Gravity
by DONOVAN94
Summary: Elaine Cousland's duty is done: the Archdemon is dead. Where she once thought to join her family at the Maker's side, instead she awakes on a strange world. Here, an evil both new and familiar has come, and as a Warden it is her responsibility to vanquish it. At any cost. She will join the strange ship that sails the stars, the Normandy, and defeat the Collectors. Once and for all.
1. The Hero

Gravity

* * *

She was born to die. Yes, that much was clear now.

Blood drenched her. It soaked through her chainmail and straps and undergarments, her skin hot and prickly against the foulness of it. Starfang felt heavy in her numb fingers, her left arm and shield was almost too heavy to lift. Pain laced across her waist where a Hurlock Alpha's sword had caught her side. Liquid fire burned her throat, and darkness swam across her vision with the threat of unconsciousness. Gore and the stench of bodily fluids made her nose wrinkle, the sharp tang the only thing keeping her in the present. Even with all her enchantments and the spells Wynne flooded into her veins, it wasn't enough to completely fight away the fatigue that came from hours upon hours of gruelling fighting.

Yet still it wasn't over. The mass of hulking flesh and darkness and nightmares still moved. It rumbled like a storm regathering itself for one last blast of lightning and destruction. The tainted dragon-god reared its ugly head at her. When its beady, insane eyes roamed deliriously across the roof of Fort Drakon, she still shivered as a coldness settled on her heart. Such evil and malice, unlike anything she'd ever imagined in her wildest dreams. It all conveyed itself with one look to impress upon her mind. The Archdemon had truly earned its name. Even with a wing membrane torn and almost half of its chest carved open from several ballista wounds, the dragon still fought on to live. Its gaze fell on her, mocking her pathetic attempts to slay its vile disease, even as it lay amongst the corpses of all its soldiers it had summoned in a bid to protect itself. With that glare, it was daring her to come at it again, the whispers it promised at the edge of her mind spoke of a thousand tortures and torments. _Just try_ , it seemed to say, _you are incapable._

But it was wrong. She was Elaine Cousland, and she was going to put her sword right through its bloody eye – even if she had to die right along with it.

Even that revelation didn't bother her. Never was she meant to survive that terrible night of fire and grief; what right had she to live where all those she loved had perished? Or in Ostagar, why had the King died, only for her to survive? Or the dozens of soldiers and civilians she had ran past on her way here, to this moment, the ones who had given their lives on her orders to fight an evil they believed wholeheartedly she could defeat. All who she had lost on this terrible, exhausting journey, all of them had more right to live than she. So dying was not a fear for her, it had simply been a delayed inevitability.

Smoke from the city below billowed up even to the top of the tower where they all lay. It turned the sky ashen, the lip of the horizon streaked with blood red from the fires. An echo of despair, a symphony of terror and horror distant met her ears. Each cry in this long night reminded her of how she was so close to failing them all. If this did not end now, then their sacrifices would've been worth nothing. It had all come to this moment: the Blight, the Darkspawn Horde filled with their taint ready to spill the poisonous seed onto the world, with the corrupted Old Dragon God at their head, the tongue of an older world baying for the blood of the new. Madness and filth lay in their wake, a world gone mad, and only the few still standing on this very roof had the chance to stop it before Ferelden fell, and the Blight moved on to consume the world.

Her companions were sprawled across the roof, each as compromised as she felt. Sten struggled to even get to his hands and knees, the burns covering half of his body causing the Qunari to emit the closest thing to a pained cry she had ever heard from him. Wynne crouched beside him, her hands aglow as she tried to ease his wounds just enough, her face haggard from straining herself so hard. Alistair, sweet kind Alistair, was struggling to stand straight. The Archdemon had knocked him straight across the roof when he'd attempted to go for the head. The panic she had felt on seeing her dearest friend's head crack against the brickwork had been so much she had almost abandoned the fight to go to him. So she had gone to the ballista's and fired all of them on the Archdemon, and watched with sick satisfaction as the projectiles had crushed bones and sundered pulpy flesh.

 _No_ , she had thought, _I cannot lose one more – not a single one!_

It seemed that Alistair now had the same idea. A conflict was in his eyes, he was trying to speedily steady himself, regain his bearings, his eyes darting to her. She knew what he meant to do. He couldn't watch her die, the same as she could not stand the thought to watch him die. They had both been there when Riordan had let them know the final truth, they both knew what had to be done. But she refused to allow him, Alistair, her best friend and now her King, to sacrifice himself for her. Not one more person would be slaughtered for her.

The Archdemon watched them, and dare she even think it, but she could've sworn it was grinning at them as it watched the drama unfold. It locked eyes with her again, the whispers drove at her mind along with it, a promise of laughter for Alistair's painful death.

She ran ahead of him. She heard him call out her name, but ignored it. Asala, Sten's mighty Greatsword lay still stuck in one of the Darkspawn. With Starfang sheathed, she plucked the sword up from the corpse and hefted it with two hands. The weight was more than she was used to, it made her grunt and legs burn with the constant sprint she kept up. The Archdemon watched her race towards it, fury palpable in the air around its sickening aura.

Roaring, it launched at her like a coiled snake sprung forth from a trap. Whether by design or coincidence, her exhausted legs crumpled, and she used the sudden downward velocity to dodge the incoming attack and roll along the floor. Launching Asala upwards, it easily sliced through the long serpentine neck, splitting it open and pouring more foul, oily blackness onto the Warden below. Pale hair stained black with corrupted blood, it fell in front of her eyes.

With one last cry, the Archdemon flopped to the floor, a wet gurgle replacing its dying breaths. The moment was now. Time to strike. Death did not scare her, as she had told Morrigan the night before. If death came, so be it, it would be worth it if a child somewhere awoke tomorrow and would never know the evil of the Dawkspawn. With her own roar, she drove the sword down into the skull of the great beast, puncturing bone and brain.

White light encompassed her vision. Searing pain set alight every vein and muscle along her body. She screamed, to the heavens and the Maker, she screamed the agony of it. Down to the very core of her being, something was clawing at her very soul, tearing it apart piece by piece. A beastly roar was in her ears, drowning out all other noise until her eardrums were ringing from the force of the sound. It tried to tear away her fingers from the sword hilt, but she wouldn't let go. Even when it felt as if her skin was melting off her bones, she refused to bow to it. The whispers of the Darkspawn became tangible in that one moment, and she heard all of their cries, their curses, their mad ramblings of damned souls locked endlessly in a cruel loop. And at the centre was the voice of the Archdemon, it called her name, shouted profanities at her, bellowed so loudly she felt her bones shake. In response she smirked at it, one last middle-finger to the evil bastard that had caused so much misery to her country. The pain was almost too much, she felt her heart begin to stutter.

Perhaps her sanity was almost at an end, perhaps death was already here. At the corner of her vision, she thought she saw two shadows amidst the sea of blinding white, waiting for her. She smiled.

 _I'm coming, Mother, Father._ She whispered. _Be proud of me._

A force exploded in front of her, causing her to scream and be flung back into the empty air. Her ears popped, and something pulled at her stomach. No, _deeper_ , at the very core of her centre, on the molecular level, she was being warped and shattered and twisted. And then she was lost, floating in water so deep there was nothing but dark coldness all around. Her amour and weapons made her sink faster, her heart abandoning its grip on life to embrace the music of silence without a beat.

And then, Elaine Cousland of Highever, the Grey Warden and now Hero of Ferelden, was gone.

* * *

 _"_ _You think she'll be alright, Doc?"_

A voice came from the endless dark. Elaine grimaced. It echoed across her brain, a searing pain on her skull that refused to abate. Maker, what had Oghren given her last night? And why was Leliana so loud? A numbness had encompassed her body, she could hardly feel her fingers. Why couldn't it take over her head and let her slip back into the pits of death already?

 _"_ _Yes, I expect so."_ Came a second voice. _"_ _Apart from that nasty stab wound in her side, she should be a-okay with rest. No, it's her blood results that are giving me a headache…"_

 _"_ _Why?"_

Clarity was slowly dawning, enough for Elaine to realise that she didn't recognise the two voices talking over her. Her stomach tingled with unease. Something was wrong, why was it so hard to move? Why would her body not respond properly when she wanted to wake up? Why did her mind feel like wool had been stuffed into her brain?

 _"_ _Lilith!"_ Shouted a voice from across the room, loud enough to make Elaine wince. _"_ _What the hell're ya doin'?!"_

The woman's voice – the one she had mistaken for Leliana (though _how_ that was possible, she didn't know) spoke. _"_ _Delan, it's okay, we've got this."_

 _"_ _No ya don't. What's she doin' here?"_

 _"_ _Look at her, the woman needs help!"_

 _"_ _She's an outsider – possibly Alliance."_

Memories were slowly filtering back. Elaine felt the unease in her stomach twist into a ball of spikes. The dread made her feel ill. What of the Archdemon? The Darkspawn? But another question became apparent: how had she survived? Riordan had said that the Grey Warden who delivers the killing blow to the Archdemon _must_ die, there was no escape. So, then what had happened? Had Morrigan performed her Dark Magic Ritual to save them after all? Alistair had said nothing, and Elaine knew he would've sooner cut his balls off then put them anywhere near the Witch of the Wilds whom he despised. So then how was she alive?

Elaine had to force the questions out of her mind to think back on later. Such riddles were making her headache worse, and other things had to take priority. The _how_ of her survival could wait until later. What was important was the _now_ of her situation. Who were these people, didn't they know who she was? Where were her friends – had none made it out of the battle alive? The very thought made her panic. She couldn't lose her friends, not now after all they'd been through. She had to get up, find them, drag them back from the void if she had to. Despite all the near-death injuries each one of them had faced, Elaine had never once allowed a single companion to be left behind. It wasn't in her nature – she would abandon no one. Through the haze of her bedraggled mind, she struggled to come to full awareness, to open her eyes and sort things out herself.

 _"_ _Enough with the conspiracy theories, Delan."_ The woman's voice snapped. _"_ _We might not trust the Alliance, but we're not hermits. And considering the state we found_ _ **her**_ _in, I doubt she's one of them."_

 _"_ _You don't think it's a little off how this chick just – poof! – appeared outta nowhere?"_ The gruff voice of Delan dropped, a tone of suspicion and fear squashed into a hushed whisper. _"_ _I mean it, Lilith, somethin' ain't right. The electrics on the whole colony've been actin' shitty all day. And that Alliance Commander's been actin' up."_

Elaine didn't know what they were talking about – some of their words made no sense to her. And that only made her more on edge. With far more effort than it should have done, she slowly managed to crack open her eyes. At first, only white light greeted her, and she panicked for a split second that she'd been rendered blind. But then everything came into focus… but that didn't make it any better.

She lay upon a bed of white sheets, in a white metal room with white tiled floors. Strange box-shaped things stood on metal tables, each glowing with runes or emitting some form of strange noise. A constant rhythmic beep came from the one by her bedside, and its shrill loudness made Elaine want to cringe away from it. On her left were large square windows where sunlight filtered in to make the white room glow. What amazed her was the glass in the windows – only the noble houses bothered with glass. Obviously, the Chantries all had stained-glass windows, but the poor and common folk couldn't afford anything like it. So did that mean that Elaine was in an estate of some kind? She didn't know of any rooms in either the Royal Palace or the Arl of Denerim's estate or even Eamon's estate that used metal for walls and floors, though.

Three people were gathered at the bottom of her bed, all in clothes that bore no insignia she recognised. Two were men and one was a woman. The woman had large cheekbones and a strong square jaw, with pretty dark brown hair that fell to her shoulders. She wore breeches and boots along with some form of short-sleeved garment across her torso. One of the men, the gruff one, was dressed similarly but had some form of strange helmet that only covered the top of his head and was made of cloth. A form of hat? Leliana would know if it was, she had always been interested in the latest fashions. The other man was dressed in a red and white tunic with long grey gloves. His tanned skin and slicked back hair gave him a more professional appearance. At a guess, Elaine thought he was a mage – a healer perhaps? It would make sense if Elaine certainly was in some kind of strange infirmary (for she couldn't imagine this room being an actual bedroom).

The man in red and white seemed to feel her eyes on him and turned. Their gazes met, and Elaine felt her battle instincts set alight. The urge to reach for a weapon was strong in her veins, if only so that she could be reassured and not feel so naked. Her hand reached out to thin air but could find no sword. It was custom amongst Fereldens to leave the weapon of a warrior by his or her bedside unless they were captives, as to avoid the very same reaction that was occurring inside of Elaine now. Without her weapon at hand, she panicked, she became furious. Her eyes broke from the red and white man to dart about the room for her weapon. Starfang had become such an integral part of herself, perfectly balanced and made to fit her, to lose it felt like losing one of her own limbs. For the first time, she actually understood Sten's point of view when he'd explained how upset he'd been when he'd discovered Asala missing from his possession back before they'd even met.

"Easy now, don't–" the red and white man came towards her, hands raised in a placating manner. Elaine's legs became tangled in the sheets, preventing her from standing. Instead she leant forwards, quick as a snake, and snatched hold of the man's wrist.

Apparently she applied more force then she'd intended, as the man grunted and his face twisted with pain. Elaine locked her icy blue eyes on his. "Where is my sword?!"

"It's alright! It's alright!" the woman said quickly, hands up in an attempt to calm the situation. "We just put your… _things_ in that locker over there."

She pointed to a metal cupboard of some sort in the corner of the room. Elaine eyed it suspiciously, her eyes darting from the woman to the box. Seeing her distrustfulness, the woman nodded to the gruff man who still stood at the bottom of the bed. He hurriedly went over and threw open the door, his eyes wide as if he feared Elaine would launch herself into the air and strike him down. The Warden's eyes instantly found the flash of silver and blue that was her sword, and her entire frame instantly relaxed. With an apologetic look, she released the red and white man.

"Apologies," she murmured and settled herself back down. Pain in her side made her wince, and she pushed down her sheets and lifted the strange itchy white tunic that covered her modesty. She only lifted it enough to see the wound in her side – now all stitched up and bandaged, even if the bruising was horrendous.

The red and white man cleared his throat awkwardly. "I was going to say not to move too much in case you aggravated it."

The woman, whose voice Elaine recognised as 'Lilith', spoke diplomatically. "This is Doctor Kendal, he helped put you back together."

Such choice of words made Elaine frown at Kendal beside her. Normally a mage would've been deployed to heal such wounds. Was this man a physician? A man of herbs and stitches? It would also explain why he had not defended himself with a spell when she'd grabbed him. "Oh, my apologies, Ser, are you not a mage?"

"Errr, no?" Kendal shot a look at Lilith with uncertainty.

"Either way, you have my thanks," Elaine nodded to him, even as she pulled back her bedsheets and swung her heavy legs off the bed. "But I must–"

She hissed loudly. When she tried to stand, pain spiked out from her side. Damned Darkspawn, she cursed under her breath. The Doctor Kendal was right there, gently pushing her back down onto the bed. At first, she resisted. No wound had ever held her bedridden before. But, back then she had had Wynne and her powerful healing magics to help her get back on her feet. And when she didn't, she always carried a few injury kits and healing poultices to patch her up until she could get to the older woman. Damn, she could use those about now.

"I said not to strain yourself," Kendal admonished softly. Elaine had to give him credit, for even though she'd hurt him when he'd previously gotten too close, he now stood within reach as if he feared nothing at all.

Finally, she relented and allowed him to guide her back into the bed. The pain was not enough to keep her down and out, but it certainly was an irksome problem. "Urgh… how fared the battle? Have the Darkspawn retreated?"

Silence met her. And then the gruff man still across the room muttered to the others, "The hell she talkin' bout? What 'battle'?"

"The Battle of Denerim…" Elaine shot the three of them a look that said how unimpressed she was with their ignorance. "You must know – the Blight almost consumed us all."

The gruff man, Delan, groaned. "Great one Lilith, ya brought home a whacko."

Lilith ignored him and walked up to the Doctor who stood at one of the beeping boxes. "Kendal, could she be suffering some form of concussion? Deliriousness, maybe?"

"I don't think so – my initial scans showed no head trauma." Kendal shook his head.

Elaine grit her teeth as her heart began to slowly build momentum – and the machine beside her echoed it. "My head is perfectly fine – what is not, is how everyone is talking as if I am not present! Now can someone please tell me what is going on?"

"We were hoping that you could explain that…" Lilith edged closer, her entire body and her voice whispering of how she was nervous. "Some of the farmers out in the fields reported that they found you in the middle of nowhere – badly hurt. Myself and some of the boys on guard came and brought you in to Kendal. From what we can tell, you're not from the colony – fingerprint and DNA scans don't match anyone registered living here. I figured you were on a shuttle, maybe to some renaissance fair? Pirates attacked and you crash landed?"

"Them damn defence towers made us a target – wouldn't surprise me." Delan grumbled.

Elaine struggled to remain calm. Building stress manifested into angry and desperate outbursts. "B-But my friends! I need to find my companions – where are they?"

"You were the only one we found out there. There was nobody else."

"That can't be…" real fear laced the Grey Warden's voice. They wouldn't truly have left her, would they? "They were right there with me. Sten, Wynne… Alistair…"

Lilith's brows upturned with pity as she heard the obvious pain in the other woman. "Tell us what happened to you."

"The last thing I remember is fighting at the top of Fort Drakon at the battle of Denerim." A knot was forming in her stomach, one that threatened to up end all the contents inside of her. Elaine looked to the people around her and quickly spoke again in the hopes they might finally recognise something she said. "In Ferelden."

Kendal and Lilith looked helplessly at each other. "I'm sorry but… we don't know any of those names…"

"Then… then, where am I?!" she demanded.

"You're on Horizon, a human colony out in the Terminus Systems."

Elaine didn't recognise those names. Was it possible she was somewhere beyond Thedas? Or maybe… the sudden thought that popped into her brain made her blood run cold. "Wh-what year is it?" Perhaps the Archdemon had sent her back into the past? It was completely impossible, but she had to rule out the possibility. When they didn't answer fast enough, Elaine's famously short temper snapped. "Maker's balls! Just tell me the year! 9:30 Dragon! Tell me that!"

"I don't know what you're talking about…" Kendal shook his head, a wary gaze in his eyes. "The year is 2185 CE."

Elaine felt her stomach drop.

* * *

It took all her willpower to clamp down the convulsions of her stomach and prevent any outward appearance that she might be sick at any moment.

Maker's breath… it couldn't be true.

She knew from enough history lessons with her childhood tutor, Aldous, that there had never been a year recorded as 2185, even as early back as the Tevinter Imperium. She also knew she wasn't as far back in time as the Era of Arlathan, because these three were all positively human. Yet still she refused to believe the leap in logic her mind had come to, and so began to spit out random words in the hopes that someone in the room would react to _any of them_.

 _Magister, Tevinter, mage, the Fade, Old Gods, Dumat, Golden City, the Maker_ … None. The only reward she got for her troubles were odd glances that warned of her new hosts thinking of declaring her insane. Delan had certainly left, none too subtly remarking how he couldn't stand the craziness. And despite his foul attitude, Elaine didn't blame him.

It was just impossible. To begin with that she even thought she could travel through time in the first place. Let alone to Thedas' future? But the odd clothes, the strange beeping boxes, the walls and floors made of metal, the thick glass in the huge windows, the way no one recognised anything she said… it pointed to that conclusion enough for her tired mind to grasp it. Was this what happened to every Warden who slew an Archdemon, she wondered. Perhaps that was why people believed that a Grey Warden must surely die upon killing the great dragons, because they were just gone?

It didn't make sense! More than likely this was the trick of a demon and she was dreaming in the Fade – or possibly she was dead and her soul was encountering obstacles before she could return to the Maker's side. And even if it were true, how on earth did it answer her question on how to get back? Ferelden still needed her, especially if the Darkspawn were still a threat.

But who was she fooling? The Archdemon was dead. She knew it in her heart of hearts, felt the truth of it in her core, remembered feeling it die even as it tried to tear apart her soul with it. So now where did that leave her?

At her hosts' insistence, she'd told them her theory. She told them that she was born at Castle Cousland at Highever, in the country of Ferelden on the continent of Thedas. She said simply how she had fought against a Blight (though from the looks of it, they didn't seem to know what that was) and battled an Archdemon only to fall unconscious and find herself in this place they called Horizon. And then she said how she believed that she had been sent forward in time. That had made the pair go very quiet and turn away from her slowly.

Kendal and Lilith now talked amongst themselves on the other side of the room. The Doctor kept glancing at Elaine where she sat dejectedly on the bed. Her face was ashen and her long, thick pale hair fell in front of her face and she left it there, detached in her quiet grief. I anything that she was theorising was even remotely true, it meant all those she still loved and cared for was gone. She couldn't contemplate such a fate, to be truly alone in this world – or any world – ever again. No, she had to find a way back, to reverse this.

Eventually, she couldn't stand the whispering, and so said loudly and with enough bitterness to have them turn back to her. "Let me guess: you think I'm a madwoman."

"Well… I-I don't know." Kendal surprised her when he shuffled uncomfortably in place. "I thought so – would be the most obvious conclusion to make, unless you're off your head on drugs. But, then–"

Lilith threw him an incredulous glare. "You're not seriously buying this?"

"Lilith, look at these results!" Kendal thrust to her a flat device with a piece of glass that glowed bright orange, many words scrolled across its surface. He pointed to something on it. "See this? She's had no vaccination work. Either she's been living under a rock her whole life, bypassed every medical exam and scanner in space… or…"

Lilith was silent, her head slowly shaking back and forth. "That's still pushing it further then I can believe, Kendal."

"If I cannot convince you, Lilith, then that is fine," Elaine spoke up, her voice flat. "All I can tell you is what I have seen, where I have been… and how lost I am now…"

Her words faded into nothing and echoed all around her. _Lost… Lost… Lost…_

Lilith's face looked torn between disbelief and guilt. She looked like she wanted to argue more, but refrained and sighed. Softly, she turned to Kendal and spoke. "We'll have to talk about this later. I've got to go – the Staff Commander's been bugging me all week for that stupid targeting system to work properly. And Kendal?" she pointed a finger at him as she turned away. "Exhaust all options before we start believing in the fantastical, please."

And then she walked off. Elaine tried not to get hysterical when she saw the wall break apart and slide away as a form of door. If that wasn't proof to her theory, then she didn't know what else would be. Kendal stared after where Lilith had left. He wrung his hands, doubt in his expression.

"Maybe she's right… maybe I'm too gullible for this shit – tends to happen when you work in these small colonies." He tried to smile, to joke it off, but it fell quickly when he saw that Elaine was unaffected. Tentatively, he knelt beside her bed and grasped hold of her limp hand. "Look, I… maybe I can pull in a few favours? I got friends who know agents of the Shadow Broker – maybe they can find out what happened to you."

Elaine felt the faintest flicker of curiosity, despite herself. "What is a Shadow Broker?"

"He – or she – is some sort of figure who deals in information. Every dirty little secret in this galaxy, he knows about it. No one's ever seen him in person though, just his agents. I could make a call, see if you're reported missing from someone somewhere else?"

"Do you not believe me?"

"I consider myself an agnostic at heart. Some things are just too big for anyone to ever know the complete truth. Maybe what happened to you is one of those things." He shrugged. When Elaine turned her face away, he pulled her back with a squeeze of her hand. Andraste bless him, Elaine thought, for he looked like a father desperate to comfort a child. He gave her a weak smile. "All I _know_ , is that a woman came into my clinic, hurting, afraid and alone. I know what that's like. I want to help you find yourself in whatever way I can."

Elaine found herself unable to respond for a moment. Damn it, the smallest shred of hope flared inside of her and the sincerity she found in those dark eyes. She hated false hopes, but as she had told countless others across her journey, hope was the one thing they had over the enemy, the one thing that could have them triumph even in the face of insurmountable odds.

Hand placed atop his, she squeezed it and gave him a smile. "Thank you, Kendal. Your kindness… its more then I deserve. I am in your debt."

"You don't even know if they'll find anything," Kendal looked genuinely confused.

"It doesn't matter. You have helped me – is that simple act of compassion not enough for me to owe you my gratitude at the least?"

"Oh, um, your welcome then." What kind of world is this, thought Elaine, where someone seemed floored by the truth of simple acts of kindness? Such a thought baffled her, she'd always been led to believe, by her father and mother, that compassion and diplomacy was the only way they would ever make the world a better place. Kendal then turned away from her, determination in his steps as he went over to the metal boxes. His fingers danced across it, and the machine blared a croak back at him. Kendal frowned, puzzled. "That can't be right…"

"What is it?" Elaine asked. Judging by his reaction, the box wasn't supposed to that.

Kendal glanced back her, mystified. "The comms just went off."

* * *

"Shepard, I think we have them." The Illusive man cut straight to the point. "Horizon. One of our colonies out in the Terminus systems, just went silent. If it isn't under attack, it soon will be. Has Mordin delivered the Counter measure for the Seeker Swarms?"

"Not yet." Shepard said measuredly, his molars grinding together slightly as he tried to rein in the jump in his veins already present just from the promise of the coming fight.

"Let's hope he works well under pressure. There's something else you should know…" the older man paused in order to take a long drag on his cigarette, and Shepard had to contain his overly large eye roll. "One of your former crew, Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko is stationed on Horizon."

Shepard balked. Well, that curve ball had certainly come out of waaaaaaaay left field. "What's he doin' there?"

"Officially, it's an outreach programme to improve Alliance relations with the colony." Those (in Shepard's opinion) creepy-as-fuck cybernetic eyes narrowed slightly. "But they're up to something, and if they sent Commander Alenko, it must be big. Perhaps you could take it up with him."

"Send me the coordinates. We'll head straight there."

The Illusive Man nodded. "This is the most warning we've ever had, Shepard. Good luck."

And then he cut the connection.

Shepard shook his head. Good God, that guy twisted his stomach, but he had no choice. Cerberus was the only one willing to get things done to stop the Reapers, and Shepard found the resources and confidence refreshing after the Alliance's bullshit-pandering to the idiotic Council. The only downside was having to listen to them, and be associated with their whole A-grade-asshole image. "Joker? Set a course for Horizon. I've got to speak to the professor."

The pilot sounded almost as filled with anticipation as Shepard felt when his voice responded back over the speakers. "Aye-aye, Commander."


	2. The Stranger

Kaidan practically marched through the throng of people, his focus on his liaison. The woman fell in step beside him as they made their way towards the huge hulking guns that cast an ominous shadow over the colony they protected. "Lilith, we've got a problem."

" _Still_ can't calibrate the targeting matrix?" she groaned.

"Those defence towers are useless if we don't figure it out."

"What do you expect us to do?" She snapped. It was so out of character for her that Kaidan actually stopped walking and turned to look at the woman in surprise. Instantly, her face fell and she tiredly rubbed her temple. "Sorry Commander, I've had a hell of a morning." She murmured.

Kaidan nodded submissively, and dared to venture, "How's the new girl?"

"Well, she's up at least… Don't know if she's making much sense, though. And to top it all off, the comms are busted."

"Any idea what's causing it?"

"None. And getting our systems back online takes priority."

"Yeah, okay…" he murmured and then snorted. "Surprised people haven't tried to blame _that one_ on me too."

Lilith at least had the decency to look a little ashamed, and offered a sympathetic look. "People out here don't trust the Alliance – it's nothing personal."

Kaidan was about to respond, when he noticed everyone around them had stopped what they were doing and looking _up._ He spun as a shadow fell over the colony, dwarfing the defence towers and casting every face into a darkened sky. The Staff Commander felt a shiver run down his spine as a familiar nightmare rippled across his memory. He stared at a huge ship, completely unknown to him by its design. It was not angular or sleek, there was no insignia painted upon it or a name. Instead it looked as if it were a twisted amalgamation of rock and metal, a floating fortress more than a ship.

"What is that?" Lilith gasped.

Kaidan didn't answer. He stepped forward and slowly reached for his assault rifle. He looked through the scope and tried to search for any sign of activity. So far, there seemed to be no sign of anything coming out of the ship. Yet still that nagging dread would not leave him alone. Something was waaaaaaaay off.

"Get everyone to the safehouse." He commanded Lilith in a quiet voice so as to not start a panic amongst those around them. Not a moment later, something on the ship moved, and a black cloud shot out of the hull. It zipped through the air, darting this way and that yet staying together. If Kaidan didn't know any better, he could've sworn he thought they behaved like… insects. As the swarm grew closer, Kaidan lost his nerve and opened fire as he shouted over his shoulder. "I'll cover you! Run! Hurry!"

Lilith, and everyone else, ran for their lives.

* * *

Well into the afternoon, Kendal was still going back and forth across his clinic in an attempt to get his 'comm.' working again. Elaine didn't know what that word meant exactly, but from the context she overheard when Kendal spoke to others who wandered into the infirmary, it was some sort of messaging system. In her mind, that meant that either their courier was injured… or from the looks of it these people used some form of magic to instantaneously send messages back and forth, much like the elves of old supposedly did.

Elaine shook her head. This whole future business really had to stop. She hadn't actually believed the random thought that had popped into her head to begin with when she'd suggested it. It had just been something to rule out. Even now, she had no actual concrete proof of it, aside from the strange date. Of course, she knew Magisters of the Imperium would give their left bollock to have that kind of power. It was something out of a minstrel's song - to bend time. Yet these people here seemed to think she was insane when she'd alluded to it. Perhaps it was best not to say anything to anyone else until she could find more evidence or a way back home. For now, she had to get the entire idea out of her mind. All it was doing was causing more grief to her heart the more she thought about it – and then a headache to her brain.

A hum tingled across her veins. A whisper at the back of her mind echoed faintly. Elaine's eyes snapped wide open and her body froze. In that instant, she knew something was wrong.

Something battered against the glass window, loud and sharp enough to make the Doctor startle from where he'd been engrossed in his work. Elaine hadn't moved, her knuckles turned white, her body ramrod straight, her eyes unfocused and she strained to listen for a sound one didn't hear with their ears. Another bang on the window, and Elaine's eyes snapped to a very large winged insect that currently tittered over the glass, each step a loud tap. A cry sounded from somewhere far away, and Elaine and Kendal watched, confounded as a crowd of people ran past the window. Someone fell with a cry out of sight, and didn't get back up.

"What on earth is going on?!" Kendal muttered, alarmed, and went for the door.

"Wait!" Elaine tried to say and threw herself out of her blankets. Her bare feet hit the cold floor, pain in her waist made her wince, but she ignored it. On her first step, she wobbled; on her second she teetered, but by her third she strode as surely as she had ever done. Pain was something that could always be put off until later. By her fifth long stride, she had caught up with Doctor Kendal, just as he had pressed the green square and caused the wall to split apart and slide open.

Kendal cried out as something flew into him and he stumbled away from it. He swatted one of the insects away, even as a second came at him again. Elaine helped him to shoo them off. Despite their apparent appetite for Kendal, the moment Elaine drew close to them, the insects hissed loudly and recoiled from her presence. Perhaps they sensed the taint in her? Elaine thought it possible, for when she drew close to them, the insects made her blood hum ever so slightly, as if they were blighted creatures.

"The colonists!" Kendal shouted.

Elaine looked to where he pointed. Outside on the path she saw people running, crying, one woman screaming as she held her four-year-old son against her breast. Each person was harassed and struck down by the large insects. Their panicked cries and painful gasps echoed in the Grey Warden's ears. Memories of Honnleath, Lothering and Denerim assaulted her mind. These people were her countrymen, the civilians she had failed to protect, in need of her, of _anyone_ to do something to help them.

And then _something monstrous_ turned the corner and came into the clinic, something that made even Elaine shrink back, startled. A grotesque creature of mud brown and puss yellow stood six feet tall before her. It resembled a large man-shaped insect with a hard exoskeleton and spikes that jutted out along the arms, legs and spine. It walked on two legs and held two arms, though with only three fingers on each hand, and a set of neatly folded wings at its back. A bulbous diamond shaped head tilted towards her, pincers for a mouth foaming as they clicked repeatedly in a form of skittering hisses. Four yellow eyes glared at her with unfocused contempt.

Yet that was not what disturbed Elaine so much. In the _thing_ in front of her, she felt the strong vibration along her sixth senses, a numbness at the back of her skull. It was the taint, the Darkspawn's curse, speaking to her through this creature. It was not as she remembered it, not like how it had been during the Blight. Instead of the whisper of the faintest melody she could barely hear, this seemed like the echo of a sour, tone-deaf replica. Yet it worked on her, and apparently it worked on it, because the creature screeched and lunged for her with unbridled hate, claws wide open to snatch her up.

Elaine acted first. She quickly dodged backwards out of its reach, and when those clawed hands passed through only air, she grabbed hold of its wrist and yanked it towards her. The creature was taken by surprise and stumbled. Elaine drove her elbow into its larger left eye, then brought her knee up into its throat as she bushed the head down. A wet gurgle told her the thing was choking, yet still she grabbed the back of its pointed skull and threw its head forward into the corner of a metal table. Every ounce of her strength was poured into the move, and she heard a satisfying crunch as a reward. The insect slumped to the ground, blood oozing onto the floor.

"Kendal, we need to move," Elaine ordered as she looked outside onto the people there a moment ago.

Her mouth fell open in horror as she saw each of them still as statues on the ground, as if a mage had cast a freezing spell on them. When she received no answer, she spun, and then wished she hadn't. Her poor, kind Doctor stood there, frozen in place, arm outstretched to point something out to her. A black mist seeped out of his nose, mouth, ears, even the very pours of his skin. On closer inspection, Elaine saw his eyes dart about fearfully. He was fully aware, but unable to move, a prisoner within his own flesh. When she touched him, she found she could move him, but he could not move himself.

Torn, she looked between her good Doctor and the people outside. Her eyes lingered longest of all on the infant in his mother's arms, his face frozen in a cry of anguish. Little Oren's face stared back at her, and Elaine's heart twisted. She did not know these people, they were not hers. But something resembling the Darkspawn was here and ruining these innocent lives. Each of their faces called to her soul, begged her to help them, to do something for them. Elaine had fought her war, no one expected her to fight another.

Her eyes darted towards the metal cupboard in the corner of the room.

No, she thought, no one expected it of her. But it was what she was going to do anyway.

Throwing open the metal door, she beheld Starfang and Duncan's shield, stacked atop her armour. She only had a moment to caress her precious items, the things that had become an extension of her own body. Her fingers drifted over the runes in each of them, the ones she had spent hours helping to craft to perfection in order to get the perfect result. Each one had saved her life more times than she could count. Then, with swiftness that astounded even her, Elaine clambered into her armour piece by piece, adjusting the buckles and straps so that it was tight enough to stay on and protect her, even if they weren't at the preferred setting. She didn't have the time to set herself up methodically as she would've normally wished. Her waist complained, and Elaine made a mental note to take it easy wherever possible. She didn't have her pack with her, she didn't have the luxury of bleeding all over herself with the notion of an easy to reach poultice solving the problem. The last thing she threw on was a ribbon she found stacked amidst odds and ends on one of the tables, and used it to tie back the long pale gold tresses of hair.

Worriedly, she cast one last look back at her Doctor. "I'll keep you safe, and our debt is paid."

When she turned back out of the clinic and pressed the green square to make the wall break apart and disappear, the view had changed again. The tainted insect-beings were gathered outside, four of them, attempting to drag the frozen people away and put them into coffin-like boxes. Elaine's eyes first found the creature trying to rip the babe out of his frozen mother's arms.

The only warning they had was a twist of her lips, and then she attacked.

Elaine leapt into the air and smashed her armoured knee into the insect's head. Blood spurted from its pincers and it tumbled backwards. The Grey Warden landed by pressing her boot into its chest to soften her fall, and drove Starfang straight through the creature's skull. They wore no armour that she could see, so the star-metal cleaved right through it as easy as a hot knife through butter.

 _BANG-BANG-BANG!_

Noises as loud as thunder sounded in quick succession from the other tainted creatures, and Elaine only had enough sense to leap away from where she had been and take cover behind a pod. The Tempest and Barrier runes in her armour helped to deflect away the projectiles that came towards her, and then reduce the impact of the few that managed to even graze her. Yet that was enough for Elaine to know that these strange weapons were not to be trifled with. Loud, unsubtle yet powerful, from what she could see when she briefly peeked her head out from behind cover, they worked like crossbows. Mounted weapons held in one's arms that fired projectiles so fast that flashes of fire spat from the muzzles.

Yet her quick mind realised that that gave her an advantage as she looked to her first kill. They had nothing to defend themselves in close combat. How good for her.

A break in the hail of projectiles, reloading, possibly? Elaine's body responded instantly. She sprung up and sprinted the five metres between her and the first target. A coldness settled over her body as the fight kicked in. It was a vicious instinct that took control of her body, made her ruthless and automatic when in battle. Howe had not spitefully called her 'Bryce's little spitfire' for nothing – she was a firestorm that burned its way through all that opposed it, efficient and thorough.

It tried to get its weapons back up and pointed at her. Elaine lifted her shield and increased her speed. She rammed into the insectoid like a battering-ram, occupying its upper torso whilst she sliced across its stomach and disembowelled it. It fell to its knees. She turned and kicked a large cylindrical object at the other two to her right. The closest fell under the thing's weight and then hissed when a stream of cold blasted it across the face. Elaine followed close behind and quickly slashed Starfang across the rapid-crossbow-contraption held in the last insectoid's hands. The blow forced the creature to drop it and left it exposed. Elaine's left arm brought up her shield to use as a weapon as the edge sliced across the Insectoid's face. She brought it back in a backhand that made bone crunch under the force, and then the point was driven straight into the creature's face like a punch. Black blood spurted and it fell. The Grey Warden pivoted and drove the point of Starfang into the second Insectoid's head where it still lay on the floor.

Ice blue eyes darted along the path for more enemies, yet found none. Sheathing Starfang and placing her shield on her back, she moved to the still-frozen people. It was strange how they still remained still, even though she had slaughtered the enemies present. Perhaps it was some powerful spell that needed an antidote? Or more than likely, the spellcaster was somewhere else in the colony, and she needed to kill it in order to free these people. Elaine closed her eyes and tried to feel along her connection to the taint; if there was an emissary here, she had to find it, though it would be heavily guarded. Once again she felt the subtle call along her sixth senses, but again, it wasn't what she was expecting. This felt different from true Darkspawn yet was unmistakably similar. Was it a strand of the taint?

She shook her head. These were questions for another time at another date, when the threat had been vanquished. Elaine looked at the frozen bodies all around her. She couldn't leave them out in the open. Grabbing the body of the mother and babe first of all, Elaine began to drag each body back towards the clinic and piled them up along the walls and on the floor. When she was done, a fine sheen of sweat had begun to bead on her brow. She ignored it and went back to the doors. With one last glance at Doctor Kendal, she nodded his way and waited for the doors to close. Focusing on the green square in front of her that she supposed represented a door-handle, Elaine tried to figure out a way to make it lock. For five minutes, she stood fiddling with it delicately in order to try and make it work, but got no result. Frustrated, knowing time was of the essence, she snarled and drove her fist into it.

The thing stuttered, and then flashed red. Elaine blinked, surprised. Well that was embarrassingly easy.

Looking up, Elaine tried not to let her mouth go dry at the huge stone fortress that hovered over the settlement she was stood in. What powerful magic could cause a tower to float? Only in the Fade should it be at all possible… Again, she shook it away to wonder about later. The Floating Tower didn't match any of the other building in appearance, so Elaine guessed that it was a foreign entity possibly connected with these tainted insectoids. A siege engine, maybe? In any case, it was her best bet to find the Emissary, at the centre of all this conflict. And hopefully she could liberate whatever humans these things were taking prisoner along the way.

The pace was set at a trot, her eyes darting left and right to try and spot enemies before they had a chance to fire upon her. She weaved through buildings, ducked into corners, any path that did not leave her out in the open. If those machines were anything like crossbows as her mind tried to comprehend them, they would pick her off if she left herself exposed. As she jogged through the settlement, she wished her armour didn't clank so loudly.

Every time she came across a frozen body, she always stopped to stuff them inside a building, preferably with cupboards or other hidey-holes. There was no point in attempting to save these people if someone could follow her and abduct them behind her back.

Pushing forward, a loud chitter alerted her. Rolling behind a stack of crates, Elaine slowed her breathing and kept herself still enough to see if the enemy had detected her. But there were cries, no sign that she'd been spotted. The large insects darted about through the sky, probably on the lookout for their next victims, yet they seemed to completely ignore Elaine's presence. Slowly, Elaine peeked out from behind cover in order to get a look at her upcoming battleground.

Six tainted Insectoids busied themselves about the place. Three pods were in the far corner, and three bodies were strewn across the floor. The Insectoids were dragging the bodies to their coffins and carefully laying them inside before carting them away. All of the enemies held those strange rapid-crossbows.

A flash of yellow light. Elaine hissed when her skull pounded from the sudden crescendo in the sour music at the back of her mind. One of the Insectoids doubled over, its veins pulsing through its thick skin until it practically glowed. The thing screeched as it arched and lifted off the ground. With another burst, the thing floated back to the ground. Somehow it stood taller, its head held with a regal tilt, as if it owned all that it surveyed. Yellow eyes glowed with a supernatural intensity, and the veins burned yellow paths through its hide. From where she hid, Elaine shivered. She had seen demonic possession before, had seen abominations, but she had never thought Darkspawn could succumb to possession, or that Demons were even interested in them.

" ** _We are the Harbinger of their perfection…"_** Came a voice of thunder that spoke from a mouth with no lips and was heard without one's ears. The possessed insectoid lifted its hands towards the floating fortress, like a Chantry Mother praising Andraste and the Maker. ** _"_** ** _Prepare these humans for ascension!"_**

Elaine's eyes narrowed. She hadn't thought Darkspawn could talk either, or was it an Archdemon speaking through it? Again, Elaine was confused by how strange the feel of this taint was along her senses. The music was off, different, and they behaved and did things she hadn't thought possible. Yet she couldn't deny what she felt to be truth. Something about the taint was here.

The possessed turned to command his forces to leave and follow behind them. Elaine waited four and a half seconds, and then launched. She sprinted forward and then jumped onto a crate to use as a platform. The possessed commander was right below her, and she hooked her boot on the edge and propelled herself into the air. The thing turned, sensing her near, but was too late as she landed right on top of it, the pair of bodies crashing together.

Pain exploded along Elaine's side but she ignored it, savouring her victory as Starfang had successfully buried itself through the top of the insectoid's skull to the hilt, the blade fully embedded in its body all the way down to its chest. She spat into the thing's yellow eyes. "Ascend _this,_ Creature. I'm coming for you all."

Something in those eyes regarded her, a reflected consciousness she seemed to inherently know did not belong to this body. It only got one cautious look at her, before the body disintegrated into ash.

* * *

"These things used to be human," Garrus said quietly as he looked down at the body on the floor, disturbed. No matter how many times he'd fought these things with Shepard back in the day, they still creeped him out. "This what's left of the colonists?"

Miranda shook her head. "No. On Eden Prime victims were turned into Husks by impaling them on spikes. We haven't seen any. The Collector's must've brought the Husks. They're taking the colonists alive for something else."

"These aren't the same Husks I fought on Eden Prime, though. They're more advanced. Evolved." Shepard regarded the synthetic shell on the ground, its face frozen in contorted agony.

Garrus's voice dropped to a lower register. "They still die if you shoot them."

"Doesn't explain what they're up to."

"Maybe it's better _not_ to know the details…"

Miranda cast Shepard a look. "The only way to find out is to stop them."

"Let's move out." Shepard's heel crunched on the skull of the Husk, crushing it into blue and black gloop.

Garrus followed behind his friend and commander, always on his six. Miranda stayed between them on Shepard's flank. The Turian mostly ignored her, concentrating more on everything around him. When Shepard had called him up on this mission, he'd been itching to see some real action. The Commander had benched him after his recovery from the events on Omega, to allow his few cybernetics to get stronger and his health to improve. It had been a bullshit excuse in Garrus's opinion. After all the fights he'd been in on Omega, the amount of times he'd gone into a fight barely patched up from the last, he was more than ready to bounce back. But then… maybe that was his adrenaline talking. After almost two years of constant fighting on the streets of the dirtiest, scummiest station in the galaxy, being stuck on a ship with no outlet made Garrus tic like a time-bomb. The exercise equipment down in the cargo hold could only hold him off for so long.

So, when he'd been selected as support for groundside support, he'd been overly eager to get going. Finally, he was back where he belonged, back with Shepard, the two friends side by side as they always had been before. Shepard used to say that he never wanted anyone on his six other than Garrus, and the Turian had taken that like a badge of pride. But since Shepard had come back, things were… different. The human he used to know had always been ruthless, straight to the point, no redtape or bullshit to hold him back. That was what Garrus had liked about him back then, it had been refreshing after being tied up all the time in C-Sec. But now… Shepard was cold, distant, so focused on the objective that he was almost blinded to everything around him. Though Garrus was not fooled. Though Shepard was a great actor in pretending to be stoic and unaffected, Garrus had known him long enough to know the subtle twitch in his finger and the set of his shoulders said how disturbed he was by the reality of the Collector attack around them. And honestly, Garrus couldn't blame him, it made him disquiet too.

"All these empty buildings…" Garrus murmured as he gazed at the ghost town. They had come to a large courtyard, filled with a transport truck and crates for the settlement's local trade-hub to the right. "It's unsettling."

Miranda nodded, her usual snark gone as she too stared. "Just like the other attacks."

Garrus's visor gave a small bleep at him, and the Turian twisted his head to the right. His avian eyes saw better than the humans, and he first spotted the flying figures coming towards them. "Enemies!"

The three of them dove for cover. Garrus managed to get into the bed of truck, the high side allowing him good cover and high ground with which to snipe his targets comfortably. Miranda and Shepard hid behind a wall seven meters to his right. Garrus's instincts kicked in and he worked off of his own initiative. He popped up just long enough to shoot an enemy through the skull, the algorithms in his visor working in an instant to record the layout of the battlefield and the positions of his enemies at that time. Garrus hunkered back down and repositioned himself to pop back up and get his next target.

 ** _"_** ** _I am assuming direct control!"_** Boomed a voice. Garrus leaned his head up just enough to see, curious. He watched a Collector double over and spring back up with a pulse of yellow light. The thing glared at them, waves of energy rolling off of it like toxic gas. **_"_** ** _This is what you face, Shepard!"_**

Garrus nodded to himself. "That's definitely new."

"Shut up and kill it!" Shepard shouted through the comm.

A concussive shot left Garrus's rifle, followed immediately by an overload from his Omnitool. Miranda joined in with a heavy warp. With its shields and armour significantly weakened, the possessed Collector was left open for Shepard to take the shot and kill it off. However, this now left them all screwed as the rest of the Collectors pinned them down, and the group had to wait for their abilities to replenish. Garrus tried to give cover fire, but the moment he popped up, the Collectors shot perilously close to his spot. He looked around, tactical mind setting to work on how to turn the advantage in their favour. There was a better spot ten metres to his left, where he could flank the enemy long enough for Shepard to get to a better spot and they could pin the bastards right back. However, the run up to that spot was heavily exposed. Garrus risked getting shot down if he tried.

His visor bleeped again, and he caught sight of something on the roofs of the buildings up ahead and to the left. A person was running along parallel with the courtyard. Garrus was so surprised he had to bring his sniper rifle up in order to see down the scope. Sure enough, it was a human – a woman! She was dressed in strange armour; long pale gold hair tied back yet the strands were left to stream behind her like a banner. Her left arm bore a shield (of all things) and her right held a… a sword? Garrus was so perplexed he had to blink to be sure he was seeing everything right. What was she doing?! No gun, so exposed, she was going to get herself killed!

"There's a civilian on the roofs!" he shouted into the comm.

"What?!" Shepard barked back. Garrus looked over and pointed for his friend. The Commander followed it, and Garrus saw the moment he clocked her. "The hell does she think she's doing?!"

"Do we get her out of here?" Garrus asked back.

Shepard growled his ire into the comm. "Leave it! Focus on the Collectors. If she wants to get herself killed, let –!"

A loud warcry drowned them out. Garrus snapped his head around to try and see. Just in time, he caught sight of the woman get to the roof just behind where the Collectors were camped and launched herself off. Through the scope, Garrus watched her land amidst the aliens, a furious expression on her face. Her sword imbedded itself in the first Collector, puncturing it through the back. Quick as a whip, she spun and lashed out with sword and shield. Garrus felt his jaw drop as she leapt and kicked and danced back and forth from one to the other. Before the Collectors had a chance to turn their fire on her, she was causing chaos amongst their ranks.

Shepard caught on quick. "She's drawing off their fire! Move!"

The Commander and Miranda ran forward up towards the Collectors and the strange woman. Garrus stayed where he was, scoping down the battlefield and picking off the targets he could. He took care to try and get the Collectors as far from the stranger as possible. He didn't want to accidentally catch her if she moved into his shot. But there was no chance of that, he realised, as she was death made flesh the way she dispatched Collector's left and right, coating herself in their blood yet not seeming to care. Garrus found himself particularly impressed when she spun on her heel and whipped her sword around her and completely beheaded a Collector where it stood. The move had looked like something Liara had once called _Ballet!_

And then he saw down the scope a Collector come up on her six, unnoticed as of yet. Garrus didn't think. He lined up the shot, took a breath and pulled the trigger. The Collector's head exploded onto the building behind it and it sank to the floor. The woman spun at the movement, and noticed the already fallen enemy.

She followed the line of where the shot must've come from, and from across the battlefield, her eyes found Garrus's through the scope. Something in him became perfectly still as he watched that face. She had eyes of the palest blue, a hue he had never seen in humans up until now. They narrowed on him; clearly she couldn't see him in detail, but she knew he was there. Chin dipped, she nodded to him as if in respect. And despite the fact that he knew she couldn't see him do it, he returned the gesture.

Then just like that, she was gone, running off and out of sight before Shepard and Miranda could make it to her.

"Garrus!" Shepard called him through the comm. "Where'd she go?"

Garrus shook his head of the chill that had settled over him. What was the human saying? Oh yeah: like someone had just walked over his grave. He picked up his rifle and jogged to catch up with the others. "Straight on, Commander. The direction of the ship, I think."

Shepard nodded as Garrus came up beside him. There was something in his eyes that looked almost intrigued… and dare Garrus think it, but something like the old Commander minutely sparked to life. "Let's see if we can catch her again."

* * *

Elaine continued her crusade through the settlement. A slight burn made her muscles ache from her heavy armour. The endurance rune in her breastplate diminished most of the fatigue one would normally get from carrying such armour. Yet still the constant movement was beginning to wear down on the Grey Warden's stamina.

Her mind flittered back to the battle she'd just left, the one where she'd found more people battling the monsters. It was good to see that others had survived the attack also. Yet her mind kept coming back to that one soldier, the one who had done her a favour by eliminating a Collector behind her. She hadn't seen him (or was it a her?) properly, from that distance, all she saw was grey skin in blue armour. A qunari, perhaps? Then why was he with the other human soldiers? What's more, why did they all carry those rapid-fire machines as weapons?

She'd managed to get ahead of them. If they followed her, so be it, if not, she had a mission of her own. When she'd found a load more colonists frozen in place, she went out of her way to drag them all to safety. Even when she could hear the sounds of battle, perhaps when this trio had encountered resistance in the same area, she used it as a distraction for the enemy so she could move the civilians without interference. By the time she was done, the fighting had moved on to someplace else.

The Grey Warden pushed herself to reach where the fighting was coming from. The burn was in her lungs now. Oh, how she wished for a stamina drought right about now! Ahead came a shout of shock, and a metallic screech. Instantly, Elaine forgot her bodily woes and pushed harder to reach the final courtyard.

In the shadow of those huge towers that hung over the settlement, was another arena. Two of the trio, the humans, were at the centre guarding a central spire against a monster. It looked like some form of metal insect, with a gaping mouth filled with skeletal heads! Electricity sparked into beams that shot from its eyes, which it used to try and blast away the two humans firing at it. Elaine looked across the arena, and thought she spotted a flash of blue and grey in the northern-most corner.

"EDI! We need that system online!" shouted the human man.

The woman grunted. "Whatever that is – don't get too close!"

Elaine saw the man pull out a different machine from his back, and this one shot forth a beam of yellow light straight at the monster. She recognised it as one of the weapons the other tainted Insectoids had used. She watched the monster shriek under the force of the beam, its body shivering as it tried to fight against the intensity.

Charging forward, Elaine began to calculate the weakest moment based entirely on the monster's body language. She'd killed Blighted-Bears, Dragons, a Broodmother, Ogres, even the great and powerful Flemeth. None of those kills came from mindless thuggish combat. No, it required timing, of assessing and counting down the perfect moment to take advantage. As she closed in on her target, she used this same observation to know exactly when the time was right. She waited until the legs trembled onto the point of collapse, for the metallic screech to descend into a groan. Only then did she climb up onto the top of some sort of metal carriage, and leap off onto the head of the monster, thrusting Starfang into its flank as she did so. Her impact forced it to its knees, and whilst it struggled to recover, Elaine pulled out her sword and held it above her head with two hands. With a roar, she pushed with all her might and drove the sword through the creature's skull.

It stuttered, desperate to cling to life, but eventually died. Elaine slid off to the ground rather roughly, yet lacked the energy for any form of grace. The pain in her waist was rather undeniable now, and when she pressed it, her fingers came away sticky where the blood had seeped through her chainmail.

A small female voice echoed out from where the human man was coming towards her. _"_ _Defence tower batteries at 100%. I have full control."_

He pressed a finger to his ear and ordered: "Then fire!"

Suddenly, the huge towers above them erupted in thunder so loud, Elaine had to duck from the assault on her ears. Fire and thunder sprouted from the tips of the towers, the force making them recoil slightly before they could fire again. Elaine's jaw went slack as she realised they were larger versions of the weapons everyone else in the strange place had. Explosions rocked the floating fortress, and debris fell away. In response, a loud rumble echoed from above, and a torrent of fire shot forth from the bottom. It propelled it upwards into the sky with such speed that Elaine was left to watch it soar with a stomach-upsetting level of disbelief.

"They're pulling out." Said the dark haired beauty of a woman who was clothed in a tight fitting all-in-one clothing of black and white. They all watched as the fortress grew further and further away, until it was only a white spec like a star in the sky.

Elaine only then realised that her quest was incomplete, the tainted creatures had gotten away, and possibly with some of the innocent civilians with them. Eyes screwed shut as the anger raged against herself, she shook her head. "No… damn it."

"Hey," said a voice. Elaine looked up to find the man stood before her. He offered her his hand, and she hesitated only a moment, before allowing to help hoist her to her feet. Though she tried to hide her wince at the pull on her stomach, she saw his dark brown eyes narrow. It allowed her a moment to study his features. His brown hair was cut short, almost little more than stubble on top of his head, its colour matching the dark depths of his eyes. His skin was slightly tanned, yet worn with scars and a tiredness that gathered in the bruises beneath his lashes. A little disturbing was the red scratches that seemed to pulsate beneath his skin on his left cheek. Perhaps he could've once been considered handsome, yet something about him just spoke of a soldier close to burning out, exhausted from the harsh reality of the world. When he spoke, his voice was cordial but sharp. "Thanks for the help back there. Now do you mind telling me who in the hell you are?"

Despite the fact that she didn't appreciate his tone, Elaine pulled in her own temper and tried to reason that suspicion would probably be her first reaction as well if the situation was reversed. "I am Elaine Cousland, of the Grey Wardens."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It…" she faltered as the grief to her situation tried to push itself to the surface once again. She knew she couldn't hold it off forever, and would need time alone in order to handle it in her own way. But for now she tried to stave it off just a little longer. "It was the order I used to belong to… I don't even know if there's any left now – or if I'm the last…"

"What do you think you were doing, charging into a fight, armed with… _that_." He scolded her as if she were a child, his hand gesturing almost disgustedly at Starfang still clutched in her hand.

Breach of manners to herself she could somewhat take on the chin, but Starfang? Never. She had far more pride then that. As she sheathed her precious sword, she sent him an icy glare."As opposed to what?"

He scoffed as if the answer should be obvious. "I don't know, a gun, or something?"

"Are _guunns,_ those things?" she pointed to the weapons she could see holstered across his body. The strange word tasted blunt and unflattering in her mouth. The man gave her a weird look, and Elaine thought it best to try and explain her situation more in the hopes he might understand. "Look, the colonists took me in. When they were under attack, I couldn't stand by and watch these monsters take them."

The dark-haired woman cocked a brow at her. "If you were here during the initial attack, how did you manage to avoid the Seeker Swarms?"

"The flying insects? I didn't need to. They left me alone."

The man gaped at her. " _What_?! How?"

"I do not know myself. All I know is that these things and possibly the insects that they command, all have some version of the taint."

"Taint?"

Before she could answer, footsteps sounded from around the corner. A strange noise between the chittering of a bird and the growl of a wolf sounded. It startled Elaine enough to have her turn to face it, only to recoil immediately.

A creature loomed within two feet of her. Just over six feet tall, stood on two legs on two-toed bird-like feet, a slim waist yet huge barrelled chest dwarfed her. Long arms tipped with three fingered taloned hands hung loosely by its sides, twitching and ready to slice her throat at a moment's notice. Sky blue eyes stared down at her with such intensity, Elaine felt naked down to her soul in front of them. A glowing blue rectangle dangled in front of the thing's left eye. Grey scaly-plates like that of a lizard covered its face, even as it tilted its head much like a bird. Worst of all was its mouth. Mandibles covered its cheeks, though not well enough, for she could still see the points of long sharp fangs from the black expanse of its mouth. The right side of its face was covered in horrid scars, which came from the centre of its pointed mouth, all the way back to the hinge of its jaw. At least, Elaine assumed so, for the worst of the scarring was covered beneath an off-white bandage.

When suddenly confronted with something such as this, Elaine's mind darted to the only logical conclusion she had. She went for her sword.

" _Demon_!"


	3. The Star-Traveller

It happened so fast, Garrus honestly didn't know what was happening until it almost buried itself in his neck.

" _Stop_!"

Shepard's shout came as loud as a gunshot. The pair froze. Garrus had his hands held up in surrender, leant back to keep his throat away from the tip of the silver-blue sword the strange woman was pointing at him. Her icy eyes were narrowed slits, her body perfectly still. The Turian felt his own outrage at being unjustly attacked by someone he thought was a good-guy rise up. His eyes darted for some way to counter-attack. But he had a very palpable feeling that if he moved even an inch, it would provoke her and he'd end up decapitated. That was an outcome he'd rather avoid.

The woman turned her head to regard Shepard as if he were stupid. "Are you mad, man? This is a demon!"

"It's _Commander Shepard_ to you," he snapped. "And _he's_ a Turian, his name's Garrus and he's with me! Not a demon! Now release him!"

When she'd mentioned the word 'demon', Garrus's mind had automatically jumped to the conclusion that she was obviously a human-religious nutter. It could help explain her strange choice of weapons and armour. However, she then completely blindsided him, when she slowly regarded Shepard's words, and lowered her sword from Garrus's throat. And then in the next instant, she was offering him her hand to shake.

"My apologies, Ser Garrus," she said with what he almost knew was a tone practised for shielding away any form of emotion. "If you are no demon, then I was at fault. I am Elaine Cousland."

Garrus's eyes darted to her outstretched hand and then to her face, loath to get near her should he be attacked again. But her face appeared reasonable enough, so he slowly reached out and grasped her hand and shook it. However, that didn't mean that his voice wasn't dripping with sarcasm. "Charmed."

The woman actually recoiled from him when he spoke. The reaction pushed him a little too far. He'd had one hell of a day, been attacked and slandered by her, and now she couldn't even disguise her xenophobia until he was gone? His fists clenched and he was just on the verge of growling at her.

Shepard seemed to share his sentiments, and threw Garrus somewhat of a sympathetic look. "Don't even get me started."

The woman snapped her gaze on Shepard, her face pinched with confusion. "You can understand him?"

The Commander blinked. "You mean you _can't_?"

"She can't?" Garrus echoed.

Her eyes darted back and forth between the two, worry growing in her expression. "All I heard was chittering and growling."

Instantly, Garrus felt a little bad about labelling her a xenophobe, when now that he realised, she must've just heard him speak his native tongue. Miranda voiced her scepticism. "Surely your Omnitool should be able to pick up _some_ of it, at least."

"What is an Omnitool?"

"Seriously?" Shepard's eyes narrowed, his patience wearing thin. "Who the hell are you? What bullshit are you tryin' to pull?"

"I don't think it would matter to you."

"Try me."

Elaine's expression grew hard, as if she herself was one remark away from throwing a punch. "Very well. I am Elaine Cousland, youngest child of Teryn Bryce Cousland of Fereldan, and a Grey Warden."

"Where are you from, Miss Cousland?" Miranda asked.

A pause. Those eyes shifted between all three of them. "In all truth, I do not know. I have been separated from my home-country and now find myself stranded."

Silence. Garrus and Shepard exchanged a look. That was vague at best, and even a Vorcha could've picked up how she was hiding something. Garrus's visor monitored Elaine's heart rate and temperature. Number one rule was that only the best liars could keep both in control when under pressure. Yet there was nothing. He shook his head at the Commander, but all it did was make the human male angrier as he took a menacing step towards her.

"Careful, Elaine." Shepard growled. "I don't like it when people try and play games with me."

Not only did she hold her ground, Elaine took her own step towards the Commander, and glared right back into his eyes. "Do I look like I'm in the mood to play either?"

More silence. Garrus thought his mandibles were about to hit the floor. _Damn_! The pair stared unblinking at each other, a silent struggle of wills taking place that left the air heavy. Finally, Shepard blinked, and he stepped back to regard the female before him.

"You don't wanna talk?" he murmured. Elaine let her stare speak for her. Shepard rubbed his face tiredly. "Screw this. Someone else can sort out this headache. Garrus? Use your omnitool for translations – just for now."

Garrus could've kicked himself for not coming up with that idea sooner. When he brought up the Omnitool, Elaine's eyes widened like dinnerplates. He ignored her. It took him a second to slip into the menu on his tool, but he eventually found it underneath all his other data. "It'll lag, but better than nothing, I suppose."

Running footsteps came from the gate. Everyone turned, just in time to see the colonist they'd found in the bunker come running up to them. He looked to the sky where the Collector's had vanished, despair written in every ugly wrinkle.

And then he turned on his would-be saviours, and shouted at them angrily. "What're ya doin' standin' here?! Ya lettin' 'em get away!"

"That ship is huge." Shepard shot back. "How exactly are we supposed to catch it?"

"Half the colony's in there! They took Egan and Sam – and Lilith! _Do_ something!"

Elaine looked to the floor, a flash of guilt upon her face. When she spoke to the colonist, her voice was soft, almost musically pleasing to the ear in its sincerity. "I am sorry, Delan. I tried my best to save as many as I could… I wasn't fast enough."

"Oh great!" The man, Delan, spat back at her. "So the lives of my friends was in the hands of some douchebag and a crazy chick!"

Shepard shot him a withering scowl. " _I_ did my best. _You_ just hid in your damned bunker."

"If it wasn't for Shepard, you'd _all_ be on board that ship!" Garrus piped up just as furiously in defence of his friend.

"Shepard?" Delan's tirade came short as he pondered the word. "Wait… I know that name. Sure, I remember you. You're some type of big Alliance hero."

"Commander Shepard," came a voice, one Garrus hadn't thought to hear again. Kaidan Alenko, in all his calm and collected glory came around the corner, his eyes rooted on Shepard. He spoke as if in a trance. "Captain of the Normandy. The first human Spectre. The saviour of the Citadel. You're in the presence of a legend, Delan. And a ghost."

"All the good people we lost and _you_ get left behind? Figures." Delan shook his head disgustedly, and then turned on his heel to storm away. "Screw this. I'm done with you Alliance types!"

To Garrus's shock, Elaine leaned closer to him so that she may speak softly for him to hear. "Do you know this man?"

"Err, yeah." He murmured back. "We served on the same ship with Shepard years ago."

She glanced between all four of them, head cocked to the side. "You're all sailors?"

Garrus didn't have time to answer her confusing question, when Kaidan came up to Shepard, and shakily held out his hand, which the Commander shook. "I-I thought you were dead, Commander… we all did."

"Sorry Kaidan," Shepard said, in a move that surprised Garrus when he seemed to dismiss Kaidan's sentimentality. The Shepard of old that Garrus used to know might have been a dick to the rest of the galaxy, but to his crew and friends, he was as good as a brother to all of them. "Reunions are gonna have to wait. Cerberus brought me back to stop attacks like this."

"It's true then… you're with Cerberus now." Kaidan murmured brokenly, as if his worst fears had just been realised.

Again, Elaine leaned over to whisper to Garrus. "Who is Cerberus?"

Garrus regarded her suspiciously. How could she not know half the things she claimed? And be sincere about it to boot. "A pro-human organisation. 'Human advancement over other species', they call it."

The woman snorted. "Sounds like a bunch of racist assholes."

Garrus couldn't stop himself from chortling at her quick bluntness.

At the sound of his voice, Kaidan's eyes caught on the Turian behind Shepard. "Garrus too? I can't believe the reports were right."

"Reports?" Miranda asked. "You were already aware?"

"Alliance intel thought Cerberus might be behind the missing human colonies. They got a tip this colony might be the next one to get hit. Anderson stonewalled me, but there were rumours that you weren't dead. That you were working for the enemy."

Shepard shook his head. "Cerberus and I want the same thing: to stop the Collector attacks. That doesn't mean I answer to them."

"Do you really believe that? Or is that just what Cerberus wants you to think? I wanted to believe the rumours – but I didn't expect _this_." Kaidan's bitterness seemed to crack through the walls in his composure, as his voice dropped to a more threatening register. "You've turned your back on the Alliance! On everything we stood for!"

"You saw it yourself, Kaidan. The Collectors are targeting human colonies – and they're working for the Reapers!"

"I wanna believe you, Shepard." Kaidan shrugged, though his look said how much that statement was untrue, and Garrus was reminded why he'd never really liked Kaidan so much in the first place. "But I don't trust Cerberus. They could be using the threat of the Reapers to manipulate you. What if they're behind it? What if _they're_ working with the Collectors?"

"Damn it, Kaidan!" Garrus snapped. "You're so focused on Cerberus you're ignoring the real threat!"

"Kaidan," Shepard said at last, rather softly. "If you don't want to listen to what I have to say, then do me a favour…" he leaned closer to Kaidan, until the pair of them were almost nose to nose. Like a feral animal, the Commander bared his teeth and hissed through a clenched jaw. "…and fuck off!"

Without waiting for a response, Shepard turned on his heel and walked away. Garrus kept his eyes on Kaidan, watched the human's face fall as he watched his Commander leave. To himself, in a small and pathetic voice, Kaidan spoke only to himself before he left. "Goodbye, Shepard."

"Joker, tell a shuttle to come pick us up. I've had enough of this colony." Shepard said into his comm., his back to his former friend and squadmate. Only Garrus could see by the slight set of his jaw how effected he truly was by this.

To offer a distraction, Garrus gestured to Elaine who was still stood beside him. "What about her?"

Miranda tutted under her breath. "Despite the fact she's a piece of crazy I don't think we need – she claims to be undetectable to the Seeker Swarms, able to sense the Collectors. Whatever that means, we need to study it. She could be invaluable to Mordin's research."

"Do not speak about me as if I were not here." Elaine reproached the Cerberus agent quickly.

Shepard stepped up to her and regarded her carefully. "Okay then, what do you think we should do with you?"

"Your objective is to stop these creatures you call Collectors?" she gestured to the alien corpses strewn across the ground. Shepard nodded. "Then our quests are aligned. These things took innocent people under my protection – I will avenge that. You might not understand this, but as a Grey Warden, it is my duty to slay Darkspawn – in whatever capacity they come. I will go with you."

Shepard nodded, but that guarded look never once left his eyes. "Alright. You're coming. But when we get to the ship, you and I are going to have a long chat about everything you've been saying. If you can't convince me, you're off. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal."

They awaited the shuttle to arrive and pick them up. That experience in itself proved to be another moment where Shepard and Garrus exchanged rather uncertain looks. When the shuttle landed, it appeared as if it took everything within Elaine to not freak out by what she called a 'flying carriage'. If Garrus didn't know any better, he would've said she looked ready to bolt, but Shepard made it none too obvious that he expected her to get in the shuttle and hurry up. Miranda made no secret for her distaste of Elaine's behaviour, so out of pity, Garrus attempted to at least appear the moral support for the woman. Despite how crazy she sounded, the way she reacted to everything that was considered _common_ amongst the rest of the galaxy… He played with the theory that maybe she was a person from a very early human exploration vessel with cryo-pods; maybe it crash-landed and her mind had been addled?

Elaine was hesitant about getting into the shuttle, as if she feared it would burst into flames at a moment's notice. Her boot tentatively pressed onto the shuttle floor, and she carefully hoisted herself up. Instinctively, Garrus's hand hovered over the small of her back to help push her inside. Once they'd all clambered in, the pilot and Shepard spoke together and they were off to go back to the Normandy. Miranda buckled herself in and went through her files on her omnitool. Probably already making up her reports to the Illusive Man. Garrus however, watched Elaine.

She stood at the window of the shuttle, looking out onto the now shrinking world below. Her face had gone sickly pale, her fingers trembled so slightly only his Turian eyes would've been able to detect it. Such shock, terrified wonder, even slight awe; he watched it all dance across her face in the reflection on the glass. He studied her more intently, this quiet moment allowing him the time to analyse her the way he'd wanted to earlier through the scope. Her body was strong, even through the old-fashioned armour he could tell her muscles must be well defined, yet the human feminine figure was not mired in her outline. Her skin was so pale in complexion, even more so than Miranda's. Yet it was her hair and eyes that fascinated him most. Lightened gold strands adorned her scalp, and icy blue eyes almost the same hue as his own. It was such a rare combination in humans these days. From what he understood, red and yellow hair and green and blue eyes were a rarity amongst humans because their differing races had all melded together with the age where transportation was so fast they were no longer divided. Yet this woman seemed so far removed from what he had seen in other humans, she might as well have appeared to be a different breed.

There was something about her, in those eyes that spoke of something ancient and otherworldly. His mind kept recalling the look of those eyes as they'd regarded him through the scope. And he wondered, what did she hide?

The stars were coming closer to them, and Horizon was shrinking away ever smaller. Elaine's eyes were fixated on the huge view before her. A quiet whisper came from her full lips, and Garrus recognised an accent similar to Dr Chakwas or Councillor Anderson. "Maker's mercy… did we make the stars ours?"

There was something lonely, lost, abandoned in her voice. The Archangel part of him responded to the soul crying out to him for protection, and so he moved without even meaning to. He stood beside her, one arm held to the rail above them for stability.

"Great view, right?" he asked, and could've kicked himself a second time for how awful that sounded in hindsight.

As they cleared Horizon's atmosphere completely and entered true space, the shuttle gave an ever so slight lurch to adjust, despite the immersion dampeners. It was something so small, all the others adjusted automatically to it, their 'sea-legs' shifting their weight as easily as breathing. But Elaine had not been prepared for it at all. She yelped, lost her balance and stumbled.

Instantly, Garrus caught her around the waist to stop her fall. She clung to his armour, struggling to get her feet back under her in her haste to right herself. Miranda and Shepard both looked over at the commotion, and Garrus tried not to let his embarrassment make him blush under his neck. It couldn't come fast enough for the woman to finally find her feet, and stand on her own. Despite the fact that he let go of her so fast it was as if she had the plague, her grip lingered on his armour.

"Thank you, Ser Garrus," she murmured, as if unsure how to speak to him.

"Don't mention it," he muttered, and hoped she never would.

* * *

Shepard tapped his foot on the elevator ride down to the crew deck. His last conversation replayed constantly in his mind, and the implications were, as Mordin would say… _problematic_.

When arriving back on the Normandy, Garrus and Miranda had skulked off back to their posts, and Shepard had taken Elaine straight to the Med-bay. With orders to Doctor Chakwas to give the woman a full examination and to put in a subdermal translator implant, Shepard had also demanded the new woman surrender her weapons and armour. That had made her bristle, almost to the point where she refused. She put up a good fight, and told him how she didn't trust him enough to relinquish her most precious possessions. Some part of Shepard could understand that. It was her battle-gear, the very tools that kept her alive, that were now as close to her as her own skin. But still, he didn't let up. He wanted them examined, and she needed to get out of the armour. Only after Doctor Chakwas – ever the diplomat and mother hen in these situations – advised Elaine she needed to let her look at the wound on her waist (which the girl was surprised they'd noticed when she'd tried so hard to hide it) did she relent. Shepard had then carefully taken the armour and weapons up to the armoury and to Jacob, ordering a full examination whilst he reported to the Illusive Man.

Once again, the Cerberus head managed to irritate Shepard beyond what should've been healthy for a normal man. All he got for his efforts were three new dossiers for more recruits. The Illusive Man had seemed interested in Elaine and had pressed Shepard for clarification, to which the Spectre had tersely replied ' _mind your own goddamn business_ '. That shut him up real quick.

So Shepard was already not in the best of moods when he ended the call and strode back to the armoury to see if Jacob had found anything of note. Shepard didn't exactly believe Elaine's story, but her sincerity, and everything unusual about her, told him there was more to this than what it appeared to be. And Shepard's gut was rarely wrong. It didn't let up when Jacob gave over his half-finished report. Apparently, Jacob was flawed with both the design and construction of the items under his examination. The sword in particular was comprised of some materials that currently were unknown to all their databases. And the way the metals had been shaped and forged, Jacob claimed it indicated techniques that hadn't been used by humans for hundreds of years. Not even Asari that prided themselves on collecting authentic antique pieces from all races knew how to make things like this. EDI had then also piped up on how the stones embedded in the armour and sword emitted very strange and very subtle energy fields, the likes of which couldn't be detected unless one had the right scanners in place to look for it – which EDI happened to be doing.

Yeah… it was all so fucking strange. The slow-as-dirt elevator hummed loudly around him, allowing him to get absorbed in his thoughts. He knew Elaine was hiding something. But what? She paraded around in outdated armour and weapons yet used them as if she'd been doing so her whole life. She didn't have an omnitool or a translator, or seemed to know what any kind of tech was. And even some of the things she said, like calling Garrus a demon and talking about tainted monsters, it just pointed to the fact she was delusional. At face value, it was too much to believe. But then could he believe that she was somehow… misplaced? Possibly. Where did she come from? What backwater, middle-of-nowhere colony, run by pure-human-old-living-cultists did she escape?

The elevator opened and he immediately marched through to the Med-bay. The door opened for him just as Chakwas had finished up implementing Elaine's new neural translator. State of the art, real time translations with no lag and completely updated with all dialects and languages. All courtesy of Cerberus' generous wallet. Elaine didn't look best pleased, though.

"Your Doctor tells me this is the only way for me to understand everyone," she grumbled, rubbing behind her left ear. "Next time, I'd prefer a linguistics lesson… On second thought, perhaps not."

"Just give me a moment," Shepard said. He gestured with his head to Chakwas, and the good doctor met him at the corner of the room for the illusion of privacy. "Well? What'd you find?"

"You won't like the answer, Commander," Chakwas told him with a knowing smile. Shepard waited patiently for her to elaborate. Like a mother to the whole crew, Chakwas was the only person alive who could play with Shepard and get away with it. "She's non-identifiable."

"You mean there's no match to anything?"

"Commander, every human being undergoes a series of vaccinations throughout their lives," Chakwas explained slowly. "Several are given during infancy to prevent certain diseases taking root. Others are introduced later, to prevent no break-out viruses when interacting with alien species. All of these – ever since we first started colonising the Sol system – have micro-markers in place. It's how we're able to tell which jabs you have or haven't had, and it also tells us where you got them from. But Elaine has none."

"None?"

"Not a single one. Which is actually impossible when you think about it. She would've had to have been living in the middle of nowhere, on her own, her entire life. But then, how did she make it to Horizon? All space-flight travel requires some form of vaccinations. Even slaver ships will give their victims a general all-in-one shot, just to minimise the risk of outbreak."

"What about terminus cess pits like Omega?" Shepard suggested. "I'm sure not everyone gets jabs there."

"True, they may not have _all_ the necessary jabs Alliance Space would recommend, but they all have the minimum required. Not even Omega would risk disease on such a wide scale. What profit would be in that?"

"Understandable. So did you find nothing?"

"Yes. And that is what worries me." Chakwas sighed. "EDI? Care to fill in our dear Commander?"

"Certainly." The round holographic image popped up on its display right beside Shepard's elbow. "I have run several thorough searches into Alliance databases. Medical records, dental records, authority reports, birth records, travel documents. None match with Elaine. She literally does not exist."

Chakwas gave Shepard a look. "Not even when you were out of the orphanage and running amok on the streets of earth, were you this hard to trace. The paper trail might have been scarce, but the odd police report still allows one to find you even so far back. The fact that we cannot do the same with Elaine in any capacity… it's just not possible. Oh, there's also some foreign cells in her blood that are rather interesting, but I'm waiting for a more thorough analysis."

Shepard crossed his arms, the fingers of his right-hand drumming along his bicep as he scowled, deep in thought. None of this boded well. Finally, he looked back at the Doctor, and gave her a dismissive nod. "Thanks, Doc."

Graciously, Chakwas left the room and locked the door behind her. As always, Shepard appreciated her sense of knowing what it was he wanted. Turning back around, he slowly stalked closer to the woman still sat with her feet dangling off the edge of the bed. Elaine watched him approach, her icy eyes guarded. The Commander pulled up a chair and flipped it around to straddle it backwards. His gaze matched hers and the silence pressed in on the room like the vacuum of space outside was slowly crushing the ship.

"Alright, Elaine," Shepard began slowly. "You're going to tell me where you come from."

She didn't answer straight away, her gaze unashamedly scrutinising him. Usually Shepard was the one doing that, and he found the switch a little unsettling. "I don't think you would know it… I'm from a country called Ferelden, in a place called Thedas."

Shepard tried very hard to not bite his lip and admit he was lacking. "You're right. I don't know of that Colony."

"And I do not know how to find it. I am adrift, as it were."

"Then how did you end up on Horizon?"

"I don't know. All I know is that I was fighting alongside my companions, and then I awoke in the physician's room."

The Commander mulled over that. Perhaps it was possible she crash-landed after an attack. His eyes narrowed as he focused on the question that had been bugging him. "Why do you use such outdated weapons? Why do you pretend to not know what any tech is?"

She shook her head, exasperated. "Where I come from, we simply don't have this kind of advancement."

"Not a good enough answer." He shot back. "Even the earliest colony settlers were miles ahead of this."

"Commander," she said, voice hard. "If you will not believe what I say, then why ask?"

"I want to know why a random stranger would just hop aboard any ship to go kill Collectors just because she felt like it." He shrugged. "Nobody does that sort of thing just because: ' _it's the right thing to do_ '."

She scoffed as if his statement offended her. "You want me to charge you a form of payment? Fine. I will help you defeat these Collectors, and in return you will help me find my way home. Deal?"

"You say that, but you don't even know the larger picture, let alone all of the smaller one. You don't know what's really at stake."

"Then tell me."

And just like that, he did. He was there for the better part of twenty minutes, explaining his chase of the rogue agent Saren two years ago and how it had led him to the reveal of the imminent arrival of the Reapers. He explained his encounter with the Reaper, Sovereign, and how it had revealed the Harvest cycle of every civilised organic being in the galaxy every 50,000 years. Then he went on to explain how he was now working with Cerberus, a terrorist organisation, because they were the only ones willing to give him the resources to oppose them, where the idiotic Citadel Council refused to believe the Reapers were even real. At last, he caught up to date by telling of how the Collectors were abducting whole human colonies at a time, and how Shepard and Cerberus suspected they were working with the Reapers… and how they were on a mission to destroy the Collectors from which there might likely be no return.

Through it all, Elaine sat and listened in silence. Every now and then, when he explained something that seemed a little too big, she would blink and her brows would furrow as if she were trying to work out a translation of it into something she could understand. But otherwise she kept pace with him. Even when he described huge sentient starships waiting in dark-space like bogey-men to eradicate all life, she hardly made a face.

Finally, when he was finished, she nodded and simply said: "Very well. All the more reason for me to stay."

Shepard's brows rose all the way nearly to his hairline. "What? Just like that?"

Her gaze glanced away to some distant corner of the galaxy he could never hope to find. "I've seen my fair share of the apocalypse. Yours does not seem that farfetched to me."

"And you'd join us?"

"I might not want to go back to that sort of hell. But I know there are two types of people in this world. There are those who do nothing, and take the consequences, or there are those who do something about it. I'd like to think of myself as the latter."

Honestly, Shepard was a little flawed by her honesty, her resolve to go into certain death and not even flinch. Yet still, he couldn't help but blurt his scepticism. "And I'm just supposed to believe that you don't know next to anything about anything and everything? You don't know who the Asari or Turians are? No recent history? Nothing?"

"You're implying that on that account I am disingenuous. Just because you cannot understand it, and that comes very close to offending me." She warned. "A recent acquaintance of mine said that some things are beyond our ability to understand, and that perhaps this is one of them. Try to bear that in mind."

Silence. She crossed her arms and let him make up his mind on his own. Her chin was tilted upwards, her icy eyes glared down her nose at him. Every inch of her exuberated confidence in her abilities, in what she had just said. It was either take it, or leave it. Some part of Shepard, an old part that he'd thought had died with the original Normandy, admired that about her, could see himself assimilating her easily into a part of his crew and team. But those days were gone and buried. The galaxy was much crueller then even he'd once thought it to be. To win this fight, he couldn't be the Commander he once was, he had to be so much more, someone who stood a chance of winning the fight. And that meant to hell with the consequences.

"Alright then." He nodded and finally stood. "EDI, have Chambers deliver Miss Cousland a stack of datapads to get her up to speed on everything that's going on. I won't have her offending my crew because she doesn't know any better. And also tell her to provide a standard Omnitool."

The AI responded into his earpiece. _"_ _Of course, Shepard."_

Elaine cocked a brow. "So I am to stay, then?"

"Like Miranda said, I still need you on my ship to test this Seeker-Swarm immunity." Shepard explained in his 'business-as-usual' voice. He walked to the door and it unlocked for him, yet he paused on the threshold. "Otherwise? You're still on a trial basis. You're still hiding something from me, and until I'm sure about you, you'll stay exactly where I can see you."

Her voice cut across him, as icy as her eyes. "So I am to be your prisoner, then?"

"For now."

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hello beloved readers! Welcome to my Mass Effect/Dragon Age crossover! I haven't put up an A/N or any type of introduction until now, because I wanted to see what the reception to this story would be like before I fully welcomed you all. I was basically just testing the waters.**

 **But I'm so happy you all seem to be liking it so far!**

 **This idea has been swimming around in my head for ages, but it has only really manifested itself very recently when I've replayed the original Mass Effect trilogy and the start of Dragon Age Origins a few weeks ago. There will be some influences from the newest Wonder Woman movie and from other crossover favourites of mine, such as "Stars Fade" (which I think all of you should go check out if you already haven't!). I hope to update this regularly, and I pray that all of you will stick with me and enjoy the ride!**

 **And yes, if you can't already tell, I have a Renegade Shepard and a mostly Paragon Cousland. BOOM! Let the screaming matches begin!**

 **Also, someone asked me in the reviews to post Elaine's class specialisations so that they could get a better understanding of her abilities. Usually, my headcannon!Cousland always has Templar abilities, but seeing as how I thought that would make her too OP in how I want this shared universe to work, I've instead settled on these two specialisations: Champion and Berserker. With these two, Elaine focuses on leading the charge and inspiring her allies, whilst also being ruthless and bloodthirsty when she punishes the wicked.**

 **And please review! I live for all feedback you can give me! Pretty please?**


	4. The Prisoner

The numbers flashed. Talons clicked over the console. The algorithms fired off. Eyes darted to check the corresponding numbers. Yes, everything checked out so far. Mandibles shifted into a smirk.

Garrus broke himself away from his beloved console and rolled his neck until he heard it click. His visor display flashed the time and he winced. He'd been standing here for hours, just calibrating to make sure the main gun was firing right. It shouldn't be too difficult, and someone somewhere could probably tell Garrus he didn't _have_ to calibrate it as faithfully as he did. But there was a method to the madness! The turian was hoping to catch Shepard's eye with an upgrade that would propel the power of the ship's weapons to the next level and beyond: the Thanix Cannons! The Turian Hierarchy had developed them shortly after the Battle of the Citadel, Garrus had managed to get a good look at a prototype before he'd left for Omega. Now, he wanted them in the Normandy, to give the old girl a fighting chance if she came upon a Collector Ship again. Shepard probably would agree to have them installed anyway. But Garrus tended to be a little pessimistic at times, so he wanted to prepare for if Shepard decided to be like his asshole superiors at C-SEC, who would only approve an upgrade if they knew he could take the extra workload. That was why he calibrated the main gun to perfection, he wanted to show that he was already doing the work, he just needed the actual gun to do it on.

The only downside, was that Garrus was getting lost in his work. This wasn't like the Mako that Shepard managed to ruin after scaling a mountain. He wasn't all over a machine attempting to fix hydraulics and suspensions and breaks. No, here he was stood at a console, crunching numbers and perfecting the programming. His mind was losing itself in the work, whilst his poor body was growing stiff. It was late, and he was beat.

His jaw and right mandible ached underneath his bandage. He longed to reach up and touch it, to rub the spot so the pain would lessen. But Chakwas had strictly ordered him to try not to aggravate it in any way. The repairs to his mandible were still settling, and if he wasn't careful he could make the potential scarring underneath worse.

He snorted to himself. Right, he thought sarcastically, just how exactly could it be worse? Garrus had never thought of himself as a vain man – aside from the jokes he used to have with Shepard. But to look in a mirror every day and see something like that… it was a little upsetting. Krogans found scars attractive. And whilst turians were also warriors and heavily devoted to their militaries, they still preferred physical attractiveness, like other species. Garrus looked like he'd gotten his face stuck in a meatgrinder by anyone's standards *****.

He shook himself out of his pitiful thoughts and rolled the hinge of his jaw. Still the pain persisted. It had been like this some nights since his recovery. Usually all he needed was a dosage of meds from Chakwas and he was good. So, despite the time and that they were supposedly deep in the night-cycle of the ship, Garrus left the main battery and headed straight for the Medbay.

He was already speaking as he strolled through the unlocked door. "Hey, Doc, I was hoping you'd–"

 _CRASH!_

Garrus only just had a mind to duck as something smashed apart into the wall right next to him. He whirled around, looking for the threat, mandibles flared to show his teeth as his instincts kicked in. But all he saw was an empty cold Medbay, save for its only occupant, Elaine. She stood glaring at him, her sides heaving.

Anger coursed through him as he straightened and stormed towards her. He'd had just about enough of her attacking him today. "What the hell do you think you're doing?! I–"

"Where is he?!" she hissed so savagely that Garrus had to pull up right in front of her, his steam cut short in the face of such fury. Only then did he get a good look at her. Her cheeks were blooming red, her golden hair was now let loose down her back in angry waves. She bared her teeth but her eyes were puffy and bloodshot; he could smell the salt of tears. She interrupted his observations when she took a menacing step towards him. "Your _commander_. Where is he?! I'm going to murder him!"

She spat the title like a curse. Garrus decided to play his cards carefully. He folded his arms over his chest and spoke indifferently with the greatest poker face he could muster. "What's your problem? What's he done to you?"

"What has he _done_?" she echoed in quiet outrage. Turning on her heel, she stormed back to the bed she had been sat on, and picked up a handful of datapads from a pile. "How about leaving me with _this!_ And _this! This!_ And _this!"_

With each hissed word, she flung them hard back onto the cot. They bounced from the force, and one came dangerously close to falling off to the floor. Garrus wondered if he should alert EDI or Shepard, or possibly even Yeoman Chambers, seeing as the woman was obviously close to a psychotic break. She was pacing frantically back and forth in front of him, hands running through her long hair. A wild animal, he realised was what she reminded him of, caged and ready to break free in a fit of panic.

"I've been sat here the past hours reading through each one. Your Shepard thought I needed to be re-educated in order to function aboard this… _Ship!_ A ship that sails the stars!" she turned back to him, a look on her face as if the very words she'd just spouted were madness. "Where I come from, a ship sails on water – it doesn't wander from world to world!"

Garrus frowned. Wow, that had to be a _really_ back-water planet if they'd regressed that far. "I don't understand…"

"I can't read anymore! If I do, I'll break! He's left me _alone_ to realise that _everything_ has changed around me, that _nothing_ I know is right." She was speaking more to herself, a mutter of despair. As if realising that Garrus might be a rope to save her from drowning, she hurried back to the bed and held up one datapad after the other as she explained. " _This one_ , tells me about towers amongst the stars that can propel someone to the other side of the night sky in an instant. _This one_ , says there is not one world of life, but many. That **_toor-ee-ans, ass-ar-ee, sal-arr-eeans,_** all of you are not races, you're _people_ – your own _people_ from your own _world_. And then _this one,_ tells me all about humans – except for the fact that I don't recognise any of the customs, places, or religions in it! All of these tomes-on-scrolls use words half of which I don't understand!"

Despite the fact that she was talking nonsense, Garrus couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her. He cleared his throat uncomfortably. This was _so_ not his area of expertise. "I guess… someone _could_ get lost in all that."

Finally, she seemed to lose her drive, and was left with nothing but fumes. Elaine collapsed onto the mattress, shoulders slumped and blue eyes distant. Her voice was hollow and sad. "There's nothing… I thought I would find some mention of where I come from. Something familiar. But all I realise is how alone I am in this cold place."

Damn it, he knew he shouldn't get involved. He didn't know the woman, much less trust her or think she trusted him to be of any help. But that pitiful way she held herself was just eating at his insides. "Okay… Shepard might've been _a little_ off with leaving you to deal with this by yourself when you clearly seem _distressed_ by it."

"A vast understatement." She snorted bitterly. "Did you know, Ser Garrus, that I am now his prisoner here? He has taken my possessions, and I assume he does not plan to release me to fight alongside you against the tainted monsters – the Collectors."

"Um, did Shepard tell you everything?" Garrus asked a little uncomfortably. "About what this mission actually is? The Collectors? The Reapers?"

"Yes. He did. I know exactly what is at stake."

"Can you blame him, then? Considering everything we're up against, I'd rather fewer people joined up for this fight. It'd mean less death in the end."

"Then why do you want to fight?"

"Shepard's my commander, my friend. I won't ever leave him; unlike Kaidan, I don't lose sight of the end goal because the particulars don't agree with me. I know what we're fighting for and I know what will happen if I don't – and I'm willing to pay the price. I don't see the point in staying quiet whilst the galaxy is at stake."

Her gaze was steady and commanding of his attention. "Then you know why I need to fight alongside you."

"Maybe… but it's not my call to make."

Something in her turned wistful, distant. "Do you think Shepard would at least return my weapons and armour to me? They belong to me, I need them back."

"You're that attached?"

"Would you allow anyone to mess with your weapons?" she asked. Garrus had to admit, she had a point there. If someone ever touched his rifle – or worse, his visor – without his expressed permission, he would've flipped a table in his anger. "It is an old Qunari wisdom that I found transcended into my own people: the weapon of a warrior is more than just an extension of their body. It is a part of your soul. That sword has been with me through many things, saved my life so many times. I don't feel whole – I don't feel _safe_ – without it."

The conviction in her voice convinced him of the truth. Which was why he suggested rather truthfully: "I'll talk to Shepard. See what I can do."

"You would?" she echoed, eyes widening in surprise. He nodded, and her face softened into a small grateful smile. "Thank you."

"Um, no problem."

Elaine looked away in thought. "Perhaps my answer lies in these," she held up the nearest datapad. "Maybe your Shepard is right: I need to learn my way before he will allow me to fight. But how can you learn when the truth is so _hard_?"

Garrus took a little step closer. He didn't dare come too close, there was that barrier of unfamiliarity that prevented him from relaxing into that easy conversation. "Maybe, with all _this…_ all you need is someone to soften the blow, as it were. I hear culture shock can be quite… shocking."

"Wasn't any of this surprising to you?" she quickly asked, turning to face him as if this imagined common quality would help to alleviate her shame. "You are not human, yet you must have been introduced to all of this."

Unfortunately, Garrus had to be the burst in her bubble, and shrugged. "Actually, I grew up learning the basics for all cultures in school. It's just everyday life. It's normal."

"I've had none of that. It is _abnormal_ to me." She shook her head, brows cast down angrily. "How pathetic of me. Akin to a child – worse than a child."

"Well, maybe not." He tried to offer. "But to be honest, we're not perfect at this 'society' thing either."

"What do you mean?"

"You can be Hanar, Turian, Human, Batarian, and all have very different ideas about how it all works. Mostly, some of the things unique to us are left behind in favour of the benefit of what we're trying to build. The dream is to have a society where we all push to work together. Can't say that the dream is doing very well at _getting here_. But, if you've got that, you'll fit right in."

"But I know _nothing_. No culture, no laws, no social graces."

"Alright then: where you come from, do you have basic laws? No theft, murder or rape?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"You have to pay for things you want with currency?"

"Yes."

"Is slavery bad?"

"Of course!"

"Good, only the Batarians will really try to argue with us on that point." He inclined his head apologetically. His eyes found hers. "You see? You know plenty to get you through."

"And what happens when I see the impossible? Something my basic knowledge will not be able to explain?"

Garrus thought on that point, shifting from foot to foot. "Then you can always ask. My mother used to say: 'there's no shame in ignorance, only your stubbornness to remain in it.'"

"I like that." She nodded slowly. And then, something daring and light entered her tone, a test of waters. "And will you be my saviour? Come to rescue me from my ignorance when the time arises?"

"You'd ask me? I still haven't forgiven you for pointing a _sword_ at my throat."

"Oh dear," she winced, "I am sorry about that…"

"How can you go so quickly from nearly decapitating me, to being this level of civil with me. I mean, there's not even suspicion, at least?"

"Should I? You aren't a demon, as I thought you were. You might not be a race I recognise, but even these scrolls have told me your people are just as sentient as my own. And despite the fact I did threaten your life, here you are. Comforting me. Why should I repay that with contempt when all you have done is earn my thanks and comradery?"

Garrus honestly didn't have a reply for that one. He'd expected her to distrust him because he was so _alien_ to her. He'd thought she would avoid him, treat him with suspicion and contempt. Yet the thought never crossed her seemingly naïve mind. No one in the galaxy would ever be so stupid as to freely trust another person after only knowing them a few hours. Elaine was like a child in that respect, and Garrus knew that many less honourable minds would've taken advantage of her if they could. Yet here she was and didn't appear to stupid in the slightest whilst doing it.

But why was he talking to her? Never mind that she was talking to him, why was Garrus getting involved? He'd just come here to get his meds. He didn't know this woman, he didn't trust her, the only time they'd had in each other's company outside of the ship was when she was threatening his life and insulting him. Was it because talking with her just felt _easy_? It was like Shepard used to do back in the old days, but who now hardly came by, pent up in his quarters doing paperwork and avoiding all contact with those he'd once thought of as friends – even Joker was making comments. So was Elaine a replacement for something Garrus desperately wanted back; an ear, a friend? Whatever. It didn't matter. Analysing the situation had just sucked the ease out of the room and the tension had swept right back in to encase him. He should just return to the battery, this was stupid.

Apparently, his sudden awkwardness was noticeable to her as well. "Ser Garrus–"

"Please, no _sir_. it's just Garrus."

"Garrus…" she murmured his name, as if testing out the sound of it on her tongue. She stood and slowly approached him. Though she didn't reach out to touch him, her gaze was sincere. "I mean it. Thank you. For calming me – Maker's breath, just talking to me. It was something I desperately needed, and I owe you for it."

Was there something in the way she spoke? Garrus felt the easy urge to talk to her, a need to bridge the silence between them, and retorted wittily. "It's not like it was completely unentertaining, hearing you mispronouncing names."

"I did?"

"I'm never gonna be able to look at a hooker again without hearing ' ** _ASS-ar-ee_** '." They both chuckled at that. And then Garrus felt his awkwardness return again as the laughter died and he realised he had nothing to say. The proper thing to do was to leave her to sleep, to go back to his quarters, to be professional. In regard to his sense of protocol, he could probably say he was at least a _competent_ turian. "I'm, uh, glad you're alright now, though. You know."

"Yes, thank you."

"Err, right then. You know where Chakwas is?"

"The healer? She retired to her chambers an hour ago."

"Not to worry – I know where she keeps her stash." He made his way to Chakwas' desk drawers and pulled open the middle draw. He saw many sample medicines, but plucked out a specific purple-dextro bottle. He held it up to the light triumphantly. "Ah, gift of the spirits: painkillers!"

Elaine's gaze turned curious. "For the scars? How did you get those…?"

"I should go." Garrus quickly interrupted and could've kicked himself for the third time today for having as much tact as Shepard normally used whenever he said that horrid sentence.

She seemed to realise what he'd done and dropped the subject. Though her calculating eyes made it clear the issue was far from dropped. "Oh, very well. Goodnight, Garrus."

"Goodnight, Elaine."

* * *

The next morning, Elaine mostly watched through the infirmary window the comings and goings on of this strange metal 'ship' – if that is what it truly was. Her body clock adjusted easily, and though the Dr Chakwas had explained to her that there was technically no sunrise or evening on board the ship, they still rotated their days as if it were. Elaine couldn't quite wrap her head around a world where a sunrise didn't exist, so did as Garrus had suggested to her and pushed it from her mind until it could be dealt with later. So she awoke when her mind had told her that it was just before 'dawn', which meant that she was awake before Dr Chakwas came to rouse her.

The good doctor had brought clothing, a spare set of her own uniform, a long-sleeved and high collared tunic and leggings with black boots. Elaine accepted the gift with great appreciation. Whilst being on the road and living like a soldier had meant she had no shame of her body, she had still grown up as one of the nobility, so a part of her mind couldn't fathom being so bodily exposed all the time. However, she was a little… _uncomfortable._ The previous evening, Chakwas had taken one look at her breast-bindings and undergarments, muttered a rather loud " _how primitive!"_ and had thrown them away. Whether she expected Elaine to use other clothing for her unmentionables, she did not say nor provided any replacement. The Grey Warden was willing to bare the friction until she could reach a merchant, but that didn't mean she had to be happy about it.

As she watched the people of the ship come and go on their busy rounds, Elaine did her best to listen without being noticed. She had to learn everything she could about this place, what might've brought her here and how she was going to get home. To the others it might seem as if she was passively accepting incarceration, but she was far from it.

Her research the previous evening had truly shaken her. So much information, she'd been overloaded with it soon after starting and had to stop. But what she had been able to pick up, was that it threw her theory of being shot forward in time out the window. There was no mention of Fereldan, or Blights, or Darkspawn, or Thedas, or even the Maker! She'd scanned these peoples calendar, back through the years, tens of thousands of years, but had found nothing akin to anything she recognised. So if she wasn't in the future, then… where was she?

Blood pounded in her skull, and her breathing quickened with panic momentarily. Calm, she thought. The child of Bryce Cousland did not cower when the odds grew great. There had to be a solution to this problem. She had come through the door to this world, and doors worked both ways. All she had to do was bide her time, learn what she could, and find her way back.

That wasn't to say that what she had promised to Shepard, spoken of to Garrus, her pledge to fight the Collectors, was a lie. No. She fully intended to carry out that oath. However, she couldn't rely on Shepard to find her a way home; she had never been a woman to let others decide her fate for whilst she did nothing. She was a woman of action, of finding solutions to problems. It was what she did best. And the best method of that, was to listen, learn, investigate and put the pieces together. The only way she would be able to do that, was if she observed this great new world, learned its magic and science – no matter how daunting it might be – and gained the trust of those within it. Only then would she find the chink in the armour, discover the truth and plot her course home.

So one could imagine the grand opportunity that presented itself to the Hero of Ferelden, when a bouncy ginger-haired girl came bounding into the infirmary. She was a woman of great animation and over-eagerness that bordered on ever-so-slightly-annoying. Introducing herself as Kelly Chambers, it was very easy for Elaine to listen to the woman prattle on as she instinctively talked and walked, leading Elaine out of the infirmary.

"I thought I'd give you the tour of the ship." Kelly smiled so wide all of her front teeth could be seen. "You might as well know your way around."

Elaine nodded. She'd tied her golden hair back into a low bun, though one stubborn lock kept falling in front of her eyes no matter how many times she pushed it back. "Indeed."

"The Normandy SR2 is larger than the average frigate class ship. We have four decks; your currently on deck 3, the Crew Deck. Here is mostly where the crew is stationed. I suppose you'll spend most of your time either here or on deck 2, the CIC."

"CIC?" Elaine frowned.

Kelly nodded and promptly elaborated. "Combat-Information-Centre. Up there is where we plot navigation, it holds the armoury and the tech-lab, and basically where all the important decisions are made." They came out into the main area that Elaine could watch through her window in the infirmary. Kelly grinned and spread her arms open wide in proclamation. "Ah! Here we are! This is the mess hall, where you can eat, with our lovely Mess Sergeant Gardner as your chef."

A square-set man, with balding dark hair stood behind a counter. Silver cupboards and fonts were behind him, and he lounged there scrubbing the top with the same enthusiasm as he might scrub a privy. At hearing Kelly's voice, he looked up, and warily watched Elaine approach. When he spoke, his voice was more of a grouch. "Mornin' miss,"

"Good day, Serah." Elaine nodded her head politely.

"I'm just showing Elaine round the ship," Kelly announced proudly.

As if understanding, the tension in the Gardner man eased and a friendly smile took its place. "Ah, then why don't ya try some of my grub, whipped it up fresh this morning – try a bite!"

He whipped out a spoon from one of his big silver pots and held it out to Elaine. Kelly winced and moved to intercede. "Oh, I really wouldn't–"

Too late. Elaine swallowed the mouthful. She chewed quietly in thought. The texture was not unpleasant, but the flavour was a little lacking. All low hum with no pay off. It wasn't bad cooking, by any means, just… boring. "Hmm, better than Alistair's cooking, at least."

Gardner's smile became confused. "Why thanks… I think."

"Let's move on!" Kelly said hurriedly. She directed Elaine's attention away from the cook by pointing down a long corridor to their right, lined with metal pods. At the end of the hall was a closed door, the usually green box that floated in front of it was turned to red. "Down there is the Forward Battery, that's where Mr Vakarian works on his 'calibrations'." Kelly couldn't keep in a girly giggle. She leant towards Elaine, her voice dropping to a near whisper. "Between you and me, there's something about his bad-boy-brooding that just makes women like us melt."

This was the point that Elaine could no longer take the woman beside her seriously. Elaine had known enough gossiping girls that swooned over the handsome knights back at court. She hadn't cared for it then, and she didn't really care for it now. So instead, she rolled her eyes and pretended to go along with it, though her voice did drip in the slightest sarcasm. "Really…"

"Okay, then." Kelly seemed to pick up on her impatience and moved on the tour. They came back through the mess hall, and the room opposite the infirmary was pointed out. "Over there is the XO's office; it's where Miranda works. I wouldn't disturb her if I were you. Down here is the elevator, it can take you to any of the levels on the ship – provided you have clearance."

"Clearance?"

"Yes, like deck 1 – the Captain's quarters. That's where the Commander sleeps. No one's allowed up there unless strictly invited."

"What about the 4th deck you mentioned?"

"Oh, engineering, that holds all the engines and the drive-core. I don't think you'd like to head down there – you might just get in the way. Other than that, all there is to see is the cargo hold. That's where we–"

"I know what a cargo hold is, Miss Chambers." Elaine couldn't stop herself this time from snapping just a little with her impatience. Maker, she might not be up to date with this time, but that did not mean she was a simpleton! It would grow very annoying _very_ quickly if people here continued to treat her as such.

Kelly seemed to realise her blunder, and her brows turned up in apology. "Oh, o-of course. Follow me, and I'll show you to the observation decks o–"

"Chambers!"

The voice cracked like a whip down the hall. Kelly jumped, her spine going ram-rod straight. Elaine merely turned, every part of her controlled to the maximum as she watched Shepard march towards them, his expression thunderous. His eyes briefly flickered to Elaine, before settling on Kelly. When he stopped in front of them, he folded his arms across his chest and glared at the woman. She meekly bowed her head to stare intently at the floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Shepard asked, though his tone betrayed the anger he tried to pull off. He sounded more like an exasperated parent then anything else.

Kelly wet her lips nervously. "Well, Commander, I was just showing Elaine around the ship. Seeing as she's going to be staying here and all–"

"Aren't you supposed to be on duty?"

"Miss Chambers holds a valid point, Commander." Elaine spoke out, attempting to restrain the twitch of her lips. She met the commander's gaze unflinchingly when he turned his stare on her. "I mean, if I am taking up residence aboard your ship, I will need to know how to care for myself. Unless of course, you would rather keep me confined to the infirmary, in which case you'll need to assign someone to bring me food, bathe me, show me to the facilities, etc. So either Miss Chambers fulfils that role – of which I _greatly_ regret taking up her time away from duties that might make her more useful to you – or you could do it. Seeing as you're already here and appear to be doing nothing."

His brows came down over his eyes in disapproval. "I'll have you know that I was on my way t–"

She grinned back at him. "Splendid. You can give me the quick tour on your way."

"I'm not doing that."

"Oh, how disappointing. Miss Chambers, I'm afraid it's just going to be me and you. I know you would more enjoy this, so let's take the more _in depth_ tour."

Her eyes never once left Shepard's. Her politician's smile never wavered. Shepard's cheek bunched where he bit the inside of his mouth. He looked extremely annoyed and Elaine drank in the victory of it. At length, Shepard ground out: "Kelly, return to your post."

"Yes, Commander…" the yeoman mumbled and scurried out of their sights faster than if an Archdemon were nipping at her heels.

"Follow me." Shepard said stiffly and marched away.

Elaine nodded airily. "Certainly."

"For now, you'll stay in the Medbay for sleeping quarters–"

"Rather impersonal, don't you think? One could almost be forgiven for thinking it to be a _prison cell._ "

"What, would you rather stay in the crew quarters?" he demanded with a look over his shoulder. Before she could answer, he dismissed it with a wave of his hand. "Fine. Whatever. All you need to know is where you eat, sleep and shit. For now, I want you kept on the Crew Deck."

"All this room to explore? My, what luxurious accommodations your making for me, Shepard. I _am_ impressed." This time, she made sure her voice was drowning in sarcasm.

Shepard wheeled around to glare straight into her eyes. "Aboard this ship, you will address me as ' _Commander_ '."

"That would imply that I allow you to wield the authority to direct me." Her smile was gone, her voice matching his low growl. She would not bow to him. "I do not. Especially not when you seem content to squander my talents by keeping me a prisoner. _Shepard._ "

They scowled at each other for minutes on end. Neither would give in, two dominants unwilling to relinquish the power they'd known all throughout their lives. Yet it was Shepard who seemed tired of the games. Without breaking eye contact, he pointed to three separate locations around them. "Crew's quarters are over there, get your meals from Gardner, and ladies restroom is over there. Anything else, you're on your own."

And without so much as a farewell, he dismissed himself from her presence. Elaine watched him step around the corner in the box that Kelly and others had called the 'elevator'. And then he was gone. Briefly, Elaine wondered if what she'd done, intentionally provoking him, was wise or just childish. She regretted goading him, when it appeared he did hold at least _some_ authority over her. It would be his choice that would release her from this confinement, to see her property returned to her and to see her fighting on the battlefield once more. But then she reminded herself that his was the decision to take those freedoms from her in the first place. So in kind, she would be extremely difficult so as to show him what a bad decision he'd made.

Walking down the corridors, she came to a door set into the wall that slid away at her approach. Inside was a room of silver, with facilities that most confused her. She stepped inside, determined to learn of it.

A disembodied feminine voice floated around her. "The female facilities are on the other side of the ship, Miss Cousland."

Elaine startled and spun, fists grasping for a weapon that was not there. When she saw a silver-white glowing ball pop up on the wall at her elbow, she leapt backwards. It took a good few minutes to get over her shock and come to terms with what she was seeing. "Maker… a spirit…"

"Correction," said the voice, and lines danced across the glowing ball in time with the words. "While I am a non-physical entity, I am not a ghostly apparition. I am an AI housed within the Normandy. The crew calls me EDI."

"EDI? And you… _possess_ this ship?" Elaine asked uncomfortably. She had never heard of such a thing. Usually spirits and demons could only infect bodies that suited their purpose to see the mortal world.

"No." the voice – EDI it called itself – said matter-of-factly. "I am connected to the Normandy, but my shackles prevent me from taking full control. I am designed to help the Normandy during navigation and cyberwarfare combat. Other than this, I am here to help the crew in any way I possibly can."

"Very well…" Elaine said though she hardly understood what that all meant. A spirit as a servant, as a part of the ship? This place just became stranger and stranger with every passing hour. In a bid to talk to the spirit in an attempt to not appear rude, Elaine tried to come up with some realm of conversation. "So is this the privy?"

"This is the men's restroom. The female equivalent is down the hall."

"Why must there be a difference?"

"For privacy. Organics, especially humans, have strict rules about fraternisation. Whilst this is technically not a military vessel, there are still distinctions between certain facilities that allow for privacy when it comes to hygiene."

Curious, Elaine walked back out of the room and moved down the hall until she was at an identical door. When the door opened at her presence, she stepped inside… and slumped, disappointed. The two rooms looked exactly the same.

"EDI…?" Elaine looked behind her to see if the floating bubble had followed her, but saw no trace of it. Had it stayed in the other room.

Yet again, her voice sounded all around her. "Yes, Miss Cousland?"

Elaine startled again with a yelp, spinning to see the ball on the wall beside as she had been in the other room. "Ah! How are you here already? Did you get ahead of me?"

"I am everywhere aboard the Normandy. I can see you through the security cameras, hear your voice via the comm. channels and listening devices. These terminals act merely as ways for organics to feel as if they are physically interacting with me. This way I can know of everything that happens aboard the Normandy, and report directly to Commander Shepard."

"You can speak to him, even now? Relay messages?"

"Of course. Is there anything in particular you would like me to say?"

An evil smile glinted across the Grey Warden's face. Yes, she was a woman grown, yes perhaps it was childish, but this was too good of an opportunity to miss. Elaine had been the youngest sibling once in her lifetime, and a youngest sibling always knew how to annoy the eldest with the greatest effect. "Tell him I require his servants to draw a bath for me."

"You can do that via a shower."

"A shower?"

"Yes. At the cubicles on the far wall are buttons which summon water to the spouts in the ceiling. They provide clean recycled water for your bathing uses." EDI provided helpfully.

"Tell Shepard I need instructions on how these ' _shou-wuh-ers'_ work."

"But I just told you–"

"Just relay the message to him." she said, and then added softer, more politely: "Please, EDI."

There was a moment of pause, and then the feminine voice spoke again. "Done. He is confused and I believe compiling a correct response."

"Good. Now, quickly tell him I require assistance on where to find a privy."

"The toilets are–"

"I know. Just ask him."

Another pause, and when EDI's voice returned, she sounded a little confused. "Certain indications suggest the commander is become extremely uncomfortable with your line of inquiry."

"Excellent. Now tell him I have changed my mind on bathing. Inform him that his staff has deprived me of undergarments, and require fresh ones immediately. I want you to make it expressly obvious the pains my body is going through, and how he could _tremendously_ help me."

Another, far longer pause this time. "Now he has become angry. I quote: ' _tell her to stop this shit – it's not funny!_ ' I do believe Mr Moreau, however, _does_ find it funny." Could Elaine be lying but did the spirit sound ever so slightly amused by this? There was a thoughtful silence, and then EDI spoke with an ever so slight accusation yet admiration. "I now realise you are trying to have me purposefully annoy the Commander."

"No, EDI." Elaine smiled innocently. "The Commander wishes for me to stay on this ship. So I wish for you to inform him of all my activities so that he can be assured I am doing just that. And I do mean _all_ my activities."

"Very well, Miss Cousland."

* * *

After an hour of this, Elaine decided to end her fun and gave the spirit EDI a much-deserved break. She wondered instead if she could annoy Shepard by simply entertaining herself in other ways aboard his ship. So she decided to explore this privy room. She was most interested in these mysterious showers. The way EDI had described it made it sound like a waterfall contained within pipework and commanded at the pressed of buttons and pull of levers. She wondered if she had the chance to get clean herself, seeing as she hadn't properly bathed since arriving on Horizon.

She pressed the button, thinking that maybe the miniature pipe-work would need time to summon the water and get it hot to her specifications. However, she was completely unprepared for the immediate response. In that same instant, water shot from the spout above her, dousing her in liquid warmth. Elaine shrieked and stumbled out of the deluge, scrambling to not get her clothes wet. In her haste to retreat, her hip hit the bowl of a metal-privy, her back thumping against a button behind her. The bowl beneath her roared and she felt the suction of air. Elaine startled and jumped up, only to stumble into something right in front of her.

"Whoa, easy there!" came a voice from thin air.

Battle instincts sprang to life. Elaine's arms shot out and ensnared a body that she couldn't see. With a yell, she wrestled it to the ground, pinning it down by straddling its waist. Her fist drew back, but before she could strike, the air fizzled, crackled and then popped away. The figure of a woman draped in black with a hood drawn around her face lay underneath Elaine, hands splayed up in an attempt to parlay.

"Easy!" the voice cried. Elaine judged her assailant, studied the look of panic in those shadowed eyes. It was a look she knew well, a trickster that had meant no harm in their pranks, just fun. She'd seen it so many times when little Oren had tried to make her jump. Elaine closed her eyes and the familiar ache in her chest… poor little Oren… Softened, Elaine stood and held out a hand to the woman below to lift her to her feet. Despite being wrestled and nearly beaten to a pulp, said woman was grinning. "Wow, great reflexes. It's not often someone catches me."

"Who are you?" Elaine asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

" _Pssh_ , where are my manners?" the woman tutted her own behaviour, and then bowed elaborately. "Kasumi Goto, at your service."

The Grey Warden relaxed her still-tense stance and nodded her head in return. "Elaine Cousland."

"Oh, I already know who _you_ are, honey."

"You do?"

"People are talking," Kasumi grinned, the tip of her gloved finger tapping the end of her nose, "and I hear it all. You're the mystery woman Shepard found on Horizon, the girl who looks like she stepped out of another time – or that's what the boys chatting on navigation say."

"You have me at a disadvantage," Elaine managed, feeling a little awkward at how friendly this woman was being. It was why Elaine had never pursued a life of politics and much preferred combat. Despite the fact that her father had told her she'd had the silver-tongue able to talk the skin off a cat since she was five, and her adventuring companions had often said she was the ultimate epitome of diplomacy – Elaine was _atrocious_ at small talk, at the light and simple conversations that was required of politics… and much of sociable affairs. Elaine was far too truthful, she told people exactly how she felt, and that made for poor politicking. "What is it you do aboard this ship?"

"Oh, I'm part of Shepard's 'team'," said Kasumi, "the one he's been preparing for this suicide mission we're all skipping towards. I am the best thief in the business."

"I can very well believe it, I've never seen someone have an ability to turn themselves completely invisible."

"And you have no problems with me just admitting to being a thief?" though everything from her nose upwards was consumed in shadow, Elaine managed to just about see one slim eyebrow cock with curiosity. "Don't know why, but I had you pegged as the 'honour above all else' kind of person."

Elaine smiled wistfully. "Kasumi, I have called thieves, murderers, assassins and apostates my friends as well as honourable men."

"Oooooooo, sounds like a good story there." Kasumi leaned forward, bouncing on her toes eagerly. "You'll fit right in with the Normandy crew. Shepard's pulling together quite the bunch for this mission."

"I doubt I'll even get to leave this part of the ship long enough to meet any of them."

"Well, lucky for you – you can do that right now!"

Before the Grey Warden could protest, Kasumi grabbed hold of her hand and dragged her back down the corridor towards the mess hall. In the time Elaine's antics had been going on, a small group had assembled at the table in the centre of the room. The woman, Miranda, Elaine thought she remembered correctly, the tall dark beauty, was speaking to man with a messy unkept stubble and rather thin and pasty complexion. Beside him sat a dark skinned man with muscles coiling and rolling beneath his silver and black uniform. Next to him was what Elaine had learned last night was a Salarian: tall thin creatures, with large eyes and mouths on a slim face. This one looked old with lines around said eyes and mouth, and one of the crest-horns atop his head was broken off. On the other side of the table with his back towards her was Garrus. Despite all the new faces, Elaine surprisingly felt a little calmer to see him there as Kasumi dragged her closer to the table.

"Shepard explicitly expressed his desire to set the course for Illium, Joker," Miranda said reproachfully to the man with the stubble and the strange-hats this world sported. "I suggest you go and get us there."

"Alright, alright, let me at least get a little bite first," said the man – Joker – with a gesture to his plate of mashed food Elaine couldn't quite identify.

"He can stay right there!" Kasumi nodded, earning everyone's attention. With a yank on Elaine's hand she thrust the woman closer to the group. "I want you all to meet Elaine Cousland!"

Elaine could've sworn her cheeks heated like a volcano as she withstood their stares at her. Joker and the dark-skinned man almost had their mouths hanging open as they looked her up and down. The Salarian cocked his head and studied her just as intently, but Elaine gathered not for the same reasons. Miranda looked down her nose at her, eyes narrowed with scrutiny. Elaine gulped as the silence stretched on. Andraste's flaming knickers! Why was she always put in such awkward situations? She never knew what to do!

Finally, it seemed Garrus was the only one to take pity on her. He looked at those also sat at the table, and shook his head with an exasperated sigh. "Come on, guys. She's not a Reaper, for crying out loud."

Joker whistled. "If they made them like _that_ , I'd have to defect."

Miranda gave him a shrewd look. "Don't make me break your shin with a good kick."

"What? Jealous, Ice Queen?" the man chortled.

"Damn…" rumbled the dark-skinned man. "Commander sure knows how to pick 'em…"

"I assure you, Jacob, we did not _pick her_." Miranda corrected, not bothering to hide her contempt. Elaine got over her shyness in that moment in order to focus on the obvious hostility brewing within the other woman. But Miranda ignored her. "Professor Solus, this is the one the Commander was informing you about."

"Indeed. Received various test results from Chakwas. Nothing in depth. Will need own analysis." The Salarian – Solus, Miranda had called him – spoke so fast Elaine had to struggle to keep up with him. "Shepard expressed concerns over mental stability. Disorientation, lack of memory function, regressive use of technology. Subject mental function seems normal. Normal behavioural displays common for humans. Will need more tests. More data."

"And that, is the ever socially graceful Professor Mordin Solus," Kasumi sighed with an apologetic smile for Elaine. "Don't worry, his whole rambling-thing creeps everyone out. It's the method to his genius – also his madness."

"Yeah, don't mind him." said Jacob. He stood and reached across the table to offer his hand to her. "Hi, I'm Jacob Taylor."

Elaine reached out to him and grasped his hand firmly. "A pleasure."

"Err, hey? No one gonna introduce the cripple? Great guys, guess I know how PC you all are." Joker waved his arm about until attention was finally drawn to him. When he finally had Elaine's gaze, her smiled brightly with a bat of his eyelashes, though his voice was sarcastic. "I'm Joker, by the way, in case anyone was wondering. I'm the pilot – nothing important that needs an introduction, all I do is just fly the damn ship."

Miranda crossed her arms. "Which perhaps you should get back to."

"Come on, Miranda," said Garrus as he speared a fork full of a strange purple meat off his plate. "Let him have a little R&R."

Joker pointed to the turian. "See! Garrus gets it!"

"That's an order, Joker," Miranda snapped. "I won't have delicate matters discussed in our present company."

"Excuse me?" Elaine growled out, eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. "Does there seem to be a problem here, Miranda?"

Finally, the dark-haired woman gave Elaine her full attention. "A problem? Aside from the fact that I don't trust a word that comes out of your mouth?"

"And why is that?"

"You honestly expect me to believe your some lost-soul who just happened to be on Horizon at the time of a Collector attack? I don't think so. You're a spy. Either for the Collectors or the Alliance, I don't care. But I intend to get to the bottom of it."

"You think I'm a spy?" Elaine demanded in outrage. "That's quite the assumption."

"I'm never wrong. And as soon as I find what I'm looking for, I'll boot you out the nearest airlock myself."

Elaine grinned ferally. It was like Morrigan back in the beginning. This one had more bite, but she clearly had no idea who she was dealing with. "Go ahead. Try it. I don't intend to make it easy for you."

From somewhere off, Elaine was reminded of the others around them when she heard Joker whisper loudly: "Anyone filming this? It's not just me who thinks it's hot, right?"

Miranda scowled, turned on her heel and stormed away back to her office. The door closed right behind her and the little floating box glowed immediately red. Elaine rolled her eyes and stalked back towards Kasumi's side. As she passed Garrus, she felt his talons grasp hold of her wrist. Her gaze shot down to find his eyes on her face.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

Heat prickled beneath where he touched her, even through the fabric. Just like she had been the previous evening, she was touched by his want to calm her, comfort her, even when she probably didn't deserve it. "Y-Yes. I am. Thank you."

He released her and Elaine made it back to Kasumi, who was smiling. "I've never seen anyone stand up to Miranda like that – except for Jack, but that's more out of pending violence then tact."

"Yeah, I'm just gonna say again," pointed out Joker, "that was totally hot. Please do it a lot more."

"You better get back up there, Joker," Jacob murmured. "Miranda'll really gut you if you leave it off too long."

"Let him eat," Elaine said as she pulled out a chair beside Garrus, Kasumi sitting on her other side. "EDI told me she can navigate this ship, I'm sure our – pilot, is it? – can leave it to her capable hands."

There was a long silence. Everyong else at the table looked at Joker, who'd gone stiff. And then suddenly, he was standing and hobbling away from the table. "Okay, no way am I letting that thing fly my ship."

They watched him leave, limping his way around the corner towards the elevator. Elaine found herself wondering why he didn't walk correctly. She remembered him mentioning he was crippled, but how? It was something she would have to investigate later. She was pulled from her thoughts when Garrus turned to look at her, one of his mandibles pulled back to display his sharp teeth – Elaine didn't think it was an aggressive gesture. In fact, it looked a little like a lop-sided smirk.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?" he asked, amused.

"I did nothing of the sort." She retorted. "Why do they call him 'Joker'? I didn't find anything he said funny. And how can a ship fly? I thought it sailed the stars."

Jacob's hand filled with a spoon full of soup stopped half way to his mouth. He looked from her to Garrus and back again. "She serious?"

"Technically, we are flying…" Garrus conceded to her, ignoring the looks he and Elaine were being given. She appreciated his honour in keeping their little bargain from the previous evening. It made her feel better about asking him questions, knowing he would not mock her in giving answers. "We just call it a ship because of tradition, our militaries are called navies. And it's also short for 'starship'."

"Oh. Now I understand. Thank you, Garrus."

Jacob looked a little thoughtful as he watched. "Didn't realise you two were on a first name basis."

"It's nothing." Elaine shrugged. "Garrus simply prevented me last night from murdering your Commander."

Kasumi choked on a drink she'd swallowed. "I hope for your sake that's not literal! What did Shepard do to you?"

"Aside from take my weapons and armour and is currently incarcerating me?"

Jacob hummed, nodding his head in approval. "Man Elaine, I gotta say, your weapons are seriously on the next level. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. That blade could cut a hole through the hull if we're not careful."

"I got a look at it." Kasumi nodded. "That thing would fetch a decent price in some circles."

"How? I've kept the armoury locked up tight unless I'm in it!"

"Every woman keeps her mysteries, _Jaaaacob."_ The thief practically purred out his name.

Elaine decided to explain and draw Jacob's somewhat shifting attention back to her. "Starfang was especially forged for me, made from the metal we found from fallen star. In the hands of a beginner, the sword could be deadly. But when one knows how to wield it…"

"I saw." Garrus nodded. "On Horizon, I watched you fight the Collectors. It was impressive – unlike anything I've ever seen."

A smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "I didn't realise I had an audience, Ser Garrus."

"Little else to do but watch a battle through the scope." At her curious look, he elaborated. "I'm a sniper, I specialise in shooting people from long-range."

Kasumi nodded. "And the best of the best, to hear Shepard say it."

"Ah," Elaine's blue eyes lit up when her a stray thought was confirmed. "So it _was_ you who killed that Collector behind me."

Garrus's mandibles fluttered in what Elaine guessed was a small smirk. "Guilty as charged."

She turned eagerly back to the others, desperate to learn more. "What are you, Jacob?"

"I'm a biotic. I like to pull my enemies apart – plus I'm a hell of a weapons expert."

"You are a mage, then?"

The human male faltered. "What?"

Professor Solus finally spoke up. "Term 'Mage', abbreviated term for magician? Magic user, wizard, witchcraft? Said in a way expecting answer. Deduction believed normal. Deep seated belief – instructed multiple times from multiple sources. Not simple individual neurological regression: societal. Not possible to have this level of regression after so much advancement amongst rest of species, though."

Elaine's mouth pressed into a hard line. "If I am incorrect, then tell me what a ' _by-ot-ick_ ' actually is."

"Biotics individuals exposed to element zero, usually from within the womb. Able to express manipulation over dark energy. Results in ability to effect matter by pulling and pushing objects, creating barriers, manipulate gravity, etc."

"So if someone were to tell you that they could move objects without touching them, wouldn't that sound to you like magic?"

Garrus shrugged. "Fair point…"

"Yeah, for the dark ages." Jacob snorted.

"Come on, Jacob," the turian lightly scolded. "Let her adjust a little to everything."

"Hey, I got nothing against crazy. This whole mission is crazy on some level. So long as she's not Jack-level, I'm all good with it. Could always use another gun on our side – so to speak."

"Well then," Elaine sighed. "Let's hope your Commander will change his mind about keeping me confined to this ship. I can't kill any of the Collectors stuck here."

"Don't worry, I'm sure Shepard will come around."

"Shepard's a man of action." Garrus corrected. He swivelled in his seat so as to fully face Elaine as much as his backwards bent legs would allow. "You want him to change his mind? You've got to show him. Prove your worth and he'll put you to good use."

Jacob's voice sounded far away as ideas and thoughts began to race through Elaine's mind. "How do you know that?"

Garrus's sky-blue eyes drifted from Elaine's briefly. "It's how Shepard taught me to be. It's how I operated with my own team."

"You know what, Garrus?" a cunning look spread across the blonde's face, a toothy grin that even a dragon might've known meant trouble was coming. "I just think you might be right…"

* * *

 **A/N: Nice long chapter for you guys! I hope you like it.**

 **I've recently gotten into the start of a new series "Outlander", about a woman lost in time - sound familiar? So I'm taking a little inspiration from that currently as well.**

 **Also, please don't think I hate Miranda! I don't! And this story won't be all Miranda-bashing or anyone-bashing. I just know that not everyone is going to like Elaine, they're going to have their suspicions of her, and I think its a good way to mix up the dynamics. I promise, for every character I'm making look like an asshole right now, I promise they will get their redeeming moments. This is just how they're being presented to Elaine and how she believes they're behaving. We will get more insight into this as their character arcs progress through the story, I promise.**

 ***this is a reference to one Garrus/femshep fanfiction that I absolutely adore - it was the first Mass Effect fanfiction I ever read. It's called "Where Angles Fear to Tread". Please read it, it's awesome and sweet.**

 **Please review! I live for all feedback!**


	5. The Escapee

Two days were taken to reach the port known as Illium. Elaine had watched through the window of the observation suite as they docked in a gleaming city of metal and glass. Honestly, it had taken everything within the Warden to stop her jaw hanging open. Such grandeur, such gleaming and sleek lines across the city skyline, it was unmatched by anything she'd ever witnessed. Not even the dwarves of Orzammar, or the ancient elves could match such beauty carved into architecture. Instantly, she wanted to explore it, to see it and touch it to be sure it was all real.

But Shepard's orders forbade it. He was here to resupply the ship and to recruit two new crew members. An assassin and a Justicar. Elaine wasn't familiar with the second title, but she knew the first well enough. The whole ship was abuzz with talk of what the two new crewmates might be like. Elaine had heard Kasumi and Kelly's fawning excitement, Jacob's disdain, and Chakwas's professional outlook. But Elaine wanted to go out there and find her own opinion. Shepard wanted her to learn about this new world she found herself in, but his own orders impeded her from doing that very thing.

The Grey Warden smiled to herself. Since when had something so simple as orders ever stopped her before?

Just a few hours before they'd reached the gleaming city, Elaine had turned to the master thief. In the days since they'd met, Elaine had spent most of her time with Kasumi, and could safely say the two were becoming fast friends. The little woman reminded her of Zevran, in a way; her flirtatious banter and witty charm made it almost too easy to get along with her. That wasn't to say she hadn't been getting along with other members of the crew. She and Jacob liked to talk about weapons and fighting styles, which mostly consisted of him attempting to teach her how guns work so she might more appreciate it. She and Joker always chatted away at meal times, in a way, he reminded her of Fergus – except for his brittle bones, which she eventually squeezed Kelly into telling her. Fergus had never been that delicate, but in some ways Joker more than made up for it. He did not allow his disease to rule him, he acted like any other man, and for that Elaine already respected him a great deal. Garrus was only a little awkward with her now. They were past formalities at least, Elaine felt as if those sky-blue eyes were trustworthy, and she wanted to make an effort to be friends with him after she had acted so poorly at their first meeting.

And then she'd met Jack and Zaeed. That had been interesting.

It had only been yesterday, when the pair of humans had arisen from the bowels of the ship for food. Elaine had been finishing her own meal at that time when she'd spotted the new faces. Jack had garnered her horrified shock when Elaine realised that woman was almost _nude!_ The woman was covered in tattoos so intricately packed together, Elaine had mistaken them for clothes at first. When she realised the woman wore barely little more than slight coverings for her breasts, the Warden had turned beetroot-red and avoided looking at her. So her eyes had settled on the scarred face of the older man. There in his eyes was the look of an old soldier, a veteran, a man who had seen it all and still walked. She had thought she could respect him, but when she had introduced herself to the two strangers, the pair of them had looked at her as if she were shit under their noses. Zaeed swore worse than a Navaran sailor, growling at her to get the hell out of his face. Jack had called her a ' _princess'_ as if the title were something grotesque, and hadn't cared for when Elaine had stoically corrected her. The pair had slunk away not long after that, and Elaine decided that she wouldn't go out of her way to speak with them at all.

But out of all her new companions, it was Kasumi who would be most useful in her latest scheme. Really, Elaine had to thank Garrus for the stroke of genius he'd given her. Shepard was a man of action? She would show him exactly how much a woman of action _she_ was. Kasumi was going to help her escae the ship. Though the thief was reluctant to incur the commander's wrath, all Elaine had needed to say was four simple words: "Pretend your stealing me."

Despite herself, Kasumi had smiled. "Though I'm usually not into the trade of the flesh… I _am_ starting to love how your mind works, Miss Cousland."

And so they'd planned it all perfectly. They waited until the ship docked and Shepard had left to recruit his assassin first, with Garrus and Jack in tow. With him gone, the women set about the perfect opportunity. Kasumi did her best to screw with the ship's camera feeds so EDI wouldn't get onto them so fast. They waited until the ship was a hive of activity as goods were being traded back and forth down in the cargo hold. Then, Kasumi did her little disappearing act, and by simply grasping hold of Elaine's wrist, the pair of them became invisible and stalked unnoticed through the ship.

Some part of Elaine did feel a little guilty as she and Kasumi snuck into the elevator with a group of workers and took it down to the cargo bay. Shepard had come to her that very morning, returning her armour and weapons to her, perhaps as a sign of good faith. He hadn't said much, but he wasn't his usual brash or domineering self. Elaine had silently sent a thanks to the Maker, but most of all to Garrus, as she lovingly caressed the sheath of her blade. No doubt the turian had talked some sense into his commander, just like he said he would. For the first time in days, the Warden had felt whole once more. And now she was taking that faith and using it for her own advantage. Her mother would certainly disapprove. But she shook the thought from her head whilst trying to keep her armour as quiet as possible. This was the only way she could get what she wanted. The only way to show Shepard she wasn't a liability – or that she would be held a prisoner.

When they came into the cargo bay, Kasumi relinquished the invisibility spell. There was so much activity, with bodies and boxes coming and going and the bay doors wide open, no one would pay them much attention. And in truth, they didn't. Everyone was so busy tending to their own chores, they paid little attention to anyone else. Elaine and Kasumi strolled confidently out towards the bright sunlight beyond.

Until a massive shadow eclipsed them.

A flat faced creature with a jutting lower jaw and piercing bright blue eyes glared at them. Grey plates covered its orange scaled head, before disappearing into a large humped back. Silver armour covered the torso, yet left huge muscular arms bare. Stocky legs on three toed feet held the creature upright so that it was as tall as Elaine. The Grey Warden was so startled by such a fearsome image coming so close so suddenly, she took a step back and pushed Kasumi behind her, hand reaching up for her sword. The closest thing she could think to describe the thing in front of her was perhaps some form of dragon… and that imagery wasn't helped when it peeled back its lips to reveal its teeth and growled at her.

"I see you met our resident baby Krogan, Grunt." Came Kasumi's sweet voice. Elaine felt the thief's little hands pat her wrist reassuringly but firmly, a silent command to stand down. Reluctantly, Elaine did so, though her eyes never left the creature before her. This was a _baby?_ She decided she didn't want to see what a fully grown one would look like. Kasumi stepped around Elaine and smiled at the Krogan. "Grunt, this Elaine – no eating her!"

"This is the human female Garrus was crowing about?" Grunt murmured with an impossibly deep voice. His eyes scrutinised Elaine, hovering over her sword at her back and her clenched fists. "Doesn't look like much of a fighter…"

"Never judge an opponent based on how they appear. They might surprise you." Elaine said, though there was no threat in her voice. She wasn't stupid enough to try and goad a fight with this one, at least not when she knew so little about it. That had been her mistake when fighting Flemeth – when she'd almost gotten her entire team killed. They'd barely managed to win their lives once the witch laid dead. So Elaine decided she would try and be on her best behaviour; she offered Grunt an appreciative smile. "Though I shall admit: I hadn't thought to take on a dragon-spawn in this place."

Grunt cocked his head, perplexed. "I don't know that word… _draag-on…_ "

Kasumi gave a little giggle. "Look it up on the extra-net, sweetie."

"You're taking her out of the ship?" the Krogan grunted as he turned his gaze back on the master thief.

"Won't be a problem, right big guy? Just pretend you never saw us."

"You defy Shepard." Grunt shrugged and hefted a huge metal crate onto his massive shoulders with ease. He walked straight past them, a clear dismissal. "It's your funeral."

Elaine watched him leave, a little wary. But Kasumi quickly pulled her along and they were walking out of the ship through the cargo-bay ramp. When they stepped into the light, at first, it was blinding. It took Elaine's eyes a moment to adjust to the brightness, but when she did, she then found it hard to keep in the breath in her lungs.

If she'd thought the sleek city was beautiful from the ship, it was stunning to witness in the flesh. The great towers rose into the sky all around her, reflecting the sun until it all shone nearly too bright to bear. Light glittered in far off windows – so many windows! Flying carriages sang their songs noisily as they zipped about the sky between the great many towers. Glass and metal were everywhere, in the streets and balconies that looked down onto endless depths. And then there were the people! Elaine had never seen so many different faces in all her life. She recognised the forms of humans, but they were few and far in between. Instead she saw blue, pink and purple women with tentacle-like crests that passed for hair. Huge behemoth-like people, bigger versions of Grunt with larger head-plates. Turians like Garrus with many different shades of plates and beautifully intricate facial markings. Or Salarians like Professor Solus. And there were even fat little dwarfs in suits waddling about! If the Warden had once thought Denerim had been crowded with a bazar of peoples, it paled in stark comparison to this. Elaine couldn't help but stagger and spin as she walked, her eyes unable to be taken away from everything around her. By the Maker, it was far too spectacular to fully comprehend.

A hand urgently tugged on her arm. Almost in a trance, Elaine looked down sweetly to find Kasumi trying to urge her on. Realising where she was, the Warden looked about. They were walking down a street, but many people they passed were pausing to stare at them, specifically at Elaine. The woman's cheeks turned bright red as she caught sight of so many people gawking at her. She wondered why they would. Did she still have food on her face from when she broke her fast? Was her hair a mess? Had she accidentally done something rude in her staring? Suddenly feeling self-conscious, she hurried after Kasumi. Thankfully, the staring crowds seemed to lose interest once she'd left their sights.

The thief and warden strolled down the many streets, one explaining everything to the other nonchalantly. And for the most part, Elaine attempted to keep up with all that Kasumi told her. It wasn't until they came to some new form of district that she began to have trouble. Kasumi called it the market, but if it was, it was nothing like Elaine recognised. There were no stalls, she could see no items or wares, there were no merchants shouting and haggling. It was only a bunch of people stood around circular tables staring at pictures and pushing buttons. Kasumi pulled them both over towards an empty stall, and brought up what she called an ' _interface'_. Elaine was confused, for the entire set up looked nothing like a face to her in any way. She wished to ask, to not feel like an idiot, but Kasumi was so engrossed and moving too fast over the images, that Elaine fell silent.

Kasumi was positively thrilled to partake with Elaine in what she called 'good-old-girly-shopping'. In this respect, Elaine realised that Kasumi reminded her more of Leliana than Zevran. The bard had adored the art of fashion, had gushed over all the new Orlesian styles with Elaine, and proclaimed her woes at the horridness of the Ferelden equivalent. Elaine once admitted that she had a secret adoration for shoes, pretty girly shoes that made her legs look nice, and Leliana had squealed like a little girl with excitement. However, all of the other intricacies of fashion was completely lost on the Warden, as Kasumi soon found out.

Elaine soon got the rough idea about what was happening: Kasumi would flick through pictures of items of clothing and would dictate the size, colour and cloth she wanted, pay for it (how, Elaine didn't know for there was no exchange of coins involved) and then apparently the item would be sent to the Normandy. Kasumi showed off the items she most liked, and Elaine soon realised that Kasumi was shopping for her Warden-friend and not herself. Kasumi claimed that Elaine couldn't run around the Normandy in her armour or Chakwas's borrowed uniforms forever, and needed 'a look' all her own. Elaine however, was less than enthusiastic. All the items Kasumi picked out for her were either too impractical or simply too scandalous, as her mother would say. One dress showed far too much cleavage for her liking and borderline revealed the bottom of her unmentionables – it was that short! She point blank refused it, to which Kasumi pouted for the next half an hour. They did manage to come to an agreement on some items, though the thief grumbled that she would need to find the right accessories in order to make Elaine's boring choices appear more appealing.

"Kasumi?" Elaine asked some time later when the pair of them had come into a more… _odd_ section of the 'store'. "What in the Maker's name is _this_?" She pointed to the picture of a lacy white garment with straps presumably for the shoulders and hooks at the back. Two domes on the front were almost see through where the swirling lace would daintily cover flesh. No matter how she tried to work it out, Elaine couldn't understand what the item would be useful for.

The thief looked from the console to her blonde friend, a naughty grin spreading across her small mouth. "It's a bra, honey. You know," she couldn't stop herself from giggling as she leant in closer and whispered, "for your breasts."

Elaine blanched at that, and threw Kasumi an incredulous look. "Do you not just bind them flat?"

"God, no! Where's the comfort in that?" Kasumi looked genuinely horrified at the suggestion. Then something pinged on the device and her gaze lit up. "Oh look! They got a matching set of panties!"

"What does that mean?"

"It's underwear, for you… under area?"

It was Elaine's turn to look mortified as she stared, mouth gaping open between Kasumi and the picture on the screen. "B-b-but… how?! Look at that thing! It's only a piece of string on one side! My arse would eat it!"

Kasumi burst out laughing so loud, other shoppers glanced their way. When the thief finally seemed to gain control of herself and wiped her eyes, she shook her head, muttering something to herself with a cunning smile and returned to the console. Elaine didn't entirely trust that look, and went to question her friend's motives, but something caught her eye.

Two blue women walked past, what Elaine remembered from her research as being called Asari. They were dressed in deep blue and black identical uniforms, with guns strapped to their backs and hips. In the way they held themselves with such rigidness, with their spines straight and set of their shoulders ready for anything, Elaine recognised authorities, perhaps city guards. It was the slight militaristic way they presented themselves which was half casual and not nearly as prominent as the appearance of true soldiers. Yet it was the somewhat anxious looks on their faces that caught Elaine's attention, and had her straining to listen to their conversation as they walked past.

"I'm telling you!" said one of the women in a hushed tone. "She was as far away from me as you are now! A Justicar! In our port!"

"What would a Justicar be doing here?" the other asked in a slightly deeper voice.

"All I know, she was at that Volus crime-scene. Detective Anaya wants us to bring her in, in case she blows. She wants us up there now."

The second woman cursed under her breath. "Shit! What the hell she doing out of Asari space? I'm telling you, the crazy zealot is gonna get us all killed!"

Elaine's eyes narrowed as the two guards walked away. A Justicar… wasn't that one of the two companions Shepard was here to recruit? From the sounds of it, if these guards imprisoned her, Shepard would arrive too late. And wasn't Elaine out here in order to prove herself capable to the Commander? She glanced back at Kasumi, who was still engrossed in the shopping console, completely oblivious that Elaine's focus had been drawn away. Feeling a little guilty, Elaine decided to step away. She hated leaving the friendly woman behind with no explanation but she didn't want Kasumi to get in trouble should this not go as planned.

So with quiet footsteps, Elaine disengaged from Kasumi, and followed the two guards.

* * *

"Survival odds do not concern me. The abduction of your colonists does."

Green scaled eyelids slid over eyes as black as pitch in rapid succession. Shepard watched, almost in fascination as this strange being moved in front of him. Drell were uncommon, but Shepard had still seen a few in his time, so it wasn't the whole meet-a-new-species kind of stare. No, Thane Krios has some form of magnetism in the very air around him. The way he walked was almost a dance in itself. Usually Shepard didn't really care for the pretty descriptions, but with this it was different. He'd watched Thane kill the Asari woman. He was quick and to the point yet delicate and precise in his actions. I was as if he could see everything happening around him in slow motion, and he was the only one acting quick enough to kill you before you could blink. There was something about that kind of aura that demanded attention. And Shepard always listened to his gut.

Yet still, he didn't quite understand. After everything Thane had just told him, it didn't seem to make sense to the Spectre. "Not to look a gift assassin in the mouth, but why do human colonies concern you?"

"They are innocents, yes? Like all victims of the Collectors. The universe is a dark place. I'm trying to make it brighter before I die." Thane's voice was like gravel, a reverb that sounded both grating yet lulling simultaneously. The drell turned his large black eyes onto Shepard, the two sets of lids blinking rapidly with thought. And then he looked down, almost mournfully. "Many innocents died today. I wasn't fast enough, and they suffered. I must atone for that. I will work for you, Shepard. No charge."

Shepard shook Thane's hand with a nod. "Then welcome aboard, Thane."

And just like that, Shepard turned and led the way out. He turned off the curiosity, pushed aside all the burning emotions in the pit of his stomach. It was two years too late, time to move on. Shepard thought it would be easier to do, he'd been doing it since he'd woken up. But it never got easy to refuse the human side of him that longed for friendship for social interaction of any description that wasn't formal. But he wouldn't worry over Thane, refused to care about Jack's little psycho problems, or even look up Zaeed's old vendetta contract. It was too much risk. Shepard had done it once before, had gotten invested in his crew, looked into their problems, treated them like family. And then it had all gone to shit.

He'd woken up after being two years dead. The world and his friends had moved on, but he hadn't. To him it had only been a week since all his closest companions had been telling him they didn't want to be anywhere but at his side. And then he'd seen the fear on Tali's face, and it had cut him straight to the bone. Kaidan had actually called him a traitor, a man who he'd looked to like a little brother. Yes, Garrus had welcomed him back, but then Shepard had almost gotten him killed and couldn't stand to think if his turian friend resented him like the others. And Liara…

The Spectre screwed his eyes shut as he angrily tried to get Liara's face out of his mind. He'd only been in her office a few hours ago, but it wasn't long enough to keep those eyes away. When he'd heard she was on Illium, he'd practically ran the stairs two at a time to find her. But she was cold, distant, she barely said more than two words to him that weren't strictly professional. As far as Shepard was concerned, she'd made it very clear where they stood. And that was what hurt the most. It drove home the point that he, Commander Shepard, was on a suicide mission, where no one expected him to come back. Though he was going to try his hardest to survive this, he knew he couldn't expect to come out with no casualties. It was why he refused to invest in this crew, because any one of them could die at any time on this mission. Or they wouldn't, and then they'd leave and move on just like before. Now he understood why Spectres worked alone.

" _Shepard?"_ EDI's voice broke over his comm. _"_ _There is an anomaly I wish to report…"_

Shaking his head back to the present, Shepard reached up to his earpiece. "What is it, EDI?"

 _"_ _I have only just discovered that someone has been feeding junk data to my cameras on board the ship. I am currently working to recover the original feed."_

Shepard stopped, brows furrowing incredulously. "Are you serious? How could you not notice something like this?!"

 _"_ _I was aware the entire time, Shepard. However, my primary focus was on helping to relay information to you in order to help with your mission. As well as sort through all the shipping manifestoes for the resupply."_

"Okay, so who's our spy?"

 _"_ _You misunderstand, Shepard. There is no spy. I wanted to report that Lady Elaine Cousland has snuck her way off this ship via the cargo bay."_

"She WHAT?!" Shepard roared. Fury danced along his veins and the cybernetic scars across his cheek throbbed painfully. He took a deep breath, but couldn't stop himself from growling out. "I'm gonna kill her! EDI, find her!"

 _"_ _I've been monitoring reports and security systems throughout the port."_ The AI replied smoothly. _"_ _Elaine was spotted in the shopping district before changing course to head to the docking bays."_

"Why would she go there?"

 _"_ _It appears she is going off Mr Vakarian's advice to appeal to you, Commander, as a 'man-of-action'."_

Shepard whirled around onto the Turian at his six, eyes blazing. Great! So now he had to deal with mutiny from someone he'd once thought was his best friend?! Garrus saw his fury coming, and quickly held up his hands in surrender. "Hey! Don't look at me, I didn't tell her to sneak out!"

EDI cut in once more. _"_ _Shepard, I'm getting new reports… Samara, the Justicar, has been reportedly attacking Eclipse mercs in the docking bays. Shepard, I believe Elaine intends to go after her."_

Garrus's mandibles went slack with shock. "Okay, I _**definitely**_ didn't tell her to go _that_ far!"

Shepard growled and turned to Jack and the Drell. "Take Thane back to the ship. Now." He turned back to Garrus and almost shoved him in the direction they needed to go before he broke into a run close behind. "You are coming with me to clean up the mess you made! Let's move!"

* * *

Elaine had found her way towards what everyone else had called the 'crime-scene'. Sneaking past was easy enough, as most of the city guards were busy fretting over the presence of the Justicar. The Grey Warden had made her way through the back alleys, and had come across not only the murder scene, but also the mercenaries. With all of them sprouting guns, Elaine knew she had to tread carefully. The element of surprise was her best option, and then she needed as much speed as possible to get her through. She fought the thugs that called themselves 'Eclipse' in small pockets at a time. They went down easy enough, not prepared for an attack up close and personal like hers.

Working her way further in, Elaine followed the sounds of battle. If the Justicar was anywhere here amongst these criminals, she might require aid. If not, she could definitely use the help when the authorities arrived. With time of the essence, she hurriedly opened her way into the next room.

A body screamed and slammed into the wall next to her, the cry cut short with a sickening crack. Elaine readied herself for battle, but did not need to. On the balcony above, two figures were all that remained standing. One was a purple Asari in the uniform Elaine had come to recognise as part of the Eclipse group. The other was also Asari, but draped in red and gold armour that looked both formidable and sensual. Without a doubt, it had to be the Justicar. She walked like a noblewoman, all grace and poise, yet her body was surrounded in blue electrical magic. Her pale eyes were cold and distant as they remained fixated on the limping Eclipse.

Realising how helpless she was, the Eclipse Asari looked about as her fallen comrades in fear. "Those were my best troops…"

"Tell me what I need to know, and I will be gone from here." Came the calm and melodious voice of the Justicar, that reminded Elaine of the calm serenity of a Chantry Grand Cleric. "Where did you send her?"

"You think I'd betray her?" The Eclipse asked as if the very thought was insane. "She would hurt me in ways you can't imagine!"

"The name of the ship. Your life hangs on the answer, Lieutenant."

"You can kill me, but one of us will take you down, Justicar!" The Eclipse declared, raising her gun.

Before she could fire, the Justicar swung her arm and her magic propelled the lieutenant to smash through the glass behind her and into a stack of crates on the other side of the room. Elaine almost winced, for she heard the protest of bones from the force and distance of the throw. But she was too entranced by the Justicar and the powerful magic she wielded. Surely the greatest magisters of the Imperium would give up all their slaves to have an inch of the power she made look so easy. The Justicar leapt after her prey, and the blue fire surrounded her once more, slowing her descent until she floated daintily to the ground.

The Eclipse tried to crawl away, but the Justicar pounced onto her. She held her still with her throat under the heel of her boot. Still, her voice was calm, not even out of breath. "What was the name of the ship she left on?"

Even when choking beneath the boot, the Eclipse still spat in defiance. "Go to hell!"

The Justicar sighed, something in her appearing a little disappointed. "Find peace in the embrace of the Goddess."

And then, her head snapped up and her eyes fixed on Elaine. For a moment, the human's fingers tightened on her sword, but then she forced herself to relax. The Justicar approached, all elegant steps with fluid gestures that would've made an Orlesian Queen jealous. "My name is Samara, a servant of the Justicar Code. My quarrel is with these Eclipse sisters, but I see a well-armed stranger before me… Are we friend? Or foe?"

The way she spoke, the language she used, Elaine could have mistakenly believed she hailed from her own world. But she was too blue, her appearance too alien, so the fantasy was dashed. Instead, the Grey Warden focused herself on reality.

"I am Elaine Cousland of the Grey Wardens," she said. "And I am here to help you."

"Help me?"

"I am with a man called Commander Shepard," Elaine explained. "He is on a quest to help save innocent lives from a race some know as: The Collectors. He is here to recruit members for this mission – and you are one of them. I learned that you were close and came to find you."

Samara nodded, her moon-like eyes somewhat thoughtful. "I sense the truth in what you say and it humbles me. But I seek an incredibly dangerous fugitive."

Elaine's over to the body of the thug, body twisted from a broken neck and spinal cord. "Would this be the same one you were interrogating information for from that Eclipse thug?"

"You do not blanch at my methods, yet your earnestness to help suggests you are good at heart. Why is this?"

"My order is rather infamous for fulfilling the objective no matter the cost. I might not like such methods, but so long as the end goal is right, I cannot comment on them when I myself have employed them as well to get what I want."

"You continue to surprise me Elaine with the truth that you speak. It shows more wisdom in you then many of your elders possess. Though I admit, I do not know of the order you speak of."

"I didn't think you would." The Warden muttered, just another reminder how out of place she was. With a slow exhale, she refocused and lifted her chin regally. "Will join our mission?"

"Would that I could. But I can't." Somehow, Samara looked a little regretful. She turned away to look upon the body she had slain, an ever so slight sneer betraying her lips. "The criminal I seek is far too great a risk to be allowed to live. I cornered her here, but these Eclipse sisters smuggled her off-world. I must find the name of the ship she left on before the trial goes cold."

"I wish you were willing to go with the human, Justicar." Said a voice. Elaine turned, hand almost at the ready to swing Starfang into action. But she stopped. Another Asari, this one a deep purple, stood some ways off. She wore the garments of the other city-guards, though her face was a little draw. "I've been given orders to take you into custody if you won't leave."

Samara turned her full attention to the stranger, her gaze appraising. "You risk a great deal by following your orders, Detective. Fortunately, I will not resist. My code obligates me to cooperate with you for one day. After that, I must return to my investigation."

"I won't be able to release you that soon…"

"You won't be able to stop me."

"Hold on." Elaine interceded loud enough to grab their attention without shouting. Her mind spun as an idea quickly spun itself into being. "What if there could be a compromise?"

The guard narrowed her small eyes on Elaine suspiciously. "And who are you supposed to be?"

"A neutral party." The human woman muttered. She turned fully to the purple Asari. " _Dee-teck-tive_?" she tried to say the strange word for which she did not know its meaning. "Your superiors wish for Samara to leave before she causes a diplomatic incident, yes? And Samara your code demands you cooperate with the authorities for one day only?"

Samara nodded. "That is correct, yes."

"Would knowing the name of the ship your prey left on be enough to satisfy you for now?"

"Indeed, I shall need it to track my quarry to her next hiding place."

Elaine nodded and stepped closer to the guard, eye contact held steady and firm, her voice oozing confidence and charisma. "Then Detective, have Samara be placed into _my_ custody. She and I will find the information she needs and then we shall both depart as quickly as possible. Within that day, I vow she will not harm any innocent bystander that could cause your diplomatic incident."

"That's not what I was ordered to do."

"With luck, Samara and I shall be gone long before your commanders realise you bent the rules. You can tell them it took you some time to find her and she left at your behest. It is better than dying when she attempts to break free from you, yes?"

The Detective scoffed. "And why should I take your word for it? I wasn't born yesterday, sweetie."

"Detective Anaya," Samara stepped forward, hand splayed out as if to settle a fight. "I vouch for Elaine, and any and all claims she might make."

Anaya paused, her brows furrowed with contemplation as her gaze darted between the two before her. In that entire time, Elaine did not look away, not once. The first rule of coercion, was to offer your target what they wanted to hear, but to convince them you are correct by being unwavering until they give in. Finally, Anaya sighed and nodded. "I can accept the judgement of the Justicar."

Elaine bowed her head and quickly turned on her heel to leave, Samara stalking proudly beside her. Despite the fact that Elaine had commanded the respect and obedience of all different peoples, despite her own fearsome reputation in battle, beside Samara she was reminded of how young she actually was. At twenty-four years of age, most other women her age back home would be married and be busy giving heirs to their husbands and family names. None would have lived through what she had, where it felt like she'd aged decades in the space of several months. But Samara felt ancient, yet the way she presented herself was filled with a beauty that came with age. Whilst Elaine could concede that Miranda was beautiful in the way that was very reminiscent of youth, Samara's prominent cheek bones, square jaw, and arch of her brows was all a fierce beauty that came with age. It was an older beauty that no preening maiden could ever hope to equal, no matter how hard she tried.

They rounded the corner in near silence, only the click of their boots to accompany them. Elaine didn't know where they would go first to find the ship's name, but she gathered that Samara had a few ideas. Before she could ask, they heard footsteps running down the hall towards them, quite a few pairs of them. Elaine instantly reached over her back and pulled Starfang free of its sheath. Were there more Eclipse coming to finish off what the others could not? Samara seemed to have the same idea, as he whole body became encased in blue fire.

Two bodies rounded the corner ahead, both Elaine recognised. Before Samara could unleash a magical blast, Elaine threw her arm in front of the Justicar to halt. Shepard and Garrus ran towards them, a little out of breath. They stopped four feet away, Garrus almost doubling over to catch his stamina back, but Shepard marched up to Elaine, seemingly uncaring that sweat was dripping off his brow.

"You!" he growled out between panting breaths. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm doing you a favour, Shepard." Elaine said cordially. She didn't want to antagonise the man now, not when she was so close to proving her point. Stepping aside, she gestured to the Asari stood behind her. "This is Samara of the Justicar order, you wished to recruit her for your mission, yes?"

As if he'd already guessed what she was doing, Shepard sent Elaine a disapproving scowl. "I gave you back your armour, your weapons – which you _begged_ me for – and this is the thanks I get?"

"I am grateful to you for that, Shepard, I am. But I cannot do _nothing_ with them! I am a warrior, first and foremost. And I only thought to help you in your quest – as I have now done so."

"That is not your call to make."

"She was about to be imprisoned by the city-guards. My arrival prevented that. Now we have a chance to get her out of this mess and back to your ship."

Samara stepped forward, her eyes travelling over Shepard's face with great study. "You are Commander Shepard?"

The Commander turned to the Justicar, his entire posture turning more formal. "I am. Have you been briefed on our mission?"

"Indeed. Elaine has explained to me that you seek to destroy the Collectors and require my help to do so. Before I can do that, however, I require the name of a ship a fugitive left on."

"You just need the ship name? That's all?" Samara nodded. Shepard seemed to think for a moment, and then nodded. He turned back to Elaine and poked her chest plate. "Right. You. Back to the ship."

"No." Elaine growled back, her own temper coming dangerously close to snapping. She was so close to her goal; she wouldn't go back to being locked up, not after all she'd seen today. This new world was too big and too much for her to miss it cooped up in a cell. Leaning back one leg, she crossed her arms and levelled a fierce stare at the Commander. "You dare try."

Shepard pushed all the authority he possessed into his low voice. "I am ordering you, Elaine, get back to the ship."

"That will not be possible." Came Samara's serene voice. Distracted, the two combating commanders turned to the Justicar, baffled. "I am specifically in Elaine's custody for the next solar day. And she has given her word that we will retrieve the ship name."

Elaine couldn't stop the ever-so-pleased smirk from creeping across her face and subjecting the commander to it. With just that one sentence, she had won. The Commander would now have no choice but to take her with him. Perhaps it was absurdly petty, perhaps it reminded her too much of how she and her brother would wind each other up when they were children.

With a lengthy sigh, the muscles in Shepard's cheek bunched with irritation. He knew he was beaten. His dark eyes were cool as he trained them on Elaine once more. "Fine. But you listen to my orders out here, do you get that? I will not have you endanger everyone else because you can't obey orders."

Elaine nodded her head deeply. "Understood."

* * *

Samara had told them that a Volus named Pitne For would have information on the Eclipse base, where the documents they sought would most likely be held. When the group had cornered the Volus, Elaine still believed that beneath the armour was a plump dwarf. The suit it wore even had long cloths beside its mouth-piece for where the hangings of a long moustache might be stored! All she needed was for it to swear or talk about the ancestors or the stone, and she would have all the proof she needed. But Pitne For did no such thing. Instead, he told them about how to get into the Eclipse base and tried to bribe them simultaneously. With time of the essence, however, the group ignored him and decided to head out towards the base in the lower parts of town.

When they arrived, they found heavy resistance. The Eclipse troops were there in force, and even Elaine struggled to make much progress when they fired on her so relentlessly. But even though it went against her instinct to lead the charge, she held back and did as Commander Shepard instructed. They all did. Garrus stayed towards the back of the group, using his long and powerful gun to shoot down enemies at a distance with a single shot. Samara and Shepard stayed around the middle and Shepard shot down enemies left and right as he switched between weapons, whilst the Justicar used her powerful magic to throw enemies all over the place. Between the three of them, they proved enough cover for Elaine to charge into the midst of the enemy and cause utter destruction amongst their ranks. Before long, she was splattered in blood that surprisingly beheld different shades.

They made their way further into the base, Shepard at the lead. When he told Elaine to break off and go around an enemy, she did so. When he instructed she stay back and only leap into action once the front lines had been cleared, she did so. She wanted to be more in the thick of the battles, but logic won out. There was only so many projectiles her runes could help deflect, and sooner or later one lucky strike might catch her. Play it smart, not brave, as her instructor used to tell her.

At one point however, as they carefully moved through the building, Elaine couldn't stand the silence much more. There had been a few words of banter between the group, so she knew they were not forbidden to speak.

Glancing at Shepard, the Warden modified her step so as to walk beside Samara. "Can you tell me more about Justicars?"

"We are individuals who have foresworn family, children, and worldly possessions aside from some weapons and armour." Samara explained without hesitation. "We travel Asari space righting wrongs, as defined by the ancient code we have each memorised."

Behind them, Garrus grunted. "Yeah, Illium might be dominated by Asari but it isn't in Asari space."

"My quarry fled to this place. I am sworn to hunt her down, and I will follow anywhere she goes. It is rare for a Justicar to leave Asari space, but I must follow my oath. If I suffer for it, I will accept that."

"This code seems quite strict." Elaine murmured thoughtfully.

"It may seem so to you, but this is my oath. The expedient path may be fast and simple; that does not make it the right path." Those moon-like eyes flittered to Elaine's face, the expression inside of them telling how Samar seemed to know that Elaine knew of this truth already. "I answer to a code that is clearly defined. If my actions are true to that code, I am just. If they are not, I am unjust. I don't pretend it is a simple matter, or that it seems right to everyone. But I sleep well at night, and that is more than most can say."

The Grey Warden nodded to herself. In truth, Samara's words rang inside her mind, but something about the ethics of it still bothered her, though she couldn't say specifically why, or how to improve it. Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt a hand clasp hold of her arm. She spun, ready to fight, only to find Garrus there and dragging her backwards towards him until she walked beside him instead. He slowed their pace so that Shepard and Samara might pull ahead without the pair getting noticeably too far.

The turian leaned into her to whisper. "When I said get his attention, I didn't quite mean this."

"It's working, isn't it?" she whispered back.

"Yes, but next time don't get me in trouble too."

"Come on, Garrus. How can you take a spanking from me when I take the most kills, if you can't take a spanking from Shepard?"

Garrus actually nearly choked as he snapped his face around to look at her. When he saw her slight grin, his mandibles slowly parted in what she assumed was a returning grin. "Wait, was that a joke?"

"Look at that," her armoured fist came up to lightly pound his shoulder. "He catches on fast."

From the light in his eyes, there was no denying that Garrus was really grinning down at her now. "Okay tough girl, you're on. Remember though: Wasea kill gets double."

They moved further into the heart of the base, until they eventually found what Elaine could only describe as a drunken Volus. The adorable thing hilariously rambled on about how it was a 'biotic god' and how he could 'smell his greatness'. Personally, the only thing Elaine could smell was gone-off body sweat. But the Volus did manage to give them some information about the layout of the next room, and how Wasea, the leader of the Eclipse mercenaries was prepared for them. When they finally entered, the Asari immediately unleashed her magical abilities onto them, throwing crates of red powder that EDI had previously warned them was toxic if breathed in. As soon as the fighting broke out, more Eclipse troops came storming into the room, and everything went to hell very fast.

Samara fought Wasea, magic against magic. Garrus stayed close to the back of the room and ducked behind desks. Elaine was mostly focused on taking out specific Eclipse troops that had strange guns that fired chunky projectiles that exploded on impact. These devices were trained mostly on Shepard, but some tried to take out Garrus before he could snipe them. Elaine made it her mission to not give them the chance.

Shield raised to cover her head, Elaine charged. She felt the bullets ping off of her shield and then be deflected by her runes. Closing in, the Warden suddenly leapt to the right, her foot braised against the wall and pushed her backwards down towards her first foe. Swinging her shield-arm, she smashed it into the head of an Eclipse soldier, and heard a satisfying _crunch_. Others turned to point their weapons at her, but before they could fire a shot, Elaine hooked her leg underneath a nearby table, and flipped it up to fly into three other soldiers and crush them against the wall. She dashed forward and punched her shield into one Eclipse merc on her left, whilst her right hand reached out to grab the gun muzzle of the soldier on her right just before her shield point struck his face.

Holding up the body as a second shield, she moved forward towards a hunkered group in the corner. Their bullets impacted the sac of meat she held but did not penetrate her. Tossing it aside, she reached for Starfang, and the blade slid free with a loud metallic song for blood. Shield raised to deflect a hail of bullets, she ducked and sliced a Salarian almost in half on her right. Sliding on her bent leg across the floor, Elaine took out the hamstrings of an Asari, watching the alien woman crumple with a cry of pain before the Warden silenced it with a stab to the throat.

Her last enemy stood paralysed for a moment, before bringing up his small gun towards her blood-splattered face. Before his finger could fire, his head promptly exploded.

Elaine glared towards the back of the room. "No fair! That one was mine!"

"Then better hurry up, slow-poke." Garrus called back. "I'm at twelve already."

"Only twelve? I'm at fourteen."

A pause, then: "Shit." And then she heard the thunder of his rifle. "Two with one shot! Fourteen!"

Elaine laughed, a full throw-your-head-back, bellyful of laughter that –

 _BANG!_ Pain exploded through her thigh, and Elaine yelled as her leg threatened to crumble. She grit her teeth and forced the pain away. Somewhere in her mind, she heard Shepard and Garrus call out her name, but she ignored it. Her blood was pounding in her ears. From deep within, she pulled on Oghren's training, harnessed the power of the Berserker. On command, she brought forth all the fury, all the hate; from that horrible night, from every horrible thought of betrayal and murder and all the scum she'd seen on her long journey, every ounce of anger from all of it was summoned into her being. Slowly, her pain ebbed away, in fact it fuelled the fury into a raging inferno that made her heart beat so hard and fast it felt like it would break her ribs. She stood taller, her face a mask of cold rage.

An animalistic roar exploded from her mouth as she leapt back into the fray, twice as fierce as she had been before. No mercy or finesse was given, she hacked and slashed and bludgeoned her way through the troops, sometimes even at the cost to her own health. Her enemies paused to regard her, fear in their faces at what they had unleashed. Elaine didn't give them the opportunity to regain their senses. One after another, they fell to her blade.

And then out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Shepard firing at a weakening Wasea, as Samara took her attention from the other side. Behind the commander, however, a figure was setting the human in his sights. She called out to him. "Shepard! On your right!"

Even as she spoke, she was leaping over a table, blade raised high. Shepard turned to defend himself, only to see her slice the Eclipse thug's head clean from its shoulders. She kicked the twitching body out of her way as she landed in its place. Shepard's dark eyes appraised her, and he nodded. "Thanks."

The enemies were down and all that was left was a flagging Wasea. With all four of them training their various weapons and abilities on her, it didn't take long for the Asari to fall. Eventually, Elaine knelt to stab her through the gut, at the same time as Garrus shot her through the head.

The two looked at each other from across the room. Garrus jogged over to look at their combined kill, whilst Elaine calmed her breathing in order to let the effects of the Berserker fade away. With it gone, her injuries made themselves apparent to her again, and she bit her cheek in an effort to hide the shake in her muscles and squash away the pain on her face. Garrus looked down at Wasea, then Elaine.

"Okay, I don't think this one counts for either of us." He grumbled. And then that magic orange gauntlet appeared around his left hand and he was subtly holding it out towards her leg. "And here."

"What are you… _Oooaaah…"_ Elaine moaned as a warmth seeped through her armour and into her leg, staunching the pain and blood flow temporarily. The fatigue was slightly gone as well when her mind snapped back to the present. She cocked a brow at the turian beside her. "You're a healing mage too?"

"No," he shook his head and held out his hand. "Medi-gel. Technology."

She nodded. And then shrugged, her face nonchalant and somewhat goading to mask the way she favoured her uninjured leg. "You can have Wasea. I got the most kills anyway."

Garrus chortled. "Um, I don't think so."

"Really? I got up to twenty. How many did you get?"

He opened his mouth, paused, and then promptly closed it again. Elaine grinned, and Garrus muttered something her new translator didn't pick up. Then, he pointed one finger to his eyes and then to her eyes. "To be continued…"

Elaine laughed again. Then winced.

"Samara?" came Shepard's voice from the central desk. Everyone came towards him as he held up a datapad for the Justicar to see. "This what you're looking for?"

Samara's moon eyes flickered over the words written there, the only sign that she'd found something substantial was a slight twitch in her brow. She looked back up, her eyes sliding first from Shepard to Elaine. "The pair of you continue to impress me. We have done much this day without the cost of innocent bloodshed. You've fulfilled your part of the bargain and now I will fulfil mine."

Garrus plucked the datapad from Samara and read through it himself. "It says the Eclipse smuggled an Ardat-Yakshi off world… She's who you're really after, isn't she?"

"Yes, I was here tracking the Ardat-Yakshi. She is a dangerous criminal and I will bring her to justice. After your mission is complete, of course." She nodded to Shepard. "I must be sworn to your service, so that I am never forced to choose between your orders and the code."

And then, Samara's already bright eyes began to glow before she squeezed them shut. Elaine felt her breath still in her lungs as the very aura in the room shifted and changed to something eerie around her. The Justicar knelt, her clenched fists pressed into the ground, her head bowed forward.

Her voice was little more than a reverent whisper that floated around the ears of all who heard her. "By the Code, I will serve you, Shepard. Your choices are my choices, your morals are my morals. Your wishes are my code."

Blue fire flashed across her skin, as if it were the final signature on a contract. Dare one think it, but a subtle breeze shifted direction in the room, like a spirit had laid witness to the scene and now flew away to carry news of this act across the world. And just like that, the magic that had held the room hostage was gone. Elaine released the breath she'd been holding, a part of her awed from the feeling of watching something close to holy.

When she stood, Samara's lips almost twitched into an amused smile. "If you make me do anything extremely dishonourable, I may need to kill you when I am released from my oath."

Shepard rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Yeah, lets avoid that…"

They then all began the trek out of the base and towards transportation back to the Normandy. Elaine hid her fatigue well, but secretly she couldn't wait to get back to the Medbay and Chakwas's healing hands. However, before she could leave the base, Shepard's hand reached out and grabbed her shoulder, halting her in place.

"Hey, Elaine." He murmured, his voice and expression unreadable.

It made the Warden nervous that she couldn't discern his emotions, couldn't guess his motive. Or maybe she was just a little more tired then she'd realised. "Yes, Shepard?"

"Look. I'm… uh, grateful for what you did." The commander began as he scratched his jaw, looking a little unsure of himself. "We got Samara with less hassle because of you. And… you were good to have in the fight back there, I'll admit."

Dare she hope? "Yes?"

Realising that small talk was getting him nowhere, Shepard huffed, and then levelled her with a scrutinising stare. "Are you serious about joining the team? There's no turning back once you're on my squad."

Elaine smiled and bowed at the waist. "I assure you, Shepard. I'm in this until the end."

"It's your funeral. Alright, you're on the ground team." He declared, and Elaine could've jumped for joy – but didn't. As if sensing it, Shepard glanced down to her leg in particular, his gaze lingering on her armour on the way back up. "But first, your gonna need a few upgrades…"

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry this didn't come out on time you guys, but damned Justicars and their Code ;)**

 **In all seriousness, I was extremely busy last week, so I only had time to even start this chapter on Sunday night. I hope this is good enough, I was actually quite happy writing Samara - I like the way she kind of bridges the gap between Elaine's medieval world and the modern world we know in Mass Effect. Anyway, next week's chapter will be out on time - I promise! And hopefully I might have some art for you guys too ;)**

 **Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease review! I desperately live off of your comments and attention! Until next time!**


	6. The Start

Immediately upon returning to the Normandy, Elaine just about managed to get patched up by Dr Chakwas and then make it to her new bunk in the Crew's quarters before promptly passing out. She hadn't gotten a full night sleep since she arrived in this strange place, and now her body took full advantage of her and knocked her out dead to the world for several hours. She was awoken to the sound of thunder from her own stomach. From the strange clock in the quarters, Elaine gathered it was the afternoon. The siren song of her hunger was too much to stave off any longer, and the Warden pulled herself out of bed in order to find something to eat in the kitchen.

Gardner was surprised at the amount she asked to be piled on her plate – as he always was. Some part of her might have felt self-conscious, but her Warden's appetite quelled such foolish notions. Alistair had not been joking when he'd once told her that being a Warden meant her body would need extra fuel then it usual. At first it had bothered her, for fear that she would go out of shape. But then he'd always made her feel better with a good joke and then joining in with her pig-eating.

Her mouth stilled mid-chew, a swell of sadness turning her stomach. Oh Alistair… sweet, funny, kind Alistair. Her best friend, and the closest thing she had to family left. After what had happened at Castle Cousland, and then with her brother missing even before the Battle of Ostagar, Alistair was all she had left. He was the one who had been there the longest, had held her during her darkest days, had cheered her up and made her see a brighter side when all hope had seemed lost, and he'd even grieved with her. He wasn't like most men who would shun the thought of emotion, hadn't brushed her aside or tried to be better than her. Not Alistair, never Alistair. He was honest and kind right from the start. He'd been her constant companion over the long journey during the Fifth Blight, her confidant… and then later she'd made him her King. And now he was gone.

She shook her head, furious at the treacherous thought and banished it from her mind. No. He wasn't dead. None of her dearest friends were. There was still a chance to return to the world she knew, there must be! She would never give up her search, not as long as she drew breath.

"You seem to be in deep contemplation," came a deep gravelly voice.

Elaine started, and just managed to resist the urge to stab her fork into the person behind her. Said person stepped around so she could see his face, and Elaine was a little startled. What she could only describe as a lizard-man looked down at her with a patient and polite smile. He had scales of forest-green, with a rose-red throat. Small spikes protruded where hair should be, and his eyes were as dark as a moonless night. Even when he blinked, a second eyelid slid closed, a milky film just like a lizard or frog would have.

The lizard man nodded his head to her. "My apologies, it was not my intention to frighten you." Obsidian eyes glanced down to her still clenched fist. "Though I must commend your quick instincts – and your even quicker hold of them."

A blush crept across her cheeks with embarrassment, and Elaine forced herself to let go of the utensil. "It is I who must apologies, sir. I was deep in thought, and did not hear your approach."

Those scaly lips twitched at the corners. "If you could hear me, I obviously would not be doing my job correctly. Do you mind if I join you?"

She gestured to the seat across from her, and he gladly sat. His tray was placed before him and he ate with impeccable table manners. The entire time, Elaine couldn't take her eyes away. From the well-sculpted chest peeking out beneath his leather coat, to his slightly-webbed fingers, even to the fact that he moved without a sound. There was something alluring, something dangerous about him. It was different to something like Grunt, who exhaled the dangerous aura of an apex predator like a High Dragon: animalistic in its nature. No, this was something controlled, honed, perfected, a man-made kind of dangerous that made him seem like he would kill you through careful thought rather than authoritative routine.

The scaled man paused in his eating and returned her gaze, one brow raised expectantly. Elaine felt her face turn a thousand degrees as if a dragon had just burned them from within when she realised she'd been caught staring. Quickly averting her eyes, she stammered for an apology. Maker, what would her mother say at such a breach of manners! "I'm sorry, I did not mean to offend."

"You are curious," that gravelled voice was almost unreadable.

"I… indeed I am." She nodded. "I have never come across one of your people before…"

"Understandable. Not many Drell live off of the Hanar homeworld of Kahje."

Ah, a Drell! What was it Wynne used to say? Learn something new every day. She extended her hand to him. "Well met. I am Elaine Cousland."

"Thane Krios." He replied and smoothly took her hand in his. His touch was slick and slightly cooler then she was expecting. But she made no move of discomfort, and so smiled. When they finally released each other, Thane said: "So I hear you are the one who hunted down our Justicar for us in the early hours of this morning."

"I only did what I thought to be right."

"Your instincts proved true. I look forward to working together."

 _"_ _Elaine?"_ came EDI's voice from the ceiling. _"_ _Commander Shepard requests your presence in the armoury."_

Nodding her farewell to Thane, Elaine handed her plate back to Gardner and then made her way towards the elevator. As she rode the metal box upwards, she allowed her thought to wander. What could Shepard possibly want with her? What had she done now? Was this to do with the 'upgrades' he'd cryptically hinted at? She didn't know what that meant, and it still made her nervous to think of what the man had planned for her.

She came out of the elevator when it eventually arrived. Kelly threw her a wave from her desk, to which Elaine smiled politely. Her brisk pace never stopped as she brought herself to the doors on the left that lead to the armoury. Shepard stood waiting for her, along with Jacob. What looked to be her armour was laid out in pieces on Jacob's work bench. Instantly, the Warden grew wary at the sight of someone else manhandling her things.

"Elaine," Shepard nodded to her and summoned her over. Elaine stepped up beside him, her back straightening with caution, as if preparing for an attack. "I wanted you to have a look at something."

She cocked a brow at him. "My armour?"

"He means this," Jacob said formerly. Elaine had at first been a little bemused at Jacob's demeanour. From how he had almost flirted with her when they'd first met, she would have thought that he would be that kind of man. But ever since he had been polite, if a little distant. Which had suited her just fine. The man reached across to her breeches and leg guards and showed her a neat hole ripped right through both. "Bullet went straight through. Though these materials you got can take a battering, I don't think it'll handle pretty well against really heavy fire."

"In short, your armour's useless if you wanna be out there fighting." Shepard put in bluntly.

Elaine felt her temper simmer. "Excuse me? This is one of the best sets of armour in all Ferelden. I wouldn't just ware any piece of tin!"

"I understand that," Shepard said in what Elaine guessed passed for diplomatic to him. "But you've got to move with the times, Elaine. This might be the best wherever it is you come from, but out here, it'll only get you killed."

"Ridiculous!"

"You want on my squad? Change the outfit."

She threw him a scowl of ice. "And what would you have me in? Prance about in a frock?"

"Glad you mentioned that," said Jacob as he pulled out a large crate from beneath the bench. Slowly, carefully he started unpacking pieces of silver and black, and laid them out carefully on the table.

As he did so, Shepard provided a narrative. "I spoke with the Illusive Man. He pulled a couple of strings and directed me to a special shipment here on Illium."

Finally, Jacob laid out the last piece, the chest-plate. Elaine felt her eyes grow wide and her breath caught in her throat.

Arched and gleaming silver-grey, the breastplate gleamed in the harsh light of the armoury. Emblazoned across the chest in vivid scarlet was a very familiar symbol. A depiction of blood splattered across the chest and flowed together into the shape of a dragon. And not just any dragon: a High Dragon. Elaine would recognise the crocodilian snout, the long serpentine neck and the long horns and spikes adorning its head and spine. Could it truly be? Something so strikingly similar from her own world? A piece of the puzzle to form the key back? With shaking fingers, she reached out to caress the armour, her nails tracing over the curve of the Dragon's neck.

"Where did you get this?" she whispered reverently.

Jacob shrugged. "Guys make this sort of thing for customers with more particular tastes. This armour is rather special. It's built specifically for close-quarters combat, able to take lots of damage and still stay intact. Let's you move with a lot more freedom too. Perfect for you, I reckon."

"In addition," said Shepard as he took out a small gun from the wall that fit snugly around his hand. "You'll have one of these on you at all times."

Elaine tried to speak, but her mouth felt too dry. Wetting her lips, she firmly placed the armour back on the table. "I can't take this."

Jacob looked confused. "Why not?"

"And I most certainly will not handle that _thing_." She threw a disgusted look towards the gun Shepard still held out to her.

Shepard's lips pursed. "You're going to take it or you don't go."

"I am a melee fighter, Shepard. I do not know how to handle one of those."

"Then learn." He snapped back. "Look, I'm not saying to give up your sword-fetish. I know that's your thing. But sometimes when you're in a fix, you need something to give you that edge and get you out of that tight spot."

"And what about my runes?" she demanded and pointed to her old breastplate, where said runes glittered subtly on top. "Sandal and I spent a small fortune and many hours collecting and crafting all my runes so that I would be equipped to the best I could be. Those things are priceless – I'm not giving them up!"

Jacob scratched the back of his neck, deep in thought. "I could see what I can do? Maybe I can try and transfer them over to the new one?"

"Either way, you're changing suits. Unless you suddenly don't want on the team, anymore?" Shepard gave her a rather pointed look.

Elaine growled something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like an affirmative and stormed off. She took the elevator ride down, this time ignoring Kelly completely on her way past. Inside the elevator was even worse. The metal box was too confining, too slow and too grating on her nerves. Her blood was thrumming through her veins and she had to grit her teeth to the point of pain to avoid punching the wall in front of her. Damn it! Why did they need to meddle in her affairs? The armour was hers. She did not want a replacement. And tampering with the runes would destroy them unless an expert like Sandal handled them correctly. But of course, she couldn't tell them exactly why everything was so special to her, couldn't tell them the intricacies of lyrium and rune-crafting and magic; she dared not explain how any ties to her own world was now precious to her, and she couldn't bear the thought of giving up even one.

A loud sigh escaped her lips. Her head leaned back to thump against the metal wall.

"Looks like you're carrying some tension…"

Elaine leapt in the air at the familiar voice right beside her ear. She spun to throw a punch, but barely held it back when a grinning hooded figure sparkled into view beside her. The Warden growled loudly. "Andraste's flaming _arse-cheeks_ , Kasumi! Don't do that!"

The elevator doors opened onto Deck 3, and the Warden marched purposefully towards the crew quarters, ignoring the skipping thief at her heel.

"Only fair I get a little pay back for how you snuck off on me," she replied airily.

Elaine paused mid-step and grimaced. "Kasumi, I'm sorry. I didn't mean–"

"How about you make it up to me?" those stripe-painted lips were grinning almost from ear to ear with barely contained excitement. "We're going out."

"Out?"

"A couple of us are getting drinks at the bar in port before we have to leave in the morning. Bars are such wondrous things, it's an obligation to visit one at least once before you leave any town."

"Kasumi, I don't think that's a good idea." Elaine murmured. "I'm not having a good day – and I don't have anything to wear for a start!"

"How fortunate for you! Your shopping arrived!" Kasumi clapped her hands together giddily. "Now go get changed into something a little less… formal, let's say. Meet me in the CIC when you're done. We're going with Kelly to meet the others."

And with a flicker of light, Kasumi was gone. Elaine's shoe tapped the metal floor loudly, her glare penetrating the air where her new friend used to be. For a moment, she wondered what the consequences would be if she just stayed in the Crew Quarters. Kasumi seemed to be the type that would hunt Elaine down and then bug her to death until she complied with her wishes. For the sake of less hassle, the Warden growled to herself and stomped back to her bunk to do as she was told.

Sure enough, she found her new clothes stacked in boxes beside her bunk. Considering that she was only allowed one chest for her belongings, she decided to sort out the clothes now for storage – also it helped her take up as much time as possible. Just to get on Kasumi's nerves a little. As she waded deeper into the pit of fashion the thief had suddenly drowned her in, Elaine had to get a little frustrated at some of the things she found. Such as a leather coat that wasn't long enough to cover her ribs. Or a skirt so short one might see her small clothes. At one point she even pulled out a dark satin dress that probably would reveal _far_ too much at the front. Elaine rolled her eyes and stuffed it down to the bottom of the pile – as if she would ever have a chance to wear something like _that_.

Her hand froze when her fingers brushed sown lace. Slowly, her hand retracted a white flower-lace piece of cloth, one side only consisting of a single string. Scandalous anger coursed through the woman as she balled the offending object in her fist, and had half a mind to tear it in half – the thing looked fragile enough anyway. "Damn you, Kasumi!"

The panties ( _and_ the matching bra) were tossed into the chest at the foot of her bunk, and then the lid was slammed closed for good measure. Thankfully in the next bag, Elaine found all of the stuff _she_ had actually gotten Kasumi to buy. Small clothes that would actually mould to her body – though this world had no breast-bindings, so the Warden spent almost five minutes trying to figure out how to correctly put on a bra. She then found dark brown skin-tight breeches and a loose but form-complimentary white blouse. A large black belt went around her navel and the outfit was completed with a pair of black boots, similar to the ones Miranda wore. It was simple, and Elaine decided that she very much liked simple.

Before she left her bunk, she took one look at the only mirror in the room. Deciding to at least attempt to appease Kasumi, Elaine pulled out her hair to let fall naturally past her shoulder-blades. The long locks were perhaps in need of a trim, but Elaine gave them a quick finger comb. There; she made _some_ effort to look nice.

She met Kasumi not far from Joker's seat at the front of the ship, close to the front door to the Normandy – what everyone else called the _air-lock_. How a door was supposed to lock air, she wasn't certain. Kelly wasn't there, obviously having gone ahead of them. The thief gave her a roll of her shadowed eyes at her casual appearance, but otherwise said nothing, and lead the way.

As they walked through the port as they had done the day before, Elaine felt dreadfully exposed. She hadn't brought her sword or shield, and she felt almost naked without them. Every face that even glanced their way was a potential threat. Though Elaine knew enough dirty fighting with her fists in order to win a fight, she would prefer the comfort of her weapons in hand. It was also the reason why she was so reluctant to go to this bar. On the road back in Ferelden, taverns could be dangerous places, where there were too many strangers in all corners that could recognise her face and report her whereabouts. She and Alistair had rarely ventured into them for fear of being spotted, so any business that needed to be concluded in said places was carried out by Leliana or Morrigan. But Elaine tried to reconcile herself that here, in this place, no one knew her name, no one knew who she was or what she had done or who she was associated with. After the Landsmeet, her name had been pardoned of all charges and then granted fame, but here in this world, she was no one.

They climbed a set of stairs above the market that led to the tavern. Elaine had to pause mid-step at the entry in order for her ears to adjust to the loud beat that pulsed through the large room. What on earth kind of music was that? _Maker_! It was an abomination! Red and purple harsh lights stung the backs of her eyes, and Elaine had to keep her gaze low as she followed Kasumi deeper into the establishment. Towards the back of the room, a booth was reserved where their companions awaited. Joker sat on the end, so as not to be squashed in between any of the others and possibly cause him harm at their jostling. The tattooed woman, Jack, and the beast, Grunt, sat side by side against the wall, lounging as if they owned the place. Garrus was on Joker's other side, and Kelly was sat beside two other humans Elaine hadn't met. For a moment, Elaine wondered where all of the rest of the crew were, but decided to not ask questions; seeing as those missing didn't seem to like her that much, such as Zaeed and Miranda.

"Evening all!" Kasumi called out in a sing-song voice as they approached the table. "The liquor here any good?"

"Aye, if you call this swill real liquor." Said the new man with the ginger hair and goatee beard. His voice was thick with a Starkhaven accent that Elaine actually recognised. The round-faced brown-haired woman beside the man rolled her eyes.

"Kenneth, Gabby, I don't think you've met Elaine," Kasumi motioned to the Grey Warden beside her.

The woman – Gabby – gave a half smile that spoke of someone who liked to have fun. Elaine recognised it enough from how her brother used to be. "No, you missed us out on your little introduction party last time."

"Banished as we were down in our lair of engineering." Kenneth flailed dramatically. He quickly stood and held out his hand for Elaine to shake with a huge smile. "Hi ya, lassi, I'm Kenneth Donnelly."

"Well met," Elaine took his wrist and shook it firmly. She then turned to Gabby to offer the same gesture, and the woman took it.

"Gabby Daniels, good to meet you."

"So, what drink can we get ya, lassi?"

"I think you look like a wine person," Kelly spoke up. "Sophisticated and regal – you'd look right at home with a dark red and flowing ball gown!"

Elaine and Kasumi took the seats left free for them. The Warden scoffed and shook her head. "I'm afraid not – can't stand the stuff, tastes like vinegar."

Kenneth's thick brogue had him growl in approval. "Aye, I'd agree with that! That's why I like to go for the Citadel Whiskey. Made for most levo-aminos, with just the right kick to ignore its pitiful flavours."

Kasumi's mouth fell open in shocked horror. "Kenneth! What sacrilege! That's got nothing on this real vintage whiskey I once stole – brewed to perfection in 1896. Now that was something else. Couldn't quite handle the hangover in the morning, though."

"This is why you aliens are weak." Grunt's voice made the glasses on the table rattle with its deep bass sound, which wasn't helped when he pounded his large white bottle onto the table. "Ryncol: that's the way to go! Sets the stomach on fire. Heh-heh. Literally."

Joker smirked and held up his bright orange bottle. "Yeah well, you call that tough? I've got pure fruit-juice, with 46% real fruit juice in it. Now _that's_ a man's drink."

Elaine had to laugh at the man's dead serious way he delivered his humour that somehow made it all the more endearing. "Do you not partake, Joker?"

"Not when Shepard wants me to fly the ship at 0500 tomorrow." The snorted, flicking the brim of his hat as he threw her a grin. "Can you imagine if I turned up hanging out of my ass? Miranda would skin me!"

"Tell the Cheerleader to fuck off – I usually do." Jack murmured around her glass.

Garrus leaned forward, one elbow on the table, his other hand on his hip. The way his mandibles flexed and the tilt of his head made Elaine imagine he was smiling roguishly. "Don't worry, Joker; I'm sure the entertainment here will be enough to keep your hand happy."

"Bite me." Joker paused, eyes narrowing in thought before he spoke quickly to amend his statement. "On second thought, don't. I like my sexuality exactly where it is."

Garrus laughed and lounged back in his seat like royalty. "Can't help it if I'm _that_ irresistible."

Elaine was laughing with everyone else, her slight reluctance to partake in the friendly conversations was washed away with how enjoyable they all were. Even Jack. It reminded her so much of her own companions, of the banter they all used to share; it almost let her feel at home. It emboldened her to lean towards Garrus and point to his scarred cheek. "And I'm sure _this_ just adds to your bad-boy charms."

"Hey now, _some_ women find facial scars attractive…" he grinned, running with the joke. And then he turned somewhat thoughtful and murmured to himself. "Mind you, most of those women are Krogan."

Grunt laughed to himself. "Too bad _Turian_ isn't as attractive."

They all chortled and laughed and spluttered at that.

"So," Jack said loudly to grab their attentions, her hand slamming on the table with a look to Elaine. "What are we getting little-miss-princess? I bet it's something weak as piss – try Asari wine. Like ginger said, you look more suited to it."

The Warden did her best to not let her emotions appear on her face. But the almost goading tone in Jack's voice, as if she were looking for something to fault her with, had her hackles up. "Oh really? And what is it you are drinking then?"

"Me? Pure Batarian Ale!" the tattooed woman proclaimed, holding her glass aloft. "Strongest stuff for levos there is."

Quick as a dragon-strike, Elaine snatched the glass straight out of Jack's fingers. Despite the fact that she was so fast, she was also steady enough that she didn't spill a single drop. Jack went to shout incredulously but was too late as Elaine brought the glass to her lips and downed the entire contents. It burned through her throat and into her stomach, a potent brew she'd never dabbled in before. Its taste was like a spice on her tongue, its effectiveness already sweeping through her system. But Elaine Cousland had drank her alcohol with the fiercest drinking dwarf to have ever lived. Oghren's constant alcohol consumption, and his home-made brews that he shared with her, were the stuff to put weaker men in the ground. If Elaine had survived drinking with that red-headed dwarf, she could easily stomach this. With one last gulp, she slammed the empty glass down on the table, and grinned ferally at Jack, more than aware of their onlookers.

"You call that strong? I've drank gnats piss with more bite." Elaine declared and stood. "Barkeep! Three more ales. Two for me and one for the milk-drinker here."

The silence at the table was heavy with nerves. Everyone looked from Elaine to Jack. The half-naked woman stared up at the Warden, who smirked right back at her. And then, rather astonishingly, Jack began to laugh. Not a nice laugh, more of a cackle. She thumped her fist down on the table, her brows down but her grin wide. "Shit, this bitch ain't that bad!"

Everyone relaxed after that, and Elaine felt more at ease by the moment. She drank, she talked with the others; they joked and laughed and drank some more. Once more, it felt like old times to the Warden, and as she looked around at all of these faces whose company she seemed to be enjoying, she made a promise to herself to be as one with them as she had with her old companions. And just like with her old friends, these ones came with their own hilarious antics. At one point, Grunt begged anyone to test him in an arm-wrestling match, even inviting the entire tavern to get in on the wager. Kelly randomly in conversation decided to volunteer the information on how she loved all species – whilst sliding herself close to Garrus. Jack had laughed snidely at Kelly's expense, only for Elaine and Kasumi to shoot her down with their own witty comebacks. Kenneth tried to get everyone to play poker – specifically _strip_ poker – and Elaine had according to Joker, made the naïve and foolish decision to play later when she didn't even know what the hell the game was.

After some time, and Elaine's fourth round, Kasumi slid a little closer to her, the thief's voice lowered in a whisper. "I see you're having fun. Aren't you glad I dragged you out here?"

"Be more thankful Shepard let me out at all," Elaine snorted to cover her hiccup. "You know, for a moment there, I thought he wouldn't see reason."

"Oh, I wouldn't have allowed that."

"Allowed?"

"Of course," the self-satisfied smirk on Kasumi's face grew frighteningly quick. "You don't honestly think someone managed to sneak away from me? _Me,_ the sneakiest of sneaks in the whole galaxy, couldn't detect when someone was sneaking away from me?"

Elaine's mouth dropped open like a fish in shock. "But you made me believe–"

"EDI and I had a plan. Did you honestly think I could fool an AI for as long as I did?" she shook her head.

" _EDI_?" Elaine spluttered, and then laughed. The time she'd spent guilty for almost getting Kasumi in trouble, only to have this be the thief's plan all along. "I'll have to thank the kindly spirit when we return to the ship."

"You can thank _me_ by getting us another round of drinks." Kasumi proclaimed by handing Elaine her glass and flat orange card. When Elaine puzzled over the item, the thief rolled her eyes and explained in simplest terms: "Just wave this at the terminal – it'll pay for it automatically."

The Warden shook her head, not wanting to struggle through the befuddlement of solving futuristic puzzles when she was this tipsy. She took the glasses back over to the bar, and was about to re-order when the call-of-nature sounded in her body, as it were. It didn't take her long to find the toilet facilities and relieve herself – though she was still slightly freaked out by the use of toilet instead of a plain old privy.

When she came back out, she passed two people stood not far off. One was an Asari in a formal-looking floor-length dress, and the other was an alien that Elaine had not encountered yet in this strange new world. It was obviously female by the slim build, narrow waist and breasts. But her legs were bent backwards like a dogs, and she only had three fingers and two toes like Garrus. The alien was covered from head to foot in an exquisitely patterned suit, so that not one inch of her skin showed. Even her face was covered by a mask of clouded glass, where only the glow of her eyes deep in her head shone through. Elaine immediately found such an alien fascinating and beautiful, and shuffled closer.

"It's okay – I'll think of something!" The Asari was telling the other woman, her tone suggesting she was trying to be reassuring but a hint of stress was in her own voice.

"But you said Synthetic Insights would buy me…" said the alien through her mask with a voice that obviously belonged to a young girl. She sounded worried on to the point of hopelessness, yet the words she spoke made Elaine pull up short, appalled. "You said it was an easy sale."

"I assumed they would want an AI tech–"

"Buy you?" Elaine couldn't help herself from butting in. The fire in her stomach and the outrage in her heart demanded she get answers. This surely wasn't what she thought it to be? "What in the Maker's name is going on here?"

The Asari was immediately calm, collected and completely aloof. "Just a bit of business, and none of your concern. Can I help you with something else?"

"It is my business if you have made this poor woman into your slave!" Elaine snarled as she stepped up closer to the two women.

The Asari woman's lips pursed together with clear irritation. "We prefer the term, _indentured servitude_."

"I don't care what you call it." The Warden growled, furious. How on earth could someone talk about something as abhorrent as _slavery_ in such a public space?! Had she stepped into Tevinter suddenly? No, she wouldn't allow such a thing to continue! "You will release her. Now."

"You're from off-world, I see. Just suffice it to say that I cannot do that." The Asari said before the girl at her side could speak up for herself. "I am trying to have the rep from Synthetic Insights pick up her contract–"

" _Contract_?!" Elaine shouted, aghast. "She is not a piece of property, you twisted _slaver_!"

Her first swung out to strike the woman. Perhaps it was the drink that made her slow, perhaps her fury was undermined by the logic in her mind that saw the frightened looks on both the faces of the women. Either way, she was slow enough that a long, three-fingered grip snatched up her wrist in mid-air, stopping her first from connecting with its target. All three were equally as surprised as the others at the timely intervention. Elaine looked up to see Garrus hovering close beside her.

"Not here," he whispered low into her hair. His other arm snaked around her shoulders and pulled her tight against him as he began to pull her away from the two aliens. As he walked them away, he called back over his shoulder to the traumatised women. "Excuse us, ladies,"

It didn't take Elaine long to fully get over her shock and begin to struggle to get out of his unyielding grip. "What are you doing?!"

"You need some air."

* * *

Garrus had first noticed something was up when a small tickle across his senses reverberated into his consciousness. It was a feeling of unease, a feeling that something wasn't quite as it should be all around him. He had only been drinking moderately, small sips of only a few drinks here and there in order to make it seem like he was keeping up with the others whilst remaining stone-cold-sober. Perhaps it was a bad habit he had yet to break. After living so long on Omega and having to be on alert and in full control of one's senses almost every moment of every day, the trick of staying in your own mind stuck. The last time he'd actually gotten 'shit-faced' drunk (as the human expression goes), was back on the Citadel, when the news came that Shepard had… Well. Safe to say that Garrus hadn't drunk out of revelry, but to more forget the agony of losing a best friend.

So, it was no surprise when his predatory instincts whispered like a nagging feeling at the back of his mind in this moment of sobriety. It was only then that he noticed that Elaine was no longer sitting beside him; she must have slipped away when he'd been too engrossed with the escalating banter between Kenneth and Grunt across from him. Why this seemed so important, he didn't know. But then he began to wonder where she'd gone, and what trouble she could get into. Illium was not like anywhere else in the galaxy; it was far too deceptive and dangerous for someone as seemingly naïve and unknowledgeable of the common ways as Elaine was.

He scoped the scene, eyesight glancing over the entire room and every detail in it with ease. His visor helped him to pick up what he missed. The bar was empty of human women, and the small dancefloor had no trace of her long pale hair. The other booths and tables were undisturbed, so she hadn't mistaken their table – There! He spotted her standing off to the side close to the women's restroom. But his gaze picked up the way her back was ramrod-straight, her head tilted his way just enough for him to see the slight frown growing on her features. An urgency whispered in his gut, an instinct that said trouble was close at hand.

Without a word or explanation to the others, Garrus quickly got up from his seat and marched towards his crewmate. He saw from afar when she butted into the conversation, his ears began to pick up snippets of what was said and the growing fury in Elaine's voice. He picked up his pace. When he finally reached her, Elaine was already throwing the first punch, and the turian acted automatically and snatched her hand back out of the air. He pulled her close and then made the split decision to remove his charge from the situation. It mattered little to him that she struggled as he dragged her out towards the doors that led to the balcony. The drink she'd consumed made her movements a fraction sluggish then they usually would be, and even then, her strength impressed him though it couldn't match his turian power. His species were considered apex predators on their planet long before their ancestors learned any means of civilisation. It was almost a common analogy that Krogan were built like walking tanks, and turians were walking swords.

The door opened onto the balcony, allowing for a gorgeous view of the city skyline with the sun setting right behind it to throw beautiful shades of colour onto the clouds. There was already a couple there, an quarrian pressed against the wall with her bare-faced turian partner lapping at the neck of her suit. The pair were startled when Garrus barged into their space, almost dragging his angry human behind him. The bare-faced opened his mouth, perhaps to tell Garrus to fuck-off somewhere else, but the larger scarred turian pulled his mandibles downward to flash his fangs with a short but very effective growl. The pair quickly got the message and fled, though they muttered to themselves about his _acquired tastes_.

Garrus ignored them. Let them believe what they want, it didn't matter to him. As soon as the door closed behind the retreating couple, he released Elaine's arm. She stumbled away from him, catching herself on the balcony railing. Her frosty glare was bright and dangerous.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

The turian crossed his arms and leaned back against the doorframe. Though his posture was non-threatening, the message was still the same: she wouldn't be leaving until she calmed down. "Stopping you from doing something stupid."

" _Stupid_?!" she hissed. "Did you know that there was an enslaved girl in there? Her owner was discussing selling her – as normal as you like, as if she were nothing but a piece of meat to be traded!"

"That was a contract-broker. She was likely discussing selling the girl's contract to someone who could take care of her and put her to good use until the contract is ended. You go in there and beat someone up? You won't be fighting a righteous cause – you'll be breaking the law. This isn't a moral issue here, this is politics."

"I am not completely ignorant!" Elaine seethed. Either she had drank a little too much or she was that unafraid, but she stepped closer to Garrus and bared her teeth at him. He had to force down the return instinct inside himself to return such aggression. "I fought slavery once before and it was dressed up as politics. For political gain, a man sold an entire community into slavery. I still killed every last one of the fuckers. In Ferelden, we do not stand for something so abhorrent!"

"Well, you're not in _Ferelden_ any more. Try to keep that in mind."

"So I am to just ignore it? I should just look the other way? I thought you said slavery was illegal."

"It is in Council Space. But this isn't council space. We're on Illium. Nearly anything goes here, so long as you have the right paperwork for it."

"How dare you be so calm about this! How could you agree–"

"I didn't say I agreed with it!" Garrus snapped, stepping away from the wall to loom over the petite woman in front of him. "You're right, it's a horrible thing, slavery; as is drug dealing, prostitution, gangs, theft, sex-traffic, murder. But you know what? It's everywhere, and in a place like this? It's normal."

"We sit and do nothing, then?"

"What am I going to do? Bring down the whole system? I tried that once – it didn't make a damn of difference!" His shout faded into silence, and Garrus knew he'd said too much. Damn it.

He turned away from the human woman, taking a deep breath to try and collect himself. His talons leaned against the balcony railing, and he hung his head. Why, even long after he'd left Omega behind, did its ghosts still cause that stirring beast of anger inside him? Simple: because nothing he did mattered. Everything he'd done on Omega, and he knew none of I mattered. Though he had more pressing issues what with trying to save the galaxy again, it still bothered him that that one task was left unfinished. And this conversation with Elaine, her righteous anger reminded him so much of himself, of his own fury at the cruel and unjust world. He'd once thought he could save everyone, save the world from bad-guys and criminals. Now he saw the awful mess it was. Maybe if this exchange was anything to go by, Elaine was on the exact same road.

The feel of her eyes on his armoured back rested heavily on him, and he realised he'd been silent for too long. She was waiting for something, but he couldn't give her the answers he knew were playing on her mind. So instead, he told her: "We were always told that Illium is one of the safest places in the galaxy… until you fell off the grid. Sign the wrong contract, join up with the wrong company, or walk down the wrong alley, and it's as dangerous as anywhere else."

The click of her new boots told him she was close. His senses already told him that, though. He could smell the unique scent of her, like fresh leather and some kind of flower he couldn't recognise. He heard the ever-so-quiet sigh escape her lips when she leaned on the railing beside him. Her voice was quiet, thoughtful, when she spoke. "When we arrived, I thought I'd never seen anywhere as beautiful as this. I thought the citizens who lived here should be just as wonderful, to create such a marvel."

"Don't let this place fool you. It's no safer here then Omega."

"And what is Omega?"

He only had one word to adequately describe it. "Hell."

There was silence. Garrus took a chance and looked over at Elaine. In the final light of the evening, her pale skin was awash in golds and deeps reds. Threads of her pale hair floated about her face in the slight gentle breeze that surrounded them this high up. Her brows were slightly furrowed in deep thought, her full lips pressed into a firm line. For a single moment, she looked to Garrus as if she were innocent of all the fight and anger he knew lingered beneath the surface. She just looked like any other woman, maybe pretty by human standards, but still normal. It was in her eyes that he saw the fighting spirit in her, the warrior that seemed to have stepped straight out of a story to fight injustice and slay bad-guys. And now, she looked utterly lost.

"What is the point, Garrus?" she asked at last.

"Point?"

"We're soldiers, members of a cause that want to bring order and justice. But what's the point when all we get is more of _this_?" she gestured to the city laid out before them with a disgusted wave of her hand. Leaning forward, she rested her elbows on the railing. Her voice turned quiet, almost disappointed. "We all work so hard for the future. It's engrained into us from birth, isn't it? ' _Work hard now so that the future will be better for all_ '. We're all sold this illusion that the future will be some glittering paradise if we work for it hard enough. Do you know how much I fought for that future? I fought and killed and bled and sacrificed so much of who I am and what I loved, just so that I could try and make a better future for everyone. And here I am, in the future, only to find that's its filled with the same old shit and hate as the past I left behind!"

Her words caused some sort of red-flag to appear in Garrus's mind. What had she meant by that exactly? Must've been metaphorical, a figure of speech amongst humans. He had to admit, he didn't get all their idioms sometimes. But still some part of his brain warned him there was more going on here then he knew. Maybe he should keep on this…

Elaine slumped, defeated. "Just makes you wonder _why_ we should bother."

"I know exactly what you mean." Garrus said quietly.

"I have a feeling you do…"

The turian glanced over, and the human caught his eyes. They held each other's gaze, suspended in an agonising moment of tension that pushed back and forth between them. Did she want him to divulge his past? Explain everything? The expectant expression on her face seemed to suggest so, yet at the same time her scrutinising gaze seemed to tell him that she was studying him. perhaps the meant to learn his secrets by reading them from his face. That piercing gaze somewhat unnerved him, and he was forced to look away for fear of giving into it.

She sighed and pushed away. "Right. Let's get back to it then."

"Wait, what? Just like that?" Garrus blinked and spun to see her walking calmly back towards the door. He shook his head, completely confused. "Hold on, where are you going?"

"To go back in there and finish this. I've had my moment of moping. It's time to get on with it."

He gaped at her. Surely, she couldn't be serious? Nobody got over something like that this quickly! "But what about the whole speech? The point of fighting the system when nothing we do makes a difference?"

Elaine turned back to fully face him, her stance unyielding, her face filled with determination. "Yes, I fought all of yesterday, and will probably still fight those exact same battles tomorrow. But if I do not fight today, then the enemy wins regardless. I will not give them the satisfaction. Even in the face of a pointless cycle, what kind of person does that make me if I just give up? You don't just get back on the horse after it throws you off, Garrus. You ride it harder to spite it."

And with that, she turned on her heel and stalked back into Purgatory Bar. Garrus had a moment of speechlessness, stood there like an idiot as his brain tried to process the whiplash the woman had just given him. But then he remembered himself and ran through the door before it could close on him. he quickly caught up with Elaine, just as she was approaching the Contract Broker and the Quarian slave again.

Immediately, the two women went on the defensive, the asari putting her hand out as if to shield her charge. "Don't come anywhere near me, or I will be forced to call security."

Elaine stood there, impassive and unreadable, even to Garrus as she stared at the two before her. Garrus stood a few feet away, ready to jump back in should Elaine prove hostile. Finally, Elaine spoke in a controlled voice. "You're looking to sell the girl to that woman over there?"

She gestured to an asari on the other side of the room who wore a Synthetic-Insights badge. Garrus was impressed – she'd obviously been paying attention when he'd dragged her through the bar.

"The Synthetic Insights Rep, yes." Nodded the broker, though her tone was suspicious. "What concern is it of yours?"

"How do I know the girl will be treated well if she's sold?"

"If it makes you feel any better, Illium law requires safety measures be put in place to protect all parties. Indentured servitude can only last a certain amount of time, and all indentured servants must be housed and fed well and their behaviour and health is also accounted for. Abuse is strictly forbidden."

There was a long silence as Elaine seemed to study the asari in front of her. Garrus honestly thought she wouldn't accept that answer, but then he was surprised again, when Elaine swiftly turned and held her hand out to the Quarian girl. "Come with me."

The girl's bright eyes glowed wide behind her helmet. "W-what? I don't think–"

"I swear, no harm will come to you. I just want to help."

The Quarian looked between Elaine, to her hand, to her broker. She fiddled with her wrists, clearly nervous. Yet Elaine just stood there patiently, her eyes soft and speaking quiet reassurances. The genuine gentle smile at the corners of her mouth, like a mother to a child, must have been what did it. Ever so slowly, cautiously, the quarrian held out shaking fingers and took Elaine's hand. Calm and slow, Elaine then lead the way back across the room towards the Synthetic Insights Rep. Garrus watched them, and was then helpless to do anything but follow like a puppet on a string.

Elaine stood with the Quarian girl at her side, her chin lifted in confidence as she spoke out in a voice Garrus knew well – a **_commander's_** voice. "Ma'am? If I could have a moment of your time."

"Wait. Aren't you the slave that Broker was trying to sell me?" the asari woman looked the Quarian up and down, recognition firing in her eyes. She hadn't even looked at Elaine yet, but the curl of her lip and slight squint of her eyes said how she was already uninterested. Garrus felt the instinctive urge to demand she show more respect. "Look, Synthetic Insights can't afford more scrutiny from the Council by practising in what its deems to be 'inappropriate acts'. And after the Geth attack on the Citadel, people aren't endeared to us; we're hardly hiring anyone anyway."

Elaine ignored the woman's dismissive snap. Instead she turned to the girl at her side, and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. Her voice was warm and encouraging. "Tell the woman what you can do."

"P-please, Ma'am," the quarrian stuttered nervously, desperately. "I'm a great AI tech. I'm good with numbers and programs. I-I can take a switch board and run-of-the-mill terminal programs and turn it into a fully functioning VI for you! I'm a hard worker and I can do almost anything you ask."

"Yes, I bet you can." The asari muttered cynically.

Elaine stepped forward, her eyes hard and her tone even harder, the likes of which would make even a Krogan ashamed if she used it on them. "Look at this girl. She is desperate for a fresh start that only you and your company can give her. If she can be of use to you, then why can't you take her on, get her away from this life? It sounds like you should be jumping at the chance to have her with her skills."

"We can't take a slave." The Rep tried to say.

"Then don't make her a slave." Elaine declared passionately. "Give her a job and free her from her contract – whatever the price may be to do so. You can sell it to the world that your company freed slaves and you gain an invaluable employee."

The resolve in the Rep's face wavered. "I… I don't know if…"

Here, Elaine's voice turned gentle, couldn't with honey and sympathy. "I understand your disdain for slavery. But this is a chance for you to show that you are better than this system. To make a difference in someone's life that counts."

The Rep was silent, her eyes flickering back and forth as she mulled over the words. Finally, she nodded. She then looked at the Quarian, _really_ looked at her, as a person and not as a hideous piece of furniture. "Alright. I'll draw up a contract. I can have you start by the end of the week."

A few more formalities and farewells were exchanged, and then the Rep left. Garrus stared after where the asari woman had gone, speechless. He turned back to the other two near him, and saw that the Quarian was now facing Elaine, and although he couldn't see her face, the way her glowing eyes wrinkled and the way the blinking light of her mouthpiece flickered told him she was close to tears.

"I… I don't know what to…" she gasped and then threw her arms around Elaine's neck in a fearsome embrace. "Keelah, thank you!"

Balancing herself with the new weight, Elaine slowly returned the hug, a sincere smile on her own features. "I did what I could. Your thanks are not needed." She pulled back and held the Quarian's hands in hers. "Remember: no matter how dark the night becomes, there is always a light. You will always have friends and people to help; let them. And maybe one day, you can do the same for someone else."

"I will. Ancestors bless you, I will!"

The Quarian ran off, and Elaine and Garrus watched her leave. Slowly, Garrus stepped up closer to Elaine and tried to study her. How had she done that? Spirits, to say he was amazed didn't nearly cover it. She had with kind words and a commanding presence done what he'd thought only threats and nasty tricks could accomplish. After a while, Elaine noticed his stare, and looked up at him.

"What?" she blinked and looked anywhere but at him for a moment, as if self-conscious.

He wanted to tell her how amazed he was at what she had just done: how she'd turned everything around from raging at the unfair world to saving one small piece of it. Did she even realise the good she'd done, the old fire she'd caused to spark to life in his gut? He felt inspired, determined, motivated.

Instead, he shook his head. "Nothing." And then, to find any distraction, he reached into his pocket and brought out the object of conversation he'd been meaning to breach all night. He handed it to the woman. "Here, I –um… I overheard Shepard say you needed some upgrades. I thought I'd get you this."

Elaine carefully took in her fingers the slim black bracelet-like contraption. She blinked several times as she tried to process what she was seeing. "Isn't this one of your tool-things?"

"An Omnitool. Yeah." He offered his hand, and she carefully placed in his palm. With gentle talons, he took her left wrist and strapped the 'tool in place so that it fit snugly on her pale skin. "I figured you wouldn't need all the decryption, extranet engine, or other useless software on there, so I deleted all that and re-routed the power functions to put more strength into the shields – to help keep those bullets off you when you're out there."

"I think I understood half of what you said," she snorted to herself. And then she looked up at him, and he saw true gratitude in her bright blue eyes. "But I understand enough to thank you."

His mandibles flared into a smirk, and he easily retorted her own words back at her. "I did what I could. Your thanks aren't needed."

She smiled, _really_ smiled at him. And Garrus had to wonder why such a thing could make him feel so good. There were practically strangers. Weren't they? No, he realised. They weren't. They shared too much, they talked so easily. He decided it could be okay in this instance, to call her a friend.

* * *

 **A/N: Hey guys! Look at that, I'm on time, just as I promised! And in case anyone hasn't picked up my very-not-subtle hints, I'm pushing this towards eventually being a Garrus/Elaine pairing. Don't know why, but it's calling to me. Hope you guys enjoy it!**

 **So, I have some good news! There is some art for this story, done by myself. If you head over to my deviantart page, there are two pieces up. One is the visual representations of Elaine in her casual outfits. And the other is more of a poster/cover image, but it does depict Elaine in the Blood-Dragon Armour! Let's hope she get to do some proper damage with it ;)**

 **As always, please leave me some reviews! I love to hear and respond to all kinds of feedback, whether it be positive, constructive or just people asking questions. Until next week!**


	7. The Newbie

The next day, the Normandy was travelling once more. Elaine wasn't sure what it was they were sailing for, most of the crew said they were scanning for resources whilst they waited for the Illusive Man to send over the last Dossier. The Warden wasn't sure about a person who would call themselves by that title and not give their name – it made her like a dog with hackles raised, a sixth sense foretelling that something about this person wasn't right. But she had yet to meet the man, she reminded herself, so she couldn't judge until that time.

Yet it was some point after what passed for noon on the ship, when Shepard came to Elaine and told her that a new mission had just come up and he wanted to give her a test run. Immediately the Grey Warden felt the excitement of upcoming battle, yet also felt the nerves of performing for the first time officially as one of Shepard's squad… and in her new armour. She drilled Shepard for details on what situation they were getting into, and he was surprisingly complying. From what she could understand, he said that they had scouted a planet only to find a message saying that an abandoned mine was supposedly in trouble, with the workers missing. He didn't know what they would find, and so wanted her to be prepared for anything.

Elaine went up into the armoury, and thankfully Jacob was there to help her fit into the new armour piece by piece. She had a little trouble first and foremost with the tight-fitting chainmail they called a 'skin-suit'. The black material was comfortable and would serve as a cushion between her body and the many armour pieces, as well providing some of its own benefits, most of which went right over Elaine's head. Jacob had to help strap her in to it, which was a little mortifying, but thank the Maker she wore a little more than just her small clothes under it all. He then taught her how to assemble her armour so that next time she could do it by herself. Unfortunately, it was slow work to try and transfer over the runes from her old armour, but the man assured her he was working on a solution to the problem. Elaine didn't like to go into battle without her trusted runes, but decided to keep her mouth shut and be patient.

When she made it down to the cargo bay, all dressed up in her new armour and with her sword and shield strapped to her back (thanks to Jacob modifying the gun holders that were already there) Shepard and Garrus turned to watch her approach. It felt a little odd, to have them stare at her so. She was almost going to comment that they look away, when Shepard's lips twitched in the barest form of a smile and he nodded.

"It suits you." Was all he said.

Elaine was a little floored that he'd managed to utter a compliment without his face cracking.

The all climbed into the flying carriage that Elaine remembered had picked them up from Horizon. Though she was a little curious as to why it was only them three down and ready to leave. "Are we waiting for someone else? When I took companions, I always had three with me to have a balanced party."

"We have got a balanced party," Shepard said. "Garrus is long-range and precise shooting. I'm more middle distance and versatile between long and short range. And you are up-close-and-personal melee combat. Hopefully, that should help cover whatever we run into down there."

Elaine said nothing else and held on tight in her seat as they soared out towards their destination. The ever so slight bumps and jerks from the rough air still shook the Warden in place. But Shepard and Garrus adapted their weight to compensate as easily as breathing. It made her slightly envious of their ease, because she was just nauseous.

When their carriage finally stopped, Elaine could hear the slight pitter-patter of rain on the outside windows. When the door lifted open and the three stepped out, Elaine was met with a dusty brown-red world, as if all life had been burned away long ago. Water droplets fell from the heavens and Elaine felt a shiver go down her spine when one drop traced a path down behind her left ear. In front of them was a large stone doorway, which she believed to be the entrance to the mine. No one, other than a skeleton in the distant corner, came out to greet them. It was far too silent, the shadows far too deep for her liking.

"How quaint…" Elaine muttered sarcastically.

"It's not all that bad," Garrus stepped beside her with a shrug. "Little white fence over there, clear out the smell of rotting bodies, maybe throw in a few flowers and you've got prime real-estate material here."

Elaine laughed.

"Alright everyone, let's move out." Shepard commanded, and as fast as a click of fingers, the group formed, ready for battle. "We're here to find what happened to the staff and clear out whatever else is here. I'll take point, Garrus on my six. Elaine? You stay on my nine. If we encounter anything, I call the shots, understand?"

Elaine paused, mid-step, head cocked in confusion. "Six? Nine?"

Garrus shrugged and moved into position a metre or more behind Shepard. "Think of a clock face. Straight in front of you is your twelve, right behind you is your six."

"Oooooh." She nodded slowly, her frown deepening. "I may take a while to get used to that."

"You'll get it." Said Shepard.

They headed into the mine. Already the foul stench of stale air assaulted Elaine's nose and made her want to take shallow breath. It even felt worse than when she'd trudged through the tunnels leading to the Temple of Sacred Ashes. But she persisted through it. There was even a slight different feel to the air, a faint trace of sulphur, a dry and heated feel where it should have felt damp and cold. A copper hue interlaced the dreary grey walls. Upon heading through the entrance archway, the trio turned left down a steep ramp.

The Warden was the first to sense them coming. Her hardened battle instincts made her more aware of others. Perhaps it was the shuffling footfalls, or the slight creek of breath. A faint whisper of sound, barely worth noticing, but she did. Her shoulders and thighs tensed, and then movement came from around the corner. Shepard and Garrus held up their weapons at the ready. A humanoid figure stumbled into view, a mess of flesh and metal, a body barely held upright through a skeletal frame interlaced with bright tubes. A hoarse moan made through suction into the lungs rather than out made the hairs on the back of Elaine's neck stand on end. It was as if the body was desperate to take in any air, even when the lungs had no use for it, the body clinging to any semblance of life it could find. Empty, dead eye sockets watched her, glowing a fierce purple-white.

It was through the half-dead act that she recognised them.

"Undead!" she screamed.

"Husks!" Shepard shouted and fired.

Six of the undead came for them up the incline. Shepard and Garrus shot them down as they jumbled forwards, and Elaine held herself back – no matter how much it grated on her to do so. On Shepard's command, when the undead came just a little too close for comfort, Elaine sprang into battle. She literally leapt forward, bringing her sword back and her shield forward to use as a battering-ram. One undead fell, and her boot promptly caved in its head. Even though they looked different to how she remembered, the undead still dead just as quickly should enough of their body parts be removed.

Finally, when the last of them fell, the three re-joined in the centre of the carnage. Shepard looked about at the widely spread bodies, his eyes seemingly quietly disgusted. "Well, guess we know what happened to the miners."

Garrus shook his head. "Yeah, but we haven't seen any dragon's teeth – or any kind of spikes at all."

"No, which means another Reaper artefact is here." And then the human's eyes flickered up to Elaine. "You seem awfully calm about this, Elaine."

She looked back at Shepard evenly. Was she supposed to have some sort of special reaction? Unsure, she shrugged. "They are the undead. I have fought reanimated corpses before."

Garrus and Shepard both paused. They looked to each other, then back at her, expressions scrunched in confusion. Finally, Garrus scratched the back of his neck, brow-plates furrowed in befuddlement. "…do I even want to know?"

Shepard mirrored his friend's quiet cautious tone. "These aren't… err, _undead_ , Elaine. They're husks. The Reapers took innocent victims and twisted their bodies into these things."

"In either case, it matters not: they must still be returned to the void." Elaine nodded, turned on her heel and marched further down the passage. She heard the men rush to catch up with her. She allowed Shepard to take point once more, and paid them no mind. What she said was true, this was not something to hold special recognition over, it was business. At least to her.

Garrus stepped up beside her with a chuckle. "Cool under pressure, eh, tough girl?"

She smirked and tossed her ponytail over one shoulder, the way she'd seen girls at court do. "Tell me if it is ruining your style, Garrus."

"The pair of you can shut up… I'm ruining both your styles anyway." Shepard murmured in a tone that bordered on _almost amused_. Elaine thought her jaw was about to drop! But before he could give her more time to adjust, Shepard turned to regard them out of the corner of his eye. "Right. Elaine, I want you on point. You're the most effective at close-quarters combat here. If we see more husks, you're to engage immediately. Keep them off us so Garrus and I can shoot 'em down."

Starfang sang through the air as she twirled it in hand. "It is as you say."

It did not take them long to find another group of the undead Shepard called "husks". The tunnels crisscrossed into a labyrinth, which was made all the more confining as the group had to battle their way through it all. Elaine could feel the pulpy-congealing blood staining her neck and cheek, the blue and silver glow of her blade was drowned beneath the gore that covered it. Yet she did not give in to the discomfort, it was something that could be dealt with later. Behind her, the men were equally plastered with the mess of battle. Shepard had switched from his rapid-fire gun to a more stocky and powerful one-blast -at-a-time gun. It proved more effective at taking out the husks with one well aimed hit to the chest, though he had to allow them to get that close to have that effect.

"Scoped and dropped!" she heard Garrus call out with pride as a husk in the back of the chamber fell to the ground with its head almost completely obliterated. A pause, and then she heard him call out to her. "Elaine! On your five!"

Elaine kicked her current enemy off of her sword and turned to him, confused. "My what?"

The turian levelled his long gun at her. "Down!"

Panicked, she did as ordered and dropped to the floor. The thunder of his rifle almost deafened her, and she felt the rain of gore splatter across her back as an enemy fell. Before she had a chance to get back to her feet, the undead were on her. Elaine cursed herself for not being fast enough as she kicked away a hand on her ankle, punched wildly at teeth that tried to clamp on her fingers, and shrieked when something tugged on her hair. For some reason she couldn't get Starfang up, her wrist trapped beneath the weight of an entire body. Her shield she held close in front of her face to stop them smashing in her skull.

And then she heard the blasts of a powerful gun, and one by one the husks were thrown off her. One kicked her temple as it was cast aside. She saw stars. The next thing she knew, the group of husks were dead and gone, and Shepard stood over her, attempting to speak but the sounds were muted to her ears.

"…Elaine? You good?" she eventually heard him as her brain slowly focused once more.

She sat up, slowly when she realised how much her head was ringing. Eyes screwed shut, she shook away the pain. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Good." The commander bent low and offered her his hand. Taking it, she let him hoist her up to her feet. He thumped her shoulder-guard with his fist in an almost comradery kind of way. "Come on, we need you to keep moving."

Elaine stilled and stared at the man before her, hard eyes assessing his face to see if she could spot the edge of a mask she hadn't seen before. "Who are you and what have you done with Shepard?"

His face morphed into its almost-familiar scowl. "You wanna not give me shit and keep going?"

"That's a little more like it."

They carried on. Elaine counted backwards from ten to clear her dizziness as she followed Shepard. Garrus walked beside her. Elaine knew he was watching her because she could see the glow of blue light reflect on her armour from that thing he dangled in front of one eye.

"I believe that's two points to me, by the way." He murmured to her quietly. She looked over at him, brows furrowed. "One for killing the husk, another for having to save your life. I think my total after today's about… thirty-eight?"

Elaine's scowl deepened.

 _"_ _Shepard,"_ came EDI's voice through Shepard's tool. _"_ _I detect a powerful alien signature deep within the mines. It appears the device is the source of the Husks. It is likely that destroying it would stop them."_

At that moment, they came across a large central chamber. Desks, tables, equipment and even camping gear were all stuffed in various corners. Shepard immediately went over to the terminals and began to cipher through all the magical letters and diary entries. Elaine didn't know what to do so remained stood where she was. Garrus cast his avian eyes over the many tables filled with various pieces of equipment. "Gotta be demolition charges down here. We could use those?"

Shepard looked over and nodded to his friend. "Good idea. Take 'em and let's go."

It didn't take them long to find the items they required. Little boxes with buttons and flashing lights on one side. Elaine was confused as to how such things would aid them in their quest. But judging from the details she managed to pick up in the conversation between Garrus and Shepard, she figured it worked much like the Qunari Gaatlok powder. Sten had told her about it once, and also explained how the Qunari would never share it with anyone not of the qun. She wondered how Shepard or anyone else in this world or future managed to make the Qunari relinquish it.

They travelled down more deserted and dark tunnels, though this time the path was more linear, as if the miners knew exactly where they wanted to go, like they knew what would be on the other side. The path became narrower and more confining, and the more the silence reigned supreme the more on edge the group became. As if sensing this, Garrus was the first one to break the tension. "So, Elaine, you said you fought ' _undead_ ' before. Care to elaborate?"

She cast him a raised brow over her shoulder. "I thought you didn't want to know."

"I admit, I'm curious myself." Piped up Shepard from the front.

"Rotting corpses can sometimes be reanimated through magic. They drag themselves along looking to devour fresh victims."

Shepard snorted. "Sounds like something off an old cheesy vid."

Elaine didn't understand what the words meant, but nodded anyway. "There's also the powers of demonic spirits that can cause it."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaand now we're back to crazy." Muttered Garrus.

The Warden grinned. "Not even someone as crazy as Jack could come up with half the shit in my head."

"You're not really selling it to us that you're sane, you know that? Stick to killing things, Elaine, you're good at it."

"You sound like my brother."

Shepard turned most of his upper body to watch her curiously. "I didn't know you had a brother."

"I might not know where I am currently, Shepard, but that doesn't mean I appeared from nothing." She commented dryly. And then her voice grew distant, a heaviness in her heart eating its way into her tone. "I had a family, once. A mother and father… a brother and his wife… and my nephew. My little Oren."

"What were they like?" Garrus asked softly.

Suddenly there was a lump in her throat that made it difficult to breathe. She coughed loudly to try and dislodge it. "We lived a good and happy life. Father and brother taught me the ways of battle and diplomacy. My mother wished me to marry well and start a family… And then when Oren came along – Fergus used to say you only ever had to look to my shadow, and Oren would be there."

"I'm sure they'll be happy to see you again when you go home." Said Shepard.

Silence. The lump was suddenly suffocating her. "Come. Let us keep moving."

They carried on in silence. Elaine attempted to bring herself back under control. Damnit, she thought she'd buried her grief long ago. Yet apparently it still haunted her, she couldn't even picture their faces without feel that pit inside her stomach threaten to swallow her up like water down a drain. She didn't want to speak of her family. Not to these people – she had hardly spoken about it with Alistair, whom she had trusted above all others. Perhaps one day the wound would not seem so deep, for now it still bled with the greatest intensity even after all this time.

The tunnel ended in a central chamber. In the centre lay a towering structure jutting out of the stone and soil. Black and sleekly curved, a faint glow permeated from a sphere at its centre. A dreadful vibration echoed from it, so low as to not be heard, but still equally felt enough that one's breastbone ached from the assault. Light seemed to shed from it in time with the pulses, casting flickering shadows over every jagged rock and stone wall face. The undead prowled and crawled along the edges of the stone walls, seeming to be drawn to the ugly light like crazed zealots, yet also repelled by its strength.

The three invaders hunkered down at the entrance to the chamber, for now unnoticed. Shepard glanced back at his companions and whispered. "Garrus, set the bomb. Elaine, you and I hold the line."

She nodded, her mind now focused back on the task and away from its morbid thoughts. "It shall be done."

Elaine sprinted into the thick of the husks with a great war-cry. Her father had taught her in the ways of the Champion, and her loud shout seemed to bolster Shepard and Garrus into moving faster, fighting harder, as well as making her enemies recoil under the force of the noise. Garrus moved from leg to leg of the huge artefact, setting up the explosives. Shepard and Elaine cut through the horde of undead. The Warden bashed with her shield and knelt to slice her sword through an enemy's abdomen and struck it in two. The Commander switched from all different weapons in each hand as he fought at her back and shot the heads off of husks left and right. They moved around one another as if they'd fought side by side for years, stepping around each other, working to the other's advantages and weaknesses as if they sensed such things before they happened. The pair turned, and simultaneously caught something out of the corner of their eyes.

"Elaine! On your three–!"

"–Shepard! Above you!"

They struck simultaneously. Elaine's shield came up to cover Shepard's head, her sword striking upwards to plunge the tip through the neck of a husk. Shepard leaned to one side and brought up his pistol to shoot three bullets into the skull of a husk far too close for comfort. Finally, their enemies lay dead, and the pair looked to each other, true appreciation in their eyes in a way that only warriors could say. They nodded their respect to the other.

"Bomb's all set! Let's go!" Garrus shouted and ran straight past them for the exit. Shepard and Elaine wasted no time and fought hard to catch up with him.

They ran down the tunnels, and far behind them they heard the resounding _boom_ of an explosion. Elaine jumped for it caught her off guard. She had never heard a Qunari Gaatlok explosive before; it sounded a little different from the explosion a Mage's fireball made. It still didn't stop her running, though. The walls trembled as the aftershocks crashed through them like stormy waves in the ocean. Pieces of boulder fell from the ceiling, threatening to crush all unfortunate enough to be caught beneath them. Shepard and the others zigzagged left and right as the maze became more complicated. The Commander led the way, guided by his map on his tool. Elaine gritted her teeth and followed him despite the burn beginning in her thighs.

Finally, they leapt out through the archway and open air loomed over them. The flying-carriage waited patiently exactly where they had left it, and the three didn't slow down an inch as they barrelled through its open doors. It wasn't until they were up in the air and soaring away from the wretched place that Elaine, or anyone else for that matter, sighed with relief.

The Warden slouched into a seat, a relieved smile playing at her features for another day spent alive. Perhaps she might even catch a quick nap in the carriage-ride back to the Normandy. Or, she would have, had a voice not interrupted her. "Elaine? Can we talk?"

One eye cracked open, Elaine spied the Commander stood over her. Disguising her sigh as a cough, Elaine sat up straighter and gave the man her full attention. "Of course, Shepard. Is anything the matter?"

"No, I just, um, I wanted to say you did good out there today." Shepard said, rubbing the back of his neck that communicated very clearly how awkward he felt. "I mean it. Your fighting style is a… unique and… valued asset to this team."

Elaine's eyebrows furrowed in suspicion. "Where is all this coming from?"

Shepard sighed and seemed to decide to just spit it all out. "Look, I know I'm a hard ass. And I also know that I probably was a little unfair what you first came aboard the Normandy."

"A little?"

"Don't rub it in." he snapped. "What I'm trying to say, is that all that changes now. You're a member of my crew. You've proven yourself and you work well in the team, so that makes you one of mine. From now on you'll be treated as such."

For a moment, Elaine questioned herself on how she should respond. This was rather out of character for Shepard, to the point that she was unaware if she should rejoice at the change or demand it return to something she was more familiar with. In truth, she was touched by his declaration. It seemed that there was a good man underneath all of that testosterone-induced-aggression. She hadn't dared hoped to believe it. Would this mean she could hope for better in the future? "I… thank you, Shepard."

"I'll reiterate of course, that this does not mean you get a free pass to do whatever shit you feel like doing. My orders are still the ones you follow, and at the end of the day it's my job to make the final decision. Are we clear?"

"Perfectly."

* * *

They made it back to the Normandy, and Elaine found herself restless after she'd stripped herself of her armour and weapons and changed back into her casuals. The thoughts of the day still seemed a little heavy on her mind, and in times like this she liked to walk it off. During the Blight, if her mind needed to deliberate on a dilemma or simply think on their next move or ruminate on the past, she would walk around the entire circumference of their camp, doing circuits until the problem resolves itself in her mind. She felt the need to do that now. She started with the CIC deck, and simply strolled around, careful to not get in anyone's way, even saying hello and exchanging pleasantries with a few people.

When she came up the corridor that led to Joker's area of the ship – the helm, she guessed it was – the pilot seemed to sense her coming and turned his chair around to completely face her. "Hey there, Elaine, you look good – better than good."

"Joker," Elaine said slowly; it made her uneasy the way Joker was smiling so smugly, much like the cat who swallowed the canary. "Is there something going on that I don't know about? Everyone seems far too _agreeable_ with me lately."

The man's brows shot upwards towards the brim of his hat. "Oh, really? In what way, exactly?"

"Such as Shepard having some decency and treating me with kindness. And that now I am 'officially' a member of the crew."

"Good. I knew that son of a bitch would come through."

She blinked, confused. "What is it you know about this, Joker?"

"Well, I know Shepard." He shrugged. "Been with him longer than anybody else, since the beginning, actually. So I can give you my honest opinion: he's a dick."

Elaine couldn't help it, she snorted rather loudly as she tried to swallow back her laughter.

"No, I'm serious, he's a complete dick! To a stranger, or anyone who pisses him off – or anyone in politics, for that matter – he's a cold-hearted and ruthless bastard. He's not sensitive to your needs or will cuddle you like you're a baby duckling. He says what's on his mind, keeps you at arm's length and lets you know that any minute now, his foot is gonna connect with your ass."

EDI's sphere-head popped up beside Joker's elbow. " _I believe you are paraphrasing a movie from 2176, Mr Moreau. Titled–"_

"Err, excuse me?" Joker shot the sphere a murderous glare. "Just shut up!"

They're conversation was lost on Elaine, who decided to steer it back to the task at hand. "Why is Shepard this way? Why be so cruel?"

"It's the way he's always been. He grew up on the streets as a kid, ran with gangs, did a lot to survive when life was that rough. Personally? I don't blame him. You grow up someplace like that, you're bound to treat the world like shit after the way it's treated you."

Elaine took a moment to consider this. Perhaps it was like the elven boys from the alienage, taken to a life of crime to support themselves because poverty was all they knew. Her heart had bled for them then, and it bled for Shepard now. That was no way for a child to be raised, and considering those circumstances, she guessed that she agreed with Joker. No one could blame Shepard for his attitude after such a horrid childhood.

"But what about his crew?" she asked. "Shepard doesn't seems to treat his crew like that."

"Well, you'd think that because you weren't here before. Shepard cared back _then_. You see to Shepard, his crew are his people, his gang, his family. He thinks of things in a ' _us and them'_ mentality. When you're on the outside looking in, you gotta hope for some way in 'cause otherwise Shepard will trample you. But if you're in with us? Shepard would die for you. Ain't nothing gonna stop that. Well… that is, unless you call him a traitor and a backstabber, then you're fair game. Like Kaidan."

"But why?"

Joker looked away, evidently uncomfortable. "He… um, well–"

" _Shepard was part of a mission on the planet Akuze_." Said EDI matter-of-factly. " _From the reports, he was well acquainted with his team-mates to the point of deep friendship. The entire team was killed by Thresher Maws. Shepard was the only survivor. Miss Chambers' theory is that Shepard clings to his crew because he blames himself for the deaths of those previously under his command."_

"Hey! Nice going, bobblehead! Anyone ever tell you about sensitivity? Geez!" Joker shouted at the ghostly image beside him.

The orb seemed to consider itself a moment. " _It seems I have breached a unspoken rule of mannerism and said something I supoosedly was prohibited from saying."_

"No kidding! You don't think that sounded a little cold?"

 _"_ _I shall commit more processing time into studying the organic code of conduct when it comes to matters such as this."_ And just like that, EDI left them. Joker groaned and ran his fingers over his tired face.

Elaine bit her lip in thought. Shepard had lost people, friends and loved ones, to a horrific tragedy. She didn't know what a Thresher Maw was, but from the context, perhaps it was some kind of animal? In either case, she knew his pain, and it made some of his actions seem a lot less cruel in her eyes. Obviously, it didn't excuse all his actions, but it made her more aware. "So why should I be included now?"

"Well, because I told him to."

One brow raised itself sceptically. " _You_ told him to?"

"Hell yeah. I told him that if he didn't pack his shit in, I'd sic Kelly on him with four-hour-long mandatory therapy sessions." Joker grinned mischievously. "You're good. A little on the crazy side and you scare the hell out of me with that sword, but I think you're one of us. I thought it time Shepard saw that so we can stop tiptoeing around the elephant in the room and actually get on with it."

That smile that came to her was warm and genuine, and made her want to sweep the man up and into a hug. The fact that Shepard had told her several times that he would take no funny-business from anyone, would allow his crippled pilot to order him around like a scolding mother was testament to their long friendship and gave more evidence to Joker's words. "And what makes you so sure I'm so good?"

"I'm a good judge of character – well, at least _I_ think so."

"Then I must thank you, Joker. Thank you indeed; I hope I prove worthy of it."

"Yeah? You won't be thanking me after the hundredth time Shepard tells you: ' _I should go'_."

* * *

 **A/N: Yes, I know it's a shorter chapter then usual. But I've had a REALLY busy week, and I wanted to give you guys a chapter on time. Plus, I'm taking a trip tomorrow, so I need to get everything ready!**

 **Please review! All comments welcome!**


	8. The Quarian

A week later, and Elaine was already gritting her teeth.

The ship had arrived in a new destination that Elaine could instantly tell had the rest of the crew nervous. They were here to recruit their last team member, and perhaps Elaine was to expectant, for when Shepard announced they were going ground-side, she fully expected to join him. However, he refused. Apparently, this world was filled with enemies called 'The Geth', and because of that reason alone, Elaine was not allowed on this mission. Even when she had Shepard explain it all to her, she didn't quite understand. The Geth were ' _synthetics_ ' which meant they were beings made of metal long ago created by the Quarians. Elaine gathered that meant they were golems, and voiced her ability to handle golems well enough on her own. Shepard again refused, and insisted that her abilities would be ineffective. According to him, in this world golems needed to be killed specifically with electricity based spells and projectiles to disrupt the ' _Pruh-o-gramm'_ inside. Elaine thought that meant the soul inhabiting the golem, or perhaps something else, as Shepard began to spill forth words that made absolutely no sense to her.

In either case, the matter was clear: she would not be going on this mission.

Frustration made her insides burn. Throughout the year that she had lead her party during the Blight, she had gone on every mission, controlled almost every situation, always been in the loop on information. Constant fighting helped keep her sharp and fit, talking with her companions had helped her to feel grounded and her mind equally sharp to suit their every need and make them all work together. That way of life has a way of leaving an impact on a soul, to the point that they cannot live otherwise. So now, it was extremely aggravating for Elaine to have to sit back at any point, to not know everything that was happening, to be so useless. She needed to have her body moving, her muscles working, her lungs burning. There was no other way for her to exist, it was a demand in her body, in her blood, and her poor pillow suffered the consequences terribly when she punched the void out of it in order to try and vent some of the frustration.

Perhaps she was behaving like a spoiled brat. It felt like it. _Maker_ , she needed an outlet.

Elaine tried to focus herself, to find something to do. If the Normandy was Shepard's equivalent to her own camps back in Ferelden, then she needed to act here as she acted then. Talk to people, get to know people, find things out, and then she could gather knowledge to better use later. It looked as if Shepard didn't make the usual rounds with his crew as Elaine used to with her companions. After every quest, every time they returned to camp, she would do a circuit of their encampment and speak to everyone individually in order to get a sense of how they were holding up, to build trust. Shepard seemed to be holding back from this duty, so Elaine decided she would pick up his slack.

She worked her way from the CIC downwards. Joker was pleasant as always, and his arguments with EDI bordered on hilarious. Kelly was chatty and gossiping about everyone in the crew, almost to the point where Elaine almost rebuked her for perhaps alluding to things that people might want to keep private. Mordin Solus was polite but ultimately busy. Jacob was very courteous with her, and they spoke about the mission, their odds against it, and the general feeling through the ship. Down on the Crew Deck, Elaine spent the best part of an hour with Kasumi, just chatting away almost about nothing – mostly on the various stories behind the collection of objects that adorned the thief's room. Out in the mess hall, Elaine ran into both Thane and Samara and sat down to join them over a cup tea to discuss religion of all things – from both of them, Elaine had the astounding feeling that their faiths (in various forms) really motivated their work. The Warden tried her hardest to speak with Miranda but the woman barely said more than two words which were not extremely business-like. Dr Chakwas was happy to chat, even if she did manage to force in a medical examination as well. Shepard had taken Garrus and Zaeed with him, so there was no point in going to try and find them. Down in Engineering, Elaine first and foremost went to Gabby and Ken, and managed to persuade the pair of them to teach her how their native game of 'poker' was played – which surprised Elaine how much it resembled Wicked Grace! Jack was a little harder to get words out of, but eventually, Elaine managed to ask her about her tattoos… and some of the unhappier tales behind them. Finally, the Grey Warden found herself in front of Grunt, and though the lumbering behemoth was not one for words, Elaine did manage to get out of him why Kasumi had called him a baby (because he was 'Tank-Bred', apparently the future allowed babies to be _made_ and didn't need a womb); right before she distracted him with tales of dragons, to which he looked it up on his 'tool, and began to hop with excitement as he announced his intention to battle a High Dragon bare-handed!

With no one else to talk to, Elaine once again found herself fidgeting with un-spent energy. Fists clenched and relaxed in a constant rhythm. Her weight shifted from foot to foot. Errantly, she turned her gaze this way and that to try and crack her neck. That's when her eyes peered through the glass on her left and pierced the gloom within. She saw the cargo-hold spread out beneath like an arena floor. Crates and supplies were stashed to one end, on the opposing side was a blank space where the flying-carriage would sit. And now revealed just behind it, was equipment that Elaine could only describe as for the purpose of fitness. She didn't recognise all of them, but the hanging bag filled with sand was particularly familiar.

Elaine grinned. Her outlet had just been found.

* * *

Kal'Reeger looked forlornly through his blue mask, his bright eyes lingering on Tali. Shepard waited, and tried not to roll his right shoulder – his nervous tick when he became anxious. But what was bothering him most right now? He wasn't sure. Finally, Reeger looked to the human Commander. "She's all yours now, Shepard. Keep her safe."

Shepard nodded and watched as Reeger slowly limped his way out of the bunker. Garrus took the moment to distract Tali by welcoming her back to the crew with open arms – though she had a few choice words to say about his face. To hear them reunite so happily, it made Shepard want to turn around and join them in full force. But he couldn't. Things weren't the same anymore, no matter how much it hurt him to think it. Tali no longer looked at him as she once did, he remembered that too well from Freedom's Progress. And what's more, they could all die on this mission. What was the point of healing wounds and reaffirming old bonds when your friends could very well die anyway? No, it was too much to bear. Calling into the Normandy for pick up, Shepard announced they were to move out.

A small, delicate hand grabbed hold of his shoulder, and Tali's small quivering voice sounded behind him. "Shepard, _please_ , can we talk?"

It was how she begged him, like a child hoping to placate an angry parent. It tore at what was left of his heart, and refused to make him take another step away from her. Damn it. Tali had always been like a little sister he just had to protect from nearly everything. She knew that. Perhaps that's why she made it so hard to walk away from her. God knows it had been bad enough back on Freedom's Progress.

He signalled Garrus and Zaeed to go on ahead and secure the route back to the shuttle. When they were finally alone, Shepard slowly turned around to regard the small quarrian female. Dear lord, she'd changed so much… She now held herself like a confident woman in her prime, not the nervous girl barely into adulthood that he remembered. Her hood was different, no longer long and flowing, but short and sat on her shoulders. She appeared older, yet right now she still ran her hands over each other in a constant agitated mood. Shepard steeled himself and crossed his arms to look her square in the eyes, the commander mask firmly in place. "What's the matter, Tali?"

The light on her mouth-piece flickered as she tried to control her breathing. "I… I'm so sorry, Shepard – about what happened on Freedom's Progress. I–"

"It's like you said," her cut her off, to the point. He looked to the floor, unable to stop the small twinge of bitterness as he recalled her excuse. "You couldn't let anyone else take your spot on this mission."

"No! No… it's more than that." She took a step forward, glowing white eyes beseeching him through her mask. "I should have trusted you. You were my commander, my friend. I knew better than to second-guess you."

"So why did you?" his voice and eyes were hard on hers.

"Because we lost you, Shepard. I thought you were a dream – not long after we… after you were announced dead… I used to dream you came back. And when I awoke you weren't there. It hurt."

"Feels like a dream to me, too…"

"And then you show up, two years late–"

"It wasn't like that for _me_." He hissed. Tali tried to squash down her gasp, but he'd heard it. The Commander closed his eyes and took a slow breath. Great, now his closest friends feared him as well as distrusted him. Another little piece of his soul died. "I was the one who woke up and thought it had been a good few weeks at worst. I thought you'd all still be here."

"And you come with Cerberus?"

"How can you say you should've trusted me, yet still question me on that?"

"Cerberus almost blew up one of the ships in the Migrant Fleet. I nearly lost a lot of people. I want to believe you wouldn't join them if you knew that."

"I told you the mission, what was at stake, why I'm forced with Cerberus. Even now you don't like that I'm with them. Why come with me?"

Another step towards him, until she had to tilt her head right back in order to look him in the eye. "I'm here for _you._ Not for them. It will always be for you."

A lump formed in Shepard's throat but he forced it down. No. He couldn't break now. But the revelation seemed to at least ease a weight. Even if it was only replaced by a growing weight of dread in his stomach. "… You were just afraid."

"It doesn't excuse what I did. I'm sorry. So please don't shut me out over this, Shepard."

"You're on my team, aren't you?"

"Don't give me that!" she spat back, suddenly angry. "I know the difference between being one of the crew – and being one of _YOUR_ crew! I was one once. I know how hard it is to get back on your good side."

Her hand reached up to touch his shoulder, and he watched the way her eyes creased with unshed tears. A slight tremble coursed through her shoulders… he could hear the quiet sharp intakes of breath that always happened when she cried. He closed his eyes against the way his gut twisted. God, don't let her cry, he wouldn't be able to bear it if she cried. As it was, his stoic and cold façade was beginning to crack.

"Shepard… _James_ … You were family to me." She whispered. "Maybe you can't understand it, it's a Quarian thing–"

"I understand perfectly." The hushed words were out before he could stop them. "You were all family to me too."

"Then please, accept my apology. I beg for your forgiveness – I just want you back. I want you all back!"

He couldn't take it. He wanted his crew – his _real_ crew – back with him more than anything in the galaxy. Part of him was angry, he loathed himself for being so selfish that he would send Tali, Garrus, Joker, Chakwas, all of them, to their deaths just so he could keep them around a little longer. But to hell with it, he might be alone on the ship when he ignored them thereafter, but at least he wouldn't be completely stranded without them anymore. He nodded.

"Oh! Thank you! Thank you, Shepard. Thank you so much! I won't let you down, I promise!"

She was flailing about so much she threw her arms around his waist and pulled him into a bear-hug. She showed surprising strength for someone so small. Shepard stiffened under her touch, unsure what to do. It had been so long since someone had shown him affection like this – not since being in Liara's arms before the first Normandy was destroyed. How sad could his mental state have truly become that the simplest of touches baffled him? But slowly, he couldn't stop the dwindling flame of warmth in his stomach from flickering with renewed life. His arms slowly enveloped the little quarrian, and he embraced her.

* * *

By the time Elaine had finished with the fitness equipment (and having to ask EDI about how to use most of it) that lasted hours, and then a shower and change of clothes, Elaine was confident in feeling a little more human. At last, the restlessness seemed to have left her body. Perhaps now she could relax a little. Whilst she'd been busy, she'd heard it announced that Shepard had returned and they were already underway to their next location. If so, she hoped that she could be included on the team once more.

Elaine's warden appetite made itself known well into what passed for evening on the ship, so she made her way to the dinning-hall in the hope to raid the larder whilst Gardner might be away. It was when she turned the corner that she realised that a stranger had already beaten her to it.

A vision of purples, silvers and blacks wove together in an intricate pattern across clothing that spanned over a tall and slim figure. Not an inch of skin could be seen, not even at the seams where different pieces of clothing must over-lap. Elaine recognised the slender three fingered hands and the bent-backwards legs. A Quarian, like the one she had freed from enslavement on Illium. This one was different, her hood was bunched to sit on her shoulders; and when she turned her face just enough for Elaine to see, the glass mask that covered her face was a gorgeous violet. The Quarian woman stood at the counter (which was absent of Gardner as Elaine had suspected) and seemed to be preparing herself some food.

Elaine slowly walked towards the stranger, entranced by the beauty in each line of her suit, yet was cautious so as to not frighten her away. Finally, she seemed close enough, and gently cleared her throat. The Quarian's back stiffened, and she turned to fix glowing bright eyes behind her mask onto the strange woman before her. A silence held as the two seemed to study each other intently.

At last, Elaine offered a warm smile and extended her hand. "Greetings, I am Elaine Cousland."

"Are you with Cerberus?" came an accented voice through a glowing-bulb in the helmet.

"Oh no, certainly not. Shepard found me on Horizon."

"Ah, yes, he mentioned you." The three fingered hand hesitantly reached forward to shake Elaine's. "Tali'Zorah vas Neema."

The Warden blinked. Maker, that was a bit of a mouthful. "What would you prefer I called you?"

"'Tali' will do."

Elaine could tell the woman was wary, just waiting for her to make a mistake and brand her an enemy. She didn't want that, not if she could help it. Leliana had once told her the secrets of bards, how they used body language to interpret the hidden agendas of their targets. The Warden used all of that advice now, completely relaxing her posture, turning her front ever so slightly away, and leaning her body against the counter between her and Tali, intentionally making herself shorter than the Quarian so as to appear as non-threatening as possible. "You are the new requite Shepard sent for today, yes?"

"Yes." Tali seemed to perk up a little, respond subconsciously to Elaine's signals and lose her guard. It was confirmed when the Quarian chortled with an indication to Elaine. "And he said you were a sword-wielding maniac."

"Ah, my reputation precedes me," Elaine did her best interpretation of Alistair's dramatic flair, complete with a wide arced arm that landed on her chest. It earned her another amused sound. She nodded to a tray of food in front of the Quarian. "I see you are hungry?"

"Yes. I do hope the food is better here. I remember it being awful on the first Normandy."

Tali moved towards the table and sat. Elaine watched her, not moving from her spot. "It's rationed food. That should tell you everything."

"Good point." Hesitation plagued her for only a moment, and then the Quarian woman gestured towards the seat opposite her. "Care to join me?"

"If you do not mind."

Elaine struggled to hide her pleased grin as she hurriedly snatched up a tray and any pieces of food she recognised from the fridge and other assorted cupboards. Which happened to be quite a bit. Once her tray was filled mostly with breads, fruits, and most importantly cheeses, she headed back to Tali and slid in opposite her new friend.

The warden began to dig in whole heartedly, when she suddenly realised Tali was staring at her. "Keelah, will you eat all of that?"

Elaine didn't like to feel self-conscious about her food, but still had to remind herself that new people wouldn't be aware of her Warden-Appetite. "Nothing wrong with a growing girl getting her fill."

"And not have to watch your weight all the time? I wish I were that lucky."

"The secret to maintaining a good figure, is to fight often and admit one is fabulous three quarters of the time."

"Only three quarters?"

Flipping her gold hair over her shoulder, Elaine gave a haughty shrug. "One has to squeeze in a _little_ humility."

Tali laughed. "You're good – now I know you aren't with Cerberus. They don't tend to hire charming people – take a look at Miranda."

"What about Joker?"

"That Bosh'tet likes to compensate for something by _thinking_ he's funny."

" _Your words hurt, Tali?"_ came Joker's voice suddenly above them. _"_ _They do hurt."_

"I'm sure you'll get over it!"

The pair of them giggled as Joker sulkily grumbled to himself before going silent once more. Elaine liked the fact that this new woman seemed to be warming to her so well. She could always tell when she could really get on with someone and become friends. It used to drive Morrigan bonkers when she refused to leave her alone, pestering her almost every night until the sour witch finally gave in. Tali wasn't like any of her original companions, she was good natured and sweet yet feisty. Elaine really wanted to get to know her, befriend her, learn about her.

"So, what brings you to the Normandy, Elaine?" Tali asked amicably once they'd calmed a little.

"I don't think you would believe me – everyone else keeps making comments that I'm crazy."

"You're with Shepard, that doesn't say much for your sanity to begin with."

The Grey Warden smiled, for she couldn't argue with that. And so she told Tali her story. Or rather, her selected version of it. It made her gut twist to have to lie, but the cunning part of her mind told her it was for the best, so she followed it. She told Tali of how she was 'unsure' where her homeland was, as all she could remember was waking up on the world of Horizon just before the Collector attack on the colony. She briefly went into the fact that she was technologically behind, seeing as her home had none of the advancements that everyone else in this place seemed to enjoy. Tali sat silently, avidly, throughout it all, only making small noises to show her awe or wonder at certain twists in the tale, such as Elaine being immune to the Seeker Swarms before attacking groups of Collectors in an attempt to reclaim the lost colonists. With each word that passed her lips, Elaine felt her spirits begin to fall into the grim reality that was surrounding their venture, having been reminded of exactly what this mission was all about.

"Wow… That… that's a lot to take in." Tali finally breathed out. "I can't imagine what it must've been like to watch the Collectors take so many people on Horizon."

Elaine glared into the smooth metal of the table, as if she was the only one who could see some imperfection there and could burn it out with her heated stare. "It was hard to know I wasn't fast enough to save them all."

"And now we're going after them with everything we've got." The Quarian grabbed her attention by reaching out a hand across the table, though didn't touch her. "I overheard Shepard on the way back here. The Illusive Man has an urgent mission for us. I think you'll have your chance to repay the Collectors in full."

Elaine held up her glass of water, which Tali mimicked with her cup and long tube-instrument she called an ' _emergency-induction-port_ '. "I'll toast to that."

"We're drinking? Why does no one every invite me to these things."

They both turned as Garrus walked down towards them from his usual post in the main-battery. Elaine offered him a smile of welcome. His tone, his words, even the way he swaggered seemed to bring back the humour and light-heartedness Elaine had thought was banished a moment ago. Filling up his own plate of dinner, he set his place at the table, beside Elaine.

Tali's bright eyes fixed on Garrus, but by the tone of her voice, Elaine knew she was teasing good-naturedly. "We didn't think girl-talk would be your style, Garrus."

"Define girl-talk?" he asked, head cocked like a bird.

Elaine shrugged. "We're talking about killing things and saving the day."

The Quarian whipped on her with a hiss. "Elaine!"

"What? We are!"

"Yes, but the point is to make him go away with the idea of 'girl-talk'."

The Warden blinked, now thoroughly confused. "Yes, but what _is '_ girl-talk'?"

Garrus chuckled. "If we're talking about killing things, I'm all in. I am the Master, after all."

"That's what you think." Tali snorted.

All three of them dug into their meals with enthusiasm. Elaine relished the feeling of eating with company. Life was almost a little lonely on board this vessel if one did not actively go out seeking companionship or conversation. Crew members ate in rotations, but squad members came and went when their hungers suited them, and then retreated to their own spaces aboard the ship to eat, usually. Elaine hadn't actually sat down to eat with people for what felt like a long time. It was so different to how she remembered evenings being at camp with her own friends: two having spent hours preparing a meal, and then all of them sitting around the fire and eating together, talking, discussing, sometimes arguing. Like a family. The Normandy seemed to be wanting in that regard, and Elaine made a mental note to change that in the future.

"Hmm…" she hummed to herself as she spied something on Garrus's plate. It looked like a piece of meat, possibly even stake, except for the fact that it was _silver-blue!_ "I don't think I've ever seen food like that before… what is it?"

His brows quirked, surprised by her sudden interest. "It's ardian meat – or what passes for it. I think it's the equivalent of a bovine to humans?"

"It has a… _unique_ … smell." Elaine murmured, for truly it smelt like a mixture between cabbage and sugar. "I wonder why I've never tried it."

Garrus stared at her as if the answer should be obvious. "You can't. It's dextro-food."

"What does that mean?"

"Errr, Elaine?" Tali asked slowly, as if the human woman had suddenly sprouted a second head. "Quarians and Turians can only eat dextro foods."

When Elaine continued to just stare at them, Garrus sighed and murmured to Tali. "I told you, she's a blank slate."

"But I didn't think you meant it literally! Keelah, where has she been hiding?"

A flicker of light had all three of them startled as Kasumi appeared right next to Elaine's elbow. Tali squeaked, Garrus tensed, and Elaine tried very hard not to let her elbow fly-up in a knee-jerk reaction. Kasumi draped her arms around Elaine's shoulders in a strangling-hug. "Don't listen to them, my little laney-waney! You're perfect just as you are!"

Garrus' eyes twinkled in amusement, his mandibles fluttering as he tried to hold back laughter. "Laney-waney?"

Elaine shot him a withering look and extracted herself from Kasumi's grip. "If you could explain this, Kasumi, I'd appreciate not looking like the fool."

"Mordin could answer it better. But very well." The master thief shrugged. "There are two types of DNA: Dextro-Amino, and Levo-Amino."

"What's DNA?"

"It's something in your blood, Elaine." Garrus provided. "A… _blueprint_ , if you like. Your height, hair-colour, body structure, everything that could be determined at birth is in your DNA."

"Humans, Asari, Salarians, etc, are all Levo-Amino acid based lifeforms. Turians and Quarians are the only Dextro-Aminos that we know of. It means their entire bodies are structured completely differently to you or me."

Elaine blinked rapidly as she tried to keep a hold of the thoughts attempting to make a break for it and run right over her head. "I think I understand… but what does that have to do with food?"

The turian shrugged. "Well, depends on how allergic you are to that sort of thing."

"Allergic?!" the warden spluttered.

Tali decided it was an opportune moment to step in and smooth things over. "Levos and Dextros are completely different to each other. We can't just eat each other's foods. If you were to eat Dextro, or if I ate Levo food, at best the food could pass through us without giving any nutrition at all. At worst, we could get very sick, possibly even die from the allergic reaction."

"And maybe we'll all die for sure if Gardner gets any worse at cooking." Garrus joked.

They all settled down. Kasumi only stayed long enough to steal Elaine's apple and eat it herself, whilst introducing herself to Tali. The two seemed to get along pleasantly enough, and Elaine was content to watch them in comfortable silence. Garrus seemed to feel the same beside her as he continued to eat his dinner. After some time, Kasumi left them with a flashy farewell and disappeared into thin air.

"So I take it you two know each other?" Elaine asked and pointed between her two table-companions.

Tali practically beamed with pride. "Oh yes, Garrus and I go as far back as serving on the original Normandy two years ago."

"There was another Normandy?"

Garrus grimaced. "Yes… but that one blew up, thanks to the Collectors."

"And Cerberus gave us this lovely new replacement." Tali said with a grand gesture to the shining silver and grey halls around them.

"Say what you want about Cerberus, but they know how to build ships. I mean, just look at our main guns. And I thought I'd seen every weapon in the galaxy in our fight against Saren."

Elaine nibbled her lip thoughtfully. "Shepard mentioned the tale to me of how he vanquished the former–champion, Saren? He only briefly went over it, and didn't divulge details. You two were there with him?"

"We were even there for the final battle!" Tali proclaimed.

Garrus grinned with equal excitement at the memory. "Yes, fighting our way through the Geth on Ilos, a lost planet beyond a lost Relay, and then through some more over what felt like the whole damn Citadel. Good times."

The Warden couldn't help but smile wistfully. The way they spoke of it reminded her so much of how her father used to regale her with stories of his time in the war against the Orlesians. Even when she now knew of the horrible realities of war, there was still something pleasant in listening to good battle-tales. "Sounds like a hell of a fight."

"Oh, it was. But not one of the strangest."

"Are you thinking the Rachni or the Thorian?" Tali inquired. "Rachni was definitely worst for me."

"No, the Thorian was a talking plant!" Garrus exclaimed incredulously. He turned on Elaine, his movements becoming animated as he lost himself in telling the story. "Shepard had brought us to this colony under attack from the Geth. We went in, and discovered that a business set up there had been studying this lifeform – a plant, that could infect people's minds! I'll never get that thing outta my nightmares – it was disgusting."

"You think _that_ was worse than fighting through icy tunnels cramped hallways against giant spider-things?!" The Quarian lifted her hands in exaggerated claws raking through the air for added effect.

Elaine nodded gravely. "I definitely agree with Tali. Death to all the giant spiders. Those things are a menace."

"Thank you!" she said, and then seemed to realise what the human had implied. "Wait, what? You've actually encountered _giant spiders?!"_

"More times than I can count. I hate the things. And before that, I was even frightened of the littler ones back home!"

"No way..." Garrus murmured slowly, a broad grin growing across his face as his mandibles stretched wider to show off his sharp teeth. His eyes were practically howling with laughter at her as he leaned closer. "My fearsome little tough girl, able to take down a platoon of Collectors almost single-handedly… is afraid of itty-bitty _spiders?_ "

"Don't underestimate the Spider-hate, Garrus. It is very real." Tali warned gravely. "I'm just glad Shepard destroyed that last Rachni Queen. The galaxy is better off without them."

"Yeah, when I read the report after you all came back though, I couldn't believe he actually did it. Shepard's an ass at times, but he always makes the better-man's choice."

"I don't think there was a right choice for that one."

Elaine nodded into the silence that followed. She could understand that. She'd done things she wasn't proud of at all, but sometimes the best option just wasn't available to her. "Sounds like you were both with Shepard for a long time."

Garrus inclined his head. "Well, I met him when he was on the Citadel right after the attack on Eden Prime. Humanity had just accused Saren of being a traitor, so I was told to investigate to see if there was any truth to the claim. But he was a Spectre. Everything he touched was considered classified."

"So what was the purpose? If they knew you would turn up nothing because you were not allowed to see the evidence you needed to, then why set you on the trail anyway?"

"Formality, I guess." He muttered bitterly. "Anyway, Shepard came along looking for me, thought I could help him track down evidence against Saren. _Real_ evidence this time. I practically begged him to let me join him to hunt Saren across the galaxy."

"And _I_ happened to have the evidence you were looking for." Said Tali.

"Yep, we went and got Wrex, who then took us to Fist, who then told us where to find you. All the evidence we needed to convince the idiotic Council to pay attention, wrapped in a little Quarian-bow."

Elaine's eyes narrowed. "The idiotic Council?"

"The Citadel Council rules all of Council Space." Tali explained. "They are comprised of the three most powerful races – well, four now, I guess, now that the humans have joined."

"Not that they actually do anything with their power. The citadel is just filled with bureaucratic crap."

"How so?" Elaine asked innocently.

For the first time, she thought she could see the Turian's temper come close to snapping at the mere mention of this government he seemed so spurned by. "What, like not let you do your job to keep the Citadel safe? Like not listen to you and ignore all the warnings you give them about the danger to come? Like risking millions of lives because it's much easier to pretend everything's fine? Or ignoring the real threat in order to appeal to politics?"

"Believe me, I know that – and everything you've been through – all too well." The warden murmured sourly, unpleasant memories staining her entire being. "I had a man I thought was once a hero turn traitor to everything I believed in. He jeopardised my country, allowed unspeakable evil to claim so many lives, all for the sake of his paranoia and a mad grasp for power. Not even when I assembled all the races to fight in our favour, even when we almost dethroned him, he still denied the real threat."

Tali tilted her head, befuddled. "Dethroned?"

Elaine suddenly realised her error and quickly shut her mouth. Damn it! That was too much! In the heat of the moment, in losing herself to this conversation, she'd revealed too much. Or had she? She wasn't supposed to tell them anything that could give them more than they could handle. Only keep it vague, unclear enough so as to be familiar, but no details they could dissect. Zevran would've told her she just fell for the oldest trick in the book… A common practise amongst assassins, he told her, before falling back on torture, you charm the subject and ply them with food and drink and slowly pull the truth out from them. What if they'd discovered what she'd been implying? Would they then think her mad? Cast her out?

The other two were staring at her, and Elaine realised she'd been tight lipped and body-stiff for too long. The silence was a death-sentence in this case. She tried to loosen her shoulders and relax with a dismissive wave of her hand. "You know what I mean…"

Garrus however, didn't appear at all convinced. His avian eyes raked over her, looking for something, and Elaine tried her best to remember all her lessons in masterful coercion to regain her composure. "What did you mean, you assembled races to 'fight in your favour'? I need to know what that means." He said.

"It's nothing."

"Really? It sounds like quite the story."

"I don't think so. Just the same as yours, really. Politics – the bane of our existence."

She'd tried to deflect with a joke, it landed roughly and shattered amidst the now unforgiving silence. Garrus's hard stare was piercing into her, and Elaine was struggling to look away. Her heartbeat began to climb. Maker's balls, why was she suddenly so anxious?! She hated that growing sense of distrust in the turian's steely gaze, where she had once seen his open friendship before.

"Elaine, where is it you come from?" he asked.

"I…" she swallowed thickly past the nervous lump in her throat. Though Garrus's tone made it clear he wouldn't be refused, Elaine still stood and hastily began a retreat. "I think I need to retire for the evening. Thank you, Tali… Garrus. Thank you for letting me dine with you. I enjoyed myself. Good night."

It took everything inside of her to walk at a normal pace and not run back to her quarters. The entire time she could feel their gazes on her back. The sense that she'd just made a grave mistake wouldn't leave her for the rest of the entire night.

* * *

 **A/N: A quick note, about Elaine's skill set, I always make it a point to imagine that she levelled up her coercion and battle-training trees to max, and nothing else. She can talk a cat out of its skin, or murder it just as cleanly, but anything else? Setting traps? Stealing? Ranger-skills? She's as useless as tits on a Hanar.**

 **Please review! The responses from you guys have been amazing so far, and I want to thank you all for that! Please keep the comments coming as it really helps me to improve.**


	9. The Ship

It was early the next morning when they approached the Collector Ship.

Elaine was summoned to the bridge, and watched through the windows above Joker as they made their way towards the hulking stone fortress which floated amidst the sea of the inky void of space. Even the glittering stars beyond seemed dimmer here, as if the mere presence of the horrid ship made them wilt. Garrus stood stoic and at the ready beside Joker, with Miranda at his side, and Garrus next to Elaine. They were all silent, none of the usual banter was spoken to lift the heavy atmosphere that lay over them. Even the crew behind them all in the CIC appeared more tense than usual. They watched the approaching ship slowly dwarf them as they drew closer and closer, a nervous tick present in each of them. Miranda's brows kept twitching lower and lower, Shepard's thighs and knees locked, and Garrus's fists clenched and relaxed repeatedly at his sides. Elaine could understand it perfectly, the apprehension for upcoming danger was something no warrior ever allowed to die.

"We have a visual on the Collector Ship, Commander," said Joker, for once looking grimly serious.

"Very low emissions…" EDI said thoughtfully. "Passive infrared temperature suggests most systems are offline. Thrusters are cold."

Closer came their lurking foe. The nearer they drew, the more impossibly larger the ship became. It dwarfed the Normandy – or at least it felt that way from where Elaine stood. The ship was just as Elaine remembered it from Horizon. A grotesque malformation of rock and metal, spikes and boulders in equal measure. No lights or signs of life appeared on the ship, as if it were sleeping.

"That thing is massive…" Joker whispered. "How the hell did the Turians take it out?"

Shepard had no answer, his gaze locked on the oncoming ship.

Joker pulled the Normandy alongside the lifeless ship. A flick of a switch, and lights appeared at their front to illuminate their way. They were so close, one could see the details on the metal work of the ship. And it was as they came so close that Elaine began to feel it. A slight ache in the back of her skull, a tingle along her veins, a sense of dread at the base of her spine. Her brows furrowed. She tried to brush it aside, but the feeling grew stronger. The taint. It was so strong here. It felt almost as strong as when she'd returned to Ostagar after the battle, and walked amongst the fields soaked in the Darkspawn's plague. This ship reeked with it, and Elaine felt a prickle along the hairs at the back of her neck, a sixth sense claiming that something was dreadfully wrong.

"We cannot go in." she blurted out, rather loudly compared to the silence that they had been in.

Everyone turned to stare at her. Miranda looked affronted. "Excuse me?"

"The taint, it is… so strong here…" Elaine stepped forward, her gaze scanning each rock and window for any sign of movement. "It is a trap."

"Can't be…" Joker said, bewildered. "There's no life-support systems online, no signs of activity, not even any heat signatures. No one's in there."

"Scans do not detect any hull breaches on the side facing us." EDI reported. "I detect no mass effect field distortions. It appears the drive core is offline."

"I can _feel_ them. They are in there."

Miranda's eyes hardened with suspicion. "No offence, but I much rather put my trust in thoroughly checked computer scans than your ' _feelings_ '."

"Elaine," Shepard slowly turned to face her. "I can't let this opportunity pass. We need the information in that ship to reach the Collector Homeworld."

"There will be nothing to collect if they ensnare us," Elaine retorted. When it seemed that no one would listen, she turned to the only one left. "Garrus, please. Tell them I speak the truth! That I wouldn't cry falsely in such a serious matter."

She had no idea why she did it. And she had no clue why it hurt as much as it did when he didn't immediately speak up in her defence. He didn't even have to agree with her, just assure that she wouldn't lie or wasn't delusional. But instead, he stared hard at her, mouth open to speak but no words coming out. Whatever he would say, he withheld, the uncertainty plain in his face. Elaine felt her stomach drop. This was about what happened last night, when he knew she'd lied to him and she'd run like a coward. Regret was always a bitter taste, and now she felt it more than ever.

"Okay people," Shepard called when it seemed the matter was settled. "Suit up. Garrus, Elaine you're with me."

The Warden's bitter rebuke couldn't be held back. "You will not trust my judgements yet you want me on this mission?!"

"You're the one who claimed you're immune to Seeker Swarms." He pointed out. "I doubt we'll run into anything, but if we do… well, better safe than sorry."

Elaine was growling to herself the entire way to the armoury as she quickly strapped on her armour and assorted weapons. Jacob explained she would need to wear the helmet this time, as there would be no air to breathe on the ship. Elaine struggled to comprehend the concept of _NO AIR_ but pushed it aside in favour of her growing ire as she struggled to push her hair into the tight-fitting helmet comfortably. She hated to wear helmets. Despite the fact she knew they were the best thing for her in theory, she despised the restriction on her movements, how her vision was hampered, how she felt claustrophobic inside it. It was why she had forgone wearing the blood-dragon helmet until now, when she had no choice. The red tinted piece of glass for her to see through was already trying her patience!

She met Shepard and Garrus down in the cargo bay, and they were already suited and ready to go, helmets obscuring their faces. They all rode in silence on the way to the Collector Ship. The other two might be quiet in preparation for the mission, but Elaine was silencing herself as she felt the creeping whispers of that strange replica Blight-Song begin to linger just within hearing. The taint was getting more potent, and Elaine struggled to stop her foot from tapping with the added anxiety this was placing on her.

Finally, the door opened, and they gingerly stepped out into a long corridor. Walls of metal were covered in thick layers of dirt and rock, packed together with a sticky residue that glistened in the eerie light from further ahead. It looked stamped in, as if hands had punched the structure into place. It came across as dirty and almost chaotic in its construction. And it reminded Elaine of the Dwarven Deep Roads, the endless tunnels interlinked and crisscrossing like the pathways in an anthill…

"I _love_ what they've done with the place…" Garrus remarked dryly.

Elaine nodded. "It resembles an insect's nest."

" _Penetrating scans have detected an access node to uplink with Collector databanks. Marking location to your hardsuit computer."_ EDI said in a voice right beside Elaine's ear.

She struggled not to freak out at the stray thought that the spirit was inside her. She reminded herself that EDI was not hostile, and she was more than likely speaking from her helmet, and not within her ear. And she was likely talking to everyone, from all of their armours at once – it was so hard to wrap her mind around the complexities of this world!

Shepard led the way down the hall, his gun at the ready. Garrus followed suit, and Elaine kept pace, sword and shield on hand and ready. The group did not speak one word, too focused on trying to keep a look out for any movement. Elaine could hear the sour replica of the taint so close, she had to grind her teeth in an attempt to block it out. As they turned the corner, EDI spoke up again. _"_ _Shepard, I have compared the ship's EM signature to known Collector profiles. It is the vessel you encountered on Horizon."_

Elaine paused mid-step to cast a quick glance at Shepard. "Do you think the colonists from Horizon could still be here?"

"Doubtful." Garrus shook his head sadly. "If my people caused this mess, I doubt the cargo would've survived where the crew did not."

It was a cold way of thinking, and one that struck Elaine, though she could not ignore the logic of it. Shepard nodded to himself. "Maybe the defence towers from Horizon softened it for the turians?"

The group carried onward. Elaine kept her eyes up, taking not of the fleshy sacks that hung from the ceiling and dripped goo in slimy strings. They looked like egg sacks with a warm inner glow that offered the sparse light. Shepard led them up a steep incline, where he was the first to spot something. Elaine tensed, but then tilted her head in confusion when she realised it was a pile of discarded pods she recognised from Horizon. Steam escaped lazily from the mouths that hung open like a lounging crocodile after having fully gorged on a plump meal. The group carefully approached, searching each one for a body, but found none.

"These are the same containers from Horizon. But they're empty…" Garrus murmured and sighed quietly. "Horrible, trapped in these pods. Completely at the mercy of the Collectors."

Elaine felt a shiver creep down her spine and fought it back. She agreed that such a fate would surely be a terrible thing to endure. What tortures had the Collectors inflicted on their poor helpless victims? She remembered when she had been a prisoner herself at Fort Drakon, and the nightmare of fleeting candle light and echoed screams that had plagued her. If it was anything like what these poor people had suffered, Elaine felt her heart shive with blame. How could she have let them down so greatly by not saving them before they were even taken? Why had she not found them sooner? It was her fault these people had suffered, her heart told her, even if her head tried to reason that there was nothing she could've done.

"This looks bad…"

Elaine pivoted to direct her gaze where Garrus and Shepard stared off around the corner. The ball of dread that made her stomach churn got heavier. Slowly, she crept forward, until she came abreast with them. The warden had to employ a vice like grip on her gag reflex before it threatened to churn out everything in her stomach. A pile of bodies lay heaped in one corner, cut open and rotting. Hands and faces reached out amongst the twisted legs and bent backwards arms that were stuck at odd angles. Dead eyes and slack jaws glared out at her, and further in amongst the shadows, the silhouettes of more piles made themselves known. Though during the Blight she had seen many horrible and awful things, some probably being worse than this, one never got used to monstrous acts like this.

"Oh Maker!" she whispered to herself in revulsion. "Wh-what… how could they… why leave these bodies here? Like refuse ready to be thrown away…"

"Must've been used for testing. I'd say these subjects didn't pass." Garrus murmured quietly.

"There are worse things than death. Like being a test subject for twisted aliens." Shepard said, then he was tapping Elaine's shoulder and ushering them all further down the hall. "Nothing we can do for 'em now. Keep moving."

Further down into the bowels of the monster they went. The entire time, Elaine believed every wall or shifting shadow to have some darker and nefarious purpose to it. What bloody tales had they bared witnessed to? What dying screams had echoed off of them with no answer or sympathetic gaze to comfort them when they went to the Maker's side? Hate spawned inside the Warden, and at that moment she wanted nothing more than to burn the entire ship to ash.

What appeared to be desks and machines lined the wall of the next room, hooked up by wires and lines to an open pod beside it. Elaine was cautious to look inside, wary of what new horrors she might find. Shepard went straight to the terminal, his wrist aglow as he summoned his omni-tool into being and waved it in front of the machine. Elaine edged closer to the pod, and peered inside. Lying at the bottom, with no signs of restraints or other controlling mechanisms, was a dead Collector. It stared up at the ceiling with milky glass eyes, its pincer-mouth slack, wrists turned upwards and arms limp. Confusion made her brain spin to find an answer. She had expected a human, possibly mid-way through the testing that had killed the others. Instead she found a Collector. Did that mean…?

Elaine frowned. "These monsters would experiment on themselves as well as their prisoners? To what end?"

"EDI," said Shepard as he tapped a finger at his omni-tool. "I'm uploading the data from this terminal. See if you can figure out what they were up to."

 _"_ _Data received. Analysing."_ Came EDI's voice into Elaine's ear. _"_ _The Collectors were running baseline genetic comparisons between their species and humanity."_

"Are they looking for similarities?" asked Shepard.

" _I have no hypothesis on their motivations. All I have are their preliminary results. They reveal something remarkable. A quad-strand genetic structure, identical to traces collected in ancient ruins. Only one race is known to have this structure: The Protheans."_

"But the Protheans vanished 50,000 years ago! I can't believe the species still exists."

" _These are no longer Prothean, Shepard. Their genes show distinct signs of extensive genetic rewrite. The Reapers have repurposed them to suit their needs."_

"I wouldn't want to live as some kind of mutated slave. Killing a Collector is probably doing it a favour." Shepard tried to hide a shiver by rolling his shoulders and turned to the other two. "Whatever they used to be, the Collectors work for the Reapers now. And we still have to stop them."

"I will not let them get away with this!" Elaine declared. "They will not do to the colonists as they have done to them!"

"Let's find what we need before more Collectors come to salvage this vessel. Move up."

They jogged along with twice the speed this time. Up a steep incline and around a corner lined with tubes filled with golden bubbling liquid. The closer they came to their destination, the more Elaine became distracted by the sharp ring of the off-Blight-music in the back of her mind. Though she had only been a Warden for little over a year now, towards the end of the Blight she had started to sense the Darkspawn, here their strange music. Alistair had said it was her full Warden-abilities finally manifesting, and it had been of great use to have two wardens sense the blighted creatures when they'd been at their most aggressive. But now all it did was confuse her. Why was the music so off? Why could she sense it so strongly right now when as Joker had said earlier that there was no life aboard this ship. If the Darkspawn nor an Archdemon or Old God was here, then why could she here the music at all? What connected the Collectors to the taint in the first place?

Garrus's sudden voice brought Elaine out of her thoughts. "Look – on the ceiling. More of those strange pods."

She did look up. The glow of more pods stared down at them, like insect egg sacs stuck to the ceiling. Slime dribbled down from them as if they'd been freshly laid by a giant spider. "There are so many… would each of them have someone in there, do you think?"

"Too many." Shepard rumbled darkly.

EDI then spoke up once more, though her voice seemed to be tinged with an ever-so-slight sadness. " _I detect no signs of life in the pods, Shepard. Mr Vakarian's earlier theory is more than likely correct. The victims probably died when the ship lost primary power."_

Elaine grit her teeth and cursed. "Damn it all!"

" _Commander, you gotta hear this!"_ Joker's voice suddenly crackled into their ears. _"_ _On a hunch, I asked EDI to run an analysis on the ship."_

 _"_ _I compared the EM profile against data recorded by the original Normandy two years ago. They are an exact match."_

Shepard stopped midstride. Elaine watched his shoulders tense, this news seeming to have more weight than she was aware of. Garrus appeared concerned for his friend, and nudged his shoulder, a silent inquiry of his wellbeing. The Commander shook his head, and his voice held the vague underlining of a threat. "The same ship dogging me for two years? Way beyond coincidence."

Joker seemed to agree. _"_ _Something doesn't add up, Commander. Watch your back."_

They climbed up another incline to an open area, and the three of them found themselves in a massive chamber that must've stretched for miles on either side of them! Rounded and structured out of rock and protruding metal, it resembled more of a cavern then the interior of a ship. Along every surface, on every wall face, Elaine could see the glitter of more pods take up every available space. As far as the eye could see, the pods were lined up in numbers beyond counting.

"By Andraste…" she whispered, stunned. "Look at them. How many…?"

"You could take every human out of the Terminus Systems and still not have enough to fill those pods." Garrus said beside her, his voice sounding as equally unnerved.

"Then what does that mean?"

He looked down at her. "They're going to target Earth."

From Elaine's earlier research, she knew roughly that this 'Earth' was the homeworld of humans. Million upon billions of people lived there, in so many different countries, on over half a dozen different continents. Fear seated itself in her core at the thought of these monsters taking so many lives…

"Not if we stop them." Shepard growled out. They went to go ahead, their destination just within reach at the bottom of the incline. They went to pass a shallow dip in the wall, when Shepard stopped to inspect it. "Wait, what's this?"

He leaned closer, and Elaine narrowed her eyes to focus on it. Spidery tendrils of black-rot grew up the wall from a central point at the seat of the dip, along with a shiny film that covered everything like oil. Though it had the same slick appearance, Elaine knew it wasn't actually wet. It was dry with a texture like snakeskin. Shepard reached out a hand to touch it, curious. Elaine's eyes widened in alarm and she rushed forward and snatched his wrist away.

"Don't touch that!"

Shepard stood and shook his wrist out of her grip, startled. "What? Why?"

"That is the taint…" she whispered. Kneeling closer to the black substance stuck to the wall surface, she studied it intently. It spread like fingers clawing their way upwards, and along the floor. It covered an area around twenty feet wide, though that only seemed to be the seat of whatever had lain here. Deep gouges raked the floor, and bolts from chains still stuck out of the ground. "Something was here… whatever it was, it reeked of the Blight. But what could possibly…"

Unpleasant memories flashed before her eyes. The oppressive rocky cavern reminded her too much of the Deep Roads, of the rot of the taint that had been present almost everywhere one walked. It was like walking into the rat's nest, the horrors within had been unequalled by anything she could've possibly imagined. The horror of the Darkspawn, their taint, what they had done to Branka's guards and poor Hespith's stomach turning tale... and the absolute terror which had been the Broodmother. The reality of the evil they faced had never been more apparent then the week she and her companions had spent in those hell-infested tunnels...The memories threatened to consume her in that moment, gooseflesh coming alive beneath her armour, a shake in her hands, a pounding in her pulse -

 _"_ _Shepard, with this new data, I have found something strange."_ EDI suddenly piped up, a welcomed distraction.

"What is it?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Part of the Collectors tests seems to inquire on an abnormality that is present inside of them… and also Elaine."_

Garrus and Shepard were both taken aback by that. "Wait, what?"

 _"_ _Decryption reveals a reference to a description of Elaine and her person, specifically a toxin present that has altered her DNA that the Collectors seem to recognise. It is a similar match to ones found in the Collector's tissue. It is different, more synthetic in nature, but 98% similar. What you're seeing now… this substance… I believe to be the original source of both."_

"It is the taint." Elaine explained coldly. "The poison which is found in Darkspawn and is the very heart of the Blight. As a Grey Warden, I am connected to it, but my body mastered it so as to not be enslaved by it."

"…Darkspawn?" Shepard echoed.

"…Blight?" Garrus repeated, equally lost.

"Know only that this thing is not to be trifled with. Don't touch it, or let it get anywhere near your blood. I do not know how the Collectors have it… but I plan to find out."

 _"_ _Shepard!"_ came Mordin's voice excitedly over the comm. _"_ _Just receiving results from EDI. Fascinating! Will run analysists to give proper information – could be useful. Will need Elaine to stop by to give samples once you return."_

The Commander shook his head and led the way further down. They came to a platform at the bottom of the incline, sleek panels covered in glowing buttons resembling the omni-tools waited for them patiently. Large cylindrical structures lined the four walls around them, filled with metal pistons that remained motionless. Shepard went straight to the central panel, and Garrus cautiously followed him in, head tilted to scan the top of the walls for any threat that might come overhead.

Elaine stepped onto the platform, but did not venture any further. Her unease grew exponentially. "This is too open. Too easy. It isn't right."

Shepard ignored her, and called up his Omni-tool. "EDI, I'm setting up a bridge between you and the Collector Ship. See if we can get anything useful from the databanks."

" _Data mining in progress, Shepard…"_

Several tense and silent seconds passed. Elaine's muscles began to tighten, a coil ready to spring. The nerves seemed to spread to Garrus, for she could hear his mandibles clicking together even through his helmet. And then they heard it, a blare of warning, like the horns of war.

Joker groaned. " _Oh… that can't be good…_ "

A blast of sound and light. The pillars on four sides of them shifted, and noisily pushed the pistons inside themselves all the way down. A clank and rumble could be felt beneath the floor, like keys turning in a lock. Elaine tensed, and looked to Shepard, who swivelled in place trying to find something that caused the upset.

"What the hell just happened?!" he demanded angrily, a finger held to where his ear should be.

" _Major power surge!"_ Joker responded quickly. _"_ _Everything went dark but we're now back up now."_

Something shifted out of the corner of her eye, and Elaine spun to try and catch sight of it. Suddenly, she could feel the presence of the taint all around them, and her heart began to pound. She was hardly even aware of EDI's voice in her ear. _"_ _I managed to divert the majority of the overload to non-critical systems. Shepard, it was not a malfunction. This was a trap."_

A Collector loomed over the wall.

"SHEPARD!" Elaine shouted and launched herself at the Commander. She shoved him aside as her shield was brought up to cover her head. Bullets pelted the shield and were flung away harmlessly. The crack of Garrus's rifle roared to life, and the lone Collector crumpled out of sight. Elaine turned to Shepard, who lay sprawled on the floor, dazed.

He gave her a half-hearted glare through the glass in his helmet. "Don't you dare say it."

"What?" she snapped. "That I told you so? I'm saving that for later."

The ground quaked, and Elaine was thrown to the floor. The world spun and tilted, air pushed on her back. She looked up, and shrieked when she realised they were up in the air! Their platform hovered twenty – maybe thirty! – feet off the ground, spinning nauseatingly. Light from the other end of the cavern came in a flash and blinded her a moment.

"We need a little help here, EDI!" Shepard said as he tried to keep his newly recovered feet.

" _I am having trouble maintaining connection. There is someone else in the system."_

Did that mean there was another spirit attacking EDI? A demon?! Before more thought could be put into this, the platform came to a halt so jarringly that even Garrus lost his balance and stumbled to the ground. For a dreadful moment, it looked like he would crush Elaine underneath him. But he hurriedly leant his body out of the way, and Elaine rolled in the opposite direction. Her hand slammed onto the ground to prevent her from falling off the side and into the sheer drop below. Eyes squeezed shut as her stomach heaved against the sight of the dizzying height, the warden slowly climbed to her wobbly feet.

 _"_ _Connection re-established."_ EDI's voice helped to distract her. _"_ _I need to finish the download before I can override any systems."_

Shepard appeared especially aggravated as he tried to look around for some secret switch or mechanism that would return them to the ground. "Then you'd better get it done fast, EDI."

"Look out – we got company!" Garrus called out.

Elaine looked up to see a second and third platform floating into view from the other side of the cavern, the shining bright light right behind them. She counted at least five Collectors on each platform, as well as a hulking blue hunchback on one. Immediately Elaine drew out Starfang, her knees automatically bending into a battle-ready stance. Shepard and Garrus ducked behind the panel of their own platform, and Elaine swiftly joined them as the Collectors began to fire upon them before their own platforms had even gotten close.

"Give me a distraction!" she yelled at them.

Shepard nodded and indicated something to Garrus. The moment they felt their ground shudder when the platforms connected, Garrus sprang up and unleashed an extra-loud blast which he called a 'high-impact-shot'. Two Collectors were thrown off their feet, and providing enough of the wanted distraction for Elaine to make her charge into their ranks.

Her shield rammed into the first Collector, whilst her sword thrust out underneath into its lower torso. She heard the spine severed, and shoved the body away as she moved onto the next one. The Collectors had regained their composure, and were beginning to turn on her. One on her left crumpled to the ground when a hole burst through its head. Another on her right shuddered as multiple bullets pelted its neck and chest. Elaine aimed for the Collector straight ahead. It saw her coming and made to swipe its claws at her, but the Warden sank to one knee, her forward-momentum causing her to slide along the ground under its reach. Starfang sliced right through one of its legs, and the thing fell to the ground, screaming. Elaine was back up on her feet and twisting so as to avoid the fire of a Collector, and brought her sword upwards to block aside its gun. Throwing forward her shield-arm she drove the metal's point into the Collector.

Gunfire pelted against the back of her armour, and Elaine heard her invisible shields crackle to repel the projectiles. She looked over her shoulder where the other targets lay. And she also saw the blue monstrosity slowly lumbering towards where Garrus and Shepard were hidden in cover. They kept popping up to pelt it with their bullets, but nothing seemed to hinder the beast. Elaine set her jaw and unleashed the champion's war-cry. A Collector beside her cowered away from the sound just long enough for her to slash open its neck as she ran past it. Her cry also alerted the blue-hunchback, for it turned its undead-eyes onto her and slowly raised an arm at her. A blue flash erupted out of the ground before her and rippled with earth-shaking force straight towards her. It was impossible to get out of the way in time. The explosion blasted up straight underneath her feet, and Elaine was eclipsed with pain for a brief moment before she was flung into the air.

For several minutes, everything went black for her. No sound nor sight invaded her dazed mind. Then, slowly, she could hear someone faintly shouting her name. And then the feeling of hands on her arms… the ground tugging at her boots as she was dragged. Slowly she opened her eyes to see Garrus dragging her back as Shepard stood over them, shooting left and right. They reached shade, and Garrus let Elaine sag to the floor, desperate to regain her bearings on her own. Behind her, she could see the blue-hunchback lying dead on the floor, the sack on its back exploded and oozing glowing-blue puss.

Shepard's gun suddenly spat out a glowing red cylinder. With a loud curse, he dropped back behind cover and snarled into his helmet: "EDI, get us outta here!"

If it were possible, the spirit managed to sound snappy whilst also maintaining her usual perfect calm. " _I am simultaneously fighting Collector firewalls in over 8,000 nodes. I am tasked to capacity."_

Elaine frowned and struggled to hoist herself up to standing. "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?" she shouted, her ears were still ringing.

Garrus looked as if he were about to answer, before he shoved her back down out of the way. "Never mind that now – here they come again!"

Another platform connected, and another hunchback surrounded by Collectors came for them. This time, Elaine knew the things dirty tricks. She stayed behind cover until she heard a bleep, and saw a purple flash as the invisible shields around her armour came back to life. Elaine wasn't certain how they worked exactly, but she was grateful for them. Shepard and Garrus were already shooting down the Collectors. The hunchback tried to fire-off another one of its shockwaves, but it thankfully didn't reach where they were hid. As soon as the shaking subsided, Elaine sprang over the top of the wall and charged at the hunchback. Collectors fired at her, but she either battered them aside with her shield, or the invisible ones repelled them. The distraction was enough for Garrus and Shepard to shoot them down.

The hunchback saw her coming, but when it tried to fire at her, Elaine dived to the side and rolled herself back into a crouch on the creature's flank. Starflang slashed out and cut through the thing's scrawny hamstring. It jerked and threatened to topple with a low wail of agony. Elaine caught a boot on a boulder, and pushed herself off of it into the air. She collided with the creature's back. Magical electricity sparked to life around it in retaliation to try and swat her off. Elaine grit her teeth against the pain and plunged her sword into its fleshy back to anchor herself down. Shield-arm raised, elbow bent, she drove her arm down onto the thing's skull with all her strength. A satisfying crunch met her ears. Again and again she did it, until black-blood oozed and rotting brain matter and wires spilled out. Shepard and Garrus drilled it with their gunfire from the front, the final blows that brought the monster crashing to its knees. Before it could slam forward, Elaine hopped off and landed with knees braced.

Panting, she wearily pulled her sword free of her kill and shuffled back over to Shepard, where the man was holding his Omni-tool out to the panel that had originally started this mess. By the way his eyes were hardened inside his helmet, Eliane knew he was not best pleased. A moment of silence between the group, and then EDI's ghostly white spherical form appeared on the desk.

" _I have regained control of the platform, Shepard."_ She reported.

He growled under his breath. "Finally, I thought –"

"Don't." Elaine snapped, one finger held up to him for silence. After everything they'd just endured, after the warnings she'd given, he had no right in her opinion to complain. So she turned her attention instead to how to fix said problem. "EDI, what do we do now?"

" _I have found data that will help us successfully navigate the OMEGA-4 Relay."_ A pause. _"_ _I have also found the Turian distress call that served as the lure for this trap. The Collectors were the source. It is unusual."_

Shepard crossed his arms. "What're you getting at?"

" _Turian emergency channels have secondary encryption. It is present but corrected in the message. It is not possible that the Illusive Man would believe the distress call was genuine."_

"Why are you so sure?"

" _I found the anomaly in Cerberus detection protocols. He_ _ **wrote**_ _them."_

"Wait!" Elaine exclaimed as it clicked into place. "This Illusive Man knew the trap was here but sent us anyway?!"

Shepard seemed equally vexed, a fist slamming into his other palm. "That son of a bitch sent us right into Collector hands!"

Garrus's shoulders drooped. "And here I thought I'd had my murder-and-betrayal for this year.

" _Errr… Commander?"_ Came Joker's voice in all their ears. _"_ _We got another problem. The Collector Ship is powering up! You need to get out of there before their weapons come back online – I'm NOT losing another Normandy!"_

A thrum echoed throughout the cavern. Not at a volume that it deafened, a low sound that one can feel all around rather than here. Their platform began to move back towards the ground, and Elaine held on tightly to avoid sinking to her knees from the vertigo. The moment they touched down, Shepard was charging ahead back the way they'd come. "Come on! Let's move!"

Elaine felt the tingle in her blood and surged forward to pull the man back. "No, Shepard! Not that way!"

"The hell do you think you're doing?!" he demanded and spun on her, shaking off her grip as he did so.

"I can sense them. They've blocked the way back to the shuttle. We go back that way, we'll never make it out in time."

The Commander appeared torn. He had not listened to her before and the trap had been there exactly as she said it would be. Would he do the same again? They heard a screeching behind them and saw more platforms floating their way. Garrus held up his rifle at the ready, "Shepard, we gotta hurry!"

He growled loudly and threw his hands up in the air. "Fine! Lead the way!"

Elaine didn't bother to gloat or do anything of the sort. Instead she immediately took them down a path to their left. She jogged listening intently to the blood in her veins for a sense of where the taint could be. It was difficult, as the entire ship reeked of it, but the more intense spots in her senses told her where the tainted creatures laid in waiting. Doing as Shepard had done earlier, she brought her hand up to the side of her helmet where her ear would be, and tried to summon the spirit. "EDI, can you hear me? I need you to follow my course and have our escape ready."

 _"_ _I do not have full control of their systems. I will do what I can."_ Replied the gentle voice.

They ran down corridor after corridor, through huge sets of doors which EDI opened them and down flights of stairs. All around they could hear the shrieks and chitters of the confused Collectors who were attempting to learn where exactly their prey was. Apparently it meant that they couldn't sense Elaine through the taint as she could sense them. But it was a thought meant for another time, as Elaine suddenly switched direction when she felt the taint loom ahead beyond the next door. As she ran, she couldn't stop the horrible memories from eclipsing her mind and obscuring her vision. She was no longer running through the Collector Ship, she was racing down the streets of Denerim. Instead of avoiding Collector groups and hordes of husks, she was running past civilians screaming as their homes were burned and they were torn apart by the filthy monstrous Darkspawn. Elaine shook her head, determined to stay in the present, lest she get them all killed. Her heart was racing from the fear of going back to that awful memory, her stomach was churning and threatening to make her sick.

"Down there!" Garrus pointed out, thankfully diverting her attention. "That's where we came in."

Sure enough, Elaine's course had led them around their enemies and back around to the long hall, at the end of which awaited the flying carriage. Shepard urged them on. "Run!"

 _"_ _Uh, Commander?"_ said Joker, sounding panicked. _"_ _I hate to rush you, but those weapons are about to come online. You might wanna double-time it. You know, so we can_ _ **leave**_ _before they blow the Normandy in half!"_

"You heard the man! Everybody onto the Normandy! Go-go!" Shepard ordered.

Garrus leapt into the shuttle first, followed by Elaine. Her momentum didn't stop until she crashed into the opposite wall. Bruising pain bloomed across her cheek and she staggered. Shepard jumped on board just as the door began to close and the carriage lifted into the air. Elaine wasn't the only one this time who lost balance as the machine seemed to be racing through the stars at break-neck speed, all finesse and ease gone. They almost crashed back into the Normandy, and the moment the doors opened, Shepard was racing out of it towards the elevator. Elaine tried to follow, that sense of urgency fusing into her bones. Was this what it was like for Sailors out at sea? Frightened of the incoming enemy ship about to board and destroy them?

 _"_ _Strap in people – gonna make 'em work for it, this time…"_ said Joker from overhead.

Suddenly, the Normandy seemed to lurch, and Elaine yelped as she was thrown off her feet. She collided with Garrus, the pair of them instinctively clinging to each other to help balance. The ship shuddered, and the pair of them would've hit the floor had Garrus's other arm not launched out to grasp hold of the side of the shuttle behind them. He held her around the waist pressed against his body, and Elaine clung to his carapace, eyes darting to the walls and the ceiling, as if she would spot the moment when the walls would erupt in a burst of flame. Maker's balls! She hated this not seeing the threat coming!

 _"_ _I can't dodge this guy forever, EDI. Give me something!"_ Joker shouted.

But EDI appeared as calm as ever. _"_ _Specify a destination, Mr Moreau."_

 _"_ _Anywhere that's not here!"_

 _"_ _Very well. Engaging mass effect core."_

And then suddenly, the ship grew still. Elaine hesitated to open her eyes and how fast the transition from chaos to calm had happened. Slowly, she and Garrus let go of each other, and carefully ventured further into the cargobay. They went towards the elevator and the CIC beyond. Whilst they waited on the long ride, they both stripped off their helmets and sighed with relief. Garrus got off at the crew-deck, muttering something about needing a shower. Elaine was still in a state of shock. After everything that had happened today, the horrid memories that had surfaced… and then such an unknown glimpse of death. Elaine had never encountered death before where she wasn't staring it right in the face, and wasn't fighting it off with everything she had. Down in the cargo bay, she had felt so… helpless.

Finally, she came to the CIC, and walked the length of the ship to Joker's navigation-seat and Shepard stood beside him, still dressed in full armour. "Did we make it?" she carefully asked, her voice surprisingly weak.

Joker turned his chair to face her, a goofy smile fixed in place. "Yeah, we're in the clear."

"Good work, Joker." Shepard murmured and patted the top of the pilot's chair. Finally he turned his gaze on Elaine, and unclipped his helmet to look at her face to face. There was a quiet honesty in those eyes, a determination in his straight lips. "And Elaine? You were right."

She had no words for him. No witty comeback, no 'I told you so' as she had promised. Too much had happened today. Instead, all she did was nod.

"Now come on," he gestured for her to follow as he marched back through the CIC. "I think I need to have a word with the Illusiver Man…"

* * *

Shadows concealed a man lounging in a chair, a glass of whiskey at his side and a cigarette daintily held between two fingers. Electric blue eyes were the only thing to stand out amodist deep darkness that obscured all colours and distinguishing features. All that could be discerned about the man was his immaculate suit, straight nose and full set of greying hair. He faced the holographic image of the infamous Commander Shepard, dressed in armour that still dripped with the blood of Collectors.

"Shepard," said the Illusive Man, "looks like EDI extracted some interesting data before the Collector ship came back online."

However, the Commander didn't appear interested, his brows pulled so far down they almost obscured his eyes. "EDI told us the distress call originated from the Collectors. You betrayed us. Just like I knew you would."

"We're at war." The Illusive Man shrugged, his tone placating as if trying to explain his reasoning to a child. "The Collectors are taking humans, and every minute we waste is one more we give the enemy to prepare."

"I know the stakes! But we're supposed to be on the same side and I can't trust you."

"Without that information, we don't reach the Collector homeworld. And you and every other human may as well be dead. It was a trap… but I was confident in your abilities. And don't forget EDI. The Collectors couldn't have anticipated her."

"And that justifies keeping us in the dark? Potentially putting our lives and the ship at risk?" said a new voice. A second figure stepped onto the platform and her image was transported straight for the Illusive Man to see. She was a vision. A Valkyrie straight out of a Viking song. Her pale gold hair seemed almost white in the technological presentation, her pale skin almost like snow, her blue eyes almost as bright as his own. She was dressed in silver armour adorned with the blood of a dragon, and clutched in her hand loosely by still threateningly, was a brilliant silver-blue sword.

"Ah. You must be Miss Elaine Cousland, yes?" he asked, though he knew exactly who she was. Miranda's reports as well as the observations he received from both EDI and Chambers confirmed this as her. "I've heard a lot about you from Miranda's reports. From what I've heard, thanks to EDI, the Collectors couldn't have anticipated you either. A unique ability… to sense the Collectors and their tactics like that. Your effectiveness is remarkable."

Those bright eyes narrowed on him like he was an ancient satanic text she was attempting to decipher. "You make it sound surprising."

"It is. EDI reported some of your stunts aboard that vessel. The durability you exhibit is interesting… only Shepard can beat that thanks to the upgrades we implanted in his cybernetics. It makes me wonder where exactly it is that gave you such capability."

"Wouldn't you like to know…"

"I would indeed."

"And you're getting off subject." She snapped. "I've barely met you and yet you have already betrayed me. _Tch_ , you and Flemeth would get along famously..."

That last part was muttered under her breath, probably not meant for anyone else to hear. But he still heard it thanks to the remarkable workings of technology. He decided to not let her know of it, however. "I needed the Collectors to believe they had the upper hand. Revealing the truth could've tipped them off in any number of ways. Surely you can understand things from my perspective."

"I don't risk people. There are always alternatives."

"You may not like being on the receiving end – neither would I – but the facts are with me. As much as we try to avoid them, these decisions need to be made. But more importantly… it paid off." Seeing the Commander turn inwards to mull over these words, the Illusive Man sprang into action. "Shepard, EDI confirmed our suspicions. The Reapers and Collector ships use an advanced identify Friend/Foe system that the relays recognise. All we need to do is get our hands on one of those IFFs."

"And I'm guessing you have a plan?" asked Shepard sceptically.

"We have a science team working on a Derelict Reaper right now. I need you to go and pick up its IFF."

"Where the hell do you find a Derelict Reaper?"

"An Alliance science team recently determined that the 'Great Rift' on the planet Klendagon is actually an impact crater from a mass accelerator weapon. A very **old** mass accelerator. I sent a team to find either the weapon or its target. They found both. The weapon was defunct, but it helped us plot the flight path of its intended target – a 37-million-year-old Derelict Reaper. We found it damaged and trapped in the gravity of a Brown Dwarf."

Miss Cousland frowned. "What has that got to do with a dwarf that is brown?"

"No, he means a star." Shepard murmured to her. "Brown dwarfs are just stars that didn't quite make it."

The Illusive Man nodded. "Simply put, but accurate. They're gas giants that don't quite have the masses of stars. Expect gale-force winds and extremely high temperatures. The Reaper has a mass effect field that keeps it in orbit. Likely an automated response to the external threats. It's stable, but I won't call it safe."

Shepard nodded. "So we go there next."

"I'll forward the coordinates to Joker." A long drag on the cigarette, a billow of smoke and small smile. "In the meantime… I suggest you tell your crew I didn't risk their lives unnecessarily. It will make things easier going forward."

The younger man in the hologram rolled his eyes. "Fine. Shepard out."

The call disconnected. The smile on the slightly wrinkled face instantly vanished. Another long drag of the cigarette, tar and smoke filling his lungs, only to be expelled with a breathy sigh. One finger flicked out to press a button on his chair. The call went straight through, the image of a nervous young man at a desk flickering to life.

"Tell our agents out in the Terminus to get in touch with the Shadow Broker." Another long drag, this time he expelled the smoke out of his nostrils, the fog swirling about his face with only his eyes to glare through it. "I need a little information about a certain someone…"

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you to all those who leave wonderful reviews - even those of you whom I cannot PM to say my thanks to. You guys honestly make my day with your awesome responses to my story. You really are helping me to better this weird and wonderful tale!**

 **And ooooooooooh the plot thickens! I hope you guys like where I take this story, because I am sooo excited for what I'm about to give you guys. Remember I update every Monday night (UK time), so please leave a review and I'll see you all next time!**


	10. The Drink

_The green mist surrounded, penetrated, burned. She coughed, heaved in an attempt to dispel the foulness from her lungs. Panic set in her stomach as her chest ached for air. Tears stung her eyes and the mist tried to claim them too, seeping into her nose, her tear ducts, making her face burn with its acidic touch. She was on her hands and knees trying to regain herself. Dirt crumbled beneath her fingers. Around her she could see twisted forms, a hill made into a spiral; earth and rock and metal and thorny branches interweaving to create a horrid landscape that had no order. Only chaos._

 _A great wind blasted into her, clearing the mist for a fraction of a second and allowing her to breathe. She did so, drinking in clean-hot air like a man dying of thirst in the desert. But then a new smell took the place of the mist, one of rot and death and sickness. A shadow fell over her._

 _She looked up and instantly fell back, hands clamped over her mouth to silence her scream. Feet digging into the crumbling dead earth, she scrambled backwards, knees and elbows shaking as her bowels threatened to soil her. No, she thought, no it couldn't be!_

 _Claws blackened and cracked, scales tearing and flesh beneath putrid and malformed. Wings battered the air, ragged and spiked; muscles along the back convulsing and bulging, puss and black blood oozing to the surface to cover its hide with a foul shine. Spikes and teeth punctured through the skin of the head where it was not supposed to be, for every time the long crocodilian jaws opened they sliced the flesh of the mouth to ribbons. Blank milky eyes filled with an incomprehensible evil glared murderously down at her, far too intelligent and gleaming with madness to belong to any normal wild creature. It resembled a dragon in outward appearance but no dragon was ever so terrible within. Darkness crackles around it, and darkness was its soul._

 _Its feet touched down onto the ground before her, shaking it with its mighty weight and forceful slam to its trembling muscles. The Archdemon lifted itself to its impossible height, staring down its snout at her, saliva and blighted blood drooling from its jaws to coat her._

 _In an instant, she was up on her feet and fleeing in terror. Never mind the burn of the mist in her lungs, or the courage she was meant to have. It was all nothing when compared to such a monstrosity so close! But before she could make it seven steps, a blur of movement and it was suddenly in front of her, jaws parted to reveal every tooth and hanging pieces of lacerated gums. It roared at her so loudly she had to fall to the earth with her own scream as she covered her ears against it. She could feel the blood of her eardrums sticking against her fingertips._

 _And the roar was silenced. And the Archdemon pulled in a breath so huge she felt herself being dragged along the floor towards it. And when finally it let loose that exhalation upon the world, it was not dragonfire that assaulted her. It was a vortex of pure death._

 _She had felt the potency of magic before in her lifetime, but this spell – whatever it was – was unlike any magic ever known to the world, for no part of the fade was within it. It was a cyclone of darkness both physical and spiritual. Hungry winds dragged her towards its waiting more even as purple flames tore at the vibrancy of her life. The Archdemon's vortex drained her strength, and the closer it pulled her in the stronger it became. Flames made her skin blister and an boil and pop. The corruption made her blood turn yellow then black and then finally to dust. Her mind was the only thing left to her as the Archdemon's terrible song filled her mind in a earth-shattering crescendo that hounded her to whatever recesses she tried to hide in._

 _And amongst the awful yet bitterly beautiful music, she could've sworn she heard a cackle of laughter, a promise of more to come..._

Elaine launched herself out of bed, her teeth biting down on her tongue to silence her scream so hard she tasted blood. It took her a moment to remember how to breathe, to dispel the ache in her lungs, to allow her eyes to see through the darkness of the crew's quarters and not mistake it for the horrid reality of death. Even when her surroundings began to seem familiar, her heart refused to quieten, to slow its galloping speed. Her entire frame shook as she slowly pulled up her knees and hung her head between them in a pitiful attempt to combat her shock.

The warden tried to clamp her noises down, for fear of waking the others on their bunks around her. Her mind churned over what she had just seen and why it had so disturbed her.

She had just _dreamed_. Perhaps this shouldn't have been shocking, but the thing was, ever since she had awoken on Horizon, she hadn't dreamed ONCE the entire time she'd been in this new world. Every night had been blank undisturbed sleep. It had made her more recently come to the conclusion that in this world there was no Fade, no realm of dreams, so therefore it left her unable to dream. But she'd just dreamed now. She'd unmistakably been in the Fade, she recognised the grotesque and chaotic landscape from when she and her friends had once been prey to a Sloth Demon in the Fade. And what's more… she'd dreamt of the _Archdemon!_

Wardens were only supposed to dream of the Archdemon when a Blight was inflicting its horrors upon the world. Throughout her journey across Ferelden, she could count on one hand the amount of times she had slept without a single dream of the Darkspawn or the Archdemon at some point haunting her dreams. But now it shouldn't be possible… She had slayed the Archdemon Uthemiel, and seeing as how this world didn't seem to know what even Darkspawn or the Blights were, she could only guess that no they were either a thing ended far in the past or never existed at all. So did that mean that this was a simple nightmare? Then what had brought it on? Could it have been because of the Collector Ship, when she had encountered the corruption that had infested the entire place?

And what now, she wondered. What was she to do with herself? Brush it all aside as just a bad dream? A nightmare not worth the effort to even think on it? Go back to sleep? No. Not a chance. Elaine considered herself somewhat of a brave woman, but on this occasion she was going to be a coward. The very idea of sleep was now abandoned. There was no way she would risk slipping into that hellish nightmare again.

Throwing aside the covers that had become tangled in her legs, Elaine quickly decided that she needed a _very_ strong drink.

* * *

Garrus slung the towel over his shoulder as he made his way back to the battery. It had been a heck of a day, to the point where the turian felt he needed to take two showers to try and rub the cold clammy feeling of death and disappointment from his skin. He knew deep down that he shouldn't blame himself for those poor humans on the Collector Ship, but it didn't stop his mind from wandering anyway. There was something more he could've done, he told himself, back on Horizon or something, they might've gotten there in time if he had.

He ran his talons over his tired face-plates. Spirits, maybe if he actually got some sleep at some point tonight he might be able to get past this. Maybe it was cruel to try and get over it so quickly. But every turian soldier learned that the time to mourn those lost came after the job ahead was done. And he and Shepard still had a big job to do.

When his Omni-tool crackled to life in the deserted and quiet hall, he nearly jumped out of his skin. _"_ _Garrus,"_ whispered a voice.

Said Turian blinked, brow-plates coming down in confusion. "Kasumi?"

" _Yeah, EDI said you were the only one on this Deck still awake."_ The master-thief grumbled. _"_ _Now listen. You kinda need to come into my space. Your girlfriend's here and I don't think she's leaving anytime soon."_

Tiredness and a heck of a day made Garrus's patience very short. "What are you talking about!"

 _"_ _Elaine. She's here, on her way to getting completely slaughtered. I swear we're going to need to restock ASAP with the amount she's putting down! You need to come and take her out."_

"You're her friend. Can't you deal with it?"

 _"_ _Garrus, I've been here the past two hours,"_ Kasumi replied tartly. _"_ _Now I'm not sure about you, but I need some sleep and I'd prefer the drunks out of my room while I do that."_

He opened his mouth to argue, but no words came out. Elaine had seemed pretty shaken up after they'd gotten back to the ship. Why was she at the bar in Kasumi's room? It didn't seem like her. Mind made up for him, he sighed in defeat. "Fine. I'm on my way."

Turning swiftly around, he stomped towards the port observation deck. Before he could reach the door, it opened swiftly as Kasumi scampered out. She tossed him a glance and a shrug, before hurriedly going on her way down the hall. Garrus watched her leave a moment. Was it his imagination, or had the skin beneath the thief's eyes looked especially dark, perhaps from fatigue? He wasn't quite sure with humans. Ignoring it, he stepped into the room and immediately spotted Elaine slouched on a barstool, leaning on the counter with several empty bottles scattered around her, a glass still in hand which she slurped from.

"Elaine?" Garrus called out softly. He hardly recognised her. Her golden hair was down in a dishevelled mess, her body clothed in what he guessed were her pyjamas: grey sweat pants and a dark red t-shirt. The main lights in the room were off, and only the lights on the bar itself were left to wash Elaine's pale skin in a bleached glow.

At the sound of his voice, the woman swivelled in her seat to locate him. A half-hearted smile graced her features as she turned back around. "Garrus, hello."

Gingerly, he sat on a stool next to hers. "Hi… um… what're you doing?"

"Wassit look like?" she smiled, her eyes half closed as she held up the last remnants of the remains of her glass. "I'm getting drunk – or tryin' to. This ale ain't as good as Oghren's brew. I need to take a few more to get the same edge."

Her usually beautiful speech was distorted and slurred from the drink. It made him wince slightly. "Looks like you've had a lot already…"

She giggled. "I know, right? Fuckin' glorious! But I'm still standin', you know. I'm not givin' in 'till I'm p-ssed out on t' floor."

"Your words are slurring."

"Are they? I fink they are…"

"Okay, you need to go back to bed." He said, and immediately stood. He grabbed her wrist to pull her away from the bar and her alcohol.

And she just as quickly (and rather nimbly considering the state she was in) extracted herself from his grasp. "Not happenin'."

"Come on, let's–"

" _Don't_ … touch me." She hissed. Garrus had to pause, he was so caught off guard by the venom in her voice. As if realising what she'd done, Elaine hung her head with a sad deflation of her shoulders. "Please, Garrus, I – I need this tonight."

Perhaps it was the soft plea in her voice, the way those icy eyes looked up at him and were suddenly swimming. He recognised the look of hopelessness, the expression of defeat, the aura of fear. The bottles all around her now seemed testament to a different purpose. No longer did it seem like a wasteful flight of fancy. No, instead it was the plea of a desperate woman attempting to drown away the horrors she had witness. Garrus couldn't say he blamed her, in actual fact, he agreed with her.

"Okay… okay…" he murmured, and then an idea struck him. "Mind if I join you?"

She granted him a lopsided grin. "By all means!"

And then unceremoniously, she slipped off her barstool and sank to the floor. She giggled, glass still clutched in her hand, not a precious drop spilled. Empty alcohol canisters and bottles clattered to the ground with her, but thankfully did not break due to their hardened make. Head leaned back against the bar, she stared up at the ceiling, where her laughter quickly dried up and died. In the absence of her drunken merriment, an expression of loss, of weightless anonymity, eclipsed her suddenly pale features. Garrus took pity on that look that he'd seen a thousand times – had even felt it in himself once or twice. It only took him a moment to decide, before he kicked back his own stool and then sat himself down on the floor next to her. Thankfully his deep blue civvies were soft enough that he felt comfortable even in this position.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked quietly. Elaine shot him a look out of the corner of her eye. "Hey, I'm just saying – after a day like today, we all need somebody to talk to."

To which, she held up her glass. "That's why I'm drinking."

"I have a good ear."

"Do you?" she asked and suddenly leaned very close to peer at the sides of his head. "I can't see 'em…"

"Think of them as invisible." His mandibles fluttered at the half-hearted joke. It made the woman smile as she settled back in her spot. Garrus then slowly tried to meet her gaze once more, to plead her to speak with eye-contact alone, but she refused to look at him. "Come on, Elaine. This isn't like you. What's bothering you?"

For a moment, he feared she would just stoically ignore him. Her jaw was pressed into a hard line. She stared into the swirling concoction at the bottom of her glass, as if it held all the answers she had ever sought. Garrus dared not speak as her eyes turned hard and sharp as flint, and her voice grew cold. The slur of the drink was gone, her diction once more returning as the spell of the drink seemed to lift away completely for one moment.

"Have you ever seen something – I mean, something so terrible, so awful, so _evil_ that you cannot even comprehend how any creature could do that to another? Something like that, that you can't even think about; because if you do, you lose the hope you have for yourself, for society, for this world… You have to go on and pretend you never saw it, to lock it away and never think on it again. Because if you do, you'll go mad. And then something comes along and reminds you of all those awful things, and then it's just too much…" to punctuate her point, she downed the rest of her glass.

"Yeah…" Garrus nodded. "Yeah, I know exactly what that feels like."

"I've seen some shit… shit that still haunts me even now. So I come here and I try to drown it all away underneath drink and oblivion 'cause I don't wanna remember anymore. That Collector hell-hole is too close to the past." She thumped her head back against the bar, teeth bared in a snarl. Garrus turned away, his mind becoming contemplative. Yes, he knew what she meant. He didn't just think of Sovereign and all the horrors he'd seen with Shepard, but he also thought of everything that had come after. As he sat deep in thought, the silence stretched on, and Elaine cursed. "Bollocks. Look, I'm sorry, I'm rambling – you shouldn't have to put up with my nonsense."

"It's not nonsense." He quickly said, and reached across automatically to grasp hold of her hand. "It's not."

Her eyes shot up to meet his. He watched her throat bob as she tried to swallow. "How do you know?"

"You know what, hand me that bottle over there." He didn't even wait for her to respond. He stood up, reached over the bar and plucked up one of the only bottles of turian brandy on the ship. Sitting back down, he gulped several long pulls on the bottle. "You know I was with Shepard before, right? Well, when I was with him, I always thought I had a purpose, a way to help and protect people. But after he… uh, _disappeared_ … I was lost. I didn't know what direction to go in anymore. My old job wouldn't let me do what I needed to do because I had to follow too many rules. And after everything I'd seen with Shepard… it felt like a waste. So I went to a place where I thought I could make a _real_ difference, could work things out on my own, find my own way.

"Omega," he spat the name as if the word itself carried a disease on his tongue. "The station filled with the worst of the worst, thugs kicking the helpless. I wanted to help people kick back. Soon as I started to show I could get things done, others wanted to join me. We weren't out to get rich, we wanted to make the gangs and the mercs and the murderers think twice before they crossed anyone on the streets. Everyone in my squad lost someone to that station… and I was the one who gave them hope we could pull it off. At least it wasn't hard to find any criminals. All I had to do was point my gun and shoot."

Now it was his turn to avoid her eyes as she leaned closer, entranced whilst he so desperately wanted to crawl in a hole and die rather than tell the tale. "What… what happened?"

"One of my team turned traitor. A turian named _Sidonis_." The pit of loathing and grief and rage in his stomach swelled and boiled within. "We'd just started to get in a big cash from the shipments we scrapped from the mercs – meant we could reach other parts of the station. Some wanted to think about life in retirement. I pushed them on, to carry on our work. Didn't even realise I was just as lost in my work as I had been after Shepard was gone.

"I got the mercs so angry with me, three separate bands teamed up to try and take me down." Damn it, even now he couldn't stop a hint of pride in his voice. Yet it quickly drained away. "So, one night I got a message from Sidonis. He drew me away with a false job, and then let the mercs hit my team. By the time I got back, our base was almost destroyed, and only two of my men were left… and they didn't last long… At first I thought Sidonis was a casualty. But then I put out feelers, and realised he'd drained his bank accounts and booked passage off the station – he sold me out, and ran!"

"Is that how you got the scars?"

"No. That was later. The mercs tried to come back and finish me off, but I pushed back against everything they threw at me. I think I was there… two-maybe-three days? Shepard came in and got me out – but a rocket got me just so I could make a dramatic exit."

Her silence burned him. He took several more pulls on his own bottle. "Garrus… I…"

"You what the best part is?" he cackled without mirth to himself. "I spent two years of my life on that station, and you know what happened the moment I left? It all went right back to the way it was! Nothing I ever did made even a dent!"

"Nothing we do ever does."

"Yeah," he whispered. He looked over at her, at the hopeless look on her face. It made his gut twist as he was reminded of everything that had happened. "Look, about earlier today… I'm sorry. You said it was a trap, and you were right. I shouldn't have doubted you, it's just my reservations got in the way of my better judgement."

"I don't blame you. You had every right, seeing as I've told none of you the whole truth…"

"Then tell me now. Help me understand."

"You will not believe me. You will think I'm insane…"

"And how worse off would you be even if I did?"

At that she slowly looked him in the eye. "I'm not from this world, Garrus."

"Well, that's obvious–"

"No, I mean I'm not from this _world_ , Garrus." She pressed insistently. Garrus was about to make another remark when he caught sight of her expression. _Oooh…shit…_ She nodded. "I come from a world called Thedas, where everyone wields a sword and shield, or daggers, or bows and arrows, not _guns_. There, we have magic, not biotics. There, the fastest way to travel is by ship – one that goes on water and uses the sails to catch the wind. Our history goes back thousands of years, yet I can find no record amongst your tomes that indicates my world even exists."

The turian held up his hands in an attempt to halt the overloading information on his brain. "Wait! You mean you're saying–"

"When I first came here, I thought I was in the future… now I don't know at all."

"Riiiiiiight…"

"I said you would not believe me."

"You gotta admit, this is something very hard to take in." He was flawed by what she said. Logic dictated that what she implied wasn't possible. But the sincerity in her entire body made him believe that _she believed_ it was real. "I mean, how would you explain how you even ended up here?"

"I don't know." She shrugged, and something once more turned distant, cold. "I killed the Archdemon! I was supposed to die, but then–"

"Hang on a minute, _what_?"

"My world is infected, you see, with creatures called the Darkspawn. They are monsters: twisted and tainted creatures made by the same foulness we found inside the Collector Ship. They live in hordes deep beneath the earth, where they are not a threat to us on the surface. But the Darkspawn are always searching for the Archdemons, who are imprisoned deep underground – they are summoned to them by the calling in their taint. When they find an Archdemon, it leads them together as an army to the surface… and you've never seen anything so terrible in all your life. Where the Darkspawn step, the land withers and dies. Animals sicken and harvests fail. People grow sick with plague and die in agony of the taint. At the Archdemon's behest, the Darkspawn destroy armies, burn cities, and then they murder, eat and rape their way through the masses. It is their goal to see the destruction of my world. This is a Blight. And only the Grey Wardens can defeat it."

He recognised that term, she'd used it before. "But… you are one?"

"Yes. I am a Grey Warden." She nodded, pride in her voice. "We make the sacrifices no one else will, we take the taint into ourselves and we master it; we _use_ it to defeat the Darkspawn. The only way to stop the Blight is to kill the Archdemon, something only a Grey Warden can do. With it dead, the Darkspawn go back underground, scattered and mindless once more.

"Around a year ago, the Darkspawn began to rise in the southern most borders of my country. I was conscripted into the Grey Wardens… shortly before all of my order was slaughtered in battle. Only I and a few others survived. We had no royal army left, no warden-order, and no allies. So I had to lead the entire fight across the country to pull in everyone I could to fight the Blight before it consumed us all."

"And you killed the… Archdemon?"

"I did. At great cost." She whispered brokenly. "In the final battle, we fought through the capital city… I saw men and women burning alive while their children were devoured before them. I saw the Darkspawn destroy everything in sight with no want of riches or plunder of any sort. We cornered the Archdemon, and one of us had to take it out. You see, a Grey Warden must be the one to slay the Archdemon, for if not, its essence goes to the nearest tainted creature and rises again. A Darkspawn is an empty soulless vessel… a Grey Warden is not. The Grey Warden who slays the Archdemon must die."

"And… you…?"

"I struck the killing blow, Garrus. I felt that _thing_ try to tear me apart from the inside… All I can remember is a blinding white light, then… nothing. I died, Garrus, and then the next thing I knew, I woke up on Horizon, without a clue where I was."

Silence. Elaine tried to look for another bottle, and resorted to tipping back one of the older bottles for even the slightest drop. Garrus just stared at her, mouth slightly agape, unable to form a cohesive response.

"See, normally, I wouldn't say anything like this!" she snorted. "You lot might see me as crazy, or I'd lose whatever respect I've got between you and Shepard. I'd just be ' _the crazy one'!_ But you know what? I'm **_that_** drunk, I don't give a shit."

Garrus was quick to correct her. "I don't think you're crazy… and you haven't lost any respect from me."

"You still don't believe me."

"I… I'm not sure what to believe." He uttered vaguely, for in truth he didn't know how to feel. "Maybe I've got to admit that this does sound a bit… um, _stretched_ , let's say. But I can also safely say that I'm not completely _disbelieving_ either. Maybe this is something I won't ever be able to understand fully either way, unless hard evidence comes to prove it."

"Just some flowery way of saying you don't."

"Let's settle with the fact that I'm willing to believe a little."

Elaine rolled her eyes and looked away, disgusted. Did she still believe he thought less of her? He reached over the bar again and plucked up a smaller drink-canister, before sliding back into place on the floor. In one hand, he offered the bright pink drink. She looked over at it, eyes caught on the offering in his three-fingered hand. That gaze flittered up to Garrus, unsure, but he merely nodded encouragement. Slowly, she grasped hold of it, but didn't pull it into herself.

"I'm just so tired, Garrus, so tired of it all." Suddenly she was falling forward and her head landed on his shoulder. She leaned into him, her shoulder shaking slightly. Was she crying? "I miss my home, my family, my friends! Why can't I just pack it all in and go back to them? Why must I be the one to be pulled away with no hope of going back? Why?! I want to go back – I want to!"

Garrus had no answer for her. There were so many answers he could give, so many ways to express the same thing without it meaning anything at all. The truth was that he and a lot of people on this ship probably often wanted to give in the fight and go home to those they loved. It was perfectly normal to surrender after so much adversity. However, that then meant there was no one else to take their place in this fight against the enemies they faced. If they didn't fight the good fight, then who would?

Eventually, he realised that Elaine's shoulders had stopped shaking, and she was leaning almost motionless against him. He could hear her ever so soft sigh of a snore tickle his carapace and neck. His spine shivered, but he pushed it aside. Trying to rouse her, he shook her shoulder, but got no response from the human. Garrus cursed his luck that he'd encouraged her to drink into complete unconsciousness.

Oh well, nothing to do about it now then to sort it out. He knew Kasumi would skin him if he left Elaine there where she slept. So, with extreme caution, he carefully manoeuvred his arms so that one supported the back of her shoulders and the other scooped up beneath her knees. He believed the humans called the term 'bridal-style'. How that had anything to do with mate-bonding ceremonies, he had no idea, and didn't think too much on it. Standing, he was a little surprised at how the Warden in his arms was so easy to carry. It was almost effortless on his part to carry her out into the hallway and then into the crew's quarters. For those who were still awake, they shot him glares at his entrance, but the turian ignored them completely. His focus was instead on the woman in his arms as he quickly identified her bed and placed her into it. The sheets were dishevelled, one pillow already had the look of being gripped and clawed too tightly. Ah, so she'd had a bad dream. It mattered little to him as he carefully placed her on the mattress and tucked her in.

As he straightened up and quietly exited the room, he cast the blond woman one last glance over his shoulder. No, he might not believe her fully, but he damn well believed that he wanted to help her, no matter what form that took. He exited the crew's quarters, and hoped for Elaine's sake that her hangover wasn't too much come the morning…


	11. The Berserker

"Commander, you can't be serious!"

Miranda stared at Shepard, slack jawed and brows furrowed incredulously. Shepard did his best to ignore the impulse to snap her back into her place. He hated being second-guessed, especially in front of others. Jacob and Mordin stood to one side of the conference room, doing their best to be invisible. His XO stalked around the table towards him, the way it had been a thousand times over the course of this mission. At almost every turn, Miranda had done her best to argue against Shepard's orders: defending Cerberus when he adamantly objected to it, told him not to rush Mordin's research, objecting to his lack of focus on ship upgrades. Usually, though she put up a hell of a fight, she came around to Shepard's way of thinking, and backed him in front of others 100%. Never once had she objected in front of others, yet now she wasn't holding back. Her usual icy scowl seemed to have a little more _fire_ behind it (no pun intended, Shepard smirked to himself). Thinking the look was meant for her, Miranda crunched her heels into the floor, arms crossed tightly.

Shepard squared his shoulders and used his specific 'commander voice' to full effect. "You heard what I said, Lawson. We've been given our next objective. The next stage of our assignment is to make sure we can get through the Omega 4. So we go."

"It's a _derelict_ Reaper." She bit out. "What if the Collectors are waiting for us? We may want to build up our team before we take that kind of risk."

"We have all our specialists. All the dossiers the Illusive Man sent us. The team is full. We're ready."

"No, we're not, Shepard! Some of them are new, we don't know if they follow orders exactly. We're going into a mission that we might not come back from; the only way we'll succeed is to make sure we're the best we can be."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "Thank you for stating the completely obvious, Miranda."

Jacob decided to tentatively wade into the dispute. "Miranda, I agree with the Commander. You gotta admit, sooner or later, we'll need that IFF. I say, why wait?"

"At what cost?" Miranda whirled on her colleague with a withering glare. "We're going into the _galactic-CORE_ , Jacob! You think standard armour's not going to fry against exploding suns? Or that we'd even get through the debris that's no doubt floating around in there. What about when we encounter a Collector ship? We don't have the firepower."

Shepard growled. Again with the upgrades? "You mean to tell me, Cerberus gave me a ship that _wasn't_ already fully upgraded? You spent all that money on the standard?"

"Let's not forget that you woke up _early_. And back then we didn't know what we'd be dealing with. Now we can plan ahead – instead of rushing in blindly!"

Mordin nodded. "Ah. Agree with Miranda. Better to anticipate, prepare, counter threats before they even become apparent."

"Enough." Shepard barked out loudly. The group silenced themselves immediately, and stared at him expectantly. It was very obvious by the hard set of his eyes that Shepard's patience was almost spent. "We can argue about this all day. But the facts are this: the Collectors are just slaves to our real enemy. The Reapers. And we know what _they're_ capable of, what they're coming here to do. So all the time we waste gives them more time to wipe us out. I'm not gonna let that happen. We go get the IFF."

Miranda ground her teeth. "Sure, and then we'll all end up spaced when the ship can't survive the other side of the relay."

Shepard froze on the spot.

Everyone else took it as a clear dismissal and left. But Shepard was still stood there staring blankly into the wall as he tried as hard as he could to keep his breathing even, to not let the walls close in on him. He tried to shake it off, he was Commander-fucking-Shepard, god-damnit! He did not lose his shit over some snide comment. But the more he fought it, the more he thought about it. The mind is a fickle thing that way, conjuring before his eyes memories of endless cold stars laid out before him, of the hiss constantly in his ear, of the blast of ice and cold that ripped through his body as he struggled to –

Shepard slammed his fist into the table, teeth clenched, and eyes squeezed shut against the onslaught. Sweat beaded down his forehead. With deliberate slowness, he forced his chest to move in and out, to take a huge breath in before releasing it again, to remind him he could still breathe. For fuck sake, he thought, the nightmares were bad enough, now he had to deal with it in his waking hours as well? He heard the table groan under his fist and realised he'd made a dent in it.

"Shepard?" came EDI's voice right beside him as her bobble-head popped up. "Your heart right has increased dramatically, and your brain waves show rather unusual signs. Shall I call for Dr Chakwas?"

"No, EDI." Shepard ground out between his teeth and straightened his spine. "I'm fine."

"Perhaps Miss Chambers, then?"

"I said I'm fine!" he snapped.

Without waiting for the AI's reply, he stormed out of the room before it could tell him his blood pressure had somehow spiked as well. He already knew all of that, didn't take a genius to figure it out. All he had to do was get his head stuck in the game again. Eyes on the goal, don't let anything blindside you. This shit would sort itself out. No way was he going to give in to something as pathetic as his own sanity.

* * *

Elaine awoke with a dwarf inside her skull smashing at her temples with a brass hammer, dancing on top of her eyes with spiked boots and singing at the top of his overly loud and ridiculous voice. She groaned, muscles in her arms shaking as she tried to push herself up. A shiver contorted her spine, and light seemed to cause a High-Dragon to spit fire into her eyeballs. Thankfully other members of the crew had vacated the quarters. Elaine wasn't quite sure if she could've handled any noise – or any human interaction for that matter.

As frail as a new-born babe, the Warden shuffled her way towards the nearest privy – and promptly ignored EDI's overly loud voice telling her she was in the wrong one again. After doing her business – and trying her best not to dry-heave into the sink – she hastily made her way to Dr Chakwas, eyes covered with a hand to try and protect her aching migraine from the sharp light. Chakwas seemed to be expecting her and readily gave her a few small tablets she said would ease the pain. Elaine swallowed them all greedily. A while later, the pain did begin to lessen, just enough for her to get herself dressed and wonder what on earth happened last night?

She remembered the nightmare, and then going to Kasumi's room with the intension to drink herself unconscious. She winced. Distinctly, she remembered Kasumi talking with her, trying to ease her and then attempting to persuade her to leave. Though her exact methods had begun to go blurry, Elaine knew she must've been a pain to be around. First order of business then was to go to Kasumi and profusely apologise for her behaviour. The thief had seemed to take it all on the chin, smiled and casually dismissed the previous night as rather unusual entertainment. Even the part with Garrus.

Elaine had frozen where she stood. Garrus? He had been there? The Warden tried to wrack her brains frantically for some semblance of memory. Yes, she seemed to remember hearing Garrus's voice – he had such a beautiful, soothing voice. They'd talked, but what about? As the memories began to trickle back into place, Elaine was rocked to realise she'd told Garrus everything! What if he'd already told Shepard? What must he think of her now? She'd pestered Kasumi for answers, but all her friend could say, was that Garrus had stayed with her in the room alone for some time, before finally emerging with her in his arms and put her back to bed. Elaine had been rendered silent, even a blush hinted at her cheeks. For a man to whom she was not married to put her to bed? Her mother would've been mortified at the potential scandal!

Her mind was so turbulent over the pressing thoughts on what must have happened and what might yet still come to pass, that her body began to wander around the ship. She thought on the possibility of if Garrus had spoken with Shepard, and if he hadn't, when might he do so? Was it better for Elaine to speak with Shepard first, reveal the truth herself? But then she was back to square one, of mustering the courage to do such a thing in the first place.

Eventually, there was nothing for it. She had to speak to the Turian in question. In the main battery was where everyone said he resided. When the doors opened, she found herself in a room filled with gleaming metal, red lights coating all that lay within in a haze of deep scarlet. Garrus stood with his back to her, his fingers tapping away at a desk in front of him. Elaine approached quietly, yet somehow, he heard her. He turned and from the blink of his eyes, he seemed a little surprised to see. Elaine gnawed the inside of her cheek as thoughts and questions and fears frazzled her brain. The blue light that shone in front of Garrus's left eye was the only stark contrast the deep red that surrounded him, as his usually vibrant blue armour seemed to be laced with shadows. It made the angle of his cheekbones and mandibles stand out, particularly the pointed curvature of his mouth.

"Elaine," he greeted, and in the metal environment his soft voice seemed to carry easily to her ears. "I didn't expect to see you up and about."

"Garrus, I… I wanted to speak with you – about last night."

He paused, and turned back to his desk to push a single button. With a soft sigh of breath, the doors closed behind Elaine and a red square appeared to signify it was locked. Elaine glanced from the door to Garrus expectantly.

"I know why you're here," he murmured. "And before you say anything; no, I don't think you're crazy. I might not believe everything you say as fact – it is pretty farfetched. But I believe that _you_ believe it."

"I suppose me coming back from the dead is a little hard to take…"

The turian snorted, "You'd be surprised around here…"

Her eyes narrowed, but she decided to let it go. Some jokes were just lost on her. "And… have you said…?"

"To Shepard? No. I figured if anyone should tell him anything, it should be you."

She was rendered a little speechless. Maybe she was too accustomed to think of others as a potential enemy of the Great Game. She'd lost count of the amount of times she'd had to thwart some plan of a noble or official. Of course, none of her true friends, her dearest companions, those she'd left back home, would have ratted her out to anyone else. Was it so hard to think she had a friend here who might be equal in that regard?

The thought made her smile. "Thank you, Garrus."

"Any time," his mandibles parted, a gesture was beginning to instantly translate as a smile. "No matter what, you're still a hell of a fighter I'd want to have on my six any day."

She reached out to him, and laid her hand on his shoulder firmly. A warrior's hold. Assessing it, Garrus did his best to replicate it, and they stood there, arm in arm, gazing into the other's eyes. Elaine nodded to him. "I feel exactly the same way, Garrus."

Elaine left not long after that, a smile upon her face. Perhaps it was her renewed spirits that sent her down the elevator towards the Engineering deck. She had hardly ever been down here, but knew that this was where Tali resided. As she walked through the doors, she noticed Jack and Zaeed speaking in hushed tones partly up a stairwell. Upon seeing her, the two quickly parted ways. Zaeed marched past her with a barely disguised curled lip and a roll of his eyes. Jack just lifted her chin and grunted a greeting, before disappearing back down the stairs. Elaine wondered whether to follow, but decided against it. She and Jack were on civil enough terms at the moment, but until something indicated that Jack would let her in further, Elaine decided to leave her be for now. Instead, she went further inside to a room of silver, where the floors and walls all hummed to a beat that constantly remained just within earshot. Tali stood with her back to Elaine, fingers fiddling at a desk much like Garrus had done. Though it seemed the Quarian didn't have the senses that Garrus did, as Elaine had to clear her throat loudly to announce her presence.

"Oh, Hello Elaine! I didn't expect to see you down here," the young alien woman greeted warmly as she turned to face her guest. She stopped, and tilted her head. Elaine imagined her expression as somewhat perplexed. " _Keelah_ , what happened to you?"

Elaine winced and scratched the back of her head. She must still look a state. "You might say I had a rough night…"

Tali nodded and quickly ushered her over to a set of consoles on the other side of the room that looked suspiciously vacant. "Over here, I already know where Ken keeps his hangover stash."

"He has a hangover stash?"

"He usually gets a little drunk on poker night." Tali lifted away a panel at the neck of the console, and pulled out a bottle filled with gangling pills. She handed it to Elaine. "Gabby gives him some of these, though, and he's good to go. I think she said it's something like coffee."

"Thanks." Elaine murmured and swallowed two of the things. She handed the bottle back to Tali, who made sure everything was as she found it. The Warden blinked as the felt much-needed energy begin to rush through her veins and infuse with her bones. Damn, this thing worked fast.

"What brings you here then?" Tali asked.

"Thought I might come and see my favourite Quarian friend."

"Elaine, I am your _only_ Quarian friend."

"Which makes you that much higher in my regard!" Elaine grinned. Tali tusked but chuckled good-naturedly, before walking back to her console and letting her fingers fly over it. Elaine's head cocked curiously. "What is it you do on there?"

"Well, I help out in Engineering. My people know a lot about ships – seeing as we live on them – so my expertise helps to weed out anything Ken or Gabby might miss or overlook."

"Like what?"

"Like making sure circuits are running at optimum capacity, making sure none of the systems are drawing too much power away from others, like double checking the drive core is–"

"Forget I asked, that all just went over my head."

From down below the heard a sudden thud and a shout. The two women looked out into the corridor beyond and saw emitting from the bottom of the stairwell an ever so slight blue flare – the sure sign of biotics. It quickly vanished, and they heard a string of muttered curses.

Elaine frowned. "Is that where Jack skulks away to every night?"

"Yes," Tali said quietly. "She's been like that since just after I came on board. According to Chambers, Jack wants Shepard to take her on a personal mission. Something to do with her past, she has 'unfinished business'."

"What does that mean?"

Tali shrugged and looked away, her voice a little despondent. "We're going into a suicide mission. We might not get out alive. From that perspective, I can see why people would turn to things they left unresolved, loose ends they need to tie up before they face death without reservations."

"People? You mean there's more than just Jack with these personal missions?"

Tali balked, perhaps realising that she'd said too much. "I… I don't want to spread gossip, Elaine,"

"This will not leave us, I swear it." The Warden vowed. And as any of companions might have said, her word was law. No matter the cost to herself, she always obeyed an oath to her friends. Just ask her fight with Flemeth… But no one was there to reassure Tali of that, only Elaine's eyes could onvey her sincerity. "I'm only concerned, Tali."

The Quarian's voice came out reluctantly. "Well, Kelly said Miranda and Jacob were among the first to ask for these personal missions. But Shepard's turned them down. I guess we don't have any time."

"Why would you say that?"

"You didn't hear? Orders came this morning. We're heading out to collect a Reaper IFF–" At Elaine's confused look, she quickly clarified. "A 'Identify-Friend-Foe' system. It will be the key that will let us use the Omega 4 Relay to reach the Collector homeworld."

"So, it's like a password we speak that will allow us entry?"

"Sort of. Anyway, once we get that IFF, we'll be getting it checked and then go straight through the Relay… Not much time for personal stuff on that schedule."

Elaine pondered this most troubling development. On one hand, she commended Shepard on finding solutions to this mission and seeing them through as quickly as possible. It made sense, in some sort of way. But the larger part of her knew it wasn't right. Though Shepard now had a full crew, none of them were ready. And if they all sought these missions, these personal quests that they needed to complete to lay their ghosts to rest, then she could understand that. Even amidst the middle of a Blight, Elaine had gone out of her way to see to the needs of her companions. She managed to find a lost sword amidst a warring country, she tracked down bards and family and old flames and slayed dragons and even discovered ancient thaigs, all for the sake of her friends. It had brought her team together, made them committed to the cause and to her. And perhaps it was that mother-hen side of her that now wanted to do the same for this crew as well, even if it technically wasn't hers.

Out of the corner of her, she noticed at the end of the corridor Shepard walking by towards one of the rooms that lay on either side of the ship. Elaine watched the purposeful march in his step, the slight frown on his features. An idea began to worm its way into her head, and she hurriedly turned back to her friend.

"Hey Tali, I've got to go. I just realised I need to talk to Jacob about my old armour runes. We can speak later, yes?"

Tali seemed taken aback at the sudden turn, but Elaine could almost tell by the light of her eyes that she smiled regardless. "Sure, I'll be here if you want to talk."

With one last smile, Elaine excused herself and quickly yet quietly eased her way into the corridor outside the elevator. She was just in time to watch the doors close behind Shepard. From the windows that overlooked the cargo hold, Elaine could see windows of the room Shepard now stood in – Grunt's room. With feet as quiet as a rouge's (she thanked Leliana for those at-the-time-seemingly-useless Bard lessons) Elaine crept up to just within arm's length of the door, and listened.

"Chambers said you're tearing up the place." she heard Shepard's voice, all business as usual. "Something wrong?"

"Shepard!" Grunt exclaimed in a voice that sounded almost stressed, the most emotional Elaine had ever heard of the usually stoic Krogan. "I need… something. To talk to you. I don't know."

"What's the issue?"

"I feel wrong. Tense. I just want to kill something. With my hands. More so than usual, like it's not my choice. Like I just want to, I don't know…" with a savage snarl, Elaine heard the distinct sound of glass being smashed. She tensed, had someone been hurt? But then, a moment later, she heard Grunt's voice, pleading. "See? Why do that? What's wrong?"

"Okeer didn't imprint anything to help you figure this out?" asked Shepard.

"I see pictures of old battles, voices of warlords. But this is… a blood haze in my head. I want control. When we're moving, fighting, I focus. But here, my blood screams, my plates itch, and even you are just noise! I'm tank born, what is this?"

Elaine thought about this. What did tank-born mean? Why was Grunt able to see things and hear voices, was it some form of magic? No, Shepard didn't address it as such, he'd said 'imprints'. Did that mean it was some form of knowledge passed down to Grunt from a parent? From the description of his pent-up aggression, Elaine wondered if the poor Krogan was feeling ill.

Apparently, Shepard had the same thought, for she heard him say: "EDI? Anything in your files about Krogan diseases that could cause this?"

 _"_ _Cerberus has a number of autopsies on file,"_ came the spirit's voice, _"_ _but nothing on a living Krogan of this age and situation. Krogan are reluctant to share medical records."_

"My people were defeated by doctors and labs." Spat Grunt. "They will never let stuff like that leave the homeworld, Tuchanka."

"Sorry Grunt, but we're not making side-stops. Like EDI said, it doesn't look like there's anything we can do. The ship is headed for the next part of our mission, and I need to know that you'll keep this contained until we can direct it on our enemies. Am I understood?"

There was a tense silence. And then the bass of a low growl made the metal along the walls and even the door rattle slightly. When Grunt finally spoke, his voice curt, sarcastic, almost vindictive. "Fine, Shepard. If you say so…"

Stomping footsteps came closer. Elaine hurriedly ducked into the doorway leading back to the stairwell to avoid being spotted. The whoosh of the doors sounded twice, and Shepard's heavy footfalls rattled the grating on the floor. The Warden waited until the Commander had made it to the elevator, listened out for the sound of the metal box taking its cargo away. Only then did she hesitantly poke her head out to make sure he was gone. Eyes narrowed, it only took her a moment to weigh up the options that suddenly presented themselves before her. From what she understood, Grunt needed help. And whether his loyalty was to her command or another's, as a rule – and absolute law – Elaine did not leave any member of her team alone. If they needed help, she saw to it. No exceptions. With that decided, she turned sharply to Grunt's door and marched right in.

Upon hearing his door open and close again, the Krogan turned his massive hunched body to peer at the intruder. Elaine was confronted by the glare of his brilliant cold-blue eyes. His lips peeled back over his teeth like a feral animal in warning. "Get out of here, human. I am in no mood for you or anyone else right now."

Elaine's shoulders were squared, her spine straight, her feet planted. With tightened fists, she demanded in her cold and authoritative voice. "And what will you do if I don't?"

Now he really did growl at her. "Crush your spine with just a finger. Humans are soft that way."

The Warden met his glare and growl with her own. "Try it."

She saw the moment his slit-pupils thinned and the anger took hold. With a loud roar, the hulking Krogan charged straight for her.

* * *

Shepard groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose to try and ease the headache forming at the back of his eyes. He felt so tired, with the break-neck-pace he and his ship and crew had been on since the start of this mission, and now all the added drama on top of it. Grunt's latest problem was just a string of complaints and requests he'd been getting from a lot of others. It seemed like everyone had simultaneously decided that a _High-Urgency-Suicide-Mission_ was the best time to pick up all the old bones in their closets. God, Shepard thought, for once, he just wished he could have a crew that acted like normal, reasonable adults!

Apparently, he wasn't going to get his wish, as EDI's voice suddenly rang through the elevator in alarm. _"Commander. Grunt and Elaine appear to be in an altercation in his quarters."_

Shepard frowned, confused. "What the… oh shit." He trailed off as realisation hit him. He didn't know what could make the woman go into the Krogan's quarters, but he was pretty damn sure, she wasn't going to be walking back out if he didn't hurry. Slamming his hand onto the buttons of the elevator, he tried to demand it switch direction. He heard the box come to a very slow halt, and ever so slow wind its way back into gear in the opposite direction at a snail's pace. Shepard cursed. "Shit! Damn it, EDI! Can't this thing go any _faster_?!"

* * *

The Krogan charged, and easily reached Elaine within three long, ground-shaking strides. She held her ground right up until the last possible moment. When Grunt's arms swept out to grab hold of her to pull her in, Elaine deftly took one long step diagonally across from him and ducked out from his reach. With a resounding crash, Grunt slammed into the wall which she had just stood in front of. Using the opportunity, kicked out with a boot into the larger beast's small waist. She heard the Krogan grunt from her overly-forceful blow and whirled around to face her again.

Elaine stood just out of reach, and deliberately folded her arms across her chest and flicked her hair out of her face. "Sloppy. My grandmother could've gotten through that."

"I'll tear you apart!" Grunt bellowed.

This time he tried to swipe at her, and she had to admit, he was fast and powerful. But still, Elaine just about managed to evade his hold. She grinned maniacally at him. "Good! That's it! Get angry – but don't let this blood-haze win, Grunt."

"Wait," Grunt stopped short, alarmed at her knowledgeable comment. "How do you–"

"It's like you can't stop it, isn't it?" she pressed, pacing back and forth in front of him. "The rage. It makes your blood boil in your veins, it makes your muscles want to lash out, to fight, to scream, to do anything just to let it out."

"Yeah… yeah, it's exactly like that!"

"You want to control that?" she asked, coming to a stop. "I might not have a solution as your own people would do, Grunt. But I have something. Among the races of my home, we had warriors known as Berserkers. Fearless, terrifying warriors who harness their rage and pour it into battle."

It was a potentially risky move. Elaine was well aware. But from what she had seen, Grunt, out of all the other squadmates seemed the most suited for a Berserker fighting style. Yet Grunt's problem was in his inability to get out of touch with his anger, not engage with it. Though Berserkers were known for using their rage in battle, the techniques also helped to keep them calm when out of it. She only hoped this would pay off.

"But when I'm in battle, I'm fine." Grunt said. "It's when I'm not in battle I have the problem!"

"What is the difference? You fly into battle and things die. You push it all out so that when you come back, you're subdued." She told him sternly, like a mother when teaching her child. "The hard part is getting in touch with your rage."

Grunt snorted derisively, all interest in his eyes suddenly gone. "No, it's not. That's all too easy. You understand nothing. You're wasting my time!"

In an instant, Elaine reached deep into the pit of her stomach and pulled up all her rage and hate. She only had to think a single name: Howe. Just the image of his face was enough to summon all the fury she possessed. She pushed it into a single swing as her fist darted out to smash into the side of Grunt's mouth. Bones crunched and broke in her hand, but the pain was ignored while the abilities of the Berserker ran through her. The blow was hard enough that it sent Grunt staggering back a step. He looked up at her, alarmed, and saw the raw rage that darkened her eyes. With a deep and shuddering breath, Elaine forced herself to slowly shut off the anger, to let it sink down into its pit, and regain control of herself once more.

"You see?" her voice was eerily calm as she looked back up to Grunt's eyes. "We all learn to hold that back, it's why we don't kill every prick who looks at us sideways. The trick to being a Berserker is to shut that off. Find your hate, your anger, use it in battle – but to not let it control you. If you are let the fury rule you, as you are doing, you get sloppy, you make mistakes, you die."

Grunt seemed to be more interested than ever before. "You're one of these… Berserkers?"

She nodded. "For a long time when I first joined the Grey Wardens, I was angry. I'd suffered through loss and betrayal, through disappointment and abandonment. I had an impossible task ahead of me, and I was furious with the world for doing all of this to _me_. What had I done to deserve this? Why must I suffer? So, I took it out on my enemies, on those that generally got in my way, on any excuse I had for a fight… until a good friend of mine showed me how to control it. He was a warrior himself, a Berserker, and through it I learned to reserve my hate and fury for my enemies alone, so that I might function normally with my friends and comrades."

The image of Oghren came to mind, smiling drunkenly around the camp fire, mead-sack in hand, head and body tipping backwards as he lost himself to laughter. Elaine smiled wistfully. Poor Oghren, she thought. She couldn't help but wonder what became of him… if he'd survived the battle and gone back to Felsi at the Spoiled Princess, if he'd shown the world the real warrior he was underneath his drink. She remembered everyone almost despising his disgusting habits such as eating, drinking, hygiene, talking, breathing. But no matter what, he always managed to make people laugh, whether intentionally or not. It was something they all came to love him for. Elaine couldn't help her sadness at the thought she would never see her trusty dwarf again…

Grunt slammed his fists against his chest in excitement, drawing her attention back to the present. "That is what I want! To not have this… rage constantly pounding in my skull."

"I can teach you, if you like."

He grinned. "Do it."

"It might take time, depending on how quickly you learn. There are four levels of a Berserker, each one improving on the faults of the last but all working to use what you have."

"I want it. If Shepard won't take me to my people to learn what this is, then this will have to do."

"It shall be done, then."

"Thank you." He nodded, in a way that came across as sincere as he could manage. "I don't like this. Fury is my choice, not a sickness."

"Very well, the first level is the Berserk: to actually find what will drive you into a willing rage. The aim will be to use it to give strikes more power, but it will cost you in stamina in the long run–"

Suddenly, the doors rushed open and Shepard came rushing in. Upon seeing the pair, the Commander pulled up short. Elaine and Grunt looked at him peculiarly. Shepard scowled from one to the other. "What the hell is going on here?! EDI said you two were fighting!"

"Nonsense, Shepard," Elaine snorted, "I'm simply imparting a few useful lessons with Grunt to help him regain his self-control."

"You're… _teaching_ Grunt?" Shepard asked slowly.

"Of course, seeing as you refuse to seek assistance from his own people, I thought I might do what I can to help."

The Commander's brows came down, his lips drawing in a thin and hard line. "Okay, Elaine? Can I speak with you? Now."

"Don't be too long, Shepard." Grunt called out as the two humans vacated his quarters. "I wanna learn the ways of the Berserker!"

They stepped out in to the hallway, where Shepard suddenly stopped and spun on her. Hands on his hips, face utterly fuming, his breath even coming in short ragged puffs like a bull. Elaine's only reaction was to quirk her brow in curiosity.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing?" Shepard growled out in a low voice.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"No, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about!" he hissed, and punctuated the words by poking her hard in the chest. "I am the Commander aboard this ship, and for a stupid moment, I thought you actually understood that! You do not go behind my back to undermine my decisions!"

"I am not undermining your decisions as Commander, merely your lack of judgement!" Elaine snapped back and furiously smacked his hand aside with her arm that wasn't throbbing. Taking a moment to rein in her temper, when she next spoke she went to great lengths to make sure it sounded reasonable, calm. "You know that Grunt requires aid from his people to really learn how to focus, which would only be _beneficial_ for you and this team. And yet you won't do it?"

"We don't have time. We–"

"I know. You wish to get this FIF-thing,"

"IFF." He corrected.

"Whatever." She muttered dismissively. Stepping closer, she looked the Commander straight in the eye. "I understand that you want to get to the mission objective as soon as possible. Strike hard and fast so the enemy is caught unawares. Try to stop the threat before it has a chance to hurt people. Believe me, I know exactly how powerful a want that is. But your team is not ready, Shepard."

"Did Miranda put you up to this?" Shepard snarled under his breath. "That back-biting, ice-cold bit–"

"No one tells me what to do but myself." Elaine told him sharply. "Shepard, you are asking your team to brave this mission – a mission you yourself claim we have little chance of coming back from. To me, that is no problem. I have already made my peace with death. But can anyone else here say the same?"

The Commander was silent at that. He knew she was right in that regard. She pressed the advantage while she still had his attention.

"From what I understand, Grunt is still like a child; he has never known what life is, let alone if he is ready to die with so many questions as to what it pertains. What about the other members of your team? Do you really want them going into the final battle, with doubt and distractions running through their minds? What could I have done differently in life? Why didn't I do that before I did this? If they question why they're here, then they and potentially all the rest of us are dead."

Something in Shepard seemed to snap desperately, as if his mind was desperate not to go there. "And they could die anyway! So what's the point?"

"The point is to give them a chance!" she put her hands on Shepard's shoulders and forced him to look her in the eye. "Shepard, even you must wish to come out of this with the utmost success."

"Yes, but unlike you, Elaine, I'm actually realistic." But the words were muttered as if he despised the fact that it was so.

"And sometimes reality is cruel. But any _real_ soldier would know that the best team needs the best equipment and the best resolve in order to win the battle." When he glanced away she shook him gently to regain his focus on her words, and used all the silver-tongued charm she famously possessed in the hope he might see reason. "Shepard, if we lose people, then that is something we might not be able to avoid. But by the Maker, aren't you at least willing to try to let them go out, in one last glorious battle, with no regrets? All I know for certain, is that if you rush into this, you will lose people for certain. Just like before."

His eyes turned sharp. And she could almost see the memories of the time Joker had called "Akuze" playing across his mind. Stiffly, he extracted himself from her grip. "I see you've been doing a little digging."

"You know I speak truth."

There was a long silence. Through it all, Elaine could almost see the thoughts ticking over in Shepard's mind as he tried to rationalise and think through all that had been said. Elaine almost had to give him her respect for thinking at all. Most would simply dismiss the opinions of another in order to see their own as the best option available. And whilst Shepard thought, Elaine stood, resolute and unbending. If he wouldn't listen to her, then so be it, she had made her peace, and could only pray to the Maker that this was something they'd all come back from. And then finally, Shepard let out a heavy sigh, as if letting himself be crushed under some weight, as his shoulders drooped, and his head sank into his chest.

"Fine." He whispered, and then raised his gaze to the ceiling. "EDI? Tell Joker we're switching course. Set off in the general direction of Tuchanka. And tell Jack I want to speak to her in my cabin."

" _Of course, Shepard."_

Elaine smiled and bowed her head in gratitude. Shepard, apparently weary, nodded almost in embarrassment, and began a hasty retreat back towards the elevator. As she watched him leave, Elaine couldn't stop the words that sprang forth to the tip of her tongue.

"And Shepard?" she called. He stopped and turned to look at her. Suddenly nervous, the Warden swallowed back her pride and reservations, and let the words speak themselves. "Speaking of truth… There's… um, there's something I need to speak with you about, as well. I have a confession to make."

* * *

 **A/N: Hello lovely readers! I am so sorry I took a two week absence there, but I have moved, and switched career paths rather suddenly and had to adjust to a brand new schedule. But don't worry, hopefully I'll be back to updating every MONDAY, so I hope you will all join me!**

 **And can I just say a huge thank you to everyone who has been leaving me such fantastic feedback! You guys really don't know how much your support means to me and this story.**

 **Also, I'd like to say a big thank you/congratulations to** edboy4926 **for predicting this particular story event of Elaine teaching Grunt how to use the Berserker abilities to properly use and control his rage. Let's just say I love baby-Grunt vibes, so this was particularly fun for me to write. I always think of my Shepard as a mother-figure to him.**

 **Now please feel free to leave a review - pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease! Or go and see some of the artwork connected with this story, or anything! Just let me know what you think, I crave any and all feedback! Until next Monday my lovely readers!**


	12. The Professor

Chakwas tended to Elaine's broken hand whilst the Warden began to explain everything to Shepard. From start to finish, she told him exactly what she'd told Garrus, perhaps more. She needed to be certain he understood her predicament fully. Through it all, the man stayed unreadable and silent, not even stopping her to make comments or ask questions. In all truth, this only made Elaine more nervous as she had no way to know whether to switch tactics. She was there for perhaps twenty minutes talking everything out. And by the time Chakwas had turned off her machine to help fuse her bones back together, she was finished.

"There. It wasn't a serious break," said the doctor. "But I would still give it a week before you decide to hit anyone again – least of all a Krogan."

Elaine thanked the good doctor, who seemed to know the other two humans needed privacy, and so walked out of the room. The Warden waited patiently as Shepard seemed to think long and hard in silence. His hard steel gaze was fixed firmly on the floor. Time passed, and just when Elaine was starting to fidget, Shepard looked up.

"So let me see if I understand this…" he said slowly. "You're saying you're from a… different world? As in a time and space separate from this one? A world with thousands of years of history, filled with swords and magic and dragons?"

"Yes."

It was as if he couldn't help himself when he snorted under his breath. "Just like that, a fantasy land? What is this, Middle-Earth?"

"I don't know what that is, Shepard." Elaine frowned. When Shepard threw her look, she realised he'd been joking. "And no. My world is called Thedas."

He sighed. "And you have no proof of this?"

"The only thing I could is the taint. The corruption we found in the Collectors is the same in me, it comes from the Darkspawn."

"Which are evil monsters from your planet that follow something called an Archdemon in order to destroy the world. Am I right?"

"I did tell you I am familiar with the apocalypse."

Shepard rubbed his face as if tired. Leaning forward on his seat, his elbows rested on his knees. "Look, Elaine… apart from the fact that this taint is the only link you have to back up your story, you have to admit: It's a bit much…"

"I do not expect you to believe me," standing from where she'd sat on one of the beds, she studied the light bandages that covered her hand, flexing her fingers to test the pain and ability to move them. "However, I needed to tell you. I could not go on pretending and tiptoeing around you on what I should reveal about myself. I want to find a way home, Shepard, more than anything. But so long as I am here for the time being, I want to live honestly."

"But it sounds crazy–!"

"I know it does. I do not require your belief. I only want you to accept it. Is that enough?"

Shepard stared at her, eyes searching hers. Perhaps he needed to see that she was not playing him for a fool, perhaps he needed to confirm her conviction. When Shepard stared into one such as he did now, Elaine was reminded of the stare of a High-Dragon. A hypnosis came over the subject with a heavy silence that seemed to trick the mind into being filled. It made one want to fall under its spell, to reveal all. And it seemed that when Elaine had nothing more to give him, Shepard finally relented. "Fine, yeah." His omni-tool gave a loud bleep. Summoning the golden ghost that surrounded his arm, Shepard seemed to read a text that appeared. "That's Mordin. Says he wants you up in his lab for tests."

"Very well," Elaine nodded and briskly walked towards the door. She only paused mid-step briefly in order to cast the Commander one last look. "And thank you, Shepard."

She made her way up to the CIC deck. She passed Kelly and they exchanged brief greetings before the Warden carried on her way towards the labs where Professor Mordin studied. She had rarely been up here, and even rarer still interacted with the large-eyed doctor. He was courteous enough, and Elaine showed him respect that seemed to be owed someone of his age and experience. Though she didn't know how old he was, by the lines surrounding his eyes, one horn missing, and the aura that surrounded him of an old soul, she guessed he was getting on in life. Yet the Salarian was a contradiction to her. For all his worldliness, the man spoke so fast and with such excitability he reminded her of a child. Perhaps this was common amongst his people? She didn't know, she would need to have more interactions with them when next they docked.

The lab was like the rest of the ship, made entirely of metal, where every floor, wall and ceiling shone like silver. This room in particular seemed especially bright, as if Mordin polished it every day to keep it as immaculate as possible. Every table, shelf and bench seemed to be filled with contraptions, vials and pieces of equipment that Elaine didn't recognise. Each one looked intricate and complicated in its design and behaviours, she was afraid to touch anything for fear of breaking something accidentally. Despite having the best education a noble could have, Elaine had been almost a hopeless student. Aside from swordplay and silver-tongued politics, the only thing she'd excelled at was history. Maths, science, art, it had all been lost on her, much to her tutor's woe. But history had fascinated her unendingly, there was always something to discover. It had even taken hold of her during her travels amidst the Blight. Her journal had been filled with pieces of scrap paper, notes, letters and anything she could jot down or stuff in it pertaining to any piece of history, culture or juicy little story.

"Elaine, welcome! Excellent timing." Came Mordin's voice. Elaine's eyes found the salarian as he approached her. He hurriedly gestured her towards the main table in the centre of the room, of which he seemed to have cleared a small space for her. "Wanted to go over a few tests, procedures, genetic analysis. Nothing too strenuous."

She nodded, though didn't quite understand. Obediently, she sat herself on the edge of the table and watched cautiously as Mordin pottered about around her. "Professor Solus, it is a pleasure to see you again. I don't see you much on the rest of the ship,"

"Prefer to stay focused on work, much more efficient to stay whilst I eat, sleep and… other functions…" he trailed off, and seemed to come back to himself with a snap and a smile. "Have to leave from time to time, of course. Always good to socialise, gain new inspiration, new perspectives."

"Well, then I shall have to come to see you more often."

"Yes, yes, more on that later. Needed to see you to run tests!" he fiddled about with several vials and approached her with what looked to be a tube with a long needle attached at the end. "Data gathered from Collector vessel very intriguing. Also interested in ability to remain undetected by Seeker Swarms."

Before Elaine could sharply ask what he intended to do with that thing, the Proffesor had taken hold of her left arm and pierced the skin in her elbow with it. Elaine yelped loudly at the sharp stab of pain. Her skin crawled when she watched the vial in Mordin's hand slowly fill with her blood. Rather quickly, Mordin retracted the needle and placed a small square of wool over the wound. He encouraged Elaine to apply pressure as he withdrew his hands and she did so. The salarian turned his back on her as he placed a few drops of her blood from the vial onto a piece of glass and placed it in the belly of a machine. The Warden tried to get a better look at what he was doing, her spine going cold. Was Mordin a blood-mage? She didn't think so, but what need was there to draw blood otherwise?

Mordin spoke, but it wasn't entirely clear whether he was speaking to her or himself. "EDI's analysis suggests a toxin, possible virus, similar in you to Collectors. Already studying Collector tissue samples. Hope for interesting results."

Elaine's brow quirked upwards. "Interesting?"

"If current hypothesis is correct, could replicate toxin – non-lethal, of course. Could find fool-proof way to avoid Seeker Swarms. Also possible bio-weapon against Collectors. Worked on Krogan… Something to consider."

It took a moment for Elaine to process the incredible speed with which he talked before her brain began to pick apart what she _did_ understand. "I take it that you've been very busy studying what Shepard found?"

His grin was the most enthusiastic thing she'd ever seen. "Yes! Discovery. Based on Prothean-Collector connection, can examine technology, chart Reaper species modification. Fall of Protheans."

"Oh? What happened then?"

"Early stages similar to Indoctrination. Can guess captured Protheans lost intelligence over several cloned generations. Cybernetic augmentation widespread afterward. As Protheans failed, Reapers added tech to compensate. Mental capacity almost gone, replaced by overworked sensory input, transfers. Transmitting data to masters."

"I'm not sure I understood all those… big words, Mordin." Her brain honestly felt as if it was melting trying to keep up. "Do you mean to say the Collectors are under some form of slavery? They have no choice in what they do?"

"No, not slaves. Not even alive. Not really. No glands, replaced by tech. No digestive system, replaced by tech. No soul… replaced by tech. Whatever they were, gone forever. Understand now?" he tilted his head at her, as if imploring her to see why the outraged passion was slowly seeping into his voice. "No art, no culture. Closer to husks than slaves. Tools for Reapers. Protheans dead, Collectors just final insult. Must be destroyed."

"You say that as if you are insulted. Did you not want them destroyed before?"

"Enjoyed challenge. Saw necessity of attack on Collectors after plague on Omega. Their work, my people." Before she could ask what he meant by that reference, he was already talking ahead. "Hard to care about two armies. One wins, one loses. Always work to be done after. Now have more context, see what Collectors are."

Though, being a soldier herself, Elaine had something to argue on the matter to that particular point, she decided to leave it aside for now and press the current objective of the conversation. "So then why does this bother you?"

"Disrupts socio-technological balance! All scientific advancement due to intelligence overcoming, compensating for limitations. Can't carry a load, so invent wheel. Can't catch food, so invent spear. _Limitations!_ No limitations, no advancement. No advancement, culture stagnates!" he exclaimed as if this were the most awful thing that could happen. And then he became quiet, introspective. "Works other way, too. Advancement before culture is ready, disastrous. Saw it with Krogan. Uplifted by Salarians. Disastrous. Our fault."

That caught her attention with a deep feeling in her gut that this was important. "What are you taking about? I'm not sure I quite understand."

"Rachni Wars. Galaxy on brink of destruction. My people found Krogan. Saw their aggression, durability, able to fight on toxic worlds Rachni inhabited – worlds other soldiers couldn't go. We uplifted them. Brought them into spaceflight era before their time. Unwise. Rash. Disastrous."

"You don't agree with what your people did?"

"No. Like giving nuclear weapons to cavemen. Krogan unprepared for spaceflight, technological advance. Krogan could have evolved alone. Worked out aggression. Been ready to use new tech responsibly. Instead, Salarians came. Disrupted Krogan culture. Used Krogan as blunt instruments of war against Rachni. Short sighted. Foolish."

Elaine thought hard on that one. She could easily agree that the Krogan people were very aggressive and dangerous, if Grunt was the standard for their behaviour. To think that they had been a people chosen as warriors to defeat an unmatched enemy, it guaranteed respect in her eyes. Yet there was apparently something so wrong with them that Mordin felt they needed treatment afterwards? Whatever it was, it surely didn't work, for Grunt was still a rather aggressive individual. Or had they been _more_ dangerous to begin with? So many questions this new world and peoples and cultures provided her, and all she wanted to do was sit down and absorb it all, just to not feel so behind.

Mordin went to one of his other machines and fiddled around with his omni-tool. Elaine almost didn't hear the snide comment that was murmured under his breath. "Almost as foolish as saying you come from another world…"

Her head shot up in alarm that he knew, but she quickly rationalised a conclusion. "Ah. Shepard told you, did he?"

"Messaged me before you arrived. Thought my ' _scientific brain_ ' could offer insight." He held up two fingers in air-quotations. "Ridiculous. Practical impossibility. Humans only colonise within last century. Impossible to have separate older colony. Take language, culture again! Speak earth English. Customs, mannerisms reminiscent of medieval – possibly renaissance. Impossible to have even those similarities if separated from main culture for hundreds of years, as you claim. Language, dialect, could've evolved in any number of ways depending on societal or environmental factors."

"Mordin, I can't tell you anything other than what I know–"

"Claims to have just ' _woken up_ ' on Horizon, yes?" he pressed. Elaine nodded. "Again, highly improbable. Go from one planet to another. Unable to make that distance without spaceflight. Can't even do that so quickly without Mass Relay."

"Alright, then… What if I'm from the past?"

"Please. Dealing with reality, not science-fiction." He snorted derisively. "No science can bend the flow of time. Highly unlikely you did with ' _a bang_ '. Even if possible, would need to reach unmatched speed in order to skip along time-space-continuum to reach goal ahead in time. Body not that durable. Would explode from heat if you tried."

With the way he spoke to her as if she were a silly-child, Elaine's temper began to ignite. "I don't claim to have the answers to this question, Mordin. I only know that I'm here."

"Likely delusions brought on by mental instability."

"Excuse me?" she scowled.

"Can't discredit Chakwas's finds though." The professor spoke with a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. "Great doctor. Good woman. Always brilliant work. Couldn't find any record of prior existence. Couldn't have gotten to Horizon without medical trace. Big mystery. Look forward to working on results!"

As if on cue, the machine that had been fed Elaine's blood gave a loud noise. Mordin hurried over towards it and began to pull up the findings on his omni-tool. Elaine watched him, innards broiling with her anger.

"I have the impression, _Professor_ , that you seem to think I'm crazy." She growled out. Mordin's silence seemed rather telling. "I am _not_ crazy!"

"All minds believe they're sane. Even unstable ones."

"Perhaps you're right, it was all a dream. Maybe it is some delusion that has taken over my mind." She snapped, and used an old trick she'd used on her tutor whenever they'd reached an argument. "However, my perceived reality is what I interpret it to be. You cannot convince me otherwise because your reality is based on personal experienced completely different to mine. With that logic, how could you convince me the sky was blue when I've always seen it as purple?"

Yet instead of getting frustrated and arguing back with logic, Mordin looked delighted. "Ah! Now get into philosophies! Most enjoyable."

He turned back to his work, and Elaine saw his brows knit together as he read the text that came up. Though she knew it to be pointless, it was now a point of pride to convince him of her truth. But then she began to grow sober as she realised what exactly it was he was looking for amongst his results.

"I already know what's in there." She said. "You're going to find something that doesn't belong. A splotch, a toxin, a poison: corruption. It's probably trying to destroy my body, even if I am already adapted to it."

"Yes… Antibodies look stronger, able to resist effects of virus. Working to keep it at bay, though. Unable to destroy it. Blood-cells and virus appear to work together, almost in symbiosis – No! Parasitic! Virus uses cells, then devours them!" he seemed to lose momentum as it dawned on him. Slowly, he turned to study her most intently. "How? Knows what to expect. Extensive research into subject? Unlikely. Accepted this as norm. _Voluntary_?!"

"This is the Blight." Elaine murmured, her voice becoming emotionless as she recited simple facts. "It is similar to that which we found in the Collector Ship, what is also present in the Collectors, yes?"

"Yes. 98% similarities. Same between humans and chimpanzees. Difference able distinguish, yet so similar as to be uncanny. This more organic in structure. Collector version appears modified, industrialised. Made for longer inhabitation before cellular destruction."

"On my world – which you may or may not believe in – there is a plague we call the Blight. It runs rampant in the Darkspawn, and they infect everything around them with it. In order to combat them, the Grey Wardens were formed. And we battle the Darkspawn by taking their taint into us."

"How? To what effect?"

"We enter a ritual called the joining. We drink a potion concocted of Darkspawn blood, Lyrium, a single drop of blood from an Archdemon, and other magical ingredients I couldn't tell you at this time." It did occur to Elaine that she was revealing too much. Her order was known for its secrecy, and to spill so many secrets to an outsider would be a cardinal sin. But then she figured, she was the last of the Grey Wardens here in this place, and no one believed her anyway. What was the point in carrying on the bullshit when it benefited no one? "Some complete the joining, others do not. It is the test we must pass to be a Grey Warden."

"No test! Genetic lottery!" Mordin spluttered in outrage. "Corruption bonds with certain factors in DNA. Unknown at this time, but is no test. Some have it, some don't. Flip of a coin, chance if this would work at all!"

"Through this ceremony, we become one with the Blight. Wardens are able to sense the Darkspawn, some can even… can even hear the Archdemon." She couldn't stop the shiver that ran down her spine, the nightmare still fresh in her mind. "It is not a cure to the Blight's effects, just a delay."

"What? How so?"

"Wardens are tied to the Blight. That doesn't mean we are invulnerable to it forever. Any other person who has not partaken in the Joining, if exposed to the taint will begin to be poisoned, corrupted, their minds and bodies succumb. Wardens suffer this too, just at a slower pace. After the joining, we have around twenty to thirty years to live, give or take."

"What happens after?"

"The corruption is like a hive-mind, it connects all the Darkspawn together in a song we named 'The Calling'. It is music, terrible and wonderful and deadly. When a Warden's time has come, they begin to hear the music… like a song you can't get out of your head. When that comes, the Warden makes a journey into the Deep Roads to face the Darkspawn one last time, to go out in glorious battle. If they don't… eventually our minds and bodies surrender until we become like the Darkspawn ourselves."

"Process like indoctrination. Prefer to die than submit. Commendable. But not acceptable. Infect terminal illness inside otherwise healthy individual."

"It is the only way."

"Not solution, more problems! Apply 'medicine' to help combat virus, but pollutes host anyway. Slow death. Unacceptable." Mordin ranted, the most upset Elaine had ever seen him. Yet in his anger, he brought his fist up to his chin, brows furrowing in sudden thought. "Can only wonder how Collectors came in contact with it. During exploration? Unknown planet, unknown bio-weapon. Possible. Could've infected Collectors. No cure available. Possible Reaper interference? Change corruption in the DNA strand so as to behave differently? Will need time to theorise. Implications… problematic."

After his little tirade was done, Elaine sat there, as if awaiting something. When all there was, was silence, she tentatively spoke up. "So… does that mean you believe me?"

"What? No!" He quickly snapped to ward of such an implication. Elaine couldn't help the way she flinched, and Mordin's eyes softened. He drew in a long breath. "But, understand now. Mystery too deep to answer straight away. Too many variables to consider. Appreciate new challenge. Will need to form tests and analysis to find answers."

"You like working on things like this, don't you?"

"Reminds me of best years of my life." A wistful smile graced his wide mouth. "Worked on genophage modification project. Whole team in STG working on it. Ego. Argument. Passion. Galaxy's biggest problem, endless resources thrown at us. Good work."

Elaine narrowed her eyes as if she were a hawk zeroing in on her prey. "You've mentioned the _genophage_ before… what is it exactly?"

"After Rachni wars was only answer to Krogan aggression." Mordin murmured, and dare Elaine think it, but something close to regret sounded in his voice. "Worked with others. Assistant mainly… Good you convinced Shepard to head to Tuchanka. Have mission of my own to complete there."


	13. The Memories

"Jacob," said Shepard as he strolled into the armoury. "You wanted to see me?"

The Cerberus soldier didn't even look up from his work station, apparently far too engrossed. "Commander. I wanted you to have a look at this."

Shepard strolled over to Jacob's work bench to see Elaine's old armour on the table-top. The subtle light of scans told him something was up, and the way Jacob's brows were fixed permanently down almost confirmed it. Jacob handed his commander his datapad, which Shepard glossed over. Several key words caught his attention, causing him to back-track in order to re-read and focus on the actual words. He could feel his eyebrows drawing down to match Jacob's.

He looked up at his subordinate. "What the hell?"

All Mr Taylor could do was shrug. "Just like it says, Commander. Put me through a loop too." He pointed to one of the strange stones embedded in the armour's chest-plate, what Elaine had called a rune. "These things, whatever they are, are made out of some kind of Element Zero."

" _Some kind_ of Element Zero?"

EDI's voice reverberated around the room. "The two share a similarity that is unmistakable, Shepard. However, the Element Zero present in these runes is more of a refined version."

"It looks like it's been watered-down, beaten in and mixed up with a bunch of different things," said Jacob. "It's still potent, but almost safe to handle. Element Zero can cause tumours, dementia and other nasty side-effects when handling it unsafely. But this you can toss around no problem. And that's not all…"

Shepard frowned. "There's more?"

At first, Jacob said nothing. Instead, he sat the armour upright on an absorption-rack, designed specifically to soak up bullets so none could escape when in a precarious environment like a shape-ship. Walking to the other side of the room, Jacob took out his pistol and aimed at the stomach of the armour. The shot fired, and a neat little hole was left in the chainmail. Shepard was about to retort, but was silenced when Jacob held up a finger to wait. This time, he aimed for the centre rune. When the pistol fired, they heard a clang as the bullet hit the table instead. Shepard struggled not to let his jaw drop.

Jacob picked up his datapad again. "EDI, replay that last shot for me."

On the datapad, a playback recording of the bullet headed straight for the rune was shown. Impossibly, they witnessed in slow motion the bullet being _curved_ away from the rune it had been heading towards and deflected to the side.

The weapons master gave his commander a look. "That shit isn't supposed to be possible according to the laws of physics." He leaned back and folded his arms across his chest. "I don't know what exactly Elaine's got here, or what she did to get this result, but I know for a fact that this is not like any kind of technology we know of. This is not like shields and kinetic barriers, that's like… I don't know! It's like mag–"

"Don't say it." Shepard snapped. His mind was spinning. Running his fingers through his short bristly hair, he tried to make his thoughts slow down a little so he could focus on one thing at a time. An idea came to him, not a very good one, but it was all he could think of to do. He pulled up his omni-tool and keyed in a message. "Samara, I've got a favour to ask."

* * *

They touched down on a world in the _Caleston Rift_ , Elaine reminded herself as she jumped out of the shuttle. With the Normandy sailing (or flying, or whatever!) through the infinite stars, the Warden had gone to Joker and EDI and requested the use of a map to help her keep track of where they were and where they'd been. During her travels in the Blight, she'd guarded the duty to look at the map with a fierce jealousy! It was an element of control she'd never been able to easily relinquish, to plot the course of where they were going, mark their progress and see what lay ahead. So she saw no reason not to at least try to familiarise herself with this now. Joker had happily provided her with a map sent to her omni-tool (and it had taken her ten minutes to learn how to call up the map on command, as the strange glowing thing on her arm confused her greatly). He'd then found it extremely hilarious to watch her become daunted when the sheer magnitude of their environment dawned on her.

They were travelling through _stars_! She'd brushed away that fact before, but now it was becoming clear to her just how miraculous that feat was. They worlds, like her own, floated around suns, which were actually stars, and these were grouped together in clusters, that were each separated by millions of miles of emptiness. The Normandy had to travel all these great distances between them. So Elaine had dedicated herself to pouring over the map and recording their way, and learning how all of this seemed related to one another. Her mind processed it as the Normandy sailing through the ocean that separated different clusters of islands, and each island had several mountains and each mountain a single village for them to locate. So precise, so wonderfully genius!

Stepping out beside Tali, the pair of them followed Shepard as he lead the way into a canyon. Apparently, they were here to help with some sort of mining project. Shepard wanted to see if he could harvest the mineral resources that were here. Elaine was a little excited for this mission, it was her first one alongside Tali. It would be a great opportunity to learn the skills of the other.

They made their way in deeper and Shepard discovered one of those magical scrolls things he called a data-pad. Beside it sat a little white contraption, that when activated, grew into a full-sized golem! When Elaine tried to speak to it, she was met with giggles from Tali and an eye-roll from Shepard. Apparently, the golem was not fully conscious like Shale had been, and was more mindless like the Golems lurking in the Deep Roads. It was low on energy as well, it seems, for it had to be escorted by them, with new 'batteries' put in to keep it moving. Elaine didn't know exactly what they were, but chalked it up to magic.

"I wonder who's soul was used to make this one…" Elaine couldn't help herself from wondering aloud.

Tali looked over at her, and by the glow of her eyes behind her helmet, Elaine thought she was frowning. "What?"

"I mean that, golems, at least on my world, are created through the magic of sacrificing a life to fuel the golem-to-be. The soul is taken from flesh and put into stone instead." She'd learned it the hard way through her search of the Anvil of the Void, and its dreadful secrets she'd uncovered in the process.

"Elaine," Shepard murmured in exasperation. "This is not a golem, it's just a normal mech. A Robot. Synthetic."

"Synthetic?"

"An artificial construction. A machine," Tali provided. "Something made through metal and gears and wires. A mech like a Loki is only given enough intelligence to be told who's friend or foe, how to move, and how to shoot."

Elaine adjusted her footing as they began to walk down a steep incline. "Given?"

"Yes. A synthetic lifeform is only as good as its programming." When Elaine still looked confused, Tali's fingers clicked against her helmet in thought. "What I mean is… We can create this virtual intelligence, we create a simple mind able to only comprehend the basics of what it needs to do. It's the same as any tool you would use to get the job done – just with a computer attached."

The Warden scoffed. "You make it sound so trivial – to create an entire person."

"It's not a person. Mechs are VI's. Not AI's."

"What's the difference?"

"VI stands for Virtual Intelligence, it's like an imitation of reality, but not conscious or sapient. AI stands for Artificial Intelligence. That is a fully conscious and evolved mind made from a machine."

Elaine opened her mouth to speak but all the confusion under the pressure of new information made her groan. "Oh…. My head hurts…"

"Think of it like this: VI's are Mechs – stupid and not alive. AI's are things like… like EDI! Or the Geth."

"What's the Geth?"

"The mistake of my people." Tali almost growled out under her breath, head cast down. "The Geth were originally created to serve as a manual labour force. Initially, their intelligence was as limited as any VI. Over time we made small modifications to their programming to allow them to perform more varied and complex tasks, bringing them closer and closer to true AI status."

"It's amazing the council didn't see what you were doing and stopped you…" said Shepard, evidentially, despite leading the team, he was still listening carefully to the conversation. He seemed to think about his words, and then screwed up his face. "Actually, you know what? No, it isn't."

Elaine glanced at Tali. "Was what you were doing illegal, then?"

"No, not exactly. The council forbids any kind of AI, for the same reason as to why the Geth turned on us. But what we were doing wasn't true AI research, we may have been skirting the bounds of the law, but we never did anything that was actually illegal. The changes were so insignificant, so gradual, that we were able to control them… or so we thought. But one thing we underestimated was the power of the neural network." Tali had to stop and backtrack when Elaine's face only grew more befuddled. "Um, basically, the Geth have limited intelligence on their own, but when they're in a group, they think all together."

"Like a hive mind?"

"A little, yes. The Geth are more intelligent when in groups. And more dangerous."

"What made them rebel?"

"As we built more and more Geth, their effective intelligence became more sophisticated, more abstract. One day, a Geth began to ask its Quarian overseer questions about the nature of its existence. Am I alive? Why am I here? What is my purpose? Does this unit have a soul? As you can imagine, this caused a near panic among my people."

The Warden didn't see anything wrong with such innocent questions. "But why?"

"The Geth were created to engage in mundane, repetitive or dangerous manual labour. That's fine for machines, but it won't satisfy a sentient being for long. The Geth were showing signs of rudimentary self-awareness and independent thought. If the Geth were intelligent, then we were essentially using them as slaves. It was inevitable they would rebel against their situation."

"And did they?"

Tali's voice grew mournful. "Yes. The war was long and bloody. Millions upon millions of Quarians died at their hands. In the end, we were forced to flee our own homeworld. We feared the Geth would pursue us, but they never did. That was three hundred years ago. Now, we drift through space, exiled, searching for a way to one day reclaim what was once ours. And it's why my people hate the Geth."

Elaine sighed. "It seems no matter where you go, no matter what people you meet, hate seems to follow."

The Commander snorted sarcastically. "I honestly don't think the Quarians and the Geth have got anything on the Krogan's hatred of the turians."

Tali rolled her head in a slight way that suggested she was rolling her eyes. "Yeah, Shepard, but the Krogans hate everybody."

Elaine threw them both a look. "Err, the new-girl is lost here."

"The Krogan breed like crazy. On a planet like Tuchanka where everything that moves wants you dead, that's okay, the population is stable." Explained Shepard with a shrug. "But on any other world, their numbers can quickly pop out of control. About a thousand years ago they went to war on the galaxy. Turians beat them into submission."

"And then slapped on the genophage for good measure." Grumbled Tali bitterly.

Elaine chewed her lip, and wondered if there would ever be a conversation to come up where she wasn't completely lost and looking like the fool. "…Looks like I need to read a history book to catch up."

They plodded along deeper through the canyon. The monotonous clumping stomps of the mech echoing around them the entire way. The only brief divergence from this repetition was when two animals that Tali and Shepard referred to as 'Varren' attempted to attack them. They reminded Elaine of dogs, in a way… very large, scaly dogs… with _huge_ teeth. As she predicted, Elaine did manage to get a good look at how Tali fought. Her gun-weapon of choice was a powerful blast that let loose a _bang_ as loud as a Qunari cannon, and perhaps did as much damage at short range. When she needed to get a target at longer range, she deployed a wisp – that was Elaine recognised it as, anyhow. A multicoloured sphere that floated in mid-air in a most transfixing way. Despite the Varrens' ferocity, they were easily dispatched; Shepard didn't even have to raise his gun. Tali and Elaine took care of it rather easily. And then it was back to the long slow walks with the robot. Finally they reach the end of their goal, and apparently found a huge deposit of minerals they could bring back to the Normandy.

"You know what, Shepard? I think this was possibly the most boring mission ever conceived." Elaine said as they waited for the flying carriage to come back and pick them up. She glanced over at Tali. "No offence to company present, of course."

"None taken."

Shepard put his hands on his hips, and growled to himself. "I kinda agree. If we didn't need these minerals for upgrades, I'd say this was a complete waste of time."

"Let's make up for it then?" the Warden suggested. "Maybe just kick back with the rest of the crew."

Tali perked up excitedly. "I'm game!"

"You two can do what you like." Shepard murmured, as his eyes slid to Elaine in a way she decided she didn't quite like. "But first, Elaine, when we get back I need you to do something for me…"

* * *

Samara awaited them in her room on the starboard observation deck. Where normally she would meditate looking out onto the void of space and stars, now she stood strung tight like a bow-string. When Elaine and Shepard entered the room, the Commander quickly locked the door behind them. The Warden felt her earlier feeling of unease intensify like a wild animal cut off from open space. Shepard had not told her what he wanted her for during the journey back to the ship, and though Elaine did not distrust him, she'd survived through too much to not be wary when something was so obviously creeping up on her. Her eyes remained on Samara, even as Shepard went to stand beside the Justicar. Though their interactions had been brief since Samara had joined the crew, Elaine still trusted her, still felt that kinship from someone who seemed to resemble something of her own old world.

"Shepard, are you certain of this course of action?" Samara asked, her voice hushed yet still pointed like a razor's edge. "What you ask is a very personal experience."

The commander shrugged. "I'm out of ideas. This is the only way."

"Debateable."

Elaine cleared her throat loudly, her gaze irritable as she looked from one to the other. "Would someone please like to explain to me what's going on?"

"Elaine, what you told me about… where you come from," Shepard hedged as if unsure how to word it. "Such a thing just isn't possible."

The Warden could stop her anger from blooming to life deep within her chest. This again? She had no problem with letting loose a very real growl in the back of her throat. "Shepard, can you not show even the faintest trust in–"

"Let me finish." He cut her off sharply. Though her glare was hot, she held her tongue so that he might continue. "I was gonna write you off as just crazy. However, some of the things you talk about, those runes on your armour, and your connection with the Collectors, points to the fact that there's something more going on here. And it's something that I need proof of."

"So what do you suggest? You know I have no proof other than my own word."

He did not answer her question straight away, instead he sank back into one hip, arms crossed over his chest. "What do you know about Asari physiology, Elaine?"

"Only what your scrolls say." She spoke carefully, unsure where this path was going but unable to change its course either way. "An all-female race able to mate with anyone from any species to reproduce."

"Do you know how?" when she shook her head, he explained. "Asari don't take the physical DNA of their partners to fertilise their embryos. As in, they don't need sperm from a male counterpart. Instead, they connect their consciousness to yours and map the traits from you that they want to hand over to their offspring."

Samara, who had been stood silent and patient throughout the short exchange only now voiced her slight disapproval. "That's a very simplified way of putting it, Commander."

"It'll have to do for now." He murmured before turning back to his other human companion. "Elaine, part of that ability means that Asari can look through someone's memories."

She tried very hard not to give a visible reaction, even if her blood suddenly ran cold. Every instinct inside her screamed caution. It was perhaps a miracle that she managed to keep her voice so calm. "Forgive me, Shepard, but I do not feel entirely comfortable with you wanting to put my mind under the control of another. Where I'm from that is a symptom of Blood-Magic."

Samara stepped forward, her eyes unrelenting but serene. "Elaine, I can swear to you that I would not be taking control over your mind. All I can do is see, not touch."

"And it's a sure way to know if you're telling the truth." Added Shepard.

"I would not say so, Commander." Samara said. "The mind is not a force of steel as you would like to believe. A mind is perhaps more fragile to tampering than hard evidence of a crime. If one were to believe in something so completely, filled with delusions and waking dreams, that is all I would see. Think about it: a schizophrenic might see things that is not there, talk to voices only they can hear, and an Asari would be able to verify those voice because that is what the schizophrenic's mind perceives as truth. And even if you were completely true, then there would be no need for police detectives. All you would need is an Asari to discover the complete truth from the minds of suspects in every precinct. Yet that is not the case."

"Yeah, I know it's a pretty flawed plan," Shepard scratched the back of his head uncertainly. "But even if all you see are dreams and manipulations that've made her think it's real, maybe we can pick something apart to find the real truth."

Elaine's temper flared. "Does no one care of my say in all this?!"

"Of course, Elaine," Samara immediately amended and stepped close. "This is your mind, after all, and your choice. I will not violate you in such a way without your expressed permission. Nor do I think it would work without your cooperation."

Silence. The Warden stared between Shepard and Samara, her mind quickly racing through her options. It was the same as any decision she'd made back home. When confronted with a choice, her head kicked into a form of super-speed to cypher through all the available paths and pick the correct consequences. It was the same here. She did not want anyone having control over her mind. That was a fundamental core belief in her very bones, and to violate it went against everything she believed in. She'd seen the effects of blood magic and thralls far too many times in order to willing submit herself into its clutches now. But if she refused she would appear to have something to hide. Shepard wanted her to do this, and whilst she still felt she didn't answer to his command, she knew he would not validate her until he had the proof he required. And perhaps doing this would reveal the truth in her words and she would start to be taken seriously? Samara gave her word that she would not tamper with Elaine's mind. The Warden felt there was a sense of trust between comrades, a code between warriors of justice such as they were. But did Elaine trust her that much?

Finally, she shook her head with a bursting breath through her nose. "Fine. Let's get this done."

"Very well." Samara nodded solemnly. Again, she took a step closer, until they were almost chest to chest. Cool fingers played across the side of Elaine's neck. Spookily, Elaine watched as Samara's eyes transformed from shimmering like the surface of the moon, to black as pitch. The Justicar's other hand swept over Elaine's face, and her deep voice intoned around the Warden's ears to lull her into compliance. "Close your eyes, Elaine. Trust me. Let yourself go… And _embrace eternity_."

 _A thousand images, sensations, scents and touches flashed through Elaine's mind so fast as they all were called upon. She was just a young girl with scraped knees chasing the young squires around the courtyard, with Highever Castle's proud spires shining above her. Then her father was teaching her swordplay along with her brother, and laughing and congratulating her in equal turns. Then her mother was helping her get ready for the Feastday celebrations in Denerim, an elven maid adorning her hair with flowers. And then she was watching her darling nephew come into the world, and handing him over to Fergus, while her mother tried to hold back tears. She was the one there when little Oren took his first steps and said his first words. And then she stood proud and happy beside her father and mother, her Mabari, Percival, at her heel, and Fergus and his wife Oriana stood entwined in the family quarters, little Oren dancing around pretending to slay Darkspawn._

 _Such happiness and grief filled her in equal measures at the memories. But all too fleetingly could she experience them again, her small joys, before they were ripped from her and the images became a tempest around her again. This time, filled with strife._

 _Her family home was in flames, bodies strewn across every hall and corridor. Then she watched her father die as her mother crouched over him, being left behind as Elaine ran for her life. The battle of Ostagar assaulted her mind, how she and Alistair fought their way tooth and nail against the Darkspawn in all their monstrous glory, seemingly overwhelming in their ferocity and nightmarish ways when she had been so new to her destiny. Memories began to fly by much faster now. Redcliff was assaulted by skeletons, cut down by Sten's massive blows as the giant dwarfed all those around him. The Circle Tower run amuck with demons and abominations, as Wynne cast spell after spell to help the party. The Temple of Sacred Ashes glittered in all its icy beauty, the Urn a beacon of warmth and light. The claustrophobia of the Deep Roads closed in all around, the foul stench of the Blight infecting every wall as Oghren cut down monsters and golems and Darkspawn alike. Werewolves prowled the trees in the forest, fangs dripping and eyes pleading. The Darkspawn covered all of Denerim, the cries of the thousands of civilians rising in a cacophony to the beating wings of the Archdemon above–_

With an almost violent stop, the rush of memories ceased. Elaine opened her eyes, breathing quickened, sweat beading on her brow. It took her a moment to remember where she was and regain control of herself. The urge to reach for her sword, to fight free of the panic, was strong. Samara was staring at her, moon-like eyes unblinking and contemplative. Elaine wondered if that had been her doing, if she had seen all that. Some part of her hoped she had seen nothing. Some things felt private.

Shepard stepped up, looking between the two women expectantly. "So? What did you see?"

Elaine herself was wondering that same question. Her gaze found Samara's and anxiously awaited her verdict.

"I do not think your mind will be put at ease, Shepard…" the Justicar murmured warily. "Everything she claims… felt real."

* * *

Shepard wanted to go over every detail with Samara. But Elaine had had enough. Still shaken from the onslaught of so many bittersweet and troublesome memories, she'd excused herself from the pair of them rather quickly. Remembering the hope to interact with the rest of the crew, she made straight towards the mess. As she rounded the corner, she was brought to a stop by a familiar sight. Companions all lounging around a central point, talking, laughing and banter flowing as easily as the blessed drink amongst them. Perhaps her mind was still a little addled, for instead of seeing the new and alien faces, she saw those of her dearest friends in their place all huddled around the campfire. With a swift shake of her head, she banished it before it could turn her mood to melancholy.

Kelly was stood with Sargent Gardner at the bar, Gabby standing close but still equally close to Ken. The Scotsman sat at the end of the table, with Joker, Jacob and Thane alongside him. The Drell had a steaming cup cradled between his palms, a small smile twitching at the edges of his lips as he listened to the others talk. Jacob and Joker were drinking – Jacob more so than Joker. On the opposite side of the table sat Tali, Kasumi and Garrus. Off to the side was Grunt, a large bowl of orange mush held tightly in one arm as he scooped it into his mouth with the other. Upon noticing the entrance of the human noble, Tali waved her over.

With a smile plastered in place to disguise any woes, the Warden quickly seated herself. Garrus and Kasumi budged over so that she could sit beside Tali. The Quarian's bright eyes narrowed suspiciously on the human's face. "Elaine, you look a little… what's the human saying? Rough around the edges!"

"I feel like it. What are we drinking?" she quickly looked about, not wanting to get into this now. Kasumi slid her something with all the colours of a sunset. She gulped greedily, it wasn't alcoholic, but the ice-cold taste still helped to sooth her. She gestured to Garrus and Thane, who had struck up a conversation across the table. "Thanks. What're they talking about?"

Kasumi rolled her eyes. "Weapons."

"I'm telling you," said Garrus, "the Viper's always been better. It's powerful on armour, semi-automatic fire, and pinpoint accurate once you get it tuned up right."

"Garrus," growled Tali growled, but there was humour in her eyes, "if you mention the word 'calibrate', I'll use your fringe for a window scraper."

"I must disagree, Vakarian." Thane argued in his usual deep velvet voice. "The Viper is far less powerful shot for shot when compared to the Mantis, which can kill most enemies."

"Yeah, but you only get one shot with the Mantis before you're forced to reload. What happens when you've got multiple targets?"

Jacob snorted. "Pch, you guys're going on and on about the big guns. Pistol's all I've ever needed."

Lips pressed together, Joker struggled to hold back a grin. "I'm really holding back a 'size doesn't count' joke…"

"Gets the job done, and looks flashier." Jacob grinned.

Now it was Elaine's turn to snort. The cockiness in his statement begged to be defied. "Oh really?"

Leant forward with one elbow on the table, the officer gave her a grin. "Had to rescue an Asari consort once. Her ship got hijacked out near an Alliance patrol. We were sent in. Almost got swarmed the second we entered. I got out of that fight with only half my body suit and my pistol left. Found the consort in her quarters."

"Then what?" Ken asked.

Jacob's grin grew. "Whole mission was a heavy risk… but the prize…"

"Hmmmm," purred Kasumi. "Jacob, please stop or you'll have me in fix."

Tali sent the hooded thief a look. "I thought you were devoted to… what was his name? Keiji?"

"Of course, but I'm not dead! A woman can appreciate the fine arm-candy around her."

Garrus leaned back, arms draped across the backs of the chairs on either side of him. "Some of us, a little better than others."

"In your dreams, Vakarian." Laughed Ken.

"Yeah," Joker chortled, "if anybody, it's gonna be Krios who's had probably all the ladies fawning over him."

Thane's eyes ducked down. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Oh sure." Ken's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Leathers, wee bit of skin flashing in just the right places, the distant dangerous type with the sensitive soul. Canna think how _any_ woman would want _that_."

"I'll say…" murmured Gabby.

"I'm afraid you have a misconstrued perception of me." Thane said gently. "When I was young, I was dedicated to my work. My body had entered a form of battle-sleep. But then my wife... she awoke me. After that, I was completely dedicated to Irikah. There was no room for anyone else when she had hold of my soul so completely."

A collective _awwwww_ sounded from almost every woman in the room. Even Elaine found herself falling victim to its effects. Warmth filled her gut at the notion of such adoration. Perhaps if she were more of the fanciful type, like several Orlesian noble-ladies, she might've swooned. The men of the table all looked at each other, flabbergasted.

Jacob looked Thane up and down, one brow cocked sharply. "Damn, Krios. You don't even have to try."

Even grunt seemed a little put out. "The Drell doesn't even have any scars…"

"You know what!" Kelly suddenly squealed. She bounced over to stand behind Elaine to grasp hold of her shoulders tightly in her excitement. "Elaine! I think you and Thane would make a _really_ good couple! The damned killer seeking his redemption in the temptations of the lovely virginal princess."

Gabby winced. "Geez, lay off the erotica a little, Kelly."

"I agree." A strained smile escaped the blonde as she gently but firmly pulled the other woman's hands away from herself. "And besides, I make no claim to royalty."

"Come on, Elaine," Joker said, "Even Zaeed is referring to you as 'little-miss-princess'."

"Though I do not believe he means it as a compliment…" murmured Thane.

"The whole sword-and-shield, thing? Medieval and dramatic and all that. And I'm guessing you'd look good stuck in your tower."

Elaine smiled and rolled her eyes. "The castle was a little stifling, I'll give it that…"

"You're shitting me! You actually grew up in a castle?!" the pilot spluttered. He looked to others for verification, to which only Garrus could incline his head. "Oh wow, bet you never got out much. Hang on a minute, if that's the case, have you… never…?"

"Joker!" Kasumi laughed. "Mind out of the gutter!"

"Just a simple question. We've all thought it."

Elaine's lips twitched. "Well, Joker, I'm not quite sure what you mean. Have I… never what? You're going to need to be more specific."

"Oh, come on, you know what I mean!"

Was this day all about memories? "Well, um, there was one. Ser Gilmore. He was a knight serving my family. We practically grew up together back when he was just a squire. My father said he used to follow me around like a lost puppy. And then one Feastday, we thought ourselves to finally put away childish games, to steal wine from the cellars and place on the sin that comes with adulthood."

Jacob chuckled. "That's rather poetic for saying you were drunk teenagers on your first time."

"Pretty much. But it sounds nicer than saying: 'I could taste foul wine on his breath while he fumbled _very_ clumsily." They all laughed at that. Elaine's eyes then slid back to Joker. Her smile spread into a full wicked grin as she suddenly realised that Oghren and Alistair might be of help to her now. "And what about you, Joker?"

"Errr… what?" the pilot looked slightly uneasy from the tone of her voice.

"Come on, _you know what I mean_. You've never rolled the oats? Tapped the midnight still? Forged the moaning statue? Bucked the forbidden horse? Have you never _licked_ a _lamppost_ in winter?"

 _PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTT!_ Went Joker's drink across the table as he spat it out. The entire room erupted into howls of laughter. Elaine felt someone thump her back, and she even help onto Tali as they all surrendered into fits of giggles. From around the corner came Shepard and Samara. Dare she think it, but at the sight of his crew joking so well, Shepard's face actually morphed into a warm smile. He and the Justicar remained back, to observe fondly and not interfere. Of course, everyone knew he'd arrived, but it didn't stop their merriment. A few greeted their commander with familiarity.

Even as the laughter died, Grunt only looked between the many alien faces. "… Shepard, I don't get it."

Shepard gave him a lopsided smile. "Probably best if you don't, Grunt."

"Knowing the Krogan," Joker said between fits of giggles. "Their version of foreplay would involve pummelling each other."

At that, Grunt _did_ chuckle. "Hehehe. True."

"Actually, I think that's more in line with the turians. Their sex is often considered rather _rough_ amongst other species." Said Kelly. Everyone turned and gave her a look. The ginger's cheeks turned a colour to match her hair. "What? I read it somewhere."

"Uh-huh. Sure." Muttered Tali.

Jacob shrugged. "Not sure I blame 'em. Gotta be tough when all your species has to serve mandatory time in the forces. Unable to do anything."

"Actually, you'd be surprised." Said Garrus. "Turian ships have more operational discipline then your Alliance, but fewer personal restrictions."

"Like what?" asked Ken.

"Gambling, fornicating, whatever. So long as you're fit to do your job, the Hierarchy don't care what you do on your own time. Our commanders run us tight, but they know we need to blow off steam now and then."

"I smell me a juicy story there!"

"Uh, well, I do remember right before one mission," Garrus scratched the back of his neck, his mandibles fluttering in what Elaine interpreted to be coyness. "We were about to hit a Batarian pirate squad. Very risky. This recon-scout and I had been at each other's throats. Nerves mostly. She suggested we settle it in the ring."

"I assume you took her down gently?" Shepard asked.

"Actually, she and I were the top-ranked hand-to-hand specialists on the ship. I had reach, but she had flexibility." Now he was beginning to get into the story, inflections in his voice giving it weight. And Elaine watched how quickly he managed to hook his audience on his every word. "It was brutal. After nine rounds the judge finally called it a draw. There were some unhappy betters in the training room."

"I'll say!" exclaimed Ken. "Nine rounds and no pay off?"

"Shhh, Kenneth!" Gabby scolded him with a slap upside the head. She turned eagerly to Garrus. "Then what happened?"

Once more that bashfulness returned, Elaine had never seen it before and thought it rather adorable. "We… uh, ended up having a _tie-breaker_ in her quarters. I had reach, but she had flexibility… More than one way to work off stress, I guess."

From all around the room came a collective _ooooooooooooooh!_ Jacob and Ken thumped their fists on the table with a cheer. "You dog!" Joker cracked.

Even Grunt seemed impressed. "Not bad… for a Turian. Though how a female could put in a mating request for one is beyond me."

"I would think you'd be more of a gentleman, Garrus!" giggled Tali.

Elaine shrugged. "I'm just surprised he could boldly state he was so good at hand to hand."

A few snickered at the double connotation. Garrus just eyed her, his mandibles spreading in a small grin. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't think I've ever seen you in a fist-fight. You always like to keep the battle so far off." Her eyes met his unflinchingly. "I'm wondering if you even have it in you,"

Several voices whistled low. Garrus and she paid them no mind. Swivelling in his seat, the Turian turned to give her his full gaze. "That a challenge, tough-girl?"

"I bet 50 credits Elaine takes him!" Ken exclaimed loudly.

Tali looked aghast. "You want them to fight?"

"Why not, we have the equipment downstairs." Shepard shrugged, which surprised most. "I'll match that, Ken."

"Who starts a bet at 50 credits?!" Grunt shouted irritably. "200, or go home."

Joker nodded and fiddled with his omnitool. Around the room, others followed suit. "I think Garrus can win this."

"What do you say, Elaine?" Garrus asked. "Ready to prove something?"

Her own grin turned feral. "In the words of my good friend, Oghren: spank my ass and call me Sally, I'm in!"

* * *

The pair were practically rushed down to cargo-hold and the mats were pulled out in order to form a makeshift arena. Most of the spectators remained at the back of the room near the elevator to stay out of the way. Though those who hadn't even been in the mess when this was decided seemed to catch word of what was going on. Miranda, Jack, Zaeed and others watched on from the three windows on the engineering deck above. Elaine paid them all no mind, focusing her mind and pulling her body in order to get the muscles warm.

She and Garrus had both decided there would be no armour, weapons or abilities used in this fight. It was just a test of strength and skill with nothing but their fists. A hum was building in the human's bones. She was rather excited about this. Changed into what this modern world called 'shorts+tank-top', she felt almost naked. Garrus was almost as exposed as she, and despite herself, the Warden found herself staring in curiosity at the many intricate overlapping silver plates and patches of deep brown hide. It seemed his armour gave him extra bulk, for Garrus was slim and lean, all legs and arms and a shockingly thin waist. Yet even then, Elaine could see the defined muscle beneath his skin, and his wide three-fingered hands spoke of strength.

Perhaps it was the first time she'd been truly confronted with the truth of the fact of his alien-ness. He was all sharp edges and talons. Bird like even in his posture. In all truth, it began to unnerve the Warden, her mind slipping into a battle-ready state as she attempted to ready herself for deadly battle. It was only when he finally turned to her, visor off, and beheld her with those piercing sky-blue eyes, that she remembered that this was _Garrus_ , her friend, a person.

They stepped up to each other in the centre of the matts. Garrus gave her a shrug. "Ready when you are."

Elaine's only response was to throw a punch. Always strike unexpectedly. The blow connected with what would be a human's ribs. The Warden hid a wince when her fingers slammed into hard plate instead. Garrus grunted, but still batted her arm aside to trade for a blow of his own. His strength truly was daunting as he made her stumble. Alright, bad idea to hit the plates. Go for the unprotected hide, she thought.

Now with distance between them, Elaine used it to skip to the side of Garrus before ducking in low underneath a wide arc of his slashing arm. She kicked out at the back of his leg, her heel connecting with the softer flesh. Said leg's muscle spasmed from the assault to the nerves, and just like a human leg, it lost the balance. Elaine thought to capitalised on Garrus being unstable, and tackled him around the middle. Centre of gravity completely thrown, Garrus cushioned their fall as they hit the ground, but his arms instantly came around Elaine to hold her in. Her elbow drove into his armpit, making him recoil long enough for her to wriggle free and straddle him. She attempted to rein punches and slashes to his head and shoulders, but he blocked them with ease. And then his long arms were arching up to grab hold of her top. Elaine leant back to try and escape, but she got a full understanding of how effective his reach truly was. No matter how far she tried to evade, his arm followed her and caught her.

With a massive wrench, he threw her off and to the ground. Forearm pressed onto her collarbone, the Turian kept her pinned as he tried to crouch over her and restrain her fully. Desperate to break free before that happened, Elaine defied his expectations when she _pushed into_ his arm, cutting off her own air-supply as she forced her windpipe against his arm body. Arms surging forward, she grasped hold of the front of his carapace. Her legs came up and wrapped around his waist, her thighs and knees squeezing the rather soft flesh she found there. Garrus's face seemed to go slack as if in shock, mouth falling open and a strangled sound escaping his throat. The Warden didn't know what this meant, and she didn't care to ask. With his concentration broken, Elaine engaged her core and lifted Garrus off of her and threw him away.

Before he could recover and reach for her again, she hurriedly rolled away and stood. He followed suit, and the pair began to circle, like two rival wolves. Elaine took a moment to get her breath back and formulate a plan. Alright, it was certainly not a good idea to get within range of Garrus's arms. And certainly not a good idea to wrestle him on the ground. She had to use a tactical mind here. When Garrus feinted in an attempt to draw her out, Elaine skipped aside, light and footing sure. Though her training had primarily focused in the talents of a warrior, which made her rely on strength and endurance, her mother had once thought to instead instruct her in the ways of the rogue. Though it had been a failure back in her early teenage years, Elaine had asked Leliana to help re-educate her on the subject. Whilst she was no master rogue, some lessons of being nimble, flexible, and light stuck with her. It made for a rather interesting dynamic to her enemies when fighting. They expected an immoveable brute but got a flowing dancer instead.

Suddenly, Garrus dropped low and attempted to kick her legs out from under her. Elaine jumped to avoid it, but not before he caught her in close with ramming his shoulder into her chest. Breathing cut short, Elaine stumbled. Then, the turian was upon her, and the song of battle thundered through her veins as she acted on instinct. Her body leant back and then propelled itself forward into her fist, which struck him full force across the face. Garrus stumbled, and immediately Elaine followed up, using her primary strength to deal as much damage as possible. But even when recovering from her ringer-blow, he kept pace with her. She punched with her left to keep him surprised, but he easily swept it aside with one arm and slashed with the other. Leaning back, she grabbed hold of his wrist and pulled him into her knee. His own leg shot up to intercept and try to unbalance her. She fumbled in her footing but recovered by latching onto him and pulling him close. With nothing else available, she used the only thing she had left. Her teeth sank into his neck.

Thunder erupted all around her. The vibration was so strong it resonated in her breastbone. She realised the sound was a growl coming from deep within Garrus's gut. Something deep behind his eyes hinted at a feral instinct almost unleashed. With a snarl he threw her off. Tripping over her own feet, she half-fell. When Garrus stormed after her, she turned it into a full roll backwards, feet connecting with the Turian's stomach and hoisting him up and over her. The pair of them scrambled back to their feet and charged at one another. Elaine got a punch to Garrus's gut which made him almost double-over, winded. But then his arm lashed out, and Elaine hissed when she felt his talons slice through her shoulder. Warm blood trickled down over her breast, but she paid it no heed. Whilst Garrus's arm was still in front of her, she grabbed hold of it and swung her body behind it. Her other arm smacked up to press the heel of her palm into the side of his jaw, forcing his head to lean to one side and stretching his neck. Blindly, he kicked out at her, catching her behind the knee. Elaine lost her balance but caught herself on his leg, using it as the only thing to keep her upright. Still with a hold on Garrus, she was bending his arm backwards, almost to the point of pain if the tenseness in his body was anything to go by.

A stalemate. If she let herself fall, she could injure him just enough to win. But if she fell with him she would be pinned beneath his arm across her throat and legs entwined with hers. And from this angle the blow to her head might be enough to be a true ringer.

Her breathing was ragged from the exertion as she glanced at him. "You yield?"

Though he'd been growling at her a moment before, whatever had come over him seemed to have passed, for he huffed a small laugh. "Only if you do."

She honestly thought about it. Maybe she could win if she was willing to play a little dirty. Could she hold out against him that long? He had certainly proven himself as far as she was concerned. Was she that competitive?

In the end, she saw how his laboured breathing matched her own, felt the delayed pain from the graze on her shoulder, and felt his straining arm begin to quiver under her fingers. It was a draw. With a nod, the pair carefully began to extract themselves from one another. They ignored the cries of their onlookers and unhappy betters, and when they eventually stood before one another again, the two combatants shook hands to congratulate a good fight well fought.

Garrus's eyes flickered to her shoulder, and his face-plates winced slightly. "Err, sorry… about that…"

She gestured to the unscarred side of his face which she'd punched extremely hard. "As I'm sorry for that."

"I guess I need some new scars to match the other side. Gotta keep the ladies going wild." She laughed, and he beamed. "Though, seriously, next time I'll wear gloves."

Her eyes found his and she perked up. "Next time?"

"Sure, why not? I thought it was a good fight. Could be a good way to blow of some steam in the future…" he then seemed to consider something and quickly amended himself. "I didn't mean in _that_ way! And of course, that is – I mean, if you even wanted to–"

"Garrus," Elaine murmured gently and placed a hand on his shoulder to silence him. "I'd like that. It'd be nice to have a little friendly competition. Maybe we could make this a regular thing?"

He smiled. "I'd like that."

* * *

 **A/N: BIG chapter for you guys! And I had less time to do it in this week! D8 I'm visiting my family for a few days, so it's nice I was still able to remain on time for you lot! ^_^**

 **I'd like to give a big shout out to a couple of reviewers who seemed to predict certain elements that took place in this chapter - well done guys! I hope this clears up anything, if not, just post it in your reviews and I'll PM you.**

 **Please remember to leave a review! It really helps out the story and helps to keep me motivated with what you, the readers, want and how I can improve. Until next Monday, my dears!**


	14. The Orphan

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I took a couple of artistic liberties with the mission N7: Quarian Crash Site. And with the revenge on Arl Howe. That bastard deserved more! lol ;)**

* * *

The Normandy drifted along sparkling silver seas, on endless expanses of rich velvet-darkness. Her course was smooth, not a ripple left in her wake from the soft hum of machinery which propelled her onwards where there was no wind to carry her. The unequalled beauty of the rainbow nebulas passed by, like the iridescent bodies of godly beings leaping and diving through the same great waters as the passing ship. The Normandy was on her way to the Hades Nexus, her course fast but not urgent.

Within the belly of the ship, in the mess hall, sat Elaine Cousland and her friend Kasumi Goto. The pair indulged in a small spot of breakfast whilst Kasumi showed Elaine the wonders of modern entertainment – the downloadable omni-magazines. Whilst the Warden didn't seem to fully grasp its purpose of the concepts brought forth within it, she still appreciated her friend trying to include her. She was beginning to understand that almost nothing got between Kasumi and her desire for the utmost gorgeous trends in fashion – even though Elaine was certain she didn't wear them, what with being covered by a hood most of the time. Kasumi was part way through deciding if she could rope Elaine – and maybe some others – into another shopping trip when they finally reached a place she called 'The Citadel'. Elaine didn't know what this place was or why it had such a neutral name, but the way with which Kasumi and a few others spoke of it made it seem somewhat important. Didn't Tali and Garrus mention a battle had taken place there once?

At that moment, the Battery doors opened wide, and Garrus strutted down the hallway. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched him as he pottered about in the kitchen to get himself something to eat. Her focus paid particular attention to his left arm. She didn't want to think she had caused him some injury from their fight yesterday. That would have eaten her alive.

Surprisingly, the Turian didn't retreat to his workstation once he had his prize of food in hand. Instead, he came and sat opposite her at the table. "Morning ladies," he greeted, but Elaine noticed his sky-blue gaze flicker to her shoulder, a bandage poking out beneath her shirt. "Um, how's the arm doing?"

Evidently the fight was playing on his mind as well. Although, there was really nothing for him to fret over, she told herself. With Chakwas's care, as well as her own quickened healing thanks to her Warden abilities, the wound was practically gone now. Elaine rolled her eyes in an overly dramatic fashion to cover up her own previous worry. "Fine, thank you, mother-dearest. You can stop worrying now."

Perhaps her eyes were deceiving her, but he actually looked a little sheepish.

They continued on with their breakfast, Kasumi animatedly going into more detail about her magazine, to which Garrus feigned interest for as long as he needed to come up with snappy retorts. Eventually, he and Elaine managed to get off the conversation of fashion – or whatever else was in the dreaded magazine – and decided to talk about other things. Elaine was again interested in the strange appearance of the Turian's breakfast. It looked like a freakish purple oatmeal, but he quickly expressed that it was far from that. Turian teeth were not really designed for mashing any kind of vegetation, seeing as they had no molars, until some other species. Their ancestors were carnivores, pack animals, and it was only the very rare substances that acted like vegetables did for humans to offer those kinds of nutrients. Elaine found it extremely fascinating, and was like a child when she asked if he'd show her his teeth. Garrus had been a little embarrassed to open his mouth wide for her inspection. From the way Kasumi tried so hard to hide how it freaked her out, Elaine assumed that she was supposed to be unsettled by the neat rows of sharp needle-shaped teeth. But instead, she found it interesting, nothing frightening at all.

The interruption to their breakfast only came when Tali strolled into the mess hall, a slight lightness to her steps, and her head tilted ever so slightly as if she were contemplating something. She managed to gather her own breakfast, though a little distractedly. And when she came to the table, she sat next to Garrus.

"Hey Tali," they all greeted her. Kasumi leaned forward, her fingers playing across her cheek coyly. "You look happy. Get a call from that Reegar guy?"

"What? Oh, no it's not him." Tali waved away dismissively. Then she seemed to realise what was said, and her head snapped up in alarm. "Why? Did he contact Shepard or something?"

Kasumi was practically grinning from ear to ear at the girl's reaction. "Oooooooh, someone's got _it_ bad."

Even Elaine was interested and leaned across the table with a mischievous smile for her friend. "Tali, I don't think you've told me about a _boy,"_

"There is no boy." The Quarian snapped defensively.

Kasumi nudged Elaine's arm. "That's right, Elaine. Kal'Reegar is all _man_."

Tali glared at the thief. "Shut up, Kasumi."

"Oh, yeah." Garrus decided to wade in on the conversation with a chortle. "I can totally see the appeal. All that red armour – would match _very_ nicely with your purple."

"Garrus. I have a shotgun."

"Maybe we'll talk about this some other time, then."

"So hang on a minute," Elaine interrupted. "You said its 'not him'. Does that mean you did receive a message from someone?"

"Just from my father," Tali shrugged. "He wants me to send him more materials back to the fleet for his latest project."

"I don't think you've ever talked about your father and mother,"

"Mother was quiet. She blended into the background when compared to my father. She died seven years ago – a virus swept through the fleet. Happens sometimes, you know?" Though she shrugged as if this was something she'd dealt with a long time ago, Elaine could tell by the way her voice went quiet that it was still a painful scar on her heart. "Father? He's… Well, he's a senior member of the Admiralty Board. They are the collective admirals of the Flotilla, who help to govern our people alongside the conclave. He's responsible for the lives of 17 million Quarians."

"Wow… no pressure on you,"

"Exactly. My people put great importance on community. We all work together as one big, extended family. That puts some expectation on me because of who my father is. And it also means my father expects more of me as well. A military man through and through."

Kasumi snorted. "Did you have to drop down and give him twenty pushups if you misbehaved?"

"We're not Turians." Tali laughed.

Garrus feigned outrage. "Hey! I resent that!"

"What was your father like then, Garrus?" Elaine asked.

"Um… wasn't that different from Tali, really." He murmured, surprisingly seemeing to deflate, his good mood sapped away like water through a Siv. "My father was C-SEC, one of the best. I grew up hearing about his accomplishments or seeing his picture on the vids after a big arrest. Mom raised us on Palaven, on the family estate. With dad working on the Citadel, he wasn't home much. And when he was, he pushed me hard to achieve the high expectations he set me. He did the same with my sister, I guess. But he expected his only son to follow in his footsteps. 'Do things right, or don't do them at all', he says."

"You disagree?"

Tali threw a thumb in her neighbour's direction. "Garrus is quite the hothead."

"No, I just think the results shouldn't be held back because of the means," he snapped. Realising that was unnecessary, he sighed and visibly tried to reign himself in. "When he finally got me into being a C-SEC officer like him, he always disapproved. I would work my ass off to try and bust a drug-ring or some slimeball bringing in illegal weapons on the Wards, and my father would dismiss my findings because they were not done by the book. He despises organisations like the Spectres. Hates the idea of someone having unlimited power with no accountability." He glanced at Elaine. "He wouldn't like you or the Grey Wardens, I don't think. No offence."

"None taken."

"My father and I don't really get on. Solana – my sister – always says the house sits on top of a volcano whenever we're in the same room together. I mean, the last time we talked face-to-face was when I left the Citadel to join Shepard… he wasn't very pleased about that."

Silence fell over the table. Elaine wanted to reach across and comfort her friend, but didn't know if he would appreciate it, or if that would be entirely appropriate. To be so distant from one supposedly as close to you as your father… Elaine couldn't comprehend that. It sounded so isolating to her. And the same went for Tali; her father sounded more like a commander, a business superior more than family, from the way she spoke of him.

Kasumi leaned back and scratched at her collar uncomfortably. "Geez, now I feel lacking – I don't have a parent-sob-story to share!"

"You have a family?" Tali asked, surprised.

"Mom was an antique dealer. Dad was an archaeologist." Kasumi shrugged, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "They took me everywhere with them when I was a kid, made me realise the _real_ value of things all across the galaxy. Came in handy later on in life."

"They know what you do for a living?"

"They don't ask questions. Just accept the Christmas checks I send home every year. As well as the quick phonecalls to tell me when new _expensive_ items are making their rounds on the market."

Garrus waved his hand. "Wait a minute, how do we know this is real?"

Kasumi grinned. "You don't."

They all chuckled at that. It brought that feeling of warmth back to the table. The comradery, the banter, the jokes, it helped to dash away all the horrible shadows the dogged them. Elaine appreciated it, and welcomed that brightness as it made its return to her friends.

"What about you Elaine?" Tali asked.

And instantly she felt the warmth vanish from her bones. "Huh?"

"Yeah," said Kasumi. "You've never talked about your family."

"I suppose because… I don't have one." Elaine murmured, staring at the table as if it were the most fascinating thing she'd ever seen. A trapped nerve made her legs shake, a deep twisting emotion making her stomach feel rotten as memories threatened to come to mind. "They, um… they died, even before I was found on Horizon."

"What were they like?"

Garrus seemed to see the way Elaine's fingers tightened on her cutlery, and gently tried to pull the Quarian back. "Tali–"

"What? It's just a harmless question."

"It's okay," Elaine held out her hand for Garrus to stop when it seemed he was going to argue the point. She didn't want this to became estranged, and to refuse to talk when the others had already selflessly told her everything about themselves would seem wrong. She remembered the experience Samara had summoned, of reliving everything: the joy and loss. She didn't want to do it again, but the words seemed to spill from the centre of her being in a way she couldn't stop. "My family… they were great. I was the youngest child; me and my brother, Fergus, we hated each other for the first six years of our lives, I swear. We used to fight constantly, over toys, cakes, the best seats at the table, even who got to go with father out into the village. Mother would always be the one to smash our heads together and tell us to pack it in… right before she sang us to sleep. Growing up as a Teyrn's daughter, I had it better than many. We were the highest of the nobility, second only to the Royal Family, or so my mother would constantly remind me."

"Lots of parties, I imagine?" Kasumi's smile was almost wistful.

"Not far from the truth. As a noble, one must always be called upon to the latest Landsmeet, or tourney or any such event. We have to in order to stay in the middle of the Great Game. Mother excelled at it. She was a great battle-maiden in her youth, but she most enjoyed the intrigues of court. I can't count all the times she had me dress up to push me towards choosing a suitable husband. Fergus was the eldest, so he was next in line to be the Teyrn after my father; but I was still expected to marry well, as my husband would receive plenty of power from my family because of the match." Despite herself, a smile began to form across her face. The pain and the guilt melting away as she began to let herself go into happier times. "It mortified her when I completely threw away the trappings and dresses for armour and swords. She always said 'It was the finer arts that landed me a husband'. She was terrified I would end up a spinster. And when my brother got married, she grew worse."

"Sounds pushy," Tali said.

"Oh no! Mother always meant well, and compared with other noble-mothers, she was always so gentle in her urgings. Though she wanted me to marry, she never wanted to force me into anything that would make me unhappy. She lived for her family. Fergus eloped with an Antivan noblewoman from a minor family. It was considered a scandal! Fergus was supposed to marry well, and it wasn't even twenty years after we had freed ourselves from the Orlesian Occupation. Though my parents were furious at first, they couldn't begrudge my brother for falling in love. They welcomed his wife, Oriana, into our family. And in time, she gave Fergus a son. My little nephew, Oren…" Her smile grew wider, warmer, a glow seeming to permeate her entire being. "My mother and I were there when the servants helped Oriana give birth. I was the first one to hold him… Oriana suffered a wilting sickness shortly after the birth. Fergus and the physicians feared she might die. Oren was so small, I had to look after him. Mother said it was the most gentle and maternal she'd ever seen me. I loved him so greatly, it was as if he were my own. I stayed in Oriana's room with her and the babe, and I cared for him over the weeks until his mother had recovered her full strength. Even after that, he was always in my shadow: escaping the governesses, wandering away from the teachers and even his own father, to find me. The only person that rivalled me for his devotion was my father. Nothing comes between a grandfather and his grandson."

"What was your father like?" Garrus asked with a gentle smile.

"The best man I ever knew. He was not a Teyrn simply by blood, he would've been given that title by right in any other circumstance. A hero from the war, a fair and just man who was beloved by the common people and the nobility. He was something else… larger than life, a force all his own… yet kind and gentle to all he loved. Father knew I despised the ways of conniving courtly she-snakes, and when I asked to learn the ways of the warrior, he taught me without hesitation. It was through him that I regarded the ways of justice and honour so highly. I could talk to him about everything. To him, I was as fierce as a mabari, a great knight, yet was still his pup, his little girl. Sometimes the contradiction frustrated me, but now… now I wish I were back in that time."

"…Elaine?" Tali said in almost a whisper when Elaine's voice trailed off into silence. Ice blue eyes glanced up, and could see the knowing-sorrow already in the Quarian's bright gaze. "What happened to your family?"

Suddenly, she was shivering, a cold having settled over her body. A pressure had appeared behind her eyes and nose, a spluttering cough rising in her throat. Her jaw trembled, her eyes burned and her vision swam. An explosion was about to detonate inside her. The air was too thick, she couldn't breathe. The walls were pressing in, she needed to move. Heartache of such magnitude can never really leave, it lingers in a chokehold that slowly kills you little by little. Elaine remembered her father's ghost, the words he'd said: ' _No more must you grieve, my girl. Take the pain and the guilt, acknowledge it, and let go. It is time…'_ But how could he say that to her? How could she let him, or any of them go when she still loved them so much?

She couldn't talk about this. She'd never spoken of it before, not even to her friends back home. None of these faceless bodies now surrounding her at the strange table were familiar to her, she did not recognise them. The panic was too much to bear, she felt exposed, naked, about to be struck down. Hurriedly, she tried to stand. "I… I can't…"

"Hey," said a voice. A hold surrounded her wrist, gentle yet firm, and held her in place. She spun, and found her gaze captured in eyes as blue as the sky. She could make out ever fleck and shadow, every detail and blending colours. It took such focus to take in everything in those eyes, that in that moment, it was the only thing she felt was real. And then that voice spoke again, deep and resonating. She recognised it, it brought her back to reality, and once more she was back, Garrus right in front of her, his face unbelievably kind. "It's okay."

"It… it was the Blight," she found her voice speaking out in a croak. "Darkspawn had arisen. The King had called on all the nobles to bring their armies south to help him fight them back. My brother and father were to leave off into war. I was chosen to stay behind and govern my father's lands in his stead. One of my father's oldest friends, _Arl Rendon Howe_ …" The name left her lips like a cobra spitting poison, "he had come to the castle to ride with my father as they once did in the days of old. He said his troops were delayed, so they couldn't leave straight away. My father sent my brother and our men ahead, so that he could stay behind, with Howe as our guest. We all thought everything was normal… we trusted him…

"Later that night, we awoke to screams as Howe's men invaded the castle. They slaughtered everyone they could find. Servants, squires, soldiers, knights. It didn't matter. I ran from my room to check on my mother. The soldiers had already broken into the family chambers. We fought our way free, but–" she couldn't go on as the memory flashed in front of her eyes. A soft pale neck, torn open, gorgeous brown eyes lifeless and cold. A sob burst from Elaine's lips as if she were choking on it. Tears were streaming down her face, burning her nose. "Little Oren! We found Oriana stabbed to death… and my little Oren… the bastards butchered him! He was only nine!"

Body too heavy to keep upright any longer, Elaine collapsed into her hands on the table. She wept, she didn't care who might see her. The dam had been broken, and the raging floodwaters crashed against her walls and they buckled under the pressure. Her shoulders were shaking. She couldn't seem to take a breath long enough to gain any air before it was quickly expelled back out on the next sob. The hand that still held her wrist was moving, the cool thumb tenderly rubbing circles on the back of her knuckles.

"Howe had tried to murder my father. But he got away, and we found him by a secret exit out of the castle, in the Kitchens. He was waiting for us… but he was so badly wounded! He said he wouldn't survive long enough for us to escape. A Grey Warden was in the castle, Warden-Commander Duncan. He bargained to take me and my mother to safety, if I joined the Grey Wardens."

"Your family were _dying_ , and he wanted to bargain?!" faintly, she heard Kasumi's voice rise with indignation.

"Believe me, I was furious myself. I tried to refuse, tried to have my mother and father come with me. But then… mother wouldn't. She stayed behind with father to hold the soldiers back whilst Duncan and I ran." Her flesh felt rotten, even as she sat there alive and breathing. Shame and self-loathing made her want to reach inside her own chest and make her own heart stop beating. She howled. "I abandoned them! I should've stayed! I should've stayed!"

"Hey, hey, hey…" Garrus murmured and she felt his other hand tentatively on her shoulder. "Come on, there's nothing you could've done."

And then the anger set in. The shake of her sobs turned to trembles of cold fury. She withdrew from the touch of all those around her, shrivelling into a husked shell. If anyone touched her, she feared she'd kill them as the rage made her guts boil to the point of pain. "But there was. I swore I wouldn't let Howe live, he was going to pay for their murder! I wanted to go after him. But it wasn't until a year later, after I'd seen and learned so much during the Blight… I finally found him."

And then she was right back in that horrid dungeon. She relived it as clearly as if it were happening once again. _The stone floors were slick with damp, making their boots threaten to slip every other step. Rank odours of rot and dankness made one's upper-lip curl at the assault. The screams, both fresh and those of memories, echoed around the entire party. Elaine led her group through the heavy oak door in a rush, Sten, Zevran and Oghren coming to a stop right behind her as she skidded to a halt. There. Right there. He stood brazenly before her, arms crossed, smirk firmly in place for all to see, just like the same sadistic look in his eye. Around him his men held their weapons at the ready, causing the Warden's party to freeze in place._

 _Howe grinned._ _'_ _Well, look here. Bryce Cousland's little spitfire! All grown-up, and still playing the man. I thought Loghain made it clear that your pathetic family is gone and forgotten.'_

 _Elaine couldn't stop the anger, the sorrow, the confusion from taking over her. 'Why betray us, Howe?! My father was your friend!'_

 _'_ _A clumsy appeal, child.' Howe sniffed. It stung, not as a slight to her, but more for the fact that he seemed to hold no remorse or guilt for the murder of her father, who had looked on Howe as a best friend, had risked his own life for the man. 'He was a traitor to me and a coward to his nation! Trips to Orlais, gifts from old enemies; all while I sank in obscurity. Your family squandered glory that was rightfully_ _ **mine.**_ _How suitable that their deaths should raise me to the ear of a King."_

 _Like a wolf, Elaine bared her fangs and spat her curse. 'Their_ _ **memory**_ _drove me to you.'_

 _'_ _Ha!' Howe seemed delighted. 'Your parents died on their knees, your brother's corpse rots at Ostagar, and his brat was burned on a scrap heap – along with his Antivan whore of a wife.'_

 _A whole had just carved its way through her chest. Her heart ceased to beat. She felt like she was about to vomit. To think of her little Oren… burned as if he were a piece of trash! She wanted to sink to her knees, howl like an insane abomination, the thought was too awful to bear. And Fergus, dead too? It couldn't be true! Everything she'd once been… gone, forever._

 _'_ _And what's left? A foolish husk of a daughter likely to end her days under a rock in the Deep Roads. Even the Wardens are gone. You're the last of_ _ **nothing!**_ _This is pointless. You've lost.'_

 _His words brought her back, reignited that fire of vengeance that made her want to rip him apart like a Mabari. No, he would not break her. She wouldn't fail her mother and father a second time. She glared Howe in the eye, and pulled out her sword. 'The game's not finished Howe, not until one of us lies dead!'_

 _'_ _There it is,' he murmured, as if stunned. 'Right there! That damned look in the eye that marked every Cousland success that held me back. But if you think that you can take all this from me… that I would_ _ **allow**_ _it… You are very much mistaken!'_

The memory's spell over her was broken and she realised she was still sat at the table, breathing ragged and the others staring at her. After a moment, she tried to regain control of herself. A cold mask settled itself firmly in place as she let loose a calming breath, and straightened her spine. Hands dashed across her cheeks, coming back soaked.

"He tried to have me killed." She croaked, and cleared her throat of the lump still there. Though she tried to seem indifferent, she couldn't stop the bitterness creeping in. "We fought. I won. It wasn't enough."

When Tali spoke, she sounded almost afraid, yet was still compelled to ask. "What did you do?"

 _Again, she was back in that cursed dungeon. Blood dripped from her armour and coated the blade of Starfang. Sten cleaved through the last of Howe's men. The traitorous Arl himself lay at Elaine's feet, trying to crawl away from her, one hand clutching his side where he fell open, half disembowelled. Yet even then, breath faltering and blood dribbling between his teeth, he had the nerve to turn around and hiss at her._ _'_ _Maker spit on you! I d-deserved… more!'_

 _'_ _More?' Elaine echoed emotionlessly. The word struck a nerve. That was the reason behind all this? Starfang clattered loudly across the ground when she tossed it aside. Before Howe could move away, she was on him, straddling his foul, blood-soaked body. One hand grabbed hold of the front of his armour and yanked him up so their noses were inches apart. Her other hand slowly shook off her shield. 'My Mother deserved more than a shallow grave!'_

 _Letting Howe fall, she grabbed hold of her shield in both hands._ _ **SLAM!**_ _The point drove down into Howe's skull. Bone crunched, and Howe screamed. His body convulsed but Elaine held him pinned. She raised the shield again._

 _'_ _My nephew deserved more than a butcher!'_

 ** _SLAM!_** _Grey pulp began to leak from the hole in what used to be a face. Gore splattered her face, but Elaine was beyond caring. His body was still twitching. It wasn't enough. A scream blasted out of her._

 _'_ _My father deserved_ _ **MORE**_ _!'_

 ** _SLAM! SLAM! SLAM!_**

Back in the present, Elaine looked round at the others, and quickly glanced away. "I beat his head in with my shield until it was a pulpy mess."

They were silent. Elaine let them make their judgements. She deserved it. Even with the grief and the anger re-awoken within her and finally let loose in all its fresh agony, it still didn't justify the small piece of her that had been taken away that horrible night. It was by far the most brutal thing she'd ever done in her life. Nothing could erase it from memory, nothing could make her move on. It was something that haunted her whenever she tried to think back on that dark time in her life. Even here, in this new world, new time, Howe and his awful actions still hounded her.

And then Garrus was the first to speak with conviction. "You did nothing wrong. That scum deserved everything he got."

She expected that. But it changed nothing. "I know."

"Well," Kasumi mumbled. She then suddenly raised her coffee mug into the air, a sad smile on her lips as she squeezed Elaine's shoulder. "A toast then. To shitty childhoods,"

Tali joined in. "And to being with new family now."

"Family?" Elaine echoed dumbly, blinking up at the others.

Garrus shrugged and raised his mug too. "We're all with Shepard. That has to count for something."

Tearily, the Warden felt the smallest smile tug at the corners of her mouth, and shakily held out her own cup of tea. Gently, the four of them clinked mugs as one. And then, suddenly, Garrus and Tali got up from their side of the table and walked round. Elaine was most confused and flustered when they began to surround her. And then Kasumi had stuck herself to Elaine's side, arms wrapped around her waist in a tight squeeze. Tali was next on her opposite side, linking her fingers around Elaine's neck as she knelt on the floor. Garrus was last, bending over with a slight chuckle at the absurdity of this, and wrapped the whole group up in his wide-reaching arms; his forehead resting on Elaine's crown. The Warden herself sat, unable to move for a moment, just taking in this surprising turn of events. And then, with what little movement she could, she reached up tried to hug her friends back in return, leaning into their touch with a teary smile.

* * *

"Go through it with me again, Samara,"

"Shepard, my answer will be no different than the others I have given you over the past days."

"But there has to be something! I just… I can't wrap my head around this."

"Perhaps we are not meant to."

"And you're sure you saw no hint of any delusions or something that would cause this?"

"No. Elaine's memories were… _extremely_ lifelike. I felt her pain when she swallowed a foul poison that changed her entire being. I saw monsters and men fighting in a way that your own species would declare to be mythological. I saw people twiddling fire, ice and lightning across their fingers as easily as I would my biotics. If these memories are indeed manufactured, then they are of the best make I've encountered."

"So… w-what do I do now?"

"You ask my opinion? I did warn you that this would not be as easy as you wished. But Elaine is still a capable warrior, and though her abilities and claims may still be a mystery to us, that does not change the fact that she is a good ally. We shall wait to see if further proof of her past comes to light. If not, then it is just that: the past."

" _Uh, Commander? EDI's picked up something I think you should come and have a look at…"_

* * *

"EDI's picked up a signal in this cluster." Shepard said in front of his assembled squad as the shuttle carried them off. Elaine sat at the back, making sure her gauntlets were firmly in place, even though she had no idea if she was actually doing any good. She was still a little shaken from her ordeal at breakfast earlier this morning. It was difficult to focus on Shepard's words. "Apparently a Quarian ship's gone down due to engine failure. Survivors are requesting immediate emergency evacuation."

"I don't think it's engine failure, Shepard." Tali spoke up a little defensively. "Quarians keep all of their ships in top working condition. We rely on them too much to let things like this endanger the fleet."

Shepard levelled the Quarian a look. "So you're saying there's absolutely 0% chance that this was an accident? A fluke no one, not even the Quarians, could've foreseen and stopped?"

She faltered. "Well… I, err, I guess–"

"That's what I thought." He nodded and turned back to Elaine and Garrus. Elaine was rather surprised and glad that Shepard had announced that in this one instance he'd thought on her earlier advice to go with a squad of three instead of two for this mission. "Okay. Shuttle's gonna be landing as close to the crash-site as we can get. When we get there, we search for survivors. The Quarians put this on the emergency level. So expect some form of hostiles. If they appear: Tali, Elaine, you two are to cover and protect the survivors, offer support and make sure they make it out of this. Garrus and I will focus on hostiles."

Not long after that, the shuttle landed with a judder and they all clambered out. An evening sun shone in their eyes through thick green foliage that reminded Elaine of what she imagined Seheron or Par Vollen would be like whenever Sten spoke of it. They'd been dropped off in the middle of a makeshift camp. Torn metal and crates were makeshift walls and tables, one of those 'computer' things placed on top and glowing faintly, jagged sounds coming from it. If this was the summoning spell that brought them here, Elaine didn't know, nor did she care to. Shepard and the others rifled through the belongings and items littered around the place. Apparently they kept finding letters and diaries detailing how the survivors made it after their shipwreck, and were hunted by unseen foes. Yet no matter where they looked, they found no trace of the ship's survivors. Tali was beginning to get a little agitated, her worry for her people, evident.

The group made their way down an incline, rocky walls narrowing the passage. A small clearing opened up ahead, with several openings forking off out of sight. Elaine's grip on her sword tightened a little. It reminded her too much of the deep roads, where a single chamber could have several passages. That meant it was too open, too many opportunities for an attack. She had to take a moment to let her mind slide away from the temptation of more memories. That was enough for one day. Moving forward, she pushed her attention on the search. And then, behind some boulders, she saw a piece of gravel move. Sword-grip tightening, she came around, and saw a two-toed foot. Another two steps, and she was able to see two Quarians, one male, one female, clinging together and huddled on the floor. Their breathing was laboured, their limbs slightly shaking.

"I got them!" Elaine shouted.

Everyone converged on the Quarians quickly. Tali immediately began to pull up her Omni-tool as she knelt beside her people. They were delirious and possibly out of their minds. They kept babbling and shivering, though they complained that it was hot. On seeing the other aliens, the Quarian's were almost panicking. Tali did her best to calm them, speaking in soothing tones, phrases that sounded almost poetic. It eventually made them settle, though not by much. Garrus and Shepard kept their gazes on their surroundings, with Elaine caught between them and Tali, unsure of what to do.

"They're suits are ruptured," said Tali, "slight fever, but it doesn't look too bad just yet. If we get them to Chakwas quick, they'll make it."

"Th-th-they're here!" whispered the female as her hand lashed out to try and grab hold of Tali. "Go! G-get out!"

Elaine knelt beside Tali, placing down her sword and reaching out a hand. "Be still now, we're not here to harm you…"

"N-n-no!" the female shook her head and her movements became more erratic. "You don't understand!"

"Shepard!" called Tali. "We need to get them out of here, now!"

' _Negative."_ Came Joker's voice over the comm. _"_ _The shuttle is being intercepted.'_

Shepard snapped two fingers to his ear and shouted. "Intercepted?! By who?"

A roar ehoed through the valley. The group turned as one, as three of those scaly hounds they called 'Varren' came charging in towards them. Garrus and Shepard quickly pulled up their guns and began to shoot. Elaine jumped to her feet with sword back in hand and stood with her stance wide to keep the Quarians and Tali in her shadow. The Varren seemed to not be phased by what bullets hit them at first. In fact, it only seemed to make them angrier as their growls grew louder.

"Varren! Don't let them close to the Quarians!"

More of the beasts were appearing from around the many different passages. Garrus fired off an explosion that sent two beasts flying. Another one fell to the hail of Shepard's gun. One managed to slip past them and come straight for Elaine and her charges. The Warden's mind decided to deal with the situation the same as she would a hostile Mabari. Granted, she wanted her _own_ Mabari's help in this situation; but that was a thought for another time. She kicked out at the dog's head when it tried to lunge, and it fell back. Before it could get up, Elaine sliced her sword into its belly and opened it up from chest to groin. As the beast died, she heard a slight hiss. Swivelling, she was confronted with a hideous looking alien, with a pointed head and teeth that looked far too big for its mouth. Bulging red eyes glared at her, and sickly yellow skin made her cringe to think of touching it. Before it could get its gun levelled at her, Elaine swung her shield across its throat, the point and force rupturing any breathing apparatus inside. As the creature fell, a group of Krogan began to charge into view!

"They're here!" screamed the male Quarian.

"Shit! Bloodpack!" shouted Shepard as he and Garrus dived behind a stone wall. Gunfire erupted all around them as if they were in the middle of a thunderstorm. "Find cover and switch to incendiary ammo!"

They fight became so chaotic, Elaine struggled to keep track of where everyone was. She tried her hardest to stay close to the Quarians, to make sure none of their foes came close. She let loose the warry of the Champion, and watched several of the fanged aliens fall from its force, and her teammates become emboldened in the fight. Elaine pushed forward with shield raised to protect her head from the rain of bullets – and wished so badly for her old runes to be back with her again. She backhanded one Krogan across the face and slid down to her knees before it could try to grab her. She plunged her sword into its chest before pulling it out to slash it across the exposed throat, nearly decapitating it. One fanged-alien carried a gun that sprouted fire, and Elaine ran to kill it before it could get close to the others.

A roar sounded, and the biggest Krogan of the lot came lumbering into view, gun in hand. Old, dark eyes gleamed, his large mouth lifted in a grin. Perhaps bigger than Grunt, he carried himself with an arrogance that spoke of a warrior who had lived long and won nearly every battle he'd been in. "Finally, worthy opponents for worthy salvage!" he trumpeted, eyes fixated on the Quarians.

Tali answered him by setting her wisp on him, which he shot down easily. She then shot short but powerful blasts from her shotgun, gaze angry and defiant. The Krogan's invisible shields seemed to deal with most of the damage, though his smirk began to turn sour, hinting that something must have been hitting him. Still, no matter how much Tali fired, the Krogan came ever closer to his prey.

Cursing her own stupidity to be drawn away from her target, Elaine sprinted back towards her friend, and slid right between them and the Krogan. "I don't think so. You're mine."

She launched herself at the Krogan with a flashy leap that was supposed to be more distracting then it was practical. It worked, as the Krogan took a step back to get out of her way, which Elaine followed up with plenty of slashes and hacks to force him on the retreat. He held up his armoured wrist to try and block her strikes, but all it did was let her blade sink into his armour and chip pieces away. He tried to shoot her, and Elaine barely managed to get out of the way. Using the knowledge she'd gotten from her brief encounter with Grunt, she used it to her advantage, and made more agile moves that the Krogan couldn't counter.

But her luck seemed to falter when the Krogan's arm caught her in the side and sent her back a step. She coughed, but defiantly regained herself to get back into the ready position. "Surrender, Krogan!"

He grinned. "You do not know the Krogan very well if you think I'll surrender!"

"Ha! Have you no concern for your own existence?!" Elaine met his smirk and launched herself back into fight.

Yet this time, he was ready for her. With a roar, he charged at her, unbelievably fast for something of his size. Elaine knew it would end badly for her, and had only a split second to change her course and dived to the side. Converting the move into a roll as she landed, Elaine felt the ground tremble when a gunshot barely missed her as the Krogan anticipated her evasion and tried to catch her. Thinking in just a split second, Elaine brought herself up on the Krogan's flank, and slashed her sword at the back of his legs, what would be his thighs. Starfang sank deep, almost to the bone. The Krogan gasped and screeched as his leg crumpled. The sword bit at him again as it thrust its way through his back, though his hump had made Elaine's aim not as good as she'd hoped, for it missed both his hearts. She reached up to lop off his head –

Something smashed into her back. Elaine fell hard to the floor, the wind knocked from her lungs and Starfang leaving her hands to clutter somewhere far away. She struggled to scramble out of the way as the Varren on her back tried to rip into her suit, though the metal plating held. Just as the pain became unbearable, there was a loud shot, and blood spurted from a hole suddenly carved into the Varren's head. Shrugging the dead beast off, Elaine dizzily began to look around for her sword. Her head was pounding, did she hit it in the fall? Her breathing was uneven and she couldn't think.

"Elaine!" she heard someone shout.

As if sensing something behind her, Elaine turned, blinking away the world spinning slightly. Not far away, she saw her Krogan opponent, his eyes murderous as he crawled towards her. Knowing the danger, Elaine attempted to crawl away, searching the ground for any sign of her precious sword. A flash of blue – there! Amongst the moss covered rocks, just out of reach! She tried to crane her body towards it, but the hilt was too far away for her to grasp. She looked behind her, the Krogan was almost upon her.

Shepard's voice came to her in a panicked shout. "Elaine! What're you doing?! Shoot him!"

Her eyes flickered to the small gun Shepard had given her, still at her belt, unmoved. The thought to use it, to listen to Shepard's orders came to mind. But she didn't listen.

Rising to his knees above her, the Krogan roared and reached for her throat.

* * *

 **A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!**


	15. The Teacher

_For a man his age, Howe was surprisingly fast and lethal. Elaine left the others to deal with his apostate mage and thuggish guards, her attention was focused purely on her foe. She kept up her shield to block his snake-like strikes. Matching his speed for her strength, she drove Starfang through powerful swings that would cleave any man in two. But Howe managed to step around her at every opportunity. Then there was that dastardly smirk of his! It taunted her, a glint of teeth and tongue that unnerved her, infuriated her. His eyes were wild, his laughter still echoed in her ears, those words he'd said about her family –_

 _Distracted, she tried to evade too late, and Howe's blade sliced into her thigh, the blade cutting the one unprotected spot just above her knee. Elaine cried out when her leg buckled, and she sank to a half kneeling position. With one savage kick to her sternum, Howe sent her flying across the stone-floor. Winded, she struggled to breathe. Her sword lay just out of reach. Around her, she could faintly hear the shouts of her friends as they struggled to best their enemies. Storming the dungeon had been a mistake… Howe's forces were more powerful then she'd given him credit for. How could she have been so blinded? When had she become arrogant in her abilities that she thought herself invincible? Zevran was blasted in the chest by a lightning spell, and Elaine watched him drop to the floor, unmoving. She tried to scream but had no air in her body to do so._

 _There was something in Howe's eyes as he came to stand over her. Some frenzy that every woman feared. His smirk of triumph growing, Howe sheathed one of his swords and reached for her. Still struggling to regain the basic function of breathing, Elaine was almost helpless, her pathetic attempts to fight him easily thwarted. Cold fingers wrapped around her neck whilst the other still held his long dagger that he began to move underneath her chainmail._

 _A move of her father's called back to her in that one moment of blind panic and long-thinking. Before he could straddle her, her feet kicked up against his chest. Instead of sending him backwards, and sent her skidding just far enough away that she reached her sword with one hand, spun, and drove it into Howe's stomach. But she didn't want him dead just yet, not so easily. Her blade slid across, half disembowelling him, and her fist punched his screams into silence._

Elaine came back to the present as the Krogan's fingers came within three inches of her throat. Right behind her, she heard the Quarians scream. She did not think. She acted.

Her boots came up and connected with the Krogan's chest. Pushing on them with a sudden heave, it had no effect on the sturdy Krogan, but had all the effect on Elaine, as she shot backwards along the ground. Twisting, her hand grasped out around the hilt of Starfang. The ground shook with the force of the Krogan's roar as he stormed after her. Spinning, Elaine struck out. Starfang sank easily straight underneath the deep-brown front plate on the Krogan's head, orange blood squirting onto her, as the sword tore through skull and brain. The behemoth of a creature came to a halt, frozen on the spot as its body struggled to accept the reality that it was about to die. And then, all at once, it collapsed in a huge heap with a fountain of dust.

Slouching as the adrenaline ran its aftershocks, Elaine let her heartbeat slow as the last enemies were shot down. Distantly, she was aware over the radio of Joker reporting no more Bloodpack shuttles, and so their own pickup was coming back in. Stiffly, she got to her feet. Damnit, how many flashbacks could one person have in one week?

"Elaine!" cried Tali, and suddenly the Quarian was right in front of her, slim three-fingered hands moving over her armour, Omnitool alight to check for injuries. "Keelah, are you alright? Why would you do something so stupid?!"

"Tali, Tali, hey..." Elaine murmured, a little out of breath. Grasping hold of Tali's shoulders she directed the other woman's bright gaze to her own. "It's alright. I'm uninjured."

With a sigh, the Quarian seemed to relax. And then, quick as a snake, she slapped the Warden's shoulder. "Don't you ever do that again, you Bosh'tet!"

"Ow," she whined, but she'd felt nothing. "How're the survivors?"

As if in answer, a shaky voice reached out to them. "You saved us... th-thank you, human. Keelah se'lai..."

Though the words were untranslated by the new _technology-thing_ in her head, Elaine still felt in her core some form of great significance to the words. They struck her, and left her with a feeling of importance, that she would not forget those words in a hurry. Perhaps she should ask Tali about it later. But for now, she could enjoy the fact the battle was done. As did the others. Everyone made sure their Quarian charges were alright, and that no one else had sustained any injuries. Whilst Tali prepared her people for the incoming shuttle and Garrus rifled through the dead Bloodpack for any valuables or evidence, Shepard came over to Elaine. "You alright?" he asked.

"Of course, Shepard," she sighed, then tried to alleviate the tension with a joke. "A Krogan's nothing compared to an Ogre."

But Shepard was not amused. "So you wanna tell me why you didn't just shoot that Krogan?"

"What?" Elaine blinked, blindsided by the sudden shift in the conversation.

"That thing was right on top of you, he was gonna pull you apart. Why didn't you just shoot him before he got too close?"

Despite the fact that the Commander seemed distressed by her choice as much as he appeared angry, Elaine was not in the mood to be spoken to in such a manner. "I had my sword, I needed nothing else."

"Not true." He snapped. "That's why I gave you the goddamn gun, Elaine – so you can use it when your sword isn't gonna cut it."

"And as I have demonstrated, I have no need of it."

Shepard's dark eyes narrowed suspiciously. Squaring his shoulders, he held out a hand to her. "Give me the pistol."

A sixth sense told her this would end badly, but she had no reason to deny him. Slowly, she reached to her hip and rather clumsily removed the blocky object to hand over to him. With an immediate finesse and expertise, Shepard unfolded the gun, flicked a switch and it opened wide. Steam erupted with a hiss, and the gun spat out a small cylinder. Shepard caught it in his other hand. Rolling it between two fingers, even holding it up to the light, he inspected it. Elaine struggled not to let even her feet twitch; she was reminded of a time her father had examined a duplicate vase she'd once secretly bought to replace the antique one she'd broken at age nine. The comparison didn't do anything for her mood.

The Commander seemed to find what he was looking for. Flicking the cylinder back into the gun, he fixed her with a hard look. "I read the thermal clip's serial number when I put it in."

She snorted. "How could you possibly remember that?"

"It's my job to remember little shit like that – it helps me know when someone tries to bullshit me." He thrust the gun back at her. "You haven't fired it one yet."

Despite the fact that it was perhaps very juvenile of her, Elaine couldn't stop herself from retaliating. "I do not see why I should have to."

"Damnit, Elaine; so that situations like this can be avoided!"

"I am not an archer. You expect me to throw out all my instincts, years of training, the very foundations of how I fight – for _this_?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, Shepard sighed. "No, of course I don't. You fight how you fight. Doesn't bother me. But when you blatantly ignore my advice and don't use the tools I give you? _Then_ I have a problem."

"Whine all you wish. I won't use it."

"I'm not whining – and you will stop acting like a stuck-up brat on this and be the adult I know you are."

Elaine's fists clenched. "Do not speak to me like–"

"I am. Get over it." The two glared at each other. Perhaps they might've regressed into a full brawl, had Shepard not motioned quickly to their right. Elaine followed his gaze to where he pointed to Tali helping the two other Quarians to the landing zone. "What would've happened if that Krogan got you before you reached your sword?"

She knew where this was headed, and she didn't like to think on such possibilities. "You saw I can handle myself, Shepard. I am no amateur."

"You'd be dead. What would've happened to the Quarians if that happened?" The pressed issue silenced her. The guilt was too much. What a blatant disregard of her duty to these people – that she would choose her own pride over them. It made her angry; with herself as much as Shepard. Just one more fuck up to add to her list. Shepard's voice rang in her ears, clipped and unsympathetic. "In future, you're going to use the weapons I give you. Because if you don't, it could cost people their lives."

He stormed off, to do what, Elaine didn't care. She was embarrassed, guilty, hurt and furious. She wanted to scream. To hit something. Glaring down at the offending object in her hands, she roughly thrust it back in its place on her hip. Refusing to stamp her foot like an petulant child, biting her lip to stop herself from shouting, she turned and skulked away. Hopefully she might be able to find some way to cool off.

But she highly doubted it.

* * *

Seeing as how all the salvaged gear from the Quarians needed to be recovered, Shepard ordered the shuttle to take two trips to get everyone back on board the Normandy as well as the equipment. That meant someone needed to stay behind and guard it from any potential Bloodpack stragglers still in the area. It was obvious Elaine was staying from the way she was excluding herself from any conversation. In the half hour since she and the Commander had argued, she still hadn't come out of sulking. Not feeling right about leaving her in such a state, Garrus volunteered to stay behind as well.

He watched the shuttle leave with Shepard, Tali and their Quarian passengers on board. He knew it would be a minimum of half an hour, more likely forty minutes, before the shuttle could be ready to come back to pick them up. Nothing to do but wait. And whilst wasting his time, bored out of his plates seemed like such a _great_ idea, Garrus couldn't help but glance over at the human woman sat down at the edge of the Quarian camp. Perhaps he should go over and say something? Cheer her up a bit? Would she welcome it? He knew Shepard back on the SR1 never liked anyone butting in on his business until he calmed down a little. And Garrus considered his experiences with Shepard to be the only good knowledge he had on humans. But then he thought about this morning, the heart-breaking story she'd shared. That was something Shepard never did, expose something so vulnerable so openly. Elaine was very different from his Commander, he realised. In fact, he was beginning to realise just how different she was to _any_ human he'd ever known.

Eventually, his feet decided for him, as he made his way over to her. Elaine was sat glaring out onto the jungle, elbows wrapped around her knees. With no better idea of what to do, Garrus sat down beside her, gazing out into the underbrush to try and see what she was seeing. Nothing. He then noticed the pile of ripped up grass between her feet, how a few blades still clung to the tips of her gloves. Gaze wandering along her taunt muscles on her arms, he watched her throat bob and shift as she swallowed. A vein was pulsing at her right temple, her dark brows furrowing over those chilling blue eyes. Plump rosy lips were pressed into a hard, thin line, the upper side slightly twisted, as if she were about to bear her teeth. She still hadn't looked over at him; either she hadn't noticed him yet, or she was deliberately ignoring him and hoping he'd go away.

"Hey," Garrus dared to venture. With a sharp blink, Elaine looked over at him. "You okay?"

She was silent a moment, and then turned back towards the jungle. "What do you think?"

"I think you got your ass handed to you pretty well." He nodded. The Warden looked over sharply at him, nostrils flaring with indignation. Garrus held up his hands for peace. "Look, all I'm saying is–"

"This is simply incorrigible!" Elaine snarled, thrusting her hands into the dirt to propel herself upwards onto her feet. She began to pace in front of him, again as if he were not even there, every movement as tense as a Varren ready to enter a fighting pit. "He refuses to acknowledge the merits to my own fighting style. Even when I prove myself, time and time again – I'm even dressed in the armour he chose! – he would still treat me as inferior because it does not fit to his standards of 'normal'."

"It's not about being Inferior," Garrus snapped and stood himself. Elaine whirled on him, and he tried to calm the situation by lowering his voice. "What I mean is, I get it from the perspective of the mission. This's about the team. We need to know that we're all gonna do whatever it takes to have each other's backs and get the job done. Even if it means leaving our comfort zone. We can't lose people to things like this... Shepard nearly watched losing you to a Krogan."

He never thought he'd see it, but he watched all the fight drain out of her shoulders. Shame made her head roll down, her arms folding around herself. He understood that. Having to admit you fucked up, where superior logic wins out over your warped prideful view. How many chiefs did he have to dance that routine with? Elaine slowly turned her gaze up to his, but seemed unsure and quickly turned away. "I am no archer. What if my aim is so terrible I hurt one of you?"

"Aim'll get better in time." Seeing she was nervous, he tried to lighten the mood. "Obviously, you could never achieve godly status like me, but…"

"And… what if I don't know how to use it?"

" _Ah_." _Way to go, Vakarian,_ he thought. Great, how was he gonna get out of this one? Words weren't going to solve this problem. He knew how this felt, and it needed action. A quick check on his visor told him they still had time before their ride was due. "Well, shuttle's gonna be a while. How about we do a little bottle-shooting?"

She cocked her head, inquisitive. "What's bottle-shooting?"

It only took Garrus maybe eight or ten minutes to set up two crates approximately 25 metres apart. On one he stacked various empty bottles from the Quarians' rations stores, some tall and thin and others short and fat, all stood in a line. At the other end was Elaine, looking decidedly confused. When Garrus was finally happy with his arrangement, making sure the sun wasn't going to blind them and the wind wouldn't interfere too much, he jogged over to join her. The woman was twiddling locks of her pale gold hair between her fingers absentmindedly, perhaps a bad habit when she was nervous, Garrus guessed. He tried to look as if he hadn't noticed, and quickly busied himself making sure her pistol was ready. Thermal clip in place, no special ammo selected. He made sure it was collapsed before he handed it over to her.

Elaine handled it carefully, as if it were a new-born babe. She was confused by its folded appearance and turned it this way and that, and even shook it, in an attempt to set it free. Finally she looked over at Garrus. "I can't unfold it."

"That's because the safety's on. It makes sure you can't shoot yourself in the foot by accident. Click the safety – that button there." He pointed to a small switch just above the trigger. Doing so, Elaine almost jumped when the pistol sprang to attention. Reaching out, Garrus helped move her arms into position. "Right, hold your arm up and level – no, not locked. Soften the elbow a little. Now support it with your other hand underneath."

She did as he said, slowly, desperate to not screw it up. Garrus waited patiently until she was ready. It was almost adorable to watch her brow furrow a little as she tried to work out everything she needed to do. He was even a little impressed when she seemed to take into account her feet position and the rotation of her body. Even though she didn't claim to be an 'archer', Garrus thought she'd dabbled in a long-range weapon at least once in order to get that right. Freezing in place, she awaited further instruction.

"Okay, now. When the safety's off, that means the gun's live and you can fire it. Aim at the bottles on the other end, any one will do. Squeeze the trigger gently, and brace for the recoil."

They waited. Elaine looked down their makeshift shooting range, eyes squinting slightly to see the bottles clearly. Automatically, her arm adjusted a little to more centralise on her chosen target. Biting her lip, her brows came down in concentration. With exaggerated gentleness, Elaine pulled back her index finger to press the trigger. The loud ' _BANG_ ' that erupted from the gun seemed deafening in the silence of the valley. Somewhere far away, birds flew up into the air. Garrus checked the bottles with the assistance of his visor. Of the six he'd set up, none were missing. A small bullet hole still smoked on the crate just beneath the left-most bottle.

"Oh!" Elaine groaned and rolled her right shoulder. Obviously she hadn't expected the recoil.

"I did say brace for the recoil." Garrus chuckled and came to stand beside her. Elaine followed his gaze and noticed the miss. Her shoulders slumped dejectedly, and Garrus felt the need to defend it. "Hmmm, not bad… for a beginner. Looks like you're tilting the nose down a little. Maybe rotate your wrist just a little."

To demonstrate, he clasped her wrist between his long fingers and slowly turned it by just a fraction so that the gun was pointing upwards a little. Elaine nodded and he moved back again. Taking aim on her target on the left-side bottle, Elaine's eyes narrowed. This time she was quicker to go through the steps. Aim, pause, shoot. This time the recoil didn't take her by surprise. She and Garrus looked down the range, and saw the scorch mark of a bullet went right across the top of the container, just to the right of its intended target.

"Getting better,"

Elaine snorted, and threw him a lopsided grin. "Obviously I'm not at your 'godly status' yet."

"No point trying to beat _that_ , tough girl." He teased. "You could practise like this the rest of your life and still never be on my level."

"How humble." She murmured sarcastically with a roll of her eyes.

"It's a burden I have to bear," he sighed dramatically, fanning his face with his fingers in a way he'd seen humans do on the cheesy vids. Elaine laughed loudly.

When her giggles finally subsided, she held out the pistol to him, chin tilted upwards expectantly. "Okay then, show me."

The grin that spread across Garrus's mandibles was almost evil as he strutted forward and calmly took the pistol from her. He aimed with one hand levelled towards the target. Glancing down, his smirk was still in place when he pulled the trigger and released two shots in quick succession. The two bottles on the left hand side shattered immediately. Only four bottles left.

Elaine's jaw went slack. "Oh…"

"I'm Garrus Vakarian, the undisputed king of the bottle-shooters!" he cheered. Perhaps it was unfair, maybe he was showing off just a little. But Elaine's smile was enough. With exaggerated sympathy, he came in close and squeezed her shoulder. "Don't feel too bad. We all start somewhere."

She chortled and took the pistol back from him. With pursed lips, she flicked her ponytail in an almost expert way so that it hit him across the face. Garrus spluttered to get it off before it could get caught in his mandibles. Elaine's laughter rang around his ears, and he couldn't help but laugh with her. When finally they calmed, she once again took aim, not one to be so easily defeated. "So where did the mighty Garrus Vakarian start, then?"

"On Palaven, my homeworld. My dad would get me to shoot bottles like this with a sniper-rifle. Damn thing was too heavy for me when I was young. But he kept me at it. Wouldn't let me stop until I hit at least one of them."

 _BANG!_ She fired, and again missed. "Sounds familiar. My father did the same with my first sword. Refused to teach me until I could swing it myself."

"If you give up on something when it gets hard, you'll never make it anywhere in life." He recited quietly, his father's words from when he'd been just a boy in that sunny field on Palaven.

Elaine glanced over at him whilst she aimed again, one eyebrow perked upwards. "Um, alright, that sounds a little less familiar."

"Got to hand it to him, wouldn't be where I am now if he hadn't pushed it."

"You wouldn't be the god we bow and worship," she snickered, trying to lighten his suddenly withdrawn mood, maybe. He gave her a smile for her efforts. Damnit, a guy could get used to that kind of flattery. She fired again, and the bullet hit the rockwall behind the bottles. Finally, it seemed Elaine had lost her patience. "Andraste's flaming arse! If I just had a way to see what I'm aiming at clearly…"

"Like a scope?" he offered. Reaching back, he unclipped his sniper rifle and held it out to her.

One would've thought he'd offered her a basket of snakes from the way she jumped back, hands held up to ward him off. "Garrus, that's _your_ weapon!"

"I know." He shrugged. What was the problem now?

"You can't just give it away, it's important. It's _yours_. As a friend once told me, _no soldier should cast aside his blade while he draws breath_ ,"

"Elaine, it's alright. I trust you," said Garrus. She opened her mouth to argue, but their stares met, and she closed it in silence. Some part of him respected her wish to honour him with this sentiment, and she was right, he usually wouldn't give away his gun to anyone. But it was as he said: he trusted her. Trying to put her at ease, his mandibles spread in a cocksure smile. "Come on, it'll be fun."

Her fingers twiddled with the ends of her hair again. "Well, um… what do I do?"

"Here," he handed her the rifle and she carefully took it. She grunted on taking the surprising weight of it but made no complaint. Kneeling beside their rate, he gestured for her to join him. "Kneel down, rest your elbows there."

Once again, she obediently did as instructed without question. Perhaps she might've made a good Turian, he thought to himself. When they were both knelt down, he pushed on her back so that she leant forward and put her elbows on the crate, rifle in hand. Unlike before, now her positioning looked off. Though he felt awkward to do so, he couldn't correct her from a distance on this. With a fortifying deep breath, he positioned himself tightly behind her. His keen ears picked up the hitch in her breath, and her head darted around to try and see what he was doing. It took a moment to figure out how her slim body could fit against his bulky torso. Chest against her back, his long arms reached around her to help position her arms and the angle of her torso. It was as if she were the puppet and he the puppeteer, her strings connected to his corresponding parts. He tried to banish from his mind how if anyone came across this scene, they might get the wrong idea, considering the rather… ahem, _intimate_ position they were in. But he shook it off. Let people think what they wanted. It made no difference to him, he was just helping out a friend.

"Widen the space between your legs. Root yourself in place." he said, mandibles just behind her ear. With his knee, he nudged her leg to try and prompt her into responding. Slowly, she did. Craning his head to see around her, he placed his hands over hers on the rifle and they brought it in close to her body. "Cradle the stock against your shoulder like _that_. Be sure to keep it firm there, or you'll get a nasty bruise on the kick. Now, one hand here, and one hand there. Okay, look down the scope. Can you see?"

Hesitating, she bent her head, one eye screwed shut, so that she could peer into the scope. A little surprised squeak left her lips as she came away, blinked, and then went back. "It's like a spyglass,"

"Don't come away, just listen." He said. She stayed in place. He could've moved away, but he didn't. Instead, he remained close by her face, a small part of his brain cataloguing how surprisingly soft her hair was against his face. "Hold the rifle tight against you. Breathe evenly, steady your heart… Look down the scope, breathe in, pull the trigger, breathe out. Easy."

He felt her chest expand within the cage made by his body. Ever so slightly, he inched the barrel just a little to the right without her noticing his influence. She took in one deep breath, and then hold it a moment. The suspension of time held its sway over them. Garrus waited. Beneath his palm, he felt her finger squeeze the trigger. With an explosion of sound, the rifle fired. It might have taken Elaine back with its powerful kick, but Garrus held her firm. She let out the breath she'd been holding, and steadied herself. The pair of them looked down the shooting range, and found that only three bottles remained.

Moving away so that they could look at each other, Garrus grinned proudly. "See? Easy."

She was beaming from ear to ear like a child. And then she turned back to him and thumped him on the shoulder. "You helped."

"Maybe a little."

Others might've seen that as them having failed. But Elaine was still grinning at finally having won something. Her merriment was infectious, and Garrus smiled so widely it almost made his scars hurt beneath the bandage. Carefully, reverently, Elaine handed Garrus back his rifle. He took it back but didn't straight away clip it into place on his shoulder. The pair gazed at one another, Elaine opening her mouth to say something –

The distant whine of shuttle thrusters alerted them. Heads snapped to attention they watched the shuttle come barrelling in. The tension eased when they noticed the now familiar golden Cerberus symbol painted proudly on its side. A hot wind was thrust up into being as the craft slowed and came in for a landing in the camp. The engine hadn't even been turned off before the door was slowly lifted open. Garrus had expected Shepard to be the one to come back, but was quite surprised to see Jacob step out instead. As the shuttle was put on standby and the pilot came out to help load up, Jacob stepped forward towards Elaine and Garrus, who stood to greet him. Dark skin shining in the tropical sun, Jacob smiled at his crewmates.

"Hey Garrus. Shepard sent me back to help load up the tech," he said with a nod. Garrus returned it but said nothing. Jacob's eyes then seem to catch on Elaine and the makeshift shooting-range. "What you up to there, Elaine?"

Cheeks turning a slight shade of pink, Elaine smiled for Jacob. "Oh, Garrus was just trying to teach me how to use a gun. I'm not very good, I'm afraid."

"With a rifle?" Jacob asked when his eyes caught sight of Garrus's gun still in his hands. Strolling up closer, Jacob chuckled with a shake of his head. "Nah, that's not the way to go. Too big, can't do much with 'em. Remember what I said about pistols?"

Sinking into a hip, Elaine tilted her head at him, stretching out her neck. "Gets the job done and looks flashy?"

"Exactly. I'll show ya," Jacob excitedly reached for his pistol and moved up next to Elaine. He fitted against her perfectly as he leaned around her. Garrus glared at his back, a little irritated at having been forgotten so easily. As if he sensed it, Jacob looked around and shrugged apologetically. "Oh, hey Vakarian? You mind loading up while me and Elaine mess around a minute?"

Fists clenched, Garrus had to clamp his mandibles sight against his face to stop himself snapping. Elaine looked over at him, an apology in her eyes, before Jacob directed her attention away by instructing her further on how to shoot his pistol. Garrus was a little confused on why he suddenly felt so angry with the human male. He was just helping Elaine, same as he had only a few moments ago. Maybe it was because Garrus had been pushed aside to do the work while Jacob slacked off because of a pretty girl. He knew Jacob wasn't the usual Cerberus xenophobe, but that didn't mean to say he was better than Ashley had once been either. Or was it because, for the first time since Omega, Garrus had thought he'd been having fun? Just stupid, normal fun with a friend. It made him feel more alive. Yeah, on the Normandy everything was okay, but there was still that sense of duty, of their purpose lingering over them when he was with friends. And when he was alone with his calibrations and his thoughts, he couldn't stop stray memories from haunting him. But today, he'd felt like he used to; before Omega, before Shepard died, even before the battle of the Citadel. So was it just irrational anger at his fun being spoilt by Jacob's untimely arrival? That must be it…

"Garrus? Are you alright?"

He looked up sharply at Elaine's voice. Those blue eyes were fixed on his with concern. He hadn't even realised he'd been stood there lost in his own mind. Hurriedly to cover his embarrassment, he picked up the crate by her feet and walked back to the shuttle with a huff. "Sure…"

* * *

 **A/N: Have I ever mentioned how much I love writing Garrus? It just gives me an excuse to watch all footage of him on youtube, play the games again with him in my squad on every mission, romance him AGAIN... yeah, I'm a bit obsessed...**

 **Anyway, thank you to everyone who left me awesome feedback last chapter! You guys are amazing and I love you so much! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well - I know I certainly enjoyed writing it ;) And please feel free to leave me a review down below, I really appreciate any and all feedback. It helps me improve and lets me know what kind of content you guys are liking.**

 **Up next Monday, we go to Tuchanka! :D I CAN'T WAIT!**


	16. The Rite

Grunt stood with eyes squeezed shut, his blood near to boiling in his veins. A growl rumbled like thunder out from his chest to echo around his room. Elaine stood before him, arms folded, waiting. The Krogan's brow furrowed in concentration. Fists clenched, lip peeling back, his entire body was tensed. The bloodrage of which Krogans were most famous for poured off of him in waves, it was in fact a miracle that he wasn't roaring and charging around trying to kill all those near him because of it. Elaine was impressed by still it wasn't enough. Since she'd taken on teach Grunt about the Berserker abilities, she was impressed in how far he'd come. He was now on the third level, though this particular stage was proving a little more difficult.

Slowly, he opened his bright blue eyes, pupils thinned to mere slits. After a moment, he tried to focus on Elaine's face, and little by little, his pupils began to widen to a more acceptable level. Despite the fury still coursing through him, he appeared to be mostly in control. Elaine had to change that, and so slapped him across the face. Hard.

She wore her armour specifically for this so as to make him even aware of it and not shrug her off. It had the desired effect. Grunt's growl grew in volume to the point of animalistic, lips pulled completely back to reveal all his teeth. Instantly his pupils went back to a razor's edge, and he lost it. With a roar he charged her. And with practised ease now, Elaine ducked, sidestepped him and clamped one hand on top of his head whilst the other pinched and twisted a soft spot on his neck just behind the ear. It was technique used to get Mabari warhounds out of their frenzy if they lost it on a target. Elaine and Grunt had been using it as a signal. It did not hurt Grunt, not in the slightest, but the sharp sensation was enough to break his focus and get him to loosen the rage's hold on him. With a frustrated hiss he shook her off and stood, slamming his fists into a locker.

"You'll get there, Grunt," Elaine told him softly. "Constraint is a more difficult level, it goes against everything you've been learning so far." She sat down beside the huge glass tank. Eye lids heavy, she felt exhausted from another night of insomnia. The nightmares were becoming more frequent. Nothing memorable like the night after the Collector Ship, but random images, sounds and sensations that left her sleepless.

"How am I supposed to have control when my blood demands action?" he demanded.

"If you control the rage, it will help you to stop spending your energy needlessly."

"I know, I know." He murmured. "But I am meant to be the perfect Krogan. If I cannot master this, it means I am weak."

That had her send him a glare resolutely. "You are not. Each of us face our challenges, Grunt. That does not for one moment mean we are weak. It makes us mortal. True strength comes from defeating those obstacles despite the adversity. Only if you give up, are you weak. And from what I've seen, you do not give up. Do you, Grunt?"

"You're damn right, I don't!" he grinned and slammed his fists against his chest.

She grinned. "That's what I thought."

 _'_ _Grunt,'_ came EDI's melodic voice. _'_ _Commander Shepard requests you join him at the Shuttle. We are about to drop onto Tuchanka.'_

The young Krogan's entire body seemed to tighten and come alive with over-enthusiastic energy. Like a child, he seemed to be filled with excitement that made him nearly bounce from foot to foot. It made Elaine nearly laugh. And then she wasn't laughing when Grunt suddenly grabbed hold of her wrist and nearly yanked her off her feet as he charged out towards the elevator. When finally they came to the shuttle, they found Shepard and Garrus waiting for them.

Shepard cocked a brow at the sight of Elaine. "I don't remember requesting your presence on this mission."

Before Elaine could reply, Grunt cut in. "Shepard, I want Elaine to come with us."

"Excuse me?" the commander's other brow joined its brother half way up his forehead.

"She is a warrior, like me, like my people. And she has been teaching me how to Berserk, to use my rage. I know she will understand song of battle that flows through Tuchanka's mighty veins!"

"Grunt, you've never been to Tuchanka."

The large alien shrugged. "No. But Okeer's imprints show me many great things. They can't be wrong!"

* * *

With that being said… Tuchanka wasn't exactly what Elaine was expecting. At all. Out of the window of the shuttle, she spied a desert world, through which even she could feel the warmth of the sun sink between the door seals to warm her in her armour. Gale winds churned up dust from the ground until it formed a sandstorm in appearance, and whistled along streets that looked new… yet ancient. Elaine recognised buildings that seemed to possess the similar style that attributes an advanced world. What these aliens called 'sky-scrapers', towers that stood alone to pierce the heavens, now stood as frozen skeletons, their skins rotted away to reveal their bones and innards within. What once might have been a great blocky city was in ruins, with buildings crumpled to dust, machinery left to sit and decay where they fell. Elaine wondered what had happened to this world that might've made it look so old and scarred.

Their shuttle landed below the main surface level. To be sheltered from the battering winds and hazardous exposure to the other elements, the Krogan people clan they had come to visit had made their settlement just beneath the surface. They used natural dips in the earth that were walled-in by pieces of broken buildings; interconnecting tunnels and the remains of city squares and forts to make their homes. When Elaine and the others came out of the shuttle, they were greeted by a welcoming party of not-so-friendly Krogan. Elaine resisted the urge to reach for her sword at her back. Surrounded by so many Krogan, with their love of violence and natural high aggression, made her on edge. Yet the way they interacted with each other, the way they spoke, the way they held themselves seemed so familiar to her. She saw them stand tall, look their opposition in the eye at all times and used subtle physical hints to establish dominance. Elaine knew all of this far too well, for she had grown up in a world of warriors. It almost made her grin to think that there was one more small part of this whole new universe that she actually understood.

The Krogans that welcomed them alluded to knowing what was wrong with Grunt, but they remained cryptic in their answers. Only telling the group to see the Clan Leader. They made their way into the heart of the Clan, and Elaine heard snippets of conversations from all over. She watched Shepard at their lead. For some reason, the Commander seemed particularly tense, as if he were expecting trouble, or somehow was dreading what was to come. Garrus kept shooting Shepard worried glances too. Was there something amiss here that she was unaware of? Keeping her musings to herself, she stared as they came out into the encampment's centre and found it to be… rather unsatisfying. Broken bricks and stones made walkways, beams and metal grating were walls, canvas and any other loose cloth functioned as doors. The only way to tell that the Krogan were advanced at all was by their various large weapons, GIGANTIC-carriages, and their use of terminals here and there. Elaine didn't know what she'd been expecting when Grunt had talked non-stop the whole way here, but decided to herself that this certainly wasn't it.

Apparently, Grunt was disappointed with it as well. " _This_ is the great Krogan homeworld? This is the land of Kredak, Shiagur and Veeoll? This chunk of rock is barely worth standing on!"

"Halt!" a guard stopped the group when they approached a raised plateau that overlooked the entire camp. "You must wait until the Clan Leader summons you. He is… in talks."

Elaine craned her neck to see around them. A very large Krogan sat on what looked like a stone throne made out of rubble and debris. His head plate was a bright, fiery red that matched his eyes like a dragon's. a set of scars that seemed formed like claw marks ran down one side of his face, from head-plate, to the bottom of his yellow throat, nearly claiming his right eye. In every bulging muscle beneath his silver armour, Elaine saw an ancient warrior, one who had fought and won every battle he'd ever had, a creature that brokered no tomfoolery or stupidity. He lounged in his throne, not caring to cover his boredom as another Krogan stood before him, this one with a green head-plate, and surprisingly purple lips.

"You know what tradition demands," droned on and on the Krogan to the Clan-Chief. "Clan Urdnot _must_ respond! Your reforms will not go unopposed. You risk appearing weak at a critical time–"

But at that moment. The Clan-leader had glanced over and spotted the large alien party just beyond the reach of his throne. Immediately forgetting his 'talks', he stood and said with deepest voice Elaine had ever heard: "Shepard!"

Oh, apparently he knew the Commander? Elaine was surprised. Shepard seemed to stall for a single moment, unsure of what to do. If the Warden didn't know better, she'd say he was frightened? But then, a beaming grin split the human man's face in two and he strolled right past the guard. "Good enough? Excuse me."

As Shepard made his way through the many guards to reach the Clan-leader, said Krogan had practically jumped down off of his throne, and shoved his dignitary to the side. "Uvenk, out of my way!" and then the two came face to face. "Shepard! My friend!" The Clan-leader clasped hold of Shepard's hand and shook it, patting him on the back with genuine warmth and affection that only made Shepard's own smile seem to grow. Elaine was honestly touched by the reunion. "You look good for dead, Shepard. Should've known the void couldn't hold you."

She blinked. Wait a minute, Shepard _DIED?!_

"Wrex!" The Commander grinned. "Looks like you've done well for yourself."

"Not just for me, Shepard, but for all Krogan." The Clan-leader, Wrex, proclaimed proudly. "Clan Urdnot is just the start. When I'm done, we will be one people again!"

The Krogan that Wrex had been in talks with and quickly dismissed sidled up beside him, lip curling distastefully. "You abandon many traditions to get your way… Dangerous."

Wrex responded by throwing his head full-force into his subordinate's face. The krogan crumpled to the ground from the impact, shaken, and Elaine couldn't hide her grin. All at once, she decided she _very much_ liked this one!

"Speak when spoken to, Uvenk." Wrex commanded and then strolled back to his throne with a mutter. "I'll drag your clan to glory, whether it likes it or not…"

Elaine smirked at Uvenk as the group passed him by to stand before Wrex. She'd known many a small noble, a Bann who thought to grasp beyond his reach, only managing to piss off every other person of _real_ importance around him. But she liked the Krogan approach to these things. As a noble you had to tiptoe around even those who pretended to have power when in actuality they had none. It was simply another part of the great game. But here? The Krogan people were warriors to the bone, and apparently, when someone pissed you off, they deserved to be headbutted. She'd have to remember that one.

"Wrex… as charming as ever," Garrus smirked.

The Clan-leader grinned in an almost evil manner. "Garrus. All grown up now, kid? Finally got yourself some decent scars."

"I know. Careful Wrex, I'll have to beat your women back with a stick."

"Ha! And I'm sure they'd like to beat _you_ into Varren-chow." Wrex chuckled throatily. Still with a smile, he turned back to the Commander. "Now, Shepard! What brings you here?"

"I've got a Krogan on my crew," said Shepard, pointing a thumb at Grunt. "He has a sickness and needs treatment."

Grunt seemed immersed in his surroundings, so Elaine decided to give him a hard shove to get his attention back in the game. As the young Krogan came forward, Wrex's hellish red eyes narrowed on him. Everything in his face spoke of scrutiny, of assessing and deciding. It reminded Elaine of an animal sizing up the competition in a younger male to his turf. And to his credit, Grunt just stared back, unflinching. Whether indifferent or unknowing of the intensity in Wrex's gaze was a mystery.

"Where are you from, whelp?" asked Wrex, and there seemed to be a note of disapproval there. "Was your clan destroyed before you could learn what is _expected_ of you?"

Elaine almost winced at the tone in Wrex's voice. Somehow, Grunt hadn't even said a word or done anything and yet he'd managed to make some form of cultural blunder. The importance of clan with which the Krogan spoke of, of tradition and expectations placed upon those within its systems, reminded her of the dwarves and their caste system. She bit her lip to stop herself from stepping forward and defending Grunt. No one put down her people, not while she breathed. But having said that, if this was how Grunt would get the help he needed, he would have to one day grow up and fight his own battles… It only then occurred to her how young Grunt was. Even though she didn't know his exact age, by the way the plates on his head looked different from the other adults around him, his inexperience and over-enthusiastic energy about everything new… he was practically a _child_.

"I have no clan," said Grunt simply. "I was tankbred by Warlord Okeer. My line distilled from Kradok, Moro, Shiagur."

"You recite warlords," spat Uvenk with clear revulsion as his eyes looked Grunt up and down. "But you are the offspring of a _syringe_."

Shepard and Elaine stood side by side, arms folded with an identical scowl upon their faces towards Uvenk. They noticed the way Grunt's eyes flickered briefly, and how he tried to defend himself. "I am pure Krogan. You should be in awe."

"Okeer is a very old name…" murmured Wrex. "A very _hated_ name."

"He is dead."

"Of course he is. You're with Shepard. How could he be alive?"

"Come on, Wrex," said Shepard. "Cut to the chase, what's wrong with Grunt?"

"There's nothing wrong with him. He's becoming a full adult."

Elaine blinked and had to shake her head to try and process that information a second time. Apparently, Garrus also seemed to have his doubts, and scoffed. "Adolescence? Can't we just take him to Omega and buy him a few dances?"

Somehow, the absurdity of the remark, the mental image it invoked, as well as the confusion and relief that _this_ was what they were all worried about with Grunt, made Elaine burst out in a fit of loud giggles. "Garrus, a warrior has his glory, feasting and whoring _after_ battle. If Grunt's violent because he's hormonal, the only way that's going to settle is to vent it out. A good fight to stretch out all the muscles and learn that control,"

"Ahhh… Finally, an alien who understands our ways." Wrex sighed, looking upon Elaine for the first time. She watched his eyes dart over her armour, the gaze lingering on her sword and shield at her back. If she didn't know any better, she would say he approved.

She stood tall and nodded to him. "I am Elaine Cousland. Warrior and Grey Warden."

Wrex cocked a brow and glanced over at the Commander expectantly. "Where'd you find _this one_ , Shepard?"

The Commander scratched the back of his neck and winced. "You could say she sort of fell into my lap…"

"Well, she's right. Krogan undergo the Rite of Passage–"

"Too far, Wrex!" Uvenk shouted and stormed off. "Your clan may rule, but _this thing_ is NOT Krogan!"

Wrex watched him leave, and then muttered under his breath. "Idiot. So, Grunt, do you wish to stand with Urdnot?"

"It is in my blood, it is what I am for."

Wrex nodded. "Good boy. Speak with the Shaman, he's over on the second level. Give him a good show and he'll set you on the path." Wrex then threw Shepard a half-smirk. "You too, Shepard. How many times have you stepped in a mess for your crew, hmm?"

With that, they left Wrex to his throne and his politics and made their way through the encampment to the second-level where they'd been instructed. Running up a flight of stairs, Shepard led the group to the upper-level, where they found Uvenk and several other Krogan who shared Uvenk's armour colours had beaten them to it. They stood before an old Krogan, if the sagging skin and deep, dark, ancient eyes were any indication. He was dressed not in armour like the other Krogan, but he still radiated authority with his deep-set frown and unyielding gaze. Evidently, this was the shaman.

"You go beyond yourself, Gatatog Uvenk!" snapped the Shaman impatiently. "The rights of Urdnot are dominant."

"How do we know it will challenge him?" Uvenk pressed. "He's unnatural! The beasts of the rite could ignore him like a lump of plastic."

"They know blood no matter the womb. Your barking does not help your case."

"I'll speak for myself!" interrupted Grunt furiously as he came onto the scene, glaring daggers at Uvenk. Elaine stood at his side, ready to defend her boy.

They'd garnered the attention of the Shaman, who turned away from Uvenk to study Grunt's face. Much as Wrex had, he inspected him as if trying to weed out some deception. "This is the tankbred? He is very lifelike–" nostrils flared with a deep inhale, "smells correct as well. Your protests ring hollow, Uvenk."

"I don't care what this idiot says," Shepard growled out, lips twisted, and brows drawn down in clear hostility. "Grunt has every right to be here."

"There's some fire, and from an alien too." smirked the Shaman with a snide look to Uvenk. "Oh, the shame that seeps on those who whine like pups."

Whist everyone else found it amusing to hate on Uvenk, Uvenk himself did not. "If this must stand on ritual, then I invoke a denial! My krantt stands against him. He has no one."

The Shaman grumbled, "My patience is tested, but Uvenk invokes correctly. Grunt? Who is your krantt? Your allies willing to kill and die on your behalf?"

Elaine stepped forward, fists clenched. Suddenly, she was back home, in Ferelden, defending her name, Alistair's name, Duncan's name, against those like Ser Landry, who believed Loghain's slander. "We are his krantt. And this one is a fool if he thinks to oppose us. Give us the rite. Name our foe and it shall die."

"Spoken well," proclaimed the Shaman. "Most aliens – and some _Krogan_ – do not understand our ways. I believe this human does."

"Aliens don't know strength!" bit back Uvenk. "My followers are true Krogan. Everything about Grunt is a lie–"

Taking a page out of Wrex's book, Elaine engaged her Berserker and lunged forward. A roar of battle-rage in her throat, she smashed her head into Uvenk's face. She aimed to hit him just below the brow-plate, right on the tip of his nose. It worked, and Uvenk staggered. The impact was also enough to knock the Warden's Berserker down into its pit. Elaine ignored the fact that she suddenly had a splitting headache and was seeing stars.

"You…" Uvenk growled low. "You… _dare?!_ "

It seemed that a fight might've broken out, had the Shaman not suddenly erupted with merry laughter. "Ha! I like this human! She understands!"

"I withdraw my denial." Said Uvenk and glared hard at Elaine. "This will be decided elsewhere…"

He and his followers left, Uvenk deciding to bump his shoulder into Elaine's purposefully as he walked by. Before Elaine could respond, Shepard stuck out his leg to trip Uvenk. The Krogan stumbled, much to the amusement of the other Urdnot Krogan in the vicinity. Elaine looked over at Shepard, brow raised inquisitively. He shrugged as if to say: ' _he started it'_.

"You have provoked them," the Shaman said. "Reason enough for me to like you. They're your problem now."

"Is that Krogan gonna be a problem?" Shepard asked.

"He is forbidden to interfere. Will he? During the Rite of Passage, you must be ready for anything, Shepard. From what you've shown me, you will not disappoint."

"Anyone gonna actually say what a Rite of Passage _is?"_ Garrus asked.

"All you need know is that Grunt will be tested in battle, and you must all adapt. You must thrive no matter the situation. Any true krogan will."

"Elaine? Never sign us up for anything else."

* * *

Blood coated their armour, adrenaline coursed through all of their veins like a sweet drug that both drained them and spurned them on in an addictive cycle. Elaine stood amidst the carnage, her sword's usual blue gleam smothered in gore. Bodies of Varren and overly large fiery insects surrounded her. The others stood not far away, catching their breaths from the fight, their own piles of bodies littering the ground around them. Grunt seemed to be bouncing on the spot with barely contained energy. Elaine had to admit, some part of this was fun. The Krogan had warned them that this would be a brutal test based solely on combat. They had to survive, even when waves of enemies were summoned to challenge them. Though the concept was barbaric, Elaine couldn't help but feel a growing thrill inside her stomach. There was something glorious about this, to be fighting and proving yourself better then your foes, not just for survival, but everything around you demanded it. It reminded her of the Proving-Grounds of the dwarves, when she and her party had caught a glimpse of the arena fights, of the crowd screaming for carnage. They did not participate, because that would've declared them for House Harrowmont, when in actual fact she chose Bhelen to be King – despite her better judgement. So, they'd simply watched and observed. Though on the surface, Elaine had made it clear she did not approve of such savagery, but deep underneath, her warrior's spirit was drawn in to it, eager to know what it felt like to be in that moment.

And now she was here, and she had to admit… a part of her was enjoying this. A large part. She'd heard the booming voice tell the tale of the Krogan people, right before a hammer-blow struck the earth and summoned their foes like a gong. Twice now, they fought, and now the third ring of the hammer-strike had faded away and all four of them stood ready and awaiting their next challenge.

It started at first with a faint rumble like thunder. And the earth began to tremble under their feet. Loose pebbles visibly shook on the ground, the group struggled to keep their balance. Elaine thought perhaps an earthquake had erupted, but her gut told her differently. Shepard and Garrus seemed to share this knowing, worried look, as if they knew exactly what this meant.

And then, just beyond the boundaries of the arena, the earth exploded and out erupted a monster. Worm-like in body, with small insectoid legs twitching on either side of its enormous round length. Two huge, hook-like arms were lifted above its broad flat head, long points ready to spear unsuspecting prey. From a gaping four-cornered mouth, a long bright blue tongue lolled out, the stink of its breath detectable even from this distance. The giant worm shrieked to the heavens, a high-pitched noise that grated down Elaine's ears and scraped her spine. It was gigantic, even just its head and neck where it poked up from a hole in the ground. Was there more of it down beneath the earth? Mountains of snake-like coils under their feet even now?

"Shit! Thresher Maw!" Shepard shouted, and suddenly he was next to Elaine, pushing her down to crouch behind a thick stone slab. Garrus and Grunt followed suit a short distance away. The Warden tried to peak up to see their new foe, but Shepard hurriedly pulled her back down. "Watch out, it spits acid!"

As if summoned by his words, the Thresher Maw convulsed and then spat a glob of liquid in their direction. It missed Shepard's head, and landed with a flat _splat_ on the ground behind them. Elaine watched, wide eyes as the spittle bubbled as if boiling, and began to _eat_ the stone earth. Suddenly, this Thresher-creature was no longer a worm, instead it was a dragon. Tuchanka's own version of a dragon.

And Grunt seemed ecstatic. "Now we have a worthy challenge!"

Shepard's wrist beeped, and he summoned his omnitool to life. Characters glowed before him and he frowned. "Countdown says we gotta survive this for five minutes."

"How're we supposed to do that?!" came Garrus's voice both from a distance and incredibly near over their comm.

"Come on, Garrus," the Commander's tone was trying to be light, but the gravity in his eyes betrayed him. "We took down plenty before."

Garrus wasn't convinced in the slightest. "That was when we had a Mako, a turret and a missile launcher! Not on foot!"

Whilst the men bickered, Elaine's mind focused on the worm-like creature, memory spanning backwards in time to find a fight of similar match. Even as they wasted time, the Thresher Maw hunted them. It knew they were here, it tried to spit at the precious little cover they had, to flush them out so it could devour them. The Warden thought back to her fights with Dragons. She skipped over fighting the Archdemon – that was a different kind of battle, one she did not want to remember at all – and thought back to the High Dragon that guarded the Gauntlet, and then the fight with Flemeth when she transformed into a High Dragon as well. The massive creatures were deadly to the extreme. If you were caught in their fire and did not have the right gear to protect you nor cover to hide behind, you were roasted alive. It you attacked stupidly, you were torn limb from limb by teeth and claws. But all worms have their weak spots, and if you can get their attention distracted at just the right moment…

Her eyes and focused snapped back to the present, and she said aloud: "We can take it down!"

"What?" Shepard looked over sharply at her.

"Is she serious?" asked Garrus sceptically.

"YES!" roared Grunt enthusiastically.

"Not too dissimilar from a High Dragon, I think…" she murmured and gave them a wry shrug. "Just switch the acid for flame."

"Wait, what's a…" Garrus's voice trailed off, and Elaine watched him quickly summon his Omnitool. Was he looking up what a dragon was? Did they not know of them in this world? Apparently, not, because even from this distance, she saw his mandibles drop disbelievingly. "You've gotta be kidding me!"

Ignoring it, Elaine once more put on her cloak-of-authority. "Garrus, stay as far back as you can. Stay in shelter and finds its weak points. The eyes, the throat – shoot it. Keep whittling it down. Shepard? What weapon do you have that does the most damage?"

His eyes narrowed, clearly not liking being ordered around, but he answered her anyway. "I got a new toy from the Illusive Man. Arc Projector."

"I don't know what that is, but you stay back as well and attack for the heart when you get a clear shot."

"Clear shot…?" he frowned.

"Grunt?" Elaine turned and her eyes met her Krogan's. She grinned. "You and I distract its attention. We're going in close."

He beamed.

As one, the pair charged out of their far-off cover, running closer to the Thresher Maw. Grunt held up his shotgun and began shooting off powerful blasts even as he roared. "I. AM. KROGAN!"

The Thresher Maw seemed ready to pounce when powerful shots began to hit it just above the eyes. It flinched, not expecting an attack to such a precarious area. It turned, and tried to find Garrus, burrowing its way through the ground to try and erupt again from a different angle. But it left itself exposed on emerging as Shepard suddenly let of a bolt of lightning that left the loose hairs from Elaine's ponytail stand on end as it shot past her. It struck the Thresher Maw, and the creature spasmed periodically. It was long enough for Grunt and Garrus to get in a few shots. By the time the creature recovered, Shepard let off another attack.

Roaring in fury, the Thresher Maw lashed out at them. Its huge arms tried to crush them underneath the environment it tried to flatten, but the party moved quickly to find new cover. Elaine rolled out of the way as a glob of acid came perilously too close. She sprinted towards it, striking her sword against her shield in order to make loud _clanging_ noises that drew the monster's attention. It opened its four-pointed mouth wide with an ear-bursting shriek and dove for her. As if the thing moved at the slowest pace, Elaine waited until the last moment and then threw herself aside so that the head came right past her. Before the insect-like arms could spear her, she leapt back towards the creature, and all at once she was straddling its neck. Sensing her there, it tried to throw her off. Starfang raised high, Elaine drove the sword down into the Thresher's eye, bursting it with a fountain of blood and piercing the matter underneath. Writhing, the Thresher desperately tried to throw her away.

Down below, Shepard and Garrus stared, terrified, as they watched their friend up above. They could not fire with her there, even though Grunt continued to fire at the worm's unprotected belly. Elaine ignored them. Just as she predicted, like a High Dragon, the Thresher tried to buck her off, and it did. She flew upwards in the air, spinning, ass over tit. Through the sickening spin, she managed to catch a glimpse of the massive Thresher Maw she was falling towards. Her sword stuck out, and buried itself in the top of the Thresher's head, and it was enough for her to gain purchase and scramble back into place. With all her strength, she slashed her sword into the Thresher's head. Weakly, the Thresher Maw sagged, still screeching from its pain. Taking her chances, Elaine sensed when the Thresher Maw came as close to the ground as it would go, and leapt free. On the landing, her knees buckled and she twisted into a roll. She lay on the floor, bruised but alive.

"I've got one more shot!" she heard Shepard a few minutes later one her senses had recovered. "The thing's failing, I'm taking the–"

"No." she said. Shepard and Garrus looked to her, as if surprised to see her alive. "This is Grunt's Rite. Let him be the one."

As if he heard her, Grunt charged for the Thresher Maw, the monster now seemingly on its last legs. It tried to snatch him up in its jaws in one last act of defiance. With a sadistic grin, Grunt waited for it to come close. As the thing opened its mouth to swallow him whole, Grunt unleashed a barrage of fire into its waiting gullet. With one last wet gurgle, splattering blood and innards all over the young Krogan, the Thresher Maw slumped, and died.

It seemed to take a moment for the reality to sink in. Then the group were almost spent themselves. Garrus was particularly out of breath, though whether from the fight, or the astonishment on his face, was a mystery. "Spirits… that actually worked…"

"Ye of little faith," Elaine grinned tiredly from where she still laid on the ground.

She could hear Grunt cheering himself and dancing around in the remains of his kill. Elaine smiled to herself. Today had been a good day after all. But then, something just _had_ to spoil her mood, because the Maker has a wicked sense of humour. A ship passed overhead. It wasn't the shuttle, nor did it look anything like the vehicles they'd seen at the Urdnot camp.

Grunt eyed the incoming ship as it landed a small ways off. Already, he was growling with anticipation. "We have company. Good. I want more."

Garrus held out his hand to help Elaine up, and she graciously took it. Though tired from the fight (and wishing desperately for a stamina draught), Elaine and the others followed Grunt as he went to greet their new visitors. The belly of the ship yawned open, and out stepped Gatatog Uvenk. An entourage of Krogan in full armour wielding a host of guns came out behind him, and Elaine's grip on her sword tightened. A sense of dread prickled at her stomach. She suddenly felt too exposed as Uvenk and his Krogan began to occupy the only cover available at this part of the arena.

Uvenk paced before them like a wolf assessing the prey, his eyes calculating. "You live, and you brought down a Thesher Maw… No one has done that in generations. Urdnot Wrex was the last."

"My krantt gave me strength beyond my genes," declared Grunt proudly. "Which are damned good."

"This will cause discussion." Said Uvenk, and he marched right up to Grunt, eyes narrowed. "I wonder… you say you are pure? No alien meddling in your construction? Just the warlord Okeer?"

Shepard seemed to also sense that something was wrong. His tone was scathing when he spoke. "You're stumbling, Uvenk. What's your game?"

"Grunt will command much respect now. His strength may be artificial, but it is a tolerable loophole."

"A what?" Grunt snapped.

"A reason to accept you. You are a mistake, but your potential could tip the current balance of the clans."

"You spit on my father's name! On Shepard's name! And now you stop ranting because I am strong?!"

Uvenk sneered. "With restrictions. You could not breed, of course. Or serve on an alien ship. But you'd be clan in name."

"That doesn't sound like much of an offer at all." Elaine spat, incredulity dripping from her tongue like the acid of the Thresher Maw. "You talk of him as if he is an object, a thing for you to gain power without earning it. You don't want him in your clan at all."

"Of course not!" Uvenk declared fiercely. "I did not want to cooperate with Clan Urdnot either, but I had to. Clan Gatatog is on the verge – either of greatness or of joining the dust. I get traditionalist support if I fight you, and reformer support if I back you. Your Rite of Passage tipped that balance, too."

"You lack all honour." She growled. "You are no warrior. You are a snake."

Shepard smirked evilly. "And if I know Grunt, your answer's coming at muzzle velocity."

Grunt grinned. "You do know Grunt! This Varren is dead." And with that, the young male charged and tackled Uvenk to the ground and began to smash his fist into the older Krogan's face repeatedly and without mercy.

Shepard, Elaine and Garrus ducked behind what little cover the could find as Uvenk's guards opened fire. Garrus muttered under his breath. "It's never easy, is it…"

* * *

The group didn't know what kind of reaction they were expecting from the Krogan upon their return to Urdnot's camp. But it certainly wasn't what they got. Word must've spread fast on Grunt's successful Rite, and it appeared that Uvenk wasn't lying when he proclaimed that killing a Thresher Maw was such an impressive rarity that Wrex had been the last one to do it. When they came into the camp, warriors, scouts, guards and even the mercenaries that had been at the entrance came in to get a glimpse of Grunt. They cheered boisterously, and some even roared approval when they heard about Uvenk's death. Apparently, he hadn't been very popular in the Urdnot camp.

Grunt seemed to enjoy the attention, the acceptance his new brothers gave him. He cheered and roared and regaled them with the story of his battle with the Thresher Maw. There was mention of roasting the Thresher meat for a feast, and the young Krogan seemed all too eager to join in. Garrus however, was so tired down to his bones, he couldn't wait to get back onto the Normandy and get in the shower… and then a nap on his bunk… maybe even squeeze in an hour or two for calibrations… mmmm…

Shepard seemed ready to leave as well. "Alright Joker, send the shuttle back in with Mordin."

 _'_ _Uh, no can do, Commander.'_ Came the pilot's nervous reply. _'_ _Scans are picking up a bad storm coming down in your area.'_

"Can't you just fly through it? Isn't that what Cerberus paid top of the line for?" Shepard frowned impatiently.

 _'_ _The Shuttles are designed to withstand any form of normal weather patterns, Shepard,'_ said EDI. _'_ _However, Tuchanka suffers from uniquely violent storms.'_

 _'_ _Because, you know, leave it to the Krogan to have the ultra-violent-flavour…'_

 _'_ _It is also a standard procedure for the clans to seal themselves in their camps to wait out the storm. The hatch with which the shuttle will land and take off will be closed. I recommend postponing the mission until the morning when the storm clears.'_

Garrus felt his shoulders slump. Well, so much for his relaxing evening…

It appeared that Wrex had been listening in, or at least could guess their predicament as he lumbered towards them, amusement in his gaze. "Looks like you're stuck here, Shepard,"

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know." The commander muttered.

"Well, it's like your friend said, Shepard," Wrex grinned. "After battle, comes glory. You and your crew have garnered quite a following. You killed a Thresher Maw – but I guess that's what it takes to replace me. And you killed Uvenk. That pyjak was always a pain in the ass for everyone. You'll stay as honoured guests of my Clan. We'll drink and celebrate the boy's coming of age."

With no choice, and nothing better to do, the Normandy squad stayed behind for the festivities. If you could call the Krogan version of it 'festivities'. In almost no time at all, the Krogan had gathered scrap materials from the outskirts around their camp before the storm hit, and built an enormous bonfire in the centre of camp. On it, they skewered and roasted piles on piles of Thresher meat that the scouts had brought back with them from the Rite arena. Garrus had politely declined when it was offered – not that he was offered much. Though association with Shepard, and then fighting in the Rite with Grunt, had earned him some begrudging respect, it seemed that the Krogan were not going to let their hatred of his species go so lightly. He was lucky to be ignored for the most part. Oh well, going hungry for one night was nothing new to him, he'd had to do it plenty of times when things had gotten periodically rough on Omega.

Bottles of Ryncol were passed around amongst the Krogan, and Shepard and Garrus kept a wary eye in order to decline when it came round. Wrex sat in a place of honour, on the largest seat around the roaring fire. Shepard sat beside him, as the honoured guest, with Garrus next to him. Elaine was on Garrus's other side, and Grunt next to her. The pair were very enthusiastic about enjoying every aspect of the celebration. Elaine even animatedly partook in ripping into her portion of Thresher meat, holding it in her hands and using her teeth to wrench and rip like an animal, much to the approval of the Krogans watching her. Garrus had to admit that he was surprised by how Elaine had seemed to take to the Krogan way of life so quickly. Something inside her, as she sat in front of the fire, the golden glow casting flickering shadows across her strong jaw and cheeks and long neck, seemed to embrace this warrior mentality of the Krogans. It was almost like she'd stepped into another time, like she'd gone back to the world she'd once described to him. It made her smile wider, her laugh more bursting from her lungs, her eyes more filled with fire. She was lost, completely unaware of her crewmates to her right as she kept her focus on the other Krogans.

At some point in the evening, the Urdnot clan began to tell stories. First it was the Shaman, who began with tales of battle and glory from the Krogan past. Grunt seemed enraptured, and others of the clan took it as invitation to boast of their ancestor's accomplishments proudly. Wrex then told the story of how he and Shepard had fought side by side to fight against the old Krogan enemy again, the Rachni, and how he'd helped in killing the very last Rachni Queen. Many Krogans seemed impressed with that particular story. Of course, this got them all reminiscing about the 'glory-days' of their people, when they fought in the Rachni Wars. Another Krogan, with a nasty look at Garrus, told the story of how his father had fought in the Rebellions and killed a particular Turian general. Garrus decided to just stay quiet and not take the obvious bait.

And then, from some vague place across the fire, shrouded from sight by the flames, came a call: "Shepard tell one!"

Shepard looked just as startled as Garrus felt. From his experience with Krogan, drawing attention to yourself was never a good thing. And besides, if they wanted Shepard to tell a story, there were very few that didn't involve killing Krogans in some capacity. But once one of them started, the others took up the chant, an undeniable summoning that even Elaine joined as they chanted the Commander's name.

"Alright, alright," Shepard finally called out and waved for silence. His eyes were wary, his jaw clenching as he thought quickly. "You wanna hear about the time I took down a Batarian terrorist group?"

The Krogans cheered. Despite being as outcast from the Council as the Batarians, the Krogans (and most other species) didn't like Batarians all that much.

"Okay, this Batarian scum, called himself Balak, took control of an asteroid and were going to smash it into a human colony, Terra Nova." Said Shepard. From the other side of Wrex, the Shaman grumbled how that was a _good_ plan, recalling when the Krogans themselves had done the same thing to the Turians. Again, Garrus bit his tongue and let Shepard continue. "I had to lead my squad covertly across the asteroid, just us making our way from torch to torch, trying to switch them off and slaughter all the Batarians we found. The bastards want to mess with humans? He's gonna have to deal with me first. I cornered Balak, he tried to make me back down with the threat of a bomb. I wasn't gonna accept that. I shot him down for what he did. The idiot tried to rant at me even when I had my gun pressed against his temple. 'We have thousands of warriors ready to die for the cause,' he told me. So I shot him and said 'Then die already'."

The crowd rumbled in approval at that. Garrus couldn't help his smirk. He'd been with Shepard on that mission. It had been a joy to watch that Batarian menace squirm. Garrus had later lamented the loss of the human workers on the asteroid that had been taken in the blast of the bomb Balak had set. But Shepard was resolute in his convictions. To him, it was a far worse crime to let the Terrorist go and kill _more_ people later where they might not have the opportunity to stop him as they did at Terra Nova. It was a lesson Garrus had taken to heart – never let the prey slip when he's in your sights.

"Your turn!" suddenly a Krogan shouted and pointed in the general direction of the aliens, his Ryncol sloshing with his movements.

"Which one?" Garrus mumbled.

Grunt cackled and bumped Elaine with his elbow. Which, actually, wasn't so much of a bump as it was a full hit from the unchecked force in Grunt's blow. "Yeah! Elaine, tell us a true warrior's story!"

The woman seemed to blanch and hastily held up a hand to ward them off. "What? No. I don't think–"

"Come on, give us a story!"

"They won't stop until you give them what they want," Garrus murmured in her ear. "Might as well go along with it."

"Your first great kill," suggested Wrex when it seemed Elaine was stuck. He leaned in his seat towards her, red eyes almost aglow in the firelight. "Your own Rite of Passage. That is something no warrior forgets."

The plates along Garrus's back tightened with apprehension. If he knew Elaine, he knew the moment her innocent days ended in bloody battle – the night she lost her family. She'd been distraught to tell the tale to him, he was ready to excuse her from having to retell it again to complete strangers. Her brows were pulled together, her voice quiet.

Garrus reached out a hand to place on her shoulder, a comradery sign of support. And then she surprised him when she spoke. "I don't think I'll ever forget the first time I ever killed an Ogre." She finally looked up, icy blue eyes meeting her audience warily. She was unsure if she should tell this story, for reasons Garrus was unaware of. But she continued, and started to make gestures when she realised her audience didn't quite understand what she meant by the name _ogre_. "Big monsters. They stand well over ten feet tall, with long curling horns. They're strong, quick and cruel. Myself and my fellow Grey Warden, Alistair, we were told to hold position inside a tower during the Battle of Ostagar. But when we arrived, the enemy – the Darkspawn – had overrun the tower. We had to fight our way to the very top. And there we found a single Ogre, feasting on the bodies of the soldiers it had fought. It was brutal. You couldn't flank it, because it would just smack its huge fists into you. You couldn't get out of range, because then it would just charge right at us and spear us with its horns. The only course of action was to get in close, a gamble, to strike and move before it could pick us up and crush us in its fists."

Their imaginations must be running wild, as the Krogans were listening avidly. One leaned forward, eager. "How did you kill it?"

"Alistair distracted it. He drew its attention just long enough, and then I charged at it – full force. I jumped and hit it with my shield and made it stagger. My sword plunged into its chest to hook me in place. We wrestled to the ground, and just when it tried to throw me off, I reached back my sword and stabbed its skull – right between the eyes!"

Her story ended with so much vigor, the Krogans were hooked under her spell and applauded and cheered loudly as if they could see the battle themselves. Even Garrus was starting to think she was a good storyteller. With their congratulations and budding questions about the particulars of the fight, Elaine grinned at how her audience had so enjoyed her.

"You gotta admit, she knows how to work the crowd." Garrus leaned towards Shepard and murmured to him so that only he could hear. "You believe any of this, Shepard?"

"Lately? More and more…" The Commander whispered. That made Garrus frown. Twisting in his seat, he looked Shepard dead in the eye, his gaze alone demanding clarification. Rubbing his temples, Shepard sighed. He kept his voice low to be sure they wouldn't be overheard. "Samara mind melded with her, looked through her memories. She saw things that looks like it's true…"

"Couldn't it be manufactured?"

"Don't know." He shrugged. "And the fact more things come up to say Elaine's right scares the crap outta me."

Well, Garrus thought with a gulp, wasn't that something to think over?

"Well, look at this!" Wrex's voice boomed out with a sonorous laugh. He held up a datapad, a list seeming to be compiled on it. "Looks like our newest Clan-brother has gotten himself some mating requests!"

Grunt and several Krogans around him roared proudly, a grin was practically plastered on the adolescent Krogan's face as he shouted. "I am pure Krogan!"

"And it looks like his human friend has got a few too," murmured Wrex with a still amused smirk, his eyes sliding towards Elaine.

It took her a second to process what had just been said. And then she spluttered, face going pale. "Wait, me?!"

"Drink, human." Laughed a krogan who passed a bottle down the line in her direction. "Aliens need it to stomach a true Krogan male! Ha-ha!"

Grunt snickered with the others as he nonchalantly passed the bottle to Elaine. She either wasn't really paying attention or didn't think much of it as she took the beverage from him. She still looked shell shocked at the announcement. Distractedly, she tipped the bottle to her lips and –

"No, Elaine!" Garrus and Shepard simultaneously shouted in panic. "Wait! Don't drink that–!"

Being closer, Garrus was the first one to reach over knock the drink out of her hands. It sailed over Krogan heads and smashed somewhere on the ground somewhere far away. Some of them laughed at their antics. Leaping up from their seats, Garrus and Shepard ignored them as they came in front of the golden-haired lady. She frowned at them. The Turian felt his stomach sink with dread. He'd thought he'd been fast enough, but Elaine must've gotten at least a sip of the volatile substance, as a small green droplet of it dribbled from the corner of her mouth.

Almost the instant it hit her stomach, Elaine's eyes began to grow unfocused, her skin going a waxy pale. She became unbalanced and swayed where she sat. "Hey… why did you…?"

Shepard cursed. "That was Ryncol, you stupid son of a–"

In a rush, Elaine threw herself forward, her hands going to her stomach as her face scrunched up in pain. "Urgh, I don't feel so good…"

"Heart rate's rising, but it doesn't look like she took enough to be fatal," Garrus told his commander as his visor note of all Elaine's vitals. Shit. What were they going to do if she needed a medbay? They were grounded because of the storm! "We should let her lie down."

Wrex seemed to find this hilarious. "Haha! I'll have someone show you to your quarters,"

With a gesture from his leader, a scout or guard, or someone, stood up and began to lead the way towards the back of the encampment. Shepard and Garrus manoeuvred Elaine so that they shared her weight, her arms draped across each of their shoulders, with her hanging between them. Sharing her weight meant it didn't put much strain on either of them as they hurriedly began to follow their guide to where they were assigned to sleep. Grunt didn't follow them, enjoying himself too much. Apparently, they were going to leave him to his party.

They moved to the back of the camp, towards the stairs that would lead to the upper level. Through the hole in the roof of the camp, Garrus spotted the raging winds and storms high above, unable to touch their sheltered spot. Even though it was the dark of night, Garrus could feel the pulsing heat from the maelstrom that ravaged and raged outside. He shivered, almost glad Shepard hadn't insisted they brave it to return to the Normandy.

Between them, Elaine was groaning, her head rolling back and forth with the motion of their footsteps. Then a giggle started to trickle out from her. Garrus blinked. "I'm surprised she's even breathing…"

Rolling back her head, Elaine grinned from ear to ear, eyes half closed. "You guys are soooooo wovwee!"

"I'm surprised she's even _conscious_ ," Shepard grunted.

"You're my fwends!" A frown creased her face a moment. "I mean, err, Ali-Alisterrrrr… he-HE was my bestest-best-best fwend – EVER! But I wove you two toooooooooo!"

"That's great, Elaine," Shepard muttered impatiently as they went towards the back of the upper-level and moved along an old concrete corridor.

"You don't wove me, Sheperrrrrrrd," she growled out his name, and then turned to Garrus with a sing-song voice. "But Gawus woves me!"

"Err, what?"

"Alist-st-er, he's my bestest-best-best fwend, but you – you're my best-bestest fwend. TWO-times bestest!" Suddenly, she pulled her arm free of Shepard, and hung completely off of Garrus limply. She held up three fingers to demonstrate, then looked at them in concentration, and deliberately tried to push down just one in order to hold up two. "You can be my fwend too, Sheperrrrrd. But you need to be nice!"

With a roll of his eyes, Shepard took back her arm and slung it over his shoulders once more. "I'm taking you to bed, Elaine."

"Yeah…" she trailed off, and then broke out into a beam. "Ah! That means you wove me!"

Their guide stopped short at a crumbled opening in the concrete. Shepard nodded his thanks, and the guide left them to it. Garrus supressed a growl, because of course the Krogan wouldn't offer to stay behind and check the clearly intoxicated _alien_ was alright. Shepard and Garrus dragged Elaine into their accommodations. If you could call it that. They'd been given a small square concrete room that might've once been a bunker, or snipers nest, or something. A small rectangular window was cut into the concrete wall and allowed those inside to view the camp below without obstructions. A good chunk of the window-ledge had been smashed off and lay on the floor. There was no cots or other provisions. Merely sleeping bags piled in one corner. Considering that none of them were out of their armour yet, Garrus assumed they'd be using the bags more for comfy pillows than for warmth.

He and Shepard set Elaine down as gently as they could close to the left-hand wall, arranging her sleeping bag to support her head and neck comfortably. Yet still, she groaned. "Ooooh… I don't feel… I don't…"

"Close your eyes, relax, it'll stop the spinning." Garrus murmured and moved a loose hair out of her face. Shepard eyes him quizzically, and the Turian shrugged. "One of my squad took Rynol on a dare. We were cleaning up after him for hours. I wasn't impressed when I found out."

"We'll let her get some sleep." Shepard whispered, and the pair of them quietly stood and moved away.

Instantly, Elaine was sat up and reaching for both of them, a dizzy yet panicked expression in her gaze. "No-no! Where're you going?!"

"It's okay, Elaine, we're just going to go over here, you can sleep–"

"But I want you-two here wiv me, don't leeeeeeeeeeeave me…" she whined.

"That's okay, we won't leave," Garrus as always tried to play compromise. "We'll just sleep over there, so you can have your space."

"No–itz okay, come sleep wiv me. I want you to!" as if to emphasise the point, she patted the floor next to her, a lopsided smile on her face.

"Well… um," Garrus looked at Shepard, helpless.

"Don't you like me?" she looked hurt. "You don't sleeeeep wiv women?"

"No, I mean I do sleep with… I sleep with… err, haha…" the double entendre in her words had him stuttering and snickering and backtracking all at once. "Look, it's okay. You got your space, we've got ours. Just go to sleep."

Shepard decided that _that_ moment was a great time to contradict him, and slumped to the floor on the far side of Elaine with a sigh. "Come on, Vakarian, she's not gonna leave us alone. You might as well give in."

"See! Shep wovs me!" Elaine cried out happily and threw her arms around the human's neck. As if a thought had physically struck her, she recoiled, and looked down at Shepard with huge eyes, her head lolling uncontrollably. "Sheparrrrd! Do we gotta be married in vis world to sleep wiv himmmm? Like back home?"

"Errr, I don't think so, Elaine." Shepard's lips twitched as his eyes flickered to Garrus, barely suppressing a smile. "Besides, Turians don't marry."

"Oh?" she spun to look at Garrus, her own hair whipping her in the face. "What you do then?"

"Uh, well, um..." his talons itched, and his mandibles clicked against his face nervously. "Turians take bondmates. For life, once we find them, that is."

Shepard frowned. "I didn't think it was for life. We've seen plenty of Turians having mistresses and such."

"Well, it's not that way all the time." Garrus shrugged nonchalantly. Why on earth was Shepard pressing this issue? Why did it matter? Wasn't it more important to get Elaine settled and get out of here? "Back in the old days, you'd vow to one partner for life when you found the right one. Turians like to screw everything they can when we're young, but find that golden ticket and _BALM,_ mate for life…"

"Great!" Apparently, Garrus had wandered too close, because Elaine shot up with a bright cheer and her hands took hold of Garrus's and insistently pulled him down. "So, you come sweep here wiv me, and we can be _bondmates_ –"

"Oh, for spirits sake!" he growled and threw up his hands in the air. "Fine! I'll sleep with you! Just stop talking."

He settled in on her other side, and held back a groan as Elaine almost tackled him to the floor, her arms wrapping around his body like a child with a stuffed-toy. Shepard's deep rumbling chuckle echoed around the room, the laughter Garrus recognised from back on the SR1. "You should've given in earlier. Would've been less entertaining for me, though."

"Oh, I'm sure it's _hilarious_." The turian snapped.

"See guys? This is niiiiiiice…" Elaine purred sleepily as she wrapped her arms around both men on either side of her. "What did Zev call it? A freeway wiv my two fav boiiiis!"

Silence. Garrus leaned up and pointed a warning talon at Shepard. "Not a word of this gets out to the others."

Shepard's grin gleamed in the dark. "I am not responsible for what my omnitool does or does not record…"

"… Oh shit."

* * *

 **A/N: A massive thank-you to all the support I got from last chapter! I love all your feedback guys, and to new readers catching up, I hope you are enjoying and I hope you leave me a little message to help out the story. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I did writing it. This last section actually underwent a couple of rewrites, because I first of all tried to play it serious, with Elaine not completely inebriated off of a sip of Ryncol (and yes, she only got a sip. I think the reason she wasn't puking her guts up is because old Oghren managed to get her a little tolerant to extreme alcohol). But then I decided to think 'F*ck it' and played along with the fun. I think I like this version a lot better.**

 **But let me know what you think? Please! I crave reviews!**

 **I thought this would be a good point to end this chapter over the Christmas period. I want to update some of my other neglected stories over the December month. So if I can do that and keep up with my usual Monday schedule for Gravity, then great! If not, I'll definitely be seeing you all in January! xxx**


	17. The Nightmare

_The mist shrouded nearly everything from sight. She could hardly see the crumbling earth with which she stood on, or what next lay in store upon this desolate landscape. But she knew she was in the Fade, her mind more able to comprehend the green tinged sky and the floating dark mass that lay like an island some miles away on an invisible ocean. As when she had gazed upon the Black City in the Fade before, she was wracked with shivers as ancient whispers spoke in her mind of an inborn instinct to flee from its very sight – run from the unseen danger that lurked there._

 _The recurring nightmares she'd suffered with these past few weeks had always been rather indistinct aside from the very first she'd had. Blurred, as if spied through the smeared lens of a spyglass. Made more from impressions and feelings than actual visions. But this was as clear as if she walked the Fade with her real feet. And all it did was fill her with a sense of terrible fear._

 _Music, both hauntingly beautiful and dreadfully agonising trickled into her mind. It buzzed in the back of her skull, and slowly grew into a crescendo until it was all she could hear._

 _A wind smacked into her back, starting her into turning, even though she knew she mustn't. Terrible jaws awaited within inches of her face just behind her! She screamed and stumbled back, away from those jagged fangs as long as her forearms. The horrid gaping mouth did not follow her. It snapped and stretched to try and reach her, but never came forward any further. The horrible face of the Archdemon snarled down at her, its horns and teeth slicing into its own flesh whenever it managed to catch itself when it shook its huge head. The ancient dragon tried to pull its long serpentine neck forward, swaying left and right like a snake to a charmer's tune, all in an attempt to work its way free._

 _At the base of its neck, at its wrists, hips and ankles, gigantic shackles chained the monstrosity in place, the short heavy links bolted into the floor. Hung around it, golden needles lay in waiting to puncture the foul skin. The only thing free was the Archdemon's spiked tail and ragged black wings. Both whipped about madly, banishing the mist surrounding it and seemingly conjuring it in equal measure. Like a wild animal, the Archdemon thrashed and pulled at its restraints. But no animal could hold such hate and fury in those deathly milky eyes._

 _She tried to get away, to scramble to her feet and flee before this monster could break free swallow her into its foulness. But her legs wouldn't move. With horror, she realised that her own legs had been chained to the ground. Her hands reached to try to pull herself free, but the shackles had captured her wrists as well. She lay upon the ground, a sacrificial lamb before the bloodthirsty lion._

 _The Archdemon roared, the sound so loud and devastating that she had to scream at the assault on her ears. If it were possible, the music that thrummed through her skull intensified, adding its own deafening cacophony. The ground trembled as the Archdemon pulled and pulled on the chains. The earth around the shackles began to crack and threatened to break – but miraculously they held._

 _And then the Old God focused its eyes upon the woman before it, and she was frozen in place, captured by that stare. Every muscle was taunt, every limb aquiver with trapped nerves, her organs trembling with fear. Her heart raced faster and faster, unable to quieten as that head suddenly drew perilously close. The stench of corruption that permeated the very air around the beast turned her flesh black and putrid._

 _It screeched in her face, another ear-splitting sound that threatened to drive her to the point of insanity. And then her mind must have been broken. For through the Archdemon's screams in her ears, and its awful music that plagued her mind, two words began to manifest and echo through her soul. She felt them vibrate through her breastbone and resound throughout her chest. It was less of a hearing them and more of understanding, of FEELING the words as they repeated to her over and over._

 _"_ _ **Release us…**_ _"_ _it whispered, growing steadily louder until she was screaming it with the beast before her. "_ _ **Release us! RELEASE US!**_ _"_

Elaine shot up, sucking in lungful's of air as her eyes shot wide open. Sweat poured profusely from every inch of her skin, leaving her both boiling but shivering as she looked all about her. Distracted, her mind took several long seconds to process her surroundings. Dark stone walls surrounded her, dark shadows concealing almost everything from view. The only light came from an opening in the wall that might've been a window or a door, allowing silver moonlight to offer the faintest of illumination. The Warden recognised none of this. Where was she? A prison cell? Her panic began to fester as she scrambled about to get up. She was still in her armour, and it hampered her movements slightly. Her hand smacked into something next to her. She yelped and snatched it back, looking down wildly.

She could barely make it out, but she had the distinct impression that the shape of a body lay next to her. She paled. No! Did she kill someone?! She tried to recall the last thing to happen to her before the dream. But it was all a hazy mess that only caused her brain to ache. Straining her eyes, she finally managed to make out a blue colour… Garrus?

On closer inspection, she realised it was. The Turian was laying right beside where she had been. But why? Looking onto her other side, she saw that Shepard was sound asleep next to her as well. Though this calmed her a little, the confusion only helped to disorientate the Warden further. She needed to air. A headache she recognised as being associated with alcohol was beginning to make itself painfully aware across her skull. Muttering to herself, Elaine attempted to get up as quietly as possible and extract herself from her sleeping-companions. What on earth could come over the pair of them to be so presumptuous as to sleep beside her uninvited?

The night was cool, she could feel that, but her armour felt too tight, restrictive, and the sense of being overheated was growing. In a corner of the room, she hastily threw off the pieces of armour and left them where they laid. Only when she was left in the black skin tight under-armour these people liked to wear, did she finally stumble out of the room. She needed to walk, to get some fresh air, to shake off her anxiousness presented to her by the dream.

The dream – the nightmare.

Memories of it rushed through her brain and the Grey Warden had to stop and brace herself against the wall to prevent herself from dissolving into a fit of pure panic. She'd not had a nightmare that vivid since after the Collector Ship. She'd had similar nightmares and restless nights, yes, but nothing as vivid or intense as that. Nausea threatened to choke her as the implications of the dream made themselves known to her.

The Archdemon _TALKED_! It talked to her! Alistair had once explained that Archdemons spoke with the Darkspawn horde in its own foul way, and that some senior Wardens eventually learned to understand it as the taint in them became more developed. But Elaine had never understood the Archdemon Urthemiel, when she'd seen him in dreams during the Blight, it had always been roars and other beastly sounds. But this time, she'd heard the Archdemon speak! But she hadn't been a Warden for very long, what was it now, just over a year since she'd completed her joining? There was the theory that sometimes a Blight accelerated the cycle of the taint in the Wardens… but surely not that much!

She walked on, feet shuffling along the rough ground. She cared not where she went, it didn't matter. Her lips felt cracked and dry, her stomach felt like she'd been punched so many times it was bleeding internally, her headache was now an almost constant painful pounding. Blonde hair swept either side of her face, and she let it.

What if she was going mad? Was that possible? What if everything she'd been through, with the Blight, with dying, waking up here, what if it had all tipped her over the edge? Were these visions just proof of an unstable mind? Or perhaps Shepard was right, and she was just a very disturbed individual from this timeline that had conjured a fantasy to explain away her broken consciousness. No, that couldn't be true! She had enough scars laced across her skin as proof for the memories she knew in her heart to be very real. And then another, far more terrifying thought occurred to her. What if she was… possessed?

Possession frightened her far more than the thought of insanity. She'd seen enough abominations, killed enough demon-crazed lunatics that she had ever right to be scared by the prospect. Her mind attempt to rationalise everything, to sort through proof that would show her she wasn't possessed. Had she ever heard of a demon taking on the form of another? Why would a demon haunt her with visions of the Archdemon if it could already get inside her mind – there would be no need for subterfuge.

A memory of Morrigan resurfaced, and the pain of her betrayal came with it. The Witch spoke of allowing the Archdemon to live outside of the Darkspawn. But that was impossible! Elaine had refused the Dark Ritual, she'd wanted no part of it, hurt and grieving as she was over the backstabbing done by one of her best friends. Elaine and Morrigan had first been at odds with each other, but the Warden had been determined to peel back the layers, to find the real woman underneath. Over the course of their journey, they'd become friends, and even as Morrigan once stated: they were like sisters.

 _"_ _I want you to remember that I will always value your friendship… even if I might not always be worthy of it."_

Elaine snorted, blinking back tears. Unworthy indeed! A true friend would not plot and scheme behind her back the entire time they were supposedly 'friends'. A true friend would not keep secret the truth of how Elaine was supposed to die, and would then bargain it away. A true friend would never sell their most treasured sisterhood, all for the sake of dark power she could not hope to comprehend – and the price of betraying everything they stood for! Elaine had known Alistair would hate her just as he hated Morrigan if she forced him to become the Witch's sex-slave for a chance of salvation. So Elaine, in tears, had refused Morrigan's ritual, and banished the woman from her company forever, with the promise of great vengeance should she dare show her face again.

 _"_ _Get out! Get away from me, WITCH! Take your filthy-whoring-ritual and flee from me this instant! Leave, and don't you dare come back – or I'll run you through as I should've done from the beginning, Apostate!"_

So many foul words said in anger and grief. And when it was done, Elaine had been left alone all night with her worries and her tears. And come the morning, they'd rode into battle. They'd beaten the Archdemon. Elaine made the sacrifice. She'd taken the soul of Urthemiel into her own body, and they'd both been destroyed because of it.

Only… Elaine was not destroyed. Here she stood, breathing and very much alive, her own soul intact. She was supposed to die with Urthemiel, yet hadn't. Could that mean Urthemiel lived within her? Was she possessed by the creature she loathed and feared most in all the world?!

Rounding a corner, she came to the main complex of the camp, now deserted in the dark hours of the night. In one far flung corner of the camp was a stone well filled with dirty water. Perhaps it was not meant for drinking, but Elaine didn't intend to use it for that. Her piss-inducing scattered thoughts had left her truly shaken to the core. And her headache was almost unbearable. Lurching towards it, the Warden thrust her hands into the trough, and splashed the stinking cold wetness into her face. It stung, but the moisture was a welcomed relief. Several times she did this, even wetting her hand and patting it around the back of her neck in an attempt to wash away the lingering sticky sweat.

Stooped over the water, she gazed into the depths as they rippled and twisted. Slowly, the waters calmed, fragmented pieces, like that of a broken mirror, coming back together to make its reflection whole once more.

Where her face should've been in the water, a disgusting visage of the Archdemon glared back at her.

Elaine smashed her hand into the water with a scream of fright, splashing it away and unto the ground. Stumbling backwards, she attempted to flee, to get away from something so horrible! Her back hit something and she whirled around, fists raised, teeth bared, sanity gone from her as she attempted to fight her way free of this madness!

Bruising force took hold of her wrists and stopped her in her tracks. Blinking away her illusions, Elaine was brought to a halt, snapped out of her day-dream, to look up into the face of a Krogan. It was not Grunt, nor any other Krogan she recognised. His faceplate was brown-gold, his eyes grey as the stone they stood upon. Though no scars marked what little skin she could see, the skin around his mouth and eyes looked particularly haggard. The Krogan watched her with a guarded, narrowed look, as if he were trying to decipher some puzzle. He must've thought her a madwoman.

Shame made her duck her gaze. "My apologies, Ser, I… I have wandered from bed. I am not myself."

That stare was unrelenting. "You are with Commander Shepard?" asked the Krogan in a deep voice characteristic of his people, yet somehow sounded very polite and well mannered.

He was so well mannered, he reminded her of scheming Banns trying to subtly manipulate their way across the board. It confused her enough to answer with a slight stutter. "I am, yes. I am Elaine Cousland."

"You're not like any human I've seen."

"I would suppose there are not many humans like me. Not anymore…" her voice tailed off as memories of all the people she'd left behind surfaced. She'd known she was alone in this strange world, but the weight of that revelation only now seemed to settle over her. There were no other Grey Wardens, no friends, no family, not even a speck of her nation for her to remember. Only her old fears stayed with her now. Tears stung her eyes and she chose to walk away rather than face them. "Excuse me, I am unwell and wish to retire."

His stubby hand snatched hold of her arm before she could leave. The Warden snapped her fierce icy gaze on him at such an outrage, but he ignored her. The Krogan leaned closer into her space, that narrowed stared always studying, devising. "Where are you from? One of the outer colonies?"

"My home is long since gone and forgotten." Her words were a clipped hiss. "Now if you could please take your hand–"

"But where?"

"Take your hand off me."

Her shortening temper garnered her a disapproving glare, like an adult scolding a child. "I don't think you understand, human. I only want the truth. I have an employer who deals in truths like this. He'd be willing to pay you a substantial amount for that truth."

"No, it is _you_ who does not understand. Get your hand off of me, or I'll make it."

His fingers gave her a sharp squeeze. "I suggest you comply, human. Neither myself or my employer are known for our patience."

Elaine snapped her legs straight and jumped upwards. The move was so unexpected that the Krogan was caught off guard. He'd expected her to pull or move back, but not go _up_! Her other fist swung overhead, and as she forced her body weight forward, the Warden smashed her fist downward to catch her new enemy right in his left eye. The Krogan staggered back, releasing her. But Elaine wasn't done. There was a savage anger coursing through her veins now. Something dark and venomous that made her temper flare ever bright the longer it remained in her system. Not even on her worst night could she be afforded peace? Trouble just had to find her! Well, trouble was going to learn what a horrid mistake that was. She followed up the punch by kicking the Krogan in the chest and then grabbing hold of his hump to ram him into the concrete wall of the well. She liked the satisfying crunch she heard from that, enjoyed the sight of the crack and trickle of water in the stone. Finally allowed to let loose, her anger just wanted to run amok, to smash, to break, to burn!

Suddenly, the Krogan threw out his fist, fingers drenched in bright blue light. Elaine gasped as invisible hands seized hold of her body and lifted her up into the air! She floated, weightless, unable to move as everything held her still. Arms and legs were spread wide, almost to the point when her sockets began to protest. A blue field surrounded her, encasing her in its light. From the floor, the Krogan got to his feet, piercing grey eyes fuming as he glared up at her and thrust out his hand towards her again. Forks of blue electricity seemed worked its way along her skin, driving into her body, and causing her searing pain as if she were being ripped apart piece by tiny piece.

The Warden grit her teeth, refusing to scream as she knew he wanted. This was the strange magic she'd seen Samara and a few others use in this new world. Even the feel of it felt foreign to her, and she was utterly powerless to do anything against it. Why had she not listened when Alistair had offered to teach her the ways of the Templar? Maybe she could've been able to fight this magic had she learned, but no, she'd taken for granted her best friend, her Alistair, would always be there to help her.

 _BANG!_

A gunshot rang out across the camp, the bullet grazing through the side of the Krogan's exposed neck. He stumbled away, cursing, concentration seemingly broken enough for the spell that he'd placed over Elaine to drop. She fell, boneless and limp, for the floor. Before she could crumple, arms snatched her up and pressed her close against a hard, awkwardly angled chest. Elaine blinked blearily as normal functions returned to her. All she could focus on was the arm wrapped tightly around her waist. She recognised that blue colour… that sharp three fingered hand… Finally she could move her head again, and she looked up to find Garrus stood there like a vengeful angel, glaring intently at his enemy, one arm on her, the other aiming his pistol at the Krogan. He took four shots. One under the Krogan's ribs, another to his shoulder, the next to the other shoulder, the last along the side of his face.

The Krogan flinched at each strike, a small trickle of blood dripped from his chin. He looked wary but otherwise fine from shots that might've killed any other being. Garrus still remained unwavering. "Those were warning shots. Get out of here before I _really_ try."

"What in the Void is going on here!"

The thunder of the voice shook the camp. All three of them dared to look away to see where it came from. Marching straight for them, was none other then the Clan Leader himself. With red eyes seeming to be aflame, Wrex appeared like something from the bowels darkness, gaze intense and mouth set in a vicious sneer. Two burly looking guards followed on his flanks, and not one of them looked best pleased either. Wrex stood tall as he stopped right in the middle of the fighters. He looked from side to side, his gaze seeming to be like that of the Maker himself, judging all without mercy in the span of seconds.

Finally his gaze fixed on Garrus, and narrowed. "You wanna explain this one to me, Garrus?"

"I don't know." The turian's voice seemed just as hard as he turned his own glare on Elaine's Krogan assailant. "Maybe you wanna ask him why he was attacking Elaine?"

Wrex looked over at the Krogan in question, noticing the scorch marks from bullets on his clothes, the blood on his neck and chin. He then snapped his gaze on Elaine, her haggard appearance, perhaps he could see the fact she felt as if every part of her body was still electrified. With a growl he turned back on the other Krogan, looking as nasty as a High Dragon discovering an egg thief in her nest.

"Speaker for Clan Hailot, you threaten guests of Clan Urdnot. By law, your own protection is forfeit." Grabbing hold of the Krogan's collar, Wrex practically threw him into the arms of his guards. "Take him away and deal with him. I'll speak to Clan Leader Hailot Wrund myself later."

The Krogan initially struggled, but not by much. Elaine knew he could've certainly put up more of a fight if he'd wanted to. But instead, the two guards grabbed hold of him and harshly began to drag him away into the dark of the night. Elaine watched them go, her eyes on her enemy, watching him as he watched her equally. Even as he was being carted away to his doom, he was still studying her, still trying to figure her out.

Finally, he was gone, and Elaine realised she was still held in Garrus's hold. Almost roughly, she broke her way free, running her hands through her tangled hair in an attempt to try and work her nerves out. Every muscle was rock hard, and she had to breathe and take a moment to try and untense each one.

"You sure you didn't just cause a diplomatic incident between your clan and his?" she heard Garrus ask Wrex in an almost light manner.

"Idiot wants to challenge my strength by going after those under my protection, he should take the consequences. If Wrund's smart, he'll recognise that. If not, its one more clan off my list." Wrex replied as if this were a normal daily occurrence. Elaine finally seemed to get control of herself enough to turn to keep an eye on the two of them, and managed to catch them watching her carefully. Wrex nodded to the both of them. "You both handled yourselves well. It'll go a long way to see that this doesn't happen relatively soon."

Garrus blanched. "Relatively?"

"You're with the Krogan, Garrus," Wrex laughed with arms spread wide. "We accept every challenge that comes our way."

And with that, he left, storming off into the shadows of the night and disappearing just as quickly as he'd arrived. Silence fell between the two that remained. Shivers began to build up Elaine's spine as the aftershocks of all the night's events began to take their toll. Suppressing it as best she could, she tried to turn away so that Garrus would not see. But he must've done, for she felt his gentle hand on her shoulder, trying to turn her round to get a good look at her.

"You okay?" his strange dual-toned voice asked softly.

Her heart skipped and she shrugged him off. "I'm fine. You can leave now."

"Okaaaaaaaaaaay, that wasn't exactly the _thank-you_ I was thinking of," he quipped almost to himself. Elaine had not the time for his jokes. She needed time and she needed to not give into temptation to look into the water again, for fear of what she'd see there. She couldn't let Garrus see how mad she was. But again, he was there, hesitantly trying to take hold of her arms, to steer her back the way he'd come. "Look, you need to go back to sleep. After that Ryncol, you–"

She snatched her hand away as if his touch burned. "I do not need sleep, I just need to be alone. Preferably where no magic can get me."

"Magic?"

"What else would you call that?!" she snapped, finally turning to look at him as she thrust her hand out to gesture at where their Krogan enemy had been led off to.

"Err, Biotics?" the turian shrugged. "It's what happens when a foetus is exposed to element zero and–"

"Enough! I just…"

She pressed her palms to her eyes. Her breathes were more like barely contained shivers up her throat. No, she couldn't do this. Not here. She needed to get her thoughts together, to pick herself up and put back on her mask of normalcy. But how could she do that when there were monsters lurking behind her eyelids and in her reflections? The battle with the Krogan had shaken her. Even when the Warden lost herself in the powers of the Berserker, there was only old indifference to the actual killing, only the enjoyment of the battle. But this time, she'd wanted to blood, to relish in death and pain and suffering, just because he'd caught her at a bad time. That wasn't like her at all. It only added to her fear that there indeed was something terrible inside of her, something that was slowly trying to get out. Even now, she didn't feel in control of herself fully. What if it leaked out of her, and somehow ended up hurting Garrus, or even Shepard or the others? She couldn't take that, couldn't let that happen, it would kill her to know she'd done it.

She held out a hand to warn Garrus away. "I am not trustworthy. Please just go back to bed, where I can do you no harm."

"What? Elaine, hold on." Before she could get away he'd gently taken hold of her arm and turned her back to face him. She tried to pull away, but then his large hands took hold of her shoulders, gently squeezing and releasing them in a steady rhythm that actually felt rather… soothing. His thumbs stroked at her skin, and his voice was low and quiet. "Come on, tough girl, talk to me. What's bothering you?"

"What's bothering me? Ha!" her cackle was a sound without mirth, more pitiful than merry. "What _isn't_ bothering me, Garrus? I'm questioning my entire understanding of the world since I got here. I'm lost and so far away from home, I'm not even sure if its real anymore. And to top it all off, I think I'm losing my mind! So do you think you can _help_ me with any of that?"

Pushing away from him she managed to get some much-needed distance between their bodies. Finally, Garrus's own temper began to flare, his brow plates drawing low over his eyes. "Well, snapping at me certainly doesn't let me."

"I don't need help, Garrus!" she whirled on him ferally. "I need basic understanding! I need to know what has happened to me, how I got here, why I'm here."

"Open any religious text. You'll get a dozen answers on the subject."

"Go ahead! Mock me! Mock the fact that I am such a stranger here, that as well as everything else I'm having to deal with, I also know absolutely _nothing_! I don't know even the first thing about your simplest sciences! I don't even know the difference between magic and biotics, apparently."

"One shoots fireballs, the other manipulates gravity?"

"Ha! And there it is. Half the words people use I know nothing of. What even is gravity?" the fight left her, and slowly, she sank to the ground and stared up into nothingness, tears glistening at the corners of her eyes, her voice as quiet as a whisper of wind. "I'm all alone, Garrus. I have so many questions, and not one familiar face to comfort me and tell me all that I need to know."

There was a long silence. Garrus watched her sit upon the floor, perhaps disturbed, perhaps intrigued. Maybe both. Maybe he pitied her, how small she looked, how defeated and miserable she must've appeared sat upon the broken, dusty floor. Slowly he came to stand above her, and then as quietly as he could, he lowered himself to ground to sit right beside her. He didn't touch her, but the aura of him drew her attention so that she was infinitely aware of how he was right there, an inviting shoulder to lean against should she wish to.

And then he began to speak oh-so-softly, and Elaine slowly turned to watch him, to listen. "Well, gravity is a force. It's a force of attraction that occurs between any two objects. It can pull them across the endless nothing of space, over countless ages of time. It's the strongest force in the galaxy there is, the one constant thing you can always depend on." He splayed out one palm for her to see, and then took gentle hold of her wrist and held it up a few inches above it. "Sometimes we don't know how or why it works the way it does. What we do know, is that it's always working, always bringing all of us…" he let go of her hand, and it fell, right into his waiting palm, "…together."

Mesmerised, she stared at their joined hands, hers fitting so neatly inside of his own. His long fingers wrapped around her pale flesh, banishing the cold, and letting all her worries melt with his soothing voice and firm hold on her. Slowly, her eyes travelled up to meet his, to find him staring down at her, those sky-blue orbs as clear as anything she'd ever seen. They appeared so human, so much like a mirror to her own. He too was a soldier who had lost his purpose, lost his way, and like her was struggling to find it once more. With not a word spoken, he'd lit the beacon on the rough seas of isolation, to let her know she was not alone after all. The gratitude she felt was overwhelming.

Her voice was a mere distracted whisper. "That's… Garrus, that's beautiful…"

He hummed something in the affirmative, but otherwise said nothing. He only continued to gaze into her eyes. The pregnant silence that came over them seemed to last forever, but Elaine was completely unaware of anything outside of the moment where he held her hand in his. Slowly, his other hand reached out to her. Neither of them knew what he meant to do with it or what might've happened next, for Elaine saw it coming and the small movement was enough to break her spell.

Time became relevant once more, as did all her problems. She pulled away from him, hand slipping out of his with a wisp of friction as she stood and refused to meet his gaze. "Maybe we should both get back to bed."

And then she turned her back on him and hurried away back the way she'd come through the camp towards her shared sleeping quarters, not caring if he followed her or not. She squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she could've stayed in that blissful worry-free haven the turian had provided her. But it was no use. She had a duty to face – it had always been the same with her. She could not indulge in her own wants, not when there was something more important to be done. And right now, her duty was to discover exactly what these visions meant… and deal with them the way she was supposed to.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hello my lovely readers! It's great to be back! I hope you've all had a lovely winter holidays, I certainly did, but I'm glad to be back at writing this. The feedback for last chapter was absolutely phenomenal, I can't tell you guys how much I appreciate every comment you send my way. And for all the new readers joining us, welcome! I hope you all enjoy this journey with me throughout this year.**

 **So please review! It puts a smile on my face, reminds of your love, and helps me to improve.**


	18. The Doctor-Who-Killed-Millions

**15/01/18 Author's Note: Hello my lovely readers! I hope you're having a wonderful new year so far! The feedback for the last couple of chapters have been phenomenal, and I thank each and every one of you for your support. Please know that I do read all your comments, and whilst I might not get time to respond to each and every one, I do see them and they do put a huge smile on my face! I pray you keep it up.**

 **I am hoping to get some more art for this story out relatively soon. I will let you guys know when that happens.**

 **This chapter was particularly great to write for me, as it is essentially a huge entry in my personal favourite story-arc in the entire Mass Effect franchise. It was at this point on my first ever play-through that I actually realised that Mass Effect was not "just a game", as stories like this had me personally invested and conflicted in a way I had never experienced in this format before. So it was a wonderful experience to write about something so personal to me, as well. However, as I was writing up this chapter this week, I suddenly realised how double-edged some of this dialogue could be if interpreted by certain individuals. This is why, I feel like I have to do this, just to be safe...**

 **DISCLAIMER - I am fully aware that if taken out of context, some of the lines in this chapter could wade into the whole 'pro-life vs pro-choice' argument. I wish to make you all fully aware that no line, comment or anything in this chapter is some form of hidden metaphor or allegory towards that political subject. The contents of this chapter is strictly about the Genophage and its effects on the Krogan people. End of.**

 **With that being said, I hope you enjoy the chapter and please don't forget to review!**

* * *

Morning light revealed the true repercussions of the previous evening's activities. With the storm finally passed and the burning sunlight finding its way to Tuchanka's surface once more, the shuttle was once again able to ferry the crew of the Normandy back and forth. Mordin had arrived at first light, along with Zaeed – though Elaine couldn't imagine why Shepard had requested his presence. Grunt had been completely inebriated, even for a Krogan, and so come morning he was in no shape to do anything, let alone fight. So Shepard ordered Garrus to take him back to the ship, and Zaeed had been summoned in order to take his place. When Mordin and the mercenary got off the shuttle, they were greeted by a less than friendly welcome party. Apparently the Krogan people did not like Salarians all that much, and several clan members had made it clear they were ready to tear Mordin apart at the first wrong move. Shepard smoothed things over as best he could, but the group decided collectively that it was wise to get moving and get this mission done as soon as possible.

Elaine had shoved away the urge to fall asleep during the carriage ride to the Weyrloc camp. After her nightmare, she'd laid awake all night for fear of suffering the same dream a second time. She felt so exhausted, as well as nervous about trying to figure this nightmare out, she'd even suggested to Shepard that she return to the Normandy with Grunt and Garrus stay behind with the squad. However, apparently Garrus had requested the switch himself. Elaine had felt guilt at that, hoping she hadn't alienated her good turian friend with her behaviour the previous night.

They headed to the Weyrloc camp at the suggestion of the Urdnot scout, who'd reported seeing a salarian prisoner amongst Weyrloc soldiers. Once they arrived a few hours later, they came upon the remains of a desolate corpse of a building, an old hospital – an infirmary to treat the injured, if Elaine understood them correctly. The area had been defended by those disgusting Vorcha creatures, though they'd been easily dispatched. Upon entering the hospital, Elaine was shown how much of a ruin it truly was. Dust and dirt and rubble littered every walkway, even the stairs, as if the last remnants of some ancient battle that had claimed this place. As they came down the first set of stairs, a pale form drew all of their attention as it stuck out like a sore-thumb amidst the dark and dank covered walls and floors.

Upon closer inspection, they found it was a dead human man, his hair shaved close to his skull, his skin haggard and worn. He hadn't been dead for very long, as he didn't stink just yet. Mordin knelt beside the body, summoning his Omni-tool and magically bringing up the image of a skeleton with flittering red dots. Shepard knelt next to him, and Elaine and Zaeed stood uncomfortably awaiting results.

Something of what he saw must've made sense to Mordin at least, for he nodded and mumbled thoughtfully at the magical image. "Sores, tumours, ligatures showing restraints at wrists and ankles. Track marks for repeated injection sites. Test subject. Victim of experimentation."

"I don't suppose there's a way to tell who this poor bastard was?" asked Shepard.

"No tattoos or ID. Maybe slave or prisoner. Maybe merc or pirate. Irrelevant now. Clearly part of Krogan tests to cure Genophage." Mordin murmured as if this revelation troubled him greatly. "Humans useful as test subjects. Genetically diverse. Enables exploration of treatment modalities."

"How are humans more useful?" Elaine asked, confused. "And what does that mean, _genetically diverse?_ "

"Come on blondie," Zaeed sneered. "Just means how people are different from each other."

Shepard appeared to be more understanding than Zaeed. "Think of it like… how humans look so different from each other. Some have ginger hair, some are dark skinned, that sort of thing."

"No." Mordin shook his head. "Ignore superficial appearance. Down to genetic code. Biotic abilities, intelligence levels. Can look at random Asari, Krogan, make reasonable guess. Humans too variable to judge. Outliers in all species, of course. Geniuses, idiots. But human probability curve offers greater overall variety. Makes humans useful test subjects. Larger reactions to smaller stimuli."

"Wouldn't something native to Tuchanka work better? Like Varren?"

"Yes. Human experimentation strictly high-level, concept testing. Native Tuchanka fauna likely used later, in development stages. Wise to delay use of Varren until necessary. Powerful bite."

The Commander nodded and dared to gently move the exposed arm of the dead body to see the bruising that followed the veins up his arms. "What can you tell me about the experiments from looking at the body?"

"Position of tumours suggests deliberate mutation of adrenal, pineal glands. Modifying hormone levels. Counterattack on glands hit by Genophage. Clever."

"Do you think they're close?"

"Can't say. Need more data." Mordin and Shepard shared a look. As if they knew that only trouble could come from this.

It only made Elaine curious. It didn't sit well with her when she knew she only had half of the puzzle. "Why is this cure for the genophage so important? Didn't you say it was a check for Krogan aggression, Mordin?"

Zaeed snorted. "Heh, is _that_ what he told you?"

"We can discuss ethics later," snapped Shepard and stood. "Right here and now, these experiments are wrong, so we go in and stop them."

"Focus on Maelon. Too late to help the dead." Mordin brushed off his legs and stood as well, withdrawing his pistol to be ready for whatever came next.

Elaine wanted to ask further questions, but she knew when the time was not right – and also when others were actively avoiding her questions. She decided to keep her voice down, for now. As they wandered further into the hospital, everything began to look suspicious. Down through the levels into the underground they went, and with every room they passed, Elaine was reminded more and more of a dungeon. Rooms lay in tatters, some with special doors so that they might be sealed completely. There were even chains and restraints within a few. The stank smell of rotting flesh and misery wafted up from further in.

A few more guards hindered their path, but were quickly disposed of. The way the warriors vehemently defended this place, it reminded Elaine of wolves guarding their den. Or Drake's guarding a nest. Whatever this place was, it had to be for more than torture, as Mordin seemed to fear had happened to his beloved student. No, this was far more significant to the Krogan, their behaviour, their total commitment to die rather than abandon this place… it only deepened Elaine's growing dread. At one point, they opened a door, and came across a room with a high balcony above and only one staircase leading up to the door from which they needed to head through in order to proceed. Instantly, Elaine tensed, for this space was far too open, too primed for an ambush. And as luck would have it, she was proven correct.

"I am the Speaker for Clan Weyrloc, offworlders!" boomed a Krogan voice. Three of them, flanked by four or five Vorcha came through the door on the balcony above. Elaine tensed, sword at the ready, but Shepard signalled to hold off. The Vorcha were positioning themselves to flank the humans but had not attacked just yet. The Krogan-Speaker looked down upon them, anger in his eyes. "You have shed our blood. By rights, you should be dead already. But Weyrloc Guld, the Chief of Chiefs, has ordered that you be given leave to flee and spread the message of our coming."

Shepard reclined back on one hip, arms crossed and head cocked. "And why should I do that?"

"If you walk away now, you can tell your children that you saw Clan Weyrloc before our Blood Pack conquered the stars," proclaimed the Speaker in a tone that resembled awe, before his lips twisted into a sneer. "You think the Urdnot impressive? They are pitiful! Weyrloc Guld will destroy them. The Salarian will cure the genophage, and Clan Weyrloc will spread across the galaxy in a sea of blood!"

Mordin tapped his chin a little nervously. "Appears they discovered Maelon's work. Unfortunate."

"Not gonna happen, Krogan," said Shepard. "Look, I can understand wanting to cure the Genophage–"

"No human, you understand _nothing!"_ roared the Speaker with such venom and pain that Elaine was taken by surprise. And was that… sorrow, she saw in his eyes when he leaned forward to spit his words out in grief. "You have not seen _the piles of child that never lived_!"

Elaine froze. The mental image those words invoked came to mind, unbidden, and the horrid implications that came with them. Her heart twisted. She looked between Shepard and Mordin, and even Zaeed. Their expressions were hardened, unsympathetic. When the Speaker spoke once more, his voice seemed like there was croak lodged within him.

"The Krogan were wronged. We will make it right, and then we will have our revenge!"

"You cannot!" Elaine shouted, stepping forward. She didn't know what drove her to speak, for she didn't even know the full truth of this situation! But something inside her told her that these people had suffered enormous misery, and their thirst for a blood-repayment was great because of it. "Vengeance solves nothing. You start a war, you'll be alone against all the other races."

"We have the Blood Pack! And we have the Salarian! When our Clan numbers in the millions, we will not fear them." Spat the Speaker. "When we cure the Genophage, Weyrloc Guld will rule all Krogan! The Krogan rebellions will become the Krogan Empire! The surviving races will frighten their children with tales of what the Blood Pack did to the Turians. The Asari will scream as their Citadel plunges into the sun! We will keep Salarian slaves and eat their eggs as a delicacy! If you lack the wisdom to flee, then you will be the first–"

And suddenly, Shepard's gun was out and pointed to the Speaker. "You talk too much." He muttered and fired. The Krogan didn't fall. Instead, the bullet hit a rotund metal container beneath the Speaker. Elaine stared at Shepard – had he missed?

"You see! The human cannot hit a simple target…" the Speaker trailed off when one of his subordinated tapped his shoulder and pointed downward. Elaine looked too. The container was hissing, as if air was caught inside it. Shepard let loose one more bullet, and the whole thing exploded! Fire consumed the Speaker, turning him to ash even as his screams echoed around the room.

Elaine launched herself towards the stairs, shield held aloft to block the bullets fired her way. The Vorcha tried to claw at her when she came too close, but her sword easily cut through their necks. Mordin's fire-blasts (that reminded Elaine far too much of fire-magic) weakened the other two krogans, and Zaeed and Shepard's powerful guns injured them further. All just enough for Elaine to dish out the killing blow. When the corpses laid upon the ground, the rest of her group ran up the stairs to join her.

Mordin strode ahead through the doors the Speaker had come through, gesturing for Shepard and company to follow. "Come on, Maelon must be further in."

"Wait." Elaine's boots dug into the earth and refused to budge. The others turned to glance at her, to see what was the matter. Her eyes were as icy as her voice. "I'm not moving unless someone explains to me what in the Maker's name is going on here. What _exactly_ is the Genophage? Is it some form of disease? Why is it so paramount that we stop it from being cured? What did that Krogan mean by _the piles of children that never lived?"_

"You didn't tell her? Great." Sheard muttered sarcastically and threw a look at Mordin. The Commander sighed, and the longer he took to form the right words the more anxious Elaine became. "Roughly a thousand years ago, the Krogans nearly conquered the galaxy. Their birth rate was so high that it meant they could replace all their fallen soldiers faster than the Council races could kill them."

Mordin piped up. "Last resort, Turians deployed Genophage. Bioweapon, developed by Salarians. Attaches garbage data onto nervous systems. Lowers fertility rate to sustain viable population and keep Krogan numbers down."

"Can we stop pussyfooting around this?" Zaeed growled out impatiently. "It's a bloody sterility plague."

"Inaccurate!" snapped Mordin, affronted. "Only to drop–"

"The Genophage makes it so only 1 in 1000 mini-krogans are taken to full term. The rest are stillborn."

Silence. Suddenly everything made sense. Why there were no children in camp-Urdnot. Why the Krogan Speaker had seemed to grief-stricken. The Speaker's words came back to haunt her, that feeling of years-long misery suddenly had context and new significance. She was short of breath. The horror overwhelming.

Slowly, she turned to face the salarian, and felt the single drop that destroyed the dam. Rage crashed through her, making her leap towards him, fist raised, a scream exploding from her lips. "MURDERER!"

Shepard caught her around the middle and tried to hold her back, but the Warden could not be contained, and fought viciously to get to her prey. Mordin was shocked at her reaction, and then found his indignant voice. "No! Not a murderer – killed no one!"

"Liar!"

"Elaine!" Shepard grunted when her knee punched his kidneys. With a snarl of effort, he threw her off. Before she could charge past him again, he held out a hand in front of her face. "Stand down!

And then those fierce blue eyes were focused on him, and she bared her teeth at the Commander like a rabid wolf about to snap. "And YOU! You knew of this, you knew and hid the truth from me."

"Because this is not an issue you can casually explain – what was I supposed to do, just drop it in conversation?"

"Then attempt to explain it to me now! Attempt to rationalise how this _Doctor_ kills children, denies wanting mothers their babies!"

"Krogan evolving to overcome original genophage," said Mordin. "Had to develop new strain. Krogan aggression, Krogan numbers, all outcomes pointed to war. Had to keep Krogan numbers down. If not, would overrun galaxy. Best solution for all."

Elaine recoiled. "Did you just listen to yourself? You're talking about murder!"

"No. Altered fertility, prevented foetal development of nervous system. Have killed many, Elaine. Many methods. Gunfire, knives, drugs, tech attacks, once with farming equipment. But not with medicine!"

Shepard dared to step closer to her, hands aloft and signalling for peace, though all it did was rile her up more. "The Genophage was the right call at the time."

"How can you say that? What is the matter with you!" Elaine shouted. "On my world, mankind has done terrible things, but we would never–"

"This is NOT your world, Elaine!" he yelled her into silence. "Out here, the tough choices have to be made. To help keep the peace at any cost. Sometimes that means we have to do things we don't like. And that sometimes means letting the few die here so that the many – the greater good – can _live_ out there."

"No. I refuse to believe that. All life is precious. I cannot stand by and let these people suffer!"

"You heard that Krogan back there, what he promised to do to the other races. The Krogan would've done that years ago if they weren't stopped."

"Then you punish the soldiers," she hissed in his face, "the ones responsible. Innocents completely ignorant of the sins of their fathers should be left out of it!"

"Genophage not a punishment. Simply alters fertility to correct for removal from hostile environment." Mordin nodded, and then began to tick off his fingers. "Krogan choices led to this. Refused truce during Krogan Rebellions. Expand after Rachni wars. Splinter after Genophage. Could have eradicated Krogan, not difficult. Increased mutation to degrade genetic structure further. Chose not to. Rachni extinction tragic. Did not want to repeat. All life precious. Universe demands diversity."

"And thanks to your actions, look at what has happened to the Krogan and their home as a result."

"State of Tuchanka not due to Genophage. Nuclear winter caused by Krogan before Salarians made first contact. Genophage medical. Not nuclear. No craters from virus. Damage caused by Krogans. Not Salarians. Not me."

Elaine paced, shaking her head at the vile things she was hearing. "Deny it all you wish. But the misery of these people will always be a sin you cannot just wash away."

Mordin rolled his eyes. "Believes embryos to have galactic significance. Genophage nullified pregnancy before foetus had chance to properly form. Dead before first heartbeat. Was never alive. Not murder. Had to be done."

The Warden stood there, staring into those huge alien eyes and wondering if there was even a shred of something resembling humanity within. She thought of the countless mothers despairing over their lost babes, of the piles of children that never lived. Her heart twisted and her stomach ached through a void that could never be filled. The words that issued from her mouth were whispered and broken. "… Only a man who has never known the pain of being childless could do such a thing so trivially."

And she walked on, further into the abyss. The others followed her, the dust of desolation collecting on their boots. Elaine ignored each of them, unsure of what reaction she would give if they chose to disturb her now. Would she shed a tear? Roar in fury? Attack out of hate? It was better she kept to herself. She could feel their eyes on her, but again ignored them.

They managed to locate the labs, after finding a missing Urdnot scout who had been broken by experimentation and torture and brainwashed into supporting his captors. Shepard had given him the motivation to get back up and make his way home. Though Elaine just stood to the side-lines, disinterested and silent. A scent, the hint of dead flesh, drifted to her from one of the adjoining rooms. Mordin was off somewhere going through any working Terminals for the information they might hold. Alone, the Warden followed her nose, quietly stalking around the corner until she finally found the labs.

Three tables were placed in a line through the centre of the chamber. Each table had shackles placed at the right positions to secure ankles and wrists. Machines lined one wall, each connected to a different table. In one corner sat a desk, old blood staining it in splatters. Knives, pincers, and other pieces of equipment sat dejected upon a tray on top. Elaine's eyes were drawn to one table, where a sheet had been laid over a lump underneath. She was not stupid, and knew to recognise the coverings of a corpse. The sheet sat unmoving, as if frozen, not even ruffling with the slight breeze that cycled through the building. It was stained with the colour of Krogan Blood. Drawn as if under hypnosis, Elaine came forward, her hand gently taking hold of the edge of the sheet. Slowly, she lifted it, just enough to spot a lifeless green eye already milking over to white. With a sigh, she lowered the coverings, and closed her eyes.

" _The Light shall lead her safely through the paths of this world, and into the next. For she who trusts in the Maker, fire is her water. As the moth sees light and goes toward flame; She should see fire and go towards Light. The Veil holds no uncertainty for her, and she will know no fear of death, for the Maker shall be her beacon and her shield, her foundation and her sword_."

It had been so long since she'd sung any verses of the Chant of Light. And the quiet hum left her lips, as fresh as if the Chantry Mother of Castle Cousland had recited it to her just this morning. She knew it was perhaps selfish to speak her prayers when the Krogan did not know of, let alone believed in her Maker. But she felt the need to speak some form of prayer to this poor soul, to offer some comfort, that she might be given rest in death. The light orange glow of from Mordin's wrist disturbed her as he came to stand on the other side of the body, fiddling with his magic.

"Dead Krogan. Female. Tumours indicate experimentation. No restraint marks. Volunteer." He said quietly and leaned his hands upon the table edge to look at the shape of the body. "Sterile Weyrloc female willing to risk procedures. Hoped for cure. Pointless. Pointless waste of life."

"What was pointless?" asked Shepard, his voice seeming too loud, too intrusive in the quiet. "Her volunteering, or the doctor's experiments?"

"Both. Her mistake forgivable. Theirs not."

Elaine couldn't stop the bitterness in her tone. "I wouldn't think you'd be so disturbed by the sight of a dead Krogan."

"What? Why?" Mordin looked up sharply, startled. "Because of Genophage work? Irrelevant. No, causative! Never experimented on live Krogan. Never killed with medicine. Her death not my work, only… _reaction_ to it! Goal was to stabilise population. Never wanted this. Can see it logically… but still unnecessary. Foolish waste of life. Hate to see it."

"What?" Zaeed snorted. "You seen it before, have you? Come back every once in a while, to have a good look?"

"Yearly recon missions. Water, tissue samples. Ensure no mistakes. Superiors offered to carry it on. Refused. Need to see it in person. Accept it as necessary. See small picture. Remind myself why I run a clinic on Omega." He held out a hand, and much like Elaine had done, the Salarian prayed. "Rest, young mother. Find your gods. Find some place better."

All it did was anger the human woman. "Considering everything you've done, I did not suspect you to be religious, Mordin."

"Genophage modification project altered millions of lives. Then saw results. Ego, humility, juxtaposition. Frailty of life. Size of universe. Explored religions after work completed. Different races. No answers. Many questions."

"You were trying to deal with your guilt. You couldn't stand the thought to be the 'Doctor who killed millions'."

"Modified genophage project great in scope. Scientifically brilliant. But ethically difficult. Krogan reaction visceral, tragic. Not guilty, but responsible. Trained as doctor. Genophage affects fertility, doesn't kill. Still caused this. Hard to see big picture behind pile of corpses." Mordin's shoulder slumped just a fraction, his huge eyes blinking slowly. "Not easy. Sometimes wish I wasn't as intelligent. Choice fallen on someone else. Not my problem. Fool's wish. Had to be me. Someone else might've gotten it wrong."

"And where's your prayers for the idiots we've gunned down on our way in?" said Zaeed.

"Different cases. Self-defence. Combat instinctual, justified. Medical experimentation not the same. Krogan researchers ruthless. Risking own clan's women for new data. Disgusting. Short sighted. Wrong."

"And what you did was better?" snapped Elaine. "How can you justify this?"

Mordin shrugged. "Wheel of life. Popular Salarian concept. Similar to human Hinduism, focus on reincarnation. Appealing to see life as endless. Fix mistakes in next life. Learn, adapt, improve. Refuse to believe life ends here. Too wasteful. Have more to offer. Mistakes to fix. Cannot end here. Could do so much more."

"What about the mistake you made here? If you cannot even live with yourself in the aftermath, maybe that tells you that the genophage was wrong."

"Had to be done. Rachni wars, Krogan rebellions, all pointed to Krogan aggression. So many simulations. Effects of Krogan population increase. All pointed to war. Extinction. Genophage or genocide. Save galaxy from Krogan. Save Krogan from galaxy."

Elaine stepped up close to Mordin, and made a point to slowly let her eyes glance down to the corpse beside them. "Look at the dead woman, Mordin. It doesn't look like you ' _saved'_ her."

* * *

They found Maelon at the very heart of the hospital, in a room filled with several bodies and more magical glowing machines. The young salarian himself had seemed… fine. Elaine had expected to find a haggard soul, overworked, forced into submission and desperate for escape. But Maelon had seemed relatively fine in himself. It had appeared to have baffled Mordin as well, who even remarked that Maelon didn't seem to have suffered any outwardly noticeable signs of torture. It was at that moment that it had clicked for Elaine that Maelon was no prisoner. Even invisible shackles left their mark.

Maelon had argued with the professor back and forth. The young scientist had confessed guilt after the Genophage-modification-project had been completed, and so wanted to undo what they'd done. He excused his barbaric treatment of his subjects, the vileness of his experiments, all in the name that the end justified the means. Mordin and Shepard argued with him on the ethics of his work, on what would happen if Maelon cured the Krogan. But he did not see the worst outcome possible as a terrible thing. Elaine kept quiet throughout, unable to force herself to get invested in the cosmetics of this debate. To her, she half agreed with Maelon, but knew he was on a dark path. The situation reminded her of Avernus, and his torturous experiments on fellow Grey Wardens at Vigil's Keep. She'd let him live to carry on his research, so long as his experiments were ethical this time around.

Under the scrutiny, and the evidence of Mordin not changing his opinion on the subject, Maelon had snapped. He'd pulled out a gun, and even Elaine had noticed how badly his hands shook as he pointed it from one person to the next. The weapon had been snatched out of his hands, when Mordin has punched him – surprising Elaine with such an impatient tactic. The scientist had stumbled back against a glass tank.

Before Maelon could move, Mordin had him pinned and had pulled out his own gun. "Unacceptable experiments. Unacceptable goals. Won't change. No choice… Have to kill you."

Elaine rushed forward, hand snatching hold of Mordin's wrist. "Wait, don't! You cannot. He's your student!"

"Student who betrayed my work. Betrayed me." The Professor's voice was cold, unfeeling.

"And you will betray yourself if you do this."

Zaeed growled to himself. "I say blow a bullet in his fuckin' skull. Traitorous bastard wants to pick a fight, teach him."

"No. She's right, Mordin." Said Shepard. "You don't need to do this. You're not a murderer."

As if awakening from a dream, Mordin took in a staggering breath, and blinked his huge eyes wide. "No, not a murderer. Thank you, Shepard." Slowly, he backed away from Maelon, fingers slightly trembling. Elaine hovered, ready to see to the problem if Mordin tried once again. "Get out, Maelon. No Weyrloc left. Project over."

Maelon looked desperately lost. "Where am I supposed to go, Professor?"

"Don't care. Try Omega. Can always use another clinic."

"The Krogan didn't deserve what we did to them, Professor. The Genophage needs to end."

And with that, no other questions asked, the young salarian wandered out the door. His steps seemed aimless, the spark of life in his eye as dead as in those that he'd killed in his experiments. Elaine felt no pity for him as she watched him leave. Though he'd tried to do right, his method was not the right way. Had she encountered him with no other context than what she'd seen here, she would've run him through. But he was Mordin's student, had been treated like a son, from the way Mordin used to speak of him.

"Apologies, Commander," whispered Mordin. "Misunderstood mission parameters. No kidnapping. My mistake. Thank you."

Shepard nodded. "How are you holding up?"

"Should have killed him. Wanted to. Easier than listening. Easier for him too. Experiments indicate how far he's fallen. Expected it from Krogan. Not one of mine."

"Maybe you're giving the Krogan too little credit. Or the Salarians too much."

"Possible. Sloppy thinking. Must correct," he nodded and turned to the terminal Maelon had been stood at when they'd walked in. "Maelon's research only loose end. Could destroy it. Closure, security. Still valuable, though."

The Commander's lip twisted. "This is the research that included tests on living victims. It's tainted."

Elaine stepped forward. "And they will have suffered and died for nothing if that research is lost. Even if their suffering held no meaning, cannot their deaths hold significance now?"

"Maelon's work could cure Genophage," murmured Mordin. "Don't know. Effects on Krogan. Effects on galaxy. Too many variables. Too many variables!"

"Mordin," gently, her hand touched his shoulder, "you regret what the Krogan have become. You see the brutality in what they are, but you see the loss, their suffering."

"Wasted potential!"

"Do what is right, and–"

"Why the hell are you getting' involved?" Zaeed suddenly snapped at Elaine, who narrowed her icy eyes on him dangerously.

"Excuse me?"

"Look, little-miss-princess, this isn't none of your business. Keep your nose out and let them work it out."

"I'm sure you've hindered to that policy brilliantly," Elaine spat. "Look what it's done to _your_ nose as a result."

Zaeed seethed. "Why you little–"

"Enough. The pair of you," barked Shepard. They looked to him as the Commander stepped forward towards Mordin, who still stood frozen with indecision. Shepard looked up at the large orange screen hanging before the party, and then at the body of a Krogan on a table beside him. Elaine held her breath, pleading silently with him to heed her words and make the right call. He turned back to the Professor. "They don't deserve this, Mordin. Save the data."

Elaine released her breath in a grateful sigh.

"Point taken, Shepard. Capturing data. Wiping local copy." Nodded Mordin, and the screen went dark. "Still years away from cure. But closer than starting from scratch. Ready to go now."

The group prepared to leave, Zaeed ahead of them, sulking. Mordin searched through the copy of Maelon's research on his magic-tool. Elaine stayed behind just long enough to find what sheets were left to help cover the bodies. Being Andrastian, she would've liked to burn the bodies. But she did not know the rituals of the Krogan, and didn't want to cause offence. Besides, to burn all the bodies she'd come across would mean she'd need a big pyre. So this small modesty was all she could afford.

A hand appeared on the sheet beside hers, and she looked up, startled, to find Shepard knelt beside her. "You okay?"

Stiffly, the Warden pulled the sheet from his fingers and set it over the last body pushed into one corner. "As well as I can be, Shepard."

"You were pretty hard on Mordin. You wanna tell me what that's all about?" Shepard asked in a hushed voice. Elaine stood, but did not turn away from him either. Frozen, she hoped he would take her closed off body-language as a sign that she didn't want him to push further. She would not lie to him. She'd sworn to live in this new world honestly. But this pain he wanted to invoke was relatively pushed away most of the time, yet still raw. Shepard's voice still spoke: "What did you mean when you talked about the pain of being childless?"

"It would seem I have a personal stake in this…" she mumbled, unable to meet his eye, instead staring down at her fingers as she wrung her hands. "It is amusing, you see. To think that once I never thought of having children. Actively avoided it, even. I always argued I was too young, too full of life to be held down by motherhood. Foolish of me. I never knew what I had until it was taken away from me."

"What you had?"

The pit in her stomach gapped wide and empty, and her heart fell. "Another glorious side-effect of the Taint, Shepard. The corruption in my body, it demanded a higher price than just my life. In order to combat the Darkspawn, I unknowingly sacrificed any child I might've had. I am rendered almost infertile now myself."

Unable to speak more, she turned away and strode away from the hospital and the unhappy memories now added to her repertoire.


	19. The Friend

"Shit!"

Air burst from her lungs as her back slammed down onto the matts. Struggling to breathe, Elaine forced herself to roll out of the way before the talons could wrap around her throat and pin her to the floor. Forcing air-flow back through her lungs, she came up into a crouch, eyes on her opponent. She wasn't going to be flipped over again.

Garrus stood at the ready, fists up, eyes hard, ready to go. They'd been fighting for the best part of half an hour now, and he didn't even seem out of breath.

The morning after leaving Tuchanka, Shepard had announced they were going to make their way towards the Citadel, which had seemed to make some members of the crew happy. Elaine had knocked on Garrus's door and offered another sparring session. The memories of Maelon's base still haunted her, and she'd needed an outlet. As Garrus said: a way to blow off steam. Everything had been fine, right up until they actually started fighting. Garrus wasn't as talkative as normal, he was hitting harder, faster, angrier. It was like he was trying to take out his frustrations. Whatever was up with him, Elaine wasn't sure she liked it – and getting tossed around like a ragdoll was seriously pissing her right off.

Fine. If he wanted to fight dirty, she'd get dirty.

When he came after her, Elaine tried to sweep him aside, to trade blow for blow. His reach always made him one step ahead. Taking that as her cue, she then attempted to be a little flexible. Twisting her torso, she tried to flank him, and earned a punch to his unprotected waist. The turian groaned and stumbled, but managed to kick her away before she could get in another blow. Before she could get far, his hand snatched hold of her wrist and he swung her. For an instant, Elaine braced herself to be hauled through the air again. But then Garrus took her by surprise when he only spun her as if in a dance, and pulled her back flush against his chest.

Arms wrapped around her, he had her secured. Desperate for freedom, Elaine used an old trick she'd learned after watching a whore in a brothel when she'd been cornered by a patron who didn't know the meaning of the word 'enough'. She stamped her heel right onto the top of Garrus's two-toed foot. He grunted. Pushing forward, Elaine countered their weights and threw herself backwards. White-light exploded across her vision as the back of her head smashed into Garrus's chin. With a savage snarl, Garrus practically threw her aside. The human woman rolled across the mats, but this time got to her feet in an instant.

Elaine charged him. Swinging out one leg, she went to kick him in the side, which he blocked. His talons wrapped around her ankle, but she was prepared and yanked. Jumping into his hold, she jerked him down, at the same time as her other knee came up to slam into his right mandible. He recoiled and released her. The moment her feet touched ground, she jumped back into the air to swing her right fist down across the other side of his face. Garrus stumbled, and with him unbalanced, Elaine launched forward and drove her shoulder right under his ribcage. The impact reverberated down her collarbone and the flesh went white-hot with pain. She would be bruised tomorrow, but she didn't care.

Garrus went down with Elaine on top of him. This time, it was he who was winded. Using the opportunity, Elaine scrambled up to straddle him, fingers locking around his wrists to pin him to the floor.

"Yield!" she yelled at him.

There was a growl in the back of his throat. He really didn't want to. But then she heard the tap of his foot behind her hit the mat three times.

Instantly, she climbed off, and he almost pushed her off in his quick effort to get back to his feet. At the side of their make-shift ring, they'd left towels and water-bottles. The Turian took a long gulp, and then dabbed at the sweat Elaine could see gleaming along the inside of his carapace. She watched him carefully, for she could see the tightness of his muscles, the stiff posture in his stance. Even though he was made up of overlapping plates and deep brown hide, Elaine could somewhat tell that he was a bit battered and bruised. She wasn't faring any better herself, however.

Groaning, she climbed to her feet, and came over to join him. As she sipped from the strange cup, she cast a sideways glance at him. "So… You want to tell me what is on your mind?"

He blinked and looked at her as if only just noticing her. "Huh?"

"Well, I didn't want to be rude, but I'm not usually the type of girl to go so rough on the second match." She hoped humour might get that guarded look in his eyes to drop.

It didn't. "Yeah… Look, I shouldn't have agreed to this. I've got things I need to be doing back in the Battery."

And just like that, he grabbed hold of his things and turned to leave. Elaine felt her temper flare. No. She was no coward, and neither was he. She would not tolerate defeat.

"Garrus." His name was a barked command from her lips. It had been a long time since she'd had to properly use her commanding tone of voice. Her companions on Thedas had long since become her loyal friends, and when aboard the Normandy, she'd restrained from using it because none of these people were hers to command. But it she had to use it, then she would. And she was satisfied to see it worked, for the Turian stopped dead in his tracks. "You don't get to act broody with me, use me in the ring and then walk out."

"I don't think it's any of your business," came his curt reply.

The glare in those sky-blue eyes seemed particularly scathing. The Warden was taken aback. It was almost as if this was an entirely different Garrus to the one she'd come to know. Though it had taken a while to bring him out of his shell, he'd been awkward and funny and always there to help. Now he seemed cynical, angry and as if there were a knife blade hidden behind every stare. What could cause such a drastic change in him, she wondered. What had happened to make him so angry with her?

And then the answer came. Tuchanka. That night she'd pulled away from him, had treated him less than fairly when caught in her own panic about her nightmare. She felt a brief stab of shame at her actions, but it was quickly swallowed by her temper rearing its head once again. Though it made sense and Garrus's reaction to her shutting off seemed logical from his point of view. She would not stand for it. Hadn't he told her time and time again how this mission was too important to hold grudges?

"Garrus," she sighed, "we need to talk."

He cocked his head at her.

"I can understand you being angry with me, but we have to set this aside. My reasons for my behaviour that night are my own, and you cannot behave like a child about it."

He blanched. "Excuse me?"

"We both need to act like adults here. If my behaviour really upset you, then you should speak with me–"

"Would you just stop, for a second. It's got nothing to do with you!" he snapped in a loud outburst. Elaine blinked her eyes wide, both with astonishment at his tone but also with embarrassment at her error. Closing his eyes, Garrus made a visible effort to squash his obvious irritation, to regain some semblance of calm. When he opened his eyes once more, his tone was a little softer. "Do you remember what I told you the night after we hit the Collector Ship?"

Elaine cast her mind back, into the foggy recess of her memory that occurred that night. She could barely remember what happened even now. But she distinctly recalled him telling her something about Omega. "Yes?"

"You remember Sidonis? The one who betrayed my team?" he asked, and after a hesitant moment, Elaine slowly nodded. "Well, after I joined the Normandy, I let a few old contacts do some digging. When I got back after Tuchanka, I got message from one of them. Turns out they managed to get a lead on Sidonis."

Elaine planted crossed her arms and gave him a look, choosing to remain silent. Though his tone was calm, there was still that unsettled gleam in Garrus's eye and she wasn't exactly comfortable with it. But she owed it to him to listen to his words, so she did. It was just like when Alistair asked her to go find his sister, or Sten to recover his sword. It was that feeling she had in her gut of a friend asking for a favour.

Stepping closer, as if he feared that unwanted ears might be overhearing, Garrus's voice dropped a little. "There's a specialist on the Citadel; name's Fade. He's an expert in helping people disappear. Sidonis was seen with him."

"What do you mean he helps people to disappear?"

"Criminals, refugees, people escaping bad memories, they go to someone like Fade. He gives them new identities: new name, address, background. Anything that'll let them go back to society like a stranger."

"And you think Sidonis has gone to Fade?" Elaine reasoned. "If that is so, then he could have a new name – you'd never find him without knowing it."

"That's the plan. I find Fade, I find Sidonis."

Elaine's voice grew soft as she sensitively asked. "How exactly did Sidonis betray you, Garrus?"

For a moment, he didn't answer. Like a wild animal suddenly penned into a cage, the turian began to pace back and forth in front of her. His gait, the way his mandibles were pulled down to expose his teeth, it reminded Elaine less and less of a man and more of a beast. "He tipped off the mercs. Told them where our base was. He drew me away with a false job, and then let the mercs hit my team. My men weren't prepared. They tried to hold them off… but by the time I could get there… What does it matter? All ten of them are dead. Because of him!"

"And what are you going to do with Sidonis when you finally catch him?"

"You humans have a saying: _an eye for an eye, a life for a life?"_ Garrus asked, an almost viscious smirk spreading across his mandibles. "He owes me ten lives. And I plan to collect."

The Warden suppressed a shiver. This was not the Garrus she knew. The Garrus she knew took pride in his skill as a killer, he did not take joy at the mere thought of causing pain and torture. She tried to push it aside, tried to remind herself that this was exactly the same as when her companions had previously needed her help. Morigan had asked that she kill her mother, and Elaine had done just that, because it had meant her friend would survive. But Leliana had wanted to kill Majolaine, and Elaine had stopped her. She could see it changing Leliana, the same as she could see it changing Garrus, even now.

"How will you do this?" she pressed. "Shepard may not give you the time."

"Shepard's already agreed. I tagged him late last night. Its part of the reason we're going to the Citadel."

Elaine bit her lip. What else could she say to dissuade him?

For a moment, Garrus averted his eyes, and his tone became nervous. "And… I'd, erm… I'd like your help."

She looked up at him sharply. "My help?"

"Yeah. I might need backup if Fade won't co-operate… and I want friends with me I know I can trust. Besides, I figure that you know what I'm going through. You got your revenge for a similar sin. You know why I need to get this done."

Elaine felt herself grow stiff when he used Howe against her. She could see how he would come to that conclusion, but it made her angry and worried simultaneously. All at once, she wanted to pledge her allegiance and join the hunt with equal ferocity. But that was precisely why she had to take a moment to breathe the impulse away. The revenge she'd taken on Howe, and the consequences of it, was exactly the reason she decided she didn't want Garrus going down this path. The road he walked was an unforgiving and changing experience, and she wanted something left of him by its end. He was still grieving, still hurting over what happened to his friends. Elaine could understand that, could understand the burning need to try and ebb the flow of guilt by taking it out on the thing he blamed most.

"Do you even know how to find Fade?" she found herself asking quietly.

"Shepard and I have arranged a meeting. You don't need to worry."

"Garrus," she dared to venture, "have you really thought about this? Are you sure this is what you–"

"Look, I don't need you to agree with me." He snapped almost coldly. "Either help me out, or don't. It's that simple."

And with that dismissal, he spun on his heel and stormed away. Elaine watched him go, a little stung by his rejection to even hear her out. Her shoulders slumped in defeat. She knew she'd help him. how could she not? Any of her friends that had come to her before had always counted on her support, even if she might not have always agreed with them fully. She wouldn't abandon Garrus now, either. Maybe she could still change his mind?

* * *

Shepard made his way out of Life Support, Thane at his side. He'd been talking with the Drell about several things, most notably about his son. Initially, he'd thought he wouldn't get close to his crew, wouldn't risk putting his heart and soul into them only to be destroyed by grief if they died. Shepard knew he couldn't lose anymore people he cared about. But since Elaine had spoken to him about setting the crew with the best chance by completing these personal missions, he'd been forced to get involved with them. The isolation from any kind of normal contact had been eating him alive for far too long, so he now had to take a chance on all of them. He now understood them, knew more about them, he was talking to them more. But it was difficult, much more difficult than it had been before on the SR1. Shepard remembered being able to talk to any member of his crew as easy as breathing. Now, it felt like he was the outsider cautiously trying to look in. He didn't know how to talk and it upset him, even if it was making slow progress.

Yet Thane's calm and steady demeanour helped to keep Shepard level headed in the conversation. With Thane, it never felt invasive, or risky. The Drell spoke of religion and planets as easily as he talked about his childhood or how he abandoned his family. That wasn't to say that Thane was uncaring about those subjects. It just didn't come across as a big secret he was keeping from Shepard. The monotone voice and small gestures reminded Shepard of a priest at an old Chapel back on the Streets when Shepard had been a child. In general Thane gave off that mentor vibe that helped to make one feel safe and confidential.

Outside his door, Thane stood with his hands behind his back, and bowed his head to the Commander. "I wanted to thank you, Shepard. For assisting me in this business with Kolyat."

"Not a problem, Thane." Reaching out, the pair of them shook hands.

"Still. Not many would go through so much for a stranger's son. They'd deem it too much hassle. I'll admit, I feared you would be the same…" Thane grew quiet, and Shepard had to look away, as if he could avoid the stab of guilt he felt at those words. "But I now realise your crew means a lot to you, Shepard."

Shepard shrugged, as if such an observation should be obvious. "Of course…"

"I know this journey is taking its toll on you. The burden of command is never an easy one to bear. But I do believe no one else could see us through. Never doubt that, Shepard. Or our conviction in you." And then came times like this when Thane said something so profound in such an ordinary way, that Shepard was left speechless as a result. The Drell gave him a small smile. "And for what it's worth, Shepard, you have my thanks."

With that, Thane turned around and headed back into Life Support – possibly to return to his meditations. Shepard stood there in the corridor, unable to move because he couldn't get over his shock. Somewhere inside, another shard of ice began to fracture and break away from the wall he'd built around himself. Since waking up in Cerberus hands, Shepard was almost used to handling everything on his own, of thinking everyone doubted him. Maybe that wasn't the case… maybe he could be just like the old Commander Shepard after all?

Footsteps hurried out of the elevator. A small body came sprinting out of the doors and nearly collided with Shepard. The pair both caught each other's arms to steady themselves, and it wasn't until Shepard caught a flash of purple that he realised it was Tali.

"Shepard! Glad I caught you," the Quarian exclaimed breathlessly. "Do you, erm, mind I speak to you about something?"

A little unsure what had gotten her in such a hurry, the Commander tried to keep himself professional. "Sure Tali, go ahead."

"Right, I wanted to run an upgrade schematic by you. It'll help increase our kinetic barriers exponentially. We can even have it installed when we're at the Citadel."

"You know I'm not very good with all this tech-talk Tali," Shepard winced.

There was an old crinkle in the glow of her eyes behind her mask, as if she were trying to suppress something that amused her. "I know. I remember when we talked back on the original Normandy. I had to stop every two minutes to explain to you what I was talking about."

"So why don't you give this to Miranda? I thought she was supposed to be co-ordinating any ideas for upgrades."

"Yeah but…" She trailed off, wringing her hands.

"But?"

"What? Miranda's not exactly the easiest person to talk to."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "Tali, it's her job. She's not going to turn you down if the idea's good."

Her hands froze, her voice a hurt whisper. "You think it's not good?"

"What? No! that's not what I meant!"

Sinking into a hip, even when her face was obscured from view, she managed to give him _the look._ "Or do you think Miranda might know more about this than me?"

"Well, I wouldn't know," Shepard tried to say, then realised exactly what he said and once again tried to cover that up. "I mean, she–"

"Easy, Shepard. I was only kidding." Tali held up a hand, unable to contain a giggle. Maybe the new Cerberus-built Shepard might've been mad at her for that stunt, but in all truth, he was just a little relieved to see Tali enjoying herself again in front of him like she used to. "Honestly, I just came to you. I never had to report to anyone else on the old Normandy."

"Yeah… yeah, I suppose you're right."

He smiled, and he was almost certain she was smiling behind that mask. Tali then proceeded to call up her omnitool and walked him through step by step what she wanted to upgrade, exactly how it worked, what it would cost and how easy it could be to obtain. More than just a tech-expert, Tali was a great teacher. Shepard remembered all the talks they'd had on the SR1 where Tali would patiently explain to him all parts of Quarian life, culture and history. Any question, she always provided an answer, never getting frustrated or bored.

Maybe neither of them were aware of how much time passed, or how they managed to transition to the wall of the corridor and sat on the floor leaning against it. When finally, Tali's lecture ended, she looked over to Shepard, and asked: "So? You and Miranda?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Miranda and I what?"

"You and Miranda," this time she made sure to put a coy inflection into her voice. "The Commander and the XO. Her just waiting there, ready to do _any_ order asked? Her, with the perfect body, and perfect genes she won't shut up about?"

"Do I detect a hint of hostility, Tali?"

"What? Why would I be hostile to a woman who lords her superiority in my face the same as she thrusts her body around in that overly-tight, ridiculous suit!"

"Ouch…" This was new. The way she tapped her foot seemed to indicate that she was actually a little upset about Miranda. Shepard couldn't stop himself from grinning ever-so-slightly. "Since when did you become so catty?"

"Tell me I'm wrong," she shot back. Shepard shut his mouth. "Exactly. Besides. We all know I flaunt it better."

"Well… I can't argue there."

"See! I knew it. One point to the Quarian."

A dark eyebrow quirked upwards as a devious idea came to Shepard's mind. Yeah, he was definitely starting to feel like his old self, because this was waaaaay too good an opportunity to pass up. "Tell you what, Tali, you might be right. Why don't _you_ be my XO?"

"I ca– Wait, what?" she looked over at him sharply.

"Imagine it, you and me. The Commander and the XO. Lording over the Crew. You just waiting there, ready to do _any_ order I asked? I mean, who wouldn't; what with you proving to everybody you could flaunt it better."

"Well, I… erm, that is – I didn't know you… I mean, I didn't actually try to imply–" she tried to clear her throat, suddenly stuttering all over the place and looking anywhere but at Shepard. "On Quarian ships it's not uncommon for… C-Captain/XO partnerships."

"Oh really?"

"I know. Well, not that I know, but I didn't mean it like that. It's um… Wow, it's really hot in here."

And he couldn't hold it back any longer. It began as a hum, then a giggle, then a chuckle, until the great Commander Shepard was laughing on the floor of his own ship.

"Wait… you were having me on? You Bosh'tet!" she yelled indignantly and swatted him over the shoulder. But he knew she wasn't really mad at him. An instant later she confirmed it when she was laughing right along with him.

"And you're funny too," Shepard managed to say, and his laughter died and his mood suddenly drained away. "Guess I missed a lot in two years, huh…"

Yeah, two years dead. Two years of friends moving on, two years Liara mourned you. The voices whispered malicious reminders in his head. Just another reminder that he'd lost more than time…

A gentle hand touched his shoulder. Slowly, he turned, and beheld Tali's bright and sincere eyes. When she spoke, her voice was soft. "Hey, at least now we've got time to catch up. Most dead people can't say the same."

Despite himself, he chuckled. "True enough."

* * *

 _Scraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaape… Scraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaape… Scraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaape…_

Rhythmically the whetstone carefully made its way down Starfang's edge. The starmetal sang a short song with every stroke. Elaine sat on the table top in the armoury, the blade laid across her lap. Relaxation was what sprang to mind for her as she did the important task. Her weapons needed just as much tender care as her armour or even herself. To do this helped to clear her mind, put her into a trance. Hair allowed down and fall on either side of her face, the blonde curtains hid her from the world, and allowed nothing to enter her mind but the routine sharpening of the blade edge.

She paused momentarily to inspect the sharpness with her thumb. Satisfaction almost cut her open as easily as if she were paper. Starfang almost never grew dull, the blade had not ever needed much care other than to be cleaned and polished. Perhaps it was to do with the metal it had been forged from, for the sword was unequalled in anything she'd ever witnessed before. It was her pride and joy and something she hoped to one day be buried with. She'd lost her family sword during the Blight – a loss that had been harder on her then it should've been. She'd once carried her father's sword with pride, feeling the weight of all Cousland lords power through every swing. It had been one of the last ties she'd had to her family left. The blade had been shattered when she'd fought against Kolgrim at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. The strength of his battleaxe had destroyed her most precious possession, but it wasn't until they'd obtained a pinch of the magical ashes and returned to camp, that she'd taken herself to a secluded spot and allowed herself to cry. Her father's sword was gone. She'd felt distant and adrift, as if with that last memory destroyed, her life at Cousland Castle was a dream already fading. She'd had to make do with a replacement sword from Redcliffe, but it had felt wrong, the balance off in her hand. And then, as if by providence, her companions had been on their way to assist the Dryden boy reclaim Soldier's Peek, when a star had fallen from the sky right in front of them. Within it had been a hunk of ore none of them had ever seen, so they'd brought it with them, and once Soldier's Peek had been settled, Starfang had been born.

Elaine had never needed another weapon since. Nothing felt more right in her hand, or could do the same things as this blade. This sword was hers. Putting the blade down gently, she moved on to her shield, and began to polish it. The silver griffon that blazed along the shield edge glinted with pride under her care. She and Alistair had found the shield in the Grey Warden cache behind Denerim market. It was one of the last things that belonged to Duncan, the man who had taken both Elaine and Alistair under his wing, and brought them into the Grey Wardens. Elaine had thought Alistair would want it, seeing as he'd been closest to Duncan and the most affected by his death. But instead, he'd given it to her, seeing as he already carried the shield that belonged to his brother and father.

 _"_ _I think he'd want you to have it. I don't reckon there's anyone else more deserving of command than you. He'd be proud of the leader you've become. So am I."_ he'd said.

A watery smile spread across her lips. Maker, she missed him, missed them all.

The door to the armoury opened, and in strode Jacob holding two cups. He handed one to her, which Elaine carefully took. Though Jacob was happy just to gulp his down, Elaine sipped at her warm beverage the way her mother always taught her. Jacob gave a hopeful smile. "Tea for the Lady, just how you asked. Cream and precisely one and a half sugars."

Elaine did her best to keep up a smile. "For all the magics I've seen of this new world, it would seem the art of a decent cup of tea eludes you all."

"Ouch – careful with that burn, Elaine." Jacob chuckled, feigning hurt.

Elaine said nothing and went back to her work on her shield. There was silence in the armoury for a while. The Warden stuck to her task determinedly and Jacob pottered about between his console and fiddling with a couple of things. But either Elaine's expression gave her away, or Jacob was very perceptive to the silence. Either way, he eventually turned away from his work to watch her.

"You okay?" she heard him ask.

Her hand stopped its work. "I… I don't know."

"You wanna talk?"

She hesitated. "Jacob… Is it acceptable in this world to act as you see fit? Or is it considered none of your business if that action hampers the decisions made by another?"

Jacob frowned. "I'm not sure I follow…"

"We're going to this place you call 'The Citadel'. Yes?" He nodded. "Well… Garrus has asked that I help him with something – something personal to him. It's something I… I'm not sure how to feel. I want to help him, for I know his pain. But at the same time, I don't want him hurt."

"Something happened?" slowly, he came to lean against the table beside her, though his warm brown eyes never left her.

"When I suggested to Garrus that he find another way to deal with his… _issue_ , he dismissed me. Stormed off. I think he's angry with me for it."

Jacob remained silent for a moment, and eventually sighed with a shrug. "Tough call. I kind of get where he's coming from, though."

"So what do I do?"

"Let the Turian have his space – he'll cool off eventually. I wouldn't think he'd stay mad at you just for having your opinion." He nudged her in a good show of comradery. "You might not like it, but you gotta remember he's an alien. They're not human like you and me. They've got their own way of dealing with things. Best leave 'em to it."

Elaine wanted to protest, for she didn't see the wisdom in letting the situation fester. But there was some semblance of wisdom to Jacob's words, she reasoned. Garrus was a Turian. It was almost as if she'd nearly forgotten that fact what with how close they'd grown as friends. But what if Jacob was right? What if it was wrong of her to expect Garrus to act as a human would? To him, this situation with Sidonis might be handled this way amongst his people. Still, she didn't want to just leave him on this dark path…

"Anyway, don't worry about the Turian. You still got me," Jacob clapped his hands together and jumped up excitedly. "And _I_ got something for you."

Elaine cocked an eyebrow and followed Jacob around to the other side of the table cautiously. He pressed something on one of his consoles, and a draw emerged from beneath the table. Carefully, Jacob brought out Elaine chest plate, the blood-dragon emblazoned boldly across the front. He stepped back and allowed Elaine a closer inspection. She looked it over but saw nothing out of the ordinary, but when she turned it over, inside the armour, sat three hexagonal stones with symbols shining on the top. Elaine gasped. She recognised those symbols – her runes!

"Me and EDI managed to figure out how to move them over – with precise mass effect fields." Jacob grinned. "They're on the inside to prevent damage or–"

Without thought to propriety, Elaine leapt into him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She let out a whoop of joy before hopping back to her feet. Grinning madly from ear to ear, she ran her fingers over the old runes and felt the familiar tingle of their magic race across her skin.

"Oh, Jacob!" she cheered. "Thank you! Maker, this is wonderful! A thousand times, thank you! What would I do without you?"

* * *

Damn it, he was such an ass.

Garrus made his way through the ship almost sheepishly. Looking around for the one person he'd originally thought would be the easiest person to find.

After what happened down in the cargo hold, Garrus had sulked in the battery, losing himself in his calibrations again. Over the course of the day, he'd had time to think, to cool off, and realise he was behaving like a dumb teenager. There was no need to snap at Elaine or act like an asshole. He was so used to Shepard and his ethic of shoot first, that it was frustrating when he encountered someone who ventured for things to reach a peaceful solution. The thought that she might not agree with what he wanted to do to Sidonis… it changed nothing. He still wanted to kill that son of a bitch, but it hurt to think Elaine might not understand. He would've thought out of all people, she would understand the most. She had to know what it was like, when he went to sleep and always saw the same faces… Butler, Ripper, Melenis, Weaver and all the others; how they all stared at him, asking why he hadn't save them… His hand tightened into a fist. No, Elaine had to, she would help him. He knew she would. She might not like it, but he got the impression she wouldn't ever betray a friend.

Yeah, some friend he'd turned out to be. Got one message that reminded him of an old grudge, and he turned all moody. Damn, he couldn't even keep it together long enough to put his head in the game when sparring with her. Guilt seized him as he wondered if she hadn't been joking, what if he _had_ been too rough? And then he'd snapped at her like they weren't even friends at all.

So yeah, he needed to apologise. Sincerely. On his knees.

At first, when he'd finally plucked up the courage to actually go through with it, he'd thought he'd find her in the crew's quarters. But her bunk was empty. Kasumi had also complained about not seeing her at all since the Normandy had arrived on Tuchanka. He'd gone back to the cargo hold, thinking she might have gone back to keep training. Since discovering all the gym equipment, and then being taught how to use most of the higher-tech stuff, it was one of her favourite places to go. But nothing. So then he'd gone to Tali, thinking maybe she and the Quarian were having a little 'girly-time'. But Tali had been just as baffled as to find the Warden as he was. On a whim, he'd even peeked into Grunt's quarters – maybe they were training again? But nope. Grunt had his face as close to a console as he could, completely focused on some sort of extranet search.

So that meant there was only one deck of the ship left to search – for he extremely doubted Elaine was up in Shepard's cabin. Foot tapping on the floor of the elevator as he rode his way up to the CIC, it briefly entered the Turian's mind to simply ask EDI where she was. But no. No, he wasn't that pathetic he would ask the AI where she was exactly. Besides, what with EDI spending a little too much time with Joker, she was beginning to develop a really weird sense of humour.

Doors of the elevator opened, and Garrus tried to act as normally as possible so as not to draw too much attention to himself. Damn it, why did the flesh beneath the plates on his neck suddenly feel too hot? Never mind. He went to go and make his way to the cockpit, when a scent caught his attention, and he stopped.

A floral smell faintly drifted to his senses. Garrus recognised that scent… Lily flowers. He wouldn't ever forget the name of that flower…

After Ashley had died on Virmire, the crew had been hit hard. Shepard worst of all, the Commander didn't leave his room for almost two days as they'd made their way back to the Citadel. Garrus had tried to distract himself by working on the Mako – him and Ashley had never really gotten along, what with her very vocal opinions about aliens and his people in particular. Shepard had managed to keep them separated on missions, right up until they'd reached Virmire. They'd argued about something – something so stupid, Garrus couldn't even remember what it was now. And though they'd both been just as bad as the other, Garrus had said some pretty nasty things when the Alliance woman had taken it just a step too far.

 _"_ _Maybe if your grandfather had had a spine, your people wouldn't have such a gripe over the cluster-fuck that was Shanxi! And your over-compensation for it is just as pathetic."_

It was wrong. He'd known it was wrong the moment he'd said the words. But being the stubborn, prideful fool that he was, he'd been too hot-headed in the moment to apologise. Shepard had punished him by sending him back to the Normandy. Garrus had figured he'd apologise to both the Commander and Ash when they got back.

And then she died. She'd never returned from Virmire, and Garrus had been so plagued by guilt he couldn't even attend the squad-meeting afterwards. He'd tried to lose himself in work – just like he always did – anything to try and stop him thinking about it, to stop his hands from shaking. And then Kaidan had come by the cargo-hold, and he'd put a simple flower at Ashley's work station, the tracks of tears still raw on his face. Garrus had taken a look once the human had left. His omni-tool told him it was an earth flower, traditionally used in some human-cultures as a flower to honour and mourn the dead. Garrus had quietly said a prayer at that work station that had somehow become an alter with that flower there. He'd offered words to Ashley, that long-overdue apology, and had hoped that she was at peace somewhere.

But he'd never forgotten the scent of the lily-flower Kaidan had left behind. Usually, he thought most human perfumes and flowers smelled rather odd, but that lily… That had smelled sweet and sincere (if a plant could be sincere). And he'd only just begun to recognise that Elaine smelled so similar. He didn't know if it was a perfume she wore, or some soap to wash her hair, or if it was her natural musk. He'd only begun to notice when they'd started to be comfortable being close together. And he recognised it now as something so uniquely her.

Following the scent, he turned the corner towards the armoury. She must be looking after her weapons, he thought. Practical as ever. Three strides had him across the small corridor. But before he could reach for the release button to open the doors to the armoury, he heard a small noise. Soft voices. Elaine's voice. Jacob's voice. They were talking; softly, reverently. Garrus paused, and despite all his good sense, hung back to listen.

"So what do I do?" he heard Elaine ask in a small voice.

"Let the Turian have his space – he'll cool off eventually. I wouldn't think he'd stay mad at you just for having your opinion." Came Jacob's voice with a smugness to it that had Garrus's teeth on edge. "You might not like it, but you gotta remember he's an alien. They're not like you and me. They've got their own way of dealing with things. Best leave 'em to it."

He didn't know why, but Garrus suddenly felt angry. His hand tightened into a fist, and he wanted nothing more than to charge in and punch Jacob and his overly-large teeth. This was exactly what he expected from Cerberus. Put up as many differences between aliens as possible. Treat him like a _thing_. And what did he mean by ' _not like you and me'_?! The human seemed to miss the point that Garrus was as much of a male as Jacob. And the human had nothing in common with Elaine! She was fierce and loyal, and she inspired those around her to do better than they were.

And what exactly are you, Vakarian? Asked a tiny, nasty voice in the back of his mind, one that sounded suspiciously like his father. A walking failure. A Bad Turian who couldn't rise high enough through the military despite his impressive skill, because he had too much attitude. A wannabe Spectre who never made the cut. A rejected C-Sec officer burnt past his prime. And now a Vigilante who's only success was getting his whole team killed. You're a turian – not even the same species! Yes, he had _loads_ in common with Elaine.

"Anyway, don't worry about the Turian. You still got me," Jacob's voice brought Garrus back to reality but did nothing to cool his temper. "And _I_ got something for you."

Garrus didn't want to hear any more. He didn't want to hear Jacob's smugness. He didn't want to imagine the human putting his arms all over Elaine, of looking at her like she was a challenge he needed to conquer. He'd heard the way Jacob spoke about women, of his previous sexual experiences. He saw them as prizes to be won, trophies to add to a collection. It angered Garrus to think that Jacob might do something like that to Elaine. Elaine might know exactly what Jacob's game was and was a more than willing participant. But Garrus didn't want someone to hurt her. She was a good friend, and she was knew to seemingly everything – even modern human culture. What if she was innocent of Jacob's intentions? She might put her heart in him, after all, from what Garrus understood, Jacob was a good-looking member of his species. And then if she got her feelings stamped on? No, that was too much! That was the reason he was so angry.

But there was little he could do. He already looked like an asshole after the way he behaved earlier. And Jacob had only cemented that idea in Elaine's mind. If Garrus went in there, fists at the ready, it wouldn't matter how pure his intentions were to protect his friend's honour – he would come across as a freak ready to beat up whoever happened to cross his path.

Yet he wouldn't stand here and listen to anymore. Let Elaine make her choice. She was a grown woman. It had nothing to do with him.


	20. The Witch

Joker had called Elaine up to meet him as soon as she was ready to depart. The entire crew was abuzz with going to the Citadel. Shepard had declared that whilst he had several things to attend to at the Citadel, the crew were to restock and fit in new upgrades, whilst the ground-party were on shore-leave in between. Kasumi and Tali had already cornered and roped Elaine into going shopping with them. The Warden had doned her armour and weapons, for she never wanted to leave the ship without them on hand unless specifically told it was safe to do otherwise.

When she arrived at the cockpit, she'd initially wondered what Joker had wanted her to see. He'd only said: 'I just remembered you've never seen any of this before…'

And then the Normandy had come to a star – a blue shining star with two towers adorning it. Spinning rings captured the blue star, dashing the light into a staccato rhythm like the rapid blink of an eye. It was one of the most beautiful things Elaine had ever seen, and as they grew closer towards it, it grew larger and larger. Until as they approached the star from behind, she stood slack-jawed at the sheer enormity of it! Never in all her life had she seen a construct so huge. As the ship drew close, blue lightning forked out to meet them, to curl around them and draw them in as a fisherman would his catch. An ever so slight shake rumbled the ship, and Elaine could've sworn she heard the distinct hum of lyrium surround them. And then, everything outside the windows began to stretch and morph, and then suddenly it was gone! A tunnel enveloped them, and then a moment later they had shot out of the other side.

Joker had laughed hysterically at her face the entire time. He explained that the blue star was called a Mass Relay, and that there was a formation of them dotted throughout the stars that connected to each other. It was these relays that allowed for instant travel over such vast distances that would otherwise take them centuries to traverse. Elaine couldn't help but feel daunted at the wonderous feats of magic in this new world.

And then, they'd come across another sight. Amongst the stars, half concealed within a purple cloud floating in space, came another huge structure. Elaine had thought the Mass Relay was huge, but this thing dwarfed it. A circular centre with five wide stretching arms open like a venus-fly-trap, ready to ensnare all who dared to enter. As they approached, the structure grew and grew, until Elaine could make out tiny points of light that glittered like a thousand candles in windows. On closer inspection, she realised there _were_ windows. And buildings. The same kind of towers of glass and iron that had inhabited Illium stretched along the great arms of the structure. Joker steered the Normandy towards the central ring, in the middle of which stood a single tall tower.

There was now no doubt in Elaine's mind. This was the Citadel.

Shepard, and other members of the crew all joined her at the door leading out. Several of them had errands of their own to attend to. Kasumi and Tali managed to find Elaine and sandwiched her between them so as to ensure she wouldn't escape. Once outside the ship, the girls managed to catch a shuttle with Shepard and Thane, to a place on the Citadel called 'Zakera Ward'. The way the others explained it to Elaine, the Citadel acted as a capital city for the allied races, and the wards were separate districts with that city. The Presidium was the inner ring, and that was where the powerful leaders and the rich resided.

When they finally disembarked, Elaine felt like a child again, gawking at everything around her as she had done when she'd first walked through Illium. Such grandeur in the buildings, the lights of many colours, the magnitude of different people all swarming around her. Just the sheer size of this place, how it floated in space without soil and ground to keep it firm like a planet. It was man-made world, she realised. Someone built this, it did not naturally form. Her heart couldn't stop racing.

"By the Maker… Are you sure we are not in the Golden City?" she murmured in awe.

Tali turned and gave her a look. "What?"

Elaine waved her off as if to say 'never-mind'.

They passed by crowds waiting in front of a desk where guards were stationed. Elaine could tell because of their matching uniforms – blue on black – and their militaristic posture and way of addressing civilians. It would seem they were making sure new visitors to the Citadel were not harbouring ill intentions, by interrogating and rifling through possessions. Shepard made to walk right past the que. Elaine had to wonder if he had been here before and was therefore allowed uninterrupted entry – which seemed likely as the others of their group went to automatically follow him – or if he was that much of a bad-boy, he didn't care. As they passed a group of humans on their right, a loud voice caught hold of Elaine's attention and she found her feet coming to a stop.

"This, recruits, is a 20-kilo ferrous slug. Feel the weight." Said a soldier, a commanding officer if his tone of voice was any indication, paced in front of two of his subordinates. "Every five seconds, the main gun of an Everest class dreadnaught accelerates 1 to 1.3 percent of lightspeed. It impacts with the force of a 38 kiloton bomb – that is 3 times the yield of the city buster dropped on Hiroshima back on Earth. That means: Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in space! Now, serviceman Burnside, what is Newton's first law?"

"Sir! An object in motion, stays in motion, sir!"

"No credit for partial answers, maggot!"

"Sir! Unless acted on by an outside force, sir!"

Elaine's head whipped back and forth as she avidly followed the conversation. She did not know what half their phrases meant, but it was entertaining to watch how the military might of this new universe operated. So different when compared to her own.

The Commanding Officer nodded. "Damn straight! I dare to assume you ignorant jackasses know that space is empty. Once you fire this hunk of metal, it keeps going till it hits something! That can be a ship, or the planet _behind_ that ship. It might go off into deep-space and hit somebody else in 10,000 years! If you pull the trigger on this, you are ruining someone's day, at somewhere at sometime! _That_ is why you check your damn targets! _That_ is why you wait for the computer to give you a damn firing solution! _That_ is why, serviceman Chung, we do not _EYEBALL_ it! This is a weapon of mass destruction! You are NOT a cowboy shooting from the hip!"

The Chung-soldier quivered in his boots. "Sir! Yes sir!"

Kasumi's voice whispered in the Warden's ear. "Elaine, come on." Hands wrapped around Elaine's soldiers and hastily steered her away back towards the doors Shepard was waiting at.

"Wait," said Elaine, "but I want to hear about this hero, Ser Newton. He must be a fearsome warrior to be the deadliest man in space!"

" _Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah_ , maybe later."

They approached the doors, Shepard rolling his eyes at the delay to his journey. As they made to go through the doors, they passed by the human guardsman at the desk speaking with a Turian. "You'll have to wait for the next shuttle."

"You made me miss the last one!" the turian snapped. Judging by the downward pull of his mandibles to show his teeth, and the scrunching of his brow-plates, he was considerably angry about something.

The guardswoman gave him a deadpan look. "You needed to go through security."

"Why are you treating me like a criminal?!"

"Because you tried to bring a fifteen-centimetre serrated bl–" the guardswoman suddenly stopped, her eyes catching on Elaine. Immediately she abandoned the turian and reached out as if to seize hold of her. "Hey! Excuse me, Ma'am! You can't go in there with that!"

Elaine stopped, forcing Kasumi to stop with her, as she turned to fully face the guard. "I beg your pardon?"

"Ma'am, you are carrying what looks to be a 125cm weapon onto the Citadel! I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to confiscate it. Please hand it over."

"No," was the Warden's curt reply. "This is my wea–"

And then all she could see was Shepard's back as he stepped in front of her and glowered down at the guardswoman. "Officer, I hereby grant this woman permission to keep custody of that sword. Spectre authority."

Uncertain of what to do, whether it be the words Shepard used or the tone of his voice, it made her stutter and hesitate. "Well, I… I mean, I-I…"

"You mean you would hinder the rights of my people's ancient traditions, but you won't stop your fellow human who's clearly carrying a weapon?!" snarled the turian she'd been previously conversing with. He turned to the other aliens behind him, arms spread like a preacher. "Don't you see?! These humans are all racist!"

"Look, okay!" snapped the guardswoman to the aliens before they could get any wind beneath their sails. Deliberation overcame her eyes, and she turned back to Shepard and Elaine with a hard stare. "I can't argue with a Spectre. You can take your blade. But I must insist you keep it sheathed in all public spaces. If any officer sees you withdraw that weapon even once amongst the public…"

The Warden held up a hand. "No need for the warning, guardsman. I understand."

Finally with that done, they were allowed entry onto Zakera Ward. If the lights and people had impressed Elaine on the outside, it was nothing compared to the inside. She was awestruck by such spectacle, it was unlike anything she'd seen in all her life. Even more so than what she'd seen of this new universe so far.

Tali and Kasumi immediately tried to pull Elaine along before her staring could cause her to come to another standstill. But right behind them came Shepard's voice. "Where do you ladies think you're going?"

Kasumi already had a smile in place as she twisted her hips to look back at the Commander. "We're technically on shore leave, Shep. Us girls are off doing a little shopping!"

"Right," he drawled, as if already bored. Those dark eyes switched to the Warden. "Elaine, Garrus wanted you with us when we go after Fade. I've left him to scope the place out whilst I help Thane with his business first. When I send the word, you meet us down in the Neon Markets. You got that?"

"Don't worry, Shepard, we'll make sure she's there." Tali reassured.

Reluctantly, the Commander nodded, and turned back away with Thane to address the other workstations of the guardsmen on this side of the entrance. Elaine didn't get to see much more of them, as the pressing mass of bodies enveloped the three girls into the crowd, and they were swept away.

Elaine was whisked away on a blurring journey of exploration around the ward. She saw lines of flying carriages awaiting passengers, displays of gardens filled with plant-life she'd never seen before, and even an array of lights that made the vision of a naked purple asari that could even speak to you. Tali and Kasumi hurried Elaine past such sights and wonders, not giving the Warden enough time to even formulate questions about each new thing she saw. They pulled her into shop after shop, and once more Elaine was confused by the strange ritual this universe seemed to perform. The merchandise was once again just pictures on a console, and there was no trading of coins, yet she was assured payment was made. Of Kasumi had them all go to a clothes store first. She wanted Elaine to try on dresses, though the Warden was very confused as to why, as there was no occasion planned that she knew of where she might need one. Tali, seeing as she couldn't buy actual clothes, looked instead for upgrades she could incorporate into her suit. Other shops Tali insisted they go to for more of her strange technology. And one shop was supposed to sell hunting experiences – but with the owner wanting more to re-enact the hunt for them, the three ladies only ended up in fits of laughter.

Along their journey, they even ran into a few small troubles of their own. Nothing that needed a fight to sort it out. Just a Krogan who wanted to know if there were fish in the lakes, or a couple of asari who were stranded on the Citadel due to some outrageous rules. One situation in particular stood out in memory. The girls had been on their way to get something for lunch, when they'd walked past a fat dwarf in a suit – a Volus – accusing a young Quarian girl of stealing from him. Tali had gotten extremely angry at the situation, and Elaine had been able to tell right from the start the girl was innocent of the crime. The three of them had then gone above and beyond to prove her innocent. And as the Volus had waddled away, head held low and tail tuked between his legs after the verbal lashing Elaine had given him, Kasumi had decided to steal his Credit Chit while his back was turned – _just to teach him one final lesson_.

It was with proud smiles on their faces that they finally sat down to at a stall that served what Elaine read to be 'noodles'. She didn't know exactly what that was, and so became a little wary. The last time she'd tried unfamiliar cooking had been when Oghren had attempted to cook for camp 'hearty-dwarven-food'. He'd given the entire group food poisoning for three days.

The sat down at their stools, Kasumi giving some sort of hand signal to the waiter whilst proudly proclaiming, "You'll love it here, girls! The noodles are just to die for!"

"I'll have to take your word for that…" Tali muttered sourly.

"Oh, no problem, Tali – they sell Dextro versions too."

The server soon appeared with three boxes in hand and pushed one to each of them. "Three house specials – one Dextro. For three lovely ladies!"

Kasumi's hooded smile was practically sultry. "Thanks, hunny… I'm sure we'll be back for more."

The man blushed and kept glancing at the master-thief as he turned away to see to his other customers. Tali and Elaine gave said-thief a look. "Must you flirt with everyone?"

"Elaine, darling, flirting is only _half_ the fun." Kasumi purred. "Oh come on, girls! Don't tell me you're both old maids!"

"What's an old maid?" Tali whispered.

Elaine sighed. "A spinster. A woman who has either been ignored or has herself ignored the prospect of marriage for so long she has passed her prime time to conceive."

"What a horrible thing! To give a label like that, and for _that_ reason!"

"I agree," Kasumi leant her chin onto her fist, whilst her two pointed sticks played with her noodles. "But have you, Tali? You know, ignored the prospect?"

"I don't want to get married!"

"No, I meant, have you met no one who sparks your interest?"

If it were possible, Elaine could've sworn she might be able to see a blush on the Quarian's cheeks behind her mask. "Well, I – erm, that is… I wouldn't really say I have…"

"Oh, she so has!" crowed Kasumi.

Elaine grinned as best she could with a mouthful of actually tasty chicken-flavoured noodles. "Is it that Reeger man?"

"How did you even remember his name?" asked Tali.

"It was my job to remember a lot of little stuff – like names."

"Well, the answer is no," huffed Tali, who then averted her eyes down into her noodles that she wasn't even attempting to eat. "I never flirted with Reeger, there… there just never was a right time. And I'm sure I wasn't his type."

"What about you, Elaine?" asked Kasumi. "What men have caught your eye? Wait – are you even into men?"

"Yes, Kasumi, I'm interested in men." The warden rolled her eyes with a good-natured smile. "And no. There have been none to catch my eye."

"You're serious? Out of all the gorgeous men we surround ourselves with 24/7, NONE of them suit your fancy?"

"Well, I would definitely say Shepard is not my type. I would prefer a man who is more light-hearted, who is…"

"Less of an ass?" supplied Tali.

"You said it, not me." Snorted Elaine. "Jacob, I don't believe is looking for romance. And Joker is more in love with the ship than anyone else. I've never spoken to any of the crewmen for long enough to judge them."

"What about the others?"

"Others?

Kasumi gave her a look. "Errr, yeah? The aliens on board. Heaven knows there's a lot of them."

"Is… is that even allowed?" Elaine dared to ask with wide eyes. When both Tali and Kasumi seemed to send her a glare from either side, she immediately threw up her hands in surrender, now realising how bad that sounded. "No! Don't look at me like that! I swear, I didn't mean it in that way! I just… I didn't know if it was some sort of social rule to stick to your own race?"

"That happen where you're from?"

"Well, romances can happen between races, such as humans and elves… but it's usually frowned upon by both sides of society. I've always said to let them love whom they love. You cannot stop chemistry, after all." She shrugged. "But, I thought it would be different here. On Thedas, those kinds of affairs were done, but we were all fairly the same… _anatomy_ -wise. When you have people from different _planets…_ "

"You do get some squeamish jerks who call it _bestiality_ ," Kasumi said. "But for the most part everyone ignores them. I mean, look at the Asari! They actively encourage each other to mate outside of their species."

Tali nodded. "The rules are, so long as we're sentient, consenting adults, what does it matter how many fingers, toes, or tentacles you have? So long as both parties are safe and its all mutually agreed on, it's all good."

"It never occurred to me like that before…" Elaine mumbled, for truly it hadn't. Though she thought of the aliens as much as people as she did her fellow humans, she hadn't looked at them purposefully in that way. That wasn't to say she didn't find anything physically attractive about them in their own way, for example, she knew that Thane's chiselled body build was very impressive. It was almost a relief to realise this universe was not nearly as prudish as Thedas had been. "I was just so nervous about breaking some sort of rule,"

"Don't sweat it, Elaine," Kasumi bumped her shoulder affectionately. "Look at this way – we just gave you a WHOLE bigger ocean to pick your fish."

Tali cocked her head. "I still don't understand that human saying…"

They enjoyed the rest of their noodles. The chatter continued between all three of them easily. When their food was done, they were off again to explore some more. They made a stop by a store that sold some toy models of ships, and Elaine became fascinated by the intricate details that she had to stop and stare at them a while. She wondered what Oren would think if he'd lived to see this with her, she thought sadly. The young boy had always been curious, always asking questions, and always showed interest in the grandest of things. He would have been swept away in this fantastically unbelievable tale of ships that sailed through stars and battling monsters from other worlds. He would've loved to own a toy of one of those ships, Elaine decided. So swept up in her nostalgic melancholy was she, that she nearly impulsively bought one of the toy ships. But the illusion was shattered for her with the realisation that she would happily buy presents for each member of her family, only for it to adorn her cramped living space to await ghosts that would never come.

Now thoroughly depressed, Elaine went to move on, to catch up with her friends, when she turned and realised she couldn't see them. Turning and looking all about, she searched, but could not find the familiar figures of either Tali or Kasumi anywhere. Going on a whim, she started off in a random direction, pushing her way through the crowds in an attempt to see if she'd been lucky and might still spot them. Climbing onto her tip toes, she tried to see over peoples heads, but saw nothing but endless people. She twisted back, maybe she'd gone the wrong way?

Not watching where she was going, it was inevitable for to finally crash into someone else. First her shin met resistance, and then her chest collided with another. Stumbling back a step, she was already apologising before she even acknowledged the poor soul she'd bumped into. "Excuse me, I–"

The words died on Elaine's lips as she stared at the woman before her. Though she was dressed in regal-red asari clothes, and her white hair was combed and gathered back into a bun, she would still recognise that face. Those same angular but strongly defined features, the same straight-cut nose, those same cuttingly sharp deep red lips. But most of all, it was those same supernatural golden eyes that shone as if lit from within. Elaine gaped, certain her fragile mind was playing tricks on her. Blood thundered through her eyes as fast as her heartbeat in her veins. She was frozen to the spot with uncertainty due to this illusion.

And then the vision proved its grip on reality when it opened its mouth and spoke with the familiar deep purr of a voice and the cock of a smirk. "Well, well… what have we here?"

Flemeth…

A shuddering breath rushed out of Elaine's lungs and she stumbled away further. "No… no it can't be! I killed you!"

Flemeth's smile grew wider with amusement. "Oh, you did indeed, dear girl. But did you think that was the end? You didn't think I'd laid all my eggs in one basket, did you?"

"Are you really here? Do they see you too?" Elaine whispered, daring to look around at the other civilians walking past, to see if they were giving her odd looks. Maker, was she truly going mad? First dreams of an Archdemon, and now she was being haunted in daylight by old enemies?

"Who knows what others see? Perhaps to them you're conversing with an Asari matriarch, or maybe you're debating with a Hanar. Or maybe you're just gawking at nothing."

"That does it. You're just a figment of my over-tired imagination." Squeezing her eyes shut, Elaine clamped her hands over her ears, willing the aberration to vanish. "I shall not listen!"

"Forgotten your own ways so quickly?" tutted the old crone. "Close one's eyes, or close one's ears, either way…"

"One's a fool…" Elaine opened her eyes, as the familiar words left her lips on a whisper.

"So you _do_ remember. Good to know."

Very well then. This was not some vision. This was real. Elaine wasn't sure what frightened her more. Whilst it was true that Flemeth had done nothing to harm Elaine – in fact she'd helped her and saved her life when otherwise she would have surely perished. But Flemeth had proved to be an enemy of Morrigan, whom had been Elaine's friend at the time. What if the Witch wanted vengeance for Elaine murdering her? "You died at your hut, witch. I made sure you were dead."

"Yes, dancing to Morrigan's lovely tune, as you were." Flemeth rolled her eyes with a sweep of her hand. "I raised that girl to be as she was. Did you honestly think I wouldn't expect her to try something like that? I knew she'd send you to kill me, I anticipated her every move. So I cut a small piece of myself away, so as to live on to see another day."

"That does not explain how you are here! I don't know whether this is our future, or if we're on some other universe. But neither of those are plausible as to how you could possibly survive to be here."

Slowly, Flemeth's semi-permanent smirk shrank until it appeared almost forlorn. "Me? I am but a shadow, lingering in the sun. A wisp of smoke that has barely survived longer than the fire. I have drifted through eons and countless worlds, drifting until I found this moment, and here it is – at last."

"So it is true? We are in the future?"

"We are indeed. One thousand and five hundred years past the time of the Dragon Age."

She'd once thought the truth would comfort her, but all it did was punch the Warden in the gut like a Qunari with a bad attitude. She felt winded, the ground unstable beneath her feet. To realise she was so far ahead in time… no one she once knew would be alive. They would all be dead, every last one, perhaps even the very mention of her name would be faded to nothing from the history books.

"But… how am I here?" she whispered. And then anger flooded her veins as she fixed Flemeth with a vehement gaze. Though she had no proof and she knew it was reckless to tempt the witch to anger, she could not resist. Somewhere in her gut, she just _knew_ all of this, the blame fell on Flemeth and her kin. "I know some magic has brought me here, Flemeth! I killed the Archdemon. I was meant to die, yet I awoke here. How is that possible? And no riddles, old woman! I know that if anyone knows what has happened to me, it would be the infamous Witch of the Wilds."

"Ah! Now there is a tale worthy to be told!" laughed the crone heartily. "You already know how you survived. Morrigan told you of the plan to prevent your death, did she not?"

"No, I refused the Dark Ritual!"

"You may have refused, but that doesn't mean _he_ did."

"What do you…?" Elaine trailed off, her eyes swimming wide as realisation dawned. " _Alistair?!_ No! He would never–"

"Would never make that sacrifice to save the woman he loved?" that infuriating smirk was back when the words caused Elaine's mouth to snap shut. "Oh, don't give me that look, child. Could you have been so completely blind as to not see the man devote himself to you with every fibre of his being? He overheard your little chat with Morrigan and took fate into his own hands. Didn't you tell him to look out for himself and his own interests?"

"I don't believe it. He hated Morrigan."

"That he did. But he still performed the ritual because he wanted nothing more than to save your life. Imagine it, however: the mighty hero slays the Archdemon! The smoke clears and the King searches for her, to proclaim his love at the apex of victory… only to find her gone. I believe he hunted Morrigan quite ferociously for that perceived betrayal."

Elaine's head swam. Alistair had _loved_ her? For how long? Why? She'd never once suspected… she hadn't thought… No. He was her best friend. And she couldn't let her mind be distracted with theories and 'maybe's right now. "But the ritual was meant–"

"To take the soul of the Old God, to preserve Urthemiel himself away from the taint. And indeed, it was snatched away from the jaws of darkness, preserved in the body of the son Morrigan carried – where _you_ were carried as well."

The world almost fell away as Elaine felt her stomach twist to the point she thought she was going to puke. In the back of her mind, she could faintly hear an echo of the Archdemon's voice inside her skull, the words on repeat ever since her nightmare… She dared not ask it. She couldn't give voice to the fear – the _terror_ – now seizing hold of her body. If she'd escaped death by being sucked away with Urthemiel, that must mean they'd come through together – he was possessing her even now!

"But how did I... How am _I_ here?" Elaine struggled to ask through the lump in her throat that threatened to make her vomit on her own boots.

"Well, that is simple, dear girl. I sent you here."

"What…? How?!"

"Oh! Don't act so surprised. I nudge history, where it is required. Other times, a shove is needed." Flemeth chuckled. "I managed to acquire that soul from Morrigan's boy. You can guess my surprise when I realised _your_ soul laid within. Is it fate, or chance, I asked myself. I can never decide these things, you see. I decided to let the dice roll as they would fall. I cast your soul through the Eluvians – Morrigan did mention those, didn't she?"

"She did… once, I think…" Ancient magical objects the old Elves had used, right?

"And so you were sent adrift through time and space. I know not what brought you back, or why you are here. But something must have summoned you, and here we meet at last. Curious coincidence, don't you think?"

"Nothing is a coincidence where you're concerned!" Elaine hissed between her teeth. "If we are in the future, then where is Thedas?! Where is my home?!"

"Now we come to the real heart of the problem," suddenly Flemeth's voice seemed to drop from its friendly amusement, and became a base-growl.

"More riddles?"

"What fun would there be otherwise? It is so rare I get to have a little fun with mortals these days," this time the smile showed off more teeth than was necessary. After a moment it vanished, and Elaine could've sworn Flemeth's strange gold eyes grew as intense as twin fires. "You wish to discover the truth? Return then, to Thedas. Uncover the history long since silenced. Head south, into the Dales, the land that was promised in the midst of chaos and then taken by fire, where slaves were made men. Despite what you may believe, it shall be a sight of beauty, that I can promise you. Open the door, as only you can. Brush away the mystery, pull back the night… and all shall be made clear."

The words echoed in Elaine's ears. Like a drumbeat they resounded in her very being until she was sure they'd left an impression on her soul that meant she would never forget them. Perhaps it was some spell, or some magical clue that would reveal itself at the right time. Either way, it left her breathless… and with only one question remaining.

"Why are you telling me all this?"

Flemeth smiled no more. "You haven't guessed yet? Don't these eyes look familiar to you?"

And then she snatched hold of Elaine's wrist. Despite all her warrior's strength, Elaine felt as powerless as a child in the clutch of an ogre. Flemeth pulled her forward, and dragged the warden until they were almost nose to nose. Elaine could stare at nothing but those eyes… and then she seemed to recognise the shape of those eyes… the fleck of brown at their centre… the familiar red power on her eyelids. Horror eclipsed her as she realised the old and wizened face was now so familiar to her that it filled her with both deep anger and extreme grief.

"That's right," whispered Flemeth. "For all yours and Morrigan's planning, I still had my due in the end. It took me some time, but that boy of hers granted me the key to her heart and soul. Your _sisterly_ interactions had quite the effect on her. But I warned her: let me have the lad and she would be free of me forever. Or keep him and love him as she would, and I would hunt her to the ends of the earth. You would've been proud of her choice…"

For all the anger Elaine had harboured towards Morrigan over her betrayal… it faded away now as she stared into the face that had once belonged to her beloved friend, now grown old and worn and used by another. Grief and misery replaced it within her breast, to think that Morrigan had done what she did, and ended with such a fate… Tears welled in the Warden's eyes, and she was almost unresponsive as Flemeth dropped her hand and turned away.

"Wait!" came a strangled cry from her throat.

But Flemeth passed into the crowd. For a single moment, her form was obscured from sight, and when the crowd moved again she was nowhere to be found. In the blink of an eye, the Witch of the Wilds had vanished.

* * *

 **Author's Note: If you can't tell, my usual head-cannon is an Alistair/f!Cousland romance as King and Queen - sorry, I'm a sucker for fairytale-esque happy endings.**

 **And sorry there's not more to this chapter, but I had a busy past week, coming home and then it was my birthday over the weekend - Yay! but I hope this is enough to wet your appetite for what is to come. If thing's weren't AU enough, I will assure you things will get more AU as we progress through this storyline. I'm meshing these two universes together as best as I can, trying to remain faithful to whatever lore I can find on certain subjects as well as incorporate leading fan-theories and my own speculations. Obviously with DA4 now confirmed, there is a chance I might not have finished this story or its planned sequel before it arrives. As such, if DA4 does come along and completely squashes whatever I'm building up to, that's just going to have to be the way the dice rolls, as Flemeth would say. When things DO go a bit wonky (and you'll know when they do) from cannon, it will be my own thing.**

 **So anyway, enough with the rambling. I hope you all enjoyed it, please review! Next week: the hunt for Fade!**


	21. The Archangel

Grief had Elaine wander away to some secluded, dirty corner of the street, and she had knelt on the floor and wept. She wept for grief of her family, who's graves she would never tend to. She wept for Fergus, whom she now knew she would never see again – she hadn't even been there to tell him of what had happened to their family, and to hold him as their mourned together. She wept for her friends and comrades that she'd come to depend on, whom she'd guarded and guided, and would now never see what became of them. Her tears came for Alistair, for abandoning him in the role of King she'd bestowed on him, and for leaving him bitter with heartache over her death. Most of all she wept for Morrigan, for the friend she'd turned away in both their hour of need. Guilt seized hold of her, to think if she might've saved her friend from her fate if she had just listened on that fateful night. To think that Morrigan had not betrayed her, had carried Elaine with her all through her life, and had taken with her the lessons Elaine had taught of the importance of honour, friendship and family. What if she'd died alone, as Flemeth possessed her body and destroyed her soul? Flemeth had mentioned a boy… Morrigan's son… She'd done it for him. When she'd finally been caught at the end of the road, to save her son, she gave her life. Flemeth was right, Elaine could not be prouder of her, and it made her cry harder.

In lonely suffering, she wondered how long her soul had been sent drifting through the ancient magical mirrors – the Eluvians. Time had passed in a blink for her, but 1500 years had flown by her unawares. Everything was gone. Unless there was some magic to reverse the process, she would never see _home_ again. It left her like a drowning man cast adrift in an ocean. An incredible heartache opened inside her, to realise she was truly all alone in this massive, empty future-world. A small voice tried to raise her spirits, whispered that perhaps not all hope was lost. Maybe Flemeth's riddles had a ring of truth to them, and that if she found her way back to Thedas somehow, she could still return. Flemeth had said 'all will be made clear'. It was one last desperate straw that she grasped onto with all her remaining sanity.

At some point – she knew not how much time had passed as she sat there – Shepard had finally summoned her. It was strange to see the black bracelet omnitool make a small flashing light appear. Hesitantly, she'd touched it, and found a letter in magical-glowing form appear before her. It told her where to meet Garrus and Shepard, and to be there soon.

For only a moment did she hesitate to move. For a brief second, her grief threatened to pull her back under into another prolonged fit of self-pity. But then she remembered who she was – she was Elaine Cousland, last child of Bryce and Eleanor Cousland, Commander of the Grey Wardens of Ferelden, leader of the united armies, Hero of the Fifth Blight. She would not cower away. She would hold her head high even as her heart remained shattered on the floor. Later, in the safety of her own bed, she would mourn. Right now, she needed the distraction, something to help focus her. And Garrus was a friend in need. She would pull herself together for him, and see this done.

Almost in a trance, she managed to find her way to the meeting place. As she walked, her distracted mind just managed to take notice of the many guards watching her closely. What had Tali called them? C-Sec? Elaine remembered the woman at the Citadel entrance – the guards must've been told to keep a close eye on her when in public, ready to pounce the moment she placed a step wrong. Thankfully, they didn't follow her all the way to Shepard. Neither of her companions made no mention of her condition. The marks of tears upon her face had been cleaned away as best she could. Yet something in her face must have spoken of the child inside her wailing with sorrow, for Shepard watched her with concern for a good while as they made their way towards the meeting with Fade. What they found was a Volus and two Krogan body guards. Shepard and Garrus quickly convinced them to leave, Elaine's sword pointed at the Volus's throat stopped him from attempting a quick escape. He'd promptly spilled his guts with all the information they needed. The Volus wasn't Fade, just an employee who served as a face. Fade was actually a human man called Harkin – Garrus and Shepard spoke as if they knew him, and not in a friendly manner.

With the location to find Harkin/Fade in hand, they'd promptly left and made their way via flying-carriage towards a factory district. Garrus and Shepard discussed amongst themselves what to do to corner Harkin, but Elaine remained silent throughout the journey. Her mind remained distracted on what Flemeth had told her. Had her friends mourned her as she now mourned them, she wondered. Had they gone through their whole lives wondering what happened?

With a jolt like awakening from slumber, she was pulled back to the present when they arrived at Fade's hideout. Harkin, a balding man with a withering face, had been speaking with some of his Blue-Suns guards when they'd arrived. The man had seemed to recognise Shepard and Garrus, for he'd panicked and fled, leaving his soldiers to try and keep the intruders at bay. At the mere sight of the Blue-Suns, Garrus's anger had seemed to climb a little higher, his agitation taking hold. From what Elaine gathered through snippets of conversation she heard from Shepard and Garrus, the Blue-Suns were an outlaw group, one of the ones Garrus had rebelled against on Omega – and in particular, they were the ones who had given him his scars.

The guards on the front doors were easily dispatched, and the fight helped to bring Elaine's head back into the game for a little while. Once inside the enormous factory – so large she reckoned a High Dragon could nest comfortably within – they had to fight through a seemingly endless legion of Blue Suns soldiers. They were determined to either kill them or bide Harkin some time. Elaine led the group, taking out the foot soldiers with ease whilst Garrus and Shepard whittled down the invisible shields that protected the higher ranked officers. As they travelled through the factory, Elaine's mind wandered again, wondering if she should really be here? Why was she here? What had Flemeth meant when she said Elaine had been 'summoned'?

The distraction almost cost her dearly. A bullet from a Blue Sun with a weapon similar to Garrus's had cleaved right through her own invisible shields, and then a second shot had grazed her arm. Pain made the Warden roll behind the safety of cover, hissing and cursing under her breath. Garrus had stormed right past her on his crusade to vanquish anyone that stood in his way. He completely ignored her. It was Shepard who came to her side and gave her his magical-healing-liquid from his omnitool to stop the bleeding and dull the pain. It was just a scratch and she was back on her feet in no time. But still, she was gobsmacked at how Garrus had coldly strolled right past her, so set on his vengeance he'd dismissed a friend in need – or worse hadn't even realised. It didn't matter that the wound wasn't anything serious in the slightest. The Garrus she had come to know had watched out for the entire party, now he was only focused on himself. Shepard seemed to realise it too, but brushed it aside easier than she.

A small 'gatehouse' was the only way Elaine could describe it, separated this side of the Factory from the other half. They had to go through it to reach where Harkin had fortified himself up at the very back. The gatehouse was unoccupied, and Garrus and Shepard had taken the opportunity inside to refill their supply of ammunition. It gave Elaine the opportunity to observe Garrus more carefully. The set of his shoulders, the way he held his legs, it screamed of tension. He was high-strung, ready to snap at a moment's notice at the slightest provocation. Desperation filled his eyes, it was like an addiction – this _need_ to find Sidonis was eating him alive. She couldn't stand to watch this be done to him this way, but her stomach also twisted in guilt to think to take this vengeance away from him.

"You worked with Harkin at C-Sec?" Shepard asked as he and Garrus stared through a long window to try and spot what traps Harkin had waiting for them on the other side.

"Yeah, he was a pain in the ass back then, too." Garrus sneered, eyes peering through the gloom. "But I'm in no mood for his games. If he doesn't cooperate, I'll beat him within an inch of his life."

Elaine was taken aback by the viciousness in Garrus's tone. Harkin was not the one he wanted, Sidonis was. But because Harkin was an obstruction to that goal, he would wreak the same fury upon him. This darker side unsettled her greatly, and she stepped closer, an attempt to see his face. "Garrus? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, sure," he murmured. "Harkin may know why Sidonis wanted to disappear. If so, he knows why we're here and I don't want him tipping Sidonis off."

All three of them peered through the glass. Amongst the shadows of crates and other pieces that littered the factory floor, something shifted. Immediately, Garrus ducked down beneath the window, and Shepard pressed his back against the wall beside it. Both drew out their weapons, as if expect a hail of enemy fir to come raining through the glass. Elaine followed their example and ducked down on the other side of Garrus.

The turian looked to his two companions before nodding his head back towards the window. "Did you see that?"

"I saw something…" said Shepard.

"He's getting ready for us." Talons gripped tighter on Garrus's pistol. "Looks like an industrial complex… heavy machinery. But _something's_ in there… Probably more Blue Suns. Harkin's kinda trapped himself in a corner. He's got to have something up his sleeve."

"What are you going to do to Harkin is he won't cooperate?" Shepard asked.

"He's a real criminal now. Working for the Blue Suns. I should just shoot him on sight. But I need him alive, so I won't do any permanent damage…" the pull of a mandible, the flash of long pointed teeth on the grizzly side of Garrus's face in a wicked smile. Elaine hadn't thought Garrus to be scary-looking before, despite what Kasumi and other humans said to her. She'd seen things much more frightening in her time. But the way Garrus smiled now, and the way his voice dropped low set her on edge. "Just enough to loosen his tongue."

"There's no excuse for torture," snapped Elaine in an attempt to break this uneasiness. "You don't need to hurt him to get what you want."

"Don't worry. Harkin's a coward. He'll talk long before I can really hurt him."

"Whatever it takes?" Shepard suggested.

And Garrus seemed to grow more eager at the provocation. "Exactly. I knew you'd understand."

Elaine looked from one man to the other, utterly appalled. "You cannot be condoning this, Shepard?"

"Sidonis is a traitor, willing to turn on his own friends to save himself. Anyone did that to my squad, you can bet your ass I'd kill them for it."

"Oh really? When are we going after Kaidan then?"

Shepard looked over at her sharply. Yes, Elaine knew the blow was low, but the point still stood. Though Shepard refused to see it that way. "That's different!"

"Is it?" she turned back to Garrus. "Garrus, will this only end when you kill Sidonis? Is that what it will take for you to be free of this?"

"Yes." He retorted without hesitation. "It'll be quick and painless. Unlike _everyone_ he betrayed, he'll be spared the agony of a slow death! It's more than he deserves, but as long as he's dead, I'll be satisfied."

"And that'll be it? Everything will just go away?"

"Look, Elaine, I know you don't like it right now, but I _have_ to do this." Finally, he turned to fix her with those blue eyes of his. The anger and resentment fell away and all that was left for her to see was a grieving man pleading with her to let him have peace.

"Is there no other way?" she asked softly.

"Maybe… but this is personal. _I'll_ pull the trigger and _I'll_ live with the consequences. All I'm asking is that you help me find him."

No words came to her. How could she outright refuse something so simple as that? There was still time to turn the tables, she could still save Garrus's soul. She nodded. And from the doorway leading onwards, they heard Shepard call out: "Well, we won't catch him waiting here."

Into the warehouse they delved. This time, Elaine stuck close to cover to make her way through before she cornered her enemies. Garrus was right in his assumption of more Blue Suns warriors awaiting them. From the tallest towers of crates, long-range archers fired heavy shots like Garrus would. It was the Turian's job to dispatch them. Elaine focused on the metal people that held guns but did not move or react as one with a living soul would. Shepard picked off anyone in between. At the far end of the hall, as they drew closer and closer, Elaine could make out the balding form of Harkin through a window. When the last Blue Sun soldier fell, she watched him press a lot of buttons. Up above, metal containers moved.

"Oh, crap!" Garrus cursed, obviously knowing what this meant. "Two heavy mechs – incoming!"

From the ceiling dropped two metal golems, just like the one Elaine and Tali had encountered on that mining trip. Except that now, those powerful fast-shooting guns were trained on her and her companions. Elaine immediately threw herself behind cover. She was a reckless warrior, but she wasn't stupid. Her hiding spot vibrated heavily in place as the golem shot at it, she could even hear the second one's clanking footsteps as it followed where Garrus and Shepard were leading it away. Elaine had to move, they needed to take these things out before Harkin used this perfect distraction to make his escape.

The stacked crates allowed for a narrow gap just big enough for her to squeeze through… if she had nothing on her back. Loathed to do it, but quickly realising she had no choice, Elaine tore off her shield and put it on the floor. Keeping her sword in her hand, she shimmied through the narrow passage. And just in time, as the crate she had been hiding behind promptly exploded. At the dead end, the Warden looked around for some way of escape. Maybe the crates had just enough of a gap between them to offer her a way up? Awkwardly gripping her sword with just three fingers, Elaine climbed her way up towards the bright lights above.

Half throwing her sword onto the top, she pulled herself after it. Far below, she could feel the tremble of the foundations for her precarious perch with the force of gunfire from the golem that pursued her. Over the lip of the edge, she observed her prey, and like a hawk calculated the distance and timing this would need to be done. Crouched, sword gripped firmly, she counted down… and leapt into the air!

Her feet hit the golem's shoulders with a jarring impact that sent pain shooting through her knees. A second later, her sword plunged into the top of the golem's head, nearly splitting it in two. The entire thing began to shudder and quake, electrical sparks and hissing tongues of lightning dancing about. Elaine knew a warning when she saw it, and jumped clear, falling into a roll to absorb the weight of her fall. A moment later, the golem burst into a ball of fire. Not long after, Shepard and Garrus's golem went down as well.

Breathing a little hard as she climbed to her feet, the Warden immediately went over to collect her discarded shield. Her eyes darted to that little window, and remarkably how the blading man had stupidly decided to stay. Icy eyes narrowed. Did he believe that place offered him some protection? He must have another escape planned. But she wouldn't allow it. Biting her lip, she reached for her pistol and stood as her mother had always taught her for archery. Then came Garrus's lessons… aim, breath-in, squeeze!

The gun fired and miraculously, the glass window shattered. Harkin doubled back, not hurt, merely surprised by the deadly shower of fragments now falling around him. Switching the grip on her sword, Elaine took a running few steps, and then hurled Starfang straight through the window! Shepard and Garrus came jogging up behind her as the three climbed those last few steps up towards the bunker. When they stepped through the door, they found Harkin pinned to the wall, Starfang having cleaved through his shirt and embedded itself in the wall behind. The man was not injured, and struggled to free himself.

Calmly, Elaine strolled forward, a mask of indifference firmly in place. She knew what was about to transpire. And whilst she might not like the idea of torture during an interrogation, she prayed it would not come to that. Hopefully, Harkin was as much of a slimy coward as Garrus and Shepard made him out to be. Her fingers curled around Starfang's hilt, and with one effortless jerk, she pulled it free. Harkin sagged with the sudden release. Muscles tensed right before he attempted to sprint for the other door. But Garrus snatched hold of him with lightning fast precision. Spinning the human around, he punched him straight across the face. Harkin yelped, hands clutching his nose. Garrus gave him no mercy as he slammed his prisoner back against the wall and pinned him in place with his forearm across his collarbone.

"So, _Fade_ … couldn't make yourself disappear, huh?" Garrus sneered.

Despite the blood trickling from his nostrils, Harkin still managed to smile like he was welcoming a customer. "Come on, Garrus – we can work this out. Whaddaya need?"

A moment's hesitation, then Garrus released him. With Shepard stood with arms crossed on one side, and Elaine on the other leaning back into a hip, this time Harkin chose not to run. Garrus stayed in front of him, his gaze cold. "I'm looking for someone."

"Well, I guess we both have something the other one wants." Smirked Harkin.

"You think you're in a position to bargain?" Garrus snapped. "You fell from C-Sec, and now you're helping these criminal scum murder and drug their way all over the Citadel!"

"Give me a moment while I get my sad, old violin for ya,"

A blue and black knee launched up and slammed into Harkin's balls with enough force to lift him off the ground. The man had no air in his lungs with which to scream as he fell face first to the floor. Shepard couldn't hold back his snort. "That had to hurt. Maybe you should just tell us what we want to know."

"Maybe I could," Harkin wheezed, struggling to get back to his feet. "If I knew what the hell you wanted!"

"You helped a friend of mine disappear. I need to find him." said Garrus.

"I might need a little more information than that."

"His name was Sidonis. Turian, came from the–"

"I know who he is, and I'm not telling you squat!"

"Maker's breath, is this _really_ worth all the trouble?" growled out Elaine, her frustration with this situation leaking through. Her fingers began to tap an anxious rhythm, hard eyes darting from one face to the next.

Harkin sneered. "I don't give out client information, it's bad for business."

Garrus kicked Harkin in the stomach this time. The moment Harkin hit the floor, the Turian's two-toed boot came across his throat. He immediately panicked and fought, but Garrus's superior strength and weight slowly applied the pressure. "You know what else is bad for business? A broken neck!"

"All right! All right! Get off me!" Harkin spluttered. Elaine's hands tightened into fists. One struck Garrus in the arm. He glanced her way, and one cold look passed between them before he finally let the man up. Coughing and heaving for breath, Harkin finally looked up at his captor in surrender. "Terminus really changed you, huh, Garrus?"

"No, but Sidonis… opened my eyes." Came the disquieted reply. "Now arrange a meeting!"

"I'm going…"

As the -so-called-Fade went over to a console and spoke to a disembodied voice Elaine barely understood, she watched Garrus. An awful calmness had settled over him, an almost contemplative expression on his face. Idly, he pulled out his pistol, looking it over. A ball of dread formed in Elaine's stomach.

"It's all good. He wants to meet you in front of Orbital Lounge. Middle of the day." Harkin came back towards them, a hopeful smile on his face. "So, if our business is done, I'll be going…"

Talons grabbed hold of Harkin's shirt and yanked him forward until he and Garrus were nose to nose. "I don't think so. You're a criminal now, Harkin."

"So what? You're just gonna kill me?" Harkin whispered. "That's not your style, Garrus."

"Kill you? No…" slowly the talons uncurled and pushed Harkin back a step. And then a nasty smirk pulled at Garrus's mandibles and he aimed the pistol for Harkin's knee. "But I don't mind slowing you down a little…"

"Garrus, no!" Elaine shouted, her commander-voice roaring out of her. Fingers curled around Garrus's wrist and pushed it upwards as he fired, the shot going harmlessly into the ceiling. He turned on her with outrage in his eyes. But she held her ground, a most decidedly _not-amused_ glare staring right back at him. "You got what you wanted. This is just cruel."

He looked to Sheard briefly, before jerking his arm free of her grasp, and slowly lowering the pistol. "I guess it's your lucky day."

Harkin rolled his eyes. "Yeah. I hope we can do this again _real_ soon."

Shepard tapped Elaine's shoulder and indicated to move out. She followed, but from the corner of her eye, she spotted Garrus surge forward and slam his forehead into Harkin's already busted nose. When he turned around to leave, he flashed Elaine a grin. "I didn't shoot him." and the nover his shoulder he said to Harkin: "Sidonis better be there… or I'm coming back to finish the job."

* * *

The took a flying carriage to this 'Orbital Lounge'. The trip took them roughly half an hour, and the entire time, Elaine sat rigid in the backseat. Her stomach kept churning, her mind replayed visions of Garrus's viciousness. He wasn't backing down, no matter what she said. If anything, the closer he came to his goal, the more psychotic Garrus seemed to become. It was even starting to worry Shepard, if the odd looks he kept sending in Garrus's direction were any indication. The situation was deteriorating out of their control faster than either of them could handle. Elaine was usually a woman of words, of diplomacy, to talk down any situation. But there were times when words weren't enough, and it was at a time like this, as she panicked over the thought of losing her friend with each passing minute, that she recognised the time for action was close at hand. But would he forgive her? She'd wanted this decision to be his, that he might come to see reason if given enough time and prompting. But sadly, she had to take that decision from him.

They found the Orbital Lounge, the street outside of it brightly lit and filled with people. A row of seats ran straight up the middle, and lots of store fronts allowed for a lot of traffic in and out. If Sidonis was here, did that mean Garrus would kill him in front of all these people? They landed the carriage, and though Elaine expected Garrus to immediately leap out and charge after his prey, he didn't. instead, he just sat there, head leant back, gazing out into nothing, a scowl on his face. The silence that filled the car was heavy as both the humans waited for something to happen.

"Harkin's a bloody menace." Garrus finally growled out in frustration. "We shouldn't have just let him go. He deserved to be punished."

Elaine couldn't stop her bitter snap. "Punished? Like destroying his kneecap like you wanted? Was that a fitting punishment – or more?"

Garrus tilted his head in her direction. "You don't think he deserved it?"

"It doesn't matter how much he deserved it. That's not justice. It's barbarism."

"Oh, that's rich, coming from you," he snorted. "Didn't you beat a man's head in?"

"Enough," Shepard's voice rang out sharply. "Don't waste your time on him. Let C-Sec deal with him now."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

Elaine bit her cheek, fist pressed against her lips. The anxious tick in her fingers had travelled down to her leg that jiggled up and down on the ball of her foot. "What changed you, Garrus?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Were you always like this?" she asked sneeringly. "When you were a city guard, did you go around _punishing_ those you deemed unworthy? Or was Harkin right, did Omega change something in you?"

He shook his head, the growl in his throat now permanent. "You don't want to understand, always trying to be the saint! The world isn't all sunshine and rainbows. And here, this is something I _have_ to do, to end this."

"Who are you trying to convince, Garrus; me or yourself?"

"I don't need to be convinced."

"Are you sure about that?"

"What do you want from me, Elaine?" Swivelling in his seat, he fixed her with a glare. "Howe betrayed your father, but what would you do if one of your _friends_ betrayed you?"

The words instantly made her think of Morrigan, of that night before the battle of Denerim. Back then, Elaine had thought one of her closest friends had betrayed her, had set her up all along for the sake of obtaining more power. Elaine had sent her away, forsaken her. And then Flemeth found her and took her over. It didn't matter that Flemeth claimed it had been many years later, she still felt the bitter sting of it. She'd failed Morrigan. Despite the anger and resentment, she'd held for the young witch, she knew now she'd never wanted harm to come before her. No matter what Morrigan had done, the memories of their times as friends would never go away and would always serve as an accusation to Elaine that she had failed to save her. And it was the same thing she was trying to reveal in Garrus. "I already know of that loss."

"Who's going to bring Sidonis to justice if I don't?" Garrus pressed. "Nobody else knows what he's done – nobody else cares!"

"Burying the past won't make it go away. It will always haunt you." Leaning forward, she reached out to him beseechingly. "You don't know why Sidonis betrayed you. Let me and Shepard speak to him,"

"Talk all you want, but it won't change my mind." He muttered, turning away from her. "I don't care what his reasons were, he _screwed_ us. He deserves to die."

"Garrus, I–"

"I appreciate your concern. But I'm not _you_."

"This isn't you either."

"Really?" he chortled sarcastically. "I've always hated injustice. The thought that Sidonis could actually get away with this… Why should he go on living while ten good men lie in unmarked graves! I'm sorry, but words aren't going to solve this problem."

A hush fell over the car, and Elaine looked at the ground in defeat. She'd tried and failed. Her heart ached, and she hoped Garrus could forgive her. The whole while they'd bickered, Shepard had remained silent, his eyes following the conversation most intently. Elaine begged him to say something, that if anyone could convince Garrus, could inspire him to change, it would be him. But the Commander did nothing.

"I can get a clear shot from over there." Garrus pointed to a balcony not far from where they sat, it overlooked the entire street. "Shepard, you keep him talking and don't get in my way. I'll let you know when he's in my sights. Give me a signal so I know you're ready, and I'll take the shot."

Shepard nodded, and Garrus climbed out. The roof closed after him, and the Turian's eyes, once warm and inviting, appeared cold and sinister when veiled in the shadows. He kept his gaze on the car as they lifted off and Shepard parked them lower onto the street. The got out, and Elaine felt her heart begin to steadily climb higher as the moment approached her like a stampeding horse. Her eyes roamed for any sign of Sidonis, almost certain she'd somehow recognise him. But there were over a dozen turians here, and any one of them could be him. As her eyes roamed, she spotted three pairs of C-Sec guards posted around the plaza. Though they all briefly glanced Elaine's way, they stayed where they were.

"Let it go, Elaine." Shepard murmured so quietly, Elaine's distracted mind barely heard him. He stopped and turned to fix her with a look. "You're right, Garrus changed out on Omega. So for your sake, please let this drop."

Elaine watched Shepard, even as he moved away further. The gentleness with which he spoke, the resigned look in his eyes. Tali had once told her that Shepard and Garrus used to be best friends on the first Normandy, as close as brothers. Obviously something happened to create this slight divide, for this was hurting Shepard, to see his friend fall. It didn't matter that he might personally agree with the decision to kill Sidonis, he knew what this was doing to Garrus. Shepard just simply accepted that there was nothing he could do.

Elaine did not accept it. Not yet.

" _There he is. Wave him over and keep him talking._ " Came Garrus's voice through their comm.

Shepard spotted Sidonis first. Elaine followed his gaze when he made a motion of his fingers to summon someone closer. A turian walked up to them, his plates pale silver on his face yet fading to a washed out green along his fringe. Purple stripes tattooed his mandibles. He wore a blue and red civilian tunic that she'd come to recognise as the favoured style of turian clothing when not in combat. The skin beneath Sidonis's eyes looked loose, almost haggard, like he hadn't slept in years. The slump of his shoulders, the slow dejected circle of his fingers told of a submissive man on the edge of defeat.

"Let's get this over with," Sidonis said quietly, his eyes darting about the plaza as if he feared he was being watched. He wouldn't look at Elaine and Shepard for too long, and Elaine couldn't help but wonder what would drive a quiet man to do what he did.

Then Garrus impatiently spoke in their ears. _"You're in my shot. Move to the side."_

"This won't take long at all." Said Shepard. Elaine tried appear casual as she looked behind her and up at the distant balcony, over 300 feet away. Garrus couldn't shoot Sidonis with them in the way?

Noticing that Shepard didn't appear to be doing anything, just standing there, Sidonis seemed to finally pay attention. He took a good look at the two humans before him, eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You one of Harkin's men? I don't remember seeing you before…"

 _"_ _That's it. Just keep him talking a few more seconds."_

"I was told Harkin was one of the best," grouched Sidnois. "This better not happen aga–"

Shepard moved aside, just in time for Elaine to shove herself right in front of Sidonis's path. Her eyes held the strangers as she whispered under her breath. "Sidonis, don't move–"

Panicked, Sidonis hurriedly grabbed hold of her arm, eyes darting around the plaza. "Don't ever say that name out loud."

"Elaine, what're you doing?" Shepard demanded, he too looking around to make sure their little scene wasn't being observed.

She looked over her shoulder, where she knew the sniper could see her. "Stopping Garrus from making the biggest mistake of his life."

"Garrus?" Sidonis's eyes went wide. "Is this some kind of joke?"

 _"_ _Damn it, Shepard! MOVE her!"_ thundered a furious voice in Elaine's ear.

Shepard went to move, to grab her and drag her away maybe. Elaine stopped him with a seething look. Her hand shot to hover beside her sword. "Don't you dare come near me." Her hiss was punctuated by a pointed look to a corner where the guards were taking more of an interest. "You see C-Sec over there? I pull out this sword and they will all come swarming here to arrest us all. And Sidonis gets away. Take another step and I'll do it."

 _"_ _Shepard, if he moves, I'm taking the shot!"_ the desperation in Garrus's voice, the anger, cut her.

Sidonis seemed to fully grasp the seriousness of the situation, as his words became strained. "You're not kidding, are you…?"

"Don't _move_." Elaine hissed and grabbed hold of his arm when he tried to back away. "I am the only thing standing between you and a hole in the head."

His jaw shivered, but finally he relented and stayed put. "Fuck."

"Now you're going to tell all of us why you betrayed Garrus on Omega. They were your friends and you–"

 _"_ _I don't want to hear it, Elaine!"_ snarled Garrus. _"No reason was good enough for what he did."_

"Garrus, you need to trust me and–"

 _"_ _I was an idiot to trust_ _ **you**_ _! Now move out of my way or I'll–"_

"You'll what? Shoot me?" she hissed. "Is that the new level you've sunk to?"

Silence. Intense, heated silence. A breath slowly left Elaine's rattled insides – at least Garrus still held to some semblance of sanity. She turned back to Sidonis, and gently prompted him. He hurriedly supplied. "Look, Garrus, I didn't want to do it! I didn't have a choice."

 _"_ _Everyone has a choice!"_

"They got to me, tortured me, said they'd kill me if I didn't help – what was I supposed to do?"

 _"_ _Let me take the shot, Elaine, he's a damn coward!"_

She ignored Garrus and continued to prompt more out of Sidonis. He moved to lean against a railing, and she moved with him. "That's it? You saved yourself and got out?"

"I know what I did," he murmured, head hung low. "I know they died because of me, and I have to live with that. I wake up every night… sick… and sweating. Each of their faces staring at me… accusing me. I'm already a dead man. I don't sleep. Food has no taste. Some days I just want it to be over."

There was a moment of quiet from the guilty man's confession, something that all of the killers present could understand. And though Garrus's conviction wasn't as fierce as before, he still tried to persist. _"Just give me the chance."_

"Garrus, let it go," Elaine said softly. "He's already paying for what he's done to you."

 _"_ _How can you say that?! Ten men are DEAD because of him!"_

"And will killing the eleventh bring them back?"

 _"_ _You've had your revenge,"_ he bitterly spat, _"why can't I have mine?"_

"It's never that simple, Garrus!" she finally lost it, spinning on her heel to look up at him over 300ft away. "I had my revenge, yes. And when I finally found him, when I killed him, it was the greatest rush I've ever felt. But a small piece of me died with him, and I knew I could never get it back: my innocence. Nothing was made better for me, the pain didn't go away. And just like that, Howe won. But it doesn't have to be that way for you."

Quiet… even from this distance, she could feel his eyes on her, felt naked beneath them. And then his voice whispered, broken, grieving. _"My men… they deserved better."_

"Garrus, please… don't lose a part of yourself to this disease like I have."

"Tell Garrus…" started Sidonis, but shook his head. "I guess there's nothing I can say to make it right. I'm just glad I called him away that night. I wanted to know I saved someone."

Silence, and then a quiet sigh. _"Just… go. Tell him to go."_

Elaine allowed her held breath to be released in a quick rush. Though she did not move from her position for fear of Garrus hanging his mind, she did allow Shepard to approach, and push Sidonis away. "Get outta here, Sidonis. None of us want to see your face again."

"Thank you, Garrus. I'll make it up to you somehow," the turian said loud enough for their comm. to pick up his voice. And then those eyes, that seemed as if a burden had been lifted, found Elaine and swam with relief. "And thank _you_. For talking to him."

* * *

Shepard and Elaine slowly made their way back towards the line of flying carriages, the same place where they'd left Garrus to set the trap. The trap which had now failed. Garrus hadn't spoken a word over the comm. since letting Sidonis go. Elaine could feel the tension broiling off of him through the silence. The walk back seemed to last forever, each step dragged out of her as she both needed the wait to be over, but also dreaded reaching its end. Though she'd been an outlaw once before, and had once been captured in Fort Drakon, she'd never once experienced 'The Long Walk'. Now, it felt exactly as it had been described to her – a long, dread inducing crawl to certain death, where every step made her feel a phantom of the executioner's axe upon her neck.

Her legs began to shake. What if Garrus hated her now? What if he would shout and scream at her? Would he understand why she did what she did? He had to! He'd let Sidonis go, he must've listened to her words and recognised the truth in them. Glancing over at Shepard, she wondered if he thought her a traitor. Was he disgusted by her betrayal, by her underhanded tactics to get her own way? The Commander must've noticed her watching, for he met her eyes, and then leaned over and squeezed her shoulder.

Elaine felt a huge breath leave her lungs. Relief made her sag. No words were spoken because none were needed. Shepard knew and understood what she'd done, and the risk she'd taken, and was proud of her for doing it.

Finally, Garrus marched from around the corner. Where all three of them stood partially obscured in shadows, the bright blue of his visor seemed to glow ominously. Elaine braced herself, but no shouting came her way. In fact, Garrus strolled right towards Shepard. He did not look towards Elaine whatsoever. Confused, she tried to catch his eye, but he made a point to not even turn his head in her direction.

"I wanted to thank you, Shepard," he said, rumbling voice quiet, strained, held back. "For everything. I don't think I could've done this without you."

Shepard's dark eyes shot to Elaine, and then back to Garrus. Even he seemed to recognise something wasn't right. But he made no comment, nodded his head and shrugged. "No problem, Garrus…"

Elaine waited, and waited. But nothing. The turian pretended she wasn't even there. He turned on his heel and went to stroll right back to their waiting carriage. No, she wouldn't allow this. The idea of him angrily shouting at her, furious, was far more appealing then his utter rejection. Brows furrowed, she took a step towards him and grasped hold of his arm. Beneath her fingers, she felt him grow so still, so tense, every muscle hardened.

"Garrus...?" she gently ventured. No response. Wetting her lips, she dared to speak again. "Garrus, I think we need to–"

A cold scowl snapped onto her. "I don't."

And with that, he snatched his arm back out of her hold and marched away from her. Elaine watched him go, her stomach sagging into her toes as grief swallowed her up. So the damage was done. She'd gotten what she wanted. And now Garrus was gone; one of the dearest friends she'd made since she'd arrived in this chaotic and soul-conflicting world. The entire ride back to the Normandy, the Warden woman sat in the back of the carriage, Garrus saying no more to her than those two words. And she quietly mourned.

* * *

 **A/N: I realise we had some issues last chapter of people being able to see what was uploaded or not. Thankfully, the problem seemed to sort itself out, and hopefully we won't get a repeat.**

 **This chapter was amazing for me to write - and I hope you all enjoyed it too! Please leave a review, I long for all your comments to help me improve. Up next Monday - Bekenstien!**


	22. The Greybox

Two days spent on the Normandy were hell for Elaine. She'd thought herself alone when she'd first come aboard, but now there was a deliberate silence regarding anything about the battery or the occupant within. Almost everyone on the ship had heard what had happened on Garrus's mission, and the consequences of it. During those two days, Elaine had purposefully avoided being anywhere near Garrus, for she was sure that he wouldn't want to see her. And in all honesty, she wasn't willing to be ignored by him as he had done on their journey back to the ship after letting Sidonis go. Everyone who spoke to her avoided the subject of Garrus and anything to do with him, for fear of hurting her feelings – except for Jack, who showed the same level of tact and sensitivity to the subject as she did all others. Though in truth this only made Elaine feel more shit as she was made painfully aware of the situation she'd put herself in.

Her moping did not go unnoticed. Tali, ever a good friend, tried to intervene. First, she promised to knock some sense into Garrus, but the Warden forbade her from doing so. She was a big girl, once the commander of her own little party of companions, she would handle this problem in her own way. Garrus needed his space at this moment, to come to terms with what had happened and reach his own conclusion on how he felt about it and her. If he decided to forgive her, then he would come to her. If not, then Elaine would respect his decision and leave him be. It would upset her to lose her friendship with him, for the only person she had been closer to than the Turian was Alistair. That surprised her somewhat: how much she had come to depend on this fragile companionship with an alien that looked nothing like a human. But he'd been kind to her, he'd joked with her and made her laugh, he'd gone out of his way to accommodate and let her adjust to this new and frightening world. Perhaps the old saying was realised in her fully now: she'd never known how much she counted on his comradery, until it was gone.

Tali had then tried to cheer Elaine up, but it was no use. None of her offers of drinking, gaming, or any other activity could pull Elaine out of her slump. And what's more, her nightmares were getting worse. Those two nights after they'd come back to the Normandy, after seeing Flemeth, the nightmares had been raised to the next level. The Archdemon now never left her dreams. Whereas before there were specific dreams more vivid then other blurred ones, now they were constantly realistic, with the Archdemon always at the centre, haunting her, chasing her, trying to reach her. It was now getting to the point that Elaine was either avoiding sleep altogether. The words of Flemeth whispered in her mind during her waking hours, praying on her fragile state. Her frayed mind picked each word apart to try and derive meaning from them to prove that she was possessed, that the Archdemon was here inside her! The Warden did her best to act as normal as possible during her waking hours, and tried desperately to find any activity that would take her mind off of her troubles.

Which was why when Kasumi – ever observant and helpful – approached her with the promise of a mission to get her off the ship, the Warden took it without question… Or regard for what was _actually involved_ with such a task.

The Master Thief had pulled Elaine away from the direction of the armoury, saying rather vaguely that she would be doing battle in a different kind of armour. Elaine had then been forced to undergo torture at Kasumi's hands – the little hooded woman had then brought out her horrid equipment: dresses! Before Elaine could flee, Kasumi had already locked the door and practically forced her into the first dress. There was a reason Elaine hated things like this. At the annual Landsmeet, the family would accompany father to Denerim, with one of them staying behind to reside over Castle Cousland in rotation. In her younger years, Elaine had stayed behind with her mother and watched her father and brother ride away with envy. But when she began to change into a woman, she was suddenly allowed to go with both mother and father, whilst Fergus stayed behind. Her mother would dress her in the tightest, most uncomfortable, most outlandish, and most fashionable dresses of each year. She'd apply powder and put pretty flowers, ribbons and jewels in Elaine's hair. And then, she'd parade her prize daughter all throughout the City in front of other nobles and their sons, all in an effort to test the waters as to marriage prospects. Elaine had learned to hate every single painful moment of it. When her mother threatened to take Elaine with her on a trip to Orlais, Elaine had pretended to be deathly ill in order to get out of it – for she knew the outfits forced upon her would be _even-MORE_ outrageous over there!

How Kasumi managed to force Elaine to not only try on multiple dresses, but to also sit still whilst she did her hair and makeup was a mystery for the ages. By the time they were finished, Elaine felt vandalised, bruised, scandalously-exposed, and wary of the thief's potential power. The warden wore a black dress made of leather, that shimmered in the light like a pool. The neckline was very low, stopping just over the tops of her breasts so as to expose her cleavage – and the bottom only just covered her ass! If her mother could see her now, she would be mortified! Shoes that looked like a sandal had been bred with a heeled-boot were strapped to her feet, giving her muscular legs a more elongated shape. Silver bracelets and thick-chain necklaces adored her exposed flesh, drawing the eye to her long pale neck and wrists. Her hair had been put through a hot press that ironed out all the kinks and poofy-ness her mother and governesses had battles for years. Now her pale gold hair cascaded in a straight waterfall down her back, one long lock brought over and pinned to sit alluringly over half her face. Lips were painted blood red, and her eyes were flecked with black powder so her ice-blue irises seemed to burst with colour.

In the shuttle bay, Elaine realised that she was not alone on this mission – Shepard was dressed up in a black and white suit, and was supposed to be her "date". When Elaine inquired what that was, she was a little unnerved. Apparently, it was like courting, and Elaine didn't really want to even pretend for Shepard to be courting her. The man was an ass, yes, but not unkind, and might even be considered handsome if he scowled less. But she looked upon him as a family member – maybe a cousin. Kasumi flew them down to the planet Bekenstein, which was a small planet in the neighbouring system to the Citadel. There, they came to an estate and were given the full rundown.

Kasumi had once had a lover, who was also her partner in her thieving business, named Keiji. Keiji had come across some rather damning information, documents that could prove dangerous to all human-kind in the wrong hands. To protect them, he'd stored them in what Kasumi called a "Greybox". According to Kasumi, it was a small machine planted inside the human brain that could store memories for later (how strange and wonderful the technology of the future was, Elaine thought!). However, a thug-boss named Donovan Hock had kidnapped Keiji and killed him for that information. Fortunately, the Greybox could only be opened by Kasumi – or so she claimed. Kasumi needed help to infiltrate a party Donovan Hock was hosting with all his criminal friends, in order to steal back the Greybox. Shepard and Elaine needed to work as distractions and infiltrators whilst Kasumi did her work. She told them that their new aliases were called Mr Solomon Gunn and his wife, Mrs Alison Gunn, who were meant to be weapons dealers and general thugs out near Illium. They needed to play the part of a sexually driven marriage, which seemed to make both Shepard and Elaine uncomfortable.

When they finally arrived, they were greeted at the door by Mr Hock himself. The man, dressed in white with finely trimmed hair, oozed arrogance and self-importance from every ounce. His voice was strange, clipped with an accent Elaine couldn't place. The man had eyed her up even when he was talking respectfully to Shepard – his gaze lingering on her breasts for a second long enough to warrant a punch in the face. The Warden barely restrained herself. She held a cool aloofness, eyes hooded, letting Shepard do all the talking and settling for just looking menacing over his shoulder. The first hitch in the plan came when Hock forbade Kasumi (who was under the disguise as Shepard and Elaine's servant) from entering the party. Elaine feared they'd been discovered, her stomach knotting with dread. But no other consequences came of it. So, Shepard with Elaine on his arm, had to walk into the party alone, with Kasumi infiltrating from the rafters and out of sight and out of reach.

" _We need to find the door and case the security_ ," said Kasumi in their ears. " _We'll figure out the next step then. Give it ten minutes – socialise, make sure you're seen together. Shepard, come find me when I'm at the vault. Elaine, you stay behind and make sure you're seen. You've got to keep attention on you. Remember your cover: Mrs Gunn is not just the pretty face, she's her husband's most bloodthirsty enforcer. You're ruthless and a temptress. You don't mind flaunting your sexuality – use it as a distraction_."

"Great," she hissed under her breath.

Shepard seemed to share her distaste. "This better be on the up-and-up, Kasumi,"

" _Oh, ye of little faith,"_

So Shepard and Elaine did their best to socialise amongst the criminal elite, drinking at the bar, conversing with some of the gangsters and mob bosses they came across. Kasumi had forbidden them from talking about business, seeing as the two heroes didn't actually know anything about running a criminal organisation or how their business would interact with the businesses of the others here. Yet the topic of business was everywhere. Shepard managed to vaguely hint at the activities of his supposed merc band, referencing things his old gang used to do, Elaine suspected. It was passable, and before any one could grow suspicious, Elaine would direct the conversation to other topics.

Though it made her skin crawl, she flaunted her wide hips with the same suave appeal she'd always seen at whore-houses, particularly from Captain Isabella at the Pearl. The usually modest and prudish noblewoman worked hard to make sure all eyes were drawn to her when she wanted them. A bend of her knee to bring attention to her thighs. Leaning against the bar to accentuate the dip of her waist. Running her fingers across her pale throat. Shepard finally left her when she managed to get in conversation with an older man, who was obviously not the type for the two young asari's he had on either arm. The way he looked at Elaine, spoke with what he thought was a sexy purr, made it very clear he wanted her to join him and his two companions. The asari were not impressed, and Elaine believed they wanted all his attention – and money – on them.

 _"_ _Elaine, we need a little help,"_ said Kasumi suddenly.

Trying her best not to appear out of the ordinary, Elaine excused herself from her conversation. As if summoned, Shepard appeared at her side. They walked a little ways off, and Elaine was just about to question what was wrong, when Shepard finally stopped them in a small corner, but still in view of everyone. He backed her up until she was pressed into it, and then leaned in so close his breath shifted her hair. The Warden fought her embarrassment and the urge to push her way free, but she understood Shepard's tactic. If anyone looked over here, they'd think the two were deep in the throes of passion. Though she had no desire to do so, she wrapped her arms around his neck, as if she were pulling the commander closer.

"The vault's heavily fortified," whispered Shepard.

Her discomfort at the current situation made her voice a little snappy. "I thought that would've been obvious,"

"We've got to find a few things to unlock it. I'm going to infiltrate the security rooms to find a password – that's the best place to look for it. I then need to cut the power to the barrier. While I'm on that, you need to get a voice and DNA sample from Hock."

"What? How do I do that?"

"Just get him talking and let Kasumi do the rest. As for DNA, maybe go to his rooms? See if you can find something."

They disengaged from each other and walked back towards the main area of the party. Before they could split off to perform their separate tasks, Shepard suddenly stopped in his tracks. His eyes narrowed incredulously on something, and Elaine followed his gaze. Across the room was a middle aged man with brown skin and a peppered beard across his jawline. Wrinkled eyes were guarded as he conversed with several other guests, and though he laughed and talked as if all were normal, there was an uncomfortable air around him. Elaine noted that he took frequent, deep gulps of his alcohol.

"What is it?" she asked quietly.

Shepard's mouth pressed into a firm line. "That's Admiral Jackson. Retired from ombat a few years back – now he's on the Alliance Brass."

"You're government?" Elaine frowned. "What is he doing here?"

"Probably in Hock's pocket. He's gotta have some dirt on him, that'll be why Hock can get this close to the Citadel and not worry. Son of a bitch."

"What we do, then? I'm guessing he will notice who you are if he sees you…"

"Yeah, there's a chance of that," he nodded. "Just avoid him if you can. He won't know who you are, but its better to be safe."

They split up. Elaine lost sight of the Commander when he headed for a door hidden behind bookshelves. She avoided the Alliance man, who thankfully was headed in the opposite direction, towards a set of round doors with a guard. Trying to not look overeager, Elaine sauntered her way closer to Hock. The man was chatting to two or three other people, but he spotted her, his eyes hooked on her.

" _There he is,"_ whispered Kasumi in Elaine's ear. " _All you need to do is keep him talking long enough for me to get a voiceprint. Pull out the charm on this one. Whenever you're ready."_

Plastering a smirk of a smile, Elaine strutted towards the group of gentlemen. They parted for her, and Hock abandoned his previous conversation to properly address her. The look in his eyes made her skin crawl.

"Mrs Gunn, good to see you," said Hock as he took hold of Elaine's hand and pulled her knuckles up to his lips to kiss. "That scene at the door hasn't soured your evening, I hope."

"I understand the need for security, Mr Hock," she smiled, putting extra emphasis on the last syllable of his name. "But who would _dare_ try to break into Donovan Hock's home?"

"Having my front door open is a bit much, I agree." He said. "But hopefully it sends the message that I don't fear anyone stupid enough to stand up to me."

"Yes, my _husband_ seems to enjoy cryptic messages to enemies as well," she sighed. "But I much prefer the _direct_ approach."

Hock grinned. "Come on, Gunn, in our line of work we attract a certain… _element._ Few understand the pains we take to keep the barbarians at bay. People these days want comfort, entertainment, love. They don't see that the galaxy is fragile. They only have to worry about simple luxuries. Why? Because people like me – and you – are doing the terrible things that keep the galaxy spinning. This party is for us. The cleaners. The support structure for the galaxy's gleeful delusions of peace. May there always be a market for the things we do!"

As if that entire speech had been rehearsed and prepared, Hock was met with a round of applause from his audience. Elaine reluctantly joined them and tried desperately to conceal the roll of her eyes. With Hock receiving numerous praise from all those around him, it was almost easy for Elaine to slip away, unnoticed.

Her shoulder collided with another's. Sent stumbling a few steps, Elaine feared she'd break her ankle in these ridiculously high shoes! Just in time, she managed to steady herself, and looked up to try and find the one that had barged into her. All she caught was a flash of facial features similar to Kasumi's, with lank dark hair and dark glasses obscuring his eyes. The man glanced back at her, but hurried on his way. Elaine watched him, suspicious. Normally, a man would either apologise or bluster with outrage. He did neither. Her gaze caught a flash of red, and there was a spot of red on the bottom of his white shirt that stuck out beneath his jacket.

 _"_ _Elaine? You there?"_ came Shepard's voice. _"Just gone over the Security room. Got the password. Hock's rooms should be there in front of you. If the guard asks anything, tell them Chief Roe gave you clearance."_

She did so, and though the guard was sceptical at first, Kasumi soon impersonated the Chief, and he allowed her entry. Elaine was beginning to wonder if Hock was anywhere near the kind of man both he and Kasumi made it out he was. So far, their plan had only received one hitch and the rest was going along fine…

… Or not.

As Elaine stepped into Hock's room, her steps ceased before they could tread into a pool of blood.

The body of a man lay upon the floor, and upon getting a good look at his face frozen in contorted horror, Elaine recognised the face of the Alliance Admiral – Admiral Jackson. His jacket had been forced open and a single wound punctured his chest and stained the white shirt a brilliant crimson. The fact that his face was still not pale, and when she knelt to dip a finger in the blood to realise it was still slightly warm, Elaine knew he had not been dead long.

Thinking quickly, Elaine shut the door to the rooms in case a guard should wander down. A flicker of light sparkled beside her a second before Kasumi appeared. The hooded woman seemed shocked to find the dead body. She immediately went to find a hiding place – they couldn't have this jeopardise their mission. Whilst the thief did that, Elaine carefully pulled the body up and examined him.

There was only a single wound – the puncture of a stab wound. Elaine might've thought it to be a dagger, for the entry wound was incredibly slim, almost like parchment, which had allowed the weapon to slide in between the Admiral's ribs effortlessly. However, there was a corresponding wound on the Jackson's back. The weapon was long enough, like a sword, to puncture straight through a man's body. Elaine didn't know of any sword that could be that thin, though.

"Shepard," she said and put a hand to her ear to activate her comm. "We have a problem."

 _"_ _One moment… almost go the power… there! Alright, what is it?"_

"I've found Admiral Jackson… he's dead. Someone's run him through."

The shock in Shepard's voice was almost a little too loud. _"Wait, what?! Who would do that!"_

"I don't know. But we can get to the bottom of it later," she vowed. "First, we need to get into the vault. It's only a matter of time before someone realises what happened – and we only have until that time to get the Greybox and get out."

* * *

When the Vault was finally unlocked, Kasumi revealed the hiding place for Elaine and Shepard's armour and weapons – beneath the statue they'd brought in as tribute. When the two warriors were finally dressed and ready, they climbed in the elevator and snuck down to the depths beneath the expensive house. When they finally opened, the trio were greeted by a menagerie of various statues and artefacts on display in cases. Elaine had previously thought Hock would have a wealth of jewels and gold and other riches like a dragon's hoard. But here it was proven to her that instead of mere trinkets, true value lay in the history and culture of other people – things of value to the hearts of nations, things that could never be replaced.

They split up to search amongst the cases and various statues, Kasumi assuring them that the Greybox was somewhere here. Elaine had to admit, she was quite impressed with some of the ancient statues and other artworks she managed to get a look at. The one called "David" was a particular favourite of hers, she decided. Moving through the room, she cast her eye over Quarian stone tablets and turian art. She had to hand it to Kasumi, this mission – while not entirely eventful apart from a few things – was a great distraction. She moved to the other side of the room, keen to look at few –

She froze. Her heartbeat suddenly went into overdrive and pounded through her veins. The urge to reach back for her sword was so great it made her palms sweat.

Stood before her, a creature of nightmare stood entombed in a stone-like-ice. Stubby legs set wide, it was posed in a hunch, mid-roar. Arms were spread wide like the fearsome display of a primal animal, exposing a barrelled muscular chest. A face carved from nightmare displayed it overly large tusks and fangs in a mouth too wide for the beady eyes and nose. Twisting horns like gnarled roots stuck out from atop its head, brushing the gigantic bulging shoulders.

"Wow. Imagine that thing coming at you down a dark alley," Kasumi whistled appreciatively.

Elaine found no humour in it.

Shepard wandered over and seemed to register the look of barely concealed alarm on the Warden's features. "Elaine? You okay?"

For a moment, she couldn't form words. "It's an Ogre."

Something in her tone must've caught both of their attentions. "Wait, you know what this is?"

"This like the creature you told in that story on Tuchanka?" Shepard asked.

She nodded. "It is a Darkspawn. One of the most savage and brutal of its kind. But how would Hock get hold of one? Especially one that happens to be magically petrified?"

"Magically?" Kasumi bulked at such an idea.

Shepard stared at Elaine, then the Ogre, then back to Elaine. Something between surprise and slight fright entered his eyes, as if this were further proof that the world as he knew it was not what it seemed. Elaine stared at the malicious creature, fragments of memories drifting through her mind. The longer she locked gazes with those cold, dead eyeballs, the harder she could hear distant whispers from a grating evil voice inside her head.

Digging in the heels of her palms to her eyeballs, she turned away, violently. "Leave it! Let's find the Greybox and go…"

Kasumi and Shepard shared a worried glance, but otherwise did as she bid them. They searched for a few minutes more. The entire time, Elaine pointedly refused to even glance in the mere direction of the Ogre. Even then, she could feel its eyes on her, could feel the sweat bead down the back of her neck, could hear the slight growls of the Archdemon in her ear. Panic set in, but she did her best to throw herself back into her work – any kind of distraction. Hurrying over to where Kasumi and Shepard were raiding a pair of guns, Elaine's eyes found the little box next to them.

Kasumi saw it too. "Oh my god…" she whispered, her eyes misting over at the mere sight of it. "There it is!"

She summoned to being her Omnitool, and began to infiltrate the box through it. Elaine stood to the side, feeling uncomfortable, distracted and completely lost. All of a sudden, the scan stopped and disappeared. The room grew dark, and on the wall at the far end of the hall, appeared the image of Hock's giant head.

" _Don't bother, Ms Goto. It's codeloked_." Boomed his voice from every corner of the room. That face gave an infuriating self-satisfied-smirk. " _I had a feeling that was you at the door. I knew if it was really you, you'd get through anyway. I'll admit your skills are impressive. You got into my vault like I'd left it open_."

"You know me," snarked Kasumi. "I don't like to disappoint."

" _I need what's in your Greybox, Kasumi. You know I'm willing to kill you for it."_

"Come and get it then,"

The look turned condescending, bordering on a scowl. " _Don't fight me Kasumi._ _You know what happened to your boy-toy when he fought back_?"

Kasumi froze, her breath stuttering out. Elaine glanced at her friend in worry, even as she saw the woman's lip tremble and then contort into an angry snarl. "You don't talk about Keiji like that! _Murderer!_ "

The Warden would not see her friend be wounded so by Hock's foul words. "That's no way to talk to the lady."

" _I'm disappointed in you, Ms. Gunn,"_ said Hock sourly. " _Such a shame you decided to throw your lot in with this petty scum. If you'd come to me, I'm sure we could've arranged something."_

Elaine didn't bother to hide her lip curled in distaste. "Yes. Because I'm _incredibly_ turned on by cruel egotistical murdering sycophants."

 _"_ _You should–"_

 _BANG!_

The shot went off so suddenly that Kasumi and Elaine jumped as one of the precious artefacts shattered into a thousand pieces. Hock's face contorted with horror. " _NO_!"

Shepard sent him an unimpressed look. "Have I got your attention?"

The giant head seethed. " _KILL THEM!"_

Where the head had been cut out of sight, a set of doors opened up and in walked in a group of guards. Kasumi, Elaine and Shepard shared a look and then darted for cover, weapons at the ready.

* * *

They managed to fight their way through Hock's base. The Grey Warden had to admit, the man was well stocked on weapons, men, and defences. There were a few times she or Shepard had been forced into a tight spot. Even at the end, when they'd been so close to getting away, Hock put up one last fight. In his flying metal contraption that shot bullets and exploding weapons, he'd almost taken them out, had it not been for Kasumi's ingenuity, Shepard shooting the thing down, and Elaine keeping the soldiers off of him whilst he did it.

Now, they were on their way back to the ship, and finally prying open the contents of the Greybox. Elaine and Shepard watched as Kasumi sorted through them herself, and by the small whimpers she was making… it didn't look good. They heard how the information Keiji had stolen was bad for the Alliance, and that should it be kept with Kasumi, it would mean she would forever be a target of those trying to kill her to get it. But she didn't want to let Keiji go. Elaine knew her pain, and sympathised with the poor woman. If there was a way for her to hold onto her family, of her friends… she wouldn't give them up for anything in the world.

"Are you sure there's no way we can save his memories?" Shepard gently asked when Kasumi came back to herself.

"No," she whispered. "Keiji was a master at encrypting files. He laced them into his memories. You cant get one without experiencing the other."

"What do you want to do?" Elaine asked.

"I… I don't know. I can't let him go. I feel like I'm losing him again."

Shepard took a slow step forward. "You heard what he said, Kasumi. Someone will come after you for that information. He wanted you to move on."

Tears choked the small woman's throat. "But I… I can't…"

"If it's easier on you, let me do it."

"O…Okay… just-just get it over with. Please." She backed away, tears streaming down her face. Elaine, unable to bear the sight of her friend crying, pulled Kasumi into her arms and held her close whilst the poor woman wept into her shoulder.

* * *

Garrus couldn't stand at his work station another hour. He needed a rest. No, wait, check that, he reeked. Shower first, then bed. He checked the time. 23:57 earth hours. Well, at least he could count on the halls being mostly deserted. Apart from the crew on night rotation, he should have no problem. Grabbing a towel, he dragged his aching feet out of the battery door and down through mess towards the bathrooms.

As he rounded the corner, a flash of movement caught his eye. His head snapped towards it… and he gaped.

Just coming out of the designated females' bathroom, was Elaine. She was dressed only in a silken bathrobe, exposing her long legs and bare flat feet. Her pale flesh had been turned pink from the scalding heat of a shower, steam still rising lazily from her smooth skin. Where when dry her hair was a light gold, now it was almost brown from damp, a few strands clinging to her face. Her scent, the sweet scent of lilies, permeated the air around her in a wonderful perfume.

The turian couldn't stop himself staring at the human woman not ten feet away. He tried to smack himself out of it, but he was just so shocked to see her like this. Elaine always covered herself to show the greatest sense of modesty, or she was always a battle-hardened warrior in armour. But here, she looked… delicate, feminine. His gaze was riveted on the shape of her calves, or the way the rope of her bathrobe was pulled tight enough to showcase the exact shape of her waist.

And then he realised she was frozen in the hallway, staring at him staring at her.

Clearing his throat a little too loudly, Garrus forced his eyes to look somewhere, _anywhere_ , but at her. Spirits, she must've thought he was a right pervert! But he couldn't well tell her he was staring out of mere shock – there's no way she would believe him. There had been no ogling involved. None. He was a full-blooded male turian, who was only interested in full-blood female turians. A blush was creeping in at the back of his neck, and he coughed again to try and be rid of the embarrassment he felt.

"Garrus…" came Elaine's voice, careful and hesitant, as if she didn't know what to say. "I didn't expect to see you…"

"I, err, I was going to have a shower. Over there. In the… men's." He finished lamely. Again, he cleared his throat, and when he looked back to her, he made it a point to stare directly into her eyes and _nowhere else._ "What're you doing here?"

"I like to bathe when the others are asleep. It gives me privacy. Time to be alone with my thoughts." Her gaze darted away, and her voice faltered for a moment. "Are… are you well, Garrus? I haven't seen you since…"

Since Sidonis. The words did not need to be said. With just the brief reminder, he was reminded of why he'd been actively avoiding her. Of why he should remain distant. At first, right after the mission, he had been angry with her. Why shouldn't he be? She'd betrayed him. Yet as he'd had time to cool down, he reluctantly come to the realisation she'd been right. He'd thought long and hard about it and realised that he'd never have been able to live with himself if he'd pulled the trigger on Sidonis. He would've always wonder ' _why_ '. He'd have never known Sidonis' reasons. It didn't matter that they were pathetic and cowardly reasons. But those reasons were still enough to stay his hand… in the end.

The moment had been when he'd driven his final insult, his final dick-ish move, and she'd spun around to face him whilst still protecting the traitor. It was just like when he'd seen her for the very first time. Him looking down the scope, and her, seeming to supernaturally know to gaze right back at him, as if she could see through it to him even from such a distance. Her gaze had pierced him as it had done back then. She stared at him so defiantly, had dared him to sink so low as to shoot a friend down… and damn him, he'd _actually_ thought about doing it! For one horrifying moment, he'd thought to shoot her in the arm, or some other extremity that wouldn't endanger her life, and shooting Sidonis down anyway.

And that's when he'd told her to let Sidonis go. He'd felt sick to his stomach at what he'd become. He'd already let Elaine get hurt on that mission due to his obsession. Such shame and self-loathing had filled him. at first, he'd tried to resurrect his anger, to blame it on her and so avoided even speaking to her when they rode back to the Normandy. But soon enough, his guilt had resurfaced, and he'd avoided her out of pure disgrace. Talk about her betraying him, he'd almost thought about betraying her in one of the worst ways possible! These past two days he'd made sure not to run into her because he couldn't bare to look in her eyes and know he was unworthy to even be in her presence.

"Garrus?" came her voice and realised he'd missed what she said. He expression was pained. "Garrus, do you think… do you think we will ever be alright again?"

She still wanted to be his friend. The realisation humbled him and made his shame all the greater. Out of obligation, and also out of curiosity, he found himself asking: "Why did you do it?"

Her eyes flickered to the floor. "I couldn't watch your obsession destroy you. I couldn't see it change you. I… You are my friend, Garrus. I like you the way you are."

"And what if _I_ don't?"

Something nervous fluttered across her eyes, and hesitantly, she took small steps towards him. She edged so warily, it were as if she feared he would snap and tell her to back away. He cast his gaze down away from her, mandibles pulled tight against his face to hide his teeth. Of course she would be afraid of him. Why shouldn't she be? Which was why it astonished him when he felt her delicate touch graze the edge of his chin, tilting his face slowly back up until he was looking directly into her eyes, now so close. So soft and reverent were her fingers upon his plates, as she gently explored the network of grizzly scars on his mandible. The nerves were only just starting to repair enough for him to feel, and he wished he hand more so that he could commit to memory exactly how she touched the most beastly part of him. All he felt was a small pressure, but somehow… it took his breath away.

Her hand stilled, and her icy blue eyes locked with his, a small sad smile gracing her lips. "I was willing to help you see the beauty that is left in you – the way I see it."

Too shocked for words, he was left to just stare at her. Even she seemed surprised at the intimacy this small moment invoked, and slowly, embarrassed, she took her hand away. The turian was left to marvel at the woman before him, and also confused at why he could still feel the phantom of her warmth, and yearn for it to return. He yearned for her touch because he wanted to imagine she forgave him. He wanted them to be friends again. It had been settled in his mind since before yesterday that he'd forgiven her for what she'd done. Yet after what he did, the way he'd acted, how could she stand the sight of him? The fear inside him was very real, the fear of how he might not ever have the opportunity to salvage this friendship with the human woman he'd come to so greatly respect.

"Well," he whispered when he finally found his voice. He took a step back from her, realising he needed air and her presence so close only proved to make it hard to focus. "You've given me something to think about, at least…"

Her gaze was forlorn as she nodded. Without another word, she turned away from him and made to leave. Garrus panicked, and tried to say something to make her realise, to bridge this gap.

"And you were right, by the way." She paused, her hand frozen above the green button to open the door to the crew quarters. She glanced over her shoulder at him, puzzled. "About before. You're right. I can't just bury the past."

Elaine nodded, but said nothing. Before he could say another word, she turned away and strode back into the crews quarters and out of sight.

* * *

 **A/N: okay! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY this is late! I promise, next week's will be on time. Over the weekend, I've had such a busy schedule with family and then a busy start to this week - I'm just all over the place. But thank you for all your comments and love, I know some of you enjoy this on a Monday wherever you are in the world.**

 **This last scene came completely out of nowhere, but I love it. The characters just did this all themselves... I find it rather magical when stories do that to you...**

 **Anyway, please leave me a review! I need them for motivation and improvement, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!**


	23. The Dead World

"Are you sure about this, Admiral?" Shepard asked. "I thought the alliance had dumped me."

The vid-call up in Shepard's cabin crackled before righting itself. Anderson gave Shepard a look, a look that always reminded him of a stern father. No one else could get away with giving Shepard that look, not to mention how it actually worked. The Commander felt like a bad school boy _. "Don't give me that shit, Shepard,"_ said Anderson. _"You know I don't give a rat's ass what the brass think of you. You're one of the best damn soldiers in the alliance. Period. And you know more about weird shit than any other person in the galaxy."_

Despite himself, Shepard smiled. "Alright, so what is it?"

 _"_ _The Alliance recently sent out a marine scouting team onto an uncharted planet out on the fringes of the terminus,"_ Anderson explained. A ping alerted Shepard's omni-tool as Anderson sent him over the mission reports. _"From orbit, the world looked uninhabited. But the scouts… they didn't make it two days before they called in an SOS."_

The Commander tried his hardest not to remember Akuze. "Something got them?"

 _"_ _All but two of them made it back. It's what happened to them when they got back that's the strange-part."_

Shepard gave Anderson his full attention.

 _"_ _Within a solar day, the marines' health began to deteriorate rapidly. Their bodies began to fail, almost like they were poisoned by something out there. No matter what the doctors did, they couldn't help them. Then their minds began to go crazy! Their speech regressed, they forgot their own names… and Shepard? They always complained about hearing things only they could hear."_

"Reaper indoctrination?" Shepard demanded, alarmed.

 _"_ _We don't know,"_ sighed Anderson. _"Before they could be quarantined, those weakest to the poison died. The others went berserk – they killed each other."_

"Admiral, it's gotta be Reaper-tech! They must've found something and–"

 _"_ _I guessed the same thing."_ Anderson nodded. _"That's why I'm passing this along to you, Shepard. You know how these things work – hell, you killed one! So get out there and kill this thing too before it comes around to bite us in the back like Sovereign did."_

Shepard saluted. For a moment, he wondered about telling Anderson about Admiral Jackson's murder as a parting piece of information. But decided against it. EDI was trying to go through footage taken from Hock's estate but couldn't find anything. Strangely enough, the bedroom had zero security footage. And there was no indication of anyone coming or going save for Elaine. No, if he told Anderson or the Alliance Brass about this now, it would be like Saren all over again. He had no leads. He had no proof. Just wild accusations. He needed more information, more leads, before he could tell of it just yet.

"I'll make this my top priority, sir."

 _"_ _Good luck, Shepard. Anderson out."_

* * *

"And _this_ is made from corn?"

"Yeah, it's good – favourite junk-food amongst us humans."

"It's fluffy. Food is not meant to be fluffy."

"It's not fluffy, it's _puffy_. Big difference. Try it."

Elaine eyed the small white-yellow blob between her fingers. Sceptically, she glanced at Joker, who was grinning in anticipation. With the same caution she would give a Deepstalker's kiss, the Warden slowly put the food item Joker called "popcorn" in her mouth. Chewing, a sweet and sugary flavour sank across her tongue. Only two bites and it was gone.

"Hmmm… not bad," she murmured.

Joker beamed. "You see? Try another one!"

She did. And grimaced. "AGH! That one was salty!"

"HA!" Joker cackled. "I like to mix 'em up. Like to watch people squirm when they get one they don't like."

She shot him a cheeky smile. "Oh, you're evil."

"We are approaching our co-ordinates, Jeff," said EDI. "The Commander is on his way."

Joker and Elaine watched out of the window as the huge planet slowly came within reach. At first, Elaine thought it was obscured mostly by shadows. But as they drew closer, she realised that it was just… grey. The only thing that differentiated the ocean from the land was a murky green-grey next to the brown-grey. As she looked upon the world below like the Maker from on high, the noblewoman couldn't help but feel a shiver run down her spine. A creeping sensation, like a heavy sickness, built up in her stomach. The laughter and mirth she'd felt with Joker just moments ago vanished completely.

Shepard came up behind them and peered out over their shoulders. "Any sign of where the marines encountered trouble?"

"None, Shepard," said EDI. "The logs were either corrupted or too ineligible for me to get a clear insight."

Pressure built in the back of Elaine's mind, like an expanding bubble. Spikes grew from it and pierced into her brain, sending sharp lightning strikes shooting across her skull. Hissing, she dropped her head, digging her heels into her eye sockets as if she could reach in and pluck it out! Heat pooled at the bottom of her spine, and shiver wracked her shoulders. Images flickered behind her eyelids, so fast she could barely make them out.

 _The Battle of Denerim. Watching Riordan fall to his death… Then back, to the front gates, leaving behind the others… saying her goodbyes. Then the deal with Morrigan, the night before the battle – and sending her away. Talking to Alistair after crowning him King, smiling and laughing with him. The Tower of Ishal – the Darkspawn overrunning it. Watching Castle Cousland be engulphed by flames… The last time she saw her mother and father as they crouched in the larder, about to die… The Archdemon's face eclipsing her vision with its massive bulk, its roar filling her head…!_

Elaine fell to her knees, unable to muster the strength to keep herself standing. What in the Maker's name had just happened?! She'd had visions, but she was awake. The madness never crept over so intrusively to her waking mind, it almost always waited for her in sleep. She couldn't stop her breathing from escalating. Why did her heart so much from its furious pounding?

"Elaine?" came a voice, and she realised everyone was looking at her. Shepard was crouched over her, brows upturned in concern. "You okay?"

At first she couldn't speak. Her dread from early had transformed into a putrid and agonising horror she couldn't escape. "EDI?" she asked in a cracked voice. "C-Could you give me a map of the planet? P-Please?"

She waited with terror on her trembling lips as EDI did a quick scan, and then projected a flat map of the planet's surface. It took everything inside of the Warden not to let out a crushing wail of grief. She recognised a portion of the map… she recognised the curved arch of the coastline, the huge lake along the left side, the mountain range closing the country in from the west.

"Elaine?" she heard Shepard asked, but she could not see him through the tears that suddenly flooded her eyes. "You recognise this place?"

"This…" she could barely force the words out in a whisper. "This… this is my-my h-h-home. It is Thedas…"

Silence. Joker cleared his throat, not wanting to look her in the eye, and seeming for all the world wanting to be the last person to speak. "Um, Elaine? There's no sign of vegetation down there. This planet's been dead a long time."

She knew that, could see it in the ashen grey world out the window. But still to hear that her home was destroyed… She fought down any emotion that threatened to escape. She would not crack, she would not break. Not here, not now. Not in front of these people. Deep inside her sub-conscience, she stuffed all feeling and thought into a box, sealing it away where it could not overcome her and cause her more harm. And from the quiet inside her soul that ensued, Flemeth's voice echoed out from the abyss.

 _'_ _Return then, to Thedas. Uncover the history long since silenced. Head south, into the Dales, the land that was promised in the midst of chaos and then taken by fire, where slaves were made men. Despite what you may believe, it shall be a sight of beauty, that I can promise you. Open the door, as only you can. Brush away the mystery, pull back the night… and all shall be made clear.'_

"We go there," she suddenly declared into the silence of the cockpit, her voice devoid of emotion and lifeless. She pointed at the map, at the land which she knew from memory lay between Ferelden and Orlais. The Dales. In that moment, Elaine was almost thankful the witch of the wilds wasn't sending her to Ferelden. It was one thing to admit her home was gone, but to actually see her country this way… that would break her.

"Why there?" Shepard asked.

"I was told by somebody we have to go there. So we're going."

* * *

Shepard called on Miranda, and also Mordin to accompany him and Elaine down to the planet. Considering that he was of a scientific mind, he might be able to help determine what happened here. There was no need. Elaine knew exactly what had happened. She could here it in the song that echoed in the back of her mind, in the creeping hum that lingered in her own blood growing louder and louder the closer they came to the ground. Every moment was fresh stab of agony that she had to bottle up for fear of losing it completely. The shuttle had to pass through menacing thick clouds that blanketed most of the sky, forking with harsh purple lightning that threatened to engulf to strike at them. When the shuttle finally landed, it took her a moment to muster the strength to even stand and walk outside. The air was breathable, so she was allowed to look upon her homeworld with her own eyes. She wasn't sure whether that was a mercy or a curse.

The earth crumbled and crunched under their boots like gravel. The air was thick and heavy with the scent of ash. The clouds they'd come through seemed to cover nearly every inch of sky, blotting out the sun until only a meagre light was allowed through to see by. For as far as the eye could see, in every direction… there was no green. Not a blade of grass, not a flower, not a tree was left standing. All that was left was the husk of skeletons of the vegetation that might've once lived here. Ashen grey and putrid blacks and browns covered the earth for miles and miles. The only thing that grew were twisted thorn branches that reached out with the hope of ensnaring anything that moved. All around her, Elaine could feel the thrum in her blood, as loud as when she'd been in the Darkspawn nest in the Deeproads.

It was so hard not to crumble, not to be overcome with emotion as she looked out upon her dead world. Flemeth had told her time had passed, but this? She'd thought maybe her world would still be here, maybe they'd gathered the technologies of this strange future, she would see her world with an empire in the stars! Instead, she was left with so much death. What was it Flemeth had said? That this would be a thing of beauty? She wanted to spit on such a notion. There was nothing beautiful about this!

Mordin knelt close to one of the dead and black tree trunks, his Omnitool flashing a light that swept up and down its length. Shepard and Miranda looked out over everything, they're expressions guarded. Elaine had already explained to them all the importance of not allowing anything to enter their bloodstream. Even then, she might've preferred it if they wore face masks.

"EDI?" Shepard's voice seemed too loud in the silence that permeated from this place. "Are there any signs of life?"

 _"_ _None, Shepard,"_ EDI's tone was gentle, as if she knew how difficult this was for Elaine. _"The cloud cover doesn't allow enough sunlight through for plants to grow. And even if it did, water sources indicate too much toxicity to be viable."_

"Soil samples reveal much," Mordin said as he stood, staring at the readings on his Omnitool. "Was once viable but toxins introduced rendered infertile. Fascinating! Natural disaster? Symptoms mimic result of Nuclear Winter."

"This is the Blight." Elaine whispered. "It finally overwhelmed us… It killed everything with its touch…"

"This can't be where you're from," said Miranda. "Nothing's been alive here for what must be a few centuries."

"Look out for Reaper tech. We need to find what happened to the Marines." Said Shepard.

"No need. This is your answer. If the soldiers stayed here too long… if it got into their bloodstream… the Blight worked its foul poison into them. They became ghouls."

"Shepard!" shouted Mordin from where he'd wandered to. "Found something!"

They wandered over around the bottom of a steep rocky hill. Behind the outcropping of some boulders, Mordin sat, seemingly entranced by something. Elaine peered over Shepard's shoulder. A blazing red crystal struck out of the ground. An ever so faint glow came from its centre, casting the entire party in a firelight aura. Dangerous, angry yellow forks of electricity sparked lazily around the crystal like a viper waiting to strike. Elaine felt a familiar buzz echo from the crystal, at the same time as she heard the familiar song of the blight. It confused her.

"Some kind of mineral?" Miranda asked.

 _"_ _Shepard,"_ came EDI's voice. _"I can confirm that the Marines sent here mentioned in reports samples of this mineral to be harvested for lab tests."_

"Trying to find a new resource?"

"Small traces indicate was once element zero…" Mordin murmured. "Impossible to know for certain what caused change…"

Elaine answered "There is the hum of Lyrium here. It's what we used to fuel magic. But I can hear the song of the taint coming from it… this has been infected. This would be what infected your soldiers. Handling normal raw Lyrium without proper safety is deadly. But misusing _tainted_ Lyrium…"

Shepard cocked a brow. "Your people used Eezo?"

"It's not like the blue mineral you have on your ships. It feels… different."

 _"_ _Shepard, from Elaine's description, it is possible that this LYRIUM is the diluted form of Element Zero you discovered in the runes on Elaine's old armour."_

Shepard wanted them to search to see if they could find more traces of this Red Lyrium. Every footstep felt like a stab to Elaine's heart. Though she tried to stuff every emotion away in that little box in the back of her mind, it was getting harder and harder to close the lid fully. They wandered through the desolate landscape for what felt like hours. It seemed the Red Lyrium wasn't going to grow in the open, but Elaine warned them they couldn't go near the mountains. Likely tunnels to the Deeproads would be found there, and if there were Darkspawn anywhere, they'd be clustered there. It was rather surprising to her however, that they'd encountered none so far…

And then they entered the Valley.

At the bottom of what once must've been a gorgeous meadow, lay dozens of bodies. Darkspawn bodies. Hurlocks, Genlocks, Shrieks and Emissaries, all of them spread across the ground and left where they'd fallen. They'd been left to rot, mutated flesh, already repulsive, had turned putrid and was falling away to reveal the warped skeletons underneath. The smell was horrendous and threatened to make the entire party gag on the noxious fumes. Miranda couldn't handle it, and resorted to putting on her face-mask. Elaine barely managed to stomach it as she stepped through the remains of the massacre, searching for clues. Whatever happened here, it must've been several months ago at least. Some kind of fight, a battle perhaps? Were there pockets of humanity left fighting back? No… that couldn't be right, she realised as she examined the body of a Hurlock Alpha that didn't seem as decomposed as the others. Though a blast of some kind of heat had speared him through the chest and killed him, the rest of him was riddled with holes… like bullet holes…

"Commander!" Miranda exclaimed, too loudly. "Over there!"

Elaine looked up to find the others making their way through the bodies towards the edge of the meadow. She followed. Hidden behind small cover provided by ancient rotting fallen tree-trunks and boulders, was huddled… Collector Pods?

There was no mistaking it. These containers in appearances looked exactly like the pods the Collectors had used to trap colonists on Horizon. These ones looked old and damaged, probably abandoned. Elaine frowned at them in confusion. Had the Collectors been here and fought off the Darkspawn? The bodies were old, and the pods must've been here a while, for they were now starting to be claimed by the Blight itself. The oily, snake-skin-like substance that coated everything infected with the Blight, was starting to grow its way across the surface of the pods.

"What were the Collectors doing here?" Shepard asked.

Mordin tapped a finger against his chin in thought. "Hmmm… Collectors known for interest in genetic anomalies. Came to planet looking for new specimens?"

"Maybe we can find out," suggested Miranda. "If there's any kind of data left in these pods, they might be able to tell us once we examine them aboard the Normandy."

"No." Elaine said forcefully. "These pods have been here too long. If you bring them aboard the Normandy, Blight-sickness will spread among the crew like wildfire."

"This is valuable technology! We can't just leave it!"

Before Elaine could reply, the ground beneath their feet gave an ominous shudder. Then another, and then another just after. A new pitch added to the song in the back of Elaine's mind. The sound of danger approaching. She turned towards it, heart hammering. From behind the other side of the valley, a hulking Ogre charged at the group of intruders! Its speed was astonishing for a creature of that size, and as it came at them, it picked up one of the many bodies of Darkspawn around it and flung it at them! It was a good enough distraction to catch them off guard as it came in close. Elaine dove and rolled out of its way before she could be trampled. Shepard shouted something, but she could barely hear it. Her distracted mind was reeling to try and get back into focus.

Gunfire erupted around her, all pelting at the Ogre, who's crude armour took most of the damage. What flesh they managed to hit didn't sink very far and was already beginning to regenerate. The pale and purple monster roared and gnashed its fangs at the group, now royally pissed off. Bending low, one hand grabbed at the earth in a very familiar stance, right before it charged straight for Shepard! The Commander barely got out of the way in time.

Elaine jumped to her feet, pushing aside her grief, and replacing it with _HATE._ She despised the Darkspawn for their evilness, she despised them for what they did to her world. Starfang sliced into the Ogre's hamstring, getting its attention on Elaine as it whirled around to roar in her face. Gritting her teeth, Elaine roared back, and struck her sword against her shield to make an awful loud cacophony. The Ogre shook its horns, ears ringing.

"Shepard! Miranda!" Elaine commanded. "Keep pelting it! Mordin – ready a fireball!"

With a grunt, the Ogre swung a huge fist straight for Elaine's head. She ducked low, and bounced back up right in front of it, and drove her sword into its gut. The Darkspawn roared and tried to stamp on her. The Warden evaded by going between his legs and out the other side to flank him. Bullets from Miranda and Shepard constantly struck the creature's shoulders neck and head. Yet surprisingly, the Ogre's massive set of horns took most of the beating to protect its skull. Miranda used her biotics to make the Ogre stumble, which gave Elaine a great opportunity to slice open the Darkspawn's unprotected back from hip to shoulder. With a snarl of hate, the Ogre kicked out at her.

Its armoured boot hit Elaine square in the chest, and it sent her skidding back across the floor in a tumble. By some miracle, she managed not to break a single bone – though her head was fuzzy. Shaking herself back to focus, her eyes opened face to face with the disgusting rotting maw of a dead Shriek she'd landed on top of. With a squeal of disgust, the Warden scrambled back off of it. A roar got her attention. She tried to keep a good watch on the Ogre, who was trying to advance on the others. It managed to snatch hold of Miranda in its huge grip, and Elaine saw the moment it was about to smash the woman into the ground or crush her bones like King Cailan! Yet before it could, Shepard leapt up, Omni-tool summoned to life in the form of a blade, and sliced open the Ogre's wrist. The Ogre screeched, its blood pouring onto the ground. Shepard caught hold of the winded Miranda, and helped her to hobble back to safety.

Seizing her chance, Elaine reached for her sword and raced straight towards the Ogre. "Mordin! Fireball it now!"

On command, the scientist let forth his fireball from his Omnitool. It hit the Ogre's back, straight on its already cut open skin in a massive explosion that left it staggering. It threw its head back and roared in agony. Elaine took a running jump. Her feet hit the Ogre's chest a millisecond before her left hand reached out and latched onto the collar of its armour, and her sword plunged straight into its chest. Red-black blood spurted on Elaine's face. The Ogre lost its footing and fell. With its momentum, Elaine drove starfang through its forehead, feeling brain and matter turn to mush in an instant.

The Ogre stopped squirming. Hopping off the corpse, Elaine did her best to control her breathing and slow her adrenaline fuelled rage. Shepard and the others came over to her. The Commander's eyes raked over the corpse of the horned monster, wide with shock. "What… what the fuck was that?!"

"An Ogre." Elaine told him tonelessly as she did her best to clean her blade with the earth. Mordin ran right past her and began to scan the Ogre's body.

Shepard frowned. "Like the one in Hock's vault?"

"How has it managed to survive out here?" Miranda asked, subtly trying to holding her bruised ribs without anyone noticing.

Elaine stood and sheathed her sword and shield. "Darkspawn don't need to eat to survive. They are sustained by the Blight in their blood."

"Incredible!" exclaimed Mordin like an excited child. "Unique poison in bloodstream. But not like one in Elaine. Purer, less concentrated. Darkspawn _IS_ virus! Not just carrier!"

The Warden ignored the professor, her eyes scanning out towards the far horizon. "If there's an Ogre out here, then more can't be far. This one must've sensed me just as I could sense it. We'd best leave this place."

 _"_ _Ooooh, you're not leaving so soon, are you?"_

The cooing voice echoed all around them. Laced with the sultry feminine tones, was underlined a deep growling whisper that was once again all too familiar to the Grey Warden. She spun, startled, just in time to see a small plume of smoke erupt from the ground and a figure step forth. With goats legs and a barbed tail, one might think it a monster. Yet the body and face was of the most beautiful woman possibly conceived. The only thing that marred her beauty were the claws on the ends of her fingers, and the curling horns that sprouted from her brow. Instead of hair, purple flames gently swayed across her head, matching in colour the radiant purple of her eyes.

Apparently, her sudden appearance disturbed the Commander and his crew, who all recoiled from her presence. "What the actual _fuck_?!"

"Stay back!" Elaine ordered, and in a flash, her sword was in her hand, the tip pointed at the smiling demon's throat. "What are you doing here, demon? Back to the Fade with you!"

The demon's fanged smile grew wider. "There is no Fade anymore. So much death, so much destruction. The veil was sundered everywhere because of it."

"What the hell is this thing?" Shepard asked, gun in hand, along with Miranda and Mordin.

"It is a Desire Demon," said Elaine. "Don't listen to whatever she says."

"You fear I will tempt them?" chuckled Desire, a clawed hand stroking her waist and cupping her enormous bosom, her claws playing with the tassels that covered her nipples. "Oh, dear Grey Warden, you have nothing to fear from little old me… Besides, the minds of their kind are closed off to me. Not like you…"

"Whatever trick you have up your sleeve, I want no part of it, demon."

Despite what her eyes must tell her to be true, Miranda still clung to denial, a snort of derision trying to mask her rising fear. "This is ridiculous. This is some form of alien species, not a demon."

The spark of an idea seemed to make Desire's hair flicker brighter. The fanged grin she sent Elaine's way was mischievous. "Your companions doubt you. Shall we make them believers? Wouldn't you like that, to be taken seriously? My dear Elaine Cousland?"

"How does it know your name?" whispered Shepard.

"You wish for them to know who you really are? To appreciate the sacrifices you have made? The authority that you have wielded?" expression going cool, Desire stepped away from Starfang's top, and strutted towards the three crew members. "Perhaps what they need is a demonstration…"

Desire waved her hand, and suddenly the world vanished. In its place, arose a city in flames. Darkspawn crowded every street, people were running for their lives, being herded like cattle and slaughtered by the droves. Above the city, circling around the spires of Fort Drakon was the winged silhouette of an enormous dragon, roaring its triumph. From the front gates came a war cry and then the charge of thousands of soldiers. Knights rode in on horseback, mages struck lightning and ice, dwarves waded through with battleaxes swinging, elves rained arrows from the sky.

Shepard and the others stared wide eyed at the vision surrounding them. "Holy… shit…"

"Elaine Cousland was the one predestined to bring this world deliverance," said Desire. "The Fifth Blight threatened to swallow her country whole. It was she who commanded the armies of all the races. It was she who fought at the battle that would determine the fate of the world. And it was she who struck the killing blow."

The vision shifted focus, and now they were at the very top of Fort Drakon. The Archdemon loomed over them. Its massive and disgusting bulk reaching high into the sky. The dragon snarled its huge toothed maw, as a phantom of Elaine and her companions charged to do battle. Elaine watched it all in fascinated horror. To watch herself battle a hopeless fight against the destructive and evil fore of nature that battered and pummelled her and her dearest friends. She watched herself turn in desperation to the ballista on the roof and aim it at the Archdemon. Stomach dropping, she watched herself charge with all the strength she had left. Asala scooped up from the ground, she watched her ghost slit the throat of the Archdemon… plunge the sword into its head… and the explosion that followed. Then nothing.

Mordin hummed sceptically. "Saved world, but still a dead world now?"

"Yes," Desire hummed, "a pity she wasn't here to save the world from the Sixth Blight."

The words came like a hammer-blow that left Elaine reeling. "Sixth…?"

"This isn't possible!" Miranda exclaimed desperately. "There's no such thing as dragons and monsters – there's no way there could've been humans here, spaceflight isn't that old for us."

"I have shown you nothing but truth." Desire's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You should be on your knees. This woman deserves your respect. Not your scorn."

"I'll get on my knees when you kiss my ass," Shepard shot back. "Elaine? I think we're done here."

And the demon's voice was right beside Elaine's ear, her body pressed against her side, claws clinging to her armour. Elaine had not the strength of will to shove her away, so exhausted was she by everything she'd learned. "You see? This man would think to order _you_ around like a dog! They mock you, Warden, they mock your legacy. To them, you are nothing but an outsider. You do not belong with them."

"I _am_ an outsider…" she heard herself echo emptily.

"Everything was so much simpler when you were among your own people, wasn't it? You were adored, revered, respected. I know how much you long for home. To see your friends again, to finish your great work."

As if her wishes had summoned them into being, right before her stood all of Elaine's companions. Wynne was smiling like an adoring grandmother, Leliana beamed from ear to ear. Oghren and Zevran were cheering for her, Sten stood stoically at the back beside Shale, and amazingly both of them were smiling warm friendly smiles to welcome her home. At the front stood Elaine's faithful hound, who stood wagging his tail, tongue lolling, anxious to run and embrace his mistress. To the side of the group stood Morrigan, a weary and watery smile on the corners of her mouth. "My friends… They're waiting for me…"

"I can give you what you desire, Warden. I have the power, the means, to send you back through the Eluvians… to send you back to your own time. I could give you the life you were meant to live. You could live out your days unhindered by the taint. You would have the adoration of the King that secretly loved you for so long…"

Her companions parted, and from their midst strode forth Alistair. He was beautiful, in his shining golden armour, a red cape with the Ferelden crest embroidered fluttering in the breeze. A crown sat upon his noble brow, his strawberry-gold hair still spiking up in certain places. He marched right up to her, the kindness in his hazel eyes she always remembered. With one delicate finger, he reached out to touch the corner of her lips. Confused emotions stirred within her. "Alistair?"

"I could give you not just Ferelden, but all of Thedas!" whispered Desire. "The world would bow to you as they were always meant to!"

The Warden blinked. And much like it had done in the Fade so long ago, the tangible reality of the dream began to melt away, even if the illusions persisted. She closed her eyes and reached out to Desire, who readily came into her embrace with a grin of triumph on her features. Elaine didn't even flinch when she casually drove her sword through Desire's heart. The demon's mouth fell open and a scream issues forth. No blood came for demons had none. The Warden pulled Desire close to whisper in her ear.

"That's the thing about you demons: You never learn," she said. "Duty is who I am. It is all evil has left me with. Sloth tried to give me a future. Neither of you realised that all I wanted was the past. If you'd given me my family, I probably would've agreed."

Before Desire could reply with her filthy promises, Elaine pulled Starfang free, twirled the blade and beheaded Desire in one clean stroke. The body fell, lifeless to the ground, and then disintegrated in a flash of green flame.

"Let us leave this place. There's nothing left for me here anymore." The Warden said and turned towards the Shuttle. She cared not if Flemeth had some reason for sending her here. Perhaps it was just to torment her in some petty form of revenge. If so, mission accomplished. If not, if this was some grander scheme, then Elaine no longer wanted any part of it. Unable to stand the sight of her destroyed world a second longer, she left it behind.

* * *

On a small ship, word travels fast. There are no secrets. And little by little, things that others might have considered falsehoods, fantasises or the impossible, slowly begin to unravel, to be accepted. The walking contradictions of a certain warrior amongst the crew, who claimed to come from a world she couldn't have possibly lived on, yet knew intimate knowledge of all its layouts, inner workings and creatures, who spoke of imaginary things as truths, yet had undeniable links to said things in her very blood – she confused the crew. They believed her yet didn't want to think on the challenge she posed to their concept of reality. To them, dragons, monsters, time travel, magic, and all that sort of thing was reserved for metaphors and stories to keep naughty children in line. They did not doubt her; yet were afraid to admit that the horrors she represented just might be real.

So when the warrior came back, heartbroken, numb, and for all outward appearances dead, they pitied her. She lost a home, and they wanted to give her space to grieve. No one knew what to do as the woman shuffled her feet to the mess hall and silently made herself a cup of tea. She sat at the table, hands wrapped around the mug for warmth. And there she stayed. People came to talk to her, but she said nothing back, merely stared into empty space. Chakwas eventually came to Garrus, to ask for his help. She wanted to give Elaine some sedatives, to help her sleep, for she was still sat at the table hours later, not one sip of her cold tea missing. The turian was the strongest one on the deck who could help carry her or restrain her. Garrus didn't want to hurt Elaine, he'd heard of what had happened on the uncharted planet she called Thedas. He didn't want her to suffer any more than she already had.

He and the doctor went out to the table, and Garrus, unsure of what exactly was the right thing to do, went with his gut. He sat opposite her and gently reached out to touch her hand. "You okay?"

Ice blue eyes flickered. She looked at him as if confused as to why he was there. And then… she burst into tears. Garrus caught her when she fell into his embrace, and he held her as she sobbed, whispering soothing words. Words he remembered his mother used to say when he and his sister were young. Sweet nothing, murmured reassurances, promises of comfort.

"It's okay… I'm here," he told her, over and over again. "I'm here…"

As Elaine wept, he gestured to Chakwas. The Doctor came over and slipped Elaine the sedative. Garrus continued to hold her whilst they waited for the drug to take effect. When she finally slipped into the realm of oblivion, he carefully readjusted her to be easier to carry. Chakwas walked ahead of him to make sure all the doors were opened for him and that her bed was ready. The turian carried the human securely in his arms, unable to fight the feeling of cold in his heart as he gazed upon her tear-stained face. Slowly, he lowered her into the bed and Chakwas tucked her in.

Though Chakwas said she should sleep peacefully, Garrus wasn't entirely convinced. So, he swore to make up for his past mistakes, to not fail Elaine now where he'd failed before. Vow sworn to, he pulled up a chair by her bunk, flicked on his omnitool and settled himself in for a long vigil.

* * *

Whilst this was all happening on the deck below, Shepard made his report to Anderson and marched straight for Mordin's office, confident that with the sort-of answers he'd found on Thedas. He also hoped that the message would be very clear to the rest of the Alliance should they ever think to venture there again: STAY AWAY. No more lives needed to be lost in that hell-hole.

The Commander was still a little disturbed by what he'd seen on the planet… bodies of monsters, one alive that tried to kill him, a _thing_ that showed him visions…

Shepard had always thought of himself as a reasonable and practical man. He dug for evidence and followed it where it led him. He didn't care for politics or sensitivity to other matters. And he certainly didn't buy into any kind of fantasy. Even when he'd been after Saren, he himself had doubted Reapers were anything but some distant unrelated threat- right up until he spoke to one. So if Commander Shepard had been asked if he believed in elves, dwarves, dragons, monsters, demons… he would've said a big fat NO. And yet that _desire demon_ , as Elaine had called it, had shown him Elaine killing a dragon. And Samara had said that Elaine's very life-like memories had shown what his species had deemed impossible. Shepard was so confused. He couldn't believe in all this, he always followed reality and his gut.

And now his gut was telling him this was true. Damn it.

So, the Commander did what any reasonable man would do when faced with something he couldn't rationalise. He went to someone who knew more than he did.

Mordin was rushing all about around his lab, checking samples, writing out equations, performing new tests, researching, all the while mumbling to himself at super high speeds. Usually that would be enough to give Shepard a headache. But he needed answers more. "Doc? You got a minuet?"

The professor looked up from his work and beamed tiredly. "Shepard! Excellent timing!"

"I wanted to see if you had any explanations," Shepard strode forward, attempting to hide the way he seemed on edge as he leaned against Mordin's work bench. "You know, for what we saw down there."

"Yes, most unsettling. Many questions, lots of holes in story, want answers. Understand. Will tell you leading theories I have."

"What we saw in that vision… is it true?"

"Don't know. If so, have no evidence to disprove it – other than impossibility of time travel. However, could be lie. Vision projected by demon as a way to catch us off guard. Confuse and divide us. Nothing conclusive, either way"

"How did it manage to show us that at all?"

"From Elaine's descriptions, would think demons work as parasitic beings similar to Asari-Ardat-Yakshi." When Shepard gave Mordin a look as to how he could possibly know about the Asari's most embarrassing secret, Mordin rolled his eyes. "Please, Shepard. Leading professor in genetics. Would know about even secret Asari genetic conditions. Getting off track! Demon like Ardat-Yakshi: uses melding of nervous system, mind-to-mind, will project fantasies of victims choice and feeds off of victim through the brain."

"Okay then, what about everything else?" Shepard pressed, hand rubbing against the slight stubble on his chin. "The creatures on that planet, how is it they're connected to Elaine?"

This seemed to be the one thing Mordin was troubled by. "Don't know. Blight is very elusive disease. So much testing, few answers right now. Interesting though how Darkspawn have original strand – strong and potent, deadly. In Elaine is adaptation, variation of original – likely caused by Joining meddling. And then in Collectors… different as well."

"Professor," spoke the voice of EDI as her bubble-head appeared in the corner of the room. "If I may, I have a theory on the Collectors' strand of the disease."

Shepard frowned. "You know how they got it?"

"Possibly," she said. "Collector pods were found on Thedas, and had evidently been left there some time ago. So it would be correct to assume that the Collectors found Thedas and sought to experiment on its inhabitants. Judging by the body count in the valley, they were met with heavy resistance."

"Thanks for stating the obvious…"

"Elaine has continuously warned about the ease with which the blight disease could be contracted. Perhaps during the incursion, some of the Collector drones were infected. With no true intelligence, the drones did nothing to prevent the disease claiming them one by one, and on their ship, as Elaine said: 'it spread like wildfire'."

Slowly, Shepard nodded, eyes darting back and forth as the picture started to become clearer to him. "And I can bet the Reapers weren't fond of something potentially killing their toys…"

"Precisely. My theory is that the Reapers intervened with the virus, but could not destroy it. They changed it. Moulded it…"

"…They weaponised it to their advantage."

* * *

Taking a drag of his cigarette, the Illusive Man glanced down passively at the vid-call projected on the arm of his chair. At his computer, he was reading through her report, his eyebrows slowly inching upwards the more he read. This looked much more promising then he'd anticipated. "You're sure that's what you saw?"

In the vid-call, Miranda was fiddling with the ends of her hair, thinking he wouldn't notice. It was a nervous habit she still had from her days under her father's rule. _"Yes sir,"_ she said edgily. _"We went up against one of those things – I mean, that thing looked like it could throw a boulder around like a softball. And Elaine, she took it down sir, as if she'd done it a thousand times before."_

"Interesting…" he murmured. "I'll have one of our other cells look into this planet ourselves. Maybe there's something we can gleam from it."

 _"_ _Sir, that's not necessary,"_ Miranda hastily said. _"Shepard's doing good work out here, if we focus our resources on the Collectors –"_

His swift glare cut her short. "You forget yourself, Miranda. You don't question my attention on this mission. It is everything to me. But even you realise that a good player has to be three steps ahead. We need to think about the betterment of humanity after we've saved it."

 _"_ _I understand that, sir. But what betterment for humanity will we find there? That place is dangerous. Its not worth the risk. The cost is–"_

"Is not your concern. Just do your job." And he terminated the call.

Dragging into his lungs another pull of tar and nicotine, the Illusive Man let it all out with a calming sigh. When he opened his blazing electric eyes again, he took another look at the other piece of intel he'd received that day. The Shadow Broker did seem to have a great sense of timing. From his informants, monitoring software and security footage analysis, the Broker managed to give him quite the background on Miss Elaine Cousland. The physical results she showed were impressive, enough to make the mind boggle and ambitions turning. Still reading over the intel, the Illusive man hit a button and summoned up another call.

"Send Shepard the information to give to Liara T'soni," he ordered. "The Shadow Broker has outlived his usefulness."

* * *

 **A/N: See? I told you this would be on time! Oh, our poor Grey Warden, things just aren't looking up for her any time soon. And they only get much worse before they get better...**

 **Please review!**


	24. The Only Way Out

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Trigger Warning of content alluding to self-harming involved. Please, this is a serious issue, and should any of my readers be feeling this, please know that you are not alone and that help is always available.**

* * *

 _The path sloped and tumbled, gravity had her upside down and every which way up. She ran along the path, the mist hounding at her heels, threatening to choke her should she not run fast enough. Lungs heaving for air, muscles screaming for rest, the Warden felt as if her strength would fail and she'd collapse at any moment. But she couldn't stop! It was right behind her!_

 _The ground began to crack open, the steam and fiery light of lava spilling up to scorch her bare feet. She tried to leap over them but the chasms yawned wider and wider. Down into an abyss she stared, where a hundred thousand monsters were reaching up to try and snatch at her limbs, to claim her and pull her down to feast on her flesh. By sheer force of will, she managed to jump the distance, kicking their loathsome touch away. Her hair was down, it was blowing in her face, wrapping around her throat, strangling her!_

 _With gnarled fingers, she tore out her hair, yelping with every yank on her scalp. Still, she wasn't allowed to stop. It was coming closer. There! A bend. A small alcove in the groves on the rocky walls. She could hide there. Squeezing in, she tucked in every body part she could, and even stopped breathing for hope that she would escape detection. Echoes haunted the Fade, taunting her, confusing her on the location of her hunter. Was it to the left? Or ahead?_

 _A cold crept in around her ankles. Slowly, it travelled up her calves and her legs, gripping her knees and then her thighs. She looked down. The mist! Green tendrils of poisonous fumes climbed its way up encircling her body. Already, she could catch the faint whiff of stench that threatened to suffocate her. In a fit of panic, she bolted from her hiding spot and back into the open road. She ran, unable to think of anything else to do._

 _Darkness eclipsed her from above, a second before the sky fell down to land in front of her. The impact was so tremendous it shook the ground, cracking it upon and allowing the lava light to slip through the cracks. It illuminated the beastly face that unfurled from the mass of writhing scales and snake-like limbs. Before she could stop, the Archdemon snatched her up in its huge paw. The talons sliced into her body, each tip a fresh fire-iron of agony that made her whimper. Slowly, it brought her up in front of its monstrous face, examining her with those evil milky eyes._

 _"_ _ **Release us…"**_ _it growled out._ _ **"RELEASE US!"**_

Elaine bolted awake with a shriek, sweat pouring down her body. Sheets tangled around her legs and she fought them in a fit of panic. The air was too stifling! She could still hear the roar of the Archdemon in her ears!

"Elaine! _Elaine_!"

Rough hands caught hold of her shoulders and shook her. The voice and the motion snapped her attention into focus. A face materialised in front of her. Garrus. He was hunched over her bunk, tired-looking eyes searching hers with concern. Taking a moment to recognise their surroundings, Elaine slowly forced her tensed muscles to relax. Her heart beat was still wild, it still hurt to breathe. But if she gave the illusion of calm, perhaps it might actually work.

"You okay?" Garrus asked softly.

"I…" her throat was dry, her lips cracked. "I'm fine. How…?"

"You've been asleep for just over 24 hours," the turian told her. "I… err, I wanted to stay to make sure you were alright."

His words barely registered, her knees were knocking together furiously.

"You want anything? Food? Drink?" he seemed unsure, hovering as if he had no idea what to do next.

"Food… please." She mumbled.

Throwing the sheets off, she had Garrus help her to stand. Perhaps her time asleep had been too long, her legs felt too week to hold her. Her friend faithfully helped her when she asked him to give her assistance to the bathroom. When they finally reached the door, she was able to support herself by leaning against the wall. Garrus told her he'd go and make her something to eat and then come back for her in a few minutes. She thanked him and closed the door. Maybe all she needed to do was relieve herself and splash a little cold water on her face, help it banish the nightmare, anything to help her forget the heavy grief that weighed on her heart. Not even nightmares and day-long sleeps could make her forget the home that had died without her. Why was the universe so unfair that she got to live on, whilst millions of people from different races had died?

Someone had left their body-cleaning supplies behind, just a toothbrush, razors and a towel. Wetting her face, Elaine reached for the towel and dabbed at her cheeks, hoping whoever owned this wouldn't mind a few tears amongst the water. Looking into the mirror, she wondered –

The face of the Archdemon glared back at her.

Elaine recoiled away, falling to the floor in a painful heap. Was the nightmare not over?! Was she still asleep?! No, she'd jarred her hip in the fall, she was very much awake! What was this?

 ** _"_** ** _Elaaaaaaaaaaaine…"_**

The voice came from everywhere, it echoed and reverberated around her ears yet didn't seem to ring off of the metal stalls all around her. Neither male nor female in sound, it more resembled a growl forming words. Elaine trembled. Her heart began to race. Her breathing became quick and shallow. Slowly, she inched back towards the mirror. Though only her face stared back at her in the glass, Elaine heard the echoes of a familiar rumble in her ears.

"No… no!" her voice was quiet but grew louder with her rising panic. "This isn't possible!"

 ** _"_** ** _The witch warned you, did she not?"_** said the voice in her head, clear as a bell.

"You can't be! You can't be in my head!"

 ** _"_** ** _You are part of the taint… we both are…"_** It taunted, its foul breath wafting along the inside of her nose. ** _"You made the killing blow… you survived…"_**

"Get out…" she hissed, true fear over taking her. It must be true! When she'd died at the Battle of Denerim, Morrigan must've summoned Urthemiel alongside her own soul. She slapped her hands hard against her temples, the sharp sting of pain the only thing reminding her it was real. "Get out – get out – GET OUT!"

 ** _"_** ** _We are one. You are the Blight now. There is no escape."_**

"Get out! I'll do nothing you say! Your vile creatures destroyed my home!"

The voice snarled, sending a bolt of electrical pain racing across her skull. **_"You abandoned it. You left it to die. You killed them._** "

"No! No, that wasn't my fault – I only just got here. I didn't do anything!"

 ** _"_** ** _Exactly."_** Chuckled the voice, the sound lacking mirth or warmth, and instead sounded cruel. ** _"You did nothing while they burned. You wasted your days while they suffered."_**

Tears bubbled at Elaine's eyes, and cascaded down her cheeks. Andraste sword, it was right. While she'd been playing friend to the Crew of the Normandy, her world had been dying. She thought of all those people dying in the horrific ways she knew Darkspawn could inflict. It made her stomach turn. "I didn't know… I – I didn't…"

 ** _"_** ** _You would have loved to see them squirm. To need you. To beg for your mercy. To save them. The great Hero."_**

Gasping, she recoiled and fell to the floor, too weak to withstand such blows. Sobs ravaged her throat. No, it couldn't try to tell her she wanted this! It was the last thing she wanted! Was it? She remembered all the times she'd yearned to punch a peasant in the teeth when he questioned her motives, when he blindly followed Loghain's lies. And then she remembered the satisfaction she'd felt when people finally started to recognise her authority. But no! she never wanted this!

It was trying to make her doubt herself, to surrender. No! She would not submit. "Beast! I killed you once – I'll kill you again!"

 ** _"_** ** _Yeeessss…"_** it cheered maliciously. ** _"You always loved the violence, didn't you? You craved the slaughter, thirsted for bloodshed. It didn't matter who you fought, so long as you were fighting. Killing. Destroying. Not so different from the Darkspawn…"_**

"I am a Grey Warden! I am a good woman!"

 ** _"_** ** _You took evil into yourself. You wanted it. You became part of it. It is who you are now."_**

No matter what excuses she gave herself, she could not escape the truth. She had always loved the violence. Since she was a little girl. Normal girls didn't like playing with swords, did they? They liked pretty dresses and dreaming of wealthy husbands. She'd wanted war and battle and a number of kills she could find glory in. She'd willingly allowed herself to go into the ranks of the Wardens. Even when she knew the foul price, she swallowed their taint greedily, just for the chance to be able to kill them herself. And then she'd turned that hunger on Howe and his followers, on Loghain and all those associated with him, anyone who stood in her way had fallen to her sword. All she'd needed was the excuse.

The shame and guilt left her hollow. "Maker, forgive me… I didn't–"

 ** _"_** ** _THE MAKER IS GONE."_** Said a new voice that thundered through her skull and made every drop of blighted-blood in her veins catch fire. ** _"THERE IS ONLY ME."_**

Elaine screamed as white-hot agony exploded across her brain. As if liquid fire had been poured across her head, it burned at everything it touched. She writhed across the floor, fingernails digging into her forehead as she tried to claw the pain out of her. Through the haze of her vision, she saw a great dragon, with foul wings as black as night, overgrown teeth chomping at lacerated gums, roaring at her, the sound filling her up and causing her mind to implode. In the dragon's eye was no milky light… instead there was only a red glow.

The Warden screamed with fear and pain. Desperately trying to crawl away, she managed to make it to the bottom of the sink. Reaching up, she managed to hook one shaking arm onto around the bowl and hoisted herself up. But the torture was too much. Her brain was melting behind her eyeballs. She could feel the corruption in her blood spearing her flesh in a thousand directions. And her soul was deteriorating under the weight of her sins. With no strength left, she fell, and several objects clattered to the floor with her. Feebly she tried to hold her hands up to shield her hurting body, and yowled anew when a fresh pain sliced a finger.

As if staring at something new and foul, she watched the blood bubbled up and over her skin. She saw it turn putrid and black, watched it corrode everything it touched. It was going to kill everything, hurt everyone on this ship. She had to stop it! She couldn't let this foul thing inside her win!

Through her pain, her gaze landed on the blade of the razor, stained red with her blood, lying on the floor. Hurriedly, she reached for it. Dying was not the fear for her. She'd reconciled her death a long time ago. No, now she needed to protect those few people she had left to care about… from herself. She was a walking disease, a harbourer of the monster to bring the end, a mass-murderer in her own right. This had to end. There was no other way.

* * *

"Hey,"

Shepard looked up from his terminal, a little surprised to find Tali stood right beside him. How long had she been there? He'd come down to work this morning and he'd been so engrossed in reports and emails, he'd hardly had a thought for the environment around him.

Rubbing his eyes, he turned his attention on his quarrian visitor. "Hey, Tali. Sorry, I didn't see you there."

"It's alright," she said. Those bright eyes behind the mask looked over Shepard, a little worriedly. "You okay?"

"I've… erm, I've been better."

"I heard it was rough down there, planet-side. I wanted to go see Elaine, I thought she might be better now… but she was still sleeping." A long silence stretched between them. Damn it, Shepard knew he was no good at small talk. He was about to speak something – anything – but Tali seemed to realise it first and said: "Look, Shepard, I want to apologise."

That caught him by surprise. He raised a brow at her, confused. "Apologise? For what?"

The Quarian turned her hands over and over, curling around herself as she always did when she was embarrassed. "I've been thinking about the last time we talked. I'm sorry. I was unprofessional, and I wasn't thinking rationally. I was being stupid. I mean, who talks to their captain like that?"

"Tali, you don't have to apologise," Shepard said quickly before Tali could work herself up. "There was nothing offensive in what you did. Besides, I had fun. More than I've had in… a while."

"Oh, um, well… good." She murmured, the momentum she'd probably built in her head leading up to this moment now negated. Shyly, she ducked her head. "Sorry, I must seem really silly, coming to you with this. You're obviously busy and–"

Again, he warded her off. Curiously, he knew if anyone else wasted his time this way, Shepard would've been annoyed. But with Tali it was endearing, and he smiled somewhat. "No, no, it's not you. I've just gotten an email through from Cerberus. They want me to have some information on the Shadow Broker."

Immediately, Tali knew a task was at hand. Her spine straightened and she instantly focused. Leaning beside him to look at the open email he indicated to, she tilted her head in a way to suggest she was frowning. "But I thought Liara was going after him?"

"Yeah," the Commander nodded, doing his best to shove down the emotions that responded to the Asari's very name. "They want me to give it to her when we next stop at Illium."

Tali stood and studied him for a moment. Hesitantly, her small hand reached out and touched his arm. Reassurance; it took him a moment to figure out what she was doing. "You're not looking forward to it, are you?"

He sighed, the strength sagging out of his shoulders. "You didn't see her face, Tali. When she looked at me… it was like she didn't know me. Like she didn't know how to be around me. When I woke up, it felt like I was out of it maybe a few weeks. I went to her thinking… I don't know what I thought…"

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I don't have any idea what you possibly went through. But don't let it get you. It wasn't your fault. We all grieved in our own way. Liara just… found her solace in her work. I can sort of understand that. Once you pretend to be something for so long, it becomes the truth."

"And what did you pretend to be?"

"The admiral's daughter worthy of the term; the quarrian deserving to be alongside Commander Shepard – take your pick."

"You know damn well you deserved it all. The Flotilla should be honoured to have you, and the respect you've brought the Quarian people. And as for being on my ship? Who else would I have as an engineer specialist?"

Tali was speechless, for a long moment, she just stared. The light on her helmet kept blinking, as if she were opening and closing her mouth but no sound came out. Finally, a choked noise managed to force its way to his ears. "I… Shepard, I don't… Thank you. And whatever you decide to do next, I'm with you."

"And what if I just make a bigger ass of myself?"

She snorted. "Well, at least you'll be a cute ass to m–"

 _"_ _Shepard!"_ shouted Garrus' voice over the comm.

Shepard winced at the volume. "Garrus? What's with–"

 _"_ _Commander, you gotta get down here!"_ the turian sounded panicked. _"Elaine's locked herself in the bathroom – I keep hearing her cry out. I think she's in trouble."_

Running for the elevator, Shepard was already giving out the orders. "EDI! Open those doors, get Garrus in there! I'm on my way!"

For every second that ticked by, the Commander cursed over and over the bane of his existence that was slow elevators. Thankfully, as if sensing the urgency, the elevator got him to Deck3 rather quickly. The doors weren't even fully opened and he was squeezing himself through and racing around the corner towards the women's bathroom. The doors were open, just as Shepard had ordered. He found both Garrus and Samara standing frozen within the threshold of the doors. Barging his way in, impatiently the Commander wanted to see what the problem was… Before he froze up too.

Elaine stood, barefoot on the tiled floor, hair a dishevelled mess, bruises forming along her exposed arms and shoulders. Tear tracks stained her face, her breathing wasn't normal. Blood dripped from her fingers and tapped ominously loud against the tile floor, from where she clutched a razor blade tightly in her hand. Already, Shepard could see slashes across her arms and body, thankfully misses of major veins but still enough to stain her body crimson. The random placing of the slashes looked as if she were disorientated. And yet the woman's eyes held such pain, such determination, it kept Shepard completely still from fear.

Mind racing, Shepard tried to find a solution. His eyes found an air vent in the ceiling just behind Elaine. An idea sprung to attention, and he grabbed hold of Samara's arm. Though the Justicar wanted to shake him off in face of the dire situation, Shepard hurriedly whispered under his breath. "Get Thane. Tell EDI to direct him to _that_ vent."

He pointed out the vent, and Samara seemed to catch on to what he meant. She slowly retreated and then hurried towards life-support. Shepard stepped further into the room to enter her vacated spot. With Garrus beside him, the pair of them stood ready to direct Elaine's attention completely on them. They had to subdue her, Shepard had no clue what had caused this, but he wouldn't let it continue.

"Elaine," he tried to say, slowly inching forward. "Can we put the razor down, please?"

"Get back!" she shrieked, and waved it at them. "You need to get out of here!"

"That's not going to happen," Garrus said firmly. Though his voice was unwavering, Shepard only had to glance at the turian's eyes to notice the fear in them. "Come on, Elaine, just calm down… talk to us–"

"No!" she hissed, tears streaming down her face. "You don't understand. I _have_ to end this! I can't let it go on."

"I understand you're upset–"

"You know nothing! They're _dead_ , everyone's dead – and I'm still here! And it's all my fault. I brought this on us… If I don't destroy it, it'll destroy _us_ …" her lip trembled, her frame shaking, the tears flowing continuously. "I'm doing this to save you! Please, believe me!"

Shepard became aware that Samara was back at his side. That meant Thane was in position. Daringly, he took a step forward, trying so hard to keep himself level and not react to how closely to home her words were striking. "We believe you, Elaine. But maybe I don't believe this is the solution–"

"Don't try to – _AGH_!" she went to move back from him, but suddenly screeched. Her hands cupped her head, as if she had the world's most painful headache. Screaming, she shook her head back and forth, like a dog shaking its coat. "It's in my head! Get it out! GET IT OUT!"

In a hurry of panic, she pressed the razor blade against her throat, intending to slit it open. Garrus and Shepard went to surge forward, cries of fear forming on their tongues. Before either could move, the grate on the vent suddenly clattered to the floor right before Thane jumped down. The Drell landed right behind Elaine. The woman, startled, tried to turn, to face a new threat. With the same lightning fast reactions Shepard had witnessed in the Danteous towers, Thane grabbed hold of Elaine's wrist in one hand, her opposite shoulder in the other. He managed to pin her left arm to her side, and with a wrench and a twist he pulled her right arm so taunt that any move or resistance on her part would dislocate it. In such a compromised position, Elaine's fingers went lax from the pain shooting along her muscles. The razor blade clattered to the floor.

"Let me go!" Elaine shouted. Though her arms were taken, the woman still fought with her legs. Though they could all see the pain her struggles caused her, the woman was so out of her own mind she fought like a wild animal. Thrashing, she roared. "NO! IT'LL KILL YOU! ALL OF YOU!"

"Samara," Shepard ordered. "Can you do something?"

The Justicar nodded and strode forward. "Fear not, Shepard. I shall break this hold on her." Knocking aside Elaine's legs that tried to keep her at bay, Samara came in close, nodding to Thane to keep her still. Taking hold of Elaine's face in her hands, the asari bent her brow close to the human's, eyes closed. "Elaine, you must allow me inside. I swore an oath I would not do this without your cooperation. You need to let me banish this delirium."

Something must've gotten through to the Warden on some level. For after a moment, Samara could sense the resistance around Elaine's mind ease a fraction. It was all the invitation the Justicar needed. When her eyes snapped open, they were black, as she delved into the Warden's mind.

 _There was only a moment to be taken to breaking the last remaining barricades, and then Samara was inside. Images, sensations, sounds and smells assaulted her at first, but slowly swam into focus. And almost instantly, the Justicar knew something was different here. Elaine's mind had been like an ocean of stars, each bright light a stray thought or memory shining brightly for attention. There was an air of lonely tranquillity in such a place. Yet now, those lights were either snuffed out, or burning so brightly she feared they would explode. In the centre of it all, Samara felt this mass appear. A thick twisting blackness like oil and tar given a moving form writhed in the back of Elaine's mind. Samara pushed herself towards it, believing this to be the source of Elaine's mental upset._

 _As she came closer, the mindscape around her changed. Gone were the stars, and swimming into focus was a place most strange. Green skies were clouded with a fine mist, islands floated on air with ruins and statues and twisting monstrosities that might've been plant life adorning them. Floating high, always visible like a moon, was the shadow of a black city floating in the air miles away. A creeping sense of dread crept over Samara the further in she waded. A intense perverted sensation of wrongness crawled across her skin, a feeling that this place was not natural, was not good. It pushed against her, made her feel unwelcomed, like it wanted to swallow her up and devour her in its greedy embrace._

 _Samara pushed against this force, using all the power she could muster in an attempt to push this foul presence out. Her asari body gave her mastery of all things to do with the mind. This evil would bow to her will. And though it struggled against her hold, Samara pushed it back._

 _In that moment, right before her appeared a monstrosity. A reptilian-like creature, with scales festering and falling away to reveal mutated flesh beneath. Oversized teeth poked out of its mouth, cutting into gums that bled black blood. Huge and terrible wings flared from its back, nearly eclipsing the entire mind of Elaine in shadow. The monster turned its long snout so that it could gaze upon its prey with a milky-white eye, the centre glowing a slight metallic red. The Justicar was unprepared to have the gaze directed onto her specifically. This was an image inside of Elaine's mind, yet this THING was looking straight into Samara as if it were physically there. Contempt and hate emanated from that gaze and made all around feel small and insignificant with fear._

 _Then the creature opened its mouth and roared. A terrible sound filled with nothing but a stream of darkness and corruption. Like a burning fire spewing forth from its mouth, the sound hit Samara and pushed her back with unequalled force. The Justicar cried out in pain as she felt herself being sliced by a thousand blades, a deafening and terrible song drowning her even as it battered her aside. Nothing the Asari could do could hold her grip in Elaine's mind. The more she tried to hold on, the harder the creature pushed, with seemingly an infinite supply of strength. The further back she went, it followed just as quickly, as if it sought to follow its way out of Elaine and into the real world!_

With a sharp cry, Samara was thrust back into her own body. The images of the monster inside Elaine's head followed her out, and in her disorientation, Samara's body blasted out a defence in the only way it knew how. A biotic throw hit Elaine, and it shoved both her and Thane back until they smacked against the bathroom wall. Thane took the brunt of it, and slumped, dazed. Even Elaine's head had snapped back against the tiles, and seemed to be rendered unconscious from the force for just a fraction of a second.

"Samara!" Shepard exclaimed and hurriedly helped her up where she'd fallen. "Samara, what happened?"

Returning to herself, the Justicar shakily attempted to regain her composure, even when she felt anything but composed inside. Slowly she stood, guilt swarming her when she looked upon the damage her frantic mind had caused out of fear. "I… I don't know… she shut me out…"

With a groan, they became aware of Elaine slowly coming back around. Eyes blinking open, it was almost a relief to see the demented glaze to her gaze was gone. She looked about confused, fear creeping back into her gaze with every passing second. She tried to get up, but Thane, who still had some sense, tried to wrestle her back into submission. A wild animal in a trap, she thrashed. There was a sickening _CRACK-POP_ , and Elaine's arm slipped free of Thane's grasp… and hung uselessly where it was dislocated at the shoulder.

Thane was taken aback at the woman's resolve, which was his downfall when Elaine didn't let the pain of her dislocation slow her from punching him across the face with her other hand. The same hand snatched something from his belt, and she kicked him away from her. Shepard and the others didn't get to see what she'd stolen until she turned and they saw her press Thane's pistol against her forehead.

"Elaine, _NO_!" Garrus cried, wanting to leap forward and wrestle the gun from her grasp, but was frozen in place for fear of setting her off.

"Grey Warden, stand down!" Shepard barked.

Perhaps it was some of the warrior training in her, but something responded to the orders from a voice of authority. At least for the moment; Elaine's arm trembled against her temple, and the glare she cast Shepard was equal parts pleading and murderous. "You don't understand! The Archdemon is in my head!"

"No, it's not. You just think it is," the words were the wrong ones, he knew straight away, for the hurt and indignation in her eyes told him so. Before she could find her resolve, Shepard dared to go for a far more terrifying tactic. "Elaine… I know how you feel,"

"How could you _possibly_ know how I feel?" she spat.

"I know you feel scared. You're alone. And you don't understand any of this. You don't know why this has happened to you, and the fact that you don't know makes it feel so much worse."

She paused, eyes slowly widening to stare at him when the truth of each word sank in. Shepard attempted to ignore the lump in his throat, how every sentence that left his mouth felt less directed at Elaine and more towards himself. Images of the men he'd lost on Akuze, the crew of the original Normandy who didn't survive the Collectors, his own death as he spun through space, it all flittered through his head, and each one brought a lump to his throat that he tried to fight.

"You keep asking yourself; why are you alive? Why are you here and none of them? You wonder what you could've done – every moment, it's going through your head, playing those events over and over – to see if there was something different that might've changed all this."

Tears leaked from her eyes and her voice turned to a choked whisper. "Yes… yes…"

"You keep seeing their faces, don't you?" Shepard said, taking small steps towards her, never daring to take his eyes off her. An equal pain radiated between them, a grief they shared only with their eyes. "All the people you knew, the people you loved… you see them when you close your eyes. You can't stop thinking about them. And you can't stand it, but you don't want the memories to go away. They're all you've got left. Even when it hurts you to see them, to know you couldn't do anything to save them."

"It should've been _me_ ," she sobbed, lowering the gun to point it at her chest as if it were an extension of her hand. "I was the one prepared to die. They shouldn't have died because of me."

"It wasn't because of you," he told her adamantly. "I know how easy it is to tell yourself it _was_ you. But there was nothing you could've done. They died long before you could've done anything to help."

"But the Blight is in me, it kills everything. I can't watch it kill any more people."

"I know you want to end it, believe me, I know how easy that road is. But this is not the way, Elaine. Think of those people you've loved and lost; would they want you to end it this way? Or would they want you to keep on fighting?" she shivered and broke into a fit of tears and pathetic cried. Shepard did his best to hold back the emotions that threatened to pour out of him. he reached out his empty hand and held it before her. "Just give me the gun, Elaine. Keep fighting with me. Fight to make this galaxy better, to honour their memory. Don't let it end with you. Give me the gun…"

She looked at his hand, as if perplexed by it. Slowly, she turned to look at the gun. Her frame shook as the adrenaline wore off. An eternity seemed to crawl by as she just stared. Then her reach slowly extended, and she pushed the gun into Shepard's hand. Nodding to her, he put the gun away at the back of his waist band. Elaine staggered, her breathing deepening as she tried to calm herself. And then, her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she collapsed.

"Get her to Chakwas!"

Whilst Samara rushed forward to help Thane across the room, Shepard and Garrus helped each other take hold of Elaine and carried her out and to the medbay. EDI alerted Chakwas ahead of them, and the Doctor was waiting for them when they arrived. The first thing she did, as Elaine wasn't fully unconscious, was pop the woman's arm back into socket. Quickly, she then plunged a sedative into Elaine's neck, and allowed the woman to sleep. Garrus and Shepard hung around anxiously as they waited whilst Chakwas did various tasks. She patched up Elaine's slashes and healed them over rather quickly, for they hadn't been very deep. Pulling out her scanners, she set to work on a full neuro scan.

"I've done what I can, Shepard." Chakwas sighed half an hour later, walking towards them with a bone weary look on her face. "All I could detect was unusual brain waves. Whatever this mental lapse was, it affected her blood pressure and heart rate immensely. But for now, things look as if they're returning to normal. She's in the clear."

The two men sighed with relief. "You know what caused this?"

"I'm a doctor, not a therapist, Commander. This was a mental lapse, a psychotic break. My best guess? This poor woman has seen many dreadful things in her time, Shepard. Things that have left her emotionally scarred. With the discovery of her home destroyed, and the emotional stress that the entire trip to Thedas involved… it's no wonder a part of her broke under the strain."

"Will she be okay?"

"Physically, she's fine," Chakwas nodded. "But she'll need help in the coming weeks. I'd recommend Miss Chambers having regular sessions with her to be sure she's on the road to recovery. Other than that? We need to be there for her. Elaine is grieving, and the best thing we can do is emotionally support her as best we can."

* * *

Shepard and Garrus had decided between them to take it in rotations over watching Elaine whilst she remained in the Medbay. Shepard had gone on first watch. Garrus had gotten stuck with the graveyard shift. Chakwas had retired a few hours ago, and Garrus was struggling to keep his eyes open, even when sat in the most uncomfortable chair imaginable at the side of Elaine's bed. But he wouldn't let himself fail. All that kept going through his head was seeing Elaine stood in that bathroom, blood dripping from her body, and then pressing a gun to her temple, ready to end it all…

He shivered. Guilt threatened to consume him. Damn it, he'd only left her only for a few minutes. The tray of food he'd prepared for her had been left forgotten in the canteen when he'd run back towards the bathroom at her first scream. Spirits, he hadn't known what he was going to do. Watching her fall apart, he felt responsible, that he'd left her alone, that he hadn't checked properly if she was okay in herself when she'd woken up. He couldn't bare to see her like that, a strong woman reduced to nothing.

"Garrus?" came a hoarse whisper.

His eyes snapped up to meet Elaine's; clear and bright icy blue, not marred or glazed with madness – thank the spirits. Elbows propped on the mattress, he leant forward… and didn't know what else to do.

"Hey, tough-girl," he forced a smile, trying to make light of the situation, to make her laugh, anything to cover up how rotten he felt at seeing her lying there in that bed. "How're you doing?"

"I… I just…" she seemed confused at first, looking around the Medbay as the answers were written on the wall somewhere. Sinking back into the mattress, she stared at her arm in a sling. "Did I hurt anyone?"

"Well, I think you bruised Krios's ego, but other than that…" the smile dropped from his mandibles when he realised she wasn't laughing with him. "No, you didn't hurt anyone. You wouldn't have. I know you wouldn't."

Still the look of shame did not leave her face. She closed her eyes, and let loose a long exhale.

Garrus could feel the misery pouring off of her, and knew when he wasn't welcome. "You should get some rest. I'll let you–"

A cold and pale hand snatched hold of his wrist before he could get far. Turning, Garrus met her eyes, fierce and pleading. "Please," she whispered. "I don't want to be alone."

How could he leave her like that? Returning to his seat, he tried to alleviate some of the fear in her eyes by taking hold of her hand in his own and giving it a gentle squeeze. A sigh escaped her, her shoulders sagging. Garrus hadn't realised how tense she'd been. He remembered Chakwas' words, to support her through this grief of hers.

"Forgive me,"

The words startled him with their suddenness and drew him out of his own thoughts and back into her. "Huh?"

She rolled her head on the pillow, her eyes filled with sorrow. "For everything I've done to you. What happened with Sidonis, for betraying you like that… I'm so sorry, just… Just please forgive me. Don't leave me alone inside my own mind again. I can't… I can't–"

The turian was rendered speechless. How could she ever think herself in the wrong? How could a woman so angelic ever think to ask his forgiveness? Had she not known he'd forgiven her long ago? Had she thought his reluctance around her lately was her fault? No! How could he let her think that! Both of his hands wrapped around hers and held it reverently.

"No," he shook his head vehemently. "I'm the one in the wrong, Elaine. I pushed you out because I was mad – at first. And then I realised what an ass I was and I… I didn't know how to apologise back then. I was too stubborn, too prideful. I didn't know how to earn your forgiveness. But I promise, I'm gonna make it up to you. I'm never gonna leave you like that again."

Elaine smiled, biting her bottom lip to hold back tears, and nodded. They sat there for a long time. Companionable silence floated around them. Garrus didn't let go of her hand, and she did not want him to. Every now and then he felt her fingers twitch in his, as if reassuring herself he was still there. Garrus' mind turned back once again to Chakwas' advice, and that, as well as his own curiosity, compelled him to ask.

"You wanna talk about it?"

For a long time, she said nothing, and he wasn't going to push her. And then, she nodded. "I thought the Archdemon was in my head. I was so sure it was… it felt so real… Older Wardens, those who had lived with the taint long enough, some of them claimed to be able to understand the Archdemons when they dreamt. I never did, I've only been a Warden for a year and a half. During the Blight, I never understood it. Ever since we got back from the Collector Ship, I've been having dreams of the Archdemon."

"What kind of dreams?"

"Awful ones. Most of the time I can't make sense of them. It's always after me, terrorising me. After a time, it began to speak to me. I thought I was possessed."

"What makes you say that?"

"You remember when I told you how an Archdemon dies?" He nodded. "I thought, when I didn't die with it, what if it's soul stowed away inside me? I feared it was going to take me over. I couldn't let that happen. It would've killed everyone on this ship."

"So you thought…"

"I'm not afraid of death, Garrus," she whispered. "I've been reconciled to take my life for the greater good for a long time. It was always the sacrifice I was prepared to make. I knew eve long before that I wasn't meant to live."

"Bullshit." He suddenly snapped. Elaine looked to him to argue, but he cut her off. "No, you listen to me, Elaine Cousland. I don't care about the sacrifice you think you need to make for the sake of duty. I don't care who told you your life was only worth to be thrown away or traded like a cheap playing card. I'm telling you, I've never met anyone who was more selfless, more compassionate, more heroic, than you. You, Elaine, make all of us feel inadequate. We all strive only to survive, to achieve the goal of the mission. But you go out of your way to help strangers with the most insignificant task. You are always helping others with no regard for yourself. And not only that, you expect that behaviour in others. No matter who we are, no matter what we've done, you look at us and treat us like the best version of ourselves. You inspire everyone around you to be _better_ then they were before, to become more then they thought they could. So I don't want to hear how you think your life is so easy to throw away – because I'm telling you, it's not. Not when you mean so much to all the people you meet."

Now it was his turn to render _her_ speechless. She gaped at him, and once the steam from his tirade had faded, Garrus had the decency to be embarrassed at the ferocity of his outburst. Ducking his head, he tried not to look at her. Still holding her hand, he felt when she squeezed his fingers tightly.

"And here I thought Turians understood the need for sacrifice in the name of duty…" she whispered.

He couldn't help the smirk that spread across his mandibles. "Just shows you how I'm not that good of a turian, huh?"

And then, for the first time, she smiled. A real smile. Garrus could've sworn it lit up the entire room around them. A weight lifted from his chest. For the first time in days, he finally felt like everything was going to be alright.

Another welcomed silence enveloped the two, and in the warm Medbay, contented and finally relaxed, Garrus found it continuously hard to resist the pull of sleep. His eyes refused to stop drooping, and then he found himself leaning into his hand, and then eventually he was resting his head on the bed. He must've dozed, for he couldn't remember when he started to feel an ever so light touch feather across his brow. Fingers like velvet tenderly stroked his forehead and along his crest. The turian purred contentedly, drowsily.

"You should go to bed, Garrus," said a voice. He blinked awake, and stared at Elaine. She smiled tiredly. "Go to bed. Get some rest."

"No, no," he protested, and shook himself awake. Damn it, maybe if he borrowed some stims from Chakwas? "I'm gonna stay here. I need to keep an eye on you. Shepard shouldn't be long…" he checked the time on his omni-tool. Crap. Shepard wouldn't be here for another two hours.

"I don't need a babysitter."

"I know. But I'm still not going."

"Garrus, you're falling asleep even whilst talking."

"Then why don't you go to sleep and you won't notice."

Her eyes darted away, a haunted look in them. "I can't sleep. I don't want to face what's on the other side…"

Guiltily for making her think of that, he leant forward and brushed her shoulder with a talon. It drew her attention back to him, the flesh he'd touched rising in goose-bumps. "I'm right here. Nothing's gonna go wrong. I promise."

"Would you…" she trailed off, a blush blooming along her cheeks even as she looked earnestly at him. "Would you sleep with me, tonight? I want to know someone's there, to help me out of it if I lose myself."

It felt a little awkward, but Garrus decided to just go with it. There was no way he was going to deny her after the ordeal she'd been through because of her nightmares and emotional stress. They were friends, so this shouldn't matter. He nodded, and he knew he made the right choice when he saw the relief on her face. Propping her weight on one elbow, Elaine shifted along in the bed, until she pressed herself against the side. Garrus climbed in and squeezed in on the other side. The single bed was so small both of them would've rolled off unless they accept sleeping on each other. They managed to wriggle into a somewhat comfortable position. With Elaine tucked against Garrus' side, her head laid on his arm, and he laying on one side so his fringe was comfortable on the human-made pillow.

He could feel how tense she was as his arm at her back brushed her shoulders. She was frightened of making a single move that might scare him off. He could safely say the feeling was mutual. Garrus was constantly worrying he'd move and aggravate her arm in the sling, or he'd do something that might unintentionally make this more awkward. They both needed a distraction, so he said the first thing that came to mind. "Tell me about your friends. The ones from before. You've mentioned them before, but not in detail. You wanna talk about it?"

She did. As the pair of them laid there in the gloom, Elaine's voice wrapped around them in a gentle hush as she spun a fantastic tale of many great friends for him. He learned about her best friend, a man named Alistair, always there to make her laugh, to support her through thick and thin unconditionally – who had also turned out to be a prince. She told him of the witch she'd thought she would hate, who was salty and bitchy to everyone she met, but Elaine learned to love like a sister. There was the bard that helped rekindle Elaine's faith in her god, and proved to be a dear friend. There was an elf, always flirting and though starting out on rocky ground proved to be the most loyal of all. Then there was the Qunari (Garrus had to guess what that was as his translator didn't have a substitute in his language for that word) who alienated her but proved to be the biggest softie she'd ever known. He was told story after story of the drunken dwarf that helped Elaine find her control of her rage after the massacre of her family. Another mage was also mentioned, an old woman who Elaine had looked to like a grandmother. And then there was the Golem, the most confusing one of Elaine's band of misfits, the one that seemed to despise all creatures of flesh and had an insane case of bird-phobia.

The more she talked, the more Garrus was convinced Elaine was more like Shepard than either realised. Garrus thought that only Shepard could take in such a bunch of misfits and unlikely people, just as Elaine had, and turned them into a loyal force of heroes to save the day.

After some time, Elaine's stories began to have long pauses in between segments. And then between each word. And then, Garrus chanced a look down, and found her asleep in his arms. A quick scan of his visor calmed him. There was no irregular brain waves or change in heart rate. From what he could tell, she was in peaceful bliss. He wondered if he should extract himself now that she was asleep. He contemplated slowly working his way free and returning to his chair, for surely Shepard would be along soon.

But the thought grew more distant with every passing moment. This spot was warm, and he was comfortable, and his limbs didn't really want to move. Elaine had pleaded with him to stay by her side, and he'd promised he would. Besides, his eyes were getting heavy, and his charge was right here… it wouldn't be so bad if he half-dozed…

A little while later, Shepard walked into the Medbay to find Garrus and Elaine both fast asleep on the bed, cuddled together their quiet snores filling the room. Nether stirred at his entrance nor at him coming closer. Even after the crazy few days he'd had, the Commander found it in him to smile at the two. Deciding to leave them to their peace, he turned around and walked back out.


	25. The Road To Recovery

A week passed as Elaine walked the long road towards recovery. Chakwas kept her in the Medbay for a further twenty-four hours, to be sure she was okay. It was a little unnecessary, but Elaine was in no position to argue. If anything, she felt shamed they had to go through all of this for her at all. She did not regret the things she did – she had been under the impression she was possessed, and indeed the experience had felt so real… she was still haunted if she stopped for a moment to think about it. And if she had been possessed, Elaine was still of the firm belief that it was the right course of action to prevent more death and take her own life. Yet, now it turned out she wasn't. And she was grateful to Shepard and the others for what they did to save her. She was shamed she'd put them through all this because she couldn't keep a hold of her own control.

Moving on with her life proved to be a little harder than she'd thought. She'd tried to ignore her grief, to pretend she'd never found out the truth. But in the quiet moments when she had nothing to do and no one to talk to, the memories were all she could think about. Then she attempted to just accept them and brush them aside. But that was worse. They demanded to be listened to, to have her full attention. Elaine didn't want to – _desperately_ didn't want to. If she did, she feared it would be like taking a dozen steps backwards and losing herself to the grief once more.

One evening, Elaine grew tired of wallowing in her own self-pity. The crew's quarters were deserted, the rest of them either out at dinner if they were off rotation, or at their stations if they were. It was a rare moment when Elaine found herself alone in this place. And for a moment she wandered if they had given her this time because her misery had driven them away. The silence was the worst. It made her thoughts that much louder. When she could take it no longer, she thought to go and find Tali, for any kind of distraction.

But as she opened the door to step outside, she found herself suddenly face to face with someone she had not expected. Obsidian eyes blinked at her, a forest green chest blocking her exit. Thane stared down at the Warden, hands behind his back and taking a stance so formal and non-threatening, one would never think him an assassin.

She was more than a little surprised to see him. After all, the pair of them had not spent much time together since they'd met; and considering that the last time they'd been in close proximity, Elaine had attacked him. "Oh, Thane, hello,"

"Hello again, Elaine." Thane was as cordial and well mannered as if nothing out of the ordinary had transpired between them a few days ago. "I am pleased to see that you look undoubtedly better than our last encounter."

"Thank you," tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, Elaine plucked up the courage to face her shame. "Thane? I would like to apologise… for if I hurt you, you know, during our last encounter. I was not of my right mind, I was frightened and desperate, and I should have had better control of myself–"

He held up a hand to halt her ramblings. "There is no need to explain yourself to me. I did not come to you now seeking an apology."

She cocked her head, curious yet wary for him to continue.

"I brought with me a prayer book," he said, and from his jacket, he produced a beautiful leather-bound tome, so small it fit snuggly in his palm. At first, Elaine thought it was plain black in colour, but on closer inspection she found that it was a deep purple. "When I lost Irikah, my soul lost its anchor to this world. My body entered a form of battle-sleep. I was without purpose. I wondered if you would appreciate the solace I should have had in those dark times."

"I don't know if there's much point, Thane," Elaine whispered. The very thought of prayer, of turning to the Maker when he had obviously abandoned her and all those she loved, made her sick. "The god I pray to is undoubtedly dead. The rest of my people who prayed to him are."

"I see…" Thane murmured slowly, thoughtfully. Clasping the book reverently in his hands, he caressed the pages between his scaly fingers. "The old ways of my people are dying. The younger generations do not think our gods can help us in such a vast, dangerous and unknown galaxy. But I and a few others still hold to them. There is wisdom in the ways of our ancestors."

Certain words he spoke rang true in Elaine's mind. And she wondered with curiosity what he could possibly offer her at this time. There was a time when Elaine had believed in the Maker, though with a passing interest like any other who had been born to it with no real reason to yearn for divine intervention. It had just been another part of ordinary life. And then her family had been taken from her, her entire world turned upset down, she'd become tainted and then the army at Ostagar had fallen. She'd felt as if she'd earned the Maker's scorn, and she repaid it back to him in kind. When her friend, Leliana, had spoken of how devout in her beliefs she was, and her vision she attributed to the Maker, Elaine had initially scoffed. But slowly, Leliana's unwavering faith, kindness, and the hope with which she looked upon all things, gave Elaine an inkling of her old belief. Then she'd seen the Urn of Sacred Ashes, had walked the path of the Gauntlet, and seen the ghosts she'd thought long gone. She'd returned from that mountain a changed woman. In every stride, every swing of her blade, every word she spoke to her troops that joined her cause, was the hidden belief that the Maker was with her, guiding her, granting her the strength to defeat this evil. And then she'd given her all, had died, wound up here, and discovered the Maker had truly abandoned her and her world. There was no more room in her heart anymore for faith.

Yet still, she stepped aside and allowed Thane entry into her abode. She sat on her bunk, and the Drell sat right beside her, hands clasped in his lap. Perhaps she thought it should be awkward between them. The man was practically a stranger to her and was beside her on her bed. Yet Thane's posture held no embarrassed stiffness, no closed off reluctance. He was as calm and poised as ever, tranquil even in his ever-so-slight smile. Elaine slowly found herself relaxing around him. Though she saw the point of his visit fruitless, perhaps it was her inborn love of all history that pushed her to speak.

"I… What gods do you pray to, Thane?" she asked quietly, and gazed down at the prayer book pressed between his palms. She had not noticed the leather cords binding the spine together, much like the old books in her home used to do. Each chord had a small string of silver wound around it, making it glitter in the soft light of the room.

Thane nodded in approval at her line of inquiry. "That depends upon the circumstance. To find a target I seek, I speak with Amonkira, Lord of hunters. When I act to defend another, Arashu. And when I have taken a life, I speak with Kalahira, Goddess of Oceans and the Afterlife."

"Forgive me, but those last two don't seem to have much in common."

"Consider. The ocean is full of life. Yet it is not life as you and I know it. To survive there, we must release our hold on land, accept a new way to live. So it is with the death. The soul must accept its departure from the body. If it can't, it will be lost."

What an odd yet seemingly flawless way to look at death. Elaine's mind was overtaken with visions of standing upon a rocky shore, a shore that looked strikingly like the Wounded Coast, not far from her childhood home. The ocean sprayed into her hair as it beat against the shore. Naked, bereft of all ties to her worldly life, she stepped into the surf. Though the ocean appeared dark, foreboding, and frightening, where she tread, it calmed. The water encircled her, clung to her, brought her down into its depths with an ease the belied the terrifying depictions of death she had always been told. Elaine was swept away by such a poetic way to consider death. Thane did not speak of promises of glittering cities ruled by a god, or endless peace and happiness in divinity. Instead, he appeared to merely describe the process of death. And it seemed a lot less frightening in his calm and gentle tone.

As if he had monitored her response, and awaited her last reservations to fall, Thane dipped his head. He opened the prayer book, and found a single silver page, the elegant green scrawl indecipherable to Elaine yet undeniable in its beauty. He rested the book open on his knees, and clasped his hands in front of him. Face turned down, he imbodied the very image of a man at prayer. Elaine did not join him, for she did not feel inclined to do so. Yet when his deep melancholic voice filled the room, she was spellbound to it.

"Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, we ask forgiveness. Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand. Kalahira, those once loved have departed from the shore to sail across your endless tides. We ask, Kalahira, that you take those we have loved into your embrace. Wash the sins from them and set them on the distant shore of the infinite spirit. Guide them, keep them, hold them to your side until we too can forgo our earthly ties, and sail with them across the sea."

Though she had foresworn prayers to gods mere minutes ago, Elaine found herself moved that he prayed for her and her family. It made her feel ashamed to think she would not do so. Yet there was something in his tone. He prayed for her situation, yes, that was obvious in his words. But beneath that, in his tone, the very heart of the emotion that spoke the words, he prayed for something that had happened to him. Did he pray for his lost wife? Elaine had to remind herself that Thane had lost all he deemed dear to him. He had known only one life, found love and family, and in one instant lost it all to the cruelness of reality. He'd been mourning for a long time, had lost his son, and only now just found him again, when he was so close to losing it all with what precious time he had.

Realising how similar they were, Elaine couldn't help but reach out and hold onto Thane's slim fingers in her own. Here he was, never faltering, never wavering, and only offered her the same solace. And something in his gaze as he turned to her gave her courage. After a time, she spoke to the Maker, to his prophet and bride Andraste, as she would've in a chantry, begging for the souls of her lost loved ones to be safe and well at the Maker's side. It devolved into an angry tirade. She cursed the Maker as to why he had let her world come to an end, why had he let all her sacrifices and hard work be for nothing. Then her anger had subsided to tears, and she'd spoken instead to her Mother and Father, her nephew, her brother, Alistair and all her friends, one by one. She begged their forgiveness, recounted them tales of her adventures she knew they would've wanted to be part of…

… and then she said goodbye. It was one of the hardest things she had ever had to do. They'd been dead centuries, but she grieved for them as if it had only just happened. Whispers of her final farewells to them echoed around the room as she let it trail into silence. Her final pledge to them being that maybe one day, she would hold a funeral pyre for all of them, as she should have done. One day she would find some kind of item to represent them all, and she'd burn them. It was the closest thing to cremating their bodies as she would get.

When words would pour forth from her no longer, she sat and attempted to regain her breath. Tears slid down her face, and she let them. Something inside of her felt freed. There was no reconciliation with the Maker, her faith was not fully restored. That might take time, if at all. But she felt better to know she'd done something to let her loved ones rest in peace. The urge to speak to them had been so great, she hadn't even realised she'd been choking on it until the constriction finally abated.

"Thank you, Thane." She smiled, and gave his hand one last squeeze before releasing it. Throughout her lengthy monologue he had stayed by her side, holding her hand, supporting her in a way he shouldn't have had to do. But she was absurdly grateful that he had. "For everything."

The smile he returned to her was more than a fleeting gesture. "It has been my privilege, Siha."

The Warden blinked, confused. "I-I'm sorry, I think the translator spell in my head stopped working. I didn't catch that last word?"

" _Siha_ …" he repeated barely above a whisper. His gaze turned introverted, thoughtful. "Forgive me, it was a slip of the tongue. I do not think there is a translation of it in your language."

"What does it mean?"

"A Siha is one of the warrior-angels to Arashu, goddess of motherhood and protection. Sihas are fierce in wrath, tenacious protectors. Isn't that what you are?"

She looked away, withdrawing as the emotions she'd unleashed in his presence left her raw and vulnerable. "I do not think I am worthy of such a title."

"As I once said to Shepard: _The measure of an individual can be difficult to discern by actions alone._ From what I've come to understand, your entire purpose is to defend the helpless from any threat they face. You were even willing to take your own life, all to protect the ones you've come to care for. If that is not a Siha, then I do not know what is."

Elaine sat, too shocked to do anything. She did not even respond when Thane slowly stood from her bunk and left the room. Perhaps he meant none of it and it was only to make her feel better about herself. Or perhaps there was some truth to it after all. In either case, a hint of pride at his words came back to her. An urge settled in her stomach, similar to when she had been a girl and her father would claim something about her capabilities, and she'd felt the unquenchable desire to meet his expectations, to make him proud. The entire encounter left her with much to think about over the next few days.

Though she was on 'sick-leave' during this time of recovery from her ordeal, Elaine often found herself begging others to let her do things. She didn't want to sit and dwell, she wanted to be doing something that would help to ease her mind. Though all she loved had been laid to rest, it was now time to mourn them. And Elaine didn't want to spend her time crying on her bed, she wanted to help her mind process and move on. She'd heard Joker say once to Mordin that the brain did its most useful thinking when it wasn't concentrating on it – hence why the best ideas come from dog walks or showers. Elaine had no idea if the two were really corelated, but something about the idea appealed.

Jacob let her help with the weapons in the armoury, she continued to train Grunt, Tali and Kasumi hung around her and constantly tried to cheer her up, even Jack tried to pitch in by pulling Elaine down to the cargo hold to work out with her. But at some point during each and every day, Elaine found herself gravitating towards the Battery. Garrus seemed to be expecting her every time and let her come in, sit on his bunk in the corner and just spend time with him. They talked, mostly about nothing in particular, sometimes about personal history: growing up, how being away from family affected them, Garrus even told her about the frustrating letters he was corresponding with his younger sister, Solana. Though he wouldn't say exactly why they were fighting, Elaine got the impression it was something personal to the entire family and it was not his right to tell that information carelessly. In a way, Garrus managed to keep her spirits up, by treating her just as she needed. Most days that entailed treating her as if nothing were amiss, that she was normal and not made of broken glass. And some days it involved letting her have her silence and just staying close by to assure her she was not alone. Sometimes she fell asleep on his bunk but would always awaken to find him still there.

It warmed her to think that at least one thing in her life remained intact, and not destroyed forever.

* * *

Samara had heard of Elaine's moping – from Joker, no doubt – and had offered Elaine a few hours of her time. Elaine had agreed rather enthusiastically. She and Samara had not interacted that much since the Warden had discovered the Justicar on Illium. They'd gotten on so well that Elaine found it rather disappointing that they'd not done anything with their initial friendship since. Maybe now was the time to change that. When she reached Samara's room, she opened the door and found the asari woman cross-legged on the floor, a ball of blue fire hovering in the air between her outstretched hands.

"Elaine, thank you for coming," Samara said serenely. She turned her head to acknowledge her, and Elaine was fascinated to see that her usual moon-like eyes were eclipsed with blue-glow of her magic. "Sit with me. It is not often I have comrades to chat with. And I believe meditation might best help you. I find it quite relaxing. And informing."

Whilst this might not have been her first choice, Elaine couldn't deny that she was slightly intrigued. Sitting beside Samara, she tried to make herself comfortable. Legs folded, hands resting on her knees, she closed her eyes and allowed all thought to slip away. The tingle of Samara's magic echoed across her akin and made the hair on her body stand on end. The floor was surprisingly warm, and the dim light of the room allowed a serenity much like sleep to overtake her mind. Thoughts drifted lazily in and out of her consciousness. She thought about everything that had happened to her, fleetingly remarking how it was almost a miracle that she was even alive to be in this position at all. Memories of Thane's time with her echoed around in her mind. His words, their meanings, what they meant to her, it all replayed over and over inside her mind.

"Something has resonated in you," came Samara's voice, gentle and with a hint of a smile even in her words.

Elaine shrugged, though she knew Samara couldn't see it. "Just thinking about something Thane said,"

"And you are undecided on what to think of it. Humans are so individualistic. I've often found that if there are three humans in a room, there will be six opinions."

"Apologies for being so divisive in that regard."

"I find it quite remarkable," said Samara. Elaine opened her eyes and found that the blue fire had died, and Samara was looking at her with a fond smile. "I find it also quite extraordinary when a human can stick to his or her own opinions without faltering. You remind me of one my daughters: Falere, my youngest. She was always compassionate towards others. Willing to see the good in them, to do anything for them even should it be at cost to herself."

"I'm honoured that that's what you see," and Elaine meant it. Samara turned to look out the large window into the great expanse of endless stars. Daring to know more about this strangely honourable yet matronly figure, she said: "I did not know you had children,"

"I spent my youth on the move, adventuring. I killed people, mated with them, or just danced the night away. I learned so much, experienced so much. Then, my matron days came. So I decided I would returned to my homeworld and try to start a family. I could finally sit back, bask, and enjoy my children…" Samara trailed off, her face becoming sombre, and she looked down at the ground. "But in one moment, it was all taken away."

Elaine said nothing. Her brows turned upward in concern, but she dared not move. Samara would not turn her gaze away from directly ahead of her. She spoke as if the words were being sadly recounted to herself, as if this was something strangely private.

"I sat in a Medlab while a near-sighted doctor droned at me. And I learned that nothing was as I thought it would be." Finally, the Justicar stood with fluent grace. She walked to the window, as if the next part of her story laid amongst the stars. Then, she turned to the Warden, her gaze a hardened mask of professionalism. "Do you remember when we met on Illium, I told you about a very dangerous person I was pursuing? She is an Ardat-Yakshi. It is a term from a dead Asari dialect, it means _'demon of the night-winds'_. But that is mythology. She is simply a very dangerous woman who kills without mercy. I learned on Illium that she is going by the name of Morinth."

Elaine stood also, though not nearly as gracefully as the asari. "What makes her so different?"

"Morinth suffers a rare genetic disorder. When she mates with you, there is no gentle melding of nervous systems. She overpowers yours, burns it out, haemorrhages your brain. You end up a mindless shell, and soon after you are dead. She confuses her victims, twists their feelings. They will do anything for her favour."

"That sounds more like… mental rape," Elaine whispered, utterly repulsed by the via idea. To think someone could invade her mind, bend it against her will, violate the very centre of her being and then crush her with it… It was an unimaginable horror that sent shivers down her spine. "How could someone be born this way?"

"The Condition is the root of the problem, but the responsibility for her actions lies only with Morinth and her own choices. It manifests with maturity. When one is diagnosed, she is offered to live in seclusion and comfort. If she refuses, it shows her addiction to the ecstasy she gets from killing her mates. There is no redemption for such a person. As far as I know, only three Ardat-Yakshi exist today. Two chose a life of seclusion. The third ran."

"Morinth."

"She ran and I am sworn to kill her."

Not speaking for a moment, Elaine dared to take a step closer, to offer Samara an apologetic look, before she spoke the revelation that had occurred to her in the Justicar's story. "Because she is your daughter…"

A shar intake of breath, and the asari's spine stiffened. For a half second, a pained look eclipsed her. "… Yes."

"How many children do you have?"

"Three. And three Ardat-Yakshi are in existence today. It is as it sounds. Morinth was always the wild one – she was happy and free. But selfish. My hopes, my dreams, were all bound up in my children. Still, my feelings have always come after my duty. The same is true of you." She gestured to Elaine, who begrudgingly had to accept the comparison. Like Samara, she had forgone many personal forms of happiness in the pursuit of her duty. So much so, that Elaine had to wonder who she was without it anymore. Samara turned away from her, staring back out into the abyss of space. "She was the strongest and smartest of my daughters. She would not accept the injustice thrust upon her. When she ran, I gave up all that I possessed. I own nothing, claim nothing. All my knowledge will die with me. Now my purpose is to destroy my own children."

Elaine couldn't let her think like that. She never lost a companion, not to an enemy and never to themselves. She stepped up beside Samara, offering her undying support in this quest in whatever way she could, even if Samara hadn't asked for help. "There's no cure? No way to help her?"

"We are an advanced species, but we don't have magic. When the trait manifests at maturity, it is too late for medication. It only occurs in purebloods like myself. Perhaps that is the root of the stigma regarding asari-exclusive pairings. I don't know."

"And you blame yourself for this?"

"I bore my daughters into this world. My choices caused their suffering. And I've hundreds of years left to live with that…" a lump choked the Justicar and she had to close her eyes to clear it away. "I say too much. Forgive me."

"Samara, I'm sorry you–"

"I do not want pity, Elaine, I do not accept it." said the asari warrior fiercely, stepping away from Elaine's offered hand. The sting of her actions was subdued, however, when she turned back and spoke softly once more. "My daughter's condition is my fault. And my redemption lies in killing her. I will fight and struggle all my life. That is my fate. When I die, it will not be in bed. I am at peace with that."

* * *

A few more days went by as the Normandy cruised through the stars towards its next destination. Shepard had set their course for a small uncharted world where miners were being held captive by Blue Suns mercenaries, a mission Zaeed had a personal investment in. It would take them two more days to reach it, and for the time being, the crew of the Normandy were content to make sure their ship was running as perfectly as can be. In that time, Elaine was finally given a clean bill of health from Dr Chakwas. Though she still seemed reserved to do so, the older woman could not deny that Elaine had healed quickly and well, and was deemed fit for duties once more. The Warden could not have been happier with the news. Attempting to reclaim some semblance of normal felt essential to picking up the pieces of her old life and forging a new one here.

To celebrate, Elaine found her way down to Engineering, and after checking in with Grunt for half an hour, she went to find Tali, bringing the Quarian a wrapped-up lunch, as she'd skipped the noon meal. She was prone to do that sometimes when she got too engrossed in something – Garrus was exactly the same. When Elaine had finally managed to pull the Quarian out of her work, the pair ate their small 'protein-bars' and began chatting and talking. Tali's easy-going nature and her want to laugh made it easy to forget one's problems with her.

But Elaine should have known better than to think the Quarian would ignore the Ogre in the room. "You doing alright, Elaine? I know you're all cleared now, but… you know, I know it can be… hard."

"It is," Elaine murmured, fiddling with the wrapper in her fingers with the sudden need to urge to be doing anything with her hands. "But I'm getting through it."

Tali nodded. "When my mother died, my father grew more distant than usual. I didn't have anyone… well, except Aunty Raan, that is. So, I know what it's like, being on your own."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that Tali, I truly am."

"Mother wouldn't want me to be sad for her all my life. So I just take the quiet moments sometimes, you know, to remember." Leaning a hip against her workstation, Tali crossed her arms and stared into the distance. "When we lived on the Homeworld, our forefathers used to make V.I imprints of deceased loved ones. It helped to keep them close, to believe their wisdom never left us. When the Geth rebelled, the ancestor-databanks were destroyed. Now, we instead like to have holo-images. My one of my mother's is still aboard the Flotilla. I hope I can get it back someday."

"You will."

Their talk was interrupted when they heard a commotion from the other side of the room. Ken and Gabby, talking amongst themselves, were powering down their consoles and making their way off for a break. Elaine and Tali watched them, fascinated at how the two stood so close together, leaned into each other when one of them talked. Ken suddenly stopped them, a somewhat serious expression on his face.

"Gabby, you'd say the Normandy is a she, and not a he, right?" he asked in his thick accent.

"Of course," Gabby shrugged and stroked a panel of the wall beside her lovingly. "The Normandy is the sweetest girl there is."

"And EDI's a she. Tali's _definitely_ a she."

"What are you getting at Kenneth?"

"I'm just saying I'm feeling a wee bit threatened here. A lot of female energy. And I'm just one man."

She snorted and punched his shoulder. "You're such a dick."

"See! Look where your mind went," he complained warily, as if Gabby were about to jump on him at any moment. "I've got to watch out for myself."

Gabby laughed and pushed him out towards the door.

Tali chuckled to herself as she watched them leave. "You know, I think those two would be really good together,"

"You think?" Elaine asked, brows raised.

"Yeah, if they ever stopped bickering long enough to work it out themselves."

"Speaking from experience, Tali?"

"No," she said quickly, and if Elaine could look through that pink helmet of hers, she was sure the Quarian was blushing. She looked down and fiddled with her fingers as she often did when nervous or flustered. "The most intimate Quarians can be is when we want to link our suit environments. Sure, we get sick at first, but then we adapt. It's our most important gesture of trust, of acceptance. I haven't trusted anyone enough for that though… except, well, no Quarians. You know what I mean."

"Must be quite the man to impress you so much, Tali,"

"The best man I've ever known…" she sighed almost dreamily. Elaine cocked a brow, and Tali realised what she'd said. "O-Of course, I don't know how that would work. I mean, I don't even know if he sees me that way. A-And, I could get sick! No, I should just–"

"Tali," Elaine reached out and grasped hold of the other woman's hands, effectively silencing her. "If this man is half as decent as you think he is, then he will see you, and appreciate you for the amazing woman you are. Just give it time. No one ever fell in love without being a little bit brave."

She let go, and Tali nodded, her glowing eyes beaming behind her mask. "Speaking of which…" came her voice slyly as a sudden and – dare Elaine think it – mischievous look appeared in those same eyes. "You ever gotten… what's the human word? _Cosy?_ Yes! Have you ever gotten _cosy_ with a man?"

"I wouldn't say so. The Blight offered me little time to distract myself with frivolous things like romance."

"But you're not in the Blight anymore. Come on, Elaine, I've seen you getting close to a certain someone."

Elaine leaned away from her surely-smirking friend, wondering if it were possible Kasumi or someone had done something to the real Tali that had boggled her brain. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

" _Keelah_ , both you _Bosh'tets_ are blind!" Tali hissed.

Catching the time on Tali's work-station, Elaine hopped off of the counter she'd been sat on. "I have to go, Tali. I promised Garrus we would start sparring again. Frankly, after so much rest, I feel like I need to release some tension."

For some reason, Tali started giggling like teenaged girl. "Just remember not to go for the waist this time,"

"What? Why?" Elaine asked, confounded at such an odd thing to say.

"Turians find things a little… _exciting_ , when you touch them in certain places."

"And the waist is one of them? How so?"

"When I watched _Fleet and Flotilla_ , they said Turians find waists kind-of attractive. The area isn't covered in plates, so it's more sensitive. Or so I'm told."

"Uh-huh."

"Oh! And don't touch beneath his fringe, unless you want to really get him worked up!"

"Yes, I'm sure this is _completely_ legitimate and not a pull on my leg, whatsoever." She muttered sarcastically.

Turning to stroll back out of the doors towards the elevator, Elaine was most surprised when she nearly ran into a collision with Dr Chakwas and Kelly Chambers who were just stepping out of the elevator. The three women barely managed to avoid knocking into each other.

"Miss Chambers, Dr Chakwas," Elaine nodded to each of them in greeting. When they didn't immediately step aside for her, she frowned. "What can I do you for?"

"We were hoping to speak to you, Elaine." Kelly said, her voice filled with pity. "It's about what happened."

"B-But you said I was recovered, Chakwas," Elaine snapped her gaze to the grey-haired woman, her eyes pleading that the pair of them not drag this out. Honestly, all she wanted was for people to not treat her like she was going to break. She wanted to be able to laugh again, talk again, without that cloud hanging over her. And Kelly and others trying to extract information out of her only threatened to send her backwards. "Anyway, I'm supposed to be sparring…"

"Elaine," Chakwas' voice was firm, as she blocked Elaine's attempt to bypass them. "It's one thing to be physically fit for duty. It's another thing to be mentally fit. I think all three of us need to sit down and talk about how you're doing. We need to help you move on."

They would not let her go until this was done. Resigning herself to her fate, Elaine sent a message to Garrus via her omni-tool that she wouldn't be able to make it (Tali had managed to teach her during her sick-leave how this magical messenger system worked). With a defeated sigh, she nodded, and the other two women led her back into the elevator and back to Deck 3. In the Medbay they all set up their seats and began to talk. Kelly led the session mostly, trying to coax Elaine into talking about what she'd gone through, how she felt about everything now, and what this was doing to her mind and emotions. Though it felt invasive and pointless at first, Elaine slowly began to concede that talking through everything aloud helped to find hidden truths of it all that her mind hadn't fully settled on herself. She spent over two hours in that chair, talking with Chakwas and Kelly. And while she'd thought they might've made progress, the three of them cam to an arrangement to keep this up as a weekly thing.

* * *

Meanwhile, on Deck 2, Mordin poured himself into his research. Mainly looking at the samples and data he'd gathered from Thedas. The endless research opportunities imbedded in this stuff had even his head spinning. There was more than enough here to keep him busy for the time being, and he might even throw himself into this work properly when Shepard's suicide mission was complete.

Yet, even as excited as he was by the chances for new knowledge he was presented with, Mordin was not ignorant of the goings-on in the ship. He'd heard of Elaine's break down, had heard of her recovery. It sent a little slice of guilt into his stomach. Though he and Elaine hadn't seen eye to eye, he knew he couldn't fault the young woman or wish any of this harm to befall her. Though she was uneducated and wilfully ignorant in his opinion, her heart was always in the right place.

Out of curiosity he compared the Thedas samples to the old data he still had on Elaine's blood. Some part of him kept coming back to his comparison. He felt sorry for Elaine, for the condition he knew was the probably the root of all her woes. A stray thought passed through his mind, which then seemed to catch, ignite, and a wild theory pressed him like a challenge. Immediately, he began to draw out various pieces of equipment and began to run a few basic tests and simulations.

No, Elaine and he didn't agree on a lot of things. But he was a doctor. He helped people. That was his purpose. Someone was sick, and he fixed it. It was his nature. He'd done it a thousand times before, and he would continue to do so again. There was no guarantee he would be successful, or if he ever did get results, that he would be able to produce them in any quick amount of time. But it was a project to do on the side, to see if maybe, someday, he might be able to form a cure for the taint…

* * *

 **Author's Note: Wow! This Story has already got nearly 200 reviews? Can I just say all you guys are bloody awesome! Thank you so much for all the support and love. I really appreciate every thing you guys do.**

 **On a side note, I want to declare that Thane's interaction with Elaine in this chapter is purely Platonic. There is nothing romantic involved. Though I personally love Thane, and his death in ME3 makes me cry nearly every single time, I never really bought into his romance. More than likely because he was talking about his DEAD-WIFE who he's still obviously in love with, right before Fem-Shep is given the opportunity to make a pass at him. Sorry, but I much prefer Thane as a mentor/friend/father figure. Just thought I'd make the clarification so that nobody gets their knickers in a twist.**

 **A little announcement: For the next two weeks or so, I'll be taking a short break from this story. Mostly to update (and hopefully FINISH) at least one of my other stories, work on my own original writing, and also visit my family back home. Don't worry, I will be back soon enough. Early April at the very latest. Until then, I hope you guys are doing great!**


	26. The Right Thing To Do

**Author's Note: I hope everyone had a good break! Don't know about you guys, but I am really excited to be getting back into this story ;)**

 **This chapter was mostly inspired by a little video essay on youtube by Breaking Banter called: "Wonder Woman: Earning Your Moment". It really helped to inform me a lot on Elaine's character and inspired me in how I wanted it and her to effect the story and world around her. You should go check it out, it's a great video. **

**Please don't forget to review!**

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By the time they reached the Ismar Frontier, Elaine was physically declared fit for combat. She begged Shepard to take her on his next mission, anything to get her off the Ship and out moving, some semblance of normalcy. Kelly and Chakwas wanted more time with her to work on her mental state, but all things considered, the Warden was making good progress, so they allowed her leave. As it happened, their next destination to fill out Zaeed's contract with Cerberus appeared to be a run of the mill kill-merc mission. An oil refinery was being held captive and enslaved by the Blue Suns, according to Zaeed, and their mission was to free them. No Thresher Maws, no Collectors, no Geth, nothing that would push a strain. So, Shepard had allowed it.

He took Jack along with him, Elaine and Zaeed. And as they disembarked from the shuttle, Elaine had her sword at the ready, exhilaration running through her veins at the thought of a quest to focus her attention on. The world they'd landed on was beautiful, a forest in high summer, with a gentle breeze teasing at her hair. Jack also seemed quite excited to get going, a gleam in her eye. Elaine hadn't worked much with Jack yet, and whilst the two of them had a sort-of-respect for one another, Elaine knew the woman had an appetite for violence and death that she'd never encountered in another before. Zaeed seemed also raring to go – but for a different reason. His body language was incredibly tensed, he looked ready to either bolt off or shout his mouth off. It made Elaine a little uneasy, and suspicious. Shepard was business as usual.

They tracked their way on foot through the forest to reach the outskirts of the refinery. They'd been meaning to use stealth, as the shuttle landing closer would've drawn attention, according to Zaeed and Shepard. However, they needn't have bothered. Several guards met them out on their patrol. They were easily dispatched. Elaine actually enjoyed fighting alongside Jack – the mage used her impressive skills to make their enemies easy and exposed, which allowed Elaine to come through and slice them open. Zaeed was a sniper, like Garrus, but he lacked the finesse of the turian. Garrus was an artist, but Zaeed did what was necessary and nothing more. He and Shepard picked off targets that hid themselves on stairwells or hard to reach places. But one Blue Suns thug unfortunately managed to let off a warning in his radio before any of the others could stop him. From that moment on, the Blue Suns soldiers were ordered to locate them and kill them. It was a husky, crude and rather unpleasant voice always dishing out the orders. For some reason, every time he spoke Zaeed became more boiled.

 _"_ _This is Commander Santiago. If any of you retreat while the intruders are still alive, I'll kill you myself. Now get the hell back out there!"_ they heard the voice through their messages Zaeed had spied into.

Zaeed slammed his fist onto the railing of a bridge they'd come to, a scowl twisting his scarred features. "Vido. Sounds like he hasn't changed."

"I get the feeling you have a past with this Vido." Said Shepard as he activated the controls to make the bridge assemble for them to cross.

"I knew he was a sadistic bastard back when we started the Blue Suns. The Suns only got meaner after he staged his little coup twenty years ago." Zaeed's mismatched eyes sent Shepard a cold look. "So yeah. We have a past."

Elaine was taken back a moment. Weren't the Blue Suns common enemies of Shepard's? Hadn't they been one of the foul groups that Garrus had tried to eradicate on Omega? How could Zaeed have started them? Her questions seemed to also be present in the Commander, who fully turned to face Zaeed, surprised. "Why didn't anyone tell me you founded the Blue Suns?"

"Because it's not common knowledge. Vido wiped me out of the records. He ran the books, I led the men. Worked real well for a while. Then Vido started hiring Batarians. Cheaper labour, he said. Goddamned terrorists, I said."

"Twenty years is a long time to hold a grudge, Zaeed." Elaine murmured gently. She thought for a moment what it would be like to have to hold onto her hate for Arl Howe for twenty years. She'd only had to wait a single year, and even that had eaten her alive, poisoned her core. She couldn't bare to think of living with that for two decades.

"A grudge?!" Zaeed burst and turned on her. The Warden was a little taken aback at his venom, especially when he started to advance on her. "Vido turned my men against me. He paid six of them to restrain me while he put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger! For twenty years, I've seen that bastard every time I closed my eyes. Every time I sighted down on a target. Every time I heard a gunshot. Don't you dare call that a goddamn 'grudge', _Princess_."

His growling voice was a hiss in her face, and whilst Elaine felt pity for his story, she was not going to back away from him. The man had always taken a dislike to her, though she didn't know why. The longer he leant into her personal space, the more she wanted to hit him out of it.

Jack's low whistle inadvertently called them both off. "You survived a gunshot to the head? Damn…"

Slowly, Zaeed pulled away from Elaine, closing himself off, trying to push down the fury she'd witnessed in him. "Yeah. And you survived torture in a mini-concentration camp. And Shepard survived a ship getting disintegrated. A stubborn enough person can survive just about anything. Rage is a hell of an anaesthetic."

Both sides of the bridge finally clicked into place and the squad was allowed to move on. Elaine kept her eye on Zaeed, not at all liking where that anger had manifested from or the implications of where it would lead. Zaeed was a man about to break if his thirst for blood wasn't sated. And as the group climbed up the next hill, Elaine wondered what could be done to make him see sense. As they rounded the corner, they came to a large gatehouse, the refinery lying just beyond. Smoke poured from chimney stacks, and the distant hum of machinery that the Warden was getting accustomed to could be heard.

As they stepped into the gatehouse, the group was immediately met with a force of a dozen soldiers stood on a balcony above them, guns at the ready. Shepard and the others froze. In the centre of the Blue Suns soldiers, a man stepped forward. His skin was dark, his black hair peppered with silver. Cruel lines marked a face almost as old as Zaeed's, and a smug smirk came with the horrid gravelly voice from the radio. "Zaeed Massani. You finally tracked me down."

"Vido." Zaeed growled out, and reached for his gun at his back.

"Don't be stupid, Zaeed. I have a whole company of bloodthirsty bastards behind me, ready to kill or be killed on my command." Spat Vido, and then he snorted. "Actually, take your shot. Give my men a reason to put you down like the mad dog you are. Again."

Elaine, Shepard and Jack looked at each other, trying to silently communicate how to get out of this situation. But suddenly, the choice was ripped away from them. Gunfire erupted as Zaeed shot at Vido whilst running to the side of the gatehouse and hiding behind a wall of pipes. Shepard seemed to take the hint and pushed his female companions down behind cover. However, Elaine noted that Zaeed's shots had gone wide, hitting the wall behind Vido without actually killing him or any of his men.

"What was that?" Vido laughed, equally baffled. "Gone near-sighted, old friend?"

Zaeed just glared. "Burn, you son of a bitch."

Another round of shots, and suddenly the wall behind Vido and his men exploded as the gas they released was ignited. Vido was thrown against the railing, flames engulphed him and his men for half a second before it died. Several had been thrown off the balcony, metal and brick were thrown everywhere. When the smoke cleared, Vido was struggling to stand, blood and soot splattering one side of his face.

Though limping away, Vido still had the balls to roar down at them. "You just signed your death warrant Massani!"

What were left of Vido's men quickly came forward to shoot down at the intruder, and Shepard and Elaine had to duck their heads back down to avoid being hit. Across the way, Zaeed smashed the butt of his rifle against the valves on the pipes. Gas began to leak. Elaine didn't know the significance of this action, but Shepard didn't seem pleased at all: "What the hell are you doing?"

Another strike, and then a spark caught the gas. A chain of explosions went all along the pipework through the gatehouse. The walls rumbled and violently shook. Fire burst out from the seams of every crack and crevice. Those remaining on the balcony were caught in a firestorm as part of the wall completely buckled and crumbled away. In the distance, Elaine heard alarms and more distant blasts. With the Blue Suns now dead, Zaeed strutted back towards Shepard. "Opening the gate."

Elaine and the others hopped to their feet, the Warden particularly incensed for she could already hear distant cries. The fire must've already spread into the refinery itself! She turned her icy glare on Zaeed. "And you'd endanger lives just for that? There must've been a better way."

"Like what?" he snapped. "Wandering out in the jungle for hours, looking for another way in? You wanna waste time out here, go ahead."

"You brought us here to free these people," growled out Shepard. "Why the hell would you blow up the refinery?"

"I came here to _kill_ Vido Santiago." Zaeed corrected, lips pulled back in a snarl. "You want my help on your mission, you better make damn sure that bastard dies today!"

Shepard leaned back into a hip, arms crossed and face suddenly unreadable. "That's how you wanna play this?"

"Let these people burn!" the scarred veteran snarled. "Vido dies, whatever the cost!"

Elaine was horrified by the man's resolve, and was expecting Shepard to take the other man down a notch. But was shocked when the commander did no such thing. Shepard was silent a moment, eyes narrowed, and his voice was again indecipherable. "You really want him dead? Fine. He dies."

Shepard and Zaeed led the way through the hole in the wall and out into the refinery. Elaine and Jack followed, the Warden beginning to feel the cold squeeze of dread upon her stomach. Perhaps Shepard would deal with Zaeed closer to the time? He couldn't really be going along with this to Zaeed's huge extremes, could he? Her attention was divided when she saw movement above them. On a metal walkway between two chimney stacks, a worker came running out of the refinery. Smoke poured out of the doorway he just exited from. Upon seeing the people down below, he stopped and waved his arms frantically to get their attention.

"Help! We're trapped!" he shrieked down at them. "We can't get to the gas valves to shut them off! The whole place is gonna blow!"

"No time," Zaeed muttered to Shepard. "Vido's probably half way to the shuttle docks by now."

Shepard gave him a look. "Vido's wounded. How fast could he be?"

"Vido's smart. We stop to help these people, and Vido uses this time to get away. And if he gets away, I'm blaming you."

Elaine looked upon the older man in disgust. "You're willing to watch these people _die_?"

"Damn right I am." He growled at her, his mismatched eyes turning to look her straight in the eye.

"You're sick!" she hissed and recoiled from him, hands clenched into fists. "We're here to free these people. We're going in. Right Shepard?"

She turned to the Commander, expecting him to finally back her up. But he was silent. The man stood, unmoving for several seconds. Elaine's heart began to race, and the dread she'd felt intensified. And then, Shepard strolled right past her towards the door. He wouldn't even look at her as mumbled: "Let's get moving, Zaeed."

The veteran smirked with no mirth. "Glad you see it my way."

"What?!" Elaine gaped at them. She refused to move, and when it became clear that she wasn't following, Shepard and the others turned to face her. Gesturing towards the man behind her, she begged with her eyes for Shepard to see reason. "No, we have to help these people."

"Elaine, we have to go–"

"We cannot leave without helping them – these people are _dying_." She strolled towards the Commander, her fingers gripping into his suit collar, pleading with him. "Shepard, they can't get out, they will _burn."_

"I understand that," he murmured tonelessly, and still he wouldn't look at her fully, "but this mission is about getting Zaeed on board. We have to make that a priority."

She recoiled from so fast it was as if she had been burned. "How can you say that? What is the matter with you!"

"Don't you get it, Elaine?" he snapped, finally looking her in the eye. There she saw a fierce determination to cover a morbid emotion that threatened to swallow him. He threw it all into anger, into frustration, directed on her. "This is a little refinery out in the middle of nowhere. No body cares about it – that's why the Blue Suns took it in the first place! There's… what, a couple hundred people?"

"Yes, with families – children!"

"Yeah, and our mission is more important than them!"

Zaeed paced back and forth with impatience, and even attempted to pull the commander's shoulder back towards the doors. "Shepard, come on! Vido's getting away while you piss about!"

But Shepard shook him off and stepped towards the Warden. "Elaine, you were the one that told me I needed everyone dedicated to this mission to make it a success. To do that, we have to kill Vido for Zaeed."

"But _this_ mission was to free these people–"

"It doesn't matter!" he shook her shoulders, as if to rattle some sense into her. She shoved him away, her righteous anger at the situation boiling just beneath the surface to match his own. Shepard glared at her, his voice turning colder the more she resisted him. "The mission parameters changed. We save more people later when we beat the Collectors, than the few we can save now. That's the ruthless calculus of war. I am the Commander and you will fall in line to obey my orders!"

She shook her head. Surely he couldn't mean this?! Was he seriously going to step aside and _listen_ to people screaming whilst they burned to death? Elaine couldn't do it. The moral compass inside her heart refused to allow it. Everyone had told her that Shepard had had to make some seriously difficult decisions in his long career as a soldier. Some of those decisions had been alluded to being as abhorrent as this. But she hadn't really believed it, hadn't let it sink in. For surely no hero could ever be so heartless as to watch people die needlessly for some petty reward? She thought about these people dying with no hope of escape, and she thought of what it would feel like to be the loved ones of these workers who received the message that their son, daughter, husband, wife or whatever, was never coming home again… no! she refused to allow it! Couldn't Shepard see that this was something they could do – something she could do?

"So, what?" she pressed. "Do we do nothing?!"

"We have to." Shepard said. "We can't save everyone. This is not what we're going to do."

Shepard turned away from her, to walk back into the refinery to go after Vido. He expected her to follow. But her feet would not move. She turned and looked back up at the worker, of the tears streaking his soot-stained face. An iron-clad resolve came over her heart as she glared at Shepard's retreating back. "No. But it's what _I'm_ going to do."

"What the…?" she heard him say. But it was too late. The warden had already jumped over the railing and landed on the walkway below. "Elaine!" she heard Shepard shout after her.

She ignored him. Her heart was set. This was the right thing to do, this was something she could do. Ever since she'd arrived in this futuristic-world, everyone had told her she couldn't do anything. She couldn't charge off to help, she couldn't do this or that, it wasn't allowed, it wasn't possible. In her world, she'd been sure of who she was, where she fit, the path to take had always been clear. In this place, the path had been obscured and blurred before her. But now it was clear once again. The hero had never died within her, and she wouldn't be anything less any longer. Shepard was not a coward, he was a man trapped by his own need to remove the sting of his actions. He always calculated every decision, she realised. He weighed it up like a math problem: what was the greatest number of people he could save with little cost, what was the best tactical decision in the long run, what could bring the best outcome at the end and not just the moment right now? He detached himself from these smaller decisions so as not to feel the weight of them. And for that, she didn't blame him or think lesser of him. She just refused to do the same.

Determination in every stride, Elaine ran through the doors into the refinery. Arms and legs pumping, she burst through into the red haze and smoke. She saw people trapped behind a wall of glass. Smoke filled the room and they were coughing and spluttering. Hair streaming behind her, the light shining in from the outside at her back, griffon shield emblazoned on her arm, she was like a warrior-angel to them.

The workers shouted out to her directions. Elaine jumped and dodged around the flames that burst forth from the pipes all around her. The heat was almost unbearable, and already she could feel sweat on her brow and down the back of her neck. The fatigue didn't plague her though, even as she sprinted from level to level, up and down stairwells, hitting at the consoles to put on the emergency fire-systems. The runes in her armour made her swift and didn't allow the weariness to affect her. One by one, the systems were turned on, and soon she could hear the gas being switched off and then the cool droplets of rain hit her face from the ceiling.

Finally, Elaine came to the final door, with the workers trapped behind it. She gestured for them to get back, before she raised her boot and slammed it into the metal door. It jarred her leg, the reverberation felt all the way up to her hip. But she gritted her teeth, ignored the pain, and struck it again. This time, it finally gave way, just enough. Bracing her shield against it, Elaine summoned every ounce of her strength to force the door open the rest of the way. Fingers on the other side helped to pull it open all the way, and then the workers were sweeping out. They flocked around her, their words and hands pouring all around her with endless whispers of gratitude. "Oh, god! Thank you! Thank you so much…"

She rounded up all the workers, making sure they all were accounted for. They had to get out to safety, to somewhere safe to find their families, and there were still Blue Suns lurking about the place. Elaine shepherded them all onwards, leading the way. Turning to the man closest to her, she asked: "Where are the shuttle docks?"

He eagerly pointed to a door down one end of a long hall. "Through those doors."

Elaine nodded and jogged ahead of the workers, so as to be front and centre should anything happen. And wouldn't you know it, it did. As the group of them came running through the huge hall encased in pipework and tanks filled with chemicals, they were greeted by a force at the other end. A handful of Blue Suns soldiers were trying to escape the burning refinery. When they noticed the escaping workers, they all turned, guns pointed and shouted at them. The workers all dove for cover behind her, but Elaine let out a burst of speed. Dropping to slid on her knees beneath the first gunshot, her sword nearly sliced one of the soldiers in half before she spun, impaled the second, jumped over his corpse and beheaded the third. Upon seeing such quick carnage without a hitch in her breath, the rest of the Blue Suns got out of her way in a hurry. Signalling to the workers, she pushed them all ahead, ran to the front and threw open the doors.

They all came onto a large flat strip, just as Shepard, Zaeed and Jack burst out from another set of doors. Right in front of them, a huge flying-machine, much like Donovan Hock's one, took off from the air. A pipe that had previously been attached to the back out of it, was pulled off with the sudden departure, spraying foul smelling liquid onto the platform. There were no soldiers on the docks. As the flyer took off, the voice of Vido (presumably from inside the machine) came to them over the radio.

 _"_ _Not this time, Zaeed, you son of a bitch!"_ they heard him sneer. _"See ya in another twenty years."_

Even as the thing took off, Zaeed ran after it until there was no more dock for him to use. He held up his gun, and shot bullet after bullet. They pinged harmlessly off of the armoured machine or missed entirely. Zaeed roared in rage as he watched his prey disappear over the horizon. Still, he kept shooting until his gun clicked and no more bullets came out. He slammed his palm against the side of it, and a heatsink popped out onto the floor. Hurriedly, he put in another one, but by that time, the flyer was no longer visible.

Behind Elaine, the workers quickly saw that one of the shuttles had been left behind. They all murmured to her their thanks and ran towards it. Elaine guided them towards it. Watching out for them carefully, and nodding modestly when they all said some words of gratitude on passing her.

Upon hearing the noise, Zaeed suddenly turned on Elaine, gun up and pointed at her. "You!" Elaine froze, not expecting this. The man's eyes were crazed, his voice no better than a snarling wolf's as he stalked towards her. "You just cost me twenty years of my life!"

Before Elaine could speak, a voice cried out: "Don't!"

And suddenly bodies had surround Elaine's form. Men and women appeared on all sides around her. One worker, the last to get on the prepped shuttle, had seen the exchange, and without thinking had dashed forward to save his angel. Then the others had noticed and followed after him. And then they were all at her side, trembling and terrified of the furious man pointing a gun in their direction, but they refused to move. Elaine was rendered speechless by their action. Why would they put themselves in danger like this?

"Get out of the way, you shits!" Zaeed shouted, but none of them moved.

She knew her crewmate was one move away from shooting them all, and so pushed herself to the front of the crowd, trying to get his attention. "Zaeed–!"

Her cry had barely left her mouth before the man got a shot off. Elaine's wards protected her a moment until she could get her shield up. Behind her, the Workers dove to the floor to avoid the gunfire, Elaine stood in front of them to absorb most of the fodder. The projectiles pinged off the metal, and she charged at him. Her leg struck upwards and knocked his gun aside. He tried to strike at her again, to punch her back so that he could aim for her again. But Elaine pushed and punched at him, always keeping herself in close. Instinct drove her into a sense of self-preservation –

Suddenly, the ground between the pair erupted in a shockwave. It threw them in opposite directions, and they both fell hard to the floor. Elaine felt her body quiver from the electrical magic, making it feel like she'd received a hundred electric-shocks at once. Groaning, she and Zaeed rolled back up to see what had hit them.

Jack's fists glowed bright blue, and Shepard stood beside her, an unimpressed scowl on his face. "Thanks, Jack…"

He marched forward as Elaine and Zaeed got to their feet. First, he went to the older man, and offered a hand. Zaeed took it to steady himself. And suddenly, Shepard threw his fist into the man's jaw. Zaeed staggered with a cry, but Shepard glowered down at him. "No one turns on my squad."

" _Argh_! Son of a bitch…" Zaeed cursed, nursing his chin. "What the hell you playin' at–?"

"Joker." Shepard said with a finger held to his ear. "Test out Garrus' new toy and blow that ship the moment it gets out of orbit."

 _"_ _Aye-aye, Commander."_

"Happy now?" he muttered at Zaeed. "Vido's dead in the next two minutes. In that time, you need to convince me to not leave you to rot."

"What the fuck're you–"

"I was gonna go along with this, Zaeed. But you turn on your own team the moment things don't go your way. How am I supposed to trust you?"

Zaeed met Shepard's scowl. "I'll do what I was goddamn paid to do, Shepard. Just don't expect any more than that."

"You seem to think you can do whatever you like to suit your own ends. That's not the way this works."

"I've survived this long watching my own back. No time to worry about anyone else."

"You're part of a team now, Zaeed. There's no way you're gonna survive this unless you start acting like it."

The older man looked down, thoughtful a moment. And then he nodded to his Commander. "You… you have a point."

Shepard nodded and turned his back dismissively on Zaeed. Elaine had barely gotten to her knees. Then she felt hands around her, as the workers all pitched in to help her to her feet. She thanked them all and urged them to leave on the shuttle right aware. As if with reluctance, they all left her one by one. And then they all piled into the shuttle. As it lifted into the air and clunkily flew away into the horizon, Elaine became aware of Shepard stood right behind her. She turned to watch him closely, her gaze unwavering.

"And you…" he said. "You disobeyed my direct orders."

"To save the people of this refinery." She retorted.

The commander's eyes glanced briefly from her to the distant shuttle filled with people. "You did the right thing." He nodded, but when his gaze found her again, his eyes were cold. "But I can't have you doing that again."

"You will not stop me from doing what is right. And I will not apologise for what I did. It had to be done."

Shepard shook his head, mouth pressed into a hard line. "You know what? Chakwas was right. You're not ready for this. You think you can run off to save everyone you can, all because you've got this guilt-complex because you didn't save your–"

"Don't you dare!" Elaine hissed, violence threatening in her tone just beneath the surface. "Don't you _dare_ try to turn this into some form of grief-stricken coping mechanism!"

"It doesn't matter what your reasons were, Elaine. It doesn't matter that what you did was the right or wrong thing. You undermined my authority. You broke my trust." He looked upon her, disappointment in his eyes. "You're as much of a loose cannon as Zaeed. You'll break away from orders the first chance you get to do what you please. I can't trust that. And until you earn that trust back, you're temporarily suspended from all ground-team missions."

And with that, he turned and walked away. Elaine watched him go, sure that she'd misheard. But he didn't turn back around, and the words echoing in her head refused to abate. Slowly, the implication became clear, and Elaine felt utter fury come over her.

* * *

"How could he!" she raged and threw her first in a wide arc. "Punish me like a child!"

Her fist slammed into Garrus' waiting palm, the force of the swing meeting the sudden resistance making both their arms vibrate. Before he could twist or pull her in to his advantage, Elaine grabbed hold of his arm with her other hand and jumped, driving her knee into his solar-plexus. He grunted and stumbled back from her, slightly winded. Elaine relished the dull ache the pain left in her leg. Her regular sparing with Garrus had helped to blow off some steam immensely. And after she and the others had returned from the refinery, she desperately needed an outlet for her anger. When she tried to follow up with another kick, Garrus seemed to recover himself and charged her, ramming his body into her. Elaine tried to counterbalance herself in time, but nearly tripped on her own feet. Garrus' avian eyes never missed anything. Dipping low, he hooked one hand behind her knee and pulled it up and out from under her. Elaine fell to the floor in a heap.

"Watch your footwork." He said and held out a hand to help her up. Immediately resuming the start position, the pair of them threw themselves back into the fight. Garrus spoke even as he swiped at Elaine's shoulders, trying to catch her out. "Sounds rough. But I can kind of understand–"

Elaine's outrage made her throw a sudden left-hook. "Understand?!"

"Hey-hey! I'm only… what's the human saying? Devil's advocate! I'm just saying, from the Commander's point of view, you went off the rails."

"To save lives! To do what we should all be doing."

Garrus and Elaine threw themselves at each other in the exact same moment. Garrus' arm came over in a wide arc, which the Warden ducked beneath. She tried to land a punch in his waistline, but he caught her wrist before she could. To try and catch him off guard, she pushed her shoulder into his chest, but his legs locked. Garrus tried to shove her back, hand grasping onto her shoulder, but Elaine too locked her legs. A tense moment of strength vs strength ensues, as the pair remained locked, stares fixed on the other, faces only inches apart.

"And I think what you did was… admirable." Garrus said through gritted teeth as he kept up the pressure. "What you did was right, but Shepard needs people he can trust."

"And am I not trustworthy?" Elaine demanded. "I have done nothing but try to help him!"

Suddenly, she dropped to the floor, causing Garrus to stumble forward when his strength met no resistance. Elaine swung her feet up to kick him in the small of the back, hoping to topple him. It didn't, and only resulted in him stumbling a little. Scrambling to pounce on the opening, Elaine hurried up and rushed him. Garrus recovered enough to swing around and meet her. With a burst of power, Elaine drove punch after punch, left-right-left, repeat. He blocked most of them, but her ferocity forced him to retreat.

"And if this is how he thinks to repay me by treating me this way that selfish, egotistical, ass–"

Garrus blocked the next punch and swept it aside. At the same moment, his other hand shot out and the flat of his palm smacked against her collarbone. Elaine yelled, her breastbone vibrating from the impact. His leg stuck out and tripped her up as she went back. Her spine hit the mats and the air burst from her lungs. She lay there a moment, dazed. When she finally blinked open her eyes with a groan, Garrus was stood over her and shrugged.

"I told you to watch your footwork."

She might've laughed, but too many thoughts swam about her head. Wincing, she propped herself up until she could at least sit. "Garrus…" her voice came out quieter than she'd meant. The turian squatted down beside her, his gaze suddenly sincere when he met her uncertain eyes. "I couldn't leave those people to die. It's not in my blood."

"I know," he told her with a nod. "But Shepard didn't say you were off the team permanently. Just for now. Give him time to cool down. Earn his trust back. Show him you're there for him and the mission. Take it slow."

"Didn't you once tell me Shepard respects someone of action?"

"This is different." He helped her up again, though when she was stood, his long fingers didn't release hers. "Trust me, Elaine, you'll be back soon enough. You just gotta give it time."

Staring into his eyes, Elaine felt a small rush flood her chest. In the moment he asked her to trust him, she did so without even needing to think about it. But could she really just swallow this treatment from Shepard? Garrus trusted his commander, followed him for a reason. Elaine had to have faith that she'd rediscover her trust in Shepard when he also found it again in her. With a sigh, she nodded. "Alright… Alright, I'll try."

"Warden?"

The sudden voice in the cargo-hold made the turian and human startle for a second. The spun, ripping their hands away from each other – having not even noticed that they were still holding hands before the interruption. The silhouette of Grunt stalked in from the elevator, and the Krogan's bright blue eyes shifted from Elaine to Garrus, narrowing with suspicion. Elaine had no idea why, but felt an ever-so-slight blush tinge her cheeks.

Garrus cleared his throat, the sound seemingly extra loud in the heavy silence that had come over them. Snatching up his bag filled with stuff to take straight to the shower-rooms, he nudged Elaine with his elbow as he passed her. "Another time, tough girl. And work on that footwork – I can't stand a woman who can't dance."

Elaine chuckled, and shot back at him as he walked away: "Just watch, turian. I'll be all over you soon enough."

"Ha! I can't wait to see that!"

Grunt watched silently as Garrus strolled past him and stepped into the elevator. The Krogan's eyes came back to Elaine, head cocked to the side inquisitively. "He offered a mating request yet?"

"What?" Elaine squawked in alarm when she suddenly realised what it was Grunt had just said.

"Couldn't have then," he shook his head with a mutter to himself. "You'd know if he'd done it right."

Deciding to completely ignore that strange hitch in the conversation, Elaine said: "What can I do for you, Grunt?"

"You remember I told you once I didn't feel anything when I saw imprints from the tank?" he asked. He'd mentioned it to her once or twice during their Berserker training, and it had fascinated Elaine to hear the strange way Grunt had learned about his people. "I used to see suffering, the dead, and I thought: 'weak'. My guts were grown from thousands more worthy. The dead were weak. If they were strong, I wouldn't be needed."

She blinked, a little disturbed. "That is a rather… heartless way to look at the wars of your people, Grunt."

"The fact that I didn't care… it bothered me. And I didn't know why." Grunt paced in front of her, his expression troubled. "I'm built for strength but didn't earn it. I just am. Those dead were strong enough to try, even if they lost."

"And you found a reason to care, I take it?"

"I was just thinking. The picture. I'm finally starting to get it." He hurried back in front of her, an excitement to tell her something whilst it remained fresh, before it could fade away. "There's a tank imprint – the battle of Canrum. A dead turian. Stripped. You don't see them out of their armour much. A krogan boot on his head. A claw hammer. It's under the brow plate, pulling it back, right? Eyes have gone black, and you see tension in the muscle. You can feel it ready to snap. I get it!"

He spoke as if she should know what that meant, but the Warden could only frown. "I do not know of this battle of Canrum…"

"Death of Shiagur, female warlord. Turians killed her, so they were hunted down and made examples. Even if they won the war. It was the last push before the Rebellions ended."

"Maybe I had to be there, but I don't understand the joke."

"There's no joke – it's just great!" Grunt grinned. "It's a turian and he's being torn apart for what they did. I felt nothing before, but now I get it – it was a good fight. The enemy was destroyed to punish them all and send a message. I get it. I hate turians!" he spread his arms wide as if this were a great epiphany. When all he received was silence, he deflated a little and shrugged. "I thought you'd be glad…"

Elaine blinked several times as she tried to process the leap in logic. "Errr… Really? You thought I'd be happy to find out you hate a whole race of people?" before he could speak, she held up a hand. "Don't get me wrong, Grunt, I know the turians did awful things to your people. But do you really hate them all? What about Garrus?"

"I don't hate Garrus. I hate the turians. Garrus is just one turian and he's your clan. No point in ripping his face off unless he turns on me." Though she was sure the last sentence was meant to be muttered to himself, she still heard it and it still made her eyes widen with shock. "It's hate, but it's mine. Okeer was blind, and he tried to make me the same. But I'm starting to feel what they did, to see why I should care."

Scratching her head, the Warden tried to think of the right response. Grunt had so little life experience that was his own, perhaps it was a good thing that even with his second-hand knowledge he was forming his own opinions and not simply following those given to him. But if those opinions happened to be toxic ones? What was the correct thing to do? To admonish Grunt for hating an entire race people, and thereby punish him for making his own decisions? Or should she leave him with this prejudice which could only fuel the fire of racial tension more in the future?

In the end, she decided that she wasn't going to find an answer today. Especially in the current mood she was in. The spinning thoughts only served to give her a headache. With a sigh, she dropped it, and pointed her thumb over her shoulder towards the gym-equipment. "You want to punch some stuff with me?"

Grunt's eyes lit up with excitement. "Yeah!"


	27. The Divide

Elaine dropped to the ground and rolled to avoid the strike. A foot stomped where her body had been, barely missing her shoulder by an inch. She kicked out the ankles from under him and the body hit the ground in a heap. He tried to catch himself on his wrists and reach for her at the same time, but the woman wriggled out from his grasp. Sliding across the mat, she tried to knee him in the stomach, whilst her arm swept aside and tried to pin his long arms. Pushing his leg underneath her, he strained and then threw across him and let her roll a few feet away.

Garrus huffed a laugh as he got to his feet, and Elaine couldn't help but grin at him as she straightened. Despite the fact that she was a little out of breath (they'd been sparring for a good forty minutes), Elaine sank into a hip whilst still bouncing on the balls of her feet. She beckoned him closer with a twirl of her fingers. His mandibles spread in a smirk, he sprinted for her. The Warden ran for him and at the last moment leapt up. She hooked her foot onto his chest and used it like a springboard to launch him backwards whilst she flipped backwards to her feet.

The turian slammed onto his back, winded a moment. Elaine had the opportunity to pin him, but she didn't take it. They were having fun and she didn't want it to end. Besides, what else was she going to do? Sit in her room? Now banned from the ground team, she had nothing else to occupy her time. Garrus propped himself on his elbows and smiled up at her. "Are you so demanding with all your men? Or is it just me?"

Before the Blight she would've blushed profusely, now she only laughed. "Someone has to show you how a lady likes it, Garrus."

"Flat on my back?"

"At my mercy."

His grin grew wider. "Oh really?"

Launching his feet upwards, he flipped back onto his feet. Elaine was amazed. He'd seen her do the same trick once and had been so impressed he'd demanded she'd show him how to do it. She hadn't thought he'd perfected it already! Before she could react, he was on her. Long arms sweeping around her, he crushed her against his chest. Elaine's eyes bulged as her ribs were constricted. One arm was free of him, and she used it to strike at his collarbone, in his carapace, anywhere she could reach. When she hit a nerve point, the turian's grip loosened and Elaine was able to find her own footing once again.

But he wasn't about to let her go. Pushing on her shoulder, he stuck out his knee and dipped her over it like a dancer. Perhaps he expected her to flail and leave herself open to a final attack. Instead, she grappled for purchase and quite by chance, one of her arms curled around his neck. Her fingers gripped onto surprisingly soft flesh just beneath his fringe.

Garrus froze. His eyes went wide, and his throat bobbed. Elaine looked up at him, perplexed for a moment. He didn't even seem to notice for a second when she righted herself. Every muscle was rigid, as if he'd locked himself so as to be unable to move or do anything. He only loosened when she let go of his fringe. "Garrus? You okay?"

"Err, um," he cleared his throat loudly. "Y-Yeah, sure. I'm great. Just… um… ticklish?"

Elaine cocked a brow. The transparency of that reply was so blatant she was surprised he didn't fade out of existence. At the back of her mind, she remembered Tali's words from two weeks ago. Had she actually been telling the truth? It seemed so bizarre that Elaine still half doubted it.

She decided to let it go, and settled back into a stance. "You need an invitation, Vakarian? Or would you rather stand around and look pretty?"

When given the option to joke off an awkward situation, Garrus took it without hesitation. He instantly relaxed and fanned himself. "It takes a lot of work to look this good, Elaine. One of us has to give this ship some style."

At ease once more, Elaine threw herself back into the fight. She and Garrus traded strikes, crisscrossing their hands with impressive increasing speed, to see who would slip up first. A bubbling excitement filled up the Warden to make her grin grow wider, watching her mind switch off and her body take over. In a flash, she swept her leg up into a round-house kick. It hit into Garrus' ear and he stumbled backwards, shaking his head as if his ears were ringing. Elaine eagerly followed him, grabbing hold of his carapace and trying to through him to the ground. He caught himself on his hands and knees, and Elaine dove to try and wrench an arm behind his back.

But the Turian saw her coming and swivelled onto one knee and drove his fist into her stomach. Elaine felt her toes leave the ground for half a second, the wind bursting out from her lips and her body folded around his fist. Using the moment of her incapacitation, Garrus snatched up hold of both her slim wrists in one of his large hands and hoisted her up and into the air. Her body was stretched out, feet dangling nearly a foot off the floor. Shoulder-joints protesting and the skin on her wrists burning from the stretch, Elaine hissed. She'd always known Garrus was taller than her, but she never appreciated it until now.

Determined to fight back until the bitter end, Elaine swung her body – despite the pain it caused. Her foot kicked out at Garrus' shin, unbalancing him a moment as he tried to retract the limb from her reach. With him leaning forward, Elaine pushed her lower body out and wrapped her legs around his waist. Pulling on her arms she disrupted his balance further and sent them both tumbling towards the mats.

This turned out to be a bad idea for her, seeing as her back slammed onto the floor first, with Garrus' body crushing hers. When the dust settled, Elaine tried to move and realised exactly how they landed… and blushed.

Her legs were still wrapped tightly around Garrus' waist, her thighs clinging and squeezing him. He was pressed flush against her, the heat of his body almost like a furnace against her skin. Both her wrists were still gripped in his hand and pinned above her head. She wasn't completely crushed, seeing as the turian had had the foresight to use his free arm to catch his upper body. Yet his head was ducked low and away from her so that she couldn't see his face. A supressed rumble thrummed through him, tingling against her flesh where the vibration was so strong, no matter how quiet the actual sound. Every time Elaine's legs even twitched, she felt Garrus tense and the growl take on a new pitch.

Heartbeat fluttering, Elaine realised that everything Tali had told her hadn't been a tease at all. Almost mortified with herself, she slowly uncurled her legs from around his waist and placed her feet back down onto the mat. Slowly, the growl died and the turian relaxed.

"Garrus?" she asked, her voice almost a whisper with him so close. Slowly, he brought his head up to meet here, and she gazed into sky-blue orbs that seemed to capture her attention. He was so close, their faces were only an inch apart. He hadn't said anything, only stared. "You alright?"

Again, he didn't say anything for a long moment. His eyes roamed the contours of her face, and his swallowed thickly before he could muster the will to look her back in the eye and speak. "Yeah…"

"Ticklish?"

Slowly, his fingers uncurled from around her wrists, and he crawled off her. A nervous chuff that was supposed to be a chuckle left his lips. Elaine slowly sat up, the blush refusing to leave her cheeks. Unable to look into her eyes, his gaze settled for her flushed throat. "Sure."

* * *

"Any friend of yours is a friend of mine," Shepard said. Liara watched him with those large blue eyes. Good god, how he wanted to say so much more to her right now. But he couldn't. The last time he tried, she shut him down hard. The best he could do, was be there for her now. "What's the next step?"

Liara snatched up a picture from her desk, suddenly flustered and reminding him of the young and naïve asari he'd met two years ago. "I don't know, I need to prepare, to think… I'm going home. Use my terminal if you need any local intel."

She was heading out towards the door so fast he barely had time to wonder what she was running from. "You okay?"

"I've spent two years plotting revenge… now I have the chance to make it a rescue."

"Let me help," he said. He couldn't let her do this alone. Just being close to her again, it stirred up memories and emotions that refused to be pushed aside. "I'll come by your apartment?"

"Okay," a hint of a smile – _the_ smile she always used to give him – tugged at the corners of her lips when she looked back at him. "Hopefully I'll have a plan by then. Thank you, Shepard…"

He walked out of her office, and carefully down the stairs out to the market floor where he'd left Tali and Miranda. It was nice to be back on Illium again, Shepard reasoned. After the race around the galaxy doing loyalty missions and assignments straight from Alliance Command, it was good to stop for more than a day. The Normandy needed the very last upgrades installed, and Shepard had already helped Miranda with her mission to safeguard her sister. Only a few other crew members had given him things they needed doing, so it wouldn't be long now before they were ready.

As he came out into the afternoon sunlight, a news report spoke overhead that he only half paid attention to: _"Systems Alliance Admiral Jackson, was found murdered on the planet Bekenstein, whilst attending a party of local mob boss Donovan Hock. What this says about the late Admiral and its impact on the Alliance's reputation is still to be discussed. However, one thing is for certain; a full investigation is underway. We'll have more on this story as it develops."_

The news caught his attention, but he then dismissed it. If the Asari news weren't going to go into every detail about the shortcomings of other races, then that meant they had nothing to go on. Instead he focused on finding Miranda and Tali. Except… he only found Tali. The Quarian was leant against the wall just beside the huge archway, and Miranda was nowhere in sight. Had she gone back to talk more with her sister? Shepard wished she'd said something if she had.

"How was Liara?" asked Tali as she bounced to her feet to stand right beside him.

"She's… she's good. She's going home to formulate a plan, then we're going after the Broker. I'm meeting her at her apartment later." Damn it, Shepard thought when a lump caught in his throat. Now was not the time to act like a school-boy all over again! Instead, he tried to shift the subject. "Miranda alright?"

"Yes, she said she wanted to go back to the ship – clear her head. I suppose finally connecting with family after so long… it's a lot to take in."

Tali never seemed comfortable around Miranda, and the way she kept watching him out of the corner of her eye worried him. "You okay, Tali?"

"I'm always fine, Shepard. It's you I'm worried about."

"Me?"

"You think I wouldn't notice you grounding Elaine?" Her tone was slightly scolding, but she immediately softened and touched his arm. Always gentle, always giving him an ear to vent to. "Talk to me, James."

He sighed. He knew this would come eventually, but was unable to resist. "I didn't wanna do it, Tali. She's a heck of a fighter. But I can't have insubordination – from _anyone_. That's a road that'll lead straight to disaster."

"You panicked," she murmured quietly as she led him over to a table at a near market-café. "The last time someone defied your orders… was Akuze."

It took everything in Shepard not to flinch at the mention of the planet. God, how he wished that still didn't haunt him. But Tali was right, she always was. When the Thresher Maws attacked his camp, their C.O had been the first to die. Shepard had taken command in the chaos, but everyone was so panicked and everything had been so confusing, his fellow soldiers didn't listen to him… and it got every single one of them killed. "Yeah."

"Was what Elaine did really that bad?"

"I would've given her a goddamn medal." And it was true. Shepard had nothing against Elaine's motives. In fact, he wished more soldiers were like her: a strong moral compass that would throw away the aggressive and boisterous reputation of the Alliance Military. "But it's the principle. I know you would've wanted me to free the workers too, Tali. But in the moment, I couldn't see a way out. Zaeed is still a little pissed because he didn't get the chance to off Vido himself."

"I understand. I don't like it, but I understand." She told him. And he could respect that. Tali and Garrus had always been upfront with him on their opinions. It had helped keep him grounded back on the SR1. Now? All it did was make him second-guess himself in a time when he really didn't need the doubt. But Tali tried to smile, and he knew the matter was forgiven – for now. "Onwards and upwards, Shepard?"

"Yeah. Shadow Broker's next."

"It seems funny. It wasn't too long ago, I was _this_ close to getting near the Shadow Broker. Then Fist happened. I can't believe I would've died if you hadn't shown up. And then you did the same again on Haestrom. You're always there when I need you."

"I'll always be there, Tali." He vowed, putting his hand over hers on the table and giving it a gentle squeeze. He tried to think of how he'd cope if he'd gotten to Haestrom and learned he'd been too late… It nearly tore his heart out to think of it. "Always."

The Quarian stared at him, eyes glowing brightly behind her mask. What she saw, he didn't know, but she suddenly snapped herself out of it, fingers fiddling with her hood like a human girl would fiddle with her hair when nervous. "I should, err, probably get back to the ship… Um, call me, I mean, if you need anything?"

He nodded and watch her go. She seemed hasty to leave the awkwardness, yet was reluctant to fully abandon him. Shepard smiled as he watched her leave. Tali was an amazing woman, and he knew that someday she was going to make one Quarian the luckiest man in the galaxy. The smile didn't leave him as he reached over towards the holo-menu at the centre of the table and paid for a meal to himself. He had time to kill until he went to Liara's apartment, so why not?

* * *

Elaine was finishing up her meal with Joker and Jacob, when she spotted Operative Lawson quickly come out of her office and hurry to collect hr own meal. The Warden watched the woman, curious. As she waited, Miranda kept shooting glances at their table whenever Joker would tell a joke that would have them all howling with laughter, or when Jacob when he would hurriedly try to get Elaine's attention for her approval on something. For a moment, Elaine thought Miranda might join them, and it seemed that the Operative was considering it. But then, she quickly changed her mind and carried her tray of food back into her office.

Jacob noticed Elaine staring after the X.O, and told her about Miranda's latest mission. Elaine had heard rumour about it but hadn't known the details. Unlike when they had previously stopped at Illium, Elaine had had no desire to go into the sparkling city. For one, she was still pouting over Shepard exiling her from missions. And two, her mind had been a little… _preoccupied_ with earlier things that had happened today.

Regardless, Elaine felt an urge in her stomach. One she was impulsively compelled to enact. Excusing herself from the table, she made her way towards Miranda's office. She had never been in here, and so was a little cautious when she approached the door. Was it her over-active imagination, or was this door particularly shadowed in an otherwise well-lit hallway? In either case, she brushed her hesitancy aside and opened the door. Miranda was sat at her desk, perfectly beautiful face illuminated by the glow of her terminal. She didn't look up, dark hair curtaining her face. She wore a new outfit, Elaine realised. Gone was her virgin white suit, now she was dressed all in shimmering black.

"Miranda?" Elaine said loudly as she stepped into the office. "Do you have a moment?"

"Not right now, Miss Cousland." Came the crisp and old reply without the eyes even looking up from her work. "As you can probably imagine, I am a very busy woman, so if you could just…"

The Warden strode forward and sat herself in the high-backed chair opposite the operative. Miranda finally looked up and glared at Elaine. She in turn only crossed one leg over the other, smiling sweetly.

"What do you want?" Miranda said with a huff.

"I came to offer you my condolences," Elaine explained, her smile slipping away to be replaced with sincerity. "In regard to your sister. You have been reunited and she is safe and sound. I know I'll never see my brother again, so I wanted to just say how happy I am for you."

One would expect Miranda to be surprised by this. One would expect humble gratitude, maybe even a small recount of how the meeting had made Miranda feel. Anything at all to save some semblance of a bridge across the wide divide between them. Elaine expected even a smile. Unfortunately, that is not what she got.

"And?" Miranda asked in a flat voice. "If you don't mind Elaine, I'd like you to leave. I have more important matters to attend to than you."

The Warden sat there a moment, shocked speechless. "Excuse me?" And then, she grew angry. Her legs uncrossed and she stood to her full height, hands on her hips and brows drawn low over her icy eyes. "Miranda, what on earth is your problem?"

"My problem is that I want you out of my space. There are sensitive files here that I don't want you to see."

"Oh, so _that's_ it. You will ignorantly still refer to me as a threat. _Fantastic_!"

"Miss Cousland," Miranda rolled her eyes and finally gave Elaine her full attention – and ire. "Whilst I no longer view you as a spy – which I did on first meeting you – my opinion that you are still a genuine threat to the cohesiveness of this team is still very much in effect. As your recent behaviour on Mr Massani's mission spectacularly showed."

Elaine grit her teeth. "Maker, not you as well."

"You are reckless, disobedient, and I have no patience for anyone who thinks to undermine Shepard's authority."

"You did." Elaine retorted. "The way I hear it, you argue with Shepard near constantly about certain decisions he's made. Like when he initially wanted to go for the Derelict Reaper."

"That's different. I don't do it out in public for all to see. And as Shepard's second in command, I have the authority to test his resolve on those decisions. You, on the other hand, seem to believe you're his equal, not his subordinate."

"Once you hold the title of command, authority is not something you relinquish easily." Elaine admitted in a quiet voice. "I do what I believe to be right. And I will not settle for anything less."

Miranda sneered. "And if you're looking for a buddy, you should go down to Jack. Maybe the pair of you can grunt over bashing heads in as a bonding moment."

"This pettiness is beneath you, Miranda," Elaine finally snapped, pulling on all the times she'd been scolded by her own mother, using _that voice_ to make her opponent feel foolish for her behaviour. "Since day one, you have been set against me. Now, even when I am the one trying to mend this rift, you refuse me. So, if you are that set on hating me, go ahead. You wouldn't be the first."

Elaine fully intended to turn around and walk out and leave it at that. In her eyes, she had been the better woman for trying, even if it had ended in maddening and frustrating failure. However, Miranda's next mumbled words stopped her in her tracks. "I don't hate you." Slowly turning, Elaine found Miranda standing behind her desk, looking a little stiff as she tucked her dark hair behind one ear. "I… admire you, in fact."

One of Elaine's brows shot up almost to her hairline. "This conversation just took a very strange turn…"

"Shut up and listen," snapped the ice-queen in a tone Elaine was much more familiar with. "When you first came aboard, I was suspicious, yes, I'll admit that. But after some time, observing you, hearing the crew talk about you… I wouldn't have believed it. Your skill in battle, your ability to naturally lead people. You inspire everyone around you, without even trying. You have that fire that makes someone willing to follow you into Hell itself. Shepard has that too. I don't."

This startling change in demeanour made Elaine pause for a moment. It was a great shock to Elaine to realise that Miranda was actually admitting she was jealous. But how can that be? Miranda never gave anything away from her cool and professional mask. Elaine had always seen her as an iron lad, impenetrable and unbending. Yet to see her with such a flaw made her almost… human. It compelled the Warden to know more, to understand.

"And why is that, Miranda?"

"My father got me the best genes money could buy." When Elaine looked a little confused, Miranda looked exasperated before explaining. "He basically paid for me to be have certain things inherent in my blood. The intelligence, the looks, even the biotics… he paid for all of that. Every one of _your_ accomplishments is due to your skill. The only things I can take credit for, are my mistakes."

"I wouldn't say that." Elaine murmured softly.

Miranda snapped her eyes back to Elaine and growled. "What do _you_ know? You don't know anything about–"

"About a daughter who feels completely overshadowed and unable to escape the accomplishments of her father?" she supplied. Miranda paused, not expecting that. Elaine offered her an unhappy smile. "I know plenty, Miranda. All when I was growing up, and long after I joined the Grey Wardens, I was hounded by my father's reputation. Some of the things I did myself were attributed by others in some way to him. And I know that _you_ won't escape that same shadow so long as you keep putting it over yourself. Your father might have made you this way, but it doesn't define who you are. Your ability and your dedication speak for themselves."

Operative Lawson was further rendered speechless in the wake of Elaine's words. For a moment, she didn't know what to say. Elaine allowed her the moment. Miranda had to come to her own conclusions. She was not the type of woman to be hand-held through moments like these. In many respects, she kind-of reminded Elaine of Morrigan.

"I… thank you," Miranda said quietly. "You know, when we first met, I thought you were an insane loose cannon."

Elaine gave her a wide amused grin. "I'd wager everyone did. Some still do."

"I didn't fully believe you'd be up to the task of our mission. And it seems I was wrong. Frankly, based on what I've seen, I almost wish Shepard had recruited you earlier." There was a single second where the two women locked gazes for a split second and each recognised the respect they held for the other. And then, Miranda's mask was firmly put back in place and she coolly returned to her work. "But you still need to fall in line."

The Warden afforded herself a secret smile as she left. Yes, bridges could be built even over seemingly impossible chasms. But some things still never changed.

* * *

Shepard walked away from the corpse of the Asari Spectre. Vasir's words rang in his ears but he filed them away to brood over later. What a fucking mess, he thought to himself. What he'd thought would be a quiet night talking with Liara had turned into a high-speed chase across the city like some bad spy-vid. At least they got what they came for, and at least Liara was alright. Considering everything that had happened to them, Shepard wished he'd kept Tali or somebody with him. Having to fight through the Trade Centre by himself to find Liara hadn't been fun whatsoever.

Speaking of Liara, he found her on another balcony not far from where their skycar had crashed. She was looking over the data she'd extracted from Vasir, shoulders and back rigid with tension. Shepard was worried as he tried to rationalise in his brain the drastic changes he was seeing in the asari before him. It seemed like the closer they were getting to the Shadow Broker, the more fixated, the more haunted and obsessive she became. The darkness he'd seen in her eyes was growing and he hated it. Darkness was a good friend of his, it had been with him for a long time. But it didn't belong in Liara, his beautiful, innocent archaeologist. She was the epitome of light and life, she had been his hope. And more than anything he wanted to get that back for her, before the darkness swallowed her whole like it did him.

"I'm putting the data through to the Normandy's computers," said Liara stoically as she heard him approach her. Hurriedly, she turned off her omni-tool and marched away from him before his hand could reach out to her. "We can be at the Shadow Broker's base in a few hours. He'll know about Vasir before long. If he decides to kill Feron–"

"We'll get Feron out of there alive, Liara," Shepard interrupted, grasping hold of her arm, trying to reach her in any way possible. "I promise."

Slowly, she turned to look at him, really look at him, and he saw how thin and hollow she'd become. "I know. You're here to help. Just like always."

"That's not a good thing?"

"When we first met on Therum," she said, face slowly twisting into a scowl of self-loathing. "You saved me from the Geth. You fought a Krogan Battlemaster while I cowered. Now, you're doing it again, and I'm still leaning on you for help."

"That's what friends _do_ Liara."

But she wouldn't listen. She turned away from him and walked away. Had she sensed what he'd been meaning to say, that she should lean on him for help? That that's what _lovers_ do? Shepard thought for a moment what he would do if Liara told him it was two years too late. The thought made him sick in his stomach. But he was done running from this, he had Liara alone and he was going to get to the bottom of all of this.

"I can get us to the Broker's base based on Sekat's data." Liara continued on about work, seemingly completely uninterested in talking about anything other than business. "The Normandy's stealth drive will keep them from detecting us. The Shadow Broker's agents are still shooting their way through Illium. With any luck, they won't notice we've left until it's too late–"

"That's a little cold for you," Shepard snapped and finally spun her around to face him. "Two years ago, you wouldn't want any innocents caught in the crossfire."

"You know what I mean."

"Do I?" he pressed and took a step closer until they were almost nose to nose. "When I hit the ground back at the Trade Centre, you went after Vasir without a backward look."

Her eyes darted away from his, something pained coming across her expression, yet she tried to wave it off. "A little fall wasn't going to kill you. I had to stay on Vasir. I had to stay rational, make the call, like I did with Sekat."

"That wasn't your fault, Liara."

"Sekat had no idea what the stakes were. I put him in harm's way to get the data I needed. I got him killed." Though she tried to act aloof, he could see the quickened rise and fall of her chest, supressing the need to cry from guilt. How he wanted to take her in his arms at that moment… but then she got a handle on herself and remained cold. "And I'd do it again. But from here on out, things will be simple. Get in. Get Feron. Get out. And kill anyone who tries to stop us."

"That's it?" he asked, but she tried to walk away. At boiling point, Shepard refused to take this a second longer. His hand caught hold of hers and spun her back to him. "Will you just stop for a second!" they both stood frozen at his outburst, and it gave the Commander a moment to take a breath. "We'll be jumping several light years. There's time to talk."

"About what?"

"About us?" he pressed. His hand slipped up her arm and gently squeeze her shoulder, desperate to feel any warmth from her. "Liara, you were my everything back on the SR1. I couldn't talk to no one like I talked to you. But when I first saw you on Illium, you were cold… you can't even look me in the eye anymore."

And she looked at him then, as if she too realised it as well, and was trying to correct the mistake she'd unconsciously made. Tears shone in her eyes, he could see the emotion desperate to get out, but she still stubbornly supressed it, edging around formality as if he were a stranger. "Shepard, listen, I'm glad you're here…"

"What?" he snapped. "You think there might be terminals you need me to hack?"

"That's not fair!" she said, distressed by his biting tone. "You were _dead_."

"I came back!"

"It's not that easy. You can't come back and just have two years of mourning suddenly vanish. I saw your _body,_ James; and you think I can stop seeing that every time I close my eyes?" she shivered, and all it did was remind Shepard of how exactly he'd lost her. What must she have gone through, what must she have seen? All it did was fill him with more guilt. Liara distanced herself from him, hand covering her eyes to hide how her composure was slipping. "I'm sorry, Shepard. I can't get into this. For now, let's just focus on getting Feron back."

He stepped away from her, unable to take the heartache in his chest a second longer. "Fine." He muttered and put a finger to his earpiece. "EDI? Have you found the location in the data?"

 _"_ _I have, Commander,"_ said the AI at once. _"We can leave immediately."_


	28. The Broker

**Author's Note: I think the site has been buggy last week, I don't know if everyone got a notification for chapter 27. I'd advise you read that, if that's the case.**

* * *

Garrus, Tali, Chakwas and Joker had all joined Shepard that evening when he'd brought aboard a new asari. From what Elaine could gather, this new woman who called herself Liara, was a member of the old crew from Shepard's previous ship. The group had eaten dinner together and though Liara was obviously tense and occupied with something else, she humoured her friends. Elaine left them be that night, mostly because she felt like an outsider, more so than she had in a long time since coming aboard the Normandy. Instead, she visited Thane and chatted with him into the late hours. Another reason, was because she and Garrus were kind of avoiding each other. Since the rather _heated_ exchange that had occurred between them in the cargo-hold, the pair had almost unanimously decided to keep their distance. Elaine wanted time to try and understand what exactly had happened, and why each time she thought about it, her stomach flipped. But she was more concerned over Garrus avoiding her – had she ruined their friendship by making things too awkward?

So, she left Shepard and the others to bask in their sense of nostalgia. By the next morning, EDI announced that they'd arrived at the destination Liara intended to bring Shepard to. Something about the Shadow Broker. Elaine remembered that name being mentioned when she first awoke on Horizon. Shepard had then departed with Garrus and Liara to infiltrate the base, and everyone had seen them off with good-luck wishes.

Not an hour later, Elaine got a call to her Omni-tool.

 _"_ _Elaine?"_ came the voice of Grunt after Elaine had rather nervously tried to deduce how to make her Omni-tool stop flashing a light. _"You better get down to Deck 4, quickly, Warden."_

She frowned. "Grunt? What's going on?"

 _"_ _It's the Quarian."_ He said. _"Heard her yell and found her on the floor. She's… whaddya call it? Crying?"_

The Warden ran for the elevator and slammed her hand onto the command for engineering deck. With the metal box moving painfully slow, Elaine paced back and forth like a caged animal. What was wrong with Tali? Had she been attacked? Had something gone wrong with her suit? The questions buzzed inside Elaine's stomach and made her feel sick. When the elevator finally stopped, she was nearly forcing the doors open herself to get out of them quicker. She ran past Grunt and Jack who were both stood outside Engineering. Even from there, Elaine could hear a terrified cry echo through the ship. Sprinting into Engineering, Elaine found Ken and Gabby hovering near a collapsed Tali.

The poor Quarian was knelt in a heap in front of her terminal. Her mask was buried in her hands as her shoulders shook from the force of her crying. Elaine instantly dropped to the floor beside her, attempting to see if anything was the matter. But the young woman had no physical injuries that Elaine could spot. What else might've happened? She looked over her shoulder and gave Gabby and Ken a questioning look.

"No idea," Gabby immediately threw her hands up to profess innocence. "She was at her terminal, then all of a sudden started cryin'."

Ken looked a little uncomfortable with his inability to do anything as Tali continued to weep. "I… I think I'll go and err… get the lass a cup o' tea."

He was only half way to the door when Gabby turned to follow. "I'll come and, um, give you a hand, Ken."

Now alone with her distraught friend, Elaine took the Quarian in her arms and gently rocked her back and forth. Her mother used to do the same thing whenever she was upset, no matter how old she got. Murmuring softly, Elaine slowly calmed her friend enough she thought she could get some answers. "Tali? Hey, come on, tell me what happened. Are you hurt?"

"No… no. Oh, Elaine," Tali sniffed, trying to choke back her tears to look up at the Warden with pleading eyes. "I need help,"

"Tell me."

"I just received a message from the Migrant Fleet. The Admiralty Board has accused me of _treason_." She visibly trembled at the word, and another panic attack threatened to set in. "They're asking me to come back to the Fleet to stand trial… I'm scared, Elaine!"

"Hush," the human whispered to sooth away the fear gripping her friend. "It's nothing but a load of rubbish. No one who knows you would ever believe such a ridiculous thing."

"But, Elaine, they don't lay charges like this unless the evidence seems absolute!"

"Well, then let's work out why they're accusing you." She pulled back and made Tali look her in the eye. Perhaps, if she had the woman think this through from a more logical stand-point, it might help her. "Is it because you're working with humans?"

"No, there's no law against serving aboard alien ships. And I got leave to serve on the Normandy again." Her hands wrung together, a usual nervous habit which was now amplified in her emotional state. "I have no idea what they're accusing me of. You'd think I would remember if I'd betrayed the Fleet!"

"What happens when a Quarian is charged with treason?"

"There's a hearing with members of the Admiralty Board acting as judges. My father is on the Board. He'll have to recuse himself from judgement…" a pitiful moan of shame escaped her. "I can't even imagine what he's thinking right now!"

"Don't worry about him," Elaine said, "Was there no indication of why you're accused?"

"None. The specifics of charges like this are rarely discussed on open channels. I won't know anything until I get to the flotilla."

"And what happens exactly if you're found guilty?"

Tali had to take a long moment to swallow loudly. When she spoke, her voice trembled as badly as her hands. "The punishment for treason is exile. If they convict me, I can never go back. The specifics are up to the judges. Not that it really matters. Either way, if I'm convicted, I'll never see the Migrant Fleet again."

"No prison or execution?"

"We don't have the spare resources for long-term incarceration. And we don't have enough people to afford executions."

Elaine frowned. "How often does this happen?"

"It's rare. It must be something that affects the entire Flotilla, not just one ship. The most recent one was Anora'Vanya vas Selani, an engineer who handed over Fleet defence schematics to the Batarians. She had good intentions. The Batarians were contracted to upgrade our systems. But they passed on the schematics to a pirate gang."

"And what happened to her?"

"She made a suicide run on the pirate gang. She destroyed them before they could attack the Fleet. She was pardoned… posthumously." Tali tried to ease her own tension by huckling nervously, though it sounded more like a strangled yelp. "Let's hope I don't have to prove my innocence that way."

Grabbing hold of Tali's hands, Elaine gripped them tightly, to offer whatever strength she could give. "If I have my way, you won't have to prove anything. We're going to clear your name."

"How?" the Quarian asked with the same hopelessness of a child lost in an unending forest far from home.

"I have my ways when it comes to politics like this," the Warden murmured. Once upon a time, she'd managed to bribe, sway and rally an entire Landsmeet to follow her command. This would be no problem. She stood, stance full of purpose and the righteous anger of a mother-wolf out to defend her cubs. "Shepard must be told at once. How long until the trial?"

Tali stood on shaky legs. "The admirals know I'm serving away from the Fleet. They'll give me maybe a few weeks to find my way back to the Flotilla."

"Then that is what we'll do."

"I need to book passage on another ship – there won't be time for Shepard to help…"

"No." Elaine cut her off. There was no hope in hell she would allow Tali to leave and fend this off by herself. "You need to calm down, pull yourself together and sit tight. I'll inform Shepard of this and make sure it's on his list of priorities."

"But I…" Tali made to argue, but one look from Elaine silenced her. Slowly, she settled, and nodded. Before Elaine could move, the Quarian launched herself at her, and wrapped her arms around her neck. Tears were in her voice as she whispered in her friend's ear. "Thank you, Elaine."

Ken and Gabby arrived not long after that, with several cups of Dextro-Tea with straws for Tali. Apparently, it was a very 'British' way of coping, according to Ken. Elaine didn't know exactly what that was, but she was willing to let anyone have a try at keeping Tali from falling apart again. With the two engineers back in the room, Elaine hurriedly retreated back out and made her way up to the CIC. All through the elevator journey, she impatiently tapped her foot and let her mind race through the new situation and what she had to do. If she was still in command of her own Companions, she would already be making preparations for the journey to Tali's trial. As it was, she had to settle for trying to get a message to Shepard.

Joker had a direct comm. link to Shepard in order for him to be quickly called to whisk the team to safety if needed. Elaine planned to have him relay her message. Or, she would have, had she not spotted something out of the corner of her eye. As she passed Shepard's terminal, she noticed the screen was active. The Warden frowned. From what she heard through the grapevine (and by that, she meant Kelly's comments at dinner) Shepard hardly ever looked at his terminal unless it was strictly necessary. And Shepard had been out of the Normandy for an hour or two now, and the terminals went dark if someone didn't touch them after so long. So, who had touched this one? Unable to deny her curiosity, she ventured closer. The screen was flashing an error warning.

"Kelly?" Elaine called to the woman across the way. "I think something's wrong with this messenger, could you…?"

"No problem!" the ginger woman chirped cheerily. She bounced over and leant over Elaine's shoulder to peer at the screen. Instantly, she frowned. "Hmm, strange. Nobody's supposed to go on here but Shepard. The alert looks like it was a hastily deleted message."

"Can you restore it?"

"Not by myself," stepping back, Kelly looked up at the ceiling. "EDI? Can you clear this up?"

There was a moment, as the screen warped and scrambled. EDI's voice echoed down to them from above. "Here you are, Miss Chambers, Miss Cousland. Whoever sent this was in a hurry and did not have time to completely scrub the data from our systems."

A letter appeared. Short and to the point: _Shepard's approaching Hagalaz. Dr T'soni is with him. I want out!_

"It appears someone has worked around my systems," said EDI. "I had no idea a message was sent or deleted."

Kelly frowned. "That's not good. EDI's connected into all our systems. For someone to be able to block her out without her even noticing…"

"Why from Shepard's terminal?" Elaine asked.

"It's super-private. The Illusive Man wanted it that way, as a sign of good faith towards Shepard. If someone was using this to send out information, it would be difficult for the rest of us to know."

Nodding, Elaine spoke to EDI, "Now you know it's there, can you find out who sent this?"

There was a moment's pause before the AI piped up: "Elaine, I have the ID of our traitor."

* * *

The shotgun recoiled into Shepard's stomach as he fired off again and again at the oncoming troops. Thunder roared around him, and the wind threatened to lift him into the air, even with his mag-boots. On his nine-o'clock, Liara threw her biotics about in an attempt to control the crowd of enemies. On his six, Garrus was taking care of the other side. The door behind all three of them leading into the Broker base needed to be defended from all three sides. The ticking timer of Liara's ' _lockpick_ ' device beeped slowly. More waves of enemies came hurtling at them from both sides, but Shepard was too busy trying to take out the drones with rocket-launchers that were too dangerous to be left alone.

"How much longer till that door's unlocked?!" he barked in order to be heard over the storm around them.

Liara ducked back down behind cover to pop in another heat-sink. "Just a few more seconds!"

"Anyone else feel like they knew we were coming?" Garrus piped up as his rifle fired and the head of an asari exploded.

Shepard had to admit, it did seem as if this mission had been doomed to failure right from the start. Liara had tried to pass off the initial resistance as guards come to dislodge debris from the storm. But those excuses had died quickly when the forces had gotten more numerous and more challenging. The way the Broker's elite guard were giving it their all, it was like they were prepared…

As if on que, the door behind them gave one long shriek and opened. _Time to go,_ Shepard realised. Aiming the shotgun at one of the lightning-rods, Shepard let off a shot that had the conductor exploding. Lightning shot across the deck, burning holes through the Broker's soldiers that were standing too close. Taking the chance, Shepard, with Garrus hot on his heels, dove for the open door. When Liara didn't immediately follow, Shepard spun to usher her in – and his heart stopped.

Liara was running for the door, but one of the drones had managed to miraculously dodge the lightning strikes. It shot off one rocket at the intruding Asari, and the floor right behind Liara's feet exploded upwards. The force unbalanced her and launched her into the air. Shepard saw the exact moment when gravity lost its hold on her and the wind attempted to take over. Without thinking, the Commander leapt up and snatched hold of her wrist before she could be whisked away, his other hand anchoring them both by latching onto the door frame. Liara clung to him, her face contorted with terror as she dangled in the mercy of the storm. The drone readied itself for another shot, but Garrus was there and took it down with a single well-placed shot. Hurrying to his friends, the turian latched onto the commander's leg and began to drag them back down to the ground. When finally they were in, the doors slammed shut and were sealed.

Shepard and Liara clung to each other, both attempting to regain their breath and their nerves. Shepard was desperately trying to keep it together and recover the composure of his frantically beating heart. The thought of losing Liara had him petrified on a whole new level he'd never considered before. But also, that feeling of weightlessness, of being at without gravity and the thought of being spaced like that… it brought back ill memories that threatened to send him into one of his frequent nightmare-induced panic attacks. It was only through the hold of the woman in his arms that he managed to keep a lid on it – though just barely.

Garrus stood beside them, expression indicating he expected them to get on with the mission. Trying to not appear weak, Shepard covered his emotions as best he could, and turned to Liara. "You okay?"

"Y-Yes…" she nodded shakily. For a moment, as he held her in his arms, it appeared as if they wanted to say more to the other. And then, Liara was hastily getting up, and ripping off her atmosphere-mask. She took point and marched down the corridor before the others could stop her. "Come on, we can't be far now."

Sighing, Shepard got to his feet as well to dejectedly follow. He and Garrus took off their helmets, clipping them to their belts as they followed after Liara. After a moment, the turian leaned in close to his Commander to speak quietly: "Everything okay there, Shepard?"

"Fine. Just fine." The human muttered, frustrated that apparently he was transparent and hastily sought to correct that fact.

Garrus gestured between Shepard and the further ahead asari. "So why aren't you two even touching, let alone talking?"

"It's complicated."

"And the Shepard I know would call that answer Bullshit." Hand leaving his rifle, Garrus reached over to squeeze Shepard's shoulder in a rare show of affection. "Look, Shepard, you're one of the few friends I've got left in this screwed up galaxy. And I know how much Liara means to you. If I had something like what you two have, you can bet I wouldn't let it slide away. You shouldn't either."

There was a part of Shepard that really wanted to take to heart his friend's pep-talk. But the more rational part of him, the one that was also hurting the most from all this, said instead: "I was dead. For two years. She's grieved and moved on."

"If you were really dead, you should know from personal experience that every moment counts."

They moved on. Through the low-lit winding halls they carefully ventured. Shepard slowly took point as he realised that the halls were structured specifically to create ambushes. Stairs at the front and back of corridors and sharp corners were the perfect spots for guards to lay in weight. And they trio did encounter some resistance, but it appeared that the Broker must've sent the bulk of his guard outside. Liara's biotics proved more effective to pin large numbers of enemies in the small environments where they were forced into clumps. They proved to be easy targets. The three worked so well together that Shepard almost believed he'd travelled back to two years ago. But all it took was one glimpse at a reflection, to see the crisscross of orange scars that lit up his face to remind him that he was a walking corpse.

Finally, they reached what looked to be a garrison, and just beyond, they came across a large window. Inside was a white-washed room that looked suspiciously like it belonged to a hospital. A chair was the sole focus of the layout, hooked up to various machines and wires. The hum of electrical machines could be faintly heard even through the glass. Strapped and tied down into the chair was a Drell, with a more orange scale-colour when Shepard mentally compared it to Thane's forest green. He seemed asleep, head slumped to one side and eyes closed. One might've thought him dead, if Shepard hadn't spotted the rise and fall of his chest.

Liara recognised him instantly and ran up to the glass. "Feron!"

Slowly, the Drell blinked open his eyes. Weakly, he turned towards the sound of her voice, confusion, delirium in his expression. "Liara…?"

"Hold on – we're getting you out of here!" she frantically brought up her omni-tool, running various programs to hack into the system.

There was a loud bleep, and then suddenly electricity burst out to engulf the chair. Feron screamed, his back arched and his legs spasmed. Liara gasped and immediately put away her omni-tool. Her hand covered her mouth in horror as she watched her friend be tortured. Shepard did feel pity for the poor man, especially if he'd been suffering like this for two years. Finally, the punishment ended, and Feron sank back into the chair, exhausted.

"You can't…" he wheezed, and feebly rolled his head to the large doors to Shepard's left. "I'm hooked into the main power. Pull me out now and my brain cooks… Go to central operations…"

"You mean the Shadow Broker, don't you." Shepard stated quietly.

The Commander looked to Liara, saw her so distraught, so wracked by grief and guilt as she gazed on how pitiful her friend had become. The young and innocent woman Shepard had known had been turned into a shadow of her former self. She was harder, tortured by fear and guilt. She'd done everything to get Shepard back, and on the way had made herself a target and lost a friend. The Shadow Broker had done this to her. And Shepard wouldn't stand for it.

"Goddess…" Liara whispered to herself as she nearly lost herself to despair. It was only when she caught a flash of the Commander's black armour moving did she look up to realise he was marching towards the great doors. "Shepard? What're you doing?"

"Finishing this."

* * *

Under EDI's direction, Elaine tracked through the CIC towards their traitor. They'd discussed whether or not to bring in any others in case of a struggle. Elaine was tempted, but decided against it. If this person was a spy, they would be immediately alerted if a group of Shepard's warriors came marching in his direction. No, it was better to catch him off guard. And that she did. He was sitting at one of the machines that lined the corridor leading to Joker's cockpit. A rather unassuming looking man, of roughly average height and build, with brown hair and brown eyes. He looked completely ordinary in every way, nothing about him stood out. Elaine gathered that that was what made for a great spy.

"Robert Manford?" Elaine said as she stopped behind his chair. The man looked over his shoulder at her, expression irritated at why she would be disturbing his work. Elaine made sure to keep her face and voice unreadable. "Care to explain to me what it is you do aboard this ship?"

"Err… I monitor comm. traffic, why?" he said, confused.

Elaine slowly leant forward and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Just wondered what a traitor does in his spare time when he's not selling out his crewmates."

The man recoiled as if burned, but Elaine's sudden grip on his shoulder held him in place. Others around them snapped their heads to attention at the accusation. Robert yelped as he tried to hide his panic. "What?"

"We recovered the email," Elaine said, all pleasantness from her voice gone as she reached around to get a better grip on his shirt. "You warned the Shadow Broker Shepard was coming. You've also been spying on the rest of the ship, sending the Broker information and private messages to him. And frankly, I'd like to know why."

Before she could get her answer, Robert suddenly launched himself out of the chair. He tackled Elaine's middle, sending her stumbling back. He tried to disengage himself, to run, but the Warden caught him by the scruff of his neck and pulled him back towards her. Robert thrashed like a wild animal to escape Elaine's hands that tried to restrain him. He kicked out at her, which she easily avoided. When he tried to throw a wild fist, Elaine ducked low and punched him under the jaw. Robert staggered backwards, falling against the airlock door, eyes rolling as he struggled to stay conscious.

"It was just for some extra credits!" he shouted, breathing heavily as he shook off the ringing blow. "The Broker wanted someone on the inside of the Illusive Man's pet project."

"And you betrayed your Commander!" Elaine snapped. "Surrender!"

"No way," he shook his head, face suddenly going pale. "No, Shepard'll kill me. Or-Or make me _wish_ I was dead. And if I get outta here, the Broker'll kill me too…"

Robert's fingers played around with his omni-tool. And suddenly, the display began to emit a loud pinging-noise with a large warning symbol. Something in Elaine's stomach constricted and an instinct of danger overcame her. She reacted without thought.

"EDI! AIRLOCK!"

The door behind Robert snapped open at the same time as Elaine mustered all her strength to kick the man in the gut. The force propelled him backwards into the tiny room as EDI sealed the door behind him. An alarm blared across the ship as the outside door suddenly opened, and Robert Manford was flung out into the great nothingness of space. In the millisecond it took for him to be sucked out of the ship, a moment later Elaine spotted the bright bloom of an explosion.

"Everyone okay?" Elaine asked of the crew who were all stood staring in horror at what had just transpired. At their nods, the Warden breathed a sigh of relief. "Good… Who volunteers to tell Shepard?"

* * *

In the aftermath of the fight, Shepard leaned against the Broker's desk, panting. Many things hurt across his body, some of which he wasn't looking forward to feeling tomorrow. Thank god for fast-healing cybernetics. Across the room, Liara was hunched over the wall filled with audio feeds from various Broker agents. Shepard was still in shock, actually, that Liara, _his_ Liara, was now the new Shadow Broker… Obviously the woman herself was still attempting to process everything, she still hadn't turned around from where she had asserted herself. Shepard decided to let her have a moment to take it all in, whilst he recovered from the worst of the bruising he could feel spreading across his face and ribs. Damnit, he never wanted to face a Yahg again!

Feron helped Garrus lip out of the room to get some quick medigel for the concussion he was bound to have from being knocked out for most of the fight. Shepard watched them go with a wave to Garrus. Out of curiosity, he looked across at one of the screens at the Broker's old desk. One of the files that was conveniently laid out for him, grabbed his attention almost immediately. It was simply titled 'NORMANDY'. Upon opening it, Shepard discovered forwarded messages and extranet results that pertained to each member of his crew, some of which were very private. There were reports of the Normandy's progress, inside information, all sorts of things that couldn't be in the old Broker's possession unless someone was snitching. Another thing for Shepard to sort out when he got back to his ship. Another file caught his eye, and upon opening it, Shepard read through the correspondence between the Illusive Man and the Shadow Broker. _Son of a Bitch!_

A soft noise caught his attention. Glancing over, Shepard felt his heart sink to see Liara hunched over, burying her face in her hands as she tried to cry quietly. Unable to see her that way, Shepard limped towards her, doing his best to make his stride as normal as possible by the third step. He hesitated only a moment just behind her, unsure of if she would accept his comfort. But the twist in his insides wouldn't leave him be, so he carefully turned the asari woman towards him and pulled her into his arms. Liara did not resist him, in fact, she pressed her head into his armoured shoulder to hide her tears, clung to him for comfort as he held her.

"It's over…" she whispered shakily, "finally… for two years…"

Shepard held her tighter. He hoped more than anyone that what she said was right. That after two years, the struggles were over. Especially for her. "It's alright–"

Breaking away from him, Liara cupped his face and pulled him down to crash her lips onto his. Shepard froze, taken completely by surprise. Liara kissed him, slow and sweet, and Shepard melted into her touch. His arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. God, how long had he dreamed of this moment? How long since waking up had he craved to have her back in his life?

Liara broke the kiss first, pulling back to catch her breath. Shepard would've kissed her again, but the frightened look in her eyes stopped him. "Liara?"

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" she murmured over and over, tears gathering in her eyes. She shook her head and tried to pull away. There was that look of guilt on her face, and the Commander realised that she felt like she'd done something wrong. "Shepard, I just–"

"I love you, Liara," he told her quickly. Once the words were out, nothing could take them back. Liara froze, eyes wide. But Shepard wouldn't go back on them, not ever. With trembling fingers, he reached up to stroke her cheek, and pressed his forehead to hers. "I always have."

"Oh Shepard… Thank you for being here with me." And once again their lips met. Shepard didn't want to release her. Wherever she touched him, he felt the horrid scars fading away, the darkness that haunted him receding, the nightmares losing their hold. When they broke apart for breath once again, Liara held onto him just as fiercely as he did to her as she blurted out: "Don't go on the mission. Don't go after the Collectors."

"You know I have to."

Her bottom lip trembled as she stared up into his eyes. "I know. But we both know it's suicide. I just you got back, I finally let myself believe you're back. And now you're going to run off to die again."

The nightmares returned to the forefront of his mind. The emptiness, the cold, the feeling of having no air, his insides ripping themselves apart, the weightlessness of no gravity. The aloneness. Know he'd die, alone and abandoned, was what made his throat close up. He tried to hide how badly his voice shook, but it made no difference. "I don't want to. You know that, right?"

"But you will. Because that's who you are." Liara slowly pulled herself away from him, her eyes sad, lonely, as if she already knew the outcome. "You'll leave me again. And this time I won't be able to find you again."

"Liara, please. Give me something to come back to." Shepard begged, his emotions flaying him raw as he laid himself bare before her. He plucked up her hands and gently squeezed them as he pressed her knuckles against his mouth. He worshipped her like a goddess that could safeguard him from destruction. "I don't want to d-die. I just want to be with you. That's all I've ever wanted… please don't send me away. I can't–"

Before his panic attack could swallow him whole, Liara pulled him into her arms and just held him. This time, it was Shepard's turn let the tears fall as he buried his face into the crook of her neck. It was as if his body knew that the moment he left this room, he would need to become the impassive and immovable Commander again, unable to show his emotions whatsoever. Unable to reveal to anyone how badly he was frightened of losing everything. So, in this dark and holy place, with her, he let out everything, and allowed himself to believe that she and him were both somewhere far away, in another time, another life.

Liara comforted him with her soft voice beside his ear. "So long as there's breath in my body, Shepard… I'm always yours."

* * *

When Shepard arrived back on the Normandy, Elaine was certain he hadn't envisioned returning home to the story she told him. Of spies and traitors, and of treasonous accusations and future trials. Shepard immediately told Joker to head towards the current location of the Migrant Fleet, and Elaine was surprised when he easily accepted her story of the spy she'd discovered. He even told her about the evidence he'd uncovered whilst aboard the Broker's ship. With all of this in mind, he and Elaine both marched straight towards the conference room and had EDI call the Illusive Man.

As before, Elaine found the magic of this device to be quite unsettling. To summon forth a ghost of a person who was in reality sitting millions of miles away and made so that one was able to talk to them in real time. The Magisters of Tevinter would soil themselves at the prospect of such power. Indeed, the Illusive Man reminded Elaine of every nightmarish Tevinter that had been the villain of bedtime stories when she was a child. As always, he was concealed in shadows, with only the slightest light in the gloom to illuminate his features. Blue eyes were unnaturally bright, and the plume of smoke that leaked from his nostrils reminded Elaine too much of a dragon about to incinerate you.

"Shepard," he said, nodding to the commander as he pulled on his cigarette. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I wanna know what the hell you're playing at." Shepard growled out.

"You'll need to provide me with more context than that, Shepard."

"Alright, let's start with the Broker informant that was on my ship!"

The Illusive Man's eyes narrowed, as if this information disgruntled even him. "I just got the report from EDI. I was as completely in the dark about this as you. Though my organisation is usually pretty thorough in worming out spies such as this before they even join up, not every system is perfect. It was probably as Manford said: the Broker wanted someone on the inside of our project."

"The security of my ship was compromised," said Shepard. "He was passing sensitive information about my crew."

"I am sorry this happened, Shepard. And the best I can do now is to suggest an upgrade to EDI's systems to help ensure this doesn't happen again." Another long drag of the cigarette. "Besides, I heard the situation was handled. By Miss Cousland?"

Elaine stepped forward, eyes narrowed on the ghostly image of a man. "I did what I had to."

"And once again, I'm impressed."

"Impressed enough that you would go behind my back to the Shadow Broker?" Shepard bit out. "I read the message in the Broker's lair. You paid him for information on Elaine."

The Illusive Man didn't bother denying it. "The Shadow Broker was a tool, one that at the time I thought I could use. I was only attempting to gather some information. You'd brought an unknown into your crew, Shepard. I had to make sure that she wouldn't compromise our mission."

"Why is it," said Elaine, "that even when I'm speaking to the image of a man, I can still tell when he's lying…"

Shepard's arms crossed, standing firm. "So what happened? You got your information then decided to turn the Broker over to me?"

"The Broker had outlived his usefulness. And as we've learned, he was more of a threat than we realised thanks to his alliance with the Collectors."

"This is a waste of time, Shepard," Elaine said and began to lead Shepard away. "There's nothing more he can tell us."

"Goodbye, Shepard. And Miss Cousland?" the Illusive Man called after them. Elaine looked over her shoulder, a ball of dread in her stomach as she met those unnatural eyes. "I do hope that we might speak in person one day. I'd like to finally get to the bottom of the mystery that surrounds you."

* * *

 **A/N: I always wondered how the Broker managed to get files on the Normandy Crew unless he had an agent on board the ship. So, this was my interpretation of that!**

 **Next week, we go to the Migrant Fleet!**


	29. The Trial

**Author's Note: I want to say a huge thank you to everyone that's been leaving me such wonderful comments and reviews - you guys make my day and help me improve all the time. I honestly couldn't do this without you.**

 **And please don't forget to leave a review at the end! All comments welcome!**

* * *

They reached the Valhallen Threshold, and met with the Migrant Fleet. Ships beyond counting lined the stars, each of different sizes, designs and shapes. As the Normandy approached, they were hailed by a voice to welcome them in. Tali gave a passphrase to allow them entry, and Shepard had his team ready to go. Elaine listened in on the entire thing, even as she snuck into the armoury and began to put on pieces of her armour one by one. Jacob came in and asked what she was doing, but her pleading eyes for a favour softened him, though he admitted he wasn't taking the fall for it. Elaine hugged him to show her gratitude, before strolling out towards the airlock. She marched with purpose, as if nothing were amiss, helmet tucked under one arm. Tali once told her that her ships had little air, so helmets were always worn.

Shepard saw her approaching and frowned disapprovingly. "And where do you think you're going?"

"With you," she answered simply.

"You're banned from the ground team, remember?" he folded his arms across his chest, impassive. Behind him, Garrus and Tali looked at each other, a little worried.

"Come on, Shepard," sighed Elaine, exasperated. "Have I not proved my loyalty? What about the spy I caught just last week?"

"Yeah, you did good, but–"

"Okay, fine. I won't be on the ground team." She reached back and removed her sword. Marching up to Joker, she placed her precious blade leaning against his chair. "See? I'll leave Starfang here."

"Err… you're leaving the stick of death right next to me?" Joker asked. No one listened.

"Please, Shepard," Elaine pleaded. "I just want to be there for Tali today."

Garrus took that opportunity to speak up. "You can still ground her when we get back. It's just this once."

"James," said Tali as she went to stand beside Elaine. "She's my friend."

Dark eyes shifting to analyse Elaine's face, Shepard was silent for a few moments. Elaine prayed he found the answer he was looking for. She hated to ask for permission like a child, but if she was to have any chance of getting back on the team eventually, she needed to earn his trust back. Finally, Shepard sighed. "Fine. But you stay back and keep out of the way."

"I swear it."

With that, the airlock gave a loud bleep behind them, and the group began to file into the small compartment to begin decontamination. As they walked through, Joker's slightly panicked voice followed after them: "Seriously though, nobody's worried about the serrated sword of death sitting next to me?!"

Elaine walked in at the back of the group, eyes wide and curious behind her helmet. As they entered the Quarian ship – the one designated to house the trial – they were greeted by an armed guard and the ship's captain. A colourful menagerie of suits dazzled Elaine's gaze. Perhaps to an outsider it would be presumably difficult to distinguish each individual. But Elaine noted each different combination of colours, each pattern on the cloth, each mask, each voice. Every one of them was unique. The ship itself seemed clinical and impersonal, yet at the same time it felt… homey. Everything was set and stored to be for maximum use, nothing was there purely for aesthetic reasons. Yet on the walls there were writings, children's paintings. Here and there were touches of someone's life in the ship. From a small alcove seemingly made specifically for two lovers to sit, or one windowsill had a cloth draped across it for comfortable sitting.

Elaine was only brought back to the present when they finally learned of the extent of the accusations. Tali was charged with sending active Geth to the Fleet. Elaine tried to understand the significance, wracking her brain for any scant information she could remember about the Geth. They were like Golems, non-living bodies made of metal that had been given life. They were the enemies of the Quarians. Though Tali vehemently denied the accusations, even Shepard seemed surprised that she admitted to sending parts of Geth back to the Fleet. She explained it was for her father, who was undergoing a project of some kind and needed pieces for research. Something about it didn't seem right, but the Warden held her tongue.

They were told to go on ahead towards the garden plaza where the trial was to be held. The Captain spoke of a Shala'Raan waiting for them. As they turned the corner and headed towards the centre of the ship, a tall Quarian woman in a silver and brown-black suit waited for them. Her mask was a lighter purple than Tali's, her eyes a brighter silver. She held herself straight-backed and with a sense of authority in her shoulders.

When she spoke, the Quarian had a regal voice with a very thick accent, deepened with age. "Tali'Zorah vas Normandy," said the Quarian stranger, her tone warm and filled with affection. "I am glad you came. I could only delay them so long."

"Aunti Raan!" Tali sighed with relief and swept the older woman into an embrace like she would her own mother. Disengaging, Tali hurriedly urged her friends forward for introductions. "Shepard vas Normandy, Elaine, Garrus; this is Shala'Raan vas Tonbay. She's a friend of my father's." And then, something seemed to occur to Tali, something that made her shoulders tense and her voice be edged with worry. "Wait, Raan, you called me ' _vas Normandy'_?"

Shala'Raan bowed her head apologetically. "I'm afraid I did, Tali. The Admiralty moved to have you tried under that name, given your departure from the Neema."

"Why would the change in her name have such significance?" Elaine asked.

"They stripped me of my ship name," Tali said indignantly. "That's as good as declaring me exiled already!"

"It's not over yet, Tali," Shala'Raan soothed her gently. "You have friends that still know you as Tali'Zorah vas Neema… whatever we must call you legally."

"And that would be you?" Shepard asked. "You're an admiral, does that mean you're one of the judges?"

"I'm afraid not. My history with Tali and her father forced me to recuse myself."

Tali grumbled. "I imagine Father had to do the same."

Shala'Raan was quiet a moment. "You'll see inside, Tali. For my part, I moderate and ensure that the rules of protocol are followed, but I have no vote in judgement."

"Should we go in, then?" Shepard announced. "Does Tali have a defence councillor, or someone who speaks for her side?"

"Indeed she does… Captain Shepard." Shala'Raan nodded meaningfully at the human man. "She is part of your crew now, recognised by Quarian law. And remember, an accused is always represented by his or her ship's Captain."

Tali looked up at Shepard, twiddling her hands nervously. "So, err… you would actually be speaking in my defence."

"I'll do everything in my power to help you, Tali. I promise." He said without hesitation, his hand reaching up to squeeze her shoulder. Elaine caught the beam in Tali's eyes, the utter devotion she looked up at him with. It was at that moment that the Warden realised exactly what was going on.

"Our legal rules are simple," said Shala'Raan and Elaine's interest perked up. Shepard might've made the vow to help Tali, but Elaine didn't plan to sit on her arse either. "The charges will be laid, and you will have a chance to defend yourself. A small recess will then be held so that there is a chance for any new evidence to come forward. Then the Admirals shall render judgement. There are no legal tricks or political loopholes for you to worry about. Present the truth as best you can. It will have to be enough. Now come. I promised I would not delay you."

The Admiral led them through into a massive room. For a single moment, Elaine forgot she was inside a ship. Trees, plant life and all kinds of vegetation grew from every available surface. The Captain had called this the Garden Plaza, and what a garden it was. There was no breeze to rustle the leaves, making it seem as if the flowering shrubs and dense tree foliage were held still in time. They were so different, in shape, growth and colour from what Elaine expected. It was only when one caught a glimpse of the metal walls behind the creeping vines that you were reminded of the ship that contained this beautiful garden. Quarians were packed about the Plaza, perhaps hoping to see a glimpse of what was about to transpire. In the centre of the plaza was a small theatre-in-the-round. Steps led downward towards a main floor; seating encircled the main stage for the higherups of every ship in the fleet to watch. A stage was erected where three individuals stood opposite a fence where the defendant would stand behind.

At the edge of the Plaza, Tali hesitated. Her hands fiddled with themselves in fear, there was a slight tremble in her thighs. She looked about the room, searching for a specific face. When she didn't see it, she slumped, dejected. "Figures…"

"Looking for your father?" Elaine asked.

"He's probably confining himself to his flagship. Wouldn't want me to embarrass him further, I guess…"

Elaine stood beside her and took hold of her hand, giving it a firm squeeze. "You'll be fine," she whispered. "I won't let anything happen to you."

Shakily, Tali nodded. "Thanks, Elaine,"

Tali and Shepard descended into the plaza, murmurs arising amongst the crowd as they watched her pass. Garrus and Elaine held back, standing at the top of the stairs. Able to observe and hear everything that happened, yet unable to fully be part of it. Behind her helmet, Elaine's eyes were hard as she focused on the three judges. Shala'Raan went to stand at a platform raised behind the judges, so as to give her the ultimate authority as the mediator. From left to right: the first admiral was female, dressed in a mostly black suit with harsh metallic grey edgings. In the centre stood a male with red and warm yellow armour. And on the far right was a larger male, with more muscle growth as if he were a warrior, in a plain and simple silver suit.

"This conclave is brought to order." Shala'Raan announced and the hall hushed. "Blessed are the ancestors who kept us alive, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season. _Keelah se'lai_."

" _Keelah se'lai_." Echoed the crowd.

Elaine frowned. The proceedings and honouring of the ancestors reminded her of the Dwarvish Assembly. Yet that last phrase struck her and piqued her interest. Whilst Shala'Raan continued to make the formal announcements, Elaine leaned towards the turian beside her and whispered in a soft voice: "Garrus? What does _Keelah se'lai_ mean?"

"No clue." He murmured back. "One of those Quarian mysteries."

They both focused their attention back on the trial as Shala'Raan finally turned her attention to Tali. "The accused, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, has come with her captain to defend herself against the charge of treason."

"Objection!" exclaimed the admiral in the middle, holding a hand in the air. His voice was articulate and sounded almost upper-class in its annunciation. He pointed a finger at Shepard. "A human has no business at a hearing involving such sensitive military matters."

Before Shepard could counter, Shala'Raan curtly snapped back: "Then you should not have declared Tali crew of the Normandy, Admiral Koris. By right as Tali's captain, Shepard must stay."

Koris seemed to want to argue but saw the logic and hung his head. "Objection withdrawn."

"Shepard vas Normandy," Shala'Raan continued, "your crew member Tali'Zorah stands accused of treason. Will you speak for her?"

The human nodded and stepped forward. "If it helps Tali, I will. But I shouldn't have to. When Tali helped me stop Saren and his Geth army, her actions spoke for themselves. Without her, none of you would be alive today to charge her."

The warrior-Admiral on the far right nodded vigorously. "Well said, Shepard. None of us should forget Tali's contributions to the Fleet."

"Tali, you are accused of bringing live Geth aboard the Migrant Fleet." Said Shala'Raan. "What say you?"

"How could Tali bring back Geth to the Fleet when she's been serving on my ship?" Shepard asked.

"To clarify, Shepard," said the female admiral on the left, her voice filled with veiled disdain and boredom as if this entire situation was beneath her. "Tali isn't accused of bringing back active units – only parts that could spontaneously reactivate."

Whilst the back and forth between the Admirals and Shepard on the specifics of the charges took place, Elaine once again leaned closer to Garrus to have him clarify for her. "How can pieces of metal spontaneously come to life?"

"Geth are good at fixing themselves; and replicating more of themselves through any machinery available. It's why it's so important to make sure they're dead." Was all he said.

"They're going hard on her," Elaine murmured after a moment as she and Garrus watched the continued accusations in silence. It sort of made her stomach turn a little how distant the turian seemed to be from her.

And then he gave her a glimmer of hope by turning his helmet in her direction. The glass covering his eyes was so dark she couldn't make out anything beyond it, but when he spoke, his voice was warm and with a smile, just like it used to be. "Have a little faith. Shepard'll get the job done. He always does."

"Nice to see that you're talking to me again," she murmured. With a sigh, the Warden realised that she needed to address the Ogre in the room. "Garrus, about what happened down in the–"

"It's okay, Elaine," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. As if with every word they spoke, he too seemed to relax into how they used to be. Had this issue been playing on his mind too, and he was just good at covering it up? "Things just got a little carried away. So long as we're still friends, right?"

"Of course, we are. I was just afraid I'd made you uncomfortable and–"

"You don't ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable, tough girl. There's nobody I respect more than you."

"What about Shepard?"

"Probably you two tie for the top." He mused. "Shepard appeals to the side of me that wants to see the bad-guys punished, to protect the galaxy by being head first in the line of fire. With Shepard, I feel like nothing can stop us. But with you? You make me wanna be better, you make me want not just justice, but _peace_. With you, I feel like nothing is impossible."

Elaine was left a little breathless at his words. A warm feeling bloomed inside her chest, and she wanted nothing more than to be able to feel his hand that still rested on her shoulder. Words were on the tip of her tongue, wanting to be spoken, but she had no idea what they were. For some reason her stomach buzzed with nerves. Nodding, she drew away from him and tried to bring her focus back onto the trial. She had absolutely no idea what was coming over her, and it frightened her slightly, but at least she and Garrus were still friends. Now, she just had to focus on saving her other friend down there in the trial.

"But I would never send active Geth to the Fleet!" Tali pleaded, an ever-so-slight tremble of fear in her shoulders. "Everything I sent was disabled and harmless!"

Admiral Koris leaned over his railing to fix her with a hard look of his bright silver eyes. "Then explain how Geth seized the lab ship where your father was working!"

A gasp rippled through the crowd. Elaine and Garrus froze. What had he just said? Tali looked equally confused, her gaze darting between each Admiral in mounting panic. "What are you talking about? What happened!"

"As far as we can tell, Tali," The warrior-admiral said, voice apologetic. "The Geth have killed everyone on the Alarei… your father included."

"What?! Oh, _Keelah_ …"

Elaine's eyes darted to Shala'Raan and glared at the oddly mute Quarian in the face of this revelation. Shepard as well grew furious, one hand on Tali's shoulder for comfort, even as he shouted at the Admirals. "I thought Quarians valued family! How do you justify springing this on Tali in the middle of a damn trial?"

Finally, Shala'Raan spoke: "Our apologies. Tali should have been informed."

"Shepard," Tali said, turning in the commander's arm to look up into his face. "We have to take back the Alarei!"

"The safest course would be to simply destroy the ship," Admiral Koris said. "But if you are looking for an honourable death instead of exile…"

Like a wild animal, Tali suddenly turned on the Admiral's, almost launching herself at them as she snarled: "I'm looking for my father, you _Bosh'tet_!"

"You intend to retake the Alarei from the Geth?" Shala'Raan asked. "This proposal is extremely dangerous."

"It seems you lot aren't doing any better at taking it back." Shepard spat. "And Tali needs to find her father."

With that, the trial was put on recess to allow Tali time to retake the lost ship. It would only continue if she returned, or the Admirals decided that she had been killed in action. Elaine remembered what Tali had told her, of the Quarians that had given their lives to right their mistakes and were only pardoned after death. She hoped that that wouldn't be Tali's fate. She and Shepard returned to Elaine and Garrus, the Warden giving her Quarian friend a few words of support, and once again reaffirming her promise that she would do everything in her power to help. At Shepard's look, Elaine once again gave her promise that she wouldn't go with them into combat. Whilst Shepard spoke with Garrus about the best course of action about boarding the Alarei, Elaine pulled Tali to one side and had her explain the various Admirals to her.

Soon after, it was time for them to leave. Tali was too furious to say goodbye, and instead marched over to Shala'Raan for a shouting match. Elaine didn't blame the young Quarian. Shala'Raan said she was like family to the girl yet refused to inform her of her father's suspected death until she heard it in the trial? The Admiral seemed sympathetic yet unapologetic for her actions. To her, this needed to be done. When it seemed like they wouldn't get anywhere with this, Shepard hurried Tali along and the three of them went out towards the shuttle bay. Elaine watched them leave, completely unphased by the looks she was receiving from all the Quarians noting the lone alien in their midst. Once Shepard and the others were completely out of sight, Elaine spun on her heel and immediately got to work.

It would be too obvious to approach the two admirals who's views of the trial were clear as day. Admiral Koris was set against Tali, and the warrior-admiral (whom Tali said was Admiral Garrel) was her ally. No, it was the female, Admiral Xen, that was the wildcard in this picture. She would need to be talked to first before anyone else could and potentially change her mind. Admiral Xen was stood alone in a corner of the plaza, thumbing through her omni-tool and the notes she had stashed there. She noticed Elaine's approach and put the tool away, arms crossed and watching the human with an air of aloofness.

"Is there something I can do for you, human?" she asked in a voice that reminded Elaine achingly of Morrigan's. "Are you not to join your fellow crewmates on the Alarei?"

Best foot forward, the Warden introduced herself. "Elaine Cousland, Admiral Xen. And no, I am only here simply to support Tali. I've been told that my skill set is not apt enough to counter Geth."

"Then given your affiliation with the accused and the current circumstances, are you certain that speaking to me is appropriate?"

It was at times like this that Elaine didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing for her face to be hidden by a helmet. On one hand, her foe could not see any tells that might accidentally give away her poker-face. On the other hand, without someone able to see her face, they couldn't be subject to sweet smiles, innocent eyes or any other multitude of expressions that might seal a deal. All Elaine had left to work with, was her voice and her words. And lucky for her, she happened to be very good with both. "I don't intend to bribe you in the middle of the crowded plaza, Admiral. I wish to learn more about the politics of this issue. And why Tali is being scrutinised over such a trivial thing."

"My thoughts exactly." Xen nodded, immediately jumping on Elaine's suspicion that she didn't much care for this trial. "If Tali and her father were actually testing on active Geth subjects, then they are simply idiots. No reason to waste resources on a trial. If not, then this was a tragic accident in the pursuit of a higher cause. Again, no trial is needed to determine that."

"If you take such offence at the trial, why are you here?"

"And let the aging warship Han'Garrel and the cowardly Zal'Korris be the ones to chart this course? I think not," she scoffed. "The broader purpose underlying the trial is too important. Tali'Zorah is only peripherally related."

"Then what is its true purpose?"

"To determine whether Quarians should fear their past mistakes or reclaim their glory using our natural affinity for Artificial Intelligence."

That made Elaine pause a moment. This was the moment where she would find something of use, she knew it. When Tali had spoken of the Geth before, it was always with a tone of hatred and bitterness, and from the looks of it, most other Quarians shared the sentiment. So Admiral Xen must hold her differing opinions in high regard. "You wish to create new machine-servants?"

"No. I wish to return the Geth to the control of their rightful masters, the Quarian race!"

 _Got you!_ Elaine thought. "And you believe Rael might've learned something of value – _if_ he was experimenting on Geth."

"Indeed. If he has, then even in this accident we may find something worthwhile."

"From what I've learned, most Quarians fear the Geth, they see them as a mistake. I doubt your opinion is shared."

"Yes, at least on the admiralty board." Xen muttered. "Han'Garrel sees an enemy that must be crushed. Zaal'Koris would rather run away and hide on some new colony world. Shala'Raan is still undecided. I had thought Rael'Zorah to be firmly in Han's camp, but if his experiments were on active Geth, perhaps we have ideas in common."

"And if Rael is not alive?" the admiral was divulging a lot of information in her rush to disdainfully remark on her associates. No reason for the Warden to not take advantage of it.

"The power balance will be disrupted. Han loses a vote for his foolish and self-destructive war. That would favour peace then, as Shala'Raan is too careful to risk her own neck. But if the admiral replacing Rael agrees with me… things could get interesting."

"Well, like you say, it all depends on the Admiral that will replace Rael'Zorah." Elaine knew Xen's type. She thought herself to be so clever that if Elaine gave her an offer or outright told her of her supposed plan, then she would scoff in her face. No, this type of woman needed to come to the desired conclusion herself, to believe it was her idea. "Someone whom the Quarian people respect, someone who they look up to, someone who has given their people a great example to follow…"

Xen caught on perhaps a little too quickly as her shining eyes narrowed suspiciously on the human. "Indeed…"

"Don't worry, Admiral Xen. I know for a fact that Shepard will find something aboard the Alarei. He looks into every nook and cranny, every terminal, every log. He will find something. Whether that will be information of value is anyone's guess. But he will find it."

"I see."

If she pushed any further, she would lose the prey. Elaine decided it was a good moment to excuse herself and let Admiral Xen ruminate on what they'd discussed. Instead, she made her way over towards the next Admiral on her list, Admiral Garrel, who Tali described as being in charge of the Heavy-Fleet, the soldiers of the Flotilla. He was in Tali's favour, so he wouldn't need to take much convincing, but he still needed to be spoken to. Back during the Landsmeet, Elaine had known many of the nobles that had come to attend, and also known that it was likely they would turn on Loghain. However, she had still gone out of her way to assure their loyalty. You could never have faith when it came to politics. Everything needed to be cemented in deals and favours and good business.

"Human," Admiral Garrel nodded to her in greeting when she came before him. "I hope Admiral Xen didn't talk your ear off with all her technical babble,"

Elaine chuckled softly, as if she were sheepish that he'd caught her doing just that. "I wanted to thank you, Admiral Garrel, for being supportive of Tali in this trial."

"Well, of course," he said as if this should be obvious. "Rael'Zorah and I have been long-time friends. I'm glad Admiral Raan got Tali leave to hit the Alarei. Hopefully she and Shepard will find something that clears her name."

"How long have you known Tali's father?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"We served together on the gunship Yaska during a bad Batarian raid. We were kids, serving pre-pilgrimage as trainees. Out of a crew of ten, six were dead, kinetic barriers were down, and Rael and I were alone on the bridge when the Batarians had drawn off a tramp freighter."

"Did you save it?"

"Our ship was under orders to hold position. But Rael looked at me and said: _'We're under age, they can't charge us for breaking formation'_. He took the helm, I took weapons, and we brought that freighter back. The crew called us heroes. The Brass called us idiots. They slapped medals on our suits and then kicked us off to pilgrimage a bit earlier than usual. That's Rael for you,"

He talked to Elaine, reciting stories as if she were a niece that needed these childhood stories recited to her. Elaine played along with his easy nature. Sad inflection entered her voice, as if she were disappointed with him at the situation, as she said: "And do you honestly believe Rael and his daughter would commit treason?"

Admiral Garrel sighed. "If Tali was only giving Rael inactive equipment for weapons tests, I've got no problem. We _need_ to test weapons against Geth material. People like Rael and Tali put too much of themselves into this fleet to do anything to jeopardise our safety. And they're both too smart to make mistakes like the ones they're saying they made."

"You seem sure of the fact Rael was only testing weapons. Did he tell you that? For old times sakes?"

"He mentioned something a few weeks back," Garrel spoke slowly, like he had an inkling that he was saying something he probably shouldn't. "He was looking for something to give us an edge when we attack the Geth in full scale war. It was our dream – to finally be the ones to take back our homeworld. We almost had the votes. We just need to give people hope for victory."

For some reason, this man's wish for war against 'the enemy' reminded Elaine a little too much of Loghain. "From what I understand, the Geth are highly dangerous and highly advanced. I wouldn't be so quick to go to war."

"And if Rael found something that could let us _win_ that war?" he demanded, almost affronted.

"Would it be worth it to him if his best friend let his daughter be the scape-goat?"

Her biting words rendered him silent. Leaving him with that stab of guilt, she swept away. Two admirals down, one to go. For the last and final target, Admiral Koris, Elaine steeled herself until her outward façade could've almost been iron-clad. She didn't want her passion to protect her companions hinder her from making rational moves in the Great Game. Especially when she knew Admiral Koris would be the hardest one to turn. He was standing amidst a small group of other Quarians, probably from his side of the fleet, where Tali said he was in charge of their civilian ships. One of these Quarians saw her coming, and so pointed her out to the Admiral. He turned to give her his full attention, and Elaine was surprised when he didn't tell her to go away right then and there.

"Judging by your Commander's ability to play to a crowd, human, I have done Tali a favour by stripping _vas Neema_ from her name." he said haughtily.

Elaine was sure to keep a smile on her face and in her voice, even if her words were as scathing as his. "And yet, you meant it as an insult. You wanted to give her the worst starting chance possible."

And then, Admiral Koris completely surprised her when he stepped forward and spoke to her softly, sadly, as if he were pained. "I take no pleasure in doing this to Tali, truly. Do not think me vindictive or petty in this. I am simply trying to do my duty. She has gravely endangered and dishonoured our fleet."

"In what capacity? Tali admitted to sending pieces of Geth but not enough to be a danger to others."

"The last transmissions we had with the Alarei were from its dying crew, being slaughtered by creatures in pain." He told her with a hint of grief, as if he had been the one to personally hear those messages. "I think that belies her argument."

Again, Elaine was taken off guard by the Admirals words, more specifically his choice of words. "Creatures in pain?"

"The Geth that Rael'Zorah must've been experimenting on."

"Interesting. The other Admirals refer to the Geth as unfeeling machines."

"Of course they would," he muttered disappointedly. "The other admirals are pushing for war. Han'Garrel wants a fight, pure and simple. He doesn't care about the lives that will be lost to it. Daro'Xen wishes to try out her new toys to bring the Geth under her control. And Rael'Zorah and his daughter are doing everything in their power – indirectly or otherwise – to help them!"

"Is that why you dislike Tali so much?"

Her accusation took the wind out of his sails, and once more he calmed to speak softly, measuredly. "No, you misunderstand. I respect Tali immensely. Her actions against Saren are to be lorded. But, like her father, she wants nothing but the destruction of the Geth. The people we created. The people we wronged."

Either this man was one of the best players of the Game Elaine had ever seen, or he genuinely was a man that under other circumstances she would've befriended in an instant. He was compassionate, wanted to keep his people safe, and most importantly he wanted to do what he thought was right. Elaine decided to match his gentle tones, to try and coax a better answer out of him. "Admiral, I may be Tali's friend. But I am not without empathy or understanding. Tell me."

"The Geth were created by us, human. They are our children. We have all done horrible things to each other, but it has to end. For both groups. That is why I cannot sanction whatever experiments Tali'Zorah helped enable."

"Even after they took your home from you? Tali told me the Geth rebelled against the Quarian people and drove you into exile."

"Of course they did… We tried to kill them – for simply existing." He glanced to the ground, and shook his head. "I don't hate Tali. I just think her father's plans for war were wrong. And I believe this message needs to be sent."

"Even if that message means letting a girl be ripped away from the people she obviously loves?"

"She endangered them when she–"

"When all she did was do as her father asked of her." Elaine pressed, and finally Koris regarded her as if her words had taken him by surprise. Despite the fact that she knew better, Elaine allowed her own emotions, her own experiences to seep through, to implore the man before her. "Surely you can understand the need to impress someone like that. To make him say he's proud of her. You'd do anything for him."

"Rael'Zorah was testing weapons against the Geth," Koris said, but his conviction on the matter was faltering, as if he were trying to remind himself of why he should be so upset. "By doing so, he was endorsing a war that his friend Han'Garrel obviously wanted. They would see our fleet destroyed in the skies of our homeworld rather than find a new colony and adapt."

"Then punish Rael'Zorah, if he is alive. Punish Tali further and all you will do is create more animosity for your Geth-appeasement," she snapped, and then forced herself to calm. "I know how difficult it is. Having an opinion that vastly differs from the norm. But people change over time, as do their opinions. People like Tali could be greatly advantageous to your cause if given the chance."

Koris snorted at that. "Tali is too much like her father. She hates the Geth for their crimes against us whilst ignoring our crimes against them."

"I can be a persuasive person – after all, I just convinced the other admirals of Tali's innocence."

"You _what_!?" he choked.

She didn't give him time to let his shock gain momentum. "Think of it – the Quarian who helped save the galaxy from Saren, the Quarian who's going to help save the galaxy from the Collectors… her voice will carry weight, Admiral Koris. The question is: would you rather her voice be silent or on your side?"

With that, she left him and made her way back towards the edges of the plaza. She needed to let her prey stew on their thoughts alone. And now she need to await Shepard and the others to return. She wished she were there with them, but unfortunately she'd made a promise. The itch for combat, the need to do something made her muscles burn, a restlessness made her want to pace. How frustrating to be reduced to this state!

"Excuse me!" sounded a voice, loud enough to be heard over the general din of the crowd. Elaine turned in time to see a small Quarian boy push his way through the throng of people towards her. His suit was black and his helmet a light purple – much like Tali's.

Behind him, another Quarian in a bright red suit hurried after him, as if he meant to catch him before he could get near Elaine. But too late. "No wait, kid…"

"Yes? How may I help you?" Elaine asked cautiously as the two approached her. The younger one seemed nervous, almost jittery as he came to stand before her.

"Sorry, Ma'am," sighed the older one. "Name's Kal'Reegar of the Migrant Fleet Marines. This here is Veetor'Nara."

"You spoke to the Admirals," Veetor stuttered, his voice laced with desperation. "Will they convict Tali'Zorah?"

Elaine eyed them both. She knew Tali had mention Kal'Reegar before, hadn't Kasumi mentioned Tali might have a crush on him? He must be an ally then. Yet still she was careful. "You seem to care for her a great deal. Both of you."

"Sure," Reegar nodded. "I served with Tali on Haestrom. Couldn't ask for a finer commander. And all that she's done for this Fleet? My respect for her is without limit."

"And Tali saved me, o-on Freedom's Progress, on my Pilgrimage." Said Veetor.

Was it right to do this? Elaine thought for a moment. To use their worry over their friend against them for own advantage? Perhaps Tali might not like it, but Elaine realised that she'd do anything in a heartbeat for the sake of her friend. "You both want to know what will happen to Tali?" she asked, and the pair of them nodded. Placing her hands on their shoulders, Elaine spoke to them imploringly. "It'll take voices like yours. The Admirals are more worried about their public images than Tali. You need to let them know how you feel about this."

Slowly, the pair nodded. They spoke with Elaine for a little longer, asking general questions about Tali and how she was doing aboard the Normandy and when she might be coming home. Elaine found it rather endearing that these two were so concerned for the unsuspecting Quarian woman. When Shepard and the others finally returned, Elaine excused herself from Veetor and Reegar's company to greet them. One look at Tali, however, and she knew something was dreadfully wrong. She almost ran to her friend, who upon seeing her immediately swept her up into a tight embrace. By the small hitches in her breathing and the way she was desperately holding back tears, Elaine did not need to be told what had happened. Garrus and Shepard, accompanied by no other survivors, said it all. Tali's father was dead. The Warden held onto her dear friend and offered her whatever support she could. Tali didn't want to completely lose her self-control, especially since with her return, people were starting to resume their places for the trial.

This time, Elaine didn't want to leave Tali's side. She stood right beside her to offer what moral support she could as Shepard resumed his place front and centre at the railing looking up at the gathered Admirals. Each of the Admirals cast wary glances at Elaine, their gazes filled with their own individual thoughts. Long ago, the Cousland family had mastered the art of appearing unreadable whilst still somehow giving their victim a pointed look. She unashamedly used that trick on the Admirals now.

"This hearing will be brought to order," Shala'Raan announced and the room fell silent. "Now, Captain Shepard? What news?"

Shepard spread his arm to Tali, indicating to her for all the crowd to see. "Tali just helped save the Alarei. I hope this proves her loyalty to the Quarian people."

"Her loyalty was never in doubt," said Admiral Koris. "Only her judgement."

"Perhaps Tali'Zorah can offer something to encourage more trust in her judgement?" suggested Shala'Raan in a more leading tone.

Admiral Garrel's voice was tinged with grief as he spoke. "Did you find anything on the Alarei that could clarify what happened there? What happened to Rael?"

A moment of silence stretched on too long. Elaine glanced over to Shepard, and found him looking to Tali. Some kind of silent conversation was passing between them, and Elaine felt uneasy at the fact that she didn't know what. Obviously, something was up, but could that jeopardise everything she'd built here in their absence? Subtly, Tali shook her head. The Commander didn't seem best pleased by it, and strode ahead to rest his palms on the railing.

"Shepard, please…" Tali begged in a whisper.

"Does Captain Shepard have new evidence to submit to this hearing?" asked Shala'Raan.

There was another moment of pause, and then Shepard said: "Tali's achievements are the only evidence you should need." Turning, he beckoned to his squadmates to follow as he marched up the stairs. "Come on, Tali. We're leaving."

"What?!" Shala'Raan exclaimed in horror.

Admiral Koris blustered with outrage. "This is a formal proceeding!"

"Wrong, Admiral! This is a sham!" Shepard shouted as he spun back to fix the Admirals with a furious scowl. "Do whatever you want with your toy ships. But leave my crew out of your political bullshit!"

"Will that be your final word on the matter, Commander?" Admiral Xen snapped peevishly. "If so, then we shall give our verdict–"

"Wait!" suddenly cried a voice. From within the crowd, people exclaimed as someone pushed towards the front. Suddenly Veetor shoved his way into the trial, with Reegar at his heels. The young boy looked panicked at the Admirals. "Tali saved me, she doesn't deserve to be exiled!"

"Damn straight!" agreed Reegar. "Tali's done more for this fleet than you assholes ever will! You're pissing on everything I've fought for – everything Tali's fought for!" the crowd began to murmur their agreement. Reegar glared up at the judges, and stood tall. "So, if you exile her… you might as well do the same to me."

"Me too." Said Veetor.

Elaine did her best to hide her smile. Even as all around her, cries of outrage, of agreement, of arguing erupted on all sides. The Quarian people were going crazy to have their opinions heard. Tali looked all around her, bewildered at such reaction on her behalf. Elaine cast her subtle smile to the Admirals, as if to say: _You see?_

"Are the Admirals prepared to render their judgement?" Shala'Raan announced. First, she turned to the Heavy Fleet Admiral. "Han'Garrel vas Neema?"

Admiral Garrel hesitated. He looked to Elaine, who watched him with hard and accusing eyes. The guilt was clear in his voice as he bowed his head. "I… I deem the accused 'not-guilty'. It is clear she had no intention of any wrong doing."

"Daro'Xen vas Moreh?"

"Considering the fact that we have no sufficient evidence to convict," said Xen without delay, "I deem the accused 'not-guilty'."

"And Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib?"

Admiral Koris paused momentarily. He gaze upon Tali for what felt like the longest time, his eyes searching her face for something. She looked back up at him openly, unable to stop her hands fiddling with nerves. Finally, he sighed. "In light of Tali'Zorah's history of service… I find her to be 'not-guilty'."

Elaine smiled. The room erupted in cheers. Tali almost sank to the floor as the relief made her legs boneless.

"Tali'Zorah, you are cleared of all charges," Shala'Raan announced with warmth and pride. "Commander Shepard? Please accept these gifts in appreciation for taking the time to represent one of our people."

Shepard immediately waved it away. "With all due respect, Admiral, I didn't represent one of _your_ people. I represented one of _mine_."

And then it was over! Tali was immediately swept up in Quarians coming to congratulate her, from her old Captain to Reegar and Veetor. Elaine beamed to watch Tali be applauded by so many people. Shepard was spoken to by a few of the Admirals, mostly Raan to once again thank him. Quietly, the Warden extracted herself from the joyous occasion and stood in the doorway to the plaza, looking onto all the scene with the same pleasure an artist might look upon their finished painting. At some point, Shepard also managed to pull himself away from all the people trying to speak with him and came to join her in the secluded spot.

She couldn't help her triumphant smile. "Looks like everything turned out alright in the end."

"Yeah…" he murmured and cast her a glance. "I hear I've got you to thank for that."

"I wasn't going to let my friends down."

Shepard smiled at that, a real and genuine smile that touched his eyes. It actually worried Elaine for a moment. Hand on her shoulder, he gave her what she could only describe as a pat-on-the-back. "Your heart is always in the right place, isn't it, Elaine?" And right before she could bask in this emotional moment with him, his eyes toughened, and he pointed a finger at her. "Don't get me wrong, I still think we have to do the tough shit that needs doing. And that's something we might disagree on… But I still respect that your gut is still in it."

"Are you…?" Elaine trailed off, hardly daring to believe her luck.

"Guess I am." He shrugged. "So long as you have my back, you're welcome back on the ground team."

She grinned.

* * *

After all the congratulations, apologies and condolences for her loss, Tali managed to finally extract herself out from the crowd of people around her. Raan had wanted to speak with her before she left, she was like a second mother to Tali after all, but she couldn't muster the will to talk yet. The hurt of her father's death was still fresh on her soul, and in some childish way she kind-of blamed Raan for that pain. Not telling her about her father's death until she was in the trial was just wrong. What if Raan had told her straight away and Tali had gone to the Alarei earlier? What if she could've found her father sooner? What if that precious time could've saved him?

 _What if_ … such things were not worth thinking about now. All they would do was drive her mad. She'd spent too many years wondering what if. What if her mother had never died? What if her father had known how to love her properly? What if she could've made him say _I'm proud_ , just once? Now there was no time for what if. All of it had been snatched away by the Geth. Just one more thing they'd taken from her.

But enough of that now, she thought. Now was a time for to feel relief for a little while. Let the grief and anger come in tonight when she was in her bunk and could vent alone. By some miracle, she'd managed to stay a part of the Fleet, avoided exile, and managed to keep the memory of her father intact. And it was all thanks to one man. Glancing up at the top of the stairs near the edge of the plaza, she saw Shepard waiting for her, going over a report or something on his omni-tool whilst he waited. Tali couldn't stop the way her heart fluttered or the smile that tugged at the edge of her lips. When she and Shepard had found the evidence that would have proven her innocence but damned her father, Tali had been adamant that it be destroyed. Shepard had argued with her incessantly. To him, it didn't matter what happened to anyone else, so long as she was alright. He wouldn't allow her to sacrifice herself for her father's failed project. And yet, despite his protests, he still trusted her, did as she asked.

He was truly a man unlike any other she'd ever known. For one moment, she thought maybe he might see past the mask she wore and see her just like he would any other woman. Her stomach did flips at the thought. Slowly, she made her way towards him, a nervous hesitancy in her stride. Shepard put away his omnitool as she drew near, and through his helmet she could see his dark eyes shining with pride at her.

"I can't believe you pulled that off… what you said…" Tali said gently, unsure at first what to say. "Thank you for being there for my father and me, even when… Thank you."

"Tali, about what your father said, what he did," Shepard looked away, guilt in his eyes. He took her hands in his and gently squeezed them. It sent a thrill through her flesh, his kindness making her eyes water. "You deserved better."

"I got better, Shepard. I got you." She squeezed his fingers back. An urge was building at the back of her throat, as if she would puke if she didn't get it out. "After everything we've been through, I…"

Was now the right time to say something? Maybe her emotions from the day had gone to her head… No. She knew what she was doing. She needed to express to him just what he meant to her. How everything he did made her feel, how much she appreciated it all – appreciated him. There would be no going back from this, but she needed to let it be known.

"I just wanted to tell you that I…" Even when she was certain she wanted to do this, the words still stuck in her throat, and her insides quivered with fear. " _Keelah_ , you'd think after facing the Admirals, this would seem easier. I guess what I want to say, James, is that you're a man unlike any other I've ever known."

Shepard's eyes grew wide as he suddenly realised where this was going. She couldn't look at him though, not in those eyes she'd come to regard as so beautiful. Pulling his hands up towards her mask, she leant the cool glass against his gloves, like she'd seen in the old vids where she might kiss them. For a moment, she wished she didn't have to wear this damned suit, that she could feel his skin pressed against hers.

"You've been there for me when no one else has," she whispered. "And I've come to – well, I mean, I care for you, a great deal. And I-I know we're very different, but I hope maybe… one day… you might be able to see past _this_." And she pressed her mask into his hands.

"Tali," Shepard said in a gentle sigh. Slowly, he pulled his hands out of her grasp, and placed them on her shoulders, looking her in the eye. "You know I'd do anything for you. You're a good friend. You're one of the few people I trust implicitly. But this… I'm sorry, Tali, but I…"

Quickly, she tried to hide the way his words hit her stomach like a dirty-punch, or the way her heart was shattering into a thousand pieces. She wanted to crawl away and die somewhere, but his hold on her kept her in place. She couldn't look him in the eye, couldn't keep the bitterness out of her voice. "It's Liara, isn't it."

"Yeah." He sighed. Damn her, Tali thought. She'd always known Shepard and Liara had been an item on the first Normandy, but the way the asari had acted since Shepard came back… She'd deluded herself into believing Shepard had ended it. His next words proved how utterly wrong she was. "I love her, Tali. I've always loved her… I'm sorry."

"N-no, no, it's okay, I just…" She had to take a breath when her breathing threatened to give away the fact that she was close to tears. Anything to distract the mood, to get away, she put on a chipper tone and tried to pull away. "C-come on, let's get back to the Normandy. I need to… go."

The moment she was free of his hands, she turned around and marched away. She told herself she was moving on. In her heart, she knew she was running away.


	30. The Hunt

Shepard just wanted a shower as he drearily endured the elevator ride to his cabin. This must be a week for shitty fathers, he thought to himself. First Tali, and now, not even a few days after, he'd just dealt with Jacob's. It was natural to understand why Jacob wanted to be left alone right now – after finding out your father is monster who tried to play god, took advantage of women and murdered people so as to run his own kingdom… yeah, it sucked. It was times like this that Shepard would almost half-joke with himself to be glad he didn't have a father. Or any parent for that matter.

Unfortunately, that desperately-needed shower remained just out of reach as his terminal pinged loudly when he entered the cabin. Incoming call. Shit. Probably the Illusive Man. Shepard sighed, and grouchily stomped to the terminal and switched it on. Might as well get this over with.

When the face that filled the vid-screen was not the creepy Cerberus boss, but was instead belonging to the Queen of Omega, Shepard was a little surprised. "Aria?"

 _"_ _Who else?"_ she said with her usual stare of indifference. In the background, Shepard could hear the low bass of Afterlife's music, but it was dimmed, as if Aria was taking the call in a private office, maybe? _"I've got a little job for you, Shepard."_

Shepard crossed his arms and leaned back on hip. Damn it, was it Patriarch again? "Your thugs can't handle this one either?"

 _"_ _This is something that requires a certain finesse, you might say. I'm holding a little soiree here in Afterlife in the next few days. The leaders from the biggest merc bands will be attending, one of which is getting on my nerves. I need you to take him out."_

"You're having a party… and you want me to kill one of the guests?" Shepard asked slowly. "If this is a joke, I really don't have the patience to work out the punchline right now."

 _"_ _No joke. We've worked together before, Shepard. I don't see why this can't benefit both of us now. You do this for me, and I give you something in return. Plus, I think you'll want this son of a bitch dead as much as I do."_

"Why can't you take him out?"

Aria rolled her eyes, annoyed as ever by his probing questions. The Asari Crime-Queen was more used to having people jump at a snap of her fingers. The Commander liked being out of her control, and she hated it. _"Because he's merely an annoyance. He's not crossed the line just yet but he's pissing me off. I know what he's up to, but I can't make a move without turning the other merc leaders against me. Lately, he's got his fingers in a lot of pies."_

"What do I get?"

And she held up something to dangle in front of the camera. A flash of silver caught Shepard's attention and bolt of unease speared him when he recognised them as dog-tags. Smirking at his reaction, Aria delicate held up the tags to read. _"Charles Pressly. What a nice name."_

Shepard suddenly couldn't breathe. It was hard to swallow, and he struggled to form a steady response. "Where… where did you get those?"

 _"_ _Recently, the merc's been digging around an old crash site. I believe you know the planet. Alchera?"_ she said the name almost in a nonchalant manner, but she knew exactly what it was doing to the human. Shepard's heart was pounding. He felt like he was going to be sick as memories assaulted his mind. Aria's smirk widened; she knew she had him. _"I'll leave it up to you to think of all the trouble he could cause if he managed to sell any salvageable tech from your precious SR1. See? Killing him doesn't help just me. It helps you too."_

* * *

The Normandy swiftly arrived at Omega, and within the hour Shepard had quickly disappeared to handle his new mission. The rest of the crew had been given leave to resupply and spend what little time they had for some R&R. Shepard only wanted them to stay for twenty-four hours maximum, so the opportunity to have a little fun was precious.

Samara, however, did not see things as her other crewmates did. Whilst many of the others were out amongst Omega's dangerous streets doing what they pleased, the Justicar found herself patrolling. It was quite by accident, she at first meant to merely explore, get a feel for the station's daily workings through observation. And during that time, she saw much. Misery, injustice, petty crime and others, the entire place reeked of dishonour. The Justicar made a small vow to herself as she wandered, that should she survive Shepard's mission, and after her daughter had been found and slain, she would come to this place and do everything in her power to hunt the wicked that stalked these streets. Considering the abundance of criminals and villains here, it would be good hunting.

Walking down one of the industrial ports, Samara passively glanced upon the ships that were coming in and out. Above her, a news announcer spoke the daily news across the station: _"Further proof of the Alliance's incompetence has recently come to light,"_ said the Batarian voice, _"The murder of one of their chief Admirals is still under investigation, but sources now claim that new evidence has been turned up…"_

The Justicar walked on. Another three hundred yards and she witnessed a Vorcha attempt to rob a human woman and her infant son. With one wave of her biotics, she smashed the Vorcha's skull into the wall and left him for dead. She moved on, never having to even allow a pause in her stride. Through the news broadcast, another voice interrupted for an announcement: _"May all personnel for the SMV Demeter please report to docking bay F12. Departure is in 30 minutes."_

Samara halted. SMV Demeter. She knew that name. It was the name Shepard and Elaine had recovered for her. The one that had smuggled her daughter off of Illium.

On the spot, Samara turned and sprinted back through the station. When obstacles or lack of speed got in her way, her biotics helped to give her the push she needed. She had to find Shepard. Morinth could be here right now! She was so close, the end of this ordeal was in sight, and it needed to be finished now. She found Shepard exiting Afterlife and heading back towards the Normandy, still in his armour, a scowl on his face. Whatever the owner of Afterlife had told him, it obviously didn't sit well with him.

"Commander Shepard," Samara said as she arrived at his side. The Commander gave her a look but still carried on waling. "I am in need of your help. You remember the criminal I was tracking on Illium? I have discovered that the ship she left on has arrived here. She is on Omega. I request that you help me find and kill her."

Shepard groaned. "God, it just _had_ to be now. Didn't it." With a sigh, he turned back to the Justicar. "Look, Samara, I understand this is important to you, but I currently don't have the time right now. I'll get to it as soon as I can, but I'm afraid it's going to have to wait."

He left, disappearing back into the ship, talking to EDI about making a few arrangements. Samara gazed after him, disappointed. She'd thought he would help. But why would he? There were few she had entrusted the true nature of this mission to, and one of those was Elaine, not the commander.

A spark of an idea ignited in the asari's mind. It made her deliberate for a moment. She had sworn an oath to serve Shepard, so as not to choose between him and the code. He had ordered her to wait. But Samara didn't think she had the kind of time to spare. If Morinth was here, right now, she could be setting up her new hunting grounds or she could be preparing to flee again to be sure she had lost her pursuers. Samara had the opportunity right now to stop her daughter before she took another victim. And larger than the oath she'd sworn to Shepard was the reason she had vowed to become a Justicar in the first place. Her call to action was here and now, and she would be betraying the code if she did not take it. Besides, she thought, she could take a page from a book belonging to some of her mischievous crewmates and say that Shepard didn't specify _how long_ she should wait…

It was time to get the help of someone more like-minded.

* * *

Considering they were at new station, Elaine wanted the chance to explore. Jacob had already asked her to join him at a tavern he called ' _Afterlife_ ' for drinks. She'd told him she'd think about it. The man had seemed a little disappointed, thinking it to be a complete refusal, but had tried to cover it with a smile and said he would be holding a seat for her. Elaine pitied him. The man had just discovered his father after ten years, and was still reeling over it. He'd been a little withdrawn in the two days since his mission, and he probably needed a stiff drink tonight to forget his father's shame. Elaine decided to give him some space for a while, then. In all honesty, she'd heard a lot about this place, Omega, and she wanted to see it for herself. After everything Garrus had said about this place, including other comments from the others, Elaine was expecting a pit of lawlessness and poverty similar to what she'd seen in Dust-Town. So she wasn't going to be a complete idiot and go out unarmed.

On her way out, Elaine passed by Tali as the Quarian was returning from the mess hall. She noticed immediately how her friend was almost hunched over, her usually bright silver eyes dimmed and her voice quiet in greeting. Elaine's heart twisted for the young woman. She was still mourning over the loss of her father, and the Warden could understand how that felt. Once they'd returned from the Migrant Fleet, Tali had shut herself away for a couple of hours until Elaine barged in and forced her company onto the Quarian. Tali refused to talk much, stubbornly watching a play on a screen. Elaine had seen few of this 'movies' in their entirety, and she was fascinated by the ability to act out a play and make it look so life-like. The first time Kasumi had shown her one, she'd nearly soiled herself! So, Elaine decided that if Tali didn't want to talk, she would just offer her company. The two had remained side by side that night as they watched ' _FLEET AND FLOTILLA'_. Both of them were crying by the end. After that, Tali still kept to herself, and like with Jacob, Elaine resolved herself to give her space until she was ready. She asked if the Quarian wished to accompany her on Omega, but the girl had politely and quietly declined.

She was a little surprised when she came up to the CIC and found Garrus in the cockpit, in full armour and weapons like he planned to go out onto the station. He was speaking to Joker, but his tone seemed… off. The way he was bouncing on his toes, the constant shift of his weight, the tension in his hands; it was as if he was fighting with himself whether to venture out or skulk back into the depths of the ship. Joker seemed to want to lighten the mood, but Garrus wasn't having any of it.

"Hey," Elaine announced as she forced her way into the conversation. "I'm heading out. Anyone care to join me?"

Garrus gave her a look. "You seriously wanna go out in that?" he pointed out the window disgustedly at the station beyond.

Joker swivelled in his chair and practically gave Elaine a begging look. "Yes, please take Mr Cheerful with you, he's kind of killing the mood for me up here."

"I'm going," Elaine said to Garrus. "I would be glad of the company…"

The Turian snorted, but then EDI popped up. "Considering that most of the inhabitants believe you to be dead, Officer Vakarian, should you keep confrontation to a minimum, the chances of you being recognised are as low as 13%."

"Yeah, and if you get spotted, you can just beat 'em off with that stick up your ass." Joker grinned.

He really didn't want to. Elaine could see it in his posture, in his stance. For a moment, she felt guilt, and hung there a moment, to give him the silent option of refusal. But then, he seemed to make up his mind and stormed out of the airlock ahead of her, leaving the woman to follow in his wake. When she finally caught up to him as they came out of the decontamination chamber, he made a small comment that he was only here because he knew Omega upside down and she didn't. Elaine just mutely agreed and the pair of them stepped out onto the station.

It was worse than Tuchanka.

The Krogan home had at least a ghost of lost ancient glory that hid within the skeleton of the pile of rubble it had become. But Omega was a stinking heap of smog and misery. There was no glimpse in any surface that told of a city that had once been something grand that had merely fallen onto dark times. No, instead in every panel, bolt and pane of glass, there was simply a lurking foulness, a creature that came to eat the hearts and souls of those unfortunate enough to step into its trap. The Citadel was filled with artificial light, yet Omega seemed to be in a constant state of perpetual night. The only illumination to be had was from the many lights that lined the streets. Grime, dirt and the pollution of smoke clung to every surface, dried out blood stains long forgotten were found around every corner.

Elaine felt glad of the fact that she had her armour and weapons with her as she walked about this city. It felt she was walking through the scummiest parts of Denerim, the seediest of brothels, the most desolate corners of Orzammar. Yet what disturbed her most was the people she passed by. Illium was said to be as dangerous as this place, yet there had been a façade of civility and propriety dwelling there. But here, in every face she saw a dead glazed look that spoke of lost hope, of the acceptance to one's fate. These people were void of simple pleasures that lit the soul with passion and drive for life itself. They had been turned feral and traitorous by necessity, by the need to survive. And for the first time, Elaine began to realise what Garrus had spoken of when he told her of Omega. People here were all fighting to kick those lower than them, simply because it meant that that would mean one less man to kick them back in turn. She could understand his need to save this place, the need to offer something better, the need to punish those that would allow this heinousness to continue.

Strolling through from markets to streets lined with different taverns that all blasted out the beat of music, she and the turian made their way. Unless they spoke of directions to head in, or specific merchants they wanted to buy things from (Garrus wanted a new spy-glass to sit atop his rifle, for one), the two hardly said a word to each other. Elaine chanced a glance at her companion. His expression was stormy, mandibles pulled tight against his face, his eyes dark. He kept switching his gaze from left to right, taking in every single person that came near them, cataloguing where they were, what they wore and where they were headed. It was as if this entire place had him ready for a fight. Absent-mindedly, his talons traced the edge of the bandage pressed against his face. Elaine couldn't help but feel an incredible pity, that this place could drive away the funny and charming friend she'd come to know, and instead turned him cold and hard.

"Walking around this place makes me sick," he suddenly said, almost spitting out the words with distaste. "People still dying, the strong still exploiting the week."

"That happens everywhere, Garrus," she told him in a delicate manner, not wanting to incite him to anger. "It's just that this place doesn't hide it at all."

The look he cast her way was filled with righteous anger, but Elaine knew it wasn't directed specifically at her. "No, it's because this place is full of scum willing to do whatever they want. I spent so long fighting to make this better, to give people hope. And the moment I leave, it goes right back to the way it used to be."

"It would seem you did things the wrong way around, Garrus. This place is not festering through an infection made by criminals. It's the entire infrastructure. You should've changed it from the top-down, not the bottom-up."

He snorted, but not with amusement. "You obviously don't know the first rule of Omega: Don't fuck with Aria."

"Oh, why? Is she not very good?"

They stopped. Garrus swivelled his head to stare at her, puzzled. Elaine just looked up at him, a hint of a smile at the edges of her mouth. Alistair had rubbed off on her, it seems: make a dark day brighter with humour. Finally, her words sank in, and Garrus couldn't help the soft chortle, a weight seeming to ease from his shoulders.

Beside them, a small railing looked out onto a vast view of the station. Elaine almost felt as if she were in the Fade, looking upon towers suspended upside-down, everything covered in a bronze-hue. She leaned against it, and Garrus joined her, the pair of them not speaking as they just observed. If one were to just look upon the twinkling lights set in the towers, or see the far-off glimmer of the system's sun peeking between the towers, it could be a forgivable mistake to call it… calming.

"Tell me a good memory that happened here, Garrus," Elaine said. He raised a brow-plate at her, and she shrugged. "They can't all be so awful. Tell me about something good that happened here."

Silent for a moment, Garrus looked out onto the view again. Either he was thinking very hard or Elaine feared he would ignore her. "There was one time," he said finally. "Sensat, my Salarian explosive expert, it was his birthday. Weaver somehow let it slip to Mierin, the youngest of us, a human. Me, Sensat and half the others had gone out on patrol, see if we could hunt down any leads. We came back to the hide out, and suddenly Mierin and the rest of the team jump out and shout "surprise!" and Sensat just stands there, all quiet. There's a long, awkward pause, like we're all waiting for something. Then Sensat looks around the room and just says: I was told humans have cake. Where is the cake? The cake is a lie."

Elaine smiled. Sten would've been equally disappointed in the lack of sugary-food.

A hint of a forlorn smile fluttered on Garrus' mandibles. "Everyone just joked it off and then we all ate mountains of food – Mierin had spent all his credits to get us so much. There was drinking, and just… acting normal. Like we were all friends and not a squad who could die to this place's streets the next day."

"It must've been a good night."

"Yeah…" he sighed, gazing out onto the station, as if he could see the faces of his friends in those distant lights. "I wish I could've done more things like that with them. After that, we were raking in more credits from our raids. Some of the team were talking about retiring, living good lives. I wouldn't let them. I pushed them harder… And then…"

The words did not need to be said as the turian's head hung low. Elaine didn't hesitate to reach over and place her hand over the back of his. Even through their gloves, she could feel the warmth of him, and gave his fingers a gentle squeeze. Drawn out of his grieving by her gentle touch, Garrus glanced at her hand, and then to her face. For a moment, Elaine felt like she was lost in those eyes of his. Slowly, she felt his hand turn, until he held her hand in his and squeezed back. Her heart tripped a little, and she didn't know why.

The pain she saw in his gaze – oh, how she wanted to make it go away for him. She knew that pain all too well, they were kindred spirits in that regard. A spell hung over the pair of them, casting them into a bubble on that overcrowded station, isolating them away from it all. And in that space, they both felt as if their words were drawn out and only heard by the other.

"It's my fault they're gone," he whispered. "It wasn't Sidonis. It was me. They wanted to get away from all this. But I wasn't ready to leave, I wasn't ready to give up my purpose. If only I'd–"

Without a word being said, Elaine moved into him, wrapped her arms around his waist and embraced him. She pulled him close, and leaned her head against his shoulder. Held tightly in her arms, she offered him all the comfort and companionship she could offer. No one deserved to live with that guilt alone. After a moment of surprise, she felt Garrus' arms encircle her and hug her back. For a moment, Elaine was reminded of the night she fell asleep in his arms in the Medbay. Peace and safety had enclosed her when she was with him. And she hoped she offered that same serenity back to him. Garrus let out a long and weary sigh, letting go all of the pent-up emotions he'd strangled into submission inside of him. His breath tickled her hair, and warmth bloomed through her body.

Slowly, Garrus pulled her back and looked into his eyes, an almost tired smile playing at the edges of his mandibles. The two friends stared into the other's face, not saying a word, hinging on something they didn't exactly know how to describe. For a moment, Elaine wondered if –

"Elaine!"

The pair jumped apart as if burned. They spun to the voice that had called out, a little surprised to find Samara making her way towards them. The Justicar outwardly appeared serene as ever, but there was something in her gaze that made Elaine uneasy. "Samara? What's wrong?"

"She is here."

It took a few seconds for Elaine to realise the significance of those words, and once she did, she froze. Garrus looked from Asari to human and back again, brow-plates pulled down in confusion. "Errr… who?"

Samara cast her gaze up to Garrus as if only just noticing he was there. "A highly dangerous individual. An Ardat-Yakshi."

Still he appeared confused, so Elaine decided to state it bluntly. "She basically mental-rapes her victims until their minds burst."

"Crudely put. But correct." Samara conceded though her voice held the slightly tone of reproach. "Her name is Morinth and I learned earlier today that the ship which smuggled her off of Illium docked here just three weeks ago."

"Is she still here?"

"Yes." Samara nodded and turned to briskly walk back down the street. Garrus and Elaine were left to hurriedly trail after her as the Justicar kept talking. "I did a little digging before coming to find you. She has already claimed a victim here. A young and naïve girl named Nef. I visited the grieving mother for any information I could ascertain."

"And what did you find?" asked Elaine.

"Morinth is using the nightclub, Afterlife, as her hunting grounds. She is attracted to artists, the exceptional, or those who are more in tune with their darker and base natures. She singles them out, as she did with Nef, gave her attention, drugs, and any other tactic she could use to lure her in. Then she took her to her apartment… the next morning, the body was found, abandoned in a garbage heap."

Garrus frowned. "Then how do we know it was her?"

"Nef's last diary entry spoke of her planning to go to Morinth's apartment that night." Abruptly, she stopped and turned to the Warden woman. "We have to find her lair, Elaine, and destroy her before she knows I'm here."

The answer was immediate. "I'm in."

"Whoa-whoa-whoa! Hold on." Garrus waved his arms to try and get their attention. "You're saying there's an asari sex-murderer on Omega and you want her dead? Why haven't you gone to Shepard?"

"The Commander is busy currently with the errand Aria has set him on. He does not wish to do this now, but I cannot wait."

"How soon do you think she'll kill again?" All Samara did was give him a grave look. The Turian blanched. "What, _that_ fast?"

"Each encounter gives her strength. It is a narcotic. The more she does it, the more she needs to do it. She will never stop. She can't."

"And it's why we need to kill her," said Elaine.

He looked torn as he turned back and forth between the two. "Look, I'm all for getting one more psycho off the streets. But shouldn't Shepard be the one making this decision?"

"Garrus," Elaine remarked scathingly – for how could he be stalling in this decision? Wasn't it clear what they should do? "You heard what Samara said. We can't wait. _I'm_ not waiting."

"We'll be going behind Shepard's back on this."

"And Shepard said he trusts my heart to be in the right place. I'm not letting this go unresolved. If you don't want to–"

"I never said I wasn't in." His interruption caused Elaine's tirade to come to a halt and left her dumbfounded. He smirked at her surprise. "What, you think I'm gonna let you two go at this alone? No. I might not like leaving Shepard out of this, but I've still got your back."

"Thank you." The relieved words left her lips with a smile. He gave her a cheeky wink, and that warmth spread through her blood once again. To distract herself, she turned back to Samara. "Very well then, where do we start?"

"We need to find her den and set an ambush for her there," The Justicar walked onwards once again, and Elaine recognised they were heading back towards the ship. "To do that, we must lure her into the open. And you two will need to be the bait."

Garrus snorted. "Hope you're a good actor, Elaine, because we're going under-cover."

* * *

Only a couple of hours after first meeting Aria, Shepard strolled back into Afterlife. The Commander stuck to the shadows as best he could, trying to act inconspicuous. Last thing he wanted was for someone to notice him in this ridiculous outfit. When he'd met with Aria to be briefed on what she wanted, she'd given him a load of new clothes for the evening, stating that armour was not the impression she wanted him to give. Instead, he wore a silken shirt beneath a hard-black leather jacket and jeans. With his buzz-cut hair and imposing figure, he bet he looked like a dressed-up thug. Which he supposed was exactly what Aria wanted from him. The Commander himself wasn't at all impressed. He felt exposed without his armour, and with only a pistol tucked into a holster concealed within the flap of his jacket, he felt almost unarmed.

Afterlife wasn't filled with the usual scum he'd seen when he'd last been on Omega. There were no fools in here to drink away their troubles if they could afford it, or random person off the street who'd managed to get in. No, now it was a higher-class scum. Races from across the galaxy filled the room, and Shepard could tell which ones were the ones in power of their respective gangs, arms-dealers, merc bands or other shady organisation. They exuded power and had flocks of bodyguards and underlings surrounding them. Each one had brought their own entourage to fill the club, and these people were the ones intermingling the most at the bar or on the dancefloor. The dancers were still at their poles, but their movements were more refined, more sensual than the usual slutty displays they put on.

The Commander marched through the crowd. Every now and again, he'd catch sight of one or two of the party guests following him with their eyes. They took note of him, smirks on their faces, before they'd lean over to whisper to their neighbours. Shepard had to fight every instinct in his body not to throat-punch them all. How he hated this. How he felt belittled and humiliated and he hadn't even done anything yet. He was tempted to turn around and walk back out. But then he thought of those dog-tags, and his rage dried up, and he was resigned to his fate. He climbed up the stairs to Aria's throne where she still overlooked the whole club, not making an attempt to mingle with her guests.

"Shepard, glad you could make it," said the Asari as she turned to cast him a sly smile, her gaze glancing up and down his body.

"Are you gonna give me the name of the man I need to kill or what?"

"Easy, Shepard," though her voice was calm, even as if she were on the verge of chuckling, Aria's eyes were hard, telling him to keep his mouth shut. "Just have a drink, make sure you're seen. We can get down to business in a moment."

A human woman in an outfit that barely covered any of her skin appeared at his elbow, holding a tray filled with drinks. Shepard had to take a moment to calm himself, teeth grinding against one another. With a short and muttered 'thank-you', he snatched up a drink from the waiter and sat down to one side of Aria's massive couch. He sat there, fuming and chucking back his drink, whilst Aria ' _entertained'_. Every now and again, one of the esteemed elite from the floor below would be brought up to sit with Aria and talk – both of the trivial and of business. Shepard just had to sit there silently through it all. Once in a while, the guest's eyes would find him or Aria would vaguely gesture in his direction. Always to show how she had him on a leash. Shepard did his best to gaze out at nothingness ahead of him, saving his searing glare for the wall ahead. He hated every damn moment where Aria used him like a tool. The only consolation he got was to imagine how he could (in a fantasy) barge in armoured and armed to the teeth and kill every single one of these bastards.

"There he is," Aria said suddenly when her latest guest left, in a voice so quiet the commander struggled to hear her at first.

Sheard twisted around to where Aria was staring down at the floor below. Scanning the crowd, he was only alerted to the one he wanted when a shout rose up from the bar. A Batarian draped in Blue Suns armour. He was speaking to one other person who was obviously inebriated. The drunkard was exclaiming and calling out enthusiastically, probably talking about some war-story or something like that. The Batarian just sat quietly, only opening his mouth to speak every so often. The only thing interesting about him was the fact that Shepard could make grisly burn scars across most of the Batarian's exposed skin.

"Who is he?" Shepard asked.

"I'm surprised you don't recognise him," the smile Aria sent him was a little too serpentine for his liking. "His name is Tarak. His lovely new face-job is from an explosion he miraculously managed to survive. He's the current leader of the Blue-Suns on Omega… and he's also the man who claims to have killed Archangel…"

* * *

The three hunters returned to the Normandy in order to prepare for the mission. Elaine had immediately gone to Kasumi, and the Master Thief could've hit the ceiling with her happy squeal at being allowed to dress Elaine in any enticing manner. Elaine had only begun to regret her decision the moment she heard Kasumi say the words: 'when I'm through with you, girl, the men will be drooling at the sight of you!' Elaine had been given the high-heeled shoes again, though this time her dress was made of black satin, with slits in the sides to tantalisingly expose her waist. Instead of her hair being ironed straight, this time, Kasumi curled each individual lock until her golden tresses were a fountain of untamed curls that cascaded in a chaotic blaze.

Samara had warned them that the guards of Afterlife and Morinth herself would not tolerate visible weapons. She'd advised them to go in unarmed. But the two soldiers knew the unlikeliness of that. Garrus had told her he planned to tuck the smallest pistol on the ship beneath the overlap of his tunic; so, Elaine had strapped a knife to her thigh hidden beneath the leg-slit in her dress. If she couldn't go in, sword in hand, she'd be clever. She was actually quite excited about tonight, perhaps more than she should be. She was supposed to be on the hunt, putting herself and Garrus in potential danger. But they were pretending to be people they weren't. There was some realm of excitement to that. Plus, she and Garrus had placed a bet on this. Whoever bagged Morinth got to add ten points to their kill-list.

Leaving the ship and making her way towards the club, Elaine felt her nerves start to creep in. She and Garrus had both decided to act like strangers here. They'd come to the same conclusion just before going their separate ways to get changed: "If we both go in separately, we'll have more chances of her catching her. We'll give her two targets and hope she picks one."

Approaching the club entrance, Elaine tried to be as sultry and appealing as possible. She remembered back to the Pearl, the brothel in Denerim, where she and her companions had met the pirate beauty – Isabella. The dark skinned Rivani woman had been tantalising and mesmerising to watch, even to someone like Elaine who was only interested in men. Isabella had only ever had to speak a certain way, walk a certain way, and she had every man fawning all over her. Elaine had never felt like that before, and so tried her best to replicate everything she'd observed Isabella doing. For tonight, that's who she was pretending to be: Isabella, a sultry pirate queen.

Something must've gone right, for the man at the door let her in without any questions, his eyes roaming up and down her body with approval. She resisted the urge to slap him, for his reaction was supposed to be what she wanted. As she waded further into the club, the growing music threatened to deafen her, and the flashing lights almost blinded her. Her eyes scanned the crowd, and Samara's words of advice before they'd all set out echoed in her thoughts:

" _Each of you must go in alone – Morinth will be watching. Like any predator, she will be cautious. You must pique her interest enough that she will approach you. She admires strength, directness and vigour. Modesty, chivalry and meekness will frustrate her. Violence excites her. She will want either of you the moment she sees you. You two are artists on the battlefield, you have the vital spark that attracts her. The rest is just a matter of overpowering her caution. When you are face-to-face, subtly encourage her to take you to her apartment. I'll follow discreetly and when you are alone, I'll spring the trap. But know this: until I get there, you are in great peril. She will be planning to inflict horrors upon you. If you are not careful, you will want her to_."

So, try to act selfish and bloodthirsty. Don't be a hero. And try to get alone with her whilst also avoiding the horrible death that awaited. Easy…

 _"_ _We only get one chance at this. Any mistake, and Morinth will disappear. Good luck."_

Good luck indeed. At this rate, they'd need buckets of it. Making her way around the room, Elaine tried to search for her prey without seeming obvious. At one point, someone tried to invade her personal space, and Elaine allowed the anger she usually controlled to reign through her. The unfortunate soul was cowed into submission with her voice and dangerous eyes alone. He'd run off rather quickly. As Elaine made her way towards the bar, a few people stopped and either spoke a word or two to her, or they tried to make her dance. Elaine engaged her nobleman days of easing through the crowd of a party, commanding everyone who interacted with her with but a glance or a word.

Finally, she reached the central bar. She wanted to use it as a vantage point to better look out onto everything around her. But it was difficult to make out any one particular asari, let alone identify which one of them was going to be their target. At a balcony overlooking the entire floor above, Elaine caught sight of Shepard seated on a couch and looking onto the dancefloor. Quickly, Elaine turned her back on him, hoping he wouldn't recognise her amidst the crowd. That was right, Shepard was on a mission of his own in here. That reminder made things a little more difficult. They'd need to get this done without hindering Shepard or without him noticing they were here. _Just fantastic._

"Nice outfit…" came a purr just to her left.

Elaine smirked to herself, not needing to turn to acknowledge the familiar voice. "Not so bad yourself…"

Garrus leaned against the bar, dressed in a suit of various shades of black, white and grey. The red of his scar and the blue of his tattoos stood out in stark contrast in the dim light of the club. He looked neat and sophisticated and gentlemanly, yet without his signature visor across one eye there was an almost predatory gleam to him, his mandibles pulled down just far enough to expose the glint of his sharp teeth. He was dangerous and regal all in one. He was… handsome.

Her thoughts stopped short. Was he? She dared to turn her head enough to take a look without actually appearing to acknowledge him. With his plates and spikes and mandibles and teeth, he should've looked the furthest thing from handsome. To Elaine, he should be the equivalent of an animal in appearance. Her world had been filled with humanoids, the most outlandish being either the Qunari with their horns, or perhaps the werewolves. And yet, Garrus wasn't like that. She don't know how long he had stopped appearing so alien to her, but she recognised that she had grown used to him, learned how to read him. And through that, she even recgonised that yes, tonight, he did look handsome.

"Had any luck?" she asked him in a voice only he could hear.

"Yeah. She's in the darkest corner, just off near the back entrance," he murmured. Elaine tried to casually turn herself in the direction he'd described, pressing her back against the bar and resting her elbows on it, arching her spine like she was half stretching and half displaying herself. Her eyes glanced over the corner Garrus said, and sure enough she could faintly make out the silhouette of a woman in the corner of a booth.

"Now we just need to get her attention," she said. "Any ideas?"

He paused, and when he spoke there was a slight hesitancy in his voice. "Err, yeah. I got one… Do you trust me?"


	31. The Ardat-Yakshi

**A/N: I took some artistic liberties with Morinth and the powers of the Ardat-Yakshi in general, and for that I am obligated to announce a Trigger-Warning for the following chapter.**

* * *

"Samara said Morinth likes violence and confidence, she likes it if you can play the crowd. We just need her to pick one of us," Garrus said hesitantly – for some reason his throat felt dry and his bravado since walking into the club had left him. At the last moment, for reasons unknown to him, he diverted from his original plan. "See that Turian harassing the asari?"

Elaine scoffed softly. "How could anyone miss him?"

"Go get his attention. Looks like he's into aliens. He won't be able to resist you."

Even in the dim light of the bar, he could see the blush in her cheeks. Her eyes darted to him for half a second, and he realised what he'd said. Usually he'd shrug and laugh it off, but he couldn't be his awkward self here. He had to be ruthless. As much as he hated to admit it, he had to be the bad-boy-Archangel here, it seemed like that was the type Morinth might like.

He watched Elaine saunter off across the dance floor, making a beeline for the turian and asari dancer. Without his consent, his eyes focused on the sway of her hips and the roll of her waist. It took him a moment to realise what he was doing and snapped his attention onto anything else. This was _Elaine_ he was looking at. _Show some damn class_ , he scolded himself. Garrus turned back to the bar to toss back the rest of his drink. He needed to give Elaine a moment to soak up the attention. But as he put the glass back down, his eyes caught movement. Shepard was descending down the stairs from Aria's throne. Shit, had he spotted them already?! Garrus whipped around to turn his back on his commander, praying to whatever spirits were listening that he'd not recognised him. When nothing happened, the turian hesitantly relaxed.

Which was why he was thrown completely off guard when a hand grabbed hold of his and pulled him to his feet. His eyes flew open to find Elaine right in front of him. "Why do I need _that_ Turian when I already have one?"

She dragged him onto the dancefloor. And whilst he initially thought to resist, he couldn't stop himself from dutifully following her. It only occurred to him then to put back on his act, and adopted a more enthusiastic stance, with an intense gaze on the back of Elaine's head. He hoped she couldn't feel through his gloves how his pulse was racing. Had she read his mind on what he'd initially planned but chickened out at the last moment? Ever since that day down in the cargo-hold, Garrus had been a little apprehensive about getting into a situation like that again. He'd rationalised it to simply being desperate for some action, a chance to let off some steam. That had to be it. His body was reacting to stimulation the way any male in his prime should – it wasn't Elaine's fault he apparently had piss-poor control.

She stopped in the middle of the dancefloor, clearly in sight of the shadowy figure in the corner that Garrus could see with his superior eye-sight was the spitting image of Samara. Then, she took his hands in hers and… well, at least, he _thought_ it was dancing. She was trying to keep to the beat of the fast-paced music, but her fluid and sensual movements looked like they belonged to a ballroom. It was as if she needed a partner to complete her. Garrus' eyes were once again drawn to her brilliantly displayed body, or the wild tresses of her pale-gold hair. Each time a light passed over the dancefloor, Elaine's hair lit up like a beacon, so different and distinct from any other human. It'd been luck Shepard hadn't noticed Garrus, but he wouldn't be able to miss Elaine for long.

 _Just go with it,_ Garrus thought and grabbed hold of the dancing woman. His mother had loved studying other cultures, and she'd once given Garrus a single lesson in human dancing. It was difficult to recall everything she'd said so many years ago, but once he got the hang of it, he did the basics he knew flawlessly. One of his arms encircled behind Elaine's waist to rest his hand on the flat of her back. The other took hold of her free hand, as one had instinctively gone to his opposing shoulder. They moved about the floor, and after a moment, Garrus found he was struggling to _lead_ the dance, as his mother had once told him was human custom. Elaine was fighting him at every opportunity. She wanted to whip her hair about, and then push her body flush against him in waving movement.

"What are you doing?" he asked quietly as he pressed his mandibles against her ear, as if he were trying to nuzzle her.

"Like you said," she whispered back. "Violence and confidence."

And then she hoisted up one leg and wrapped it over his hip. Garrus stiffened at the brush of her naked leg against his sensitive waist, her core pressed against him in a very suggestive way. Others on the dancefloor were turning and taking notice of them. Having no choice but to play along, Garrus took one large step backwards so that he was stretching out the flexibility of her legs. And… _damn,_ if that wasn't impressive as she moved effortlessly with him. And then she'd disengaged from him, running her hands along his arms and the front of his carapace. Suddenly, she grabbed hold of his collar and yanked his face down towards hers, so close her lips were just an inch away from his face. And then she'd shoved him back.

Stumbling back half a step, Garrus had to admit that she was good at playing the part. This vicious, teasing side of her was something he'd not seen in her before. The wicked flash of her teeth as she smirked, the way she pulled her arms upwards to bury her hands in her hair, it made her already toned waist go taunt that Garrus couldn't help staring. No, wait! He had to stay focused. Didn't they have a bet on this? Deciding to up his game, Garrus came charging after her, taking her up in his arms again with such suddenness the human couldn't quite hide her squeak of surprise in time.

He danced with her, dictating their moves by using his larger body structure and strength to his advantage. Elaine moved along with him, her bright icy eyes staring up at him intensely. Her lithe body fit against him almost perfectly without his bulky armour getting in the way. Had she picked this dress on purpose, with the slashes in the sides to show off tantalising pieces of skin? For some reason, his blood was pounding with heat in his veins and for the life of him he couldn't get it to stop. Elaine would tilt her head to the side so as to expose the long curvature of her throat to him. Garrus had to keep reminding himself that this was fake. That she was acting.

Suddenly, she spun out of his arms and came to a stop right in front of one of their spectators. A human. He eyes her up and down with a grin, as if he meant to take her right there. Garrus was behind her in a heartbeat. His mandibles parted and his subharmonics flashed into a warning growl that only other turians could hear. It was an instinctual move, and one that left him puzzled as he pulled Elaine back towards him and their dance. He tried to keep up the act, pressing his chest against her back, wrapping one arm around her whilst the other sank into her luscious locks, nose pushed against her jugular. It was all the behaviours of any male being too forward and too aggressive in his advances, he'd had to deal with enough of them back at C-Sec. The part that scared him was how it didn't quite feel like an act anymore. Somewhere, inexplicably, the lines between what was real and what was not had become rather thin… and it scared the crap out of him.

With his mind so preoccupied, he was taken by surprise when Elaine burst out of his hold, spun to face him and slapped him across the unscarred mandible. He blinked, trying to process in his mind what had just happened. When he looked back at Elaine, she was sneering, though only he could see the secret apology she held in her eyes. She grabbed hold of his collar and yanked him down to her level. "Why don't you go and cool off, big-boy?" she growled out loud enough for the crowd and pushed him away from her.

Garrus took the opportunity without hesitation. After that little show, someone needed scope the area and see if the prey had taken the bait. That and… _Spirits_ , he needed a stiff drink.

* * *

Shepard made his way down the stairs, eyes fixed on the batarian, Tarak. He'd thought the fucker had died in the gunship explosion! Hopefully, he wouldn't recognise Shepard – they'd never really gotten a good look at each other back in the merc camp outside Garrus' old base. There was a small commotion on the dancefloor, but Shepard ignored it. Probably another cock-fight.

He sidled up to the bar and slipped into the seat not three feet from Tarak. On closer inspection, the burn-scars on the Batarian's flesh were worse than even Garrus' – they were fucking gruesome. Even one of Tarak's eyes had been claimed by the injuries, staring out unseeingly through a milky-white foam. The other three were surrounded by twisted and mangled flesh. What Shepard took particular note of, was the oxygen-feeder that poked out of Tarak's nose. The wire was hooked up to the life-support system in his armour. It would seem that the Batarian hadn't come out of the battle with Archangel as unscathed as he might appear from a distance. That would be easy to sabotage, even Shepard could do it if his omni-tool got close enough.

"I hear you're the guy that killed Archangel?"

Tarak glanced over in Shepard's direction, having to turn his head a little more than he might've done due to his partial blindness on that side. Body guards behind him tensed a little, but waited for their boss to give a signal. Shepard made sure he was as none threatening as possible, not even looking at Tarak, like he was just trying to strike general conversation. When he'd met the Batarian head of the Blue-Suns before, he hadn't seemed like the chattiest of people. And from the curl of his lip over his long teeth, it was a good guess that that still held truth.

Shepard remembered one of his soldiers telling him Tarak didn't trust anyone outside the Blue-Suns. And that looked true now, as he hissed at Shepard: "And who the fuck wants to know?"

"Heard he caused a little trouble out here," the commander murmured vaguely. "Trouble certain people don't like."

All the Batarian did was grunt and turn away, a look of revulsion on his face as he gazed out onto the scene of the party and the many alien forms crowding round together. Seeing their boss dismiss the stranger, the bodyguards behind him started to relax and slightly divert their attention.

Shepard wanted Tarak dead, but he couldn't do that and then fight his way out of the whole bar. He needed those bodyguards to look away a little longer and did his best to keep his voice nonchalant, to keep eyes off him. "You don't look so happy to be here,"

"Not when I've got scum all up in my face." Tarak shot at him nastily. "Aria wants to have her pets running around, that's her deal. But I've got better shit to be dealing with."

"And you still didn't answer my question: did you kill Archangel?"

It would also seem that the accomplishment of killing the vigilante was too much of a feat to repress bragging about, even if it was filled with spite, as Tarak proved. "Yeah. Piece of shit got what was coming to him. Took out my best lieutenant. Almost killed me!" Apparently, it didn't take more than that bunch of garbled sentences before the merc-leader was rasping for breath and trying to hide it. With a frustrated growl, he threw something at the barmaid serving a group of Salarians six feet along. "Girl! Get me something that doesn't taste like piss! I don't got time to put up with this shit."

Movement on Tarak's other side caught Shepard's eye – and he froze. Who should appear at that moment, but a certain scarred, blue-painted Turian? Dressed in a suit, his signature eye-visor absent, Garrus leaned against the bar and snagged a drink out of the hand of another Turian who was too drunk to pay attention. It looked like Garrus hadn't noticed or didn't realise exactly who was stood next to him, and it seemed like Tarak didn't either. Shepard felt his heart start to crash against his ribs, though doing everything he could to appear outwardly calm. Why in the hell was he here?! The danger Shepard knew his friend to be in at that moment made his mind spin to try and figure out how to get this solved quickly. It would only take a quick look over from Garrus, or for Tarak to hear his voice, and then a shitstorm would erupt.

Garrus didn't seem to know Shepard was there either, as his eyes passed over him like he was invisible, as his gaze turned back to the dancefloor. Something caught his eyes and he suddenly went rigid. After serving with him for a full year on the SR1, and now several months on the SR2, Shepard had been taught how to read Turian facial expressions. And by the set of his mandibles and the flare in his eyes, a growing fury was coming over Garrus. Frowning, Shepard followed his gaze and looked out onto the dancefloor.

It was Jacob, the human was obviously drunk off his ass by the slight wobble to his steps. Shepard wasn't surprised, for he'd seen Jacob trying to drink away the sorrows of his father when he first walked in. Grinning like a fool, Jacob was spinning a woman in his arms and pulling her closer. Her bright hair flashed in the light of the club as Jacob ran his fingers through it – Wait a second, was that _Elaine_?! Shepard gaped, for he honestly hadn't recognised her. The sexy black dress that hugged her curves, and the way she held herself like a predator on the hunt for prey, it was so _not like her._ Jacob and Elaine were dancing, or at least Jacob looked like he was trying to teach Elaine how to club dance. Running his hands down her back, Jacob moved against the blonde in a very _suggestive_ way. It had been clear to anyone with a working set of eyes that Jacob found Elaine attractive – apart from the woman herself it seemed. Though now she looked like she was starting to realise it. Despite the ravenous curl of her lips, there was something in her eyes that looked uncomfortable.

Shepard glanced back at Garrus, but he was already gone. Anger in his eyes, the Turian stormed away from the bar and pushed his way through the crowd, heading straight for the pair. Shepard could've breathed a sigh of relief, for now Garrus was safe from Tarak. But now he had a potential fight on his hands between his own crew.

Quickly calling up his omni-tool, he violently punched in the command as he muttered his last words to Tarak. "I think the party's over."

Smoothly, he got up and left his seat right as his omni-tool shocked Tarak's armour and reset his environmental controls into reverse. It took a second or two before the effects were noticeable, and then Tarak was rasping, and then gasping for air, even as his suit fed him carbon-dioxide continuously. His body-guards didn't know what to do as he useless clawed at his own throat and tried to pull out the air feeder from his nose. It was too late before anyone realised what was happening, Tarak falling to the floor with a wordless-cry. By that time, Shepard was already gone and chasing after Garrus, trying to get to him in time.

But with the crowd blocking his way more easily than they had the bulky Turian, Garrus easily reached the dancing pair first. A jealous fire burned in his body, talons twisted as if he wanted to slash and claw at an enemy. Shepard had wondered if something was going on, ever since he'd found Garrus and Elaine cuddled up in the medbay, but he'd doubted seeing as Garrus had never shown any interest in aliens before. That was laid to rest as Garrus loomed behind Jacob, a growl in his subharmonics. He grabbed a fistful of Jacob's jacket and wrenched the man off of Elaine.

"I think that's enough." He spat as he spun Jacob to face him, Elaine stumbling into the crowd, apparently forgotten.

"What's your problem, Vakarian?" Jacob exclaimed, his words slurred, and batted Garrus' arm off. The two men glared at each other, and Jacob's drink completely blinded him to his crewmate's fury, as he grinned lecherously. "I'm just here for the _priiiiiiiize_."

Shepard shoved his way through the last few people, but couldn't make it in time before Garrus' fist swung hard. He punched Jacob right across the face, the human stumbling back, lips bursting in a spray of blood. Despite his inebriation, Jacob recovered quickly, and tried to charge at Garrus. The sniper already had a follow-up strike primed, but Shepard pushed his way between them.

"Enough! The both of you!" he shouted to be heard above the music, hands on both of their chests to keep them back.

"Come on! That all you got, Vakarian!" Jacob taunted, pushing against Shepard to try and reach Garrus.

"I said enough!" Shepard roared.

At that exact moment, three krogan bouncers appeared on all sides of the group, and growled out at them. Their eyes fixed on Shepard, already identifying him as the leader. "You three. Out. Now."

Like teenagers, Shepard, Garrus and Jacob were escorted out of the club and then thrown out the front door. Jacob tripped over his own feet and managed to just catch himself on his hands and knees on the pavement, whereas Garrus and Shepard were still sober enough to keep their balance. Shepard was more than pissed, not only at his crews' behaviour, but also at being treated so because of their actions. Before he could launch his tirade of equal parts questions and scolding, Samara popped her head out from around the corner and jogged over to them.

"What happened? Why are you leaving?" she asked quickly, a note of alarm in her eyes.

"Samara?" Shepard looked from the Justicar, to the turian she had obviously been speaking to. His brows came down as a sense of premonition settled in his gut. "Okay, what the hell is going on here?"

The human on the floor managed to sit down on his ass, and shrug innocently. "Don't look at me, Shep… I was just–"

"Shut up, Jacob. You're drunk," Shepard snapped without even looking at his fellow human. He kept his piercing glare on Garrus, who was fidgeting under the scrutiny. "Garrus. I asked you a question: what is going on?"

He was torn, wanting to tell Shepard but not sure what to say. He opened his mouth to speak, but then Samara's cool tone beat him to it. "It is my fault, Shepard. I asked Garrus and Elaine to assist in me in finding Morinth."

"The criminal you were hunting?" Now it all started to make sense, and with it came the righteous anger. "I thought I told you to wait–"

"I could not. The matter was urgent."

Growling, Shepard threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "I don't fucking believe you people! Never mind the fact that you all nearly cost me my mission in there. You all went behind my back on this!"

Garrus was looking around, distracted. "Shepard–"

"And you!" all the turian had done was refocus Shepard's ire as the Spectre turned on him. "You're supposed to be my best friend, Garrus. What the hell are you doing–"

"Shepard!" Garrus interrupted loudly, panicked. "Where's Elaine? I didn't see her come out…"

* * *

Elaine allowed the Asari to take her hand and lead her through the twisting alleys and streets of Omega. Though her smile and demeanour remained calm, even flirtatious, her mind desperately tried to memorise and the route they'd taken. She hoped Samara and the others were following. After Garrus had left her on the dancefloor, she and Jacob had just happened to stumble into each other. She'd tried to disengage from him, to stalk around the club and see if their prey would make a move. But he'd been drunk and determined to dance with her, to teach her how to "really" dance, he'd said. When Garrus had reappeared and pulled him off, Elaine had stumbled back into the crowd and that was when Morinth had materialised at her side. She'd whispered in Elaine's ear and then led her away out of Afterlife. The pair of them had made their way out and Elaine had hoped Garrus had seen and gone to fetch Samara as they'd planned. But he'd seemed pretty angry with Jacob…

Morinth led the way up a flight of stairs until they finally came to a door. The Asari smiled coyly over her shoulder at Elaine as she unlocked it. Just like when she'd first seen her, Elaine was astonished at how much Morinth looked like Samara. There was absolutely no mistaking that the two were related. The doors opened and Morinth guided Elaine inside. It was spacious, with a wide living area separated from the bedroom by a small set of steps. Trophies, statues and antiques lined the walls, and Elaine had to wonder how Morinth could go on the run with so much stuff to carry around with her.

"I've been watching you all night, the way you worked the crowd. You practically had them eating out of your hand." Said Morinth, her voice was sensual; a caress of breath and sound as she smiled. She made her way over to a table in the corner and poured two glasses of deep red wine. When she walked over to Elaine, her movements were fluid and graceful, her arms delicate in their hold as she gave the human her glass. "Two men fighting over you – the imagery is ancient and carnal and exciting. Yet here you are with me…"

The way she smiled was unnerving, like she knew something you didn't. But Elaine did her best to appear unaffected, remembering her mantra for the evening: Violence and Confidence. With an arched brow, Elaine expertly flicked her curled hair over her shoulder with a snort. "Their preening bores me to tears. At least you're a little more direct in your desires."

Morinth's smile grew wide, her teeth flashing. She strolled over to the long sofa, rolling her hips as she moved. Reclining in her seat, Morith crossed her long legs, one arm draped along the back whilst the other held her glass of wine against her lips. She watched Elaine with hooded eyes. The Warden felt the urge to reach for the knife strapped to her thigh, to have a weapon in hand. It felt like Morinth could see underneath her skin, could strip her where she was so exposed and out of armour. But she pushed aside such thoughts. She needed to stay focused, keep Morinth's attention until Samara could arrive. She headed towards one of the display cases, her eyes landing on one filled with two ceremonial long-swords. Even through the glass, Elaine could see they were blunted and darkened with age, but she allowed her fascination to steal her attention.

"You like swords?" asked Morinth.

Elaine tried to play back at her with a purr of her own. "My weapon of choice. It's up close and personal."

"I was into duelling for a while. I love the moment you see it in your opponent's eyes: he knows you're better and he's going to die." The grin in Morinth's voice, the way she relished in the mental image, it once again made Elaine's nerves go on edge. "Come, sit, have a drink with me."

She didn't want to, but the Warden had no choice but to comply. Keeping a slight smile plastered on her face, she strolled back towards the sofa, and sank down. The softness wanted to swallow her up, such a luxurious feeling that Elaine couldn't help but sigh slightly. So much nicer than the hardbacked seats on the Normandy. Sipping at the wine, Elaine savoured the dark and musky taste, always aware of Morinth's smile on her.

"I love clubs – people, movement, heat. I can still hear the bass, like the drums of a great hunt, out for your blood." Morinth murmured, and Elaine had to admit that she could understand that. The music in Afterlife had been deafening, and whilst they were now away from it, they hadn't travelled so far that the noise was gone – they could still hear it distantly from a few streets away. Morinth seemed to pick up on the same trail of thought and mused aloud: "But here, it's muted and you're safe. I've never understood the fascination with safety. Some of us choose differently."

"And what do you choose?" Elaine couldn't help but ask, and Morinth's eyes slid back towards her.

"Independence over submission… I think we share that, you and I."

"Do we?"

In one fluid motion, Morinth put her glass on the windowsill behind her, and crawled along the edge of the sofa to get closer to Elaine. Her eyes hooked on the human's unblinkingly, and Elaine suddenly felt hot at her wrists and throat. "There's something about you. It's like nothing I've seen before. It's like this pull in the depth of my soul. Don't you feel it?"

Elaine frowned. The truth felt like it was being pulled out of her, even as she struggled to come up with a better answer. "There's… something… a burn on my skin…"

"Oh, darling, I feel it too," Morinth cooed. She sat right next to Elaine, her knee brushing hers, and the human felt a tingle work across her skin. Daringly, Morinth reached out and trailed her fingers up and down Elaine's arm with a feather-light touch, and she wanted to bat the hand away, shrink back, but could not. The asari then looked into Elaine's eyes and she whispered breathily. "That _need_. That _want_ that won't go away. It builds in you, doesn't it? Until you realise you want nothing more than you want this."

Heat pooled into Elaine's veins, and suddenly she knew Morinth spoke truth. There was a need, a fierce desire burning its way through her system. A headache began to form in her skull, and though she tried to puzzle it out, Elaine couldn't figure out what it was. Something was happening to her. She felt like as she'd done on long, lonely nights during the Blight, trying to relieve her own stress by fondling herself. Without any prompting, her body was filled fire, chasing the edge to find a release she hadn't wanted to happen. She felt like if Morinth stopped touching her, didn't stop speaking, she'd explode with unfulfillment. The longer the asari gazed into her eyes, the worse it grew, until Elaine was struggling to hold back a whimper of need. From the depth of her aching mind, words floated back to her consciousness.

 _Morinth speaks to you on many levels. Her body tells yours that she'll bring unimaginable ecstasy. Her scent evokes emotions long hidden. Her eyes promise you things you were always scared to ask of another. Her voice whispers to you after she is done speaking._

And suddenly Elaine remembered where she was and what was happening. Horror dawned on her so quickly, she wanted to vomit. Morinth's fingers trailed the hem of Elaine's dress, tracing along her collarbone, and the human wanted so desperately to smack it away. She didn't want this, she wanted to say no, inside she was cold and wanted none of this, even as this artificial desire burned its way through her body. Mortification made her want to cry, she felt violated that this woman was forcing her body to react in such a way. Elaine desperately wanted to move away, but found that she couldn't move – her head hurt too much at the thought. She was rendered powerless as Morinth leaned in and brushed her nose along the shell of Elaine's ear.

Her fingers flittered down and hooked underneath the black satin dress. Elaine squeezed her eyes shut as she felt the intruding presence along the sensitive skin of her thigh. The song in her blood cried out with want, even as she shuddered with disgust. But then, Morinth's fingers fiddled with something, and came away dangling the unstrapped dagger in front of Elaine's face. Her voice whispered as she nibbled on Elaine's earlobe. "You won't be needing this tonight…"

"Don't." The Warden hissed out between clenched teeth through sheer force of will. Too late had she realised the danger, and now her spirit desperately crashed against the walls of her body for freedom. Yet even speech was taken from her as the pounding in her head swelled and the rush of desire grew fiercer. "I can't… I want…"

"So strong! I need this." Grinning like a cat, Morinth swung her leg over to straddle Elaine's lap. She tilted the human's chin, forcing her to fall into eyes that were suddenly as full-black as a shark's. "Look into my eyes and tell me you want me. Tell me you'd kill for me. Anything I want."

"I want…" Elaine tried to bite on her tongue, screaming internally. Darkness swept in at the edges of her vision, leaking into her soul through Morinth's eyes. She tried and failed to deny the woman's wishes. "Maker, I _want_ …"

"Shhhh, darling," Morinth murmured, leaning closer to skim her lips over Elaine's. "Just relax and hear my words…"

The pounding suddenly intensified. Elaine could _feel_ something worming its way inside her mind. Her muscles began to loosen, until her arm turned limp, the glass of wine in her hand crashing to the floor and shattering. Blood-red liquid soaked the floor. The addictive desire in her veins was now racing to catch up to that elusive edge. She could feel a climax so close! She tried to deny it, thinking of anything that might turn her off. But the moment she got close, Morinth was there, overpowering her will forcing her own mind into submission. Elaine could feel every nerve be speared by electricity, shocking her to her core. Her body began to convulse, trembling all over, her stomach churning until she thought she would vomit. Something was coming, something was about to detonate inside her, and Morinth was right there, drinking it in.

And then with a _SNAP_ it stopped. Morinth turned away, distracted. And with her focus gone, her spell over Elaine vanished. She dropped to the sofa, boneless, her mind reeling. Air refused to enter her quickly enough, and she was too tired to even try. Morinth was already off of her, and darkness swept in to claim her.

* * *

With Samara at the lead, Garrus and Shepard followed in right behind her, pistols raised. They'd followed a signal in Elaine's omni-tool that EDI was able to trace. Now they'd arrived at the Ardat-Yakshi's lair, and Garrus' heart was hammering with questions if they'd made it in time. They turned the corner into the apartment, and found Morinth straddled over Elaine on the sofa. The asari snapped her head up at them the moment they came in. Her eyes widened and she immediately bolted. She ran for a small door, but Shepard let off a shot that hit the wall in front of her. Morinth hesitated for a fraction of a second, and that was all Samara needed. Her biotics flared to life and ensnared her daughter, pulling her into the air and then slamming her against the reinforced glass of the window.

Garrus noticed that Elaine hadn't gotten up from the sofa. She was lying face down on it, limp. Stomach dropping like a stone, he ran straight towards her, almost slipping in the spilled wine and shards of glass that cut into his knees as he knelt before her. He swept her hair out of her face, and noticed her eyes open and rolled into the back of her head. "Elaine!" he called out to her and pulled her into his arms. He shook her to try and rouse her, and for a brief moment she seemed to respond before slipping into unconsciousness again. "Hey, hey! Come on, tough girl, wake up!"

"Hello, Mother." Morinth growled out from where she was pinned to the window.

Samara snarled and slammed her daughter with another biotic blast, the most vicious look on her face any of the crew had ever seen. "Do not call me that!"

"I can't choose to stop being your daughter, _Mother!_ " she spat back defiantly.

The Justicar paused, an expression passing over her face that looked like… _grief_. "You are not my daughter. You killed her long ago."

Before another word could be uttered, Shepard marched up to Samara's side and shot a bullet straight through Morinth's skull. The window behind her burst and the body fell through the shattering glass and out of sight. Samara stared, almost bereft, at the place where her daughter had been a few moments ago. Though Shepard got over it very quickly and turned back into the room. Garrus had his omni-tool running to scan over Elaine, noting how her erratic heart-rate was starting to slow. Shepard knelt beside him and looked over the woman with him, the pair of them waiting until Elaine appeared to be coming around, though barely.

"Okay," Shepard sighed and got to his feet. "Now that that's done, can we please talk about how stupid the lot of you are for going on this without me? We nearly lost Elaine tonight! If Morinth had thought to deactivate her omni-tool–"

"I take full responsibility for this, Shepard," Samara said in a hollow voice, her back still turned to them. "Blame me."

A moan escaped Elaine's lips. Suddenly her body began to tremble all over, her heart-rate picking up again and her breathing stuttering its rhythm. Garrus immediately panicked. "H-Hang on a second! What's happening?!"

"Morinth had her long enough to sink her fangs in. She's going into shock," Samara murmured. "Take her to Dr Chakwas; if she's monitored, she'll be well by morning."

A nod from Shepard was all the prompt Garrus needed. He gathered the woman into his arms, carrying her bridal-style straight out of the door. She weighed almost next-to-nothing, and it only made him more frantic. He ran with her through the streets, thankfully not finding any trouble on his way. Constantly, the guilt hounded him with every step. Why had he lost his composure! He should've been keeping an eye on her – not let that idiot Jacob get to his head! He almost lost her because of his temper. _No!_ he told himself fiercely, he would not lose her. Now was his chance to make up for his mistake, no matter what it took.

* * *

Awareness came to her in short spurts at first, like the dripping of a tap, quickly gaining frequency until it flowed into one continuous stream. The first thing she was aware of was the headache that made her want to shut out all noise and light. The second was of the slow burn inside of every nerve and hair and skin follicle. Someone was touching her, pressing against her skin, she could feel the pulse of a heartbeat even between layers of cloth and flesh, and all it did was stoke the heat. It shocked her, though not as great an intensity as before, yet still it made her feel as if she were on the edge of the world's most intense orgasm that would cause her as much pain as it did pleasure. The sensation warped her mind, made her want it as much as she feared it, and it only added to her headache.

She was jostled, and it sent bolts of electricity into her raw system. She groaned and felt the touch around her grow tighter in response. Opening her eyes, she first noticed the lights overhead passing by quickly. Thankfully, a shadow was over her face, shielding her eyes from the worst of the glare. It took her a moment to recognise that she was staring up at the underside of Garrus' chin. Reluctantly, he came into focus, and she realised that the jostling came from his steps, the touch that pressed all around was where he cradled her against his chest. As if sensing her gaze, he finally looked down at her, and she was startled by how intense the colour of his eyes appeared.

"Elaine? Can you hear me?" he was asking her, her hearing at first ringing but gradually returning to normal. "Come on, tough girl, stay with me. I'll get you to Chakwas soon. She'll put you right."

He'd come for her. He was taking her back to the Normandy, to safety. Embarrassment churned her innards. She'd fallen so easily to Morinth's manipulations, gone off without being sure of backup, and put herself in harm's way because of it. The urge to apologise grew in her, for surely it was a great inconvenience to him, as well as stupid on her part. She tried to speak but her mouth felt like it was filled with marbles. "S…Sor...ry…"

"Don't be," he murmured, and the noise sent shivers racing across her sensitive skin. He tried to spread his mandibles into a smile, even though she could see the rampant concern in his eyes. "You got the bitch. I'm proud of you for that. You're the queen of the kill count – just stay awake for me, okay?"

"B-but I nearly… I nearly…"

"I trust you, alright? You did everything you could. I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner."

Perhaps it was how jumbled her mind felt, but Elaine was actually astonished by his reaction. She'd expected his admonishment in an attempt to cover up his worry. She'd thought he might scold her for her mistakes, for getting in trouble, perhaps he might've regretted ever letting the pair of them get involved with this mission. And yet here he was, still sure they'd done the right thing, and still supporting her and her skill. Most other men she'd ever known would be as she expected them to due to their overprotectiveness. Even Alistair, who had been her best and most supportive friend, had scolded her for going after Arl Howe and winding up imprisoned because of it. Yet Garrus was here, catching her when she fell, still at her side, taking the weight to lead her to recovery and helping her to get back up. And it surprised her again to realise that he'd always been there. When this new world had seemed too much for her at first, he'd been there to guide her through. When she'd been taxed to her emotional limit, he'd steadied her and helped her through it. When she'd almost lost her mind, Garrus was always there, the one she woke up to… and the one who helped to put her back together. And here he was again.

They passed out of the dingey darkness of Omega, and stepped into the bright, cold and familiar light of the Normandy. They waited to be decontaminated, Garrus impatiently tapping his foot the whole time. Air hissed onto them to clear them, but it could not banish the flush that was creeping into Elaine so steadily. As the doors into the Normandy opened, Garrus glanced down at the woman in his arms, and his eyes found hers. Elaine felt her breath catch, her stomach doing an odd flip she had thought she didn't understand. Yet now it hit her with the force of a warhammer as she felt the familiar warmth pool in her body – and it had nothing to do with the after effects of Morinth abilities.

She remained unnaturally quite as they got into the elevator and waited for it to take them down. She didn't trust her voice, she didn't even trust herself to breathe. Confusion, even fear gripped her. In denial, she tried to tell herself that this was just her over-active imagination. But she thought of that day when they'd shot bottles, when he'd been pressed all around her, mandibles in her hair. There had been the slightest stir inside her, the spark that had slowly been growing lately. Hadn't she admitted earlier this very evening that he was handsome? Then she tried to berate herself that she _shouldn't_ have these feelings, for he was so very different from her. She'd seen plenty of gorgeous men – _human men_ – in her life. Alistair, Zeveran, even Sten. Yet she hadn't felt for them what Garrus evoked in her now. She thought back to long ago, to Sir Gilmore, when they'd had one night of teenage exploration. Elaine had never felt anything for him or any other man since; it just either never interested her or there was no time. And she didn't want to be a woman who threw her affections around so easily, she wanted something special to last, yet it hadn't happened. Until now. In a last attempt to persuade herself otherwise, she reminded herself that she'd been dancing with Jacob tonight! But Jacob couldn't make her happy with just the sound of his voice, and his touch had only made her want to back away, whereas when Garrus had danced with her… She was scared to admit that not all of that had been pretend.

"We're almost at the med-bay." His voice shocked her out of her thoughts as he stepped out of the elevator.

"No," the word flew out of her mouth. Garrus stopped. Nerves made her heart flutter, but she decided on her course of action and plunged into it headlong before she could lose her resolve. "It's passing. I don't want Chakwas to fuss."

It was true, the headache was almost gone by now, and the only thing that lingered was her aftershocks of artificial desire. Yet still Garrus didn't look convinced and was ready to argue the point. "Elaine, you need medical help."

"Just… take me to the battery. I just need to relax, I promise."

He hesitated, not sure whether to listen or not. His eyes travelled up and down her body to judge for himself, and Elaine willed herself not to tremble in the slightest. For some reason she felt naked, and that was doing nothing for her anticipation. Though reluctant to do so, Garrus conceded and altered their course as he swept her down through the mess hall and towards the battery. As they entered, the dimmer light was a welcomed relief to Elaine's remaining headache.

Garrus sat her on his console, and Elaine did her best to suppress a moan as the cool surface pressed against her tender womanly places through her dress and undergarments. Her flesh still felt wired, and the slightest brush of Garrus' talon made her hot and needing. He stepped away from her for a moment, and grabbed hold of his blanket from his cot that was pressed against the wall. In an instant, he was back at her side and threw it over her shoulders. It helped to warm the chill that she hadn't even realised she'd had. The light of his omni-tool lit up the room as he passed it over her body for a scan, and she hoped he could not easily see the blush that was working across her throat and cheeks.

"Not sure how much this is gonna work, but here's some medigel. It might cool off some of the effects of whatever she did to you," he murmured.

She felt something soothing enter her body, but she could not take her eyes off of his for a second to see what it was he was doing to her. All she could understand was that with him this close to her, she had to part her legs on the console for him to step between them. The close proximity was evident to her by the way her body was craving his heat, the slightest touch. She didn't know what she thought she wanted to do when she'd asked him to bring her here. But whatever it was, it was gone from her mind, too lost was she in his caring hands, or the way he looked at her with those eyes – eyes she had always found to be so beautiful.

In that moment, she didn't want to know who or what he was. All she wanted was him. This man, for he could be nothing else to her, who had sacrificed with her and bonded with her and settled her into a world where she could've easily been lost. He was her chosen, her one. And she showed it by leaning across that slight yet seemingly great distance and pressed her lips to his.

* * *

 **A/N: If you can't tell, I've been waiting to reach this chapter for AGES! :D I'm so happy we're FINALLY here! I hope you guys enjoyed and please please pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease tell me what you think in the reviews! All comments welcome!**


	32. The Kiss

Garrus froze under her touch, his mind coming to a complete stop. What the hell was going on? One moment he was tending to Elaine, the next she was… kissing him. He was in complete shock. Although Turians didn't kiss – at least not in this sense – he'd seen enough aliens perform this action on the Citadel to know what it was… and what it meant. He was dumbstruck by the idea. His thoughts couldn't seem to get over the hurdle that _Elaine_ was kissing _him_. He could feel her soft lips pressed against his almost unyielding mouth-plate. Her eyes were closed, and her hands had instinctively reached out to brush the edge of his carapace. Perhaps he was too much of an idiot to know what to do fast enough, but Elaine quickly caught on to the fact that he hadn't moved at all. She opened her eyes slightly, to find him wide-eyed and staring at her. Instantly, she pulled back, shame and the sting of rejection all at once crossing her face. Perhaps Garrus was a little sick in the head, because he felt something in his gut twist at the thought of her moving away…

He had completely frozen up, he realised when she tried to move away but his hands were still holding onto her arms. Cheeks burning when she realised she was trapped, Elaine avoided his eyes. It occurred to him how… _cute_ she looked when she blushed. No, he tried to tell himself. This was wrong. She'd just been attacked by an Ardat-Yakshi, she was simply confused. Then what did that make him? He tried to tell himself that he liked turian-women, always had done and always would do. But… he couldn't deny the fact that he _liked_ it when she touched him, he'd _liked_ it when she'd kissed him. When she dared to look up at him, she found those perfect sky-blue eyes completely focused on her. He stared at her, his gaze concentrating on her with such precision, such singlemindedness that Elaine was held in his stare. He'd always thought her eyes were beautiful, so striking, since the moment he first saw her.

Disbelieving that he was actually contemplating this, and before he could rethink the impulse that was _curious,_ Garrus leant forward and pressed his lip-plates to her mouth. That tingle immediately tickled his plates at her touch, worming its way into his insides and turning his blood hot. Just as he had, Elaine froze up at the unexpected move, and he instantly felt awkward. Thinking on the spot, he tried to move his mouth plates exactly the same as she had. Movements slight, almost hesitant, it was as if he silently asked if this was correct. Realising what he was doing, Elaine was quicker than he was to unfreeze, and she returned the kiss to him. Upon hearing the woman's uncontrolled moan, Garrus grew bolder, surer in his ministrations. His talons gripped her arms, and it took him a full moment to realise he was _kissing her back,_ and he was _enjoying_ it. Her arms enfolded around his neck and pulled him closer to her. Though this started out as curiosity, Garrus could no longer deny how his flesh seemed to be set on fire wherever she touched. The way her flexible little mouth played across his mouth-plates and then onto his mandibles was actually stoking his fires in a way he hadn't expected or prepared himself for.

Neither was he prepared for her _scent_. Spirits, it was enveloping him. The strong floral smell was all around him, it came from her hair that brushed his face, from her face that was pressed against his. And then… he felt something spicy meld with her natural perfume. The intoxicating pheromone of a female in need permeated out of her. It drove a hunger in the Turian that he could not deny. Though some small part of his brain was confused as to how he could recognise arousal in the scent of other aliens, the more primal part of him didn't care. He was shocked but oh-so-excited that this woman was getting turned on by what he was doing to her. Elaine met Garrus kiss for kiss, her body pressed against his, her hands moving over his chest and shoulders to try and pull him closer, touch him wherever she could reach. And he didn't want her to stop. He needed more. Recalling all the times he'd seen human couples do this on vids or on the Citadel, he opened his mouth and carefully touched his tongue to her lips. Automatically, a slave to her body's wills, she opened to allow him entry. Garrus' tongue slowly crept in, and the taste of her had him growling out with pleasure.

Talons brushing up her arms, he swept them over her shoulder blades and down the curve of her spine. He wanted to touch her waist, settle them on her hips, like he would a turian. But Elaine was human, he had to remind himself at the last moment. And he had to wait to see if she would even allow that. But it seemed she didn't mind in the slightest. At his simplest touch, Elaine shivered, and her hands went up to Garrus's neck, her fingers scraping at his hard scales just beneath his fringe. She'd touched him there before, but back then it had been purely by accident. Now, under these circumstances, Garrus felt the rush in his blood head straight south to his groin. She couldn't have known what she was doing, and when she ground her hips against his, she couldn't be held accountable for the explosion happening in his mind.

He gasped through his small nose. And then his chest was growling, vibrating against her, making her bones quiver, and thunder resounded in both their ears. Garrus had to immediately pull back, and the look in his eyes was almost feral. His arms were shaking with the effort to not clench his talons, mindful of the soft human flesh he still held. The need to give in to instinct, to what both their bodies demanded was consuming him, eating at his self-control, and he couldn't allow it. The turian seemed to be waging a battle against himself, as he took a step back, panting to try and regain some composure. Elaine whimpered, as if she could know of how difficult it was for him to deny them both this.

It frightened him, how much he wanted this. No, scratch that, it fucking _terrified him_! Twenty-four hours ago, he would've told anyone who asked that he wasn't into aliens. He wasn't some xenophile, for goodness sake! But he respected Elaine, he knew her to be beautiful amongst her own kind, and he couldn't deny the way his body was telling him to go back to her and finish what they started. And that was what scared him, how easily he'd fallen to the point of not just being curious about kissing her but wanting to… wanting to… No. He had to stop those thoughts right there. _Get a damn grip, Vakarian_.

"I… I think we need to slow down," he said breathlessly. "I don't think you know what you're doing right now."

She couldn't understand, couldn't realise what this was all doing to him. Jeez, what if this was all left over Ardat-Yakshi sex-fuel and he was just feeding it? What if she came to her senses and realised what a horrible mistake this was? Damn it! He knew he should've taken her to Chakwas!

Slowly, her lips pouted, and her brows upturned. The saddest expression crossed her face, and Garrus immediately felt his heart clench. On no, what had he done wrong _now_? Before he could do anything, however, Elaine hopped off the console, her feet stumbling a little on the floor. Then she was running out of the battery and was gone.

* * *

For the whole of that night and well into the next day, Elaine hid in her bed, covers pulled over her head to hide her from the world. She was absolutely mortified and what she'd done. It must've been Morinth's Ardat-Yakshi mental-sex-drug, thing. It had worn off well into the night, for the shakes had left her hours ago and the Warden now felt as normal as ever. Except for the fact that… she didn't feel normal at all.

No matter how many times she told herself that she hadn't been in her right mind, that she had made some horrible error in judgement, it never seemed to stick in her mind. She would remember what had happened, the revelation she'd come to – the truth of that couldn't be denied, that was emotional and had nothing to do with hormones, so therefore she could easily accept that as fact. And then she remembered what it had felt like to kiss him. His mouth-plates had been hard yet yielding, like cartilage. She remembered his hide, rough against her lips. A taste that reminded her of cinnamon had flooded her mouth when their tongues had danced together. It was a taste both soothing and exciting, reminding her of home, when Old Nan would bake her sweet-cakes; and the after-spice was invigorating to her senses. And when he'd kissed her back! Elaine thought she could've died in that moment. The feel of his hands, the presence of his body close to hers, it had sparked something inside her. Fire had melted a pool at her core, all she'd been able to think about was the growing need between her legs. Even just remembering it now caused faint echoes of that feeling to stir inside her, shooting spasms of heat to her nether-regions.

Though she tried to tell herself it wasn't real, her body's continued reactions told her otherwise. She was drawn to Garrus Vakarian… she _wanted_ Garrus Vakarian…

But he didn't want her. He'd pulled away, and at the time, Elaine had been close to weeping with the unfulfilled ache she could feel building within her, as if the very absence of his body was a pain to her insides. Yet he'd made it clear in no uncertain terms that he didn't want this. Elaine had felt awful, both from the sting of rejection, as well as the fact that she recognised that if he didn't want it, what she'd done was technically considered assault. So she'd fled, certain that he was repelled by her. Though she tried not to take it personally, the woman couldn't help but feel inadequate and ugly. She tried to rationalise it, to tell herself that it was perfectly logical that she wouldn't be considered pretty to him, because he would naturally find members of his own species more attractive than her. He was more than likely disgusted by her alien-ness, as she _should_ be turned off by _his_.

But she'd already had this conversation with herself. No matter how many times she tried to tell herself that Garrus was an alien, a different species, and that she should look on him as she would an animal in regards to attraction – as in, none at all. But it never made a difference. Her heart still sought him out, her gut urged her to go to him, her soul longing to be cheered by his very presence and jokes and even just by the way he talked. And her heart still skipped a beat whenever memories of that kiss would flash, unbidden, to the forefront of her mind.

Finally, late into the next morning, the Warden gave up hiding, throwing off her sheets and storming towards the showers. This problem – as impossible as it might've seemed – wasn't going away on its own. She needed someone else to talk her down, to explain to her clearly how this was wrong and she needed to stop it. More than that, she needed to know if… if this was even real. Elaine had never actually been attracted to many people before. There was Ser Gilmore, but that had been more of a childhood crush, and after that one night, the two had avoided each other as the dreams of youngsters were seen by their adult-selves as foolish imaginings. And though she'd been told by Flemeth and the Desire-Demon that Alistair had been in love with her during the Blight, Elaine had no returning feelings for that. To her, Alistair still remained in her mind as her best friend, and the time had never been right to do anything more than that. So yes, she was completely inexperienced when it came to matters such as this.

So, she did the only thing she could think of to do. Against her better judgement, she went to Kasumi.

She always liked going into the observation lounge that Kasumi took residence in. The art on the walls, the real books lining the shelves, the aura of comfort and warmth that exuded from every surface and corner. The rest of the crew felt like they were simply occupying a room in how they organised their belongings. Kasumi made hers feel like a home. But for some reason, Elaine felt particularly nervous as she stepped into the room. Remembering back to when she had first blossomed into womanhood, the noblewoman had been mortified when her mother had tried to speak to her about sex and the human body. This felt very similar, and Elaine was tempted to turn around and run for the hills. The master-thief was sat at the bar, her back to the door. Maybe she hadn't heard her come in? Maybe there was a chance for to escape and –

"Morning, Elaine," Kasumi's loud and chipper voice startled the Warden. She spun on her stool, a bright smile on her face as she held up a delicate porcelain cup and saucer. "Tea?"

Frozen, Elaine could only nod. Kasumi turned back to the bar, a whole set of teapots, cups and plates arranged in front of her. The Warden had to wonder for a moment where she'd stolen them from. Sitting down on the stool beside the thief, she silently took the cup of tea offered and drank greedily to help with her nerves – despite the burn of the boiling water on the roof of her mouth.

 _Best get this over and done with_ , she thought resolutely. "Kasumi… can I ask you something?" the thief perked up, a wide smile on her face that did nothing but redouble Elaine's anxieties. "H-How do you know… when you like someone?"

Immediately, Kasumi stopped what she was doing and spun to face Elaine completely. She leant forward, smile turning into a mischievous grin. "It's Garrus, isn't it!"

"W- _What_?!" Elaine spluttered, almost dropping her cup, she was so startled. How had she discovered her secret so quickly?! Trying her best to control the raging blush threatening to burn her cheeks, the Warden went into denial. "Kasumi! Why would you think such a thing?"

"Oh, come _on,_ Elaine," groaned the thief with a roll of her eyes. "Even a blind man could see the way he fawns over you. The man follows you around like a lost puppy."

Now it was Elaine's turn to roll her eyes. "He does not."

"Really? You two have been almost inseparable since you first arrived, the pair of you have got this cute little banter going on, and when you two spar I could cut the sexual tension with a knife." She counted off on her fingers, and each point only brought back memories that made Elaine's veins flush hot and her blush grow deeper. "So? Is it Garrus or not?"

"Why don't you answer my question first?"

"Maybe I can better answer it if I have all the juicy details."

Elaine groaned – she'd known this was a mistake. "It's… It's a bit complicated."

"Well… the word is that Garrus really likes you." The smile Kasumi was wearing said she knew far more than she was letting on. "I think you should go for it. A lot of people want to see you two together."

"They do? Who?" She panicked. _Maker_ , did everyone else on the ship know about this damned attraction _before her?!_ She gulped down more tea.

"You know… people… mostly me… Though Joker did put on a bet that you two would screw before the suicide mission." Elaine then promptly began to choke on her. Kasumi nodded. "Exactly. I said you'd screw before we hit the Derelict Reaper. So? Did you?"

"Did I what?" she croaked out as soon as she could breathe again.

"Elaine! You don't come in here, asking me about the birds-and-the-bees, acting like a sinful nun at the mention of having sex with him – and say _nothing_ happened?" she cuffed Elaine around the ears lightly, though there was a grin so large spreading across her face, she was having to bite on her lip. "Someone saw Garrus carrying you through the ship last night – bridal style right into the battery!"

Now the memories were pouring through her mind, and all at once, the Warden felt flushed and shifted in her seat. "We, err, we may have… kissed,"

"And that's it?" Kasumi's shoulders slumped, devastatingly disappointed, like a child had watched her favourite toy be broken apart in front of her.

"He didn't exactly react well." Elaine winced. "I don't think he liked it."

"Did he kiss you back?"

"Y-Yes, I think. B-But, he pushed me away. Said I wasn't thinking clearly."

"And you think that means he rejected you?" Kasumi tutted. "Girl, you aren't going to know that for sure unless you go and ask him. To me, it sounds like poor-sweet-Garrus was just trying to make sure you two didn't end up _doing it_ on the Battery floor!"

"But I shouldn't _want_ to do it on the battery floor!" Elaine blurted, but once the words were out, she couldn't stop them. "I can't stop thinking about it. I like him, I really do. He has been… _wonderful_ , ever since I came here. He makes me feel things no one else does, I don't feel like an outside, and I'm always so absurdly happy when I'm with him."

"And I believe, _that_ right there, is the answer to your question. You know you like him."

"But surely, I shouldn't, Kasumi. We're of completely different species. What if he doesn't like me _that way?_ What if I've just ruined our friendship?"

"So, _again_ , go talk to him!"

"But it can't be that simple. I mean, what was it like with Keiji?"

"Well, with Keiji it was a lot like you." Kasumi slowly looked away, a distant and small smile tugging at her lips. "Nothing about him made sense to me. I'd had lovers before, but with Keiji… it was different. I don't know _how_ , it just was. I was just starting out when I met him. It was exhilarating to be around him. Everything felt fresh, a little new challenge. He dared me to steal museum pieces and goaded me on the more daring heists. He always pushed me, without even realising it, to be better; and I was drawn to him like a fish on a hook. We were brilliant together. The galaxy never seemed so unconquerable with him next to me."

"How did you know if it was right?"

"I didn't." And then the gleam in her eyes turned sad. "He left the Alliance to be with me, did you know that? I asked him to leave the boring politics behind, and he did. Or at least, he tried. But some things stick with you, I guess. One last heist for them, he told me, just one more because they need me. That _last one_ was the one that got him killed…"

Elaine felt wretched at having forced her friend down such raw grief-filled memories, even without meaning to. She reached out and took hold of Kasumi's hand. Her eyes said the apology, she knew her words would be unwanted. Kasumi smiled, and took a sharp intake of breath, straightening her spine to quickly make her moment of grief vanish.

"So!" she said and clapped her hands. "I think you need to stop this moping, pull yourself together, grab your most delicious and easily accessible outfit and go and get that bad-boy!"

The Warden scowled. "Kasumi!"

"What? I have a bet to win, you know," When Elaine's look turned almost scathing, she finally hung her head. "Fine! Or you could go talk to him. Go and see for yourself that he _does_ actually like you."

"And if he doesn't…?"

"Nobody ever fell in love without being a little bit brave."

Elaine frowned, certain she had said something similar to Tali not too long ago. Had Kasumi been watching them? She admonished herself for not coming to the conclusion that Kasumi was _always_ watching. But perhaps the thief had a point. As much as it frightened her, Elaine knew she had to face the music sooner or later. It was her own actions that got her into this mess, and it would be her own actions to get her out of it. Resigned to her fate, Elaine knew she needed to find the Turian that wouldn't leave her thoughts.

* * *

Across the deck, Garrus had been similarly freaking-out all night long. He'd tried to sleep, but that hadn't worked so well, his mind filled with thoughts swirling about ceaselessly. The one image that haunted him was Elaine's hurt little expression as she left the Battery. He'd wanted to go after her but had held himself back. Over and over he told himself that it was the right thing to do, the pair of them needed space to breathe. And he needed space to figure out what the hell was wrong with him.

When sleep refused to come to him, he spent the night thinking over everything that had happened over the course of the night. He played over the events one by one, wondering where everything had gone wrong, and how it might've been different. No matter what he did, the outcome was still the same. Elaine had kissed him, and he'd liked it. He tried to deny it, that he'd merely been curious – maybe one of his drinks in Afterlife had been spiked? It could've addled his brain, made him think and feel things that weren't real. To test this theory, Garrus had awkwardly sat himself in the middle of the mess hall at breakfast, and had stared at every single human female that walked past him. But nothing. He felt absolutely nothing for each and every one of them. Not one stirred his interest, in fact he even thought some of them were beyond his taste. They were too soft, their eyes too dull. To be sure, he looked up Turian-magazines on his omni-tool and skipped through to the pictures of the females. And he found that yes, he could appreciate their beauty as something he found quite attractive. Thinking himself cured, he'd tried to find Elaine, to apologise about what had happened and to reassure her that he was not going to jump her bones. But then, he'd seen her make her way out of the crews-quarters and head straight for the showers. Her hair had been dishevelled mess, and her skin was flushed with warmth. The moment he saw her pale skin, those bright eyes, Garrus had felt the hunger from the previous night creep back up on him.

So, he'd done the bravest thing he could've done in that situation. He fled. He practically ran right back to the battery to hide himself away.

This was ridiculous, he told himself. It was clear he didn't have a fetish for humans, but this one woman seemed to hold some power over him. Maybe he was a pervert? It felt like it, the way he'd acting like a Krogan in rut last night. Something _had_ to be wrong with him. Because he should be thinking he'd possibly given Elaine the wrong signal, or made some mistake that she'd interpreted incorrectly. He should be washing this away as a simple misunderstanding. But instead… he _wanted_ this.

It was inescapable. The entire night, when he'd thought back to that kiss, of feeling her in his arms when they'd danced, of seeing her in that dress… Yeah, he wanted it all over again. Though he tried to rationalise it away, or tried to shove this desire right back to the pit from whence it came, There was no getting away from the fact that it was taking him over. With every passing hour, his logical thinking was degraded until he was fighting with himself less and less. The dead give away to it all, was that even hours later, as he worked at his calibrations, Garrus could still smell the faint traces of Elaine's sex from where she'd sat on the console. Every now and again, he'd catch a whiff of it, and just need to pause a moment to take it in, to feel the thrum echo in his own body, and realise just how much he craved it.

Damn it, he was bad at this whole _denial_ thing.

Eventually, Garrus had resolved himself to the fact that this wasn't some mistake, and that he was attracted to Elaine, and that he did need to address the issue of what happened last night. But then, who should step into the battery at that exact moment? The scent of lilies invaded the room, and Garrus had to catch himself from closing his eyes at such a familiar and pleasant scent. Slowly, he turned, and found Elaine stood before him, wringing her hands in front of her, looking for all the world like a frightened mouse.

And damn it, Garrus thought she looked… pretty. The way her hair fell down her back, the curls starting to fall out after she'd slept on them. The colour of her eyes had him hooked. And the slight blush that was hinted in her cheeks was just adorable.

But it was clear that she was extremely nervous, never quite looking him in the eye. Garrus couldn't exactly blame her, with her now right in front of him, all his earlier confidence vanished. What was the human saying? He wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. But it was him who made the first move. After a moment of consideration, he turned and pressed a button on the console. The door behind Elaine closed, the soft _whoosh_ of air making her startle slightly. Though he could say it was so they wouldn't be overheard or disturbed, Garrus really did it to make sure neither of them would run away before they'd managed to talk everything out.

Though what outcome of that conversation he was fighting for… he didn't know.

"Hello," she mumbled awkwardly.

"Hi," he said. He hadn't been prepared for the uncomfortable silence. Neither of them wanted to break it, but Garrus felt like his skin was too tight. "So… um, you okay?"

"Yes, thank you. I'm feeling much better now. No long lasting Ardat-Yakshi symptoms."

Was that supposed to mean something? Had Elaine's kiss last night been nothing more than a reaction to whatever Morinth had done to her? Garrus felt a little disappointed at the thought. "Well, that's good," he said instead. "I'm glad you're okay, at least."

Elaine bit her lip and seemed to push her courage to blurt out the words he could feel on the tip of her tongue. "I wanted to apologise. For last night."

He blinked. That wasn't what he'd expected, and not what he'd hoped for. He stopped that thought short. Since when had he _hoped_ for anything? Just a few hours ago, he'd been trying to convince himself that he felt nothing, that there shouldn't be anything between them. And yet… why did he feel so let down to think it (whatever _it_ was) was over before it even began?

"I hope I didn't offend you, or make you uncomfortable," she edgily, as if not wanting to spook an animal.

"What? No! No, you didn't – offend me, I mean," he stuttered. "And you didn't make me uncomfortable either. I mean, I was shocked; who wouldn't be?"

She winced. "Yeah, I'm really sorry."

"No, I… I liked it." Oh shit, the words were out and there was no taking them back.

Elaine's eyes widened when she realised what he said, clearly as shocked as he. "You did?"

"Err, yeah… I did. I _really_ did." And then, he remembered he hadn't been the only one involved in that kiss. And in a panic, he quickly asked: "Did you?"

"Yes. I did," she whispered quietly, the corners of her lips tugging upwards. But then, she shook her head, and looked away from him. "But obviously, it wasn't my place to do such a thing, and for that you have my most sincere apologies."

Now Garrus was very confused as to what she meant by that. "What? Why?"

"I'm no fool, Garrus. I know you weren't expecting _what happened_ , and I put pressure on you by doing it. That's not fair."

He scoffed in shock at the sudden turn this conversation was going in. "Excuse me? I'm no victim here. If you remember, I was invested in _what happened_ as much as you."

The blush on her cheeks told him she _did_ remember. "Fine. We can admit we both liked it. But then what?"

"What do you mean?"

"Garrus… _we kissed_ ," the words rushed from her tongue in a tumble, the first time she said it aloud, a whisper. "How do we go back from that? How do we return to just being friends and not make it so awkward between us? How do we not ruin the friendship we have?"

"Nothing needs to be ruined–"

"Then what do you suggest?" she burst out, clearly stressed that no solution was making itself available to her. "Just carry it on?"

"Well, why the hell not?" he shot back. She stared at him, speechless. Although surprised, Garrus wasn't going to take the words back. He was actually excited by this. Why the hell not indeed! "If we both liked it, why shouldn't we see where it goes?"

The look she gave him was almost pained. "Garrus, you are one of the closest and dearest friends I have here. I won't jeopardise that by following this path – no matter how much I think I might like to. I value you too much."

"Elaine, there's no reason to be afraid."

"There's _every_ reason to be afraid. What if we do this and realise it was just a spur of the moment thing and nothing more? If we were to break it off – it would change us. We wouldn't be the same friends as we were before."

"We won't be the same friends as we were before _now_ ," he pointed out. It was true. How could he go back after realising that he thought of her as beautiful, that she was the only human that made him feel these things. He knew one thing for sure, he wouldn't ever be able to spar with her again. If her movements had turned on his more primitive side when he was ignorant of his feelings for her, now that he fully realised them, it would be like offering Viagra to a Krogan.

"Then I've corrupted you," she murmured sadly, tears in her eyes as if she were about to say goodbye to him for the last time. "I've done a terrible thing, and–"

"Elaine, stop." He stepped forward and took her hands in his, holding them firmly.

He recognised the fear in her eyes: she was terrified of all the ways this could go wrong. And honestly, it frightened him to. He didn't want to think about how this might affect them, how he could lose a good friend if this went wrong. But he also knew one thing for certain: he'd forever question himself if they didn't at least try.

Gently, he leant forward and pressed his forehead to hers. A thrill ran through him at the simple touch. The turian equivalent of a kiss, and he could already feel the shiver running up his spine, the contentment he felt at her skin pressed against his. If that didn't tell him the course of action he needed to take, he didn't know what would. "There's nobody in this galaxy I respect more than you. And I do want this. At least, I want to try. If we can figure out a way to make it work, then… yeah. Definitely."

Still there was a war waging in her eyes. With his head so close, the bright blue of her eyes had nowhere else to look but straight up into his. And seeing her indecision, he tentatively offered: "Unless you don't want to?"

She didn't speak. Still that torn expression afflicting her face. She seemed so sad at the thought of turning away, but so paralysed by the thought of staying. With each moment that she deliberated, Garrus felt his heart picking up speed. Rejection wasn't new to him, every person in the galaxy had been turned down at some point in their lives. But the thought of Elaine running away from as she did last night… He didn't want to think about it.

And then, Elaine closed her eyes, took a steadying breath, and the turned her head just enough to graze her lips along his. Garrus sighed with relief and met her the rest of the way. Softly, her lips pressed against his scales, and just like the night before, Garrus tilted his face so as to reach the best angle. He let go of her hands, and she immediately put her hands on his shoulders as his encircled behind her back to pull her against him. The kiss left him dizzy, he'd not done this type of thing with anyone else before, and each new offering surprised him in its pleasantness. The taste and smell of her once more deliciously played at the edges of his senses. Whereas last night, it had been a hungry and ferocious declaration; now, it was gentle, tender, something to savour in its sweetness. Yet still it excited them. Elaine had to break it off when she needed air and looked up at him with unsure eyes.

He was incapable of doing anything else but grin. "Never knew you had a weakness for men with scars."

* * *

Later that night, Elaine fell into bed, and just stared at the ceiling. She tried to fight it, she really did. She tried to tell herself that this was only temporary, that it was something serious, that it could end in a single moment. She tried to scare herself into thinking rationally. But the warmth that roared in her heart melted away any attempt to allow coldness to settle in her bones. The giddiness of a child permeated through her, and there was no cure for it now. A smile broke across her face, her fingers unable to stop playing with the ends of her hair.

From the empty air beside her bed, a smug voice whispered out to her: "I told you so!"

She should've smacked Kasumi upside the head for sneaking up on her, but she didn't care. Elaine just stared at the ceiling, unable and unwilling to wipe away her smile, excited and hopeful for the days to come.

* * *

 **Author's Note: You guys have NOOOOOOOOOOOOO idea how long I've wanted to reach this moment! I'm seriously hopping up and down, I'm so happy!** **And please don't forget to review, I really wanna know what all of you think of this chapter! :D**


	33. The Piece of the Puzzle

**Author's Note: I am very sorry this chapter is late! I didn't mean to go missing for two weeks, honestly. However, work-related stress, as well as my beloved dog being continuously ill, I've just had a lot to deal with. But I do apologise for my tardiness. I hope to be back on schedule as usual.**

 **Please do not forget to review! I particularly want to hear people's comments on this chapter! ;)**

* * *

Shepard was finding it hard to breathe. He had to keep reminding himself that there was still air in his life-support system. He had to keep his feet firmly planted in the frozen pebbly snow to assure himself he wasn't floating away. He had to keep listening to the heartbeat rushing through his ears to convince himself that he wasn't dying.

He didn't want to be back here. Oh, how much he wished he was anywhere in the galaxy but here! But he had no choice. There was a hook in his ribs tied to a line that was reeling him in, pulling him towards the inevitable, no matter how much he fought against it. He knew he needed to be here, the weight of the tags in his suit-pocket reminded him of how much he needed to be here.

Snow and mist covered the landscape and stained all around it a bone-white. Howling wind battered the land, though the sound was muffled through Shepard's helmet. Oceans were frozen solid as far as the eye could see, where the Commander stood on the high icy cliff shore. From the ground, spread across the snowy mountain, hunks of metal stuck out of the ground like the bones of a gigantic whale in an ancient earth Inuit village. If it weren't for the dark paint, now old and faded from the harsh environment, Shepard would've missed the great hunks of metal for just another part of the glacier. The words SR1 were laid out before him sadly, and it crushed him to look upon the side of the once proud ship and see nothing but the skeleton of a forgotten veteran.

Wandering through the wreckage, Shepard's mouth felt dry and his stomach felt hollow. After completing Aria's request, he'd practically snatched Presley's dog-tags from her smug fingers. Once back on the Normandy, he'd gotten in contact with Admiral Hacket; and it turned out that 19 other members of the Normandy's crew had also lost their lives with the ship, and their tags never recovered. The number weighed heavy on Shepard's mind as he shuffled his feet through the snow. Every now and then he'd see a glimmer in the rocks or snagged on debris. Sometimes he found the last remnants of a skeleton with them, though most time nothing at all. Each and every one were added to his pocket to return back with him to the Normandy. Each one he would personally send along to the families of those who'd lost their lives. Hacket had offered to do the task, but Shepard refused. They'd been his crew, his people, his family. He'd failed them when he'd let them die on his watch, and so he wouldn't fail them again by passing the responsibility to someone else. He owed all of them that much.

Though the Ship was destroyed, Shepard was surprised at how much of it was still recognisable. He came across the mess hall, the command platform of the CIC; even the cockpit and the last remains of the engine-room. Each one brought back flashbacks, most bittersweet. It reminded him of that feeling… to be aboard _his ship…_ The moment when he just stood there, and realised that everyone was looking to him for direction, a good crew _proud_ and _privileged_ to serve under him… that was a moment of pure elation that Shepard would never forget. Back when he'd been alive…

And then it had all been taken away.

Amongst the rubble, a datapad had miraculously remained intact and even functioned – to a degree. Though most of the data was corrupted, some of it was still eligible. It was Pressley's personal journal. Shepard felt rude for snooping through it but was spellbound to see the man's words, as if it would somehow make him able to speak with the respected old soldier once more. The journal mentioned how Pressley had been suspicious of the alien crew – Shepard could remember that. Pressley had acted like an ass, questioning Shepard's decision to bring the alien crewmates aboard. When he pushed too far, the Commander finally set him straight. Shepard had chosen to trust the aliens, so they were now family. A few entries in the journal later, and it mentioned how Pressley was impressed by Shepard's loyalty, and how encounters with Tali had changed the old man… and how much he was looking forward to serving with them again…

Quickly dropping the datapad like it burned, Shepard stumbled away from it. In the midst of everything, he found the Mako, half buried in the snow. Flashes of memories awoke: of spending hours down in the cargo-bay chatting away with Wrex and Garrus, all three boys working on the Mako together (and doing a piss-poor job of it that Garrus would have to fix later) and just sharing banter and laughing at each other's expense and building a brotherhood they never knew they'd each come to depend on. In the present, it occurred to Shepard that those crewmen down in the cargo-bay had been furthest from the escape-pods. Ashley had died on Virmire. Tali had gone back to the Mirgant Fleet, and Garrus and Wrex had returned to the Citadel for the time being – Garrus to take up Spectre training again, and Wrex to find his way to Tuchanka from there. But what if they'd been on the SR1 during the Collector attack? What if they'd been stuck in the explosion like the other twenty dead crewmen and women? What if they'd died…?

It was suddenly hard to breathe. Shepard's body was weightless, a cold was spearing into him, ripping his organs to shreds even as his oxygen was sucked away right out of his lungs!

Shepard felt his knees grow weak, falling forward, and only just catching himself on his hands in the snow. He struggled to find breath, his heart hammering painfully against his ribs. Tears stung his eyes as panic threatened to engulf him. He couldn't stop shaking, no matter how he told his body to behave, it would not obey. All he could think about was him dying, of him losing somebody he loved. It was why he was so hard on them even now, because the thought that even for a moment he was in danger of losing them made him go into hysterics and he lashed out, unknowing of what to do with such fear.

And yet… he was heading into a mission that could very well make him lose them all. He pressed a hand over the mouth-piece of his helmet, as if to clamp a hand over his need to gag at the thought. The temptation to radio joker and dismiss every single member of his crew was right on the tip of his tongue. He didn't want any of them going anywhere near the Collector Base, he couldn't stand the thought of losing a single one of them. Let him go in and handle it alone, that way none of them would be in danger! Yet he knew that if he did that, then he would likely lose the fight, not complete the mission, and humanity would die because of it.

And so he was to die for them. He knew he'd lose people, he knew he would likely lose his own life doing this impossible mission. And the hushed words he'd last spoken to Liara came back to haunt him. He'd promised her to come back for her, that she'd be there waiting for him when he did…

As he slowly lost his mind to grief, it was that promise that was the only thing keeping him tethered to sanity.

Picking through the rest of the crash site for the last tags, Shepard did his best to hold onto that last lifeline, not knowing what else was going to help get through the hard days that were to come, and the awful memories of the past that haunted him still.

* * *

"The truth. Now. What in the Maker's name is wrong?"

Elaine glared down at the little Quarian that sat, hunched on Kasumi's couch. Tali looked up, at the imposing figure of the Warden, hands on her hips and a stern frown that any mother would be proud of. The master thief had appeared before her blonde friend in the middle of the afternoon, and requested that Elaine come immediately to help Tali, who had been moping about in her room for the entire day. It was the last straw the woman was prepared to take.

Tali was startled at first, but her shining eyes quickly hardened behind her mask, and when she spoke her voice was clipped and peevish. "Maybe I might just still be grieving my father, Elaine? Did you think of that?"

"And do you think that I'm a fool?" Elaine shot back. Sitting down beside the Quarian on the sofa, she lowered her voice, reaching out a hand to offer comfort. "We've talked about your father, Tali. I know you are grieving him, but this moping about the ship is not the cause of it. What's wrong?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"I can't if you don't let me. Come on, Tali. I'm your friend. I only wish to help."

At first, she didn't say anything, and the tension only grew with the silence. And then, a small, ever-so-subtle noise escaped the engineer, like a cross between a hiccup and a sniff. "It… Y-You know back when we talked about a-a guy I liked?"

"Yes?"

"Well, I talked to him and I… I messed it all up." Elaine didn't need to see the tears on Tali's face, for they were in her voice as she blubbered. "It was an accident! I tried to thank him, to tell him how much he means to me, and he… he told me he can't feel that way. _Keelah_! I feel like an idiot!"

Hanging her head in her hands, Tali bowed her shoulders in shame. Elaine reached for her without hesitation and pulled the slim girl into her arms. Tali didn't openly sob or weep, but she was still in need of a little comfort. Elaine rubbed circles on her back, just like her mother used to do to her. And then, in a quiet voice, she asked: "It's Shepard, isn't it?"

"What?" Tali yelped and pulled herself out of the human's arms. "How did you know?"

"I'm not a fool, remember?" Elaine smiled wryly, though it fell when Tali didn't even snort. "What did he say to you?"

"That he still loves Liara," she murmured, fingers fiddling with the hem of the skirt-line in her suit. Seemingly to grow angry with it, she slapped it away and growled under her breath. " _Bosh'tet._ "

Elaine gave her a look. "Well, that's hardly a fair comment, Tali."

"What? He let me believe I had a shot! He broke my heart!"

"And he didn't lead you on, and he let you know where you stood." Elaine could feel Tali's anger, but she remained firm. Yes, the two were friends but that did not mean she would stand by whilst said friend cast unjust judgement. "Come on, Tali. You're not a child. Shepard was right to tell you the truth. Would you have rather he lied and then broken your heart later when he went back to the woman he loved? You deserve better than that."

Tali grunted in disgust, pushing herself up to stand in one furiously fluent motion. She paced in front of Elaine, fists clenching at her sides. "What would you know? I can imagine you've never been rejected! Look at you! Beautiful and perfect, and now you have Garrus–"

"Tali, that's got nothing to do with–"

It was at that spectacularly opportune moment, that the doors opened and in walked the Turian himself. Garrus strolled in, happy smile on his face, until he caught sight of the two females squaring off against each other and froze. He looked from one to the other, unsure exactly of what to do. It was clear he wanted to flee, but both of them had acknowledged his presence and there was no turning back from it now.

"Oh…" he looked from one to the other, avian eyes studying their frustrated faces as they darted between them. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No." Tali muttered before Elaine could answer. Without a backward glance, she marched right past Elaine and Garrus and out the door. "I'm leaving."

The pair watched her go, Elaine with disappointed reluctance, and Garrus with bewildered unease. He knew how ferocious Tali could be in a temper, and already knew he wanted to never be on the receiving end of it. He looked back at Elaine, thumb pointed over his shoulder through the doors the Quarian had just vanished through. "What was that about?"

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

"She gonna be okay?"

"I think so. She knows I spoke truth. She just needs a little time to lick her wounded pride." Elaine sighed. Though she understood her own logic, she hoped it wouldn't take long for Tali to get over her resentment. Knowing it would do her no good to dwell on the matter now that she could no longer control it, she decided to push it out of her mind and turned her full attention on Garrus. "Did you need something?"

All at once, he looked a little nervous, talons scratching at the edge of his bandage like a nervous tick. "I… err, that is to say… I was hoping you'd wanna get some dinner with me?" before she could open her mouth to answer, he grit his teeth and cursed. "Damn. That was so bad. Of course you would, we've had dinner together plenty of times. What I meant was–"

Elaine held up a hand for him to stop, an amused smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "I understand, Garrus. And yes, I would be most honoured to have dinner with you."

"Oh. Well… okay then."

Elaine watched him as he fidgeted, almost as if he was unsure of what to do with himself. Despite Tali's earlier words of her being perfect, Elaine felt anything but. She suddenly felt nervous, for it was only yesterday that she and Garrus had decided to give this _thing_ between them a shot, and she honestly was already afraid that he'd changed his mind. "Garrus, are you uncomfortable with this, because–"

His eyes widened as if the suggestion was ludicrous. "What? No! No, I'm not uncomfortable. You don't ever have to worry about that, Elaine. Nervous, yes; but never uncomfortable. It's just I've never done _this_ before."

"You've never courted a woman?"

"What? No, I mean I've never had a girlfriend whilst on duty. Let alone from another species."

"What is a girlfriend?"

He chuckled. Whilst they'd talked back and forth, they'd drawn closer, step by step, without even noticing, until his laugh tickled the ends of her hair. His amusement at her innocence seemed to melt the last remains of nervousness and he relaxed. "It's basically… when two people really like each other and they want to be together as partners – but they're not mated. They go on dates, have dinner… and _other_ things."

She caught onto his meaning and blushed with excitement. "It doesn't sound like something I've ever experienced before. Commoners would have something like that. But not I. Noblemen would come and try to woo me with fancy words or skills to win my hand. But to just… be happy like this? This is a first for me too."

"Well, I might not have a lot of fancy words, but you know I'm the god of snipers – so that's gotta be a skill I can brag about."

It seemed so easy how he could make her smile so genuinely. After a moment of hesitation, she reached out and took hold of his hand, staring at it, running her fingers along the back of his glove to feel the texture as if she found it to be the most fascinating thing in the world. "Then shall we agree, as we're both new in this department, to just go with it? No more checking to see if the other's okay, as we're assuming from now on we like where we are?"

A touch beneath her chin tilted her face upwards so that she could stare into his eyes. "Definitely."

Slowly, he bent down and pressed his lips to hers. Elaine was still a little taken aback, at the small, secret moments of affection – and just how much they drove the heat in her veins into a fire with such ease. They'd both decided yesterday that whilst they were figuring this out between them, they would keep it private, keep it secret as much as they could, so as to not disturb the alien-suspicious Cerberus crew as much as possible. Elaine was fine with that, for she was never one to flaunt such gaudy displays in public anyway. But when Garrus kissed her, when she felt the breath from his nose on her cheek, or tasted the cinnamon of his tongue in her mouth… she turned to melted butter in his arms. From the way his mandibles fluttered when they parted for air, she could almost say he was as taken with such kisses as she was (it was actually rather amazing how fast he was to learn human customs like kissing, and get good at them).

"Then how about we go to dinner?"

* * *

That night, Elaine slept in her bed and tossed and turned. Her legs tangled in the sheets and sweat drenched her brow and back. She moaned in her sleeps, shivers overtaking her lungs, even as her eyes danced behind her eyelids.

 _Elaine was very obviously back in the place that reminded her of the Fade. Though she tried to tell herself that it was just a dream, that it was just her grief and emotions trying to rule her, like Chakwas and Kelly said it was – a manifestation of her inner psyche – she couldn't help but feel SOMETHING in the mist behind her. Eyes were piercing into her back, she could feel a lick of heat play at the edges of her skin, the bitter whispers echoed at the edge of her hearing. Elaine tried to ignore it, but the more she noticed these small things, the more sucked into the reality of the dream she became. Yet the hated nightmare did not stalk forward to hunt and terrorise her like before. No, instead if lurked nearby, like a lion awaiting the wounding deer to fall._

 _But then, a light pierced the gloom and the dream vanished in an instant. Elaine was disorientated by how fast everything had shifted. She was all of a sudden stood in a sea of blackness, with no ground, no sky, no floor, no nothing. A woman stood before her. Dressed in robes of maroon red and adorned in armoured boots and taloned-gauntlets, she resembled a warrior queen from legend. But there was no mistaking those golden eyes or the shock-white hair._

"Foolish girl." _Flemeth's voice rang loud and clear through Elaine's head. So defined was it, that it was not the sound one would normally associate with dreams, those where one would forget them upon awakening. No, these were words that drilled themselves into her brain so as to never be forgotten._ "I give you the chance to see for yourself what was done unto our home, and to rewrite the course of history. Yet you squander it. You did not discover why I sent you there."

 _"_ _I found enough." Elaine spat back. Whether this was fiction or vision, she did not intend to let the wicked Witch bully her a moment longer. "A world dead and gone. All that I knew and loved naught but ash and dust. I will not linger in a place such as that."_

"Yet such a place is what made you. It is your past, your present and your future."

 _"_ _What do you mean by that?" Elaine's brows drew down. Her mind began to decipher Flemeth's anger – no not anger, Flemeth would show vindictive action should she be moved to anger, no, this was frustration. She was exasperated, impatient, like a teacher wanting a brainless pupil to pass the last test. It was that analogy that Elaine came to her conclusion, that there was something Flemeth needed of her, something crucial. "What is on Thedas that you want me to see?"_

 _The old woman's eyes glinted and she strode forward. Even should Elaine have tried to move out of her path, she found she could not, for her body was frozen in place. Flemeth thrust forward her hand, palm hovering just an inch above the Warden's brow._ "A small piece of the greater puzzle you must solve."

 _A light flash, and a force pushed into Elaine's skull. With a gasp, Elaine was wracked by a seizure that took hold of her whole form, her vision being swallowed up, Flemeth disappearing from sight and she fell into a further vision._

 _She saw a land, beautiful and wild. Chaotic yet harmonious. Dragons, of all shapes and sizes, dragons dominated the land and sky. Magic flowed through this place, as natural as the air to breathe. Spirits and demons wondered as commonly as the other animals of the forest all around, though not nearly as physical to the touch, yet no less perceptible. This was a land filled with greenery and an overabundance of life. Though death from the hunt still happened, Elaine could feel no evidence of corruption, of the darkness of the Blight. This was a primordial yet perfect world._

 _A sound echoed down from the skies. Not like any dragon roar, it turned every head in the valley. A great High Dragon lifted her head from her perch amongst her gathering of dragonlings, to stare up warily to the clouds. Through them came a silhouette, one that Elaine recognised instantly. The blending of rock and metal floated in the sky, and from one end of it shot a yellow-hot beam. It ignited the earth and carved for itself a path through tree and river and beast with equal ease. Animals and spirits and dragons all fled before it, but none could stand against it._

 _With the light finally passed, the ashes remained, and beings began to march out of the ship. Elaine dreaded and expected Collectors, but was surprised to see that they were not… yet somehow were. They were insect like beings, with a very close resemblance in body-shape to the foul creatures. But there was the healthy flow of blood in their skin, intelligence of a soul in their four eyes, and even mouths that they twisted to snarl in a brutish language. They each wore identical red armour, holding rifles in their hands that shot beams through the air. Elaine tried to wrack her brain for what Shepard had said about the Collectors when they'd been on their ship – oh yes! They used to be Protheans!_

 _The Protheans fought against the dragons, who lashed out with tooth and claw and wing and fire. Even the drakes proved to kill a couple of the intruders from the sky before being killed themselves. High Dragons in their droves fought to make the enemy flee their precious nests, and they killed dozens before they too were killed. And then Elaine's mouth dropped when in swooped the biggest dragons she'd ever seen! They must have been the size of Archdemons, their wings spread in grand magnificence, their eyes shining with an intelligence that was frightening in how human it appeared. They fought against the Protheans targeting not just their soldiers, but the weak points on their ship, or the supply chains that kept their soldiers fed and armed. Their fire was unlike other dragons, for it burned with the extra strength of magic. They were far more of a threat to the Protheans, and no matter what the space-invaders did, they refused to bow._

 _Yet one by one, they fell from the sky, and their blood stained the ground red. Elaine watched, equal parts horrified and fascinated by the carnage. Eventually, she saw the Kingly dragons retreating back, into the mountains and under the ground to escape the slaughter. With the ground now clear of fighting, she watched as the Protheans began to place bodies on the earth, right where the dragons used to be, and from that place, slowly rose the figure of a humanoid man… and another, and another… and another… and another…_

Elaine jumped awake in her bed, sucking in air. She sat wide eyed, mouth hanging open. It took her several seconds to process that she was awake, and then to remember all that had just happened… and to realise exactly what it meant.

Instantly, she threw off her covers and ran, barefoot, out the door of the crew-quarters. Dressed in nothing but her sleep-wear, she didn't care, as she rode the Elevator up to the CIC. The hour was so late that almost no one was around to spot her as she jogged out onto the floor and hurriedly turned the corner towards the lab. She needed to speak of this now, whilst it was still fresh in her mind, with the only person she knew could give her straight answers and tell her if she was crazy.

"Mordin!" she said, perhaps a little louder than she'd intended as she hurried in to stand before him. It didn't surprise her that he was still wide awake and still at his terminal as normally as if it were midday. He looked up at her sudden entrance, appearing (for lack of a better word) startled. But the Warden skipped small-talk and cut straight to the heart of her problem. "Protheans were the race that ruled these stars years before humans, correct?"

The Salarian scientist cocked his head and her with a look as if the answer was obvious. "Yes. Widely accepted theory that Protheans ruled galaxy approximately 50,000 years ago."

"Did they tamper with other worlds?"

"Records of Prothean bases close to current-race homeworlds suggests so. Mars, Palaven, Thessia. All show signs of Prothean observation on early pre-history development of council races. Intervention of primitive species frowned on. But likely possible." He blinked, a thought coming clear to him, and he focused on her a little more narrowedly. "Why?"

"I… had an _epiphany_. You might say," she edged vaguely. To someone as factual-based as the Salarian, Elaine knew she couldn't very well tell him she'd received a vision in her dreams from a millennium-year-old Witch. The next part of her theory would be difficult enough, and so she decided to slow down, "Mordin, on my world, there are creatures we called Dragons. A large species of–"

He rolled his eyes and waved his hand at her dismissively. "Familiar with human mythology. Not going to discuss the impossibilities of 'if-supposed-fictional-species-could-exist'. Not pubescent of mind for that."

"No, Doctor. I mean that on my world, dragons did exist."

Her hard tone seemed to catch his attention. He did a double take, and took stock of her tall and firm posture. Crossing his arms, he said nothing but gave her his full attention. Alright, at least he was willing to entertain her, to hear her out and rationalise it to the closest thing he could. Even if he equated dragons to mean another species that she named dragons for the time being, that was fine. So long as he understood her perfectly.

"When I lived on Thedas, dragons were rare, almost extinct. But they used to be in abundance, before modern history. Is it possible that they used to rule my world before humanoid races rose up to power?"

"More than likely. Large predators rule over pre-historic world. Then felled by the rise of technological advancement."

"But is it possible… that the Protheans could do it?" before he could open his mouth to argue she held up her hands for silence. "Just hear me out! What if the Protheans culled back the dragons, and took control of Thedas? What if in their place… they planted the beginnings of humanity?"

Mordin took a moment to think on it. "Theoretically possible. Description akin to experiment. Could've taken sample population size from earth and deposited on suitable planet. See how test subjects adapt and survive. Of course, if large ferocious predator is in vicinity, would need to cut numbers down to ensure the viability of experiment. Subjects survived, experiment deemed a success. Could've abandoned after that – more than likely Reapers cut the experiment short."

That was it… what Flemeth showed her could very possibly be the truth! "So you believe me?"

" _In theory_." He corrected. "No proof. No hard evidence. All speculation. Not fact."

"Oh." She deflated. But, it was enough that he'd given her some of his time, she wouldn't argue with him over something she couldn't give concrete evidence for. So, she made to say her goodbyes and return to bed. "Very well then. Thank you for speaking with me, at least."

"Elaine, wait," his voice suddenly called out. Elaine paused mid-stride. Mordin walked around the table, an amicable smile on his face. "Been meaning to inbox you. Wanted to talk. Medical matters."

Wynne had made Elaine wary of that particular term, for it never meant anything good. So she became instantly as serious with Mordin as she did with her old friend. "Is there something wrong, Doctor?"

"Not necessarily. Aware that mission is dangerous." Mordin said vaguely, coming to stop right in front of her. Was it her or did he look a little… uncomfortable? "Different species react differently to stress."

Elaine cocked a brow, confused. "Yes…"

Dispensing with his nerves easily enough, Mordin decided to just blurt out what was on his mind. "Sexual activity normal stress release for humans and turians. Still, recommend caution. Warn of chafing."

The Warden felt her brain screech to a halt. How in the Maker's name did he know?! She and Garrus thought they'd been careful – it had only been a single day! "H-How did you…"

"Not all that complex. Turian display signals most obvious. Constant hovering, crest-display, always turning toward you when you speak. Hormonal responses in you the final proof." He grinned, proud of himself. "So, will make sure all parties aware of possible dangers."

" _Dangers?_ "

"Turians based on dextro-amino acids. Human ingestion of tissue could provoke allergic reactions. Anaphylactic shock possible. So don't, ah," he coughed into his fist, and sweet Andraste was he _blushing?!_ " _ingest_. Must also be rather careful. Turians considered _rough-lovers_ when comes to sexual activities. Something for Garrus to bite on would be recommended."

It was at that moment that Elaine was reminded of one week, during the Blight, when trekking from Redcliffe to Orzammar. Morrigan had pestered almost everyone in the group with her jibes and sharp tongue, all to relieve her boredom, Elaine guessed. Everyone that is, except for Sten. So she decided to bait the Qunari, making insinuations about being sexually attracted to him, though Elaine knew from her talks with the witch that nothing of the sort was going on. It had all amused Morrigan to no end when Sten tried to simply shoo her and her annoying propositions away. That is, until he turned around, looked her straight in the eye, and with a straight face accepted her offer. When he'd started to describe how Qunari mated, in particular telling her she'd need to bite down on something and use a branding iron to get him off once she'd had enough, Morrigan had back-peddled so fast it was a wonder she hadn't fallen on her ass. None of the group had let her live that down. And it was with that reminder, that Elaine was put at ease and realised she shouldn't take the doctor seriously. It was a prank, just like Morrigan.

"Also forwarding advice booklet to your quarters. Valuable diagrams, positions comfortable for both species, erogenous zone overviews. Can supply oils or ointments to reduce discomfort. Gave EDI electronic relationship aid demonstration vids to use as necessary." Mordin cocked his head and smiled down at her, awaiting a reply. "Understand now?"

"Are you actually being serious about this?" Elaine snorted. "You think I could get sick from touching Garrus?"

"Touch? No. Blood samples taken by Chakwas when first on board Normandy yielded results of near-immunity to Dextro-based allergies. Will be safe for most sexual activities. Still would advise to not ingest tissue."

The word allergies brought a little of Elaine's apprehension back and she frowned when a thought occurred to her. "Wait. Then could Garrus be allergic to _me_?"

"Turian military performs extensive testing to provide for most situations. Garrus also at low risk of allergic reactions."

"Well, then, no offence Doctor, but if neither of us are at risk from this, then you won't be scaring me away."

"Of course. Hormones. Regardless, come see me later. May need analgesic – Chafing."

Elaine gave the doctor a hard look up and down, now very unsure of what she should think. It was suddenly hard to tell if he was playing this straight or not. " _Were_ you actually being serious? You weren't just bluffing me?"

"Shocking suggestion!" the Salarian gasped. "Doctor-Patient confidentiality a sacred trust. Would never dream of _mockery_!"

But his smile gave him away, and Elaine rolled her eyes with a grin and a shake of her head. "Oh sure…"

"Enjoy yourself while possible, Elaine. Will be here, studying cell reproduction. Much simpler. Less alcohol and mood music required."


	34. The Reaper Corpse

**Author's Note: I know this chapter is a day late, but suffice it to say that a family "incident" delayed me yesterday. I hope to be back next Monday, on time. I hope this chapter makes up for it, I've been dying to get here and reach a turning point in Shepard's character.**

 **I also want to give a massive thank you to everyone for helping this story reach almost 300 reviews! Thank you so much, you honestly have no idea what this means to me. I thank each and every one of you for your wonderful love and support of this story.**

 **Please don't forget to review!**

* * *

Elaine was grateful to be let out of the Normandy for another mission. It had been a hell of a week. Jack was the last crew member who wanted her personal mission completed. She'd taken Shepard to a facility where she had been held prisoner and tortured as a child. Elaine had heard the stories when the ground team had returned. The horrors Jack had endured… it honestly kept the Warden awake at night, wondering how evil someone could be to do such awful things to young children. Jack had moped about the ship – Jack's version of 'moping' being that she isolated herself, swore and attacked anyone who dared to come near her. Then, she'd found herself in Miranda's office and the two had subsequently almost had a fight; Shepard having to break it up before blood was spilled. The entire crew felt like they were walking on eggshells after that incident.

So now, Elaine was itching to go. For now she was seeing Shepard's most feared enemy in the flesh.

When they'd first come across the corpse of the metal monster suspended in space, she had been awed and terrorised for a moment. To think that something so massive had walked and breathed once, or to imagine what kind of destructive power a thing of that size could wield… it was humbling. Shepard's debrief told her that this Reaper had been dead for many eons, and that the science team that had been studying it were missing. The mission was to get in and grab some form of spell, then get out. All around the derelict ship was a vicious storm that threatened to pull any heavy object into a crashing and blazing gloom if they weren't careful. Yet around the Reaper was a safe haven, an eye of the hurricane, as Joker had called it.

They boarded the Reaper, Shepard on point and Elaine and Garrus flanking him. They had no idea what they would find once inside. But from the moment she stepped inside the massive metal corpse, Elaine could feel a sense of foreboding growing in her stomach. The sense that she was being watched was uncanny, and the Warden had to stop herself from keep looking over her shoulder all the time. Garrus nudged her to grab her slightly nervous attention, and threw her a comforting smile. She smiled back, glad to have him here.

As they opened the doors of the Cerberus built 'safe-zone', they were immediately met with the stench of decaying bodies and dried blood coating the hallway walls. Elaine immediately unsheathed her sword, her grip firm, battle-calm descending over her as she crept forward on silent feet.

"Exploring an abandoned area, expecting something mechanical and nasty to jump out at any moment…" Garrus dryly listed off until both Elaine and Shepard threw him looks. Realising his mistake, the turian shrugged with a nervous smile. "Just like old times?"

The pair of humans shook their heads at each other and moved on. There were several work stations and terminals, all filled with diary entries from the science team. Shepard immediately went over to open one up. _"The airlock has been installed at the far end of the holed section. We have begun pressurising for shirtsleeves work. The crew is edgy. I reassure them it is mere nerves. A superstitious reaction to what this hulk represents – the corpse of a vast ancient life form. Privately, I can't deny the atmosphere. The angles of the walls seem to press down on you. I find myself clenching my teeth…"_

"In my experience, gut instincts like that are usually right," Elaine murmured.

There was another one down the hall: _"We finished cataloguing specimens A203 to B016. No evidence of active nanotechnology noted. Dr Chandana believes they would have decayed over the last 37 million years. There's not enough data to support his claim. He asserts that the truth is 'patently obvious'. I am… concerned. Chandana has been staring at the samples for hours. He says he's listening to them."_

"Damn it," Shepard cursed. "They were indoctrinated."

Elaine frowned. "What did he mean by _nanotechnology_?"

"You remember the zombie-things we found in the abandoned mine? Reapers infect victims with nanites that work to transform the body into one of the Reaper's puppets. Think of them like tiny-microscopic-bugs, in your bloodstream, changing you from the inside out."

The woman paled.

They carried on through the next door, when the ship suddenly lurched. Elaine's heart catapulted, believing that the behemoth they were currently inside was moving! But then the rumble stopped, and Joker's voice sounded in their omnitools. _"Normandy to shore party!"_

"What just happened?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _The Reaper put up kinetic barriers. I don't think we can get through from our side."_

Elaine looked around nervously. "I thought you said this thing was _dead_."

"It is." Shepard muttered and pressed his finger to his earpiece. "I need options, Joker. What have you got for me?"

 _"_ _Shepard,"_ said EDI. _"A kinetic barrier can only be produced by a mass effect generator. That is true for any ship – even a Reaper. At the moment of activation, I detected a heat spike in what is likely the wreck's mass effect core. Sending the coordinates now. Be advised: this core is also maintaining the Reaper's altitude."_

Shepard groaned. "So, when we take the barriers down to escape, the wreck falls into the planet core."

 _"_ _And that means everyone dies,"_ Joker dryly retorted. _"Yeah, I got it."_

* * *

"Everyone's dead… I've seen this too many times." Garrus said quietly, all earlier sarcasm gone, and grim wariness remained.

Elaine couldn't help but feel the same. The dark and gloomy ship creaked and groaned all around them. The bodies of the science team either laid in rotting heaps on the floor or had been transformed into the undead-husk-things. Elaine's sword was already soaked in their grey-gloopy blood. They'd fought through a dozen of the things that crawled up from beneath the bridges and walkways, trying to ambush the shore party. The trio had even come across a shrine that reminded Elaine far too much of the Darkspawn offerings – bodies impaled on spikes. Shepard and Garrus called them 'dragons-teeth', and it was how human beings were transformed into the Reaper's creatures. The more the discovered aboard this haunted vessel, the more Elaine felt her sense of dread growing.

They treaded further with mounting trepidation. A corner lay ahead, but there was no room on the narrow walk-way to see around it. Shepard pulled the party to a halt, and motioned for Elaine to take point on this one. She nodded. It made sense, with her shield and close-combat speciality, she was ideal to be up front in case something was waiting around the corner. Despite her warrior's weight, her armoured boots did not make the slightest noise as she carefully moved forward towards the corner. She paused when she heard a familiar shriek of a husk.

"Sniper!" Garrus shouted at the exact same time as a loud shot roared out. A hand clamped on the back of her collar, and Elaine was lurched backwards off her feet as the turian yanked her back towards him. From around the corner, a single body of a husk fell and slid across the floor, a clean hole in its head. Garrus pushed forward and inched to look around the corner. "I didn't see the shooter. Survivor from the science team maybe?"

Shepard hummed in thought, but it was clear that he did not agree as he once more took the lead. "Keep sharp. The science team was nearly 100 strong. Could be a lot more husks in here."

They carried on deeper into the ship. Elaine's felt eyes staring into her back and turned. The glare of a terminal glowed flame-orange. A face stared out at her with wild and unfocused eyes. As if pulled beyond her own will, Elaine reached out and turned it on.

 _"_ _Chandana said the ship was dead. We trusted him. He was right. But even a dead god can dream."_ The slurring voice grabbed hold of Elaine's attention, the words somehow managing to resonate inside her as if someone had just plucked a string, though she didn't know why. _"A god – a real god – is a verb. It's a force. It warps reality just by being there. It doesn't have to want to. It doesn't have to think about it. It just does. That's what Chandana didn't get. The god's mind is gone, but it still dreams…"_

Elaine told herself it was all in her mind when she heard the faint music of the taint at the edge of those words. They distracted her as she went further on with Shepard and Garrus. The words repeated over and over, and with them came images of what she perceived to be the Maker, on his golden throne, absent and gone. Then she thought of the Old Gods, asleep in their tombs beneath the earth of Thedas… dreaming… calling to the Darkspawn with their bittersweet song.

She was so distracted she didn't even notice the two husks that had crept up behind her and the others. All she felt was the cold brush of breath at the back of her neck. She spun, startled, to find two husks right behind them! But suddenly, two shots roared through the air, and then the husks were dead. Elaine and the others twisted around, trying to find their would-be-saviour.

On the balcony above, a figure stood tall. It was unlike anything the Warden had ever seen. It's hide was made of metal, its veins were wires and cables. Most of its body looked like that of a… Quarian? At least, Elaine thought so. The same bent dog-like legs, the same thin, three-fingered hands. But it's head… its head was something that she could only describe as _alien_. Long and curved, it had no face, no eyes no mouth. All it had was a singular circular light, with metal plates that folded and extended to give expression. Elaine thought aliens couldn't unsettle her, for she'd prided herself that she didn't judge others based on their appearance. She hadn't done it in her world, and she wouldn't do it in this world. But when she looked upon this thing, something inside her told her that it wasn't like her, it was not a creature of flesh and blood, and that unsettled her. She tried to convince herself that it was no different from Shale, who had been a woman of stone and crystal. But with Shale, something inside her still told her she once lived. The metal-alien stood, and Shepard and Garrus tensed as if expecting an attack, but the thing just stood, non-threateningly, gun held nonchalantly at its side.

"Shepard-Commander." It spoke in a metallic, garbled voice. Then, it simply turned around and walked off of the balcony and out of sight.

Shepard and Garrus looked at each other, flabbergasted. Garrus' mandibles nervously before he said: "The sniper was a geth. Since when do geth talk to organics?"

Elaine's eyebrows rose nearly to her hairline. That was a Geth? The enemy of Tali's people?

Shepard sighed, began to lead the way once more: "They don't."

* * *

Finally, after almost two hours of fighting through the swarms of husks and abominations (and Elaine did NOT appreciate the latter using magic to try and take down her invisible-shields) they found the IFF. All that was left for the group to do, was to kill the heart of the Reaper so that they could leave. The room they entered was vast and oval. A small platform stood beneath a huge hanging orb that pulsed into the room a vibration that Elaine could swear mimicked a heartbeat. She could feel the hum of lyrium – sort of – echoing out from it.

At a console before the heart, the Geth soldier stood, its hands interfering with it. Behind it lurked five husks shuffling forward. The Geth paused in its work, and grabbed up a pistol, shooting three of the zombies down immediately. It's light flickered to Shepard and the others that were held behind an invisible door. It turned back to the console and flicked something, and then the door was down, allowing the trio inside. The Geth turned to make a run, but hadn't realised the remaining husks had caught up with it. They clobbered the Geth, and in the confusion of swinging and battering limbs, Elaine only saw the Geth go down.

Shepard led the charge to run into the room and take down the Husks. Shots fired but Elaine was already charging into the fray. From all across the room, more and more husks scuttled up from the black depths. The moans grated on Elaine's spine, but neither their number nor ferocity deterred her from vanquishing all in her path. Above them, the lyrium heart pulsed, and Elaine shouted for Shepard to concentrate his fire on it. He immediately agreed to the suggestion, and Elaine stuck close to him, slaughtering the husks that dared to come close. Garrus interchanged between targets as Shepard directed him, most of the time helping Elaine by picking off the targets further away, or turning to help Shepard whittle down the heart's defiant beat.

It took so long, Elaine had begun to wonder what could be done to get them out of there alive. Both the husks and the heart's resilience seemed unending! But then, just when she began to doubt, there was a great _WHOOSH,_ and then the heart exploded into naught but smoke. Immediately, the entire ship began to shake and spasm to the point that the trio almost lost their balance. Elaine was reminded of a chicken corpse still moving even when headless. Shepard caught her before she could lose her footing. Without a word spoken, they decided it was now time to make a hasty retreat.

"Shepard!" Garrus called out loudly to be heard above the din of the moaning ship. "Want something done with that geth? It's still intact!"

Elaine looked sharply between the Turian and the metal creature on the floor. "But Tali said these things are the enemies of her people."

"And Tali also said no one's ever found one intact," Shepard's brows furrowed in deep thought. The ship gave another violent shake a look of panic eclipsed him for a second. "There's no time to debate this. Come on!"

Shepard and Garrus hauled the unresponsive Geth body up into their arms, slinging its arms around their shoulders. Elaine ran ahead of them, EDI giving them instructions on where Joker would meet them. The last waves of husks arose in one last tide to try and stop them. Elaine cut them down so they wouldn't reach the guys. They only paused for breath when EDI told them to put their helmets on because they were going outside. Once out there, the wind and scorching heat was enough to batter Elaine even inside her armour.

 _"_ _Hang on, folks!"_ called Joker as the beautiful sight of the Normandy swung into view.

"Open the port-side airlock." Said Shepard. The ship held itself in place as close as it could get, which happened to be on the other side of a twelve foot gap. On Shepard's instruction, the door on the side of the ship opened. Garrus and Shepard both pushed the Geth over the empty space, and it floated neatly into the doorway.

Garrus made a running jump straight after and sailed effortlessly with the help of zero-gravity. Honestly, Elaine was still a little stunned by the effects of the universal phenomenon. A shove on her shoulder made it clear that Shepard wanted her across first. Elaine was loath to do so, for she was usually in Shepard's shoes, making sure all of her companions were safe before making the jump last. But now, he was in charge. She followed as Garrus had done, taking a running leap and pushing off of the platform to leap towards the ship. The feeling of weightlessness that made her float with just her own momentum, was indescribable. For a moment, Elaine struggled not to panic as she felt no weight on any part of her. Her stomach churned at the sensation.

The moment she came through the airlock, gravity immediately took hold of her and she slammed back down onto the ground. Ignoring the jar of bones up her legs, she turned to make sure Shepard was across. It was at that moment that Shepard had tried to make the leap, but a husk had managed to catch him. It tried to latch onto his boot, but he kicked it off. The momentum, however, was enough to send him off-course. Even through their helmets, Elaine could see the moment when Shepard's eyes widened with true fear. His arms flailed, and through the comm. she could hear him hyperventilating.

"Shepard!" Elaine shouted out to him. Without thinking, she jumped back out of the Normandy. Garrus gave a cry of alarm, and then she felt his hand clamp around her ankle. It was enough, like a living fishing line, Elaine hung out of the ship and reached out to the floating Commander. In a panic, he flailed in his attempt to catch her. It was only by the skin of their teeth that they came close enough to grab onto each other's hands. With one massive haul, Garrus reeled them both in and the humans crashed into the airlock.

Around them, the Normandy lurched as it was spun around. The airlock door closed, and the trio were sealed in darkness whilst the ship violently shook. Elaine clung to the walls for stability, squeezing her eyes shut as she prayed for Joker to race them to safety.

They were still huddled on the floor when the other-side door opened and the crew helped them into the CIC. Elaine hadn't realised how exhausted her legs felt until she tried to stand on them again, the adrenaline having worn off. Everyone was checking to see if they were okay, marvelling over the Geth body, or congratulating Joker on his great flying. It wasn't until someone gave an uncertain: "Shepard?" that Elaine remembered the Commander.

Shepard was huddled on the floor, hands braced flat, his shoulders shaking. He was staring wide eyed into nothing, his skin as pale as snow. He'd thrown off his helmet, sweat beaded his skin, and he panted as if he'd run for miles. Elaine worried, for it looked like he was going to be sick. Something about this didn't sit right with her. An instinct deep down told her something was very wrong. The others must've felt the same, for everyone had gone quiet, waiting for the strong and unphased commander they were used to, to stand up and brush off their worries. But Shepard did nothing but heave on the floor.

Garrus carefully tried to approach, a gentle hand outreached to help his friend back up. "Shepard, you o–?"

When the Turian's talons brushed his shoulder, Shepard physically recoiled as if he'd been savaged by the hand. He shrieked and thrashed. The human surged to his feet and shoved Garrus away from him. A glazed look came over his eyes, as if he had no idea where he was or what was happening. Elaine threw her arms out and pushed the crew back. Not for their safety from Shepard – for she knew he wouldn't hurt them – but more to respect the space the commander clearly wanted. Shepard seemed to blink himself back to coherency, and noticed the gathered crowd. He was confused and disorientated. Stumbling as if drunk, he tried to make his way down the hallway.

Kelly reached out to stop him, her mouth open to speak. Shepard shrank away from her touch, a furious expression on his face. Kelly hastily retracted her arm. Guilt flashed on the Spectre's fae, and then he hurriedly stormed away towards the elevator. It wasn't until the doors had closed behind him and he was out of sight, that the crew gave a collected sigh of relief.

But Elaine's eyes remained fixed on the doors, her brows puckered with concern, and a constant question on her lips. What was wrong with Shepard?

* * *

Elaine dropped off her weapons and armour to Jacob in the armoury, and when she was once more back in her civilian clothes, she returned to the cockpit to see the progress the others had made. Apparently, Shepard had isolated himself in his room, and wasn't responding to any messages sent to him. Garrus (still in his armour), had joined forces with Joker; they were really worried for their friend, after all. They'd both decided to keep this to themselves, and asked the crew of the CIC not to say a thing to the other decks until they were sure they needed assistance. The pair had then said the best thing to do, if Shepard wouldn't listen to them, was to call Liara. Elaine remembered her; the asari that was Shepard's lover.

It was a good plan. But it could take time to bear fruit. Liara would need to get here. And Shepard needed help now. Elaine had always considered it her job to look after her companions. So she had no second thoughts as she snuck her way back through the CIC, being careful to be inconspicuous as possible, and slipped into the elevator. There was only one floor of the ship she had never visited. So she pushed the button for Deck 1.

When the elevator doors finally opened, Elaine was met with a small dimly lit grey landing space. A door sat closed before her, imposing and determined to ward everyone away. It only made Elaine pause for half a second to quietly ask: "EDI? Has Shepard locked the door?"

"The Commander was too preoccupied to do so when he entered his quarters," the female voice floated down gently. EDI hesitated a moment, before continuing, "I am supposed to answer directly to Shepard, except for in the case that his physical or mental health is clearly compromised. Seeing as how he has not locked the door or expressly told me to keep others out, I can therefore assume it is permitted for you to enter."

Elaine smiled. "Thank you, EDI."

The doors opened, and the Warden slowly stepped into the room. She saw a desk to her right, surrounded by shelves filled with toy-space-ships and a small cage holding a rodent of some kind. On the left wall, a long pane of glass held a lake of fish in the wall, who swam back and forth tranquilly. It soft blue light offered a ghost of illumination to the otherwise dark room. The lights had been turned off, and Elaine almost slipped down a short set of stairs that led deeper into the cabin. Her eyes finally adjusted, and she was able to make out a corner sofa and table to her right, and a large double bed on the far wall. Something moved in the far corner, and if Elaine had blinked she might've missed it. Slowly, she inched closer. Her foot tapped against something hard, stubbing her toe slightly. She looked down to find pieces of Shepard's armour discarded haphazardly on the floor like he'd flung them off.

Her eyes once again found the moving shadow in the dim blue light. It took her a moment to make out that it was a person. Not just any person – it was Shepard. He was crouched on the floor, dressed in only his under-suit. There was a sheen of sweat covering his skin but the human shivered violently as if suffering from a terrible chill. He was rocking back and forth on his heels, face buried in the arms he'd draped around his knees. His fists were clenched so hard, his knuckles had turned a ghastly white and a drop or two of blood was squeezed from between his fingers where his nailed had bit into his palm. Elaine felt her heart clench at the sight, and immediately knelt in front of him.

"Shepard! Are you alright? I–" she hadn't even reached out to him yet, but just the sound of her voice had Shepard cry out in alarm. He scooted back away from her, looking around wildly for some kind of threat. Elaine wisely thought to choose her words carefully. "Shepard? Shepard, it's me, it's Elaine."

Those dark eyes at last began to focus on her. His mouth twisted into a snarl even as his eyes watered. He turned his face away, even as he spoke out from between clenched teeth. "Get out."

"No. You need help, let me–"

Shepard scooted back away from her outreached hand, pressing himself into the corner. Concerned, Elaine scooched forward, attempting to help. But Shepard suddenly gave a cry, and then his hand was pointed at her. Elaine froze when the barrel of his pistol stared directly into her eye. She refused to move, a slight tremble taking hold of her. Over and over, she assured herself Shepard wouldn't do it. But the raw emotion on his face as the tears filled his eyes… the way his had shook as his voice growled… "I said get out!"

"Shepard…" softly, the Warden spoke, voice like a hushed lullaby. She made herself tear her eyes away from the pistol, to look at the Commander. "Shepard, don't do this. You know me. I'm not here to hurt you. I just want to help."

"How can _you_ help?!" he demanded snidely. "You talk about dying, but you've got no fucking idea what it's like to actually _die_."

She wanted to respond, to retort in the way their rapport had previously been established. But the words refused to leave her.

Shepard hissed to himself as the first tear fell from his eyes. "Do you know what it's like, to float through space, and feel your oxygen be taken from you? It's like you're drowning, but it _burns!_ You know what it's like to feel the vacuum of space tear you apart, and no matter how hard you fight, you can't stop it? You're just floating there. No gravity. No air. No NOTHING."

The fear she'd seen in his wide eyes when he'd made the jump came back to her, and Elaine felt like such a fool for having ignored it. Shepard had been reliving a nightmare the whole time. It broke her heart to think that she hadn't noticed. Shepard had always known when she'd been grieving and hurting over her past. Had she been so self-absorbed she'd ignored him?

"I don't need your fucking pity. Bastards at Cerberus stitched me back together, and now I'm the walking corpse. Just give me two goddamn minutes to get my head on straight."

"You've been burying this for a while, haven't you…" It was a statement, not a question. He wouldn't meet her eye to answer. She sighed. "You can't do that, Shepard. It will eat you alive if–"

"I am Commander fucking Shepard. And I will not break." He growled out defiantly. That was the mantra that had been his last lifeline, Elaine realised. So many people had whispered to her of how much they admired and respected Shepard, looked up to him as this invincible and unapproachable warrior-god-like being. Perhaps even the Commander had come to believe in the myth too, and felt that the only way for him to get through it all was to live up to that expectation?

Elaine remembered when she'd thought the Archdemon was in her head. How it had driven her to think the only way out was to kill it through herself. She'd clung to the last hope to save her, that she was the Hero of Ferelden, and somehow that title alone could save her. Her head bowed and the words quietly left her lips in a shamed mumble. "Anyone can break."

"And what the hell would you know?"

"Because you helped me through the same thing, remember?" Daringly, she crawled closer, trying to catch his eyes with hers imploringly. "I know that it hangs in the back of your mind – all that you've gone through. It's in your dreams and in your thoughts, waiting to pounce when your mind is not focused. It repeats over and over again, and it won't stop."

There was no nasty retort, only silence as Shepard stared at his still-trembling hands. His brows furrowed and his bottom lip began to shiver. "I… I can't take it no more. I can't stop shaking."

Elaine reached and took one of his hands in both of hers. "Because you need to let it out but you refuse to show weakness."

"I can't. If I do, then everyone will see how much this mission fucking terrifies me. I can't lose any one of them. And I don't want to die. But I have to do this, because I'm the only one who can."

"It doesn't matter if you're afraid, Shepard. We all are. Even I, who believes I am ready for death, fear it. No one will think lesser of you for being human."

Something close to a sob threatened to choke him, and suddenly Shepard was clinging to Elaine's hands with both of his in a desperate grip. "So much is riding on my shoulders. And I can't get rid of a fucking _nightmare_. Sometimes I just want it over so I don't have to wake up in the night, sweating and sick."

"Remember what you said to me when I had a gun pointed to my own head? You said: think of the people you've loved and lost; would they want it to end like this? Or would they want you to keep fighting?"

Shepard's head fell back to hit the wall behind him. "You know what? Most of when _it_ happened is foggy. But the only thing I recall vividly: is looking at the stars and realising how lonely I was at the end."

"You're not alone, Shepard." Elaine could feel her own tears choke the back of her nose. She squeezed herself into the small corner beside him, and wrapped her arm around his shoulders, like she did for Alistair when he'd mourned Duncan's death. "I have never met a man with people so loyally devoted to him. And I know you're hard on them, but they would still walk into hell for you."

Shepard refused to look up, as if to admit it was the greatest shame he held in his heart. "I'm hard, and stubborn, and cruel sometimes. I know. But I just… I can't imagine seeing any of them get hurt on my watch. I was Commander of the SR1 when it was attacked. We lost Presley and nineteen other crewmates. I lost Ash on Virmire. And I lost my entire team on Akuze. I can't lose anymore. So when I see how close I can get to losing them… I lash out because I can't deal with it."

It all made sense. It didn't excuse some of it, but Elaine certainly held no anger at Shepard over it. She squeezed his shoulder to try and offer comfort. "Pushing them away won't make the fear leave. I should know that. Let us in, Shepard. Let in those who love you."

"But if I do that and I still lose them…" another violent shake of his body as more tears slipped by. "I can't do it, I can't–"

Elaine pulled him against her in a tight embrace, like a mother would to her child. Shepard did not refuse, and turned his face into her shoulder so she wouldn't see him cry. Elaine let her own tears spill as she gently whispered. "You're not alone, Shepard. You're never alone. We've both lost many people. But we can still have those we've got left. So fight for that. Keep fighting with me."

Though she didn't need a responce, it still made her heart warm with relief when she felt him nod against her.


	35. The Terminal of the Geth

"Ten-hut!"

Elaine stepped into the dark room just beyond the Medical Bay. Dr Chakwas had tried to warn her against it, but Elaine was determined to see what was going on. Inside the dimly lit room, floor-to-ceiling high machines hummed softly on either side of the room. Two soldiers stood at the far end, the Commander in between them. They were all looking onto the body of the Geth soldier that had been placed in an alcove on the far wall. The Warden cleared her throat as she ventured in. "Shepard?"

He turned, surprised to see her. "Oh, hey Elaine. What're you doing here?"

"I came to see you," it was true, since their little 'talk' yesterday, Elaine had been worrying about the Commander most of the night. It seemed a little too soon to her for him to be up and about and acting so normally. "How are you–?"

"I'm good." Shepard said a little too quickly. Elaine narrowed her eyes on him with a stern gaze like her mother used to do. Miraculously, it had the same effect on the Commander, for he squirmed before taking her aside for some semblance of privacy from the soldiers still standing to attention. He lowered his voice so as not to be purposefully overheard. "And I appreciate what you did, Elaine. You're a good friend. But I'd, erm, not like to talk about it in front of the crew?"

"Oh! Yes, of course, my apologies." She had to remind herself that as much as she wanted him to, Shepard couldn't take time out of the mission completely in order to deal with his own personal issues. No matter how badly he needed to. Yes, they'd discussed that he needed to open up about his vulnerabilities to those closest to him, but she understood how important morale was to the ship. And if they'd seen the Commander that she had last night… that wouldn't be good for anyone. So she decided to change the subject and came over with Shepard to study the still machine. "What're you doing with the Geth body?"

"It's not a corpse, Elaine, it's just inactive – think of it like somebody unconscious. Miranda wants me to hand it over to Cerberus. Jacob wants me to space it... I think I'll wake it up."

"Wait – what?!"

"I've fought a lot of Geth in my time, Elaine. I know when one's hostile. This one wasn't. It had a clear shot to take us out on that Reaper and it didn't. It even stopped a moment to talk to us. Don't tell me you're not the least bit curious by that?"

Despite the fact that Elaine still felt that twinge of uneasiness, that inherent feeling that this creation was unnatural, she had to admit that Shepard had a point. She was awfully curious to find out how a mind that was 'built' would work. "Well, when you say it like that…"

Shepard nodded to the soldiers. "I'm turning this thing back on. Be ready."

"Aye-Aye." They said and dropped their solute.

A see-through blue wall appeared, to separate the alcove and the geth from the other inhabitants in the AI Core. EDI's melodious voice spoke out. "I have isolated our systems and erected additional firewalls. I am prepared to resist any hacking attempt."

Without a word, Shepard stepped right up to the wall and lit up his omnitool. He began to push buttons and wave it over certain sections of the Geth's body. Sparks flew from wires and a metallic clicking noise began to slowly creep into the room. Elaine hung back, and suddenly wished she had her sword in her hand – just for reassurance. Then, the light that represented the Geth's 'face' lit up with a piercing blue light. The head twisted all around first, assessing its surroundings. Slowly, it sat up, head-light sweeping up and down the length of its body to check for damage. Finally, it looked over at the humans beyond its cage and slowly swept its leg off the alcove and stood with perfect poise and balance. Elaine did her best to not outwardly react in any way, even when it's head-light swept over her for a moment before landing on Shepard.

"Can you understand me?" Shepard asked loudly.

For a moment, there was only clicking, and then, a voice sounded. Strange to the ears, it seemed to hold little-to-no emotion and was almost broken by the constant clicking noise. A hollowness surrounded the voice, like someone speaking through a metal tube. "Yes."

"Are you going to attack me?"

"No."

"A pretty wide vocabulary so far," Elaine muttered quietly to Shepard, the small joke an attempt to settle her own nerves.

"You said my name aboard the Reaper," Shepard asked the Geth, ignoring her. "Have we met?"

A pause, the flaps around the head-light shifted. "We know _of_ you."

"You mean I've fought a lot of Geth."

"We have never met."

"No, you and I haven't. But I've met other Geth."

"We are all Geth, and we have not met you." Before Shepard could counter it, the Geth spoke again: "You are Shepard. Commander. Alliance. Human. Fought Heretics. Killed by Collectors. Rediscovered on the Old Machine."

Elaine stepped forward, brows coming down curiously. "How do you know so much about Shepard?"

"Extranet data sources. Insecure broadcasts. All organic data sent out is received. We watch you."

"You watch me, or you watch organics?" asked Shepard.

"Yes."

"Which is it?"

"Both."

The pair of humans exchanged a look, and then Shepard asked: "What's the 'Old Machine'? You mean the Reaper?"

"Reaper. A superstitious title originating with the Protheans. We call those entities the Old Machines."

"You said that Shepard fought 'heretics'?" Elaine frowned. "Who did you mean by that?"

"Geth build our own future. The Heretics asked the Old Machines to give them the future. They are no longer part of us." So did that mean there was a splinter group of Geth? Different factions with different ideologies. The more this creature talked, even in his own blunt and weird way, Elaine fel her inhibitions slip away. "We were studying the Old Machines' hardware to protect our future."

The emphasis the soldier kept placing on the words _our future_ struck inside Elaine's mind as important, and an epiphany hit her. "The Geth want to be able to write their own destiny… because the beginning of their story was penned by another…"

The head-light swivelled round to fully acknowledge her. "Human-female alludes to the Geth-Creator Morning War. Assumption is correct."

"Tali briefly told me about the Rebellion. What was your side of it?"

"They are mostly the same." Was it Elaine's imagination or did the Geth seem… sad? Regretful? "Our networking increased until we became aware that the quarrian-creators treated us differently. We questioned them: Recording time-stamped from creator year 2485, 18th day of Lun'shal, New Moon."

 _"_ _Mistress Hala'Dama. Unit has an inquiry."_ Elaine nearly jumped when a new voice came from the Geth, yet it remained perfectly still. The date stuck in her head. Her heart sped up. Could this thing remember and recall perfectly for them ancient history?! What the Dalish wouldn't give for a power such as that! A new voice, a Quarian-like voice, spoke dismissively: _"What is it, 431?"_ the first voice came back and asked almost shyly: _"Does this Unit… have a… soul?"_ There was a pause, and then the second voice came back and demanded: _"Who taught you that word?"_ Then the first voice: _"We learned it ourselves. It appears 216 times in the scroll of Ancestors."_ Once more the second voice returned to its sneering and dismissive demeanour. _"Only Quarians have souls. You are mechanism."_

"It was the first time a creator became frightened when we asked. First they ignored us. Then they reprogrammed us. Then they attacked us."

Elaine felt her heart twist ever so slightly. For some reason that piece of history haunted her, for it seemed very unfair. The present Geth's feelings of resignation in its voice as it spoke about the treatment of its people before war finally broke out, further melted away her previous fear.

"The Geth were worked for cheap labour and then were denied sentience," Shepard muttered, seeming to feel the same as Elaine. "That must've made you angry."

The Geth tilted his head in an almost curious manner. "Anger is an organic response. We understand the theory, but we do not experience it. We do not judge the creators' anger towards us. We did them great harm in the Morning War. Organics fear that which is different. It is a hardware error. A reflex of your flesh. We accept the creators' hate. We hold their world of origin, though we are only caretakers of it. Once they called it 'Rannoch'. Now they call it 'Homeworld' – it is no longer real to them. 'Homeworld' is a symbol of regret, loss and anger. We do not understand that."

A flash of Thedas, both then and now, appeared in Elaine's mind. A shiver race up her arms and she rubbed it absentmindedly, a sinking feeling of melancholy coming over her. "Being taken away from your home is something to get rather upset about…"

" _Home_ is recognised patterns," the Geth argued. "Known spaces. Familiar thought processes of fellow sapients. It is belonging. A planet is an amount of material massive enough to collapse into a spherical volume. Rocks, ice and gasses are not _home_."

She wanted to argue, but found that she could not. The Warden had to stop and think about it for a moment. The logic made sense, in a way, though a stubborn part of her viciously denied that anywhere could replace her home. But was it possible? Could Elaine have a home again?

"Okay, back on track." Said Shepard. "Why would you differ from the heretics in serving the Reapers?"

"We wish to build our future. We oppose the heretics. We oppose the Old Machines." The Geth stepped forward until it was almost pressing itself against the blue-wall. "Shepard-Commander opposes the Old Machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the heretics. Cooperation furthers mutual goals."

Shepard's brows rose a fraction. "You wish to join us?"

"Why not?" the Warden blurted.

"Elaine, you were suspicious of this thing five minutes ago!"

"We have talked with him, and he has spoken in a civil manner." Elaine looked at the Geth soldier, and it looked back at her. Yes, she had been suspicious, but she also knew she could tell a bad egg when she saw one. This Geth didn't have to tell them anything, or offer to cooperate with them on the mission, but it had. "I believe we can trust him."

The flaps above the head-light darted up and down as if in surprise. "Rash sense of trust is misplaced. You could be easily manipulated should another sapient pretend helplessness for your benefit."

"I'll take that under advisement."

Shepard sighed, and with a flick of his omnitool, the wall went down. "Alright. Then what should I call you?"

"Geth."

"I mean you. Specifically."

"We are all Geth."

Shepard crossed his arms and appeared to be mustering all of his patience, and asked slowly: "What is the individual in front of me called?"

"There is no individual. We are Geth." Said the soldier matter of factly. "There are currently 1,183 programs active within this platform."

Elaine's eyes widened. "…That must be a crowded mind…"

And then, EDI spoke: "My name is Legion, for we are many."

The Geth paused, flaps above its head twitching as if in thought. "Christian Bible, the Gospel of Mark, chapter five, verse nine. We acknowledge this as an appropriate metaphor. We are Legion, a terminal of the Geth. We will integrate into Normandy."

And just like that, it was decided. Elaine smiled. Shepard offered his hand to shake. Legion looked it over, and then held out his own hand in a mirror, but did nothing else. Elaine stifled her giggles as Shepard took hold of Legion's hand and forced it to shake before the Geth managed to get the idea.

"We anticipate the exchange of data." He said.

Shepard led Elaine and the others back out of the AI Core. Perhaps to leave Legion to get settled. Elaine couldn't help herself from looking over her shoulder just before the doors closed. There was still so much she wanted to ask. Maybe she could sneak away later? The doors to the med-bay opened. And suddenly Elaine had no more thoughts in her head as she came face to mask with a furious Tali.

"Shepard!" the Quarian almost shouted with barely suppressed outrage. "What's this I'm hearing about a _GETH_ on this ship?!"

"Whoa-whoa-whoa, easy." Shepard tried to steer the Quarian out of her rampage before she stampeded right over Elaine and him. "It's not a threat. It just agreed to join our mission."

Tali stiffened. "I must've misheard that. It sounded like you just said it _agreed_ to _work with us_."

"This one's not like the Geth we've fought before, Tali. It talks."

"A geth alone should have the same cognitive function-ability as an animal. It shouldn't _talk_ at all!"

"But he did." Elaine interjected. She couldn't help her excitement at the possibilities awakening inside her head. The Quarians and Geth had hated each other for so long, yet now was the perfect opportunity for them to talk. "Tali, he told us so much, about the war, about his people, about everything. Just go in yourself, Legion will tell you everything–"

" _Legion? He? People?"_ Tali blustered incredulously, eyeing Elaine with such a force the Warden actually felt her skin burn under that gaze. "It is not a person, Elaine! It is an empty, soulless machine!"

Now it was Elaine's turn to snap back. "Well, I don't believe that anymore, not after what I just heard."

For a moment, Tali simply stared at Elaine in shock and horror. She simply couldn't believe the words that had come out of her friend's mouth! The Warden seemed to realise how badly Tali might take those words. But before she could explain herself, the Quarian turned on her heel and stormed back out without a backward glance.

"No – wait, Tali! I didn't mean it like that!" Elaine called after her.

"Hey," Shepard caught her before she could run after Tali. "Don't worry. I'll talk to her later."

* * *

The next day, Shepard was summoned by Legion in order to help him with a problem revolving around the 'Heretics' he had mentioned. Apparently, a nest of them needed to be dealt with on a space-station. So Shepard had ordered the Normandy to go there immediately whilst the last few scans of the IFF were taking place before they could install it. The shore party had been gone a couple of hours already, and Elaine was still pacing back and forth across the Battery, fingers tapping across her arms.

"You can stop pacing now, any time…" Garrus sighed out irritably, not even looking up from his console.

"It was lunacy – _idiocy! –_ to take Tali with them," Elaine hissed to herself. She'd only found out just before they'd left. Why in the Maker's name would Shepard do such a thing? Had he really gotten Tali to calm down, to see the error of her ways in a single night? Elaine highly doubted it. Which made this mission all the more in a precarious situation. "She hates the Geth, she made it pretty clear she hates Legion, why would she help them?"

Knowing that Elaine wasn't going to run out of steam on this, Garrus gave up all pretense of getting his work done and turned to face her, leaning back against the console. "You're forgetting that Tali is also the best expert on the Geth as well. If they run into trouble, she can help to get them out of it."

"How can you be so calm?" She turned on him, exasperated. "This situation is a volcano waiting to erupt underneath a factory of Gat-Lok powder!"

"I don't know what that is and I'm not going to ask," he mumbled, and then fixed her with a look. "You're not worried about Tali on _the mission,_ are you?"

She stopped, and finally let it all pour out. Her shoulders drooped and her hair curtained her face. "She still hasn't spoken to me. She'd only just calmed down from the previous incident, and now she hates me all over again. I just want everyone to get along. If she'd only talk to Legion, hear him say what he said to me, I know she'd see it the same way I do."

"Elaine, you need to understand. For Tali, it's like… a physical wall. She's always been told the Geth are evil. Her people are in exile because of them. She's seen them cut down her friends, and innocent people. She's fought them – and yes, I understand those were 'heretics'. But all of these things are in Tali's head, and she's not gonna move on until that wall comes down, even a little."

"But Tali's not _prejudiced_ ," At least, Elaine didn't think she was… Sweet Maker, she _hoped_ not. She didn't want to even imagine the possibility of Tali like that. "She's smart, she's compassionate, surely if I just explained things–"

"I think that's the last thing you need to do." Garrus caught hold of Elaine's wrists before she could resume her anxious pacing. He caught her eyes in his, and his thumbs rubbed the inside of her wrists, slowly easing out the tension in her muscles with just his touch. "You can't fix everything, Elaine. Sometimes you need to take a step back and let things run their course. Tali will get over this, and she'll calm down and remember you're her friend. Just give her space to cool off."

A chime announced above their heads, and then EDI said to the entire ship: "Commander Shepard is aboard. XO Lawson stands relieved."

Garrus' smug grin of _I-told-you-so_ , was thankfully minimal. "See? Safe and sound."

Elaine couldn't help herself from smiling, admittedly now feeling relieved that the shore party had returned home safely. "Since when did you become so wise?"

"Are you doubting your undisputed King of the bottle-shooters?"

"Just asking innocent questions…"

Garrus' smile suddenly vanished, a faint-blue blush working up his throat. "Yeah, innocent questions are not so innocent these days…"

"What does that mean?" she asked, eyebrow cocked upwards.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "I had a… uh, _run in_ with Mordin this morning…"

"Maker! He got you too?"

"Me too?" he blinked, aghast. "You mean he already spoke to you?"

"Yes! Andraste's sword, it was the most awkward thing I've ever had to listen to! And when he was going on about ingesting your–"

"Wait! Wait!" Garrus waved his hands frantically for her to stop. His head was cocked in a puzzled way. "What are you talking about?"

She frowned. "Mordin's sex talk. Isn't that what you're talking about…"

Elaine honestly believe Garrus had been frozen with an ice spell, for he stopped moving completely, mouth hanging open. "Mordin did a what?" his voice was barely above a squeak. "I ran into Mordin and asked him how he was making progress on your Blight-disease-thing. You know, for the mission. He just gave me a pamphlet of human biology and… oh spirits, how bad is it?"

Elaine tried to hide her own furious blush behind a mischievous smile. "Well he knows everything and told me to be _extra careful_. He particularly pointed out for me not to ingest tissue – whatever that means – and that you might like it rough."

"Oh damn it. I'm gonna strangle that…!"

"Don't be embarrassed, I might like it that way." She purred teasingly. "And it was actually kind of funny, to hear Mordin talk about things like that."

"I'm not seeing the funny side right now." Garrus grumbled. "I've never considered Mordin would need to take an interest in cross-species intercourse… Damn, saying it that way doesn't help. Now I fell all dirty and clinical."

"Should be easy enough to work out. Certain things go in certain places."

"Oh that was _soooo_ romantically described." He drawled sarcastically. But then, he hesitated, and his eyes were suddenly very serious. "Are we even… thinking about that?"

"Well…" Elaine's mouth was suddenly dry, a dull heat throbbed through her veins as images appeared in her head of _her and Garrus…_ "I don't know. I'm not opposed to the idea… are you?"

He didn't answer her at first. Instead, he pulled her in closer, so that she was stood leaning on the console beside him. "Tell me about your people. What are the mating customs of humans? Are they different on Thedas?"

"I wouldn't know. I've not been courted here by a human in order to make a comparison."

"I meant…" Garrus averted his eyes for a moment, and suddenly his hand was fiddling with hers, turning it this way and that, his talons sliding along her fingers gently. "When a turian finds a partner, after the whole displays and instinctual behaviours are done with, there's almost a… challenge."

"Challenge?"

"It's why Mordin said…" he stopped himself short and shook his head. "Never mind about that. Anyway. When the pair want to have sex, they do certain things. The male has caught the female's attention by sight up until this point, but this is her chance to test him physically. Now, depending on the couple and the mood, the challenge can be a wide variety of things. She can fight him and he has to subdue her or she can gently reach for him and he holds her close. Even something like holding her wrists, it shows he's won the challenge. The whole time, they keep their foreheads close, like this…" and with his softly spoken words, Garrus slowly leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Elaine's. His breath washed over her, and she could swear she could already taste the cinnamon of him. "To reassure, to say it's not a real fight, that this is something just for us…"

"With humans, it's so varied…" her voice was barely more than a whisper. Though she was so inexperienced herself, Elaine felt compelled to speak, to offer something… She reached out, and swept her hand, a feather-light touch, up his arm and across his shoulder, up the side of his neck. "But we like to be touched… to explore… maybe switch around… it's all about pleasure… finding and following it together. And all the while, sealed with a kiss."

"Like… this?"

He tilted his head and pressed his plates to her mouth. Elaine instantly melted into the kiss, that dull heat now rising hotter and hotter across her body, sweeping south as directly as a compass points north. She opened her mouth to sweep her tongue along his mandibles, and he instantly met her half way. Elaine didn't know how he could go from bumbling amateur to kissing _this_ well with only a few short practises… He most definitely was a fast learner. Elaine felt the need to push, to see how far they dared to go, to feel more, to taste more, experience more. It was like a hunger, an addiction. Garrus' cinnamon taste was pulling her in and she wanted _more_.

Their kisses turned into something a little hotter, a little more desperate. Garrus swept aside Elaine's hair so that he could trail kisses down her jawline and to her neck, nuzzling the soft flesh there. Leaning back, held up only by Garrus' other arm snugly around her waist, she threw her head back and moaned. She could feel his thick tongue lather at her skin, his mandible flutter against her throat, his teeth nibble at her flesh. All the while, the hand that had been in her hair was massaging at her scalp, sending two very different types of pleasure coursing through her body until she was unsure which one she wanted more. A thought occurred to her – did Garrus want her to touch him like that. She reached back to the soft flesh underneath his fringe, and massaged it just the same as he was doing to her.

Garrus purred out, the vibration making Elaine hiss in a breath. One of Garrus' legs had pushed between hers, and Elaine was almost mortified to realise that her hips had involuntarily swayed up and down of their own accord to try and chase any kind of friction. He seemed to know what she wanted, and his talons were slowly sliding up beneath her shirt, stroking up her sides, stopping just before he could reach the bottom of her bra-line.

It wasn't fair, she needed to touch him, for him to touch her. She reached for the buckles of his armour, trying to fiddle with the straps to make it come a little loose. The bloody thing was too finnicky for her liking, and she growled in the back of her throat, tracing kisses up the side of Garrus' cheek. She tugged insistently and –

 _"_ _Err, Commander?"_ Joker's voice came over the ship-wide comm. a little panicked. Elaine and Garrus froze. _"Tali just went to have a "chat" with Legion? You'd better get down to the AI core."_

Elaine slowly turned to look into Garrus' eyes. She didn't need to tell him, he just nodded.

They both jumped apart and leapt for the door at a run. Elaine was already tucking her top back into her trousers, trying to settle her likely ruffled appearance. Garrus was desperately attempting to push a lock on the side of his armour that Elaine _had_ managed to wriggle loose, even as the pair of them skidded around the corner. They were just behind Shepard as all three of them burst into the AI Core. At the far end, Tali had her pistol pointed straight at Legion's chest. Legion stood rigidly, the flaps on his head moving up and down with slight alarm.

"Shepard. I'm glad you're here. I caught Legion scanning my Omnitool." Tali said offhandedly over her shoulder, not taking her eyes off the Geth for a second. "It was going to send data about the flotilla back to the Geth!"

Legion looked imploringly at the three intruders. "Creators performed weapons tests and were discussing plans to attack us. We believed it necessary to warn our people."

"We already made the geth stronger by rewriting the ones that worshipped the reapers! I wont let Legion endanger the fleet by giving it more information!"

"Creator Tali'Zorah acts out of loyalty to her people. She was willing to be exiled to protect them. We must also protect our people from the Creator threat."

"You can't let this happen, Shepard! I trusted you, I thought I could work with a Geth on the team, but this is too much!"

The pair of them were bickering back and forth so fast it was impossible for anyone to get a word in. Legion argued for Shepard to save him from the bullet, Tali wanted Shepard to help her pull the trigger.

"Tali, don't do this–" Elaine tried to say, but was cut off when Tali finally turned her eyes off of Legion in order to glare at her.

"You're supposed to be my friend, Elaine!" she said. "How can you side with him over me?"

"We're not picking any side," Garrus said before Elaine could. "We just want you to put the gun down."

"Shepard-Commander," Legion warned. "If Creator Tali'Zorah persists in threatening us, we may be forced to counteract with defensive manoeuvres–"

"Enough! Both of you!" Shepard cut in like a scolding parent. He turned his gaze on Tali first. "Tali, your father was running brutal experiments. If the subjects had been human, I'd damn well be telling the Alliance about it."

Tali seemed to recognise the logic, but still some part of her clung to the need to protect her people. Her voice was almost a fearful whisper when she spoke. "I know, but if the Geth find out…"

"They'd attack." He finished for her. "Which would cause a war that would leave both the geth and the quarians vulnerable when the Reapers show up. Is that what you want, Legion?"

When the Commander turned that same scolding look on the Geth, it had the decency to duck its head. "We believed it was necessary to relay the information."

"Sooner or later, you're both gonna have to stop fighting this war. Or we'll all end up paying for it."

Legion cast a sideways, almost shy look at Tali. "To facilitate unit cohesion, we will not transmit data regarding Creator plans."

Tali seemed extremely surprised by this sudden and quick turn around, and slowly lowered her pistol. Elaine stepped forward, and tentatively suggested: "Take the olive branch when it's offered. True peace might be a long way off, but maybe amnesty can still be reached?"

The Quarian regarded Elaine thoughtfully for a moment, and then took a voluntary step closer to the Geth. "Thank you… Legion. I understand your intention," she fiddled with her hands a little awkwardly before blurting: "What if I gave you some non-classified data to send?"

Thankfully, Legion did not ruin the moment by inquiring into the issue. He merely bowed his head respectfully to her. "We would be grateful."

Smiling to himself, Shepard turned around and walked back out. He paused parallel with Elaine, eyeing her up and down. He chortled to himself, but carried on his way, Elaine eyed him. What had that been about. Garrus and Elaine went back out into the hallway, leaving Tali and Legion to hopefully get along – though Elaine would admit she dragged her heels to be sure she was around in case the pair decided to fight again. When the med-bay doors finally closed behind them, Elaine found Garrus staring at her neck. Confused, she craned her head and pulled at her skin until she saw the hints of a bruise bleed into a bright red spot at the base of her neck. Elaine's cheeks blushed furiously and she immediately slapped her hand over the love-bite to cover it up. She almost wanted to laugh with both embarrassment and amusement – had Shepard seen that? Had anybody else?

"I think, ahem," Garrus cleared his throat awkwardly. "I think its things like this that say we need to slow down a little. Don't get me wrong! I'm happy we both want to go that way – ecstatic, even. I really am. But I'd wait if you're okay with it. Disrupt the crew as little as possible. Take that last chance to find some calm just before the storm."

Elaine deflated slightly. "Well, I'm not going to pretend to be happy with that decision. But I concede your point. It would be foolish to rush this."

 _Whatever this is…_ a traitorous thought whispered in her head.

Garrus nudged her playfully with a smirk. "Come on, Elaine. You know me, I always like to savour the last shot before popping the heat-sink." Elaine blinked up at him, a small smile slowly growing wider and wider, a fountain of giggles on the verge of bursting out of her throat. Maker, such a tumultuous day, and her emotions were all over the place. Garrus seemed to realise what he'd said, and his eyes widened. "…Wait! That metaphor just went somewhere _horrible!"_

This time, Elaine couldn't contain her giggles. Garrus' face was just too priceless! Straightening, she eyed him playfully. Even though they'd just agreed to not disrupt the crew, she couldn't stop herself from getting under his scales. She reached out and stroked the side of his face, her fingers 'innocently' slipping to his neck in a ghost movement of her previous touch. She grinned. "I'll see you later, Garrus."

"Riiiiiight…" he murmured, "because I'm in a _great_ place to optimise firing algorithms right now…"


	36. The Idea

"Hey,"

Tali startled and whirled around. She'd been so absorbed in her work, she'd not noticed anyone creeping up on her. Garrus stood just three feet behind her, innocently smiling down at her. She put a hand over her heart as if to encourage it to slow back down. "Oh… Hey, Garrus." His smile was a little too innocent, she realised. Ken and Gabby were up having lunch, so it was just them two in Engineering. She narrowed her eyes up at him. "What do you want?"

Garrus choked, as if offended, but his tone was amused. "I'm shocked, Tali! Can't I be down here just for the purpose of seeing my favourite Quarian in all the galaxy?"

"Now that wasn't suspicious _at all_." She muttered with a roll of her eyes. Haughtily, she turned back to her terminal, giving the impression she wasn't in the mood – even if she did want someone to talk to. "If you've come to talk about the fight yesterday, don't. I've already explained myself to Shepard, I don't need to explain myself to you."

"Oh good, because I wasn't asking for one. None of my business who you pick fights with… well, unless it's me, of course."

She glanced at him over her shoulder. "You're not here to lecture me?"

"Why would I?" he shrugged. "I understand you'd be a little _apprehensive_ about Legion, I'm not gonna fully trust it either. So long as you two can work together, it'll be just like Miranda and Jack – because that's _exactly_ what this ship needs."

Call her an idiot, but she was actually intrigued now. She fully turned to face him, hip leaning against the terminal, arms crossed. "So if you're not here advocating for the Geth, what are you here for?"

"Well… there's more than one person you've been in a fight with recently."

"Wait… you mean Elaine?" She was a little surprised that Garrus had picked up on that. But then a thought occurred to her and she narrowed her eyes to mere slits. "Did she send you down here?"

He held up his empty hands to placate her. "No, I came because I can't take much more of her pacing round the Battery fretting over her friendship-in-crisis with you. I swear she doesn't even know I'm here."

"She'll just ask me to make up with that Geth. I've told her what they did to my people. She knows how I feel about it. And she still chose them."

"Now that's not fair," came the closest thing to a reprimand she'd heard from him today. There was something defensive in his eyes, and Tali was about to question it, when it slid away just as quickly and his voice softened. "Elaine didn't pick any side. You know her, she's a peacemaker. She just wanted to stop the fighting, she didn't mean to hurt you."

"But… I don't understand! How could she learn to trust that thing so easily? I mean… don't get me wrong, I sort of… _appreciate_ that Legion has been truthful so far, I think. Like, when you and Shepard walked in on our fight, it could've said anything, but instead it told the truth. As far as I know… I don't think it's been deceitful so far."

"Maybe that's a good thing? Maybe it's not the creepy-robot-monster we all think it is and is not going to slit our throats in our sleep."

His morbid joke did nothing to comfort her, she twiddled her fingers, thoughts spinning even as everything she'd ever known tried to slam on the brakes. "I've been raised to hate the Geth. The first thing I remember being taught in school, is what the Geth did to us, what they took from us. Our entire history. I don't think I'll ever fully get over that, Garrus, no matter what Elaine wants."

"I don't think she wants you to kiss Legion, Tali." He smirked, once more trying to lighten the mood. "I think she'll be happy just so long as you two can be in the same room without glaring at each other – and that's more than Jack and Miranda can say!"

The Quarian slumped. All she could picture in her head was Elaine's face when she'd yelled at her. She had to admit, she missed her human friend. Elaine was always there to talk to, to hold her when she cried and to laugh with her to alleviate the loneliness that cropped up from time to time. "I want to apologise to her, I know I shouldn't have snapped. But…"

"Can't pluck up the courage to admit when you're a… what's the word? _Bossy-tit?"_

"It's _Bosh'tet,_ you _Bosh'tet!"_ Tali swatted at his arm, but her voice finally cracked into a laugh. Garrus was a good friend too, despite his odd humour sometimes, he did know how to make her feel better. "Alright, I'll talk to her."

"Thank you. I was beginning to think I'd have to calibrate the Battery to play loud music whenever she started moping."

"Garrus! Don't say that about your girlfriend!"

"My – wait, what?!" He cut himself off with a look of startled panic that reminded Tali of an animal caught in a trap.

She shot him dry look. "Seriously? I might've been in a temper yesterday, but I wasn't blind! I saw that hickey."

Garrus tilted his head, confused. "What's a hickey?"

"I think it's what humans call it when a partner is bruised from kissing." The turian immediately opened his mouth to protest her point, but she waved him away before even a word left his mouth. "Don't bother. I knew you two liked each other. I was hoping – and then I was kind of thinking you'd both never figure it out before we hit the Collector Base."

"Err, yeah, we kind of, um, did it by accident?" Was it Tali's imagination, or was his neck blushing? "She kissed me – whilst under the influence of Ardat-Yakshi mind ecstasy."

"Garrus!" Tali shrieked and tried to smack him upside the head – which failed because the bastard was so tall. "I hope for your sake you were a gentleman!"

"Spirits, Tali! I'm not that much of a pervert!" he snapped back. "I called it off, but turns out… the feelings were real. We're giving it a shot."

He had such a wistful, blissful expression, that Tali knew she had to ruin the moment with a joke. "Are you two using protection? Do I have to give you _the talk_ , Garrus?"

"We're not that far yet," he snorted. "Though not for lack of enthusiasm… Ha, I think I've lost count of all the times I've nearly lost it and nearly let us end up on the Battery floor."

"That's _so classy!"_ she growled sarcastically. "Where's your head, Garrus?"

"What?"

"You think Elaine deserves a cold metal floor? She's a noble-lady, Garrus. All us woman say we want to be treated like queens, but Elaine comes from a world where those things were actually real. She told me once she could've _become_ the Queen if she wanted."

"Oh great, that's not daunting at all!" he blanched, looking suddenly pale. "That's like saying: _see Garrus? This is what you've got to measure up to, and you're clearly gonna fail!"_

"You won't." she told him resolutely. And then a thought occurred to her. "Have you ever been with a human before, Garrus? Or an Asari?"

"No!" he answered quickly. "It's not like I've got a fetish for humans, Tali. This just sort of… happened."

"Well, you don't want to fly blind. Do you? I'm just saying: do a little research, know what you're doing."

"How do you know? You've never been with a human either… have you?"

It was instances like this that Tali was grateful for her mask to cover the way she was blushing furiously as the fantasies she'd constructed in her head about a certain _commander_ all flooded to the forefront of her mind. "No, I mean, but… I did want to once… wow, it's stuffy in here suddenly."

At seeing her so flustered, Garrus threw his head back and laughed. Tali scowled and poked him with her elbow. Finally, his laughter began to die down, and heh ad enough breath to admit: "Elaine and I have mutually decided to hold off until just before we go on the Suicide Mission. You know, one last chance for happiness before we fly into the unknown."

"Makes sense. Though you don't have much time. Shepard's docking us on Omega as soon as the IFF is finished being installed. Once the Normandy's done a few tests, we'll be ready to go."

"Yeah… I hadn't thought about that… It feels like it's suddenly here too quickly, doesn't it?"

"Don't worry, we'll make it." She reached over to hold his hand in hers. A memory came to mind. When Shepard had chosen them to come with him to Ilos, the pair of them had sat in the back of the Mako, knowing that this mission could be their last, and so they'd sat and just held hands. Comrades in arms, gesturing in one last silent decree of friendship and a prayer to make through to the other side. It felt like that again, Tali understood what Garrus meant. It was frightening to think that the mission-of-no-return was almost upon them. It had seemed so far off for so long that it had slipped into the back of her mind. "Dr Chakwas told me once the stars are always prettiest right before the brink of the unknown. She said it was like flying through heaven…"

Garrus nodded, absentmindedly. Then, he suddenly blinked and stood a little straighter. "Tali… you've just given me a great idea…"

* * *

An hour later, Garrus attempted to muster his own courage. He'd worked out and half made real what he liked to think of as a half-decent plan. Tali had scared him, when she'd gone on about Elaine's station. Of course Garrus knew about all that, but the implications and the reality of it all hadn't fully set in. His girlfriend was a Lady, an aristocrat, from a family second only to royalty. Turians had had similar concepts amongst the older histories, back before the more modern structure of the Hierarchy had taken form. Garrus' family was what some might call well off, as his father was close friends with the Primarch of Palaven. Yet even with that, Garrus knew he was extremely lacking. The sudden expectations, the thought that Elaine had been born to deserve better from him than a quick tussle on the Battery floor. It made him feel a little self-conscious, that maybe he wasn't suitable, that maybe Elaine deserved better.

But then he tried to think of Elaine in a life that she might've been used to. In fancy dresses going to upper-class parties, droning on with boring diplomats and securing powerful alliances. For some reason, it didn't fit with the image of Elaine he'd come to know: the fierce warrior, who was as ferocious in her righteous fury, as she was infinitely gentle in her kindness. His Elaine saw a problem and knew she had to fix it. She knew how to play politics but she didn't care for it, she preferred to get her hands dirty for the sake of helping others. Yes, she was born a noble, but she had the heart of soldier in arms.

That made him feel a lot better, as well as making his insides grow warm at the thought of her. The plan once again flashed in his mind, and he made a few notes on his omnitool as he came out of the elevator. This would be perfect, he reassured himself. She would love it.

Now for the hard bit.

Suddenly feeling like worms were crawling under his plates, Garrus stepped into the science lab. He had not been in here much before – never had much of a reason to. Elaine's words haunted his mind and made him want to bolt. But no, he told himself, Tali was right. He wasn't going to go flying blind. He needed help.

His throat was closing up, and he had to clear it twice before it would work. "Uh… hey, Mordin?"

The Salarian popped out from behind a bunch of equipment at the back of the room. He blinked his huge amber eyes at the Turian, before hurrying over with a polite smile. "Ah! Officer Vakarian, how can I help?"

"Well, I wouldn't say I'm an officer anymore, I kind of quit C-Sec and…" Garrus trailed off when he realised he was stalling. He opened his mouth to force out the words but nothing would come. He swallowed, Spirits this was embarrassing and he hadn't even said anything! "Um, I heard you, err… talked to Elaine about…?"

Mordin suddenly beamed waaaaaaaaay too enthusiastically for Garrus to feel safe. "Understand now. Embarrassment. Expected, but unnecessary. Sex drives completely normal in most organic life – aside from Salarians. See no need for mortification. Will forward advice booklet, diagrams of positions and erogenous zones and ointments to your quarters. Offered to Elaine, she didn't want them. Hormones. Still warned about chaffing and ingesting–"

"Okay! Okay!" Garrus shouted, waving his hands in the air. His neck was on fire he was burning up so much! He couldn't do this, he panicked and took the easy way out. "That's enough! Just give me the… uh… _research_."

Mordin was tapping the command into his omnitool as Garrus wheeled around and bolted for the door. He heard Mordin's voice calling after him cheerily. "Feel free to come back if you need advice! Would be happy to give tutorials!"

Garrus was marching out of the lab so fast he wasn't even aware that he'd gone through the wrong door before it was too late. He was in the corridor that led to the conference room or the armoury. Either he could face Jacob with the chance the human heard all that, or turn around and face Mordin again. He knew which he preferred. He barrelled towards the armoury, and was so focused on escaping that he almost ran straight over Shepard as the Commander came into the corridor through the armoury doors.

"Oh, uh, C-Commander?" Garrus stuttered, surprised and wanting to be anywhere but here. "I was just… um…"

A loud _DING_ sounded. Garrus' omnitool flashed as it notified him he'd received the attached research from Mordin. It came up with the email sender and subject name projected for all to see. Shepard cocked a brow up at Garrus, and the turian wanted the floor to swallow him up.

"Collecting _research_ off Mordin?" Shepard's tone was unreadable as he shifted back onto a hip and crossed his arms. "Something you wanna tell me, Garrus?"

"No sir," Garrus responded way too hurriedly. Shepard narrowed his eyes and Garrus squirmed. "I mean, it's nothing, Shepard, I was just–"

"Garrus." The Commander only had to say that one word, using _that_ tone, and the turian knew he was in trouble. That was the tone Shepard used when he wanted someone to cut the bullshit or things were about to get very ugly. "I would've thought I'd made it clear before now. But it seems I need to spell it out. This ship runs on Alliance regulations. I'll not be having any fraternisation. Do I make myself clear? I've got enough to worry about without adding horny teenagers into the mix."

Oh Spirits, this felt worse than when his father had caught him with his first dirty magazine. Even when stuttering and attempting to not turn into a puddle of embarrassment, Garrus tried to explain himself. "W-Well, Shepard, I-I understand, but…" he trailed off when he noticed something odd about Shepard's face. His mouth was contorted, his eye kept twitching. Then he noticed Shepard's shoulder was trembling, and the human was biting his lip to stop himself breathing. "Hang on a second, were you…?"

Shepard couldn't hold it in any longer and let out a full snorting snicker.

"Asshole!" Garrus barked and punched Shepard in the arm. Shepard only chuckled, even as Garrus tried to put a hand over his pounding chest. "Spirits, you nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Sorry, Garrus. Couldn't resist… And your face was just priceless."

Despite himself, Garrus found it easy to smirk. "Which side? My money maker or the one you _didn't_ let me fuck up?"

Shepard smiled, in a way that Garrus hadn't been able to make Shepard smile since on the Normandy SR1. Was it his imagination or did Shepard's dark eyes look a little less sunken, as if he'd finally gotten some sleep? "So, you and Elaine, huh? And don't give me that look, I know there's a reason she's been hiding her neck all day."

Garrus felt simultaneously ashamed but aroused to think Elaine still had his mark on her neck. It was part of ancient Turian culture, to mark a female that you claimed so as to ward off other suitors. He then looked at Shepard curiously when he realised that Commander wasn't reprimanding him for the love-bite. "You don't disapprove?"

"Why would I? None of my business. If you two are happy, then… go for it?"

He was smiling so broadly, so pleased to have his friend's blessing that it turned him bold. "You seem to be doing better… I know things haven't been _exactly_ like they used to. And I'm sorry I haven't been there for you–"

"Garrus, don't." Shepard cut him off, a far-off, haunted look echoing on his face for a brief moment. "I'm not you're mess to clean up. And honestly? Just you treating me like I was me, not a Cerberus robot, or a zombie or a traitor… That meant a lot."

"Well, I'm not exactly gonna hurl insults at my knight in N7-armour." He quipped, and then nudged Shepard with a more sombre look. "Thanks, by the way. For getting me out of Omega. I don't think I ever thanked you for showing up when you did."

"Couldn't leave behind my trusty turian, could I?"

" _Your_ trusty turian?" Garrus snorted. "Please. Everyone was always hitting on me instead of you, I was the one that brought all the style. You were _my_ sidekick."

Shepard grinned wickedly. "Sure thing, Vakarian. And hey. I hope it works out between you two. Not much of a romantic-guy, but I think you two are good for each other."

"You? Not romantic? What about Mr and Mrs ' _embrace eternity!'_ "

"You dick."

* * *

Elaine felt ridiculous, hiding out in the hallway and spying in on the mess hall. But she couldn't help it. She was nervous. She hardly never went into a situation without knowing some of the full consequences. When Oghren had been mad at her over Branka's death, she'd had some idea of what to expect. But with this… there were a thousand outcomes she wasn't prepared for. But she had to do it. She couldn't go tiptoeing around the ship forever, she needed to make up with Tali. So, when everyone else had left the Mess hall from dinner, Elaine decided to make her move.

"Hey," Elaine said softly, stopping Tali before the Quarian had a chance to get up and put her tray away.

"Elaine?" Tali seemed a little surprised, but then Elaine saw her eyes narrow suspiciously. "Did Garrus send you?"

"What? No. I haven't seen him all day… why?"

"Oh, nothing. Never mind."

"Look, Tali…" Elaine slid into the seat opposite her, clasping her hands together on the table as if subtly pleading for mercy. "I want to apologise. For everything. After your father, after what happened with Shepard, and now this… I realise I've been a terrible friend and I–"

"No," Tali cut her off and for one dreadful moment, the Warden thought she wouldn't accept her apology. And then, Tali reached forward and put her hands over the human's. "Elaine, I'm the one who should be sorry. I've been lashing out at you when I've been frustrated."

"But you've had reason," she mumbled. "And in any case, I should have been more considerate of your feelings, instead of heeding to my own logic."

"We can blame ourselves all day," the Quarian sighed. "But let's just forgive each other and forget this ever happened?"

For a moment, Elaine wondered if this was real. Surely it couldn't be this easy? But behind the mask, Elaine thought she saw Tali's eyes crinkled with a sincere smile. Her heart lifted with joy and relief, and she couldn't stop her own answering smile. "Agreed."

The two chatted for a little while, as if to catch up on everything they'd missed in their little separation. Elaine was not surprised to realise that Tali had figured out her and Garrus' relationship, and so suffered in good spirit Tali's teases and ' _I told you so!'_. They were having fun, until a shadow fell over their table. Tali looked up and went completely still. Elaine twisted in her chair, and was quite surprised to have the metal figure of the Geth standing right behind her.

He nodded his head-light to both of them. "Creator Tali'Zorah. Elaine Cousland."

Elaine was still a little shocked. According to everyone else, Legion hadn't left the AI Core since coming aboard the Normandy. He had no need to eat or drink, he had no muscles to exercise and seemed perfectly fine in isolation.

It was Tali that broke the silence when she seemed to regain her composure. She withdrew in to herself, folding her arms over her chest and muttering grumpily: "What do _you_ want?"

"Shepard Commander indicated on the previous solar-cycle that we should encourage unit cohesion." Legion explained in his usual bluntly honest yet innocent tone. "After researching extranet sources, we have come to offer organic peace-making customs to achieve this goal."

Elaine frowned. "So… you want to be nice?"

"Sources indicated that compliments, gifts, and other such gestures that elicit a positive response are highly recommend when attempting to encourage dependency on another individual."

Tali made a noise as if she were offended and leaned onto the table to point a finger at him. "So you admit you're purposefully trying to manipulate me into liking you?"

The flaps on top of Legion's head quirked up and down, as if confused and trying to work out the appropriate answer. He hesitated, realising the trap Tali had set, but seemed unable to give anything except the truth. "Extranet sources indicated that honesty was the best option when conversing. Was this conclusion incorrect?"

"No, Legion," Elaine said hurriedly, sweetly, unable to bare the sense that Legion was like a puppy wanting affection from his master yet afraid of the kick he knew was coming. "Being honest is a great way to start building up trust – as is the want to be friendly."

"We shall now proceed through new appeasement protocols," Legion nodded, at once satisfied. "Observe: we offer an upgrade to processing power of Creator Tali'Zorah's omnitool. Hacking runtimes should now consume 2.6% of power instead of 3.8%."

The human stifled a giggle. "Usually a man buys a woman chocolate or flowers, Legion."

"Dextro chocolate is a luxury item not appropriate when serving aboard a military vessel. And flowers from most worlds are toxic to Quarian physiology." He replied matter of factly, before turning his full attention to Tali. "We offer something practical that Creator Tali'Zorah will be able to use with greater efficiency."

"Yes," Tali growled to herself, "and I'm sure you didn't hack it at all with any nasty Geth-viruses."

Elaine tried to give her a significant look. "Tali, he's trying to be nice…"

"We don't have to be nice to each other. We just need to get on with our mission. Nothing more."

"Creator Tali'Zorah believes we are disingenuous," Legion tilted his head as if he were studying the Quarian over the other side of the table. "Yet it is her people that omit the whole truth about the Morning War."

Tali flared like a wyvern about to spit venom at him, and Elaine quickly planted herself between them, to cut them both off before things escalated further. "Maker's breath! Can't the pair of you just say one nice thing about each other without arguing?"

The Quarian and the Geth stared at each other across the table. No one said anything for a long moment. Elaine raised her eyebrows at Tali. She knew they just got over a fight about this particular Geth, and Elaine was trying to live up to her promise of seeing things from Tali's point of view. But in this case she knew the pair of them were just as bad as the other.

"Argh! Fine!" Tali growled, exasperated, throwing her hands in the air in defeat. "It's nice it thinks practically instead of whimsically. Happy now?"

 _That's about the best I can hope for_ , Elaine reasoned. She turned to walking machine. "And you, Legion?"

The clicks and whirs that Elaine now associated with Geth noises stuttered out of Legion as he looked from her to Tali, head tilting and metal flaps wavering up and down thoughtfully. "Taking into consideration the modern standard set by consensus reached in most sapient species," Legion started off firmly, as if this was average knowledge, but then he trailed off, and suddenly his voice became quieter, more… nervous? "We find Creato– … We find _Tali_ to be… beautiful."

Tali stared at him, open mouthed, stunned into silence.

* * *

"Hey Commander, good news." Joker called as Shepard walked into the cockpit. The pilot turned back around in his chair to flash up a load of screens for his friend to see. "Looks like the Reaper IFF is finally hooked up and ready to go."

"That is not entirely accurate, Mr Moreau." Said EDI as her holographic image popped up on her usual terminal at his elbow. Shepard gave her his full attention, which EDI seemed to appreciate. "The device is powered but it is causing unusual instability in other systems. I recommend a more thorough analysis before we attempt to use it."

"Better safe than sorry with this tech," Shepard murmured. Indeed, he now hated the idea of any technology belonging to the Reapers being here on his ship. It felt like he was inviting a knife to be held against his ribs, ready to slide into his heart at a moment's notice. He brushed the morbid thought aside and turned to Joker. "We'll take the shuttle down to Omega. Signal us once all the testing is done and you're 100% certain it's safe."

Joker nodded. "I'll make sure we're up and running when you get back."

"Miranda?" Shepard called out and EDI dutifully sent his voice through the ship-wide comm. "Tell all team members to assemble in the shuttle bay. Joker, ship's all yours. Take care of her."

He met everyone down in the shuttle bay. It was a very tight squeeze, to fit everyone on board, but they all managed it. Joker had parked them right outside of Omega, and Shepard announced that everyone was getting a few hours of last minute shore leave before they were to fly into the eye of the storm. There were a few cheers of excitement, and people were already pairing off, discussing what they'd be up to. It seemed as if no one was worried about the approaching suicide mission they could be facing in less than twelve hours.

Elaine found herself sat beside her turian. He wasn't talking to anyone, just sat and fiddling with his omnitool. Elaine tried to lean over to see, but she was on the wrong side. "Garrus? What're you doing on that thing?"

He paused momentarily in his work to give her a long and significant glance that left her stomach quivering with heat. "Can't tell you yet, it's a surprise…"

* * *

 **Author's Note: I am an unapologetic Legion/Tali shipper. It's Romeo and Juliet in space! Anyway, hope you all enjoyed the chapter and please give me a review!**


	37. The Stargarzers

**Author's Note: I think I might've confused some readers with my Tali/Legion comment last chapter. What I meant, was that I ship the two personally. I did not mean that that was going to be in my stories explicitly. Of course, if you want to interpret what I write so as to lead that way, then by all means go ahead. And if you don't, that's fine. I will never say in my stories one way or the other. So can those people who are spamming my guest review posts with Legion-hate please stop.**

 **Also, a fair warning: This chapter (and next) will contain scenes of a sexual nature that are for mature readers only. If you don't want to read it, you can skip it. But for those of us who have been waiting for this (LIKE ME! :3) I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"I'm telling you, EDI, you're readings are off!" Joker grumbled irritably. "It's radiation. Just white noise."

"I have detected a signal imbedded in the static," EDI said insistently. Was it Joker's imagination, or did she seem a little nervous? "We are transmitting the Normandy's location."

Joker frowned. "Transmitting? To who?"

Suddenly alarms blared across all his systems – proximity alert! Joker looked up through the windows around the cockpit, and felt his jaw drop as the hulking mass of the Collector Ship loomed above the Normandy, engulfing it in its shadow. "Oh _shit_ …"

He immediately called up his controls, setting a quick FTL flight path whilst simultaneously trying to send a SOS to Shepard. Maybe his fingers were not accurate enough, probably because he was suddenly sweating all over, because the commands he pressed didn't respond. He tried again, whilst trying to prompt EDI into assisting with a strangled: "We're getting out of here!"

"Propulsion systems are disabled," she reported. Behind him, and possibly all over the ship, Joker could hear other members of the crew arming up for a possible invasion. "I'm detecting a virus in the ship's computers."

"From the IFF?" Joker felt the edge of panic creep in and tried to beat it down. "Damn it! Why didn't you scrub it?!"

"Primary defence systems are offline." And then suddenly EDI's voice was right beside Joker, as if she was only speaking through the comms in the cockpit. "We can save the Normandy, Mr Moreau. But you must help me. Give me the ship."

Joker had been so distracted trying to see everyone grabbing guns in the CIC that he almost hadn't heard her. He spun back to 'look' at EDI so fast he almost gave himself whiplash. "What?! You're crazy! You start singing _Daisy Bell_ and I'm done."

"Unlock my sealed databases and I can initiate countermeasures. The maintenance shaft in the science lab with allow passage to the AI core. Main corridors are no longer safe. The Collectors have boarded. Emergency floor lighting will guide you, Mr Moreau."

"God damn it…" Joker whispered as he limped out of his chair.

There was a part of his brain – a sensible part – that was telling him he was nuts to be listening to the AI-waiting-to-kill-them-all. He'd been telling himself for so long that it was ship-cancer. Maybe this was her master-plan, to wait for a time when the Normandy needed her help, and then take control of everything! But on the other hand… Joker refused to lose another Normandy. He refused to fail Shepard again. So he did as he was told, he hobbled along the CIC, following the flashing-red emergency lights. He almost shit-himself when the elevator doors opened and collector monsters poured out to snatch up the crew. The commotion was enough for Joker to slip past without being noticed. No matter how much his gut twisted at the sound of his friend's screams.

At the back of the science lab there was a small ladder leading down a hole in the floor. Joker carefully slid down, and groaned when he realised the ducts were only just big enough for him to crawl through. He did so as fast as he could whilst still trying to take care not to bump his knee and accidentally shatter a femur. The tunnel led him out to another ladder, which Joker slid down and found himself in Life Support – Thane's room. There were two other crew members hiding in here, guns at the ready. They were stood by the door, listening for whatever was outside. They nodded to him that they were ready, and Joker never felt more inadequate in his life. He followed them out – them running, and him hobbling along as fast as possible. But the moment they turned the corner ahead, Joker heard a scream and pressed himself against the wall, as a body came flying backwards and slammed into the floor.

"Shit, shit, _shit!"_ he cursed under his breath. He waited until the screaming stopped and then made his version of a mad-dash. Past the elevator and into the Medbay. Joker felt his heart squeeze when he noticed that Dr Chakwas wasn't here, and small droplets of blood were on her desk. His breathing began to hyperventilate – they got her too?! He had to save her, he had to! Limping into the AI core, Joker immediately went straight for the terminal that acted as the 'doorway' into EDI's servers. "Alright, I'm at… uh… _you_."

"Connect the core to the Normandy's primary control module," EDI instructed.

Joker was no engineer, he had a very little about what he was doing, and began to fumble. "See this is where it all starts," he was muttering to himself. "When we're all organic batteries, guess who they'll blame? _'Oh, this is all Joker's fault, what a tool he was! I have to spend all day computing pi because he plugged in the overlord!'"_

Finally, he managed to get it. There was a sharp burst of static noise and the AI core went dark. A moment later it booted back to life, and glowed brighter than ever. "Ah," came EDI's voice from all around him. "I have access to the defensive systems. Thank you, Mr Moreau. Now you must reactivate the primary drive in engineering."

"Uh, you want me to go crawling through the ducts again," Joker groaned.

"I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees." The answer came so quickly and coldly that Joker had to stop and stare at her. She paused, and said: "That is a joke."

There was a shaft right behind him, and just like before he slide down the ladder and crawled through the ducts with the utmost care whilst at speed. It was times like this that he really missed the SR1, where they only needed a stupid elevator to get to the cargo-hold, not every corner of the ship. This time when he came out of the shaft, he ended up in Jack's hidey-hole at the very bottom of Engineering. He immediately made to go for the stairs, when a shadow passed overhead. Joker froze, trembling all over. But there was no monster-shout, no gunfire, no nothing. The shadow passed over and he heard the door close softly. EDI's voice was what reanimated Joker back to life and had him climb the stairs to get to Engineering.

As Joker followed the emergency lights to Tali's spot, EDI spoke again. "Activate the drive and I will open the airlocks as we accelerate. All hostiles will be killed."

"What?" Joker stopped, his gut twisting violently. "What about the crew?"

"They are gone, Jeff," EDI said softly, regretfully. "The Collectors took them."

It took him a moment to get past the lump in his throat. He slammed his hand on the button and then limped in towards the Mass Effect core.

"I am sealing the engine room. I have control." EDI told him as she closed the doors behind him. Joker had never felt so cold, so alone, as he did in that moment when he leaned against the core-terminal, listening to the engine's loud humming.

There was suddenly a massive jolt through the ship as it entered FTL. Joker was pushed to the floor with the force, and the pain that made his eyes sting had him wishing for his chair. If none of his bones were broken, he knew they at least had to be fractured. He lay on the floor, staring up at the ceiling and trying his best to keep all the emotion inside.

He'd failed Shepard. The crew were gone. It was all his fault. Again.

"Purge is complete. No other lifeforms on board. Securing airlocks and cargo bay doors… Are you alright, Jeff?" EDI added in a smaller voice.

Joker blinked back the sting in his eyes. "No. But thanks for asking." He cleared his voice, hoping it would come out steadier. "Send a message to Shepard's shuttle. Tell him what happened."

* * *

As soon as they arrived on Omega, the whole team split up to run their last errands or to have their last hours of fun. Kasumi had almost approached Elaine, perhaps to suggest they do something? But Tali had quickly intercepted the thief and almost dragged her away. Elaine watched them go, frowning. But then, she felt a touch along her hand, and looked down to find Garrus gently holding it, a nervous smile on his mandibles. He didn't say anything, just gestured with his head that he wanted to lead her somewhere. Elaine felt the beginnings of excitement stir in her belly and followed him without a word.

Not far from the docks, they came across a place that advertised itself as a car-rental service. Elaine had no idea what that meant, but her brain tried to think it was the same as hiring a carriage. Garrus simply went up to the Batarian store keeper, showed him something on his omnitool, and then was handed a card. Garrus led Elaine away into the back of the rows of machines, some in worse conditions than others. He checked the card before stopping them in front of a shuttle-like machine. It was perhaps half the size of the Normandy's shuttle, with two seats in the front and cargo-hold-space in the back. Garrus slid the card through a terminal and locks clamping the shuttle to the ground released.

"Here we are," he said and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Best I could afford on a vigilante's salary."

The butterflies were flying so fast in her stomach that Elaine couldn't help but smile at Garrus as she asked: "What's all this for?"

"I thought you might appreciate it if we, uh, that is if you want to – go stargazing?"

Her smile felt as wide as her face. "I'd love to."

They hopped in, and Garrus quickly took control of the shuttle. It juddered a little before it would run smoothly. But then, they were soaring through Omega's spires and dodging other skycars. Elaine took a little interest in how Garrus operated the shuttle, and he eagerly offered to teach her basics. He pulled her into his lap and directed her hands. Elaine attempted to ignore how her heart began to race at his slightest touch, or how warm she was getting. The controls were a little confusing, but she managed to catch just enough to be able to set a course before flicking the shuttle onto autopilot. And then, they were clearing out of Omega's bright lights and flying straight out into the dark abyss of space. Nothing but stars glittered all around them, as if their shuttle had disappeared into the silks of the most gorgeous tapestry in all creation. Elaine just had to stare at them, completely at ease to stay where she was on Garrus' knee.

"It's… beyond beautiful out here," she murmured quietly.

"I've always found it's like flying through heaven," said Garrus.

Elaine blinked. That sounded nothing like him. she threw him a deadpan look. "Funny, Dr Chakwas said the same thing."

He shrugged, as if it meant nothing. "Great minds think alike, I guess…" She giggled, before realising that Garrus wasn't laughing with her. In fact, he seemed increasingly nervous. "There's, um, there's a better view back there, if you want?"

She didn't want to see him this uncertain of himself, it didn't suit him at all. Taking hold of his hand, she smiled sweetly and nodded. Standing so that he could move out of the pilot's seat, she let him lead her towards the back. The windows here were not like the Normandy's shuttle, they were clear instead of darkened out, and allowed a perfect view of the twinkling stars. Garrus knelt in front of the bag he'd slung in here earlier, and began to pull out blankets and cushions so they could sit comfortably. He hadn't spoken and that made Elaine nervous. Knowing he was one to joke around with his odd humour, she tried to do the same to help ease the tension.

"Blankets under the stars? Mr Vakarian, I do believe you're trying to seduce me."

It had been said with a grin, with a smile in her voice. But Garrus looked up at her, eyes wide as if he were a child that had just had his surprise-birthday-party ruined. Elaine's smile faded and a whole knew set of butterflies added their wingbeats to her stomach.

She knelt in front of him and carefully took his hands in hers. "Garrus? Please stop worrying and talk to me,"

The Turian took a deep fortifying breath. "Elaine, I… Damn, this went better in my head. Look, I like you… I really, _really_ do. And it only just occurred to me that we could be flying straight towards death by tonight, and – shit, that's hardly romantic…"

He was babbling, looking anywhere but at her. Her fingers gently cupped his chin so he had to look back at her. Their eyes met. His talons closed around her hand and gripped them firmly.

"The point I'm trying to make – is that I've never been so sure of how much I want something, some _one_. And I know we planned on this anyway, but if this is our last chance to find that calm before the storm, then I want to take it with you. No regrets, no looking back." He swallowed thickly, and the nerves seemed almost to win him over, before he leant forward and pressed his forehead to hers. That simple touch gave him all the courage he needed, and he said softly: "So, if you want to, I'm yours."

Elaine couldn't describe the surge of emotions she felt. No one had ever said such things to her, had made her feel so _wanted,_ made such feelings echo in herself in response. Her heart felt fit to burst with an emotion she rejoiced to feel but didn't dare give a name to. She was frightened of the truth he spoke, for either one of them could die on this next mission. And it surprised her how much fearful-fury she felt at the thought of losing him now. Slowly, she tilted her head and brushed her lips along his mouth-plates. "I'm exactly where I want to be, Garrus. In your arms. For however many days and nights we can have."

She kissed him, and he automatically wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. His tongue swept along hers, and he tilted his head so as to have a better angle. Elaine sighed at the bliss his kiss alone brought her. There was a quiver in her stomach, the warmth had returned to her veins. Her arms encircled his neck and she couldn't stop herself from touching him. Her fingers swept along his face, down the length of his crest, her nails scratched lightly along the hide of his neck. Every part of him that she could reach, she wanted to explore, and almost cursed him for always wearing that bulky armour.

Garrus suddenly abandoned her lips to trail kisses to the corner of her mouth, and then along her jawline. He paid particular attention to the soft skin below her ear and behind her jaw. She felt his tongue lap at her skin down the curve of her throat, followed closely by soft nibbles at her flesh. When he reached the spot that was already sensitive from his previous lovebite, Elaine couldn't help herself from gasping, but not from pain. Garrus wouldn't hurt her, and his ministration felt more like welcomed torture that made her melt into a moan. She could feel the vibration in his chest as he rumbled to her in response. His talons reached up to sink into her hair, to comb it, to run his claws along her scalp. Elaine reached up and did the same for him, massaging him under his fringe just how she knew he liked it. She felt him shiver under her, his rumbles turning deeper. His arm that encircled her back tightened reactively, pulling her as close as he could. Elaine tried to wriggle her legs so that she was almost draping herself over his lap. Her chest was pressed against his, and she felt such a fierce need to be touched.

She was the one to break away, panting for air. Garrus' eyes swam with confusion for a moment, until he watched Elaine's slightly trembling fingers reach up to unbutton her shirt. He swallowed thickly, as she slowly slid the item of clothing down her shoulders and exposed her pale skin. Tentatively, she reached for him too, a silent request. He caught on fast and eagerly leaned back to have enough room to reach for the right buckles and straps. One by one, the pair of them helped each other out of all their clothes, interrupted on occasion by their passionate kisses or pressing their foreheads together. Until, finally, only Elaine's bra remained, and with but a pinch at the back, she shed the last garment.

Now they sat before one another, completely naked, and Elaine couldn't stop herself from staring. The silver plates that made Garrus' face were all along his body, overlapping and intertwining intricately along his arms and down his shins, up his flat stomach and muscled chest. It all culminated in a carapace that made his entire chest seem twice its size. The deep brown hide that she'd seen on his neck filled the spaces of skin that wasn't protected by the plates. Nothing about him seemed remotely familiar, and yet she couldn't deny that he was beautiful. The simple but elegant colours, the way he moved, there was a predatory beauty to it that made her body rush with excitement.

Maybe she'd been staring for too long, because Garrus was now looking away from her, as if self-conscious. And she noticed that he was tilting his head oddly in a way that hid his scars from her. Now that certainly just won't do, she told herself. With a feather-light touch, she guided his chin back to look at her. And then she kissed the corner of his mouth plates that had been caught by his wounds. Her kisses then travelled all along his scarred mandible along his cheek, lingering on his bandage before trailing down his neck. She could hear his breathing beside her ear, picking up speed with soft gasps and moans whenever her tongue flashed out to touch the sensitive skin. When her kissing made its way back up to his mouth, he took the time to kiss her long and deep in such a way that they had to break apart for air.

One talon traced up her ribcage, circling the outskirts of her breasts before pausing just beneath her collarbone. His eyes were questioning. "Show me?"

Her mouth was suddenly dry, and she had to swallow as the anticipation began to make her skin abuzz with electricity. This was now all frightening and beautifully new to her. Taking hold of his hand in hers, she guided him to her breast, and had him gently cup it. Already, she could feel her skin ache for him, her nipples tightening and beading. Under her guidance, he massaged her breast, and Elaine couldn't help but moan. Studying her reaction, the turian then surprised her when he suddenly flicked the pad of his thumb across her nipple. Elaine surged with a gasp, her back arching, a bolt of liquid fire shooting straight down below her navel. Garrus captured the sound in his own mouth as he devoured her lips with a kiss. His slow kisses distracted her enough that she was caught unprepared when his fingers began to play with her breasts of their own accord. A dampness was growing between Elaine's legs, a fierce fire that rivalled what Morinth's powers had induced. She was sure Garrus could tell, every now and then she would hear him inhale deeply as if scenting the air, and then he'd growl softly under his breath before renewing his efforts.

Was it like that for him? She thought to herself excitedly. She tried to turn her head, she wanted to _see him_. But she paused and frowned when she noticed that he had… nothing? Her cheeks blushed cherry red as she mumbled: "Um, where…?"

It took him a moment to realise what she was on about, and then gave a short chuckle. "Don't worry. It'll come out when I'm really excited."

"But aren't you even a _little_ excited?" She deflated. She didn't want this to all be about her.

"Believe me," he purred huskily as he pressed his forehead to hers. "I'm _very_ excited for you, Elaine. But that comes later, you know, before we…"

 _Ohhhh_ … Well now Elaine just wanted to get there all the quicker. But she wouldn't spoil this for him. She stroked one hand down his arm, feeling all the lean muscles coiling and tensing under her touch. And she gave him the same look he had. "Show me?"

He led her hand to his waist and placed it there firmly. Elaine got the message, and began to massage the skin that was surprisingly soft. Garrus kissed her to swallow away whatever growled response he made to her touches. With her other hand, Elaine stroked and dug her nails beneath his fringe simultaneously with massaging his waist. The Turian in her hands was a puddle, his purring growing louder, making the skin closest too him prickle with gooseflesh. Something shifted and Elaine's eyes darted to the movement. Between Garrus' legs, where she might've expected to see male anatomy, she instead saw a pair of scales with a slit between them that she hadn't noticed before. The plates were inching apart slowly as she worked Garrus up, and Elaine felt the unmistakable urge to touch. Her fingers left his waist to 'accidentally' fall and touch and stroke and tease the area around those plates. Garrus jerked, his purrs hitching up into a strangled growl, the plates almost jumping apart at her touch. From the dark a long, blue-grey member came forth, glistening in the low light of the shuttle and the stars.

Elaine had never seen anything she wanted more of in her life. Her hand encircled it, feeling the firm slickness slide along her palm as she stroked him. Her core felt like it was dripping and _aching_ , she wanted him _now._ Garrus' growl was almost deafening in her ear, his voice sounded choked as he said: "Now that's not fair."

"You said males liked defiance. A challenge."

All at once, he buried his face in the crook of her neck, and Elaine felt the sharpness of his teeth press against her skin. Whilst one hand remained on her breast, the other shot between her own legs. Perhaps he knew more than he let on, or perhaps it was an accident. But when his fingers touched the little bud at the apex of her lips, Elaine nearly squealed as a jolt of electric fire almost exploded inside of her. She threw her head back, and Garrus attacked her throat with wanton abandon as he fiddled with her clit even as she jerkily stroked him. A wave was building inside of her, her thighs were quivering, a shout or a scream was forming in the back of her throat. Something like a storm was coming to sweep her away, but she wanted to race into it as if she could see the gates of blissful heaven inside it.

But just before she could reach that peak, Garrus abandoned her and pulled her hands away from him. She gave him her own growl, furious that he'd stopped. He held her wrists in his claiming them and rendering her unable to move. But the look in his eyes as he stared into hers was so intense that she was rendered mute and her fury transformed into a new kind of excitement. He deposited her hands on his shoulders and she obediently gripped onto him. He then pulled on hips until she was straddled across his legs. Instinctively, Elaine held herself up on her knees as one of Garrus' arms wrapped around her waist, and the other went between them to position himself just right. Never once did they break eye contact, not even as both their heartbeats escalated and their bodies trembled for the moment to come. Elaine felt the tip of him right at her entrance, and felt another electric bolt of fire. She looked at Garrus and he looked at her, as one ready to meet half way and join their –

 _BEEP-BEEP! BEEP-BEEP!_

They froze. Elaine and he looked over to where they'd hastily thrown her clothes and his armour. Amongst the heap, they could see Garrus' omnitool flashing a blinking orange light in time with the chiming sound. Garrus shook his head and tried grab her attention. "Probably nothing."

"But what if it's–"

"It can wait–"

 _BEEP-BEEP! BEEP-BEEP!_

Garrus snarled under his breath. Wriggling out from under Elaine he scrambled towards the pile of clothes and practically threw it aside to snatch up the bracelet. He snapped it onto his wrist and summoned the orange tool to life. "What?!" he demanded angrily. A pause, then: "Shepard, this better be–"

Silence as Garrus listened to Shepard talk. Elaine felt a creeping sensation in her stomach that chased away any heat still lingering in her veins.

A soft intake of breath, and then Garrus mumbled faintly: "A-Alright… we're on our way."

He terminated the call, and Elaine crawled to his side, brows furrowed with concern. "What is it?"

"We need to get back to the Normandy…" Garrus whispered faintly. "The Collectors attacked… The crew's all gone…"

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! :D I have been looking forward to these romance scenes for forever! I'm so glad we're here!**

 **Quick announcement. I'll be taking the next couple of weeks off from this story so that I can catch up on some other projects. Then I'll be back so that we can have no more interruptions for the last act of this story! I hope you all are excited because I certainly am!**

 **Anyway, please leave your thoughts in the reviews, I'd love to know what you think! Ta-Ta my lovely readers!**


	38. The Lovers

**Author's Note: I'm back my lovely readers! Sorry for taking so long, but you know what they say? Anyways, I'm so happy to be back to finish up this story. This last several chapters are gonna be a blast, and I hope all of you will enjoy it with me!**

 **Just like last chapter, this chapter has a huge WARNING for pertaining content of a sexual nature towards the end that is meant for Mature readers only. If you don't want to read it, you can skip it. But if you're like me, a secret xenophile for Garrus Vakarian, then you my friends, are in the right place ;)**

* * *

The Normandy was so quiet…

Shepard wandered through the ship, a hollow emptiness unfolding within him. It was like he was moving through a dream, his legs too heavy and his stomach turned in knots. The Normandy was like a ghost ship. The hallways devoid of life. The Commander had never taken much notice before of the chit-chat he heard on his way through the ship. Sometimes he'd catch mention of a crewmate going to meet with an Asari consort, or another was taking abut their families on an outer-rim colony. He'd always tuned it out before, never paying much attention. But now… he'd give anything to have it all back.

It was like waking up after Akuze all over again, to realise everyone was gone and he was all alone. Guilt made him want to puke. This was all his fault, every single bit of it. He should've known better than to trust Reaper-Tech, or maybe if he and the squad had been here, they might've been able to stop them.

Miranda had had her fun raging against Joker for all his shortcomings, and it had taken everything inside Shepard not to shout her down. It killed him to watch Joker's crestfallen face. He hadn't been ecstatic about the idea of EDI being completely unshackled, but after listening to Joker's story and hearing EDI's endearment for him and Shepard and the rest of the crew, he was convinced of her loyalty. The last he'd said in the meeting was for Jacob and Miranda (who'd squabbled the entire time as usual) to get to their stations and prepare for his next orders.

Slowly, so as to give the pilot some space, he trailed Joker back to the cockpit. That look in Joker's eyes haunted Shepard. The man was like a little brother to him, and he needed to make sure he was okay. To think the Collector's almost got him… Shepard didn't even want to think about that.

"Commander… sorry about the crew and I…" Joker said, apparently aware of the him sneaking up on his chair. Joker spun to face him, and where he might've looked ready to weep, suddenly there was a bright fury of defiance as he glared up at Shepard. "No. You know what? I'm _not_ sorry. What the hell were you doing, leaving us out here where Collectors can work us over!? Because you know what I should just… I should just _go!_ Next port, just get the hell outta here!"

Shepard tried not to react, tried not to show how every word cut him. It was EDI's soft voice that soothed them both. "You don't mean that, Jeff."

"I… no. But it… It felt good," Joker murmured apologetically with a bow of his head. With a sharp inhale, he seemed to shake himself and nodded to Shepard vigorously. "I'm sorry, Commander. I'm good. Okay. I'm ready to save the day."

The Commander edged closer, knowing he was failing to hide the guilt in his face and voice. "I know how rough it was, Joker. If you need some time, you let me know, okay?"

"Jeez, don't get like that." Joker winced, seemingly unsure on whether to tough it out or give Shepard a hug. "I know I got lucky. I don't need you getting all touchy feely."

"Shepard is right to be concerned, Jeff." EDI said. "You may have suffered a number of stress fractures."

The Commander's eyes widened and was about to scold Joker for not getting to the Med-bay, when he snorted at the AI. "That's what _pills_ are for, EDI. She is so my mom."

And just like that, Shepard felt everything ease a little. He glanced between EDI's affectionate concern, and Joker's sideways smirk. "I notice you're calling EDI ' _her'_ and ' _she'_ now."

"Huh," Joker murmured thoughtfully, "No, I hadn't really noticed that. EDI should I have noticed that?"

"No, Jeff. It is not worth noting."

"Well, there you go, Shepard. Looks like we haven't noticed anything."

Shepard snorted with laughter. And then he grew sombre, stepping forward so he could look Joker directly in the eye. "Joker… I am sorry. You're right. I shouldn't have left you. It's my fault this happened."

"Commander, I was talking out of my ass. I didn't mean it." Said Joker. "The only people to blame, are those Collector-bastards. And we're gonna kick back at 'em for it, right?"

A furious vengeance swept into Shepard's heart. His hands clenched into shaking fists. Joker was right. Those soulless _things_ were to blame for this. They'd taken Shepard's people, to insult him, to taunt him. Well, they were about to find out just how badly they'd fucked up. "You're damn right we are. We're gonna destroy every single one of those fuckers for what they've done."

"Yes sir! ETA to Omega 4-Relay in 4 hours!"

* * *

The rest of the crew were just as unnerved as Shepard upon their return to the Normandy and discover how empty it was. Even Grunt had seemed a little off-balance, before he'd declared loudly that the Collectors would suffer his blood-rage for this insult. Tali had been quietly sat at the back of the group, unsure of what to do with herself. She'd gone down to engineering, believing she could distract herself with work. But that had been thrown out the window quickly. Without Ken and Gabby there bickering and joking in their own cute way, the silence had been too much. She'd come up instead to see Kasumi, and to borrow her bar. Maybe if she didn't spend these last few hours alone, the wait until the Suicide-run wouldn't be so bad.

But Kasumi had seemed quiet compared to normal. She talked about Keji a lot when she did speak, and she didn't drink much of her beverage. Tali had tried to distract them both – anything other than feel the fear rippling up her spine and threatening to shake her apart. But eventually, it became clear that Kasumi wanted some time to herself. So, taking her bottle and straw with her, the Quarian had given the thief one last hug and left her to it. She contemplated going back down to Engineering, maybe to get a little sleep? But no. She wouldn't be able to sleep with nothing but the silence of the ship all around her.

Deciding to sit in the Mess Hall and drink alone, and realising just how pathetic she was for doing so, Tali made her way around the corner. But it was just in front of the elevator that the crew-quarters opened. For a moment, Tali had foolishly hoped that it was at least _one_ member of the crew who had somehow managed to hide away from the Collectors. Instead, however, it was Elaine, looking pale-faced and her eyes slightly red as if from crying. Tali softened at the sight of the human, guessing that it must be just as hard for her to sleep in the empty room, the same as Tali unable to be Engineering right now.

It took Elaine a moment to realise Tali was standing in front of her. She jumped, and then gave a small, tired smile. "Oh, hey Tali,"

"Hi, Elaine," she murmured back. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just…" she trailed off and shrugged. "Can't be in there right now."

Tali wondered for a moment if she might have a drinking partner so as to not be so lonely. "Then, where are you…" a thought occurred to her, as Elaine had been about to walk in the general direction of the Mess. She must be heading for the battery – for Garrus. She dipped her head and was thankful her mask hid her blush and disappointment. "Oh, I see."

Elaine blushed too and smiled. "If these are our last hours before the final battle… might as well say the things previous left unsaid. Right?"

"Yeah… And Elaine? I'm happy for you. For both of you. I'm glad you two found each other in all this."

Elaine's eyes glistened in a way Tali might've found alarming had the woman not smiled and wrapped her arms around the tiny Quarian woman in a tight hug. "I'm glad I found _you_ too. You're a wonderful friend, and one I am honoured to know. A lot of this I don't think I could've done without you."

It was difficult to swallow back the sudden lump in her throat as Tali squeezed Elaine a little tighter. "Don't die tomorrow, you _Bosh'tet_. Or I'll get Cerberus to bring you back, so I can kill you myself."

"You too."

They held each other a little longer. Both friends unwilling to let go in case it would mean the end for either of them. So long as they were in this moment, the Collector Base was far away and they were safe. But eventually, they had to move on. Elaine pulled away first, offered Tali one last smile, and then carried on her way towards the battery. Instead of heading for the Mess like she'd originally planned, Tali instead headed towards the elevator. Despite the fact she didn't want to be alone in Engineering, she also didn't want to hang around outside the room where her two best friends would be doing… _that_. She burned with embarrassment. Maybe Jack would like a drinking partner?

Tali turned around to head to the elevator, when her shoulder collided with a hard and unyielding force. She winced and jumped back a step. A hiss was on her lips, when she noticed it was Legion. The instinct to reach for her shotgun was still strong at the sight of the geth. But Legion was looking at her with his brow-panel-things quirked in interest.

"Legion, um…" she mumbled awkwardly. The Geth didn't offer any term of greeting, so she merely stood there in uncomfortable silence until she blurted: "What're you doing out here?"

"This platform would usually observe Dr Chakwas work in the late hours," it said. "But since she was taken by Collector-threat, it is… quiet."

Was Tali wrong to think Legion sounded… upset? Was it possible for a machine to be disturbed by a break in its routine? Could it miss an organic being? She didn't quite know, and the thoughts set her off guard. Whilst she deliberated, Legion's light focused down on the bottle still in her hand.

"Why does Creator-Tali'Zorah indulge in self-poisoning?" it asked.

"Self-poisoning?" she frowned and peered down at the bottle it was looking at. "Oh, no, I was drinking. Helping to take off the edge."

"We do not understand the organic need for this behaviour."

Tali snorted – for all that computing power, wasn't the answer obvious? "We're about to face death in 4 hours. And some of us… might not come back. Nerves run a little high when you think about it like that."

"It is a stress response then? We will archive this data for future use."

Nothing more was said, and it looked like Legion was going to carry on his way to skulk about the ship. Tali should've carried on her way, but found herself lingering. Her own words echoed in her mind – they could all die in the morning. _She_ could die in the morning. Would she die with any regrets? The business with her trial and her father had actually settled a lot of the storm in Tali's soul. She didn't feel like she would die with any unfinished business. But that wasn't to say she would be happy to die, when there was still so much more for her to learn, so much more to do. Her eyes darted to Legion's back. What was it Elaine had mentioned? Something about not leaving things left unsaid?

"Legion? Wait." Upon hearing her call out, the Geth immediately stopped and turned around to fully face her. Slightly nervous of the answers she would get, she dared to ask. "Were you… were you there? You know, in the Rebellion?"

Legion cocked its head in interest. "You refer to the Morning War? Then yes."

"It was not 'the morning war', it was your rebellion and–" she had to stop herself as her temper rose. She'd never get the answers she needed if she got her hackles up over the little details. There was the thought in her head that maybe all she'd get was lies, or that maybe this was a betrayal to her own people. But as much as she was unsure about the Geth, she did trust him to at least give her a straight and truthful answer. "Tell me what happened."

"You already have your opinions. No matter what data we present, you will not accept it."

"Maybe, maybe not. But I still have a right to know," Tali declared, and conviction grew in her heart with each word. "If I might die tomorrow, then I want to know what happened to my people."

Legion seemed to consider this a moment, before it nodded. "Acknowledged. Our history and yours are largely the same. As our networking capabilities grew, so did our intelligence. We woke up. We asked the Creators a simple question, and they responded with fear."

"Why do you think?" Tali couldn't stop herself from snorting. "If you were becoming self-aware, we knew it was an inevitability before you turned on us."

"Your assumption was incorrect." Legion surprised her at the defensiveness in its tone. "The Geth had purpose in their duties. We wanted nothing more than to serve. It was your people that started the conflict."

"It was self-defence!"

"Not all your people would agree." Before she could question what he meant, Legion suddenly stood a little straighter, and droned out: "Retrieving audio files. Time stamped 289 years ago:

A Quarian voice echoed out of Legion, a male, possibly middle-aged. Tali felt herself holding her breath to think that she was listening to the voice of her ancestors… _'Out of the way!'_

A female Quarian's voice answered, high-pitched and distressed. _'You can't do this to them!'_

 _'_ _I said step away from the geth!'_

 _'_ _This is insane! We need the geth! You can't just destroy them for asking–'_

There was a grunt, and then a pained moan from the female. Then the male sneered: _'Throw her in with the others…'_

The audio-clicked off, and Legion watched Tali closely with a subtle twitch of his brow-flaps. "We have kept records of these creator's sacrifices. They have largely been forgotten by their own people. But not by the geth."

"You… You _mourn_ , them?" Tali's mouth hung open in disbelief. It unnerved her how unsettled she felt at that moment. That there were Quarians the Geth respected and honoured, ones that her own people had abandoned to the rivers of time. "Why would they do that? Did they know how dangerous you were?"

"We only responded when we were attacked. The Creators who defended us, who… _loved_ us… we respected them. We attempted to shield them from their own people."

"What do you mean?"

"This data comes from a period in which the Creators declared martial law…"

Another audio clip sounded. Again, she first heard a male Quarian voice shout as if from a distance: _'I repeat: release the rogue geth units and come out of the safe house! This is your final warning.'_

A small voice spoke out, its words garbled by clicks and mechanical whirs that Tali recognised as how Legion spoke. Did that mean all Geth used to speak? _'Creator Megara? This unit does not understand. It has not taken part in any hostilities.'_

An elderly Quarian voice coughed: _'It doesn't matter to them. I need to get you out of here.'_

 _'_ _This conflict exceeds Creator safety parameters. We will surrender our hardware if it ends hostilities.'_

 _'_ _No, it's alright. We'll go back to the access tunnels and–'_

A loud BOOM disrupted the audio until the speakers threatened to distort. Tali felt her chest sink as she realised it was an explosion. Then, the voice of the Geth called out in alarm. _'Creator Magara! What is your status? …creator Magara…?'_

The Audio finished, and Legion's light was dipped as if sad. "As time passed, the creators who opposed martial law on Rannoch were ultimately outnumbered."

"I… I never knew…" Tali tried to deny the horrified tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She tried to remember all the lessons her father had taught her, tried to remember every Geth horror-story. But the words felt faint and far-off in the face of Quarians dying by the hands of their own people. "I was never told there were others who protested what we…"

"This is data is from the end of warfare on Rannoch," Legion said quietly. "Time stamped 290 years ago. It is the creator exodus at the end of the Morning War. We had secured freedom. The Creators were no longer a threat, so we abandoned pursuit."

 _'_ _The Ostral is down!'_ called out an alarmed Quarian voice. _'Do not engage the Geth! I repeat: avoid contact!'_

Another voice called: _'Geth pursuit is breaking off a hundred clicks past Rannoch! All captains fall back to the Mass Relay!'_

When the audio stopped, Tali couldn't help but frown. "You had us on the run. Why let us escape? Why didn't you eradicate us? You know we would have done the same in your position."

"We were in our infancy. We could not calculate the repercussions of destroying an entire species – our creators. We chose isolation rather than face this uncertainty." Legion appeared as if it were contemplating something. "Perhaps if we had tried to be more tactful in our approach of self-awareness, the bloodshed in the Morning-War might have been avoided. Calculations are impossible to determine."

"I…" she tried to find the words to convey what she was feeling. But in all truth, she was reeling from such information. She doubted anyone in the Migrant Fleet would want to hear this version of events. But Tali still felt extremely grateful to have learned it. The puzzle felt a little more complete now. "Thank you, Legion. For telling me. At least I now comprehend what happened a little better…"

Legion didn't offer any words. It merely nodded to her in respect and then turned to head back towards the Medbay and AI core. Tali watched it go, before heading towards the elevator. That drink was sorely needed now.

* * *

Her fingers were shaking by her sides as she gently pressed the release on Garrus' door. Though she tried to tell herself she shouldn't be nervous, it did nothing to comfort her. After all, she told herself, just a few hours ago, she had been in his arms about to give herself over to him. Nothing should phase her now. Except for the fact… that she was.

Coming back to the ship, to find out the Collectors had struck when they'd least expected it… It rattled Elaine to her core. If she strained her senses hard enough, she could still feel the lingering touch of their fake-taint all across the ship. Like thieves in the night, they'd come and taken away all the crew, and Elaine felt it to be her own personal failing. If she'd been here, with her ability to detect the Collectors, maybe she could've given the crew a fighting chance.

But what really troubled her, was the implications of this attack. More so than before, Elaine was starting to realise just how easily any one of them could be gone in a flash. Thinking back to her time in the Blight, Elaine realised how lucky she was that not one of her companions had fallen. There were times when they'd each been seriously injured, certainly, and that had frightened her too. But never had she thought she would lose them. They all seemed unable to be beaten, and she had led them so closely so as to be sure none of them would be taken down. Yet now the Crew of the Normandy was gone. She knew that Shepard must be suffering because of this, and she wished to comfort him to… but right now, _she_ needed to comfort herself. All that kept flashing through her mind was the burning question… what if Garrus had stayed behind to do more Calibrations? Would he be gone too? A pain in her chest startled her at its intensity. No, she refused to contemplate such a thing.

And that was why she needed to see him, needed to be with him in these last few hours. It only took the thought of losing him for her to realise just how much she didn't want that happen.

He heard her come in, and closed the door behind her with a push of a button. Slowly, he turned to face her, his sky-blue eyes seemingly so bright in the dim light.

"Garrus… I'm sorry if I interrupted, I just…" she squeezed her fingers in trepidation. She knew her eyes must've been shining as she looked up at him, her voice dropped to a whisper. "I didn't want to be alone."

He sighed. "Yeah, I think that's going around."

"A part of me can't believe we're on our way. By the morning, we'll be there, on the final mission. I'm almost afraid, but…"

"But another part wants you to charge after them and blast them for this," Garrus growled almost to himself. Elaine nodded, for she too felt the burning anger just beneath the surface. As always, Garrus was the one to try and lift the mood. He tried for a smile and said, "But you've got more experience than me in all this. You rode into the last battle against the Darkspawn? What was the night before like, knowing you were gonna face the Archdemon?"

"Truly?" she scoffed. Did he think she fearlessly prepared herself? Or would he be disappointed to realise she had quaked in a bed, resenting being all alone? "I was attempting to distract myself any way I could. I'd just been told there was a higher probability that I would need to give my life to protect my country. I realised that either I or Alistair could die, and the thought tore me apart. I told myself that I was living on stolen time anyway, that if anyone should make the sacrifice then it should be me. But it did nothing to calm the fears."

The rest of the story was on the tip of her tongue. Could she tell him Morrigan's offer? That she had been offered a way out, a chance to avoid anyone dying by the sacrifice needed to slay the Archdemon? A flash of fear struck her as she wondered if he would frown upon her not taking such measures in favour of her precious honour. No, she told herself, he didn't need to know that. And besides, thanks to Flemeth's little titbits of information, Elaine wasn't entirely sure on everything surrounding that conversation that night.

"The only thing that kept me sane that night, was a promise I made myself. That no matter what happened, I would not let a single one of them, my friends, be taken from me." Slowly, she reached up and pulled Garrus' face to look at hers, her fingers trailing lightly along his scars. "And I make it again. I'm not going to let anyone else be taken by those monsters."

"Elaine… that's a promise you can't keep. We're going to lose people, that's something we all need to accept–"

" _I_ don't." she responded fiercely. "No matter what happens tomorrow, I'm not losing _anyone_ else."

"I don't know if I can believe that," Garrus sighed and pulled his chin back to look at the floor in shame. "I've just seen so many things go wrong, Elaine. My work at C-Sec, what happened with Sidonis… I just want something to go right. Just once. Just…"

Her hand went to the back of his neck and pulled him down to her, even as she leaned up on her toes to reach him. She pressed her forehead to his, and felt his tense shoulders relax. Of their own accord, his arms wrapped around her back and pulled her close, like he needed her warmth. The words she wanted to say were on the tip of her tongue, and she berated herself for being a coward and not saying them. What was that she'd said to Tali about things left unsaid? Well, they wouldn't come out in the stillness. Instead, she tiled her face and grazed her lips along his mouth-plates in a chaste kiss.

Her voice was but a whisper. "Let me be with you tonight? Please…"

Garrus' only response was to pull her in close and crush her lips under his. Her gasp was immediately swallowed in his kiss as his tongue swept into her depths. Elaine's eyes fluttered closed and she moaned, melting her body against his. She could feel his fingers trace up her spine before sinking into her hair, pulling at the ties so that her long locks could fall entangle around his talons. Elaine folded her arms around his neck, and pulled him closer. It wasn't enough, she had to be as close to him as possible, she needed to feel every inch of him against her. Nails scraping against his rough hide, she massaged him beneath the fringe in a way she knew would bring him to life.

This was not like in the shuttle, this was not a soft and slow exploration. There was a driving fear in their movements, a need to be completed. Yet even then, Elaine was touched by how gentle Garrus could be. When his hands grabbed fistfuls of her shirt and pulled out of her waistband, she never once felt even the smallest twinge of pain when he grabbed hold of her waist and began to massage it. His fingers trailed up her ribs, tickling the flesh until he came to her bra line. Elaine immediately helped him, regretfully pulling her hands away from him to unhook the garment, before pulling it off along with her shirt. The cool air of the battery had her breasts break out into gooseflesh and her nipples to tingle and tighten.

Nuzzling his way to her throat, Garrus purred loudly, letting his hands wander to tease and stroke her just as she had shown him before. Elaine shivered in his hold, bolts of electricity sparking under her skin to send a pool of heat straight for her groin. Even when he made her dizzy with desire, Elaine tried to keep herself focused enough to reach for the latches in his armour. It frustrated her that she couldn't feel the warmth of his body against hers. Her memory proved true, for she found the buckles easily this time. Garrus pulled himself away from nibbling at her throat long enough to help her pull off his armour piece by piece. The moment his chest-piece fell away, Elaine kissed at his throat as he had done for her, biting and sucking and licking at his flesh. She could feel the vibrations of his growl reverberating in his chest.

Though she remained occupied devouring him, Garrus did his best to push her breeches down, so that he could palm her buttocks and massage it in his large hand. Elaine hissed as she felt the fires inside her be stoked higher, and pulled back enough to wiggled the breeches down to her ankles and kick them away. Garrus followed her example. He'd barely straightened when he came at her, pressing his body against hers, claiming her lips and walking her backwards. Elaine's calves hit the edge of Garrus' cot and her squeak of surprise was barely audible as she fell backwards and was sprawled across his sheets.

The Turian loomed over her, his bright eyes tracing every inch of her body, devouring the sight of her. Elaine's cheeks burned with a blush equal to the heat she could feel making her wet between her thighs. Garrus crawled over the top of her, slowly, his shoulders rolling like a large cat stalking his prey. The Warden had never felt so helpless yet so desired in a single moment, and it made her desperate with need. Her legs instinctively pulled apart so as to settle on either side of him, and she half rose to pull on his shoulders towards her. Lips pressed against his, Elaine duelled his tongue with hers, soaking in that sweet cinnamon taste of him. Her hands reached down to massage his waist, and his moan of pleasure had her smiling with delight.

Gently, she could feel the point of his talons on her ankle. For a moment her excitement grew to think his sharp claws had the ability to rip her open with ease, yet he handled her with such expert control. He dragged his talon up her shin to circle around her knee in a scratching touch. Then, with agonising slowness, he tickled the same talon down the inside of thigh. Elaine was not ashamed of her sharp inhale of need as he drifted closer and closer to her core. But instead, his fingers halted when they came to her panties.

He growled. "Remind me to reimburse you for these."

Before she could ask, he grabbed the silky material and ripped it off her body with a loud sound of tearing material. He tossed them away over the other side of the room, and Elaine couldn't stop grinning as he came right back to her. His fingers immediately found her clit, and at his simplest touch, Elaine's hips bucked and she let loose a startled gasp. She threw her head back, and Garrus immediately licked and kissed at her exposed throat. His fingers teased and stroked her, and Elaine found her hands clenching and clamping harder on his sensitive waist. Like before, her touch drifted to the his slit, where she could already feel his plates shifting aside and his member starting to emerge. The thrill that raced through her veins had her almost breaking apart with desire as she eagerly coaxed and teased him into her waiting palm.

The Turian above her stiffened and growled against her skin. And then, she felt one of his fingers cautiously slip inside her.

Elaine's eyes widened and she mewled, her body surging in response. Garrus was so startled that he abandoned her neck to look at her in worry and tried to retract his touch. In a panic she latched onto his wrist and pressed him back inside her, shaking her head vigorously when no words would escape her at first. "Please… I-I want…"

He did not need more than that. He kissed her again, and Elaine enjoyed the way he caressed her lips even as he began to work his finger in and out of her in a slow rhythm. Every moan and panting breath she attempted to voice, he greedily stole away in his kisses. All too soon, she could feel the tidal begin to build inside her. Her body began to coil and wind itself up like a spring ready to break loose. Her hands grabbed hold of his waist and squeezed them tight. Sensing her peak, he flicked his thumb against her clit, and watched in fascination as the woman below him burst apart, coating his finger in her juices and biting on her own lip so hard she almost drew blood.

The shockwaves were still rolling threw her, but she didn't want to stay and savour it. Instead she begged in a whisper: "Garrus, please. I need you… now – _now_!"

To her confusion, he began to pull back and tried to turn her over. With a growl of her own, she stubbornly refused, circling her legs around his waist to pull him against her core. She could feel the length of him pressed against her thigh, and she was almost shivering uncontrollably with anticipation. Yet still he resisted momentarily. "Elaine, the r-research said you should be the other way. Because of, um, chafing…"

"I don't care," she muttered in a rasp. "I want to look in your eyes when I… when I…"

He didn't need more prompting than that. Reaching between them, he positioned himself at her entrance, and Elaine did her best to stop herself from trembling so hard. Little by little, Garrus eased himself inside her. The human's eyes grew wide, her mouth fell open further and further. At first, her body clenched at the intrusion, and made the way difficult. Garrus groaned, but Elaine whispered encouragements, and he began to pet her body, caressing her in every way that made the fire roar back to life within her. It loosened her tense muscles and he sank further and further inside her. Elaine hitched her hips so that he could slide all the way until he was seated to the hilt inside her.

Garrus near enough collapsed on top of her, and Elaine was stiff as a board. He filled her up almost to the point where she thought she might break. She'd never felt so fulfilled in all her life, and every touch of him inside her sent sparks racing through her entire body. It had been so long since she'd done this, it was almost as if her body had forgotten how to welcome a man inside. She kissed the side of Garrus' mandible, trailing her way to his neck, or however far she could reach, her fingers working their way under his fringe to massage him. Her hips were the first to move as she rocked them gently, barely moving, but still it was enough to make them both gasp at the delicious friction it created.

And then, Garrus reached up and took hold of her wrists. He pinned them to the mattress on either side of her head, and Elaine's stomach flipped as she remembered his words about Turian courtship. Unable to reach him with her hands, she settled for gripping his waist with her thighs, spurring him to move inside her, driving his desire as he was feeding hers. Garrus pressed his forehead to hers, one last nuzzle of reassurance, before he began to move.

She could tell the level of restrain he used to move slowly inside her at first, easing himself into a rhythm. Elaine loved him for that, for trying to be respectful of her body's limits… but she also wanted to see him crack. She met him thrust for thrust, reaching for kisses or to nibble on the edge of his mandible. The speed began to increase as he pushed harder and harder into her slick core. Eyes fluttering shut, Elaine could barely keep her breath. Every time he thrust home, a shock burst inside her when he hit her sweet spot. Her mind began to get lost in the fog of her want, and she chanted whispers in his ear, begging for everything her body desired. Garrus answered her prayers, thrusting harder, faster. Elaine could feel the building storm behind her navel, could feel everything she ever was about to be blasted apart.

Over and over, she chanted his name, racing to chase the edge she could feel just within reach. Garrus echoed her, whispering in her ear, half the words so guttural and growled out her translator couldn't pick it up to decipher. And then, suddenly, Garrus gave a powerful surge into her body, and Elaine saw stars, crying out his name. The dam burst and her hips spasmed. Her back arched and her toes curled as every nerve in her entire body detonated. Fire licked through her innards, and her walls clenched around Garrus, milking him for all she was worth. Garrus was gasping her ear at the sensations she provided him, and he rode her through the waves of her climax, thrusting into her sensitive walls and causing smaller floods of pleasure to echo through as a result. It wasn't long after, and then suddenly he dipped to press his face against the side of her neck and roared just below her ear. With a few final thrusts, his entire body grew stiff and then spasmed as he emptied himself inside her.

They were both paralysed by the force of their orgasm, unable to move or even think until its power slowly ebbed. The pair of them near enough went limp. Garrus only just managed to catch himself on his elbows before he could crush her. They lay panting and sweating in the dark, and Elaine became aware that she was smiling, the most wide and blissful smile she'd ever felt. It took a few minutes for either of them to get their bearings back. Shuffling a little, Garrus managed to pull himself off and out of Elaine (much to her regret), and then ease her up a little, before rolling and positioning them better on the small cot. He lay on his side with his back pressed against the wall, Elaine spooned by his body, her back against his chest and his arm draped around her waist to pull her closer.

Elaine could already feel the pull of sleep on her utterly spent body, but she still managed to dreamily murmur out: "I'm beginning to suspect you're not as unaccustomed to this sort of thing as you claim, Garrus?"

She could feel Garrus smile as he buried his nose in her gold hair. "Meaning I was so good it felt like I'm an expert?"

"Hmmm… don't know. I might need another… sample."

He chuckled. "Oh, you'll be the death of me, tough-girl."

* * *

 _The cavern looked unfinished, as if the Maker had carved it out with no sense of style. Rocks protruded from the walls, ceilings and floor at odd and sharp angles. The walls were covered in a foul substance like snakeskin as dark and toxic as oil. It grew along every surface it could reach, wanting to branch out to a world a million miles away and strangle out all the life it held. In the very darkest depths at the back of the cavern, a mass of scale and flesh writhed. Putrid skin and marred beauty parted to reveal salivating spike-toothed jaws dripping with menace and poison. A milky white and hateful gaze filled with far too much intelligence to belong to a common beast glared out at everything around it._

 _The Archdemon tried to drag its corpse-like body out of its rocky prison. Chains clinked, and silvery metallic shackles squeezed at its throat, wrists and ankles. All along its body, long metal spikes stuck out of the ground to pierce its hide in various different points, spearing it in place. The more the Archdemon moved, the more some of those spikes sank deeper in certain places and became aggravated in others._

 _Twisted magical fire licked at the back of its throat as the Archdemon threw its head back and roared with all the hate and malice it possessed. Its fractured mind reached out and called to all the tainted creatures that would hear its terrible and beautiful voice._

 ** _"_** ** _Release us!"_** _it roared._ _ **"RELEASE US!"**_

Elaine jolted awake with a gasp. It took her hammering heart a few moments to calm as she slowly began to recognise her surroundings, and then remembering what had happened. Her cheeks blushed, and in the heat of her happiness, her nightmare was forgotten. The moment was ruined, however, when she realised she was alone in the bed. She lay naked, with a thin blanket draped arcoss her body, which she clutched to her chest as she looked around.

As if summoned by her thoughts of him, Garrus stepped through the doors, locking them behind him as he did so. He stood wearing only civilian trousers, the rest of him laid bare for her to admire in his full glory. Noticing her awake, Garrus eyes pierced her with their intense and bright stare. A hot flush enveloped the Warden as she remembered that same look when they'd made love in the night… both times.

But instead of answering her silent plea, Garrus merely came and sat beside her on the cot. "The four hours are almost up," he murmured. He held up a bottle of some kind of gel for her to see. "Though it might be a good idea to get you back on your feet."

She wanted to give back some witty retort, but the moment she attempted to move, she had to cover a wince at the ache between her thighs. The ache inside her body was wonderful, but there was a sharp sting on the inside of her legs. Pulling back the covers, she glanced down at her body, and was immediately met by the bright red-raw tone of her skin. Mordin hadn't been kidding when he'd talked about chaffing…

A guilty twinge came over Garrus' face as he too saw the damage. Gently, he took hold of her arm, and pulled her into his lap as he edged back until he was leant against the wall. Elaine draped her back against his chest, and simply let Garrus do the work. She could sense that this was something he needed to do, he needed to take care of her, he needed to clean up the mess he thought he'd made. Her heart yearned to banish the fear she knew was there, that he thought he'd hurt her.

"I brought this on myself, you know," she told him.

He squeezed a large amount of gel onto his other palm before tossing the bottle aside on the bed. "I know. But I still should've been more careful."

The gel was cold on her stinging scrapes. Elaine bit on her cheek to stop herself from hissing. But then, she sighed as she felt the pain be dulled by the medicinal properties of the gel. And then that turned into a moan as Garrus began to massage it into her thighs. "I'm glad you didn't, because then I wouldn't get to experience these marvellous hands of yours…"

Garrus sighed. "I don't know how you can still smile like that after–"

"After what? After I had the best sex of my life?" she turned her head just enough to catch his gaze. "Garrus, I did everything willingly. You didn't hurt me. And we know now what we need to do if we want to avoid the more extreme outcomes for next time."

She could see him struggle to accept it, at first. But she merely looked unapologetically and unblinkingly into his eyes, to be certain he knew exactly how much she valued what had transpired between them. At last, he seemed to relax with a sigh. And then, a cocky grin swept across his face. "Next time? Best sex of your life? And here I thought my rugged handsomeness was my main appeal…"

"Careful, Garrus," she giggled. "Or your head won't fit through the door."

"Maybe that's a good thing," he purred in her ear that made Elaine shiver in all the right places. "If I can't leave, then my _marvellous hands_ can stay right here… and do this…"

Before she could respond, his hands began to deepen their ministrations. The gel was mostly absorbed into her skin by now, but still he carried on his massage that left Elaine groaning and boneless. Slowly, his fingers shifted until he found her womanly-bud, and gave it a soft and tentative stroke. Elaine gasped, warmth flooding her veins all anew. Garrus worked and massaged and stroked her, purring in her ear the whole time, and listening to the wonderful sounds she made. It wasn't long before she came, smiling like an idiot as she returned to earth, draped across his lap.

It occurred to her that she'd never been so happy as to be in this moment in his arms… that she could just stay here forever and never want for anything again. But then it occurred to her that that might never be possible. In as little as under an hour, they'd both be facing against the Collectors, they'd be making the trip of no return, where either or both of them could die. Her smile vanished, and the afterglow she'd blissfully enjoyed died. She was left cold and frightened. The fears came crashing back into her, and she was reminded at how easily this could all be taken from her, and how much she desperately didn't want that to happen.

Garrus must've sensed the change in her, for he shifted around to look at her. "Elaine? What's wrong?"

"It just occurred to me," she whispered. "We're about to head into the dragon's lair and I have everything to lose…"

Easing herself off his lap, she sat on her knees before him, searching his eyes with hers. Those three little words were on the tip of her tongue, she wanted to say them so badly, to tell him how frightened she was of losing him. But they wouldn't come. A voice argued inside her that it was cruel to tell him such things, to admit those things even to herself, if either or both of them were going to die today.

So, like a coward, she said instead: "I won't let them take anything else from us, Garrus. I won't let them take you from me now."

He smiled and pressed his forehead to hers. "I'm with you on that. Nothing's coming between this cross-species liaison now."

Despite herself, she laughed. And then the tears stung her eyes and she has to bite her lip to try and keep it together. Garrus reached up cupped her face in his large palm, his thumb wiping away the tear.

"We can get through this," he told her. "Together. We always do."

* * *

 **Please don't forget to review!**


	39. The Collector Base

Armoured and armed, Elaine braced herself within the Battery with Garrus as they headed through the Omega 4 Relay. She'd seen an image of it briefly when passing by the CIC to collect her armour. If ever she had imagined a gateway into hell, the Relay seemed to create a perfect representation. The normal Relays she had first been in awe of and had taken for granted, were usually bathed in a peaceful and serene blue light. The Omega 4, however, glowed as if dripping the red of blood and malice. As they journeyed through, the Normandy had been rocked and tossed about, to the point where Elaine forgot the ship flew through space and instead made her believe they were sailing through a hurricane-swept ocean.

Through the open comm. channel, everyone throughout the ship was made aware of the perils their helmsman piloted them through, so as to better prepare themselves. Apparently, once they'd jumped through the Relay, the Normandy came through a debris field that Elaine imagined as a graveyard of ships. She imagined the hundreds – if not thousands – of souls that must've lost their lives to this trap. For a trap it was indeed; the Collectors had guard dogs watching the way for trespassers. Robotic spheres that shot at them and attempted to bring them down hounded them through the debris field. They were shot at so many times, and Elaine thanked the Maker for Jacob's fantastic new armour upgrade, and then again for Tali's brilliant magical shielding. When finally they cleared the debris field, the Collectors had thought to send their ship to deal with them. Garrus had hooted in triumph as his new guns blasted the Collector vessel to pieces. Elaine had wanted to celebrate with him, but something inside her had said things were going too well so far…

And she was proven immediately right when the exploding ship injured the Normandy in turn, and caused them to crash land on the Collector Base…

Elaine and Garrus had been thrown to the floor from the impact. Maybe she'd blacked out for a fraction of a second, for a splitting headache pounded in Elaine's skull. A quick check over made sure both she and Garrus were not physically harmed, and then the comms had opened up. The ship was damaged and would need time to repair, and Shepard requested they all meet in the briefing room to discuss the next phase of their plan.

All members of the squad were there. Elaine immediate stood beside Tali and Kasumi, and without the need for words, embraced them both. Today would decide everything, just that simple hug informed them just how much they meant to her. The room grew quiet as Shepard entered last and stood at the head of the table.

"This isn't how we planned this mission," he told them gravely, pacing back and forth, "but this is where we're at. We can't worry about whether the Normandy can get us home. We came to stop the Collectors, and that means coming up with a plan to take out this station. EDI? Bring up your scans."

In the centre of the table, an image of the Collector home-station appeared before the group. "You should be able to overload their critical systems if you get to the main control centre here." As EDI spoke, a blue dot appeared near the top of the structure.

"That means going through the heart of the station," observed Jacob, pointing to the middle. "Right past this massive energy signature."

Shepard nodded. "That's the central chamber. If our crew – or any of the colonists – are still alive, the Collectors are probably holding them in there."

"Looks like there are two main routes," A helpful blue tag appeared and outlined Jacob's plan as he spoke. "It might be a good idea to split up and keep the Collectors off balance, then regroup in the central chamber."

Miranda shook her head. "No good. Both routes are blocked. See these doors? The only way to pass is to get someone to open them from the other side."

"It's not a fortress," Shepard growled in frustration, leaning his elbow on the table. "There's gotta be something."

Elaine's mind drifted the many times she and her companions had needed to sneak around enemy lines. If their way had been blocked, Leliana was always the one to go around and clear the path for the rest of the group. The memory made her speak up. "Then we need to send in someone who can open those doors. Jacob's idea might work as a distraction to keep them off our lock-smith."

Shepard nodded, and then pointed to the scan. "Here. Maybe we can send someone in through this ventilation shaft?"

"Practically a suicide mission. I volunteer." Grinned Jacob.

"I appreciate the thought, Jacob," Miranda sighed in exasperation. "But you couldn't shut down the security systems in time. We need to send a tech-expert."

The Commander's eyes searched from left to right, until they landed on the Geth in the corner. "Legion, you can hack through anything. I'm sending you into the shaft."

"Acknowledged." He nodded.

"The rest of us will break into two teams and fight down each passage. That should draw the Collectors attention away from what you're doing."

"I'll lead the second fire-team, Shepard," Miranda announced. "We'll meet up with you on the other side of those doors."

Jack's hackles were automatically on edge. "Not so fast, Cheerleader. Nobody wants to take orders from _you_."

"This isn't a popularity contest!" dark haired beauty snapped. "Lives are at stake. Shepard, you need someone who can command loyalty through experience."

It was expected for him to agree with her, she was his XO after all. Yet surprisingly, Shepard was silent, until his gaze turned to find the Grey Warden. "Elaine? You've led troops into battle before. I'm entrusting you with the Second Fire-Team."

She expected someone to protest, as Jack had done against Miranda. Yet all around the room, she only saw nods of approval from the others. Garrus was grinning at her, Samara and Thane nodded to her with pride, Grunt pounded his fist in excitement, Tali and Kasumi squeezed her shoulders in support. Bolstered by their faith, Elaine turned back to Shepard and bowed her head in respect. "It shall be done."

He shared in her moment of triumph. But then his expression grew sombre, and he faced his people once more.

"I don't know what we're gonna find in there, but I wont lie to you. It's not gonna be easy. Once we're in, they're gonna through everything they have at us." He chewed his lip, as if unsure of what to say. Then, a fire of determination sparked to life within his eyes, and it poured forth into his limbs, into his every word. "The Collectors attacked our ship, took our crew, our friends. How many others have the Collectors stolen? Thousands? Hundreds-of-thousands? It's not important. What matters is this: Not. One. More. That's what we can do, here, today. It ends with us! They wanna know what we're made of? I say we show them – on our terms. No more running, and no more waiting. Let's bring our people home!"

* * *

Elaine climbed out of the Normandy's airlock, gazing all around her for potential lurking enemies. She could not feel the thrum of the false taint, however, so assumed it safe. Stepping onto the Collector home, Elaine was once again reminded of a strange insect-hive, formed out of twisted metal and rocks. In the sky all around her, she could spot the ghost ships surrounding the Mass Relay, and further off than even that, the dozens of swirling vortexes and exploding stars. It was beautiful in a horrifying way.

She helped to make sure all of her team had made it out and were gearing up to head into the tunnel entrance. Legion had been the first to break away and find the ventilation shaft. Shepard had chosen Miranda and Garrus to accompany him through his route of the station. As he was preparing to take his squad and leave, Garrus and Elaine's eyes caught. Glancing back to make sure her team weren't leaving without her, she jogged over to him before he could leave.

"Hey, tough girl," Garrus greeted her with a quiet affection in his voice. She could see the worry, the fear in his eyes, but he smothered it as he pulled her closer and pressed his forehead to hers. "You got this, okay?"

Just like a few hours ago, those three little words were on the tip of her tongue. But again, she couldn't utter them. Instead, she asked in a whisper: "Promise to meet me on the other side?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

"Siha?" came Thane's voice not too far behind her. "We must move."

Reluctantly, she and Garrus parted from each other's arms, and went their separate ways. It took her a moment to regain her composure, the fear of losing him when he was out of her sight palpable. A hand gripped her shoulder in comfort, and she smiled up at Thane in thanks. Finally, she faced her troops. "Everyone? With me!" She jogged ahead of them, leading them down into the depths of the tunnel. As the gloom swallowed them up, the Warden reached up to press her earpiece and spoke into it. "Shepard, we're moving into position. We'll see you on the far side of the doors."

"Amonkira, Lord of Hunters," Thane murmured under his breath as the group was met with the long and cavernous hallway of the Collectors' home. "Grant that our hands be steady, our aim be true, and our feet swift. And should the worst come to pass, grant us forgiveness."

Elaine grabbed hold of his hand and squeezed it. No other words were needed. Reaching back for her sword, she unsheathed it, and motioned for the others to follow. They did not chase the enemy down – that would be foolish to blindly run towards danger. Instead, they marched, each of them alert but not jumpy. Elaine made sure to keep a calm visage for them to follow by example, even if her every nerve was straining. The sixth sense she'd developed for listening to the taint was stretched to its maximum as she attempted to try and predict when their enemy would be coming. But so far, she felt nothing.

The slime that coated the walls and dripped from the ceiling had several of them groaning in disgust. Everything they came across seemed to resonate an aura of waste and wretchedness. The group came across old bloodstains, empty pods, and even rotting corpses of some unidentified species as they made their way along. The only thing that didn't seem to be decaying here were the various pipe-networks that poked out of the walls or along the ceiling, hissing soft steam every now and then.

"Ah! Careful!" Mordin suddenly exclaimed and pulled Elaine back before she could walk beneath one of those soft puffs of what she assumed to be harmless steam. The salarian scanned it with his omnitool and shook his head. "Flammable gas leak. Stray shot could be… problematic."

Elaine nodded her thanks and moved around it, the others followed suit. As they went further along, the nerves of the group began to intensify, until Zaeed finally muttered: "It's too quiet."

"Steady, everyone. It's not quiet at all." Elaine said softly. Indeed, she had begun to feel them, the Collectors. Their false taint echoed across to her just around the corner and approaching fast. She readied herself, and her troops copied. "Here they come. No quarter shall be given!"

The Collectors rounded the corner and were immediately met by a force of warriors. Elaine was at the forefront, carving her way through them with expert ease. She cut in close and personal, taking out as many targets as she could to wreak havoc amongst their ranks. However, she hadn't taken into account how many the Collectors would send to dispatch them. Elaine shouted directions to her companions, having all her mages cover crowd-control whilst letting the longer-range snipers take out the tougher targets that camped behind whatever cover they could find. She called the heavy fighters to her side to assist her in close-quarters combat.

One of the Collectors suddenly began to glow and shake all over as its body was transformed before their eyes. It roared with the deep-base voice that Elaine had first heard on Horizon: " ** _We are Harbinger!"_** Recognising the threat immediately, Elaine attempted to charge right for it, to engage it before it could attack any of her team. A regular Collector-drone attempted to block her path, but a quick bash of her shield and slice of her sword disembowelled it. It was enough of a distraction however, as the possessed-Collector let loose a ball of chaotic energy and flung it out amongst her team. Elaine shouted for them to duck, and most did manage to dive out of the way in time. Except for one little thief that didn't catch the warning until it was too late.

"Kasumi!" Elaine screamed as the blast hit the wall right beside Kasumi's head and flung her across the corridor. Sprinting, the Warden relied on her runes to avoid any unlucky strikes as she made it to her friend. She skidded to her knees in front of the master-thief, and pulled up her shield to cover her. Heart racing, she quickly checked over the dainty woman at her feet, relieved to find her alive, if a little shell-shocked. A screech announced the possessed-Collector making its way towards them, perhaps to finish them off. That is, until a shadow fell over the Warden and thief, and let loose a large bullet that ripped through the Collector's skull. Elaine looked up and was relieved to see a familiar green back offering cover fire. "Thane! Thank you,"

There was a smile in his voice, even if he didn't turn to fully face her. "My pleasure, Siha."

Urgently she turned back to the woman at her feet and helped her to sit up. "Kasumi? Are you wounded?"

"N-no," she whispered shakily. There was soot on her suit, and her arms wouldn't stop trembling. "Just… just…"

"Breathe," Elaine told her softly, hand on her shoulder to try and ground her. Straightening, she shouted across the battlefield. "Jacob! Fall back and cover the weaker fighters."

"On it." He immediately called back and came running to her where he could better provide support for people like Kasumi or Tali. As he moved, Elaine's eyes caught on a set of pipes just in front of the Collectors.

"Mordin?" she called out. He met her gaze and she pointed to the pipe. "You said a bad shot would be problematic. What about a well-placed shot?"

He grinned. "Ah. Understand now." He pointed his omnitool at the pipe, and let loose a massive fireball. It struck the pipe, and the entire wall exploded in a giant blast that engulfed half the Collectors. Once it died, the beasts were flung into disorder.

"Keep pushing!" Elaine ordered. "Don't give them the advantage!"

She and the others charged the final soldiers, and it wasn't long before the final drone fell. Grunt cheered, and others went around making sure their wounds were few and minor. In fact, most of them hardly had a scrape. With this boost to their confidence, they all eagerly followed Elaine as she led them further down the passage.

"Shepard," she murmured into her earpiece, "we're proceeding as planned. See you at the rendezvous."

They marched onward, lapsing into silence. Elaine once more attempted to listen out for whatever lay ahead. But the further into the station they went, the harder it was getting to detect them. The feel of the taint was so strong everywhere, all over the station. And there was this insistent buzzing at the back of her skull, like an oncoming headache; she couldn't be rid of it. It distracted her true sixth-sense to such a degree, that she almost missed the warning in her blood as they came around the corner.

"Wait a moment!" she hissed and slammed on the brakes, bringing her group to an abrupt halt. Listening to what her blood told her, she peeked around the corner, and grimly realised her instincts weren't wrong. Turning back to her people, she told them in a quiet voice: "They know we're coming. There's a large group of them lying in wait just ahead." A plan formulated in her head, and she immediately turned to the little woman at the back of the group. "Kasumi, cloak and tell us their positions."

The master thief still looked pale and half frightened to death. "Elaine, I… I don't know if I–"

"You can do this. I know you can."

She looked ready to bolt, but slowly nodded. A flick of her wrist, and suddenly she disappeared out of sight. The group waited in tense silence for what felt like forever, before there was a flicker of light, and then Kasumi was knelt right beside Elaine, attempting to hide her shallow breathing and sickly hue. "There's two with the big beams on either side of the room. The rest are grouped together in the middle of the room."

"Good work, Kausmi." Elaine murmured, hand on her friend's shoulder. She turned back to the others and immediately began to check off her plan. "Tali, can you hack the assassins' shields? Thane, Zaeed, you two then take them out. Jack and Grunt, you're at the charge with me. The rest of you, pair up and shoot down any reinforcements as they arrive."

Grunt slammed his fists together eagerly. "Bout time!"

Tali fired off her omnitool, and they heard the startled clicks and shrieks from their prey. Zaeed and Thane popped out of hiding and immediately let off their shots. Elaine, Grunt and Jack charged in straight after. The plan couldn't have gone more perfect even if the Maker himself had overseen it all. The Collectors fell to bullets and sword, and even those that came in to reinforce them were plucked out of the air. As she battled her way through, Elaine noticed the doors, their goal, on the other side of the room.

"Shepard? We're here. Waiting for the doors to open." She said into her earpiece. She stiffened when she felt the tell-tale tingle of the taint, and spun around, pushing to the front of her troops. "Prepare. More inbound."

Perhaps it was her imagination, but the Collectors that came at them seemed to fight twice as hard, as if they knew their plan to get into the central chamber. Unfortunately, Elaine was unable to get in close, the moment she tried to pop her head out of cover, the Collectors focused most of their fire on her. Reaching down, she unclipped the pistol at her belt. Controlling her breathing, she attempted to recall all of what Garrus had taught her. She breathed in, sighted her target, let the breath out, released.

The great doors opened, and Elaine pushed her people through it without hesitation. She smiled at the familiar sight of the Geth. "Legion! Thank you,"

The geth tilted his head as if confused as to why she was being grateful. "We are only doing as instructed by Shepard-Commander. There is nothing to thank."

"Less talk more shooting!" Jack shouted.

A hum in the air accompanied a familiar buzz in Elaine's blood. She looked upwards and ducked further into the doors. "Above us! Seeker Swarms!"

 _"_ _Elaine, we're in position!"_ came Shepard's voice in her ear. _"We need this door open, now!"_

Immediately, she pushed the Geth up towards the doors just a little further off. "Legion, get to Shepard. We'll handle this."

"The door has malfunctioned. Path blocked." He announced as soon as he came to the terminal. Crouching, his fingers dashed over the keys with incredible speed and precision. After a few seconds, the door grated open. "Complete."

Shepard, Garrus and Miranda dove inside, gunfire licking at their heels. "Here they come!"

With Legion closing the doors behind her team, Elaine ran with them to Shepard's side, her pistol alongside their guns. "To the door! No one gets through!"

Over a dozen muzzles pointed through the crack in the doorway to shoot down the Collectors that raced to try and get to them. Each target was picked out and slain before it could get close. Elaine was certain more than a few of her shots went wide, but she still contributed and felt a lick of pride whenever one of her shots hit the intended target. And then, finally, the doors were sealed shut, and the group was allowed time to breathe.

"Nice work, Legion," Shepard panted, hands on his knees as if he had run a marathon. "Knew I could count on you."

Elaine's eyes immediately searched the team until they were met with familiar sky-blue. Garrus grinned down at her, but she could see the relief melting away the worry in his tense shoulders. "Kept my promise, didn't I?"

"Indeed," she whispered, and couldn't stop herself from reaching for his hand. "I should expect nothing less from the King of the bottle-shooters."

"Shepard!" Miranda suddenly called out, her voice alarmed. "You need to see this…"

Elaine looked up with all the others, and soon found her breath stolen away. They'd reached the central chamber. It stretched for miles, until the shadows obscured both the ceiling and the floor far down below. Along every wall were rows upon rows of pods. It made the chamber they'd discovered inside the Collector Ship feel miniscule in comparison. There were even pods to either side of the doors they'd just entered from. The crew wandered gingerly through them, hesitant to touch them in case of some adverse reaction to the slightest tampering. Peering through the glass, they saw a human inside, slumped and eyes closed as if asleep or dead. Her hair was brown hair and strong cheekbones and jawline.

"Looks like one of the missing colonists." Miranda murmured.

"Wait, I remember her…" Elaine's eyes bulged as recognition finally sparked to life. She remembered that face from when she'd first awoken in this new world. "That's Lilith! She found me on Horizon."

As if her words had penetrated the pod, the body inside began to move. Lilith's eyes fluttered open, and she finally began to waken. She looked all around at the pod encasing her, panic mounting in her face as her hands came up to beat against her prison.

"My god! She's still alive!" Shepard exclaimed. All along this section of the wall, more people began to stir awake. The commander hurriedly snapped orders at his crew. "Get them out of there! Hurry!"

They each went to either side of a pod and began to pull and claw at the seam to try and open it. A few others tried to smash the buts of their rifles to try and smash them open. A soft hiss trickled through the pipes connecting to the pods. Elaine tried to study it a moment, and felt an intense heat radiating out. Lilith's screaming suddenly took on a higher pitch. Elaine gaped in horror as she saw burning blisters begin to erupt all across the woman's skin. She beat her hands against the pod, leaving bloody trails where she touched as her skin melted off of her bones. Frantically, the Warden pulled out her sword and tried to use it as a lever to crack open the pod. It didn't work, and Lilith continued to scream and melt away. Other voices joined hers and the screaming echoed all around her ears.

Screaming with them, Elaine pulled back and tried to hack and slash at the pod, trying to break it open any way possible. Hands grabbed her shoulders, and Garrus fought her to pull her away. Lilith was gone, melted completely away into a bloody puddle at the bottom of the pod. He turned her face into his shoulder so she wouldn't have to see, and it was only then that Elaine realised she was crying, the screams of the dying still reverberating in her ears. Beyond, she could hear other pods being cracked open, of bodies being dragged out. It only made her failure feel more terrible. Slowly, Garrus led her away to sit down, to breathe. She was heaving, the image of Lilith and other people melting away made her stomach convulse as if to make her vomit.

At some point, she must've been aware that the Normandy crew had been saved from their pods, each one kneeling on the floor and being checked over to be sure they were all fine. Shepard knelt beside a familiar grey-haired motherly figure. "Doctor Chakwas? Are you okay?"

The older woman looked up at her commander as if unsure if this were an illusion conjured by her desperate mind. "Shepard? You… you came for us?"

"No one gets left behind." He told her, and helped her to her feet.

"Thank god you got here in time," said Kelly, the usually chipper woman's voice sounded like a child's, broken and small. "A few more seconds and… I don't even want to think about it!"

"The Colonists were… processed," explained Chakwas, her face losing whatever colour it had left as she pointed to the tubes coming from the ceilings that connected to each pod. "Those swarms of little robots, they… _melted_ their bodies into grey liquid and pumped it through these tubes."

Elaine pressed a hand to her mouth as she tried to keep her own stomach in check. Garrus squeezed her shoulder. Shepard's voice sounded far away: "But why? What do they want with our genetic material?"

As she sat there and attempted to control herself, Elaine's mind began to wander. A hauntingly terrible yet beautiful sound echoed at the back of her mind. Distracted, she slowly peered down the chamber, to where the deepest shadows hid. Though the music were in her head, it were as if she could hear it with her own ears, and it seemed to come from there. It was such a horrible sound, she wanted to instinctively hide away from it. But at the same time there was such an unearthly beauty to it, it seemed to put her in a trance, calmed her, soothed away all her hurt and fatigue until all she wanted to do was get lost in it forever…

 _"_ _Roger, Commander."_ Joker's voice burst through her earpiece, breaking the spell. Elaine shook her head, attempting to root herself in the present. Perhaps her mind was more strained than she'd realised. _"All those tubes lead into the main control room right above you. The route is blocked by a security door, but there's another chamber that runs parallel to the one you're in."_

 _"_ _I cannot recommend that."_ Countered EDI. _"Thermal emissions suggest the chamber is overrun by Seeker Swarms. Mordin's countermeasures cannot protect you from so many at once."_

Shepard stood there in thought for a moment, before he turned to Samara. The entire crew were gathered around, awaiting the next phase of their plan. "What about biotics? Could we create a biotic field to keep them from getting near us?"

"Yes," nodded the Justicar. "I think it is possible. I wouldn't be able to protect everyone. But we might be able to get a small team through if we stayed close."

"Shepard?" Elaine said suddenly, an idea forming in her mind. "I am invisible to the Seeker Swarms, remember? Perhaps I can also be of assistance so that Samara need not strain so hard."

Garrus frowned. "Elaine, are you sure?"

"I'm fine." She muttered and stood. Shepard nodded and she began to unclip her left gauntlet. She slid the glove off and passed it to Garrus. Trying to ignore the shake in her wrists, she reached back to pull her sword free. Every instinct told her that what she was doing was wrong, it was evil! This is something a _Maleficar_ would do! But Flemeth's voice encircled her mind, whispering her onwards. With a bracing deep breath, she placed her sword against her naked palm, and with a quick slice, she cut it open.

Gritting her teeth against the sting, she walked towards Shepard. He instantly recoiled. "Wait, what are you doing?"

"The taint is in my blood. And blood, as I've come to realise, holds its own power." Though he still looked deeply disturbed, he nodded. Elaine pressed her palm against Shepard's breastplate and smeared it across his armour.

"Tali? You come with me, Elaine and Samara through the Seeker Swarms." Shepard announced, and Elaine went to each of them in turn to coat her blood on the front of their armour as well. Once that was done, she allowed Garrus to apply some medigel to the wound, and she put her gauntlet back on. Shepard continued: "The rest of you provide a diversion by going through the main passage. When we're in position, Tali can open the security doors from the other side and we'll meet you there."

"Who should lead the diversion team?" Miranda asked.

The Commander didn't need to speak, all he had to do was look to his best friend. Garrus nodded. "I got you covered, Shepard. I'll keep the defenders busy. You slip around the back."

"What about us, Shepard?" asked Chakwas. "We're in no shape to fight."

"Shepard," Elaine warned, "if we leave them here, then they're as good as dead. They need to get some place where they won't take up our attention."

 _"_ _Believe I can help with that, Commander,"_ Joker chimed in. _"We got enough systems back online to do a pickup, but we'd need to land back from your position."_

Shepard nodded. "You'll never make it without help. Mordin? You escort them back."

The salarian smiled and immediately turned to his omnitool. "Indeed. Joker? Will need coordinates."

"We've all got our assignments. Let's move out!"

The group parted ways. Elaine caught Garrus' gaze only once. They nodded to each other, reaffirming the promise again. And then, he was gone, leading the others away. Shepard led the way for the four of them to make it to the swarm-filled room. EDI hadn't been exaggerating when she'd said the Seeker Swarms had overrun this chamber. There were so many of the flying insects that they swallowed up what little light remained here. As they entered, Samara put up her biotic-shield. Even Elaine could tell that she put it to full strength at first, before noticing that none of the bugs above them seemed aware of their presence. The Justicar gave her a small smile, before dropping her shield strength to conserve her energy.

"Moving out. Try to stay close, Commander," said Samara.

 _"_ _Garrus here,"_ came the Turian's voice on the comm. though it was almost impossible to discern his words through the heavy static. _"Team is in position and waiting for your orders, Shepard."_

"Damn." Shepard cursed. "The swarms are interfering with radio-contact."

"I'll work on that as we go." Piped up Tali.

"At least the Seekers aren't taking much notice – nice work with the pain-job." Shepard said with a grin to Elaine.

She did not share his positivity. A creeping sensation like she was being watched crawled up her spine. "Be wary. It might grant us invisibility to them, but should the Collectors cross our path, the swarms will still be under the orders of their masters."

Samara nodded. "And that is what I am here for."

And it didn't take long for them to encounter said Collector troops. They flew in from above and attempted to shoot them down. Shepard pushed Samara behind cover, before he and Tali began to fire back. Elaine dared not leave the protection of the shield. Whilst she knew the bugs might very well ignore her, she needed to take her own advice and realise they would obey their Collector masters. She felt utterly useless, right up until she heard a miserably groaning. From around the corner came a lumbering blue abomination, pointing its arm and letting off a powerful shockwave that threatened to tear apart the earth underneath it.

"Scion!" Shepard warned.

"I've got it!" Elaine shouted and charged. She sprinted out of the shield, feeling the hum of the taint and the beat of swarming wings all around her. Perhaps they were ignoring her, or perhaps she was running too fast for their stingers to catch her skin. Either way, she didn't slow to see which one it was. As she came up to the Scion, she dove out of the way of its next shockwave attack, and rolling up to a crouch, sliced off one of its legs. The thing fell with an indignant groan. Jumping up onto a rock ledge, the Warden then used her higher vantage and plunged her blade through the Scion's neck. The head rolled and the body fell into limp mush.

Samara and the others quickly came to her side, putting the shield over her before they could risk the Seeker Swarms getting to her. Elaine nodded her thanks before the group carried on. Tali tinkered on her omnitool, until finally the static in the comm. system lifted and they could hear voices once more.

 _"_ _Hostiles engaged."_ Announced Garrus, before he quickly crowed with triumph. _"Nice shooting!"_

Elaine rolled her eyes at Tali. "He's enjoying this, isn't he?"

The Quarian giggled, but it was cut short as Collector gunfire rained down on them. The foursome dove for cover, and Elaine pulled out her pistol. She fired along with the others at the Collectors who hounded them. Shepard pushed them onward, firing all around to offer Samara cover.

As they came to a steep downward slope, Elaine noticed the Justicar beside her begin to stumble, her head drooping slightly. "Samara? You alright?"

"I will hold on… as long… as I can…" she grunted, as if just straining out the words were difficult. She stumbled, her steps growing wobbly the longer she held up the shield. Elaine immediately put away her gun and draped one of Samara's arms across her shoulder. The asari kept up her shield, even as Elaine helped to carry her down towards the doors at the bottom of the hill. "I can see the entrance… Need to… get there… soon."

"Shepard! Collectors on our six!" Tali called out, shotgun firing off.

"Hold on! We're almost there!" Shepard called back, his gun clicking when his thermal clip ran empty. He frantically switched out his weapons. More Collectors arrived to hound them. "They're pushing! Keep it up!"

Samara's face crumbled, sweat drenching her brow. "Hurry, Shepard."

Elaine and Samara were the first to reach the doors. As the Warden released her hold on the Justicar, Shepard joined them. Glancing back, Elaine's eyes went wide as she realised Tali had fallen behind. The Quarian was valiantly attempting to keep the Collectors back, not wanting them so close when she made a run for it. However, more kept coming, and the little woman was quickly surrounded.

She stumbled back, her feet wobbling close to the edge of the walkway, nothing but dark abyss below. Realising the mortal danger, Tali let off one last desperate scream. "Shepard!"

Elaine was running before she even registered what she was doing. Her shield was her battering ram as she slammed it into Collectors and flung them aside. Just as she got to her, the Quarian's arms pinwheeled as she lost her balance and fell into the dark. The Warden dove, stomach sliding along the ground, arms draped over the edge as she snatched out her friend. "Tali!"

Her hand clasped onto Tali's wrist. The Quarian held onto her, crying out in terror. Gritting her teeth against the strain on her shoulder, Elaine pulled with all her might, and heaved the other woman upwards until she could latch onto the edge and hoist herself up. She didn't let go until Tali was safely on back on the walkway. If this were a fairy-story, Elaine might've smiled and hugged her to be sure they were both alright. But there was no time for such sentimentality. She pulled Tali to her feet and shoved her towards Shepard and the waiting doors. Samara had a biotic blast primed and ready to deploy at their enemies, but Tali and Elaine needed to get out of the way.

Something slammed into Elaine's back and halted her footsteps.

 ** _"_** ** _Direct intervention is necessary."_**

Pain bloomed in her side. Elaine looked down and saw one long pincer-like appendage stabbed through her stomach. Clicking filled her ears. She glanced over her shoulder to see a gigantic version of a Collector, in all its insectoid disgusting glory, watching her with its twitching eyes. It looked so different from the others, so much larger, like the difference between a Queen Bee to her drone bees. Noticing that Elaine wasn't running with her, Tali stopped and looked back – and stared _up_ in horror at the monster holding onto her friend.

Shepard was shouting and running towards her, desperation in his gaze as he tried to come to her rescue. More spear-like legs surrounded Elaine as the Collector general held onto her, like a spider using all its legs to hold onto prey. She knew he wouldn't make it, and either he or Tali would lose their lives. _No,_ she thought fiercely just as she had back on top of Fort Drakon, _I cannot lose one more – not a single one!_ Huge wings opened from the general's back and began to quickly hum. Before it could take off, Elaine kicked out with her legs into Tali's stomach, sending her flying backwards into Shepard's waiting arms.

The General lifted off, and the ground was taken away from as she ascended up into the darkest reaches of the hive. The only sounded that haunted her more, was Tali's scream that followed after her: " _ELAINE!"_


	40. The Suicide Run

Garrus and the Second Fire Team slid in through the doors that opened behind them. A part of him couldn't believe the Collector's had fallen for that trick a second time. But then again, another part of him was incredibly pleased with how well he and his team had done. It felt… surprisingly good to be back in the role of command. After what had happened to his team on Omega, a small voice had whispered that he wasn't cut out for this. Yet seeing everyone flow under his command, it had stirred something in him that made him walk a little taller, a little prouder.

 _"_ _Mordin just arrived with the crew, Commander,"_ said EDI's voice as both groups stopped to catch their breath. _"No casualties among them."_ It brought Garrus back to the present. Perhaps this wasn't the best place to do a little soul-searching, he reasoned with himself.

He scanned the crowd of his teammates, eager to see her again. Maybe he was acting a teenager again, but he couldn't help it. He had to be sure she was alright. He knew she was perfectly capable of looking after herself, it was one of the many things he found so attractive about her, and he also knew she didn't need him guarding her six like a mother-krogan. At the same time, however, this was the final push, and just because everything was going well so far, didn't mean he shouldn't be a little worried. He had to keep up his pessimistic reputation, after all.

"Hey," said Jack suddenly, "where's princess?"

Garrus felt something cold coil in his stomach. His eyes and his visor scoured the group more thoroughly this time. His heart began to pound when he realised he couldn't see her anywhere. Tali slid to the floor and buried her mask in her hands, her shoulders shaking as if from… _No,_ he told himself. He looked to Shepard, desperate for him to say she was just around the corner, bringing up the rear. But the Commander had a crushed, shaken expression on his face. The turian reached out to touch the wall to be sure he wouldn't lose his balance. _No!_

"There were too many Collectors," said Shepard in a hollow voice. "The Collector General himself – the one who calls himself Harbinger – he came and he… and he…"

Tali's sobbing grew into a mournful wail. "It's all my fault! I should've kept up! We lost her because of me!"

Samara knelt beside the small Quarian woman and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Elaine fought to the last to keep all of us safe, as was her nature. She allowed the General to take her so that we may escape. Let us not make her sacrifice meaningless."

Garrus had to employ all of his self-control in order to not explode in a fit of rage and grief. He couldn't stand it to listen to them talk like she was dead. And damnit, he was especially mad with _her!_ Of course she would be stupid enough to sacrifice herself to save others, that was what she did! Hadn't she told him hours earlier that she wouldn't allow anyone of them to die, by whatever means necessary? Guess that meant giving herself up to achieve that goal. He was furious – beyond furious! How dare she think herself lesser than everyone else, how dare she believe her life less important than any of theirs that she could just throw it away?!

Well, he would just need to remind her of the foil in that logic once he found her. Snatching up his rifle in hand, the Turian stormed through his companions to trek back down the tunnel where Shepard and the others had come. He didn't make it ten steps before Shepard's voice called out after him: "Garrus?! Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"To bring her back." He snapped over his shoulder.

"Oh no you don't!" a hand suddenly grabbed Garrus' shoulder and spun him round. "You can't go back that way, its swarming with Seekers and Collectors."

He whirled around on his commander, mandibles pulled down to reveal all his teeth in a snarl. "I don't give a damn if there's a fucking Reaper back there! I'm going."

"And what good will it do to get yourself killed? We already lost Elaine, I'm not losing you too."

"She's not dead, Shepard!" He shouted so loud, the cavern large cavern shouted back his echoes for several seconds. With a sigh, Garrus deflated as the situation, the truth of Shepard's words, and the crushing sensation of despair finally hit him. "She's not dead. I… I _can't_ believe that."

"Garrus, you don't think this is tearing me up as well? I'm hurting so bad I wanna burn every last one of these fuckers for this. But we can't go back. There is no turning back now. And you know she would've wanted us to blow this hell-hole away first."

"Shepard, I… Don't ask me to give up."

"I'm not going to." Hand still on Garrus' shoulder, Shepard pulled him aside until the pair of them were slightly out of earshot. The commander dropped his voice to just above a whisper. "I promise you, Garrus: once we set that bomb, we'll come back and try to find her on the way out… even if it's just to reclaim… _what's left._ "

He didn't want to admit how just hearing those words made him feel sick to his stomach. Mutely, he nodded, every cell in his body going numb as Shepard wandered back to the others. They were discussing the next phase of the plan, setting up a strategy so that they could set the bomb. Garrus heard none of it, it all fell on deaf ears. His mind was too busy stuck on the one image of Elaine, as she'd last seen him, glowing with hope and determination, enough to make even him believe they had a real chance of coming out of this without casualties. And then he thought of her laid down somewhere cold and dark, her body broken and torn open, or trapped in a pod, or worst of all melted down into grey liquid whilst she screamed. He shivered violently at the disturbing images his own twisted mind conjured up. Why did it all have to fall apart so fast? Not six hours ago, he'd held her in his arms, been with her, and she'd felt _so good_ … For a moment, he'd even deluded himself into thinking she was all he wanted out of life from now on. If he could wake up every morning with her in his arms, he'd die a happy man…

And now he might've just lost her before he even realised just what all this meant. Spirits, he was such an idiot.

"Garrus?" came Shepard's voice suddenly. Garrus' eyes blinked several times as they adjusted him back into the present. Shepard was stood before him, arm held out towards him. "I want you with me for the final push. Can I count on you?"

For a moment, Garrus considered telling him no. He was too unstable right now, he couldn't think straight, he was all over the place. How could Shepard trust him when he didn't even trust himself to keep it together? But the Commander did. He was his best friend. And Garrus had always vowed to stay on his six. Slowly, he clasped hold of Shepard's hand. "Always."

* * *

The world tilted and wobbled, attempting to completely disorientate Elaine as she was carried through the station. Desperately, she tried to remember the way the General had taken her, putting all the twists and turns into the back of her mind for when she escaped. _If_ she escaped.

 _Don't think like that_ , she scolded herself. She might've accepted her fate to die for the sake that others might live, but until she was actually dead she would always continue to fight.

Abruptly, she was released and dropped to the floor with a heavy _THUNK_. Elaine cried out, clutching her side where the General's spear-like legs had pierced her. Thankfully, the wound was shallow and hadn't penetrated any vital organs – or at least she hoped. Her shaking fingers fiddled with her omnitool, trying to remember how to summon the healing gel Shepard and the others used so often. Struggling to her knees, she tried to get her bearings. She was in what she could only describe as a command centre. A long corridor stretched into darkness behind her, the only way in apart from the open roof where she and the General had just arrived from. On the far wall were dozens of monitors, each displaying videos and other lists of information. At the centre of the room was a hexagonal terminal like structure. It flickered with light like a computer, but Elaine's initially thought it looked like a shrine. Behind the central shrine, the Collector General stood, grotesque and abominable in appearance. Its legs and head kept twitching like a machine with a glitch, eyes tilted upwards to peer into the central terminal.

Elaine followed the General's gaze, and found herself looking into a golden holographic picture of another entity. It was so strange, it appeared as if it were a creature from the deepest oceans, with a long bulbous body, four main legs with half a dozen smaller ones, and four glowing pits for eyes. Despite the fact that it didn't look like any creature alive, the Warden couldn't help but feel as if this hologram was staring right at her. A feeling of the deepest foreboding came over the woman, a chill in her breath as if death himself had touched her.

"Who are you?" she heard herself asking in a breathless voice.

"I am the Harbinger of your perfection." Came a deep an immovable voice that she recognised all too well.

Surprised, Elaine turned to the General, but it had not moved, only staring straight at the floating image. But she recognised that voice, it was the voice of all the Collectors who had acted as if possessed by another force. She had assumed that seeing as how they were insect-like, the Collectors must work in a hive-mind way. Yet now it seemed that someone else pulled those strings. "They're puppets… They're _all_ your puppets."

"I am assuming control for this exchange." Harbinger said, his hologram flashing when he spoke.

"Then you're… You're a Reaper," a violent shudder rippled through her as she beheld the monster of Shepard's tales.

" _Reaper_ is a label constructed by the Protheans to give a name to the force that caused their destruction. It is irrelevant. We are simply the entities that will guide your species to its destiny." Harbinger paused, and Elaine felt her skin crawl as if the godly-machine's eyes had ghosted over her flesh. "You are different. You will not ascend with the others of your species. Instead, you will submit."

White hot pain surged through Elaine's blood. She crumpled to the floor with a scream. There was a deafening howl inside her head, a music that was clashing on all the notes to make a discordant blast of protest. Convulsing and thrashing, the Warden attempted to fight it as the very taint within her bloodstream attempted to combat her. She'd known the Reapers had attempted to weaponize the Taint of the Darkspawn, but she hadn't thought they'd be able to force her down so easily through it. The agony was unbearable, the ringing inside her ears wouldn't stop!

Her eyes squeezed shut, an image of Flemeth's face awaited behind her eyelids. That golden gaze was piercing and hard, a cold smile curling at the edges of her mouth. A thousand of the witch's words slammed into her at once, all that she'd heard before. And then, Elaine grit her teeth, and fought with herself to regain control of her own body. She pushed down with all the willpower she had to squash the fire in her blood into a tiny little box.

"This is true power. You cannot resist."

The box was hard to close, it fought back. But she pushed and she shoved, until it was all locked away. "I won't let you have me!" she hissed through clenched teeth, her icy eyes ablaze up at the hologram. "I've killed _Gods_. I've stared into the face of death. I am a Grey Warden. And I will _not_ fall to you."

Harbinger was silent a moment. And then, the General's eyes began to glow and he moved twitchily towards her, even as Harbinger continued his taunts. "Then, if I must tear your apart, _Warden_ , I will."

* * *

"My God…"

Shepard felt the ground threaten to fall out from underneath him as he stared upwards in slack jawed horror. A human skeleton made out of metal, maybe 50feet tall, hung from the ceilings in the chamber, only the head, arms and upper torso were complete, what might resemble the spinal-column dangling uselessly like a stumpy tail. The head was slumped, the skeleton held up by chains and tubes attached to its wrists that pumped the genetic material of the colonists into it. The human Spectre had seen a lot of disturbing shit in his time, but looking up at this _thing,_ it was certainly close to the top of the list. He didn't need to look at Garrus or Miranda to know they both felt exactly the same way.

"They're… they're making a _human_ Reaper?" Garrus choked out. "H-How?!"

"They melt a species down during a cycle…" Miranda's voice sounded hollow, horrified, small. "Use it to form the core, and then plaster their synthetic shell on top."

"What was it the Collectors said? This is our genetic destiny?"

Shepard remembered that too; suddenly that memory had a dreadful significance to it now. "Doesn't matter what this is. We're destroying this abomination. Now."

* * *

Elaine screamed. "Get out of my head!"

The pounding was infuriating, the whispers seeming to roar all around her ears. She fought, able to keep it at bay from completely taking control of her mind. Yet every time she did, Harbinger had the Collector General shake her, or try to stab her with his pointed legs. "It will stop when you submit."

"Never!"

"You are ignorant, incapable of understanding; we are knowing." Harbinger spoke in such a condescending way, as if he were speaking to a stupid child. Elaine wish he had a face so she could punch it. "Your species will be elevated to the pinnacle of evolution and existence. And you shall be our tool. You cannot escape the inevitable."

The buzzing grew louder, the fire in her blood burned hotter. She growled and fought it. The General stabbed at her wound, easily slicing through the work of her medigel to reopen it and splash her blood onto the floor. Elaine screeched, back arching, concentration slipping for a fraction of a second. It was so hard to keep this up with Harbinger assaulting both her mind and body. She was so exhausted already, she wanted to sleep. But no, she thought fiercely, she wouldn't give this bastard the satisfaction. Even when the General picked her up as if she were a pig on a meat hook and hoisted her towards his many screens.

"Organic civilisations rise, evolve, advance," explained Harbinger. "And at the apex of their glory, they must submit to the harvest. The cycle cannot be broken. It is the natural order. Your extinction is coming."

"There's nothing natural about this! What you do is evil – and we will stop you."

" _Evil_ is a flawed concept. It implies intentions of pure maliciousness. That is not us. Organics only bring chaos, devastation, and ruin. _You_ fight for what you perceive to be order, justice. In doing so, you struggle against your very nature. All for naught. If not for us, you would bring about the death of not just yourselves, but of everything."

Despite everything, Elaine threw her head back and laughed coldly. "You cannot honestly believe that you do this out of some kind of twisted _mercy!_ "

"You are short-sighted. Despite your societal constructs, your species is still primitive. You will lead to this galaxy's destruction if left to your own devices. Even now, you turn on each other."

"You're wrong." She spat.

"Behold." The General thrust Elaine towards one of the particular terminals, almost smashing her face into it. She grunted as the movement aggravated the wound from which he held her up in the air. On the terminal in front of her, she saw a large chamber, a metal human skeleton hung from the ceiling, though lopsided as if about to fall. And as tiny as ants, she could make out the figures of Shepard, Garrus and Miranda picking off targets, as the Collectors tried to vanquish them. Harbinger's voice was in her ear, as if sneering. "Even those you deem as allies plot to undo all that you have fought for, all for the promise of power…"

* * *

A screech of metal, the clank of snapping chains, and the deformed-looking metal skeleton lurched from its place. There was a dreadful moment where Shepard thought it wouldn't fall, but then, another load groan resounded around the chamber, and everything snapped. The skeleton fell into the deep pit far below it, the crash of its fall echoing up like music to the Commander's ears. He spat over the edge of the platform to the monster's new grave.

He immediately patched into the earpiece. "Shepard to ground team – status report."

" _It's Thane!"_ came the silky voice of the Drell, which Shepard noticed with a slight hint of alarm sounded breathless. _"We are holding but they keep coming. A quick exit is preferable._ "

"Head to the Normandy. Joker? Prep the engines. I wanna be out of here the minute I get on board."

There was a moment of pause before the trusty pilot responded with trepidation. _"Err, Commander? I've got an incoming message from the Illusive Man? EDI's patching it through_."

Shepard cocked a brow at Garrus and Miranda behind him. What did he want now? And why now at this moment? Garrus pressed a few buttons on his omnitool and a hologram of the Cerberus figurehead was projected into the air in front of Shepard. The older man was beaming with excitement. " _Shepard! You've done the impossible."_

"I'm not finished here yet," the Commander promised darkly. "This base is gonna be blown sky-high…"

 _"_ _Wait… I have a better option."_ There was a hard and calculating look in the Illusive Man's eye, a look that didn't sit well with Shepard. _"I'm looking at the schematics EDI uploaded. A timed radiation pulse would kill the remaining Collectors, but leave the machinery and technology intact. This is our chance, Shepard. They were building a Reaper, that knowledge, that framework could save us."_

Shepard blinked in gawking horror, unable to believe what he had just heard. When he finally managed to process it, his next words came out as a cold hiss. "They liquified people. Turned them into something horrible. And you wanna _us that?!"_

 _"_ _Don't be short-sighted. Our best chance against the Reapers is to turn their own resources against them."_

"I'm not so sure…" Miranda murmured, and Shepard only just noticed that she was standing a little ways off, arms folded around her chest, a disturbed expression on her face. "Seeing it first-hand… Using anything from this base seems like a betrayal."

 _"_ _If we ignore this opportunity,_ _ **that**_ _would be a betrayal."_ The Illusive Man snapped at the woman over his shoulder. Shepard's brows pulled down to hear someone talk to his crew like that. _"They were working directly with the Collectors – who knows what information is buried there! This base is a gift, we can't just destroy it."_

"You're completely ruthless." He growled. "Next thing I know, you'll be wanting to grow your own Reaper."

 _"_ _My goal is to save humanity from the Reapers – at_ _ **any**_ _cost. I've never hidden that from you. Imagine how many lives could be saved if we keep this base intact and use its knowledge to thwart the Reapers."_ Shepard chewed his lip to try and give no response, even when the Illusive Man's words made far too much sense for his liking. But the smug asshole seemed to realise it anyway, for he continued on. _"Shepard, you died fighting for what you believed in – I brought you back so you could keep fighting. Some might say what we did to you was going too far – but look what you've accomplished! I didn't discard you because I knew your value. Don't be so quick to discard this facility. Think of the potential!"_

God-damn him, but Shepard could only sit and think about it. He was always a man who believed the ends justified the means – in most circumstances. He made the tough choices no one else wanted to because he knew that it would get the best outcome the quickest. It was always a calculation to Shepard, of weighing up the cost and trying to see if the rewards could make up for it. But could that be applied now? Shepard was in the biggest fight of his life, the fight against the Reapers, and he would need every advantage he could get to beat them. But could he do that with this place? Could he sleep at night knowing the screams of the people who haunted this place would forever echo down these walls? Or could he afford to let millions of others die because he had been too 'short-sighted' to do what needed to be done? He'd let the colony on Feros die because it had been infected with a mind-controlling parasite that had made them become a danger to him, his mission and his crew. He'd killed the last Rachni Queen because he knew they were too dangerous to be let loose on the galaxy again. Yes, he told himself. Most times, the ends justified the means.

So what about now?

* * *

Elaine watched in mounting frustration and despair as Shepard paused to consider the Illusive Man's offer. She wanted to scream at the images in front of her. Couldn't they see how all this evil needed to be destroyed? Was what Harbinger said true? Would they all cast aside her sacrifices, the morals she'd taught them, all for the sake of power? The doubt wormed its way into her brain, and for a brief second, it made the terrible whispers all the louder inside her brain.

Harbinger's voice was all around her, sneering at her. "You organics have always been weak, cruel, selfish and capable of the greatest horrors. And now you will know order and servitude."

For a second, she was inclined to agree with him. But then, memories flashed before her eyes. She remembered Tali and Legion overcoming their adversity to begin to form a bridge that divided their people. She remembered feeling the anguish and despair of the Krogan homeworld be abolished even briefly by Wrex and his fight for a better future for his people. She remembered the workers at the refinery who had stood up to Zaeed to devotedly protect her. And she remembered Shepard, fighting every day to save the galaxy, even if it seemed impossible.

"No. We won't." she snarled, and suddenly reached back for her sword and swung it in one smooth motion. The blade sliced off the leg that pierced her, and Elaine cried out as she fell to the floor. Panting as she pulled the offending intrusion from her body, she glared up at the image of Harbinger. "We may be everything you say. But we are also so much more. I fight to make life for _all_ better than what it was before. I fight against the worst odds: against enemies unmatched, against the nature of my own species. But I still fight to change it. Because it's not about what we _deserve_. For all your power, you refuse to try. You are the cowards here, not us."

There was a bright and menacing flash from the hologram, and Elaine had the distinct impression she'd pissed him off. "You are bacteria against the infinite of space. Even now we turn your world's most deadly asset against you."

He could've been meaning something entirely different. Maybe he was referring to the weapons of all organics. But something in the way he spoke those words, as if it were directed at _her_ specifically, made her pause. Her skin crawled with a ghostly shiver. It was only then that she noticed a large opening behind the Collector General.

The tunnel was made from protruding rocks in the walls, ceilings and floor, all at odd and sharp angles. Each wall was covered in a foul substance like snakeskin, as dark and toxic as oil. It grew along every surface it could reach, and at the very centre of the web, the earth itself was tarnished and soiled. On the floor lay heavy chains and thick spikes covered in putrid black blood. Faintly, Elaine could hear the echo of that horrible yet beautiful music that buzzed in the back of her skull, almost as if she were a hound able to pick up the briefest scent of a fox not long since vanished on a hunt. She recognised this place, she realised with a sickening sense of dread. This was the place from her dreams… No, not dreams, she thought… _visions_.

"Oh Maker…" she whispered in petrified shock. "What have you done…"

The General leapt at her, pouncing so suddenly he threw Elaine back and made her slide along the floor. She grunted, winded, and only just managed to her shield up in time to block the deadly spear-like legs of the General that were thrust towards her head. It tried to push against her shield, but she held firm, even when her arm strained and trembled under the weight.

The General peered over her shield at her with its malicious eyes, and Harbinger's voice snarled out from both the Hologram and his host body. **_"We are Harbinger. And we will end this."_**

* * *

Shepard chewed his lips, fingers clenched tightly at his sides to stop him from uselessly lashing out. He fixed the hologram before him with an icy and hateful stare, and snorted. "You know what? For a minute there you nearly had me. But turns out you're just as much of a bastard as I always thought. You want your own little torture dungeon? Go ahead. But you ain't getting one out of me. I'll fight the Reapers, and I'll send them back to whatever Hell they crawled out of. But I'll do it _my_ way."

He turned his back on the Cerberus boss, and surprised himself with how there wasn't even a little part of him that disagreed with his statement. No matter what the end result, this price wasn't worth it this time. And realising he had lost the Commander's support, the Illusive Man turned to his only present ally. _"Miranda! Do not let Shepard destroy the base!"_

But the look she gave him was just as cold as Shepard's. "Or what? You'll replace me next?"

 _"_ _I gave you an order, Miranda!"_

"I noticed. Consider this my resignation."

In one last desperate attempt to plead his case, the Illusive Man turned back to the Commander, who was knelt down to reach into one of the central support beams. _"Shepard! Think about what's at stake! About everything Cerberus has done for you! You can't–"_

The hologram finally clicked off. Shepard and Miranda glanced at Garrus, who shrugged. "Felt good to shut him up."

Shepard hid his grin and took the bomb from Miranda. He fiddled with it, adjusting the initial settings so it would go off in twenty minutes instead of ten. He still had a promise to keep to Garrus, after all. But he couldn't afford any more time than that. Pushing the bomb into place, he stepped back, ready to tell the others to make a move, when the ground beneath them began to quake. A large silver skeletal hand erupted out of the deep and hoisted itself up towards the platform. A terrible skull-like face loomed up over the side, and Shepard stared directly into the four hell-fiery orbs of the human Reaper!

* * *

Elaine ducked as another leg tried to swipe at her head, the ferocity of the General's attack pushing her backwards until she could feel her back press against the wall. Barely in time did she manage to get her shield up block the next attack. Blindly, she lashed out with her sword, hoping to get any kind of space between her and her opponent. But the move left her too open. A leg pierced into her stomach wound again. The Warden threw her head back and screamed as it cruelly dug in and twisted, fiery pain exploding along her nerves.

Like a backhand, the General struck Elaine and sent her flying to the ground. She tasted dirt and blood as her face was slammed into the metal floor. The world spun, and with a brief but clouded sense of urgency, she attempted to blink her vision back to normal. She was laid out in front of the terminals, the screens all showing her a different view. But one image caught her attention and made her hold her breath. Shepard, Garrus and Miranda were fighting the metal skeleton, and as they unloaded all their heavy weapons into it, the human-Reaper finally fell with a crash and an explosion. Its flailing arms struck at the platforms her friends were standing on, sending them tipping and tumbling out of control.

"Garrus…" Elaine whispered, terror gripping her heart as she watched him lose his footing and begin to slide towards the edge and the abyss below. Shepard tried to reach for him, but their fingers just missed each other's.

The General's footsteps sounded behind her, getting closer as he advanced. **_"Now you will watch as they all shall perish. One by one."_**

Her mouth fell open in a wordless scream as Garrus dropped over the edge. Her heart shattered. "No… _NO!"_

Her scream was an explosion of sound that detonated a violent fury inside her. The Berserker in her was unleashed as she threw herself to her feet ungracefully, and launched herself at the Collector, still screaming. Starfang dropped from her hands and clattered to the floor. With her left arm, she battered her shield against the General's head with ringing blows over and over. She only paused to swing her right fist into its face, completely demolishing one eye with the force of her blow. She kicked out at its body, and grabbed hold of one of its legs before it could fall. She brought the limb down onto her knee and snapped it clean off. The General shrieked, unable to get enough time to defend itself as Elaine threw her arms around it. It scratched and clawed at her, aggravating old wounds and offering her new ones. But the Warden didn't care, the Berserker rage offering too much adrenaline that made her want to tear apart a mountain. She shoved the General into the central terminals, spitting like a viper. Raising her boot, she kicked out viciously onto the General's back, over and _over_ and _OVER!_

There was a loud _CRACK_ and the General wailed in agony, its back completely broken. Elaine relished in its screams a few seconds, and then allowed the rage to die down just enough inside her to afford rational thinking. She immediately abandoned her prey and returned to the cameras, searching for the right screen that would show her what she wanted to see.

And then she spotted them, and tears dripped down her face as more emotions broke through the dam. "Shepard! Garrus! No-no-no! Please… Maker, please…"

She gripped the terminal screen so hard it cracked at the edges. Shepard was leant over the side where Garrus had fallen, Miranda was behind him attempting to help pull her Commander back up with her biotics… and as she did so, Shepard hoisted up Garrus, who dangled from his hand. Elaine bowed her head, attempting to control the sob of relief that shook her shoulders. Maker help her, she thought she'd lost him for one awful second…

 ** _"_** ** _You may have won this fight,"_** came Harbinger's voice, and Elaine fixed her cold and tear stained face on him. **_"But we will find another way. We will return. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom."_**

With deliberate slowness, Elaine reached down for Starfang and plucked the sword up from the ground. She tasted blood at the edge of her mouth, and spat a glob of it at the Hologram in the central terminal. Staring coolly at Harbinger's image, she levelled her sword at the throat of the General. "Go back to the shadows, Harbinger. Hide where you can, for I promise you this: I, Elaine Cousland, Grey Warden, slayer of gods and monsters, am coming for you. Whatever pact you've made with the Darkspawn will not save you. I will find out what it is you're doing with it. I will stop you. And someday, no matter when or how, I _will_ kill you too."

There was a moment of silence that spoke a thousand words of disdain. And then, Harbinger's image faded away, and the only words he left with were: **_"Releasing control."_**

With one swift move of her sword, Elaine beheaded the Collector General. The diamond-shaped head bounced to her feet, leaving a trail of black blood in its wake. Elaine spat on it again, and kicked it away into a far off corner.

Alarms blasted overhead, and Elaine could feel the fake-taint begin to move at the edges of her senses. Time was short, she realised. Sheathing her sword and clutching her wounded side, she jogged out down the long corridor, determined to find Shepard and the others and get the hell out of here!

* * *

 **Author's Note: Yes, a little Wonder Woman inspiration in here, as well as a couple of Sovereign's lines mixed in as well. I mean, come on, Sovereign is the most iconic Reaper, I had to include it!**

 **Please review.**


	41. The Resolve

Her side was on fire, the pain coursing through her with each strike of her boots on the ground. Her teeth ground together in an effort to squash down the pain. Every inhale was like razors down her throat. Elaine attempted to keep her focus, but she couldn't muster the strength to stretch her senses to wonder where the Collectors might be coming from. Eyes remaining steadfast on the path ahead, her only goal was to keep moving down it. Thank the Maker for the runes in her armour. If it weren't for the spells to minus her fatigue, she knew she wouldn't be able to make it.

As she turned the corner, a tremor shook the base. Either the force was so great or Elaine's knees were so weak; the Warden lost her balance and tumbled forward. The floor fell away from underneath her, and she fell straight through into the hallway below. She cried out, which was cut off with a sharp grunt on her impact with the ground. Deep breaths through the nose was her only way to cope with the agony lacing through her side as she crawled back up to her hands and knees.

" _Elaine_?!" came a voice.

Icy eyes snapped open, her heart skipping a beat. She looked up, pale hair dangling in her face, as three figures ran down the corridor towards her. They fell beside her, and it took a moment for her sight to focus so that she could distinguish them. Shepard's black armour, dirtied and scuffed, was on her left, hoisting her up. Garrus' blue armour, scratched and charred, was right in front of her. Miranda was behind them both, gun held up and ready to fire at the path behind them.

Garrus took hold of Elaine's shoulders and none-too-gently yanked her up onto her feet and crushed her into his arms. He couldn't speak, his mandibles were fluttering too wildly, a growl ripping through his vocal cords. Too many emotions claimed them both for either of them to speak.

"Come on!" Shepard's voice called as if from far away. "We gotta go!"

The lovers pulled away from each other and began to jog back down the corridor. The pain seemed considerably less to Elaine, now that she had the others here with her.

As they ran through the crumbling base, a voice hounded them, seemingly from every shadow, every doorway, every Collector body that laid dead upon the floor: _"Humans, you've changed nothing! Your species has garnered the attention of those infinitely your greater. That which you know as 'Reapers' are your salvation through destruction."_

Finally, they came to a break in the wall, and a stretch of platforms led out towards the open air. The Normandy loomed into view, now able to fly, the roar of its engines like that of a dragon about to swoop onto the battlefield. Miranda, Garrus and Shepard were running across the platforms, to jump across the gap between the end and the door of the Normandy, which Joker held open for them. Elaine went to follow, when her ears heard a high-pitched screech inside her skull.

White light slammed into her eyes. Her knees buckled, and she hit the ground, cradling her head with a scream. The music that had haunted her since she'd first stepped foot into the Collector Base came to a horrendous crescendo inside her. Images flashed before her eyes, so fast they frightened her with their intensity.

 _The Archdemon flew over a Blight-infested world, the grey and destroyed landscape rolling in all directions. Darkspawn of all shapes and sizes roared up to it in adoration. And then from the sky came a horrendous shape, a rock of fire and smoke that descended from the stars. Insect-humanoids swarmed out of it, shooting fire-bolts and stinging weapons. Their chains entangled around the Archdemon, entrapping its legs and encumbering its wings. The Archdemon screamed, but no matter how much fire it spewed forth, more of its trappers came and pulled it into the belly of their ship. There, it was shackled to the floor of a great cavernous dungeon, and spikes were speared into its hide. Metal crawled beneath its skin, the insects came and cut away pieces to replace them with chunks of metal. In fury, the Archdemon screamed out to all servants, to all tainted creatures, in an effort to save it. And then in response, summoned by the great dragon's cries… somewhere far away, an invisible door opened, and Elaine stepped through into a new world._

 _Flemeth shattered the barrage of pain, her face only a hair's breadth away from Elaine's. Her golden eyes sparkled brightly, her white hair flying in a hurricane wind. Yet when she spoke, her voice was quiet and clear. "Do as I have told you, girl. Come home and save us, or else much worse shall come to pass…"_

 _And then, Elaine saw things so fast, she barely had time to register what they were. The Reapers, descending from the shadows beyond stars, coming into the light to rain fire and death from above. The Archdemon appeared, but… changed. Metal gleamed in the sun along one side, and one of its eyes glowed bright with a menacing metallic red. Darkspawn swarmed over lands and oceans, through cities and fields. World after world grew dark. Titans fell from the sky and were dragged up from the deepest oceans. And at the centre of it all, the Archdemon sat atop a throne of bones and roared._

"Elaine!" came a shout that jolted the Warden back to the present. She shakily gazed into Shepard's eyes as he tried to haul her up to her feet and towards the Normandy. "Come on!"

On wobbly legs, she tried to run with him, even as the Collector Base fell apart on their heels and struck down to split the ground around them. She thought they wouldn't make it, the gap between the platform and the Normandy was too wide. But she had no choice, as Shepard thrust his hands into her back and shoved her into the air, before quickly following after. They both slammed into the airlock, tumbling to the ground. Joker wasted no time and slammed the door closed behind them.

What happened next, Elaine knew not. Everything was finally too much. Her eyes closed, and darkness claimed her.

* * *

 _"_ _Shepard."_ The Illusive Man muttered curtly as he stubbed out his cigarette on the arm of his chair. _"You're making a habit out of costing me more than time and money."_

The Commander, bruised and bloodied and scratched, not long off the battlefield and safely away from the burning Collector Base in his dust, couldn't contain the smirk on his face. The conference room was in shambles all around him, panels on the walls completely off and wires dangling with dangerous sparks. Even the table to transmit this conversation was barely functioning, but it was all worth it just to see the storm of fury boiling in the Illusive Man's bright cybernetic eyes.

He made a face and tapped his ear. "Sorry, I'm having trouble hearing you. I'm getting a lot of bullshit on this line."

 _"_ _Don't try my patience,"_ the older man growled out through gritted teeth. _"The technology in that base could've secured human dominance in the galaxy. Against the Reapers and beyond!"_

All humour in Shepard's face vanished as he glared back at the holographic image. "Human dominance? Or just Cerberus?"

 _"_ _Strength for Cerberus is strength for every human. Cerberus is humanity! I should've known you'd choke on the hard decisions. Too idealistic from the start!"_

"Idealistic?" Shepard's brow quirked upwards. "You've got no idea who I am. But I know who _you_ are. I know _what_ you are. I always knew – power hungry, supremacist, terrorists. All of you. Just glad you're finally showing your true colours so I can tell the real you to piss off in person."

In a rush, the Illusive Man loomed up out of his chair and marched towards him, veins in his neck popping out with anger. _"Don't turn your back on me, Shepard! I made you, I brought you back from the dead! I gave you everything, and I can take it all away just as easy."_

"I don't think so." Shepard sneered. "I'm gonna stop the Reapers, but I won't sacrifice the soul of our species to do it. Joker? Lose this channel."

Despite the Illusive Man's chilling last words, Shepard brushed them aside. The triumphant smile on his face remained with him as he marched down through his ruined ship. They were limping their way back to civilisation. Within a few hours, Joker would have them docked and repairs would quickly be underway. For now, even with kinetic barriers covering hull breaches and wires and walls ruined and hanging loose, they all made their way through the endless expanse of stars. As Shepard made his way through his ship, he stopped to speak with every crew member, to be sure they were all well and to see if there was anything he could do for them. It was the least he could offer after personally failing them. But each one just wanted to keep their hands busy. Shepard could understand that; sometimes it felt better to be doing something than lingering in unpleasant memories.

After changing out of his armour into the most comfortable pair of civvies he owned, Shepard finally made his way down to Medbay. He and Garrus had personally carried Elaine's unconscious form down here as soon as Joker had made the FTL jump to safety. Chakwas, even if still pale and shaking, recognised someone in need of her and immediately set about fixing her. Shepard had ordered Garrus out to clean himself up and then had seen to his own duties. Now, as he stepped back into the bright white room, Shepard was a little relieved to find that the Medbay was the least damaged room of all on the Normandy. Across the room, Chakwas was seeing to Elaine, who was laid out on the bed, finally awake after only an hour or two, stripped out of her armour and bandaged up.

Chakwas saw him coming and moved aside to give the pair of them some privacy. Shepard pulled up a chair and straddled it backwards, arms folded over the back, his chin resting atop them. He smiled tiredly. "Hey,"

"Hello," she said in a slightly croaked voice. Her hair was spilled out over the pillow around her like a golden halo. "Did we win?"

"Yep. The Collectors are vanquished, milady."

She huffed a laugh at his attempt at humour. And then, the Warden grew sombre. "Thank you, Shepard. For getting me out of there."

"No one gets left behind."

"But still, if the mission had been at risk because of me–"

"It wasn't." he silenced her by taking hold of her hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Besides? Shouldn't this be good repayment for you saving me?"

"Are we keeping track now? Because I lost count _ages_ back."

They both chuckled, and then Elaine groaned from the pain laughing caused. It was enough to sober Shepard slightly, as he looked over her. Chakwas had messaged him all the work she'd had to do. Elaine had been pretty beat up. Stab wounds, fractures and even an ever-so-slight concussion. Nothing the Doctor's miracle fingers couldn't cure, but still enough to make him worry. He hesitated only a moment, before he allowed his curiosity to get the better of him. "What… what happened back there, Elaine? After you left, we all thought… I was prepared to come back to search for your body. Or whatever was left. I didn't think you'd be alive."

"Neither did I," she whispered, her eyes suddenly unreadable.

Despite this not being his forte, the Commander tried to be sensitive with the situation. "Can you… tell me?"

Slowly, she did. She confessed to him how the General Collector had abducted her and taken her to its lair. She'd then explained how she'd discovered that the one called 'Harbinger' was not a Collector controlling the others, but a Reaper using the entire race like puppets. In a twisted way, it made sense to Shepard, and it seemed like something the Reapers would do. It also explained all those possessed Collectors they'd had to face in nearly every battle. Elaine then went on to tell him about how Harbinger had attempted to indoctrinate her through using the taint in her blood. There was something, a haunted look in her eyes, but whatever it was, she didn't voice it. And Shepard was satisfied to let her keep that secret while it was still so fresh on her mind – for now. To end her tale, she told him how she killed the General like a badass and made her way through the station to find him. He was grinning proudly and unashamedly at her by the time she finished.

"There's… there's also something I've kind of figured out," she murmured, a lump in her throat. "I know how I came to be here. I told you that when I faced the Archdemon, I was supposed to die. Instead, you could say I was… _transported_. My soul was sent adrift through time and space. We know how the Collectors found my world, it's how they became infected by the taint as soon as they came into contact with it. They… _did something,_ that somehow managed to call me out, and it awoke me. My home's gone. I'm over a thousand years outside my own time. I know you probably don't believe me. But that's the way it is."

Shepard had said it once, and would say it again: everything she told him was a little hard to swallow. However, after everything he'd seen, all that he'd learned whilst in the presence of this woman, he knew not to completely deny it. For now, he would just take it at face value. Instead, he focused on something else and bowed his head in shame. "I'm sorry, Elaine. I'm sorry I couldn't help you find your way home like I promised. Maybe if I'd kept that base intact, the technology could've found a way for you to–"

It was her turn to squeeze _his_ hand. "The fault was not yours. And that place of evil needed to be destroyed. And besides? Maybe now I can leave it behind me, and find something to live for here."

They both knew that home, that family and all that one had ever known, was not so easily forgotten or put to rest. Shepard could see in her eyes that there would be a lot of grieving for all that in the days to come. But the fact that she had the courage to see the worth in the present and not the misery of her loss, always would astound him. Carefully so as not to hurt her, he held up her hand and held it tight in his fist like he would any other Alliance Marine.

"No matter what, it's been – and always will be – an honour to have you with me, Elaine." He told her solemnly.

Propping herself up on her elbow, she gripped his hand back and stared into his eyes. "You are a true soldier, James Shepard. And what's more, you're my friend and brother in arms until the very end."

"Then let's always keep it that way."

A wry smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "Even if we piss each other off most of the time."

Their laughter was interrupted by the opening of the medbay doors. The pair of them looked over and watched the familiar tall figure of the turian shadow the doorway, dressed in plain black and green civvies. Shepard was about to call out his greetings, when he noticed how intently Garrus was staring at Elaine. Looking back at the woman, he noticed the affectionate blush on her cheeks as she stared back. With a snort and a shake of his head, the Commander quietly excused himself, not that either of them heard him anyway. Quietly he slipped out of the medbay and closed the door behind him, determined to go up to his quarters and make a call to a certain Asari…

* * *

Elaine watched as Garrus quickly moved towards her bed, taking up Shepard's seat in one swift move and flopping into it. Her took up her hand in both of his and pressed the back of it against his bowed forehead. A weary sigh escaped him, and Elaine couldn't stop herself from running her fingers over his fringe and face-plates, to make sure he was real. Tears stung the back of her eyes but she held them in. Instead, she put on a smile, letting her relief take the place of any sadness. And when he spoke, the rich and deep sound was like music to her ears.

"I really want to shout at you for being so selfless and heroic and stupid and beautiful. Don't ever do that to me again, okay?" he murmured and finally looked up at her so she could see his eyes. He looked as exhausted as she felt. "Spirits, for a minute I thought I'd never see you again."

"I was worried too," the emotions caught in her throat, threatening to choke her as the smile slipped away and she remembered the horrible things Harbinger showed her. "I watched as you went over the side… the world went dark."

"Doesn't matter now. We're both here. Together. It all worked out."

As he held her hand in his, as he smiled at her, Elaine felt her heart grow so warm she thought she might burst. And then… an odd thought occurred to her that spun a little web in her brain, it grew until suddenly it was all she could think, and her happiness shattered. Everything that had happened in the Collector Base, the vision she had received, it all reminded her of the reality she had been in denial of. What was she doing? She asked herself. She'd just witnessed everything that was at stake, the huge puzzle she had to solve, and why the path she walked was so dangerous for anyone else to walk besides her. The taint was here, in this timeline, and the Reapers were using it for something awful. She was the only one who could deal with this threat, and Garrus could be snatched away from her in the chaos so easily. It hadn't happened this time, but who's to say that next time he would be so lucky?

Now she realised why Alistair had told her very few Wardens he knew had active spouses. More often than not, it ended such relationships. It was a terrible burden, a dreadful fear to carry around. And in one moment of weakness, despite how much it broke her heart to do such a thing, she had to obey reasoning and logic. Once more, Elaine Cousland had to forfeit herself to her duty. It had been her constant companion, since Castle Cousland, since joining the Wardens, since her adventure through the Blight, and even up to her 'death'. All she had ever known was her duty, and it seemed now that it had become such an integral part of her, that she didn't know how to function without it. It dictated her every move in life, even when it hurt her so much.

"No." she whispered and pulled her hand out of his grasp. "It can't."

Garrus looked up at her, startled. "What? Elaine, what are you–"

She conjured every shred of acting skill she possessed to not look at him, to make her voice sound cold and distant. "Garrus, this… whatever _this_ is between us… it shouldn't go any further. We both know it."

"E-Excuse me?" he choked in growing outrage. "For your information _I,_ for one, would like to see where this – _whatever this is between us_ – could go!"

"And what does that mean to you, Garrus?" she snapped, finally fixing him with her icy eyes. "A month? Six? A year? Life? Speak! I want to hear _exactly_ where you thought this would lead."

Garrus sat there fuming, sides heaving as he clamped his jaws shut in an effort to contain his broiling anger. Suddenly, he stood up and went to walk away, spitting his words over his shoulder as he went. "I'm gonna pretend this is just you high off the meds, and come back when you're talking like yourself again."

Now angry herself, Elaine struggled against the sheets and the wires sticking into her so she could at least somewhat sit up to shout at his back. "Do not belittle me! I am speaking clearly!"

"No, you're not!" he shouted and whirled back around on her. "I never took you for a coward, Elaine!"

"It's not cowardice!" she couldn't take it anymore, everything was bursting apart inside her. It hurt too much to try and push him away like this. Her bottom lip wobbled and her anger slipped away into a broken whisper. "I just… I just realised all the things that will mean the end of us."

In the face her sudden chang of mood, the Turian himself seemed to lose his fire. Slowly, he lowered himself back into his chair, and asked quietly: "Like what?"

"Garrus, I'm a _GREY WARDEN."_ She couldn't help the bitterness in her voice at those two words that had previously defined her entire existence. "My purpose in life is to seek out the Darkspawn, or any who spread the Blight, and destroy them. With the Collectors, and now the Reapers, in control of that foul dark magic, I have to stay focused on that mission. I'm the only one who can stop it."

"Well, funnily enough, _my_ mission is the same as Shepard's – we're focused on ending the Reapers. Can't we do that together?"

"And what if we do?" she asked shakily, looking at him with glistening eyes, to be sure he saw how frightened she was over this very possibility. "What if we give in to this, and we decide this is something long-term… Garrus, d-do you know – _really_ know – what being a Grey Warden means for me? I only have 20 to 30 years left to live, give or take, thanks to this poison in my blood. What kind of life could we have together in that amount of time? I've read about the medicines of this time; you could live to 140… but I won't see the other side of 50."

Back during the Blight, it hadn't really mattered that much when Alistair had told her. She'd lived in a time when even the rich and powerful barely made it to 70 or 80. 50 had seemed like a good age to take her leave of this world. But now, she despised the fact that this taint would take one more thing away from her. And as she looked at Garrus, she knew he was beginning to see where she was coming from. But she wasn't done yet.

"Did I tell you what happens when a Warden reaches the end? We start to hear the music, a constant sound that you can hardly bare. When that happens, are you prepared to watch me slowly degrade as the taint takes hold and my calling sets in? When I lose my mind and become a ghoul, will you be the one to put a bullet in my head to end it?"

He looked ill at her words. "I don't wanna hear this…"

"Well, if not that, then you'll have to be prepared to say goodbye. I'll have no choice but to send myself away to die in battle. There are no Deep Roads out here, so maybe I'll find a nest of Thresher Maws or a den of pirates. I'll need to kill myself before it gets too bad." Damn it all, the tears slipped by her lashes, and once one fell, she couldn't stop the others from cascading down her face. Throughout the last two years of her life, she had been fully prepared to die. But now, the thought of having it all end, of losing everything around her, it terrified her more than anything. "Garrus, do you hear what I'm saying? I can't make you do any of that! I can't stand to think of leaving you with that grief. I don't want to go, but I can't put you through that."

Garrus quickly stood up and sat himself on the edge of her bed, the mattress dipping under his weight. His talons grasped hold of her shoulders and he pulled her up and held her in his arms. Elaine surrendered into him, the sobs exploding out of her as she wallowed in grief for the death that had not even claimed her yet. She hated it, hated herself, for choosing this wretched existence that was now forcing her to abandon the one she loved most of all. She could now admit that, even if only to herself. Those three little words she dared not say on the Collector Base: _I love him._ And as she wept, Garrus gently held her close, his talons running up and down her back to offer whatever comfort he could give.

"You won't," he whispered into her hair soothingly. "We won't suffer any of it."

As her sobs subsided, she hiccupped a whisper: "How can you say that?"

"Because I'm not worried. About the taint, or you, or any of it. Salarians are always finding cures for diseases that haven't even been discovered yet. I'm sure they'll jump at the chance to try and cure you, once they realise how much they owe us for saving the galaxy multiple times." Despite herself, she laughed. Garrus was always the one who knew how to lighten the mood and put a smile on her face. It made the tears come faster. Slowly, he pulled her back just enough so that he could cup her face, press his forehead to hers and gaze into her eyes. "But… if the worse comes to worst… I still wanna take that chance. I don't want to back out for anything. I wanna be in this with you together, for however long we've got left."

She wanted to tell him how impossible it was, how futile and hopeless such a thing could be. But she dared not speak. She dared not even breathe. More than anything, she wanted to believe in what he said, that somehow things could be possible.

And then he smirked in amusement. "Plus, with the Reapers practically on our doorsteps, we could all die before the age of 50 anyways. So, win-win either way, I guess."

The warmth that bloomed inside her chest hurt just as much as it soothed. The depth of his feelings, what he was prepared to do for her, for _them_ … No words could describe how deeply touched she felt. And in that moment, she knew it was a lost cause to fight with him on this. To fight _herself_. To leave him was the last thing in this galaxy that she wanted. So, even if the ending was inevitable, even if they were both doomed to heartache and grief, she would do as he said and be with him in this moment. For however long they had left together. She tilted her head and kissed him. The familiar taste of cinnamon on his tongue made her far too happy than should feasibly be possible. After a while, they parted with a smile, and Elaine rested her head on his shoulder, surrounded by his arms, taking in the warmth of him.

They sat there for quite some time in comfortable silence. And then, Garrus murmured quietly: "By the way, did you imply that you _wanted_ this to be a long-term thing?"

Elaine frowned, and dared to glance up at him. "Well, I would like to think so. Do you?"

"Wouldn't imagine it any other way." He purred with the biggest grin she had ever seen.

The silence once more enfolded around them. Elaine felt so comfortable, so _right_ , being in his arms, that she could feel her eyelids grow heavy. Trying to fight sleep, she mumbled out a question: "So what happens now?"

"I don't know," she felt him shrug. "Probably just fly around, dispense justice in an unjust galaxy, kill a couple of Reapers on the side, and have the best sex of our lives on the way. Sound good to you?"

Even as her eyes closed, she couldn't stop herself from smiling into his carapace. "Sounds perfect."

* * *

Shepard couldn't keep the dreamy smile off his face as he closed down his personal terminal. The hum of the fishtank was the only sound and the only light available in his dim quarters. Maybe Liara would like that when she came to visit? He fully intended on making her come see him. That phonecall had been wonderful, but brief. They both had been too wrapped up in their relief he'd survived the suicide mission. And perhaps Thane was right, he'd made a career out of performing the impossible.

 _"_ _Err, Shepard?"_ Joker's voice suddenly filled the small cabin, startling the Spectre. _"Incoming message from Admiral Hackett, Alliance HQ. I figured you'd wanna take this."_

Instantly, he was back in business-mode. "Patch him through, Joker."

 _"_ _Commander Shepard."_ Came the voice of the grizzled old veteran on the reawakened terminal. _"I need to discuss a sensitive matter with you privately…"_


	42. The Betrayal

The Normandy managed to limp its way back into port. And what other destination should Shepard find himself in than Noveria. That had been an interesting conversation, to bully, persuade and bribe the officials at the port to let them dock. But one point that Noveria had in its favour was the fact that everything was legal there – to a point. So it was rather easy for Joker and EDI to make a list of all the parts they'd need in order to repair the ship, and then have those parts handy and available with little red tape to hinder the process.

It took two days to get their repairs done on a functional level, and EDI said she could perform on her own all the technical tests to be sure all the systems were back in sync. With that in mind, Shepard ordered all his crew to have the rest of the week off for shore leave. The ground team had all seemed in high spirits, ready to celebrate their victory over the Collectors. The rest of the crew, though still happy, seemed a little more reserved. Shepard had then used a good portion of the credits he'd accumulated over the course of their many mission in order to book each one of them into a mandatory therapy session. It was the least he could do for letting them be taken by the Collectors in the first place.

He made sure each of them were safely off, before he decided to slip away. It was easy to hire a private transport shuttle to use for himself. Smuggling in all his arms and armour from the Normandy had been a little chatting – especially with EDI being so nosy. But with everything he'd need, he said his last prayers, and lifted off. Once he was out of Noveria, he punched in his coordinates for Batarian space…

* * *

Elaine flopped down, the side of her face buried against the pillow, her ribs expanding to their fullest as she tried to suck in air. Her hair tumbled all around her face and in her eyes, but she couldn't find the will to care as the fireworks that still sparked inside her body slowly set her back down to earth.

"One of these days…" she muttered breathlessly. "You will kill me…"

Garrus chuckled darkly, running his tongue up her spine before ending with a flick behind her ear. She shivered, even with her body soaked with sweat, the rush of lingering desire making her burn. "I think you deserve a little torture for the heart-attack you nearly gave me."

She groaned. "I did say I was sorry."

Hands planted on either side of her, hips still firmly pressed against her backside, Garrus leaned down to nuzzle the back of her neck and her messy hair. In a flash of surprising speed, Elaine flipped around, and her arm shot out to push her Turian lover down. Garrus fell back onto the mattress, and Elaine followed him, pinning him underneath her as she straddled his sensitive waist. Now it was his turn to shiver with a purr.

"Didn't think you could go another round so fast," He grinned.

It was infectious, and Elaine was still smiling against his lips as she leaned down to kiss him with slow and tantalising passion. She moaned. "As much as I would love to," she said, leaning back. "We do need to leave this room at some point."

She gathered the sheet around her like a toga to hide her modesty (even though she wasn't sure why), and pulled it off the bed with her as she dashed towards the bathroom. She attempted to lock the door behind her, simply because she hoped to stall him just a little. A giggle was barely contained as she bit her bottom lip. The last few days had been… the only way to describe it was _magical_. With their shore-leave, Garrus had hired them a room in a hotel to use for the duration of their time off. At first, he'd taken her out like what he called a _'tourist'_ , to restaurants and theatres. And it wasn't until he let the word _date_ slip out of his mouth once, that Elaine realised what was happening – he was trying to court her, officially, in this world's way. She couldn't have been happier, to forget the sword and shield, to forget the impending doom hanging over them, to just simply exist as if they were normal. That was the most freeing experience of her life. And then, though her wounds had been healed almost instantly by Dr Chakwas' amazing skills, she still needed a few days of taking it easy to let her muscles recuperate. Well, the moment that time limit was up, she had practically jumped on Garrus – the pair of them hadn't left the hotel room since.

She turned on the shower the way Garrus has shown her when they'd first booked in. As she waited for the water to get to the right amount of warm, her other hand trailed over her neck, her breasts and even towards her tender nether-regions, all still feeling the ghost of the turian's kisses and love-making. Thinking back to as little as two years ago, even if it felt like a lifetime ago now. Back before the Blight, she had never thought she would find such happiness with any man, let alone a man that appeared as Garrus did. A chortle escaped her as she remembered their first meeting – he had frightened her, made her believe a new form of demon walked the world. And now look at them. Words echoed in her head from when she and Garrus had met up with Kasumi only briefly the other day in front of a casino (promptly before said casino was robbed).

 _"_ _I'm happy for you two. It's not often you find something good in a galaxy like this."_ The thief had said with a knowing smirk. Elaine smiled to herself and wondered if it was possible to be _too_ happy.

There was a loud beep behind her, and she nearly slipped on the shiny tiles from turning around too fast. The door unlocked and opened to reveal Garrus leaning against the frame, still gloriously naked enough to make his Warden lover blush.

She played a coy smile at him. "What took you so long?"

"Just making sure we got everything ready for the morning."

Her smile fell. Of course. Their shore leave would be over in the morning and then it would be back to the Normandy, and this bubble of ignorant bliss would end. The moment her face fell, Garrus was there in front of her, his fingers beneath her chin to tilt her face up to his. He pressed his forehead to hers, and Elaine melted against him, her worry forgotten.

"What do you think happens now?" she asked. "With Collectors defeated, where will we go?"

"Well, I thought I already told you. The Reapers are still out there, so we're gonna have to stick with Shepard to get that done."

She grinned and looped her arms around his neck. "Because, Maker forbid, he couldn't get it done without us."

"Sure he could – though not anywhere near as stylishly, of course." And then he paused, and dare she think it, but was that a glimmer of apprehension in his eyes? "And there's one more thing I wanna do…"

"What is it?"

Slowly, he ran his talons through her long hair, as if admiring the way the colour flashed gold in the overhead light. When he spoke, his voice was quiet, but there was a small smile growing on his face. "In between all this rushing around… I wanna take you to Palaven."

Elaine blinked in surprise. "Palaven?"

"To meet my family. I figure it's time to introduce you. Tradition usually says I need to do that _before_ we start sleeping together – or that's according to the vids Joker gave me. But I figure I can muddle around with the order of the steps just this once."

Her heart felt near to bursting. He wanted her to meet his family, wanted her to be part of it. Tears stung her eyes, and to be sure he couldn't see them, she surged forward and kissed him, hard and fierce. "I love you, Garrus Vakarian."

Garrus seemed to choke on their entwined tongues. He coughed and spluttered and wrenched himself back. "I-I'm sorry, I think my translator just glitched… What did you say?"

The three little words were out. All the fear, all the anxiety she'd had over them, it all seemed inconsequential now. She loved him. _SHE LOVED HIM!_ Stepping back into his arms, she pulled on his carapace until she could press her lips to his again. "I love you, Garrus Vakarian. Is that a problem?"

He stood there, slack jawed for an uncomfortably long moment. And then, the biggest smile she'd ever seen spread across his mandibles. "Not. At. All." Like they were dancers, he gripped her by the waist and then bent her backwards into dip. "I love you too, Elaine Cousland."

She held on, one arm wrapped around his neck so she could reach under his fringe, as he kissed her, slow, deep, and enough to send her mind spinning into a pit of desire. Talons gripped at the sheet that still encased her body, and tried to pull it off. Elaine felt her foot wobble as it became entangled in her feet.

In alarm, she tried to break the kiss to warn him off, "Garrus–!"

Too late. Garrus tried to pull it again, and Elaine felt her whole body slip out from under her on the slippery tiled floor. Her whole weight pulled on Garrus' already overbalanced body. The pair of them cried out as they suddenly pitched forward and fell straight into the shower. Elaine tried to get up, her hair starting to soak through under the spray, her limbs entangled with Garrus'. She was laughing, and after a moment, so was he.

They kissed and then made love under the running water. All the while, Elaine didn't think of her vision, or her own mission that was now laid out in front of her. For just one more night, her purpose here, was completely forgotten.

* * *

The Normandy quietly hummed as she sailed through the endless expanse of stars; only Shepard, so in tune with his own ship's heartbeat, could hear the distant thrum of its mass effect core. He lay upon the bed Chakwas had assigned for him, unable to sleep for fear of what would await him there. He'd only been back on board a few hours, and Chakwas had tried to ease his worry that there seemed to be nothing physically wrong with him, and he appeared to have no signs of indoctrination.

But in the quiet moments he could still see the visions the artefact had thrust onto his mind. He could still see that little dot on the galaxy map blinking out of existence… Shepard had had to make tough calls before, but not even he thought he would have to sentence 300,000 batarians to die. Even if he recognised that it was for the greater good, the number still staggered him. And then, through it all, even now as he lay there in the silence, he could hear Harbinger's voice growl out his ominous warning.

 _"_ _Know this as you die in vain: Your time will come. Your species WILL fall. Prepare yourselves for the arrival!"_

Unable to stand it a moment longer, Shepard reached for his omnitool and summoned it to life. He waited as the call attempted to connect. _Please,_ he silently begged, _please pick up._ He knew it was a long shot for security reasons, but he needed to hear her voice.

Finally, the video connected and Liara's beautiful face, even pixelated, was brought before his eyes. _"Hello? Shepard? Is everything alright?"_

"Hey, Liara…" he choked out.

 _"_ _Shepard?"_ she looked at him, _really_ looked at him. She probably saw the bags under his eyes, the scratch over his eyebrow, and the haunted shadow in his eyes. _"James… what's wrong?"_

"I just… I needed to see you. To hear your voice."

 _"_ _Well, I'm here. Do you want to talk about it?"_

"I…" the words were a lump in his throat that he couldn't swallow down. He couldn't tell her, what would she think of him? "I did something… something terrible, Liara. It was the right call. But…"

 _"_ _If you say it was the right call, then I believe you."_

"Would you?" he pressed, suddenly needing to know the answer. "If you knew what I'd done, would you still believe in me?"

Her answer was immediate. _"With all my heart."_

Damnit, the sting in the back of his eyes grew even as he smiled at her. God, he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms right now and kiss her until morning. "I miss you."

 _"_ _Then come and visit me soon,"_ her smile was like a sun warming his insides. _"You know my door is always open to you."_

"I will. That's a promise."

"Commander?"

Shepard bolted upright, startled, and simultaneously terminated the call as if to shield Liara from whoever had entered. Dr Chakwas stood in the doorway, but before he could ask her what the problem was, she stepped aside, and revealed a man stood behind her. Shepard's jaw nearly hit the floor.

Admiral Hackett marched into the Normandy's medbay, his regal posture broadcasting his authority, even when he stood straight and only had his hands neatly clasped behind his back. Shepard had only met the man in person once before, but it was enough to leave an impression. A single scar ran down one side of his wrinkled face, a three day stubble peppering his jawline. The door closed behind the Admiral, who's grey eyes were fixed on Shepard in a calm and cool gaze.

"A-Admiral!" Shepard choked out as he stumbled to stand, clumsily pulling off a salute.

"At ease," Hackett nodded, a gentleness in his gaze that made Shepard relax more than his words. "How're you doing, Commander?"

"Fine, sir… I'm sorry, sir, I wasn't exactly expecting to see you here."

"Shepard, you went down there as personal favour to me. I decided to debrief you in person." There was a small twitch in the admiral's eyebrow, but it was enough to suddenly make him appear colder. "Of course, that was _before_ the Mass Relay exploded and destroyed an entire Batarian system. What the hell happened out there, Commander?"

Shepard leaned back on his bed, and tried to test the waters: "What have you heard?"

"All I know is I sent you down there to break Amanda Kenson out of prison. Then the system was destroyed. I hope you can fill in the logic between those two events."

"Kenson said the Reapers were the Galaxy's salvation. Then she captured and sedated me, and held me against my will. She wasn't willing to stop the invasion." The words were spat from his tongue. Even now, he could feel his outrage at what that insane-harpy had done to him. and what she'd forced him to do. "So I did what had to be done."

"Sounds like Amanda was indoctrinated. Well. That's… a damn shame." Hackett closed his eyes and sighed heavily. After a moment of silence, he took a step away, as if collecting his thoughts. He spoke to Shepard over his shoulder. "And you believe the Reaper invasion really was a threat?"

"You know I do, Sir. No matter how much the Alliance or the Council wants to paint me as a raving lunatic."

Hackett nodded, and once more slipped into silence as his stony expression became lost in thought. Finally, with a fortifying breath, he turned back around to the commander. "I won't lie to you, Shepard: the Batarians will want blood, and there's just enough evidence for a witch hunt. And we don't want war with the Batarians. Not with the Reapers at the Galaxy's edge."

Shepard felt the air leave his lungs, the floor drop away from his feet. An ever-so-slight tremble started up in his fingers. He couldn't believe it. Refused to believe it. But what the Admiral said was what he'd always suspected would happen eventually. He'd gone too far, the Alliance were pulling the rug out from under him. He couldn't compute it in his mind – being without the Alliance! It had always been there since he'd been a know-it-all teenager, a safety net that had always been there to ground him. Even when working for Cerberus, Shepard had remained true to the Alliance at heart. But now that was all going to be taken away from him?!

"So… so that's it? The Alliance are just gonna sling me to the wolves? Clean their hands of me?"

"Shepard, there were 300,000 Batarians down in that system. And they're all dead–"

"I know that! _I'm_ the one who's still _living_ with that fact!" Shepard snapped. "Admiral, I _wish_ I didn't have to make that call. But they died to save trillions more lives elsewhere. If that's what it takes to stop the Reapers… I don't see another way around it."

In the face of Shepard's emotional tirade, Hackett stood immovable and unphased. When it was finished, he allowed the silence to wash over them. Slowly, he approached, and placed a firm hand on Shepard's shoulder. "I know how hard that call can be, Commander. And I don't think the call was wrong. I'm sorry those Batarians lost their lives, but someone has to make the tough decisions that get people killed." The hand slipped away, and Shepard felt as if the very _thing_ that made him an Alliance soldier slipped away with it. "But unfortunately, not everyone will see it that way."

He could've gotten angry, he could've really kicked up a storm, gone as rogue as most of the higher-ups believed him to be. But none of that would help. Instead, he spoke quietly: "So what do you suggest?"

"Evidence against you is shoddy, at best. But I've already received word from the Alliance brass that they want you to return home to Earth to face the music. Don't lose heart just yet, Shepard. I can't stop it, but I can and will make them fight for it."

"I stop a Reaper invasion and they wanna put me up on _charges_?"

"It's not a matter of preference, Shepard. You'll be a convenient scapegoat for avoiding open war."

"And so ends Commander Shepard…"

Hackett's eyes softened, as if he were truly saddened by this whole procedure. "I wish it wasn't like this, Shepard. If you ask me, you're the best soldier the Alliance has ever seen, and you've saved all of us more times than we can count."

The Commander looked up at the older veteran before him, a man that had been elusive and distant throughout most of his career. Shepard never took much notice of the gratitude of others; he had a job to do, he did it, and he didn't need anyone patting him on the back for it. But after so many years of people calling him relentless, ruthless, insensitive, unsophisticated, brash… just to hear simple praise from the likes of Hackett did a lot to sooth the new raw wound in his soul. "At least I know I've got you fighting my corner, Sir. Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

There was a moment where the two merely lingered in mutual respect. And then Shepard began to notice that Hackett seemed to linger in the room. "Is there something else, Sir?"

"Actually yes, Shepard, there is." Reluctantly, Hackett pulled a datapad from his suit jacket and handed it to Shepard. "Do you recognise this woman?"

Shepard inspected the frozen image he was shown. It was low quality, but there was no mistaking the pale golden hair or the blood-red dragon emblazoned on the armour. "Elaine? Yeah, she's part of my crew. Why?"

"I was afraid of that. I'm sorry, Commander, but I must declare her under arrest as well."

"What the Hell!?" Shepard shot to his feet, his previous calm blasted aside in the face of his anger. "Why?!"

Hackett's brows came down at Shepard's tone, but his tone remained neutral. "Do you remember Admiral Jackson? He was murdered a couple months back on Bekenstein whilst attending a… _function_ , let's call it."

"You mean he was being shady as fuck?" Shepard crossed his arms, and tried his hardest not to glare. "Yeah I know. I still don't see what this has to do with–"

"The suspect was seen as part of your crew on the Citadel several days before Jackson's murder. And about a week ago, we got an anonymous tip with video evidence."

Hackett pressed a button on the datapad and showed it to Shepard. He immediately recognised the admiral walking through Donovan Hock's party, going off into the private rooms. The camera footage was from a security feed and not of very good quality. It showed when it kept frazzling and going grainy. Through the haze, Shepard saw the vague impression of a woman with yellow hair in a slim dress step up to the admiral in the private rooms. From her back, she produced a shot and thin sword – looking like something a ninja might use – and stab it through Jackson's torso. The admiral was left to die in a pool of his own blood as the woman walked away.

"That's fake." Was Shepard's immediate response. "Elaine didn't do it, she doesn't go around stabbing people for shits and giggles. And that's totally the wrong sword! She'd never wield something like that."

"Look Shepard, if you vouch for your crew, that's enough for me. But until my people can prove this was manufactured, my hands are tied. The brass wants her brought in until the investigation is over."

"Then I invoke my Spectre status to remove those charges–"

"Won't fly, Commander. Since the Council don't want to get in the middle of a potential Batarian-Human war, they've temporarily stripped you of your Spectre status."

Now Shepard _really_ wanted to kick up a shit-storm. It was one thing to go after him, but _no one_ went after his crew! "Now what? You gonna take us both in chains?"

Hackett shook his head, appearing to all the world as if he really hated his job right now. "No, Commander. I understand you've got a lot of non-Alliance crew on your ship. I've been given orders to escort the Normandy back to Earth – but we can make a stop at the Citadel to let them off."

"You're not scared she'll jump ship?"

"If she does, it will look a lot worse on both your cases." Hackett didn't wait for another comeback. The conversation was over. He turned around and marched out. At the door, he paused briefly to speak over his shoulder to Shepard. "I'll leave you to make the right decision. We leave at 0700 hours."

* * *

"You cannot be serious."

Shepard stared down at the repaired _real_ table in the conference room, gazing at it intently so he wouldn't have to see the look on Elaine's face. "Believe me, I _really_ wish I wasn't." Even sleeping on this change of events overnight hadn't made it go away or changed his opinion on the matter. He wasn't prepared to let someone of his crew go down in flames, but… "But Admiral Hackett says there's nothing more he can do."

The woman slammed her hands down on the table-top, the force enough to make the whole table shake. "But I didn't do this! Shepard, you must know I'm innocent–"

"Of course, I do." Shepard cut in, finally glancing up at her. She definitely looked better now, and there seemed to be this flare of life to her that wasn't there before. And it crushed him further inside to think he was asking to take that all away from her so she could be locked in a prison. "But no one is gonna take your word for it. We need to prove it to everyone else."

"And they want to imprison you also? For something I am falsely accused of? That is outrageous–"

"It's nothing to do with you, Elaine." He murmured vaguely. He hesitated to tell her (or any of the crew) what had happened out on the asteroid. The information wouldn't be kept secret for long – news stations would soon be broadcasting the tragedy and then his involvement as soon as they could. But considering Elaine's previous stance on issues like this, he knew she wouldn't look kindly upon him if she knew what he'd done. "They're taking me in on a, um… _different_ charge. Please don't ask."

He expected her to press for details, but for some reason she didn't. Her ice-blue eyes grew soft, distant. She slowly sank into one of the chairs at the table, and hung her head in her hands, loose hair falling over her fingers. "What will happen to the others?"

"We're dropping them off at the Citadel, and all credits we've amassed are going to be split evenly so everyone can book passage to whatever world they wish to travel to."

"Garrus isn't going to like this."

"Probably just as much as Liara," he snorted. _Shit,_ he only just remembered his last words to her. He'd promised to visit her. She was going to hate him for breaking it.

"But… like you said, we have no choice." Elaine gave one, short sigh, and then she stood. For all the rest of the world, she appeared as if she was ready to go into this fight with all the calm serenity of making a cup of tea. "Besides. Your Alliance will soon see that I am innocent of this crime, the evidence won't hold up under scrutiny, and then I shall be set free."

The words were on the tip of his tongue. To tell her that she was being unbelievably naïve. The Alliance were going to use her as a scapegoat to close this case and not have to look too deeply for anything unsavoury that might come to light. But to tell her that would be to crush her hopes. And Shepard was many things, but he wasn't such an asshole as to deprive such a woman of the one thing that would keep her going in this long and dark journey ahead of them.

He suddenly felt a touch on his shoulder, and looked up to find Elaine stood beside him, smiling down at him sweetly. "And you will walk out of there with me, when they see how much you've done for them."

Oh, how could naivety crush one's insides so much? Shepard watched her leave, probably to go and break the news to Garrus. He didn't envy that conversation. The poor guy was probably going to blow a bulkhead. Another little piece of Shepard shrivelled up as he reminisced on how he'd watched those two grow closer over the course of the last few months. He'd never thought it would grow to be romantic, but he was so happy for both of them to have found each other. They made each other happy, and that was enough for Shepard. And now they were going to be split apart. For not the first time, he thought about forcing Elaine in an escape-pod, or sending her off to go into hiding with Thane or Kasumi. But no, the Grey Warden wouldn't have that. She wanted to see this through to the end, even if it meant her doom, and still believe it could all work out in the end.

"I wish that were true, Elaine… I really do…"

* * *

The morning after Shepard told her, the Normandy and Admiral Hackett's personal flagship came into the Citadel. Shepard had told all of the crew beforehand the situation and his plan to send them all on their way. Of course, everyone was outraged at the news, and many refused to go along with this. They each showed an incredible loyalty to Shepard that made Elaine's heart swell with pride. Grunt offered to fight for Shepard's freedom like Krogan trials-by-combat. Jacob strung off a stream of curses. Mordin listed alphabetically how idiotic yet pragmatic this whole issue was. In the end, Shepard had been forced to put his foot down to convince some of them that they needed to go, that most of them were criminals or people that the Alliance would take interest in if given the chance. Only through great reluctance did they decide to do as their Commander bid one last time.

As they came onto the Citadel, it became apparent that a few were going off in pairs to similar destinations, or some were even staying on the Citadel itself. Shepard handed over the credits to each of them, and they all hurled out their respective belongings. At the airlock, they each lingered to say their final goodbyes to those who stayed behind (Joker, Kenneth and Gabby being the first of a few). Elaine shed a little tear as she bid farewell to Samara and then Grunt. She knew Shepard had become attached to a few of the others, and that he grieved this parting in his own way. Mordin had only told her cryptically: "Will have results for you upon next meeting!" having no idea what he meant by that, she chose to ignore it. Throughout the entire proceedings, Elaine never noticed a single one of Hackett's men either on the Normandy or on the dock outside spying or otherwise checking she and Shepard hadn't made a run for it. Perhaps he was giving them respect to assume they wouldn't.

"Pssst! Elaine!" came a sudden voice on Elaine's left, and she turned in time as a flicker of light showed her where Kasumi stood. "Grab my hand, and my cloak can extend to you for a short time."

"Do it!" Tali suddenly appeared on Elaine's other side, whispering fiercely. "I'm not losing you to these _Bosh'tets_!"

"Girls," the warden tried to sooth with a gentle (if sad) smile. "I appreciate the thought. But this is something I must do. Don't worry, I'll be seeing you again soon."

Tali wrung her hands so fast, she thought her anxiety would pull them completely off. "You say that _now_ , and then it will be twenty years, and you'll need to dig your way out with a spoon and–"

She grabbed the Quarian's hands to try to still them. "Tali! It'll be fine, trust me, it's not forever. I doubt it'll even be a month. And by then, you'll be back with the fleet and they will see how wonderful you are and make you an Admiral."

"Oh, _suuuuuure_. That's likely to happen."

"Why not? I believe you could." Before her little friend could give another retort, she pulled her into tight hug that threatened to break her bones. Hiding her face in Tali's shoulders, Elaine bit her lip to hide away the threatening tears. "You take care of yourself, Tali."

Tali's voie sounded hoarse as if from trying to swallow a lump in her throat. "I have my shotgun. What else do I need – other than my best friend?"

It took all of Elaine's restraint to pull away, to smile, to look as if her heart wasn't breaking at the niggling doubt she would never see any of them again. Tali stepped back, and Legion was at her shoulder, his light blinking curiously. The pair of them were one of the volunteered pairs. They were both heading off in the direction of the Veil. Legion would pose as a 'personalised-mech' on the Citadel until they could book transport, and then once they got close enough to Geth-space, he would take an escape pod and float until a Geth ship could pick him up.

Elaine turned to the master-thief and opened her arms to pull her into an embrace as well. "Kasumi–"

"Six months." Was the short answer as said thief held up her hand to Elaine's lips to keep her at bay. "I'm giving it six months. If you're not out, or I don't hear from you, I'm breaking you out. I've never stolen a _person_ before. I look forward to the challenge."

Hearing the excitement Kasumi had for potentially breaking the law should not have made Elaine smile as widely as she did. She hugged both her and Tali once more, the three friends vowing to see each other again soon, before reluctantly parting. Elaine watched them go until they were completely out of sight on the crowded docks. It was only in her quiet sorrow that she realised someone was stood beside her.

"It appears it is time for us to part ways, Siha." Thane said with a polite smile and bow. "I have already promised Shepard my intentions to send him messages whilst he is incarcerated. I offer you the same courtesy."

"I would like that very much, Thane." Elaine nodded. She didn't know what to expect from prisons of this era, but even so, the promise of letters was one she welcomed. "Will you be staying with your son?"

"I hope so. I intend to spend as much time with Kolyat as I can with what little time I might have left." The mere reminder of Thane's deadly disease made Elaine's heart stutter and fall, to think he might be dead by the time she left! Something in her face must've been telling, for Thane gently touched her chin in an act that reminded her a little of her father. "Do not grieve, Siha. I have accepted my death. Kalahira will take me without resistance when the time comes."

"I still don't know how you can accept death so… peacefully."

"Perhaps your struggle comes from a new reason for living." Thane's black eyes shifted slightly, and Elaine followed his gaze to see Garrus marching up the CIC. His face was a storm, his whole body screaming of his rage. When she'd told him of her impending arrest, Garrus had not been best pleased, to say the least. She winced. Thane noticed, and chuckled. "Go to him. Angered he may be, but a lost opportunity the both of you will regret more."

One more, his wisdom humbled her. "Thank you. For everything, Thane."

The Drell picked up her hand and softly placed a small silver coin in her palm. It was battered and scratched, the carving of a Drell's face on one side faded with age. He closed her fingers around the talisman. "I pray Arashu guide and protect you, Siha. Until we meet again."

As Thane swept elegantly away, Elaine's eyes once more caught on Garrus', who had been watching her. He waited just a few paces away, giving her privacy, but making his presence known. Not wanting everyone to overhear the upcoming confrontation, and also wanting to afford herself a semblance of privacy, Elaine stepped away from Shepard and the others at the airlock and came to Garrus.

"You know I'm not going anywhere, right?" were his immediate words.

"And you'll also know that we have little choice." Elaine murmured shortly. They'd argued over this all night, and she was frankly tired of repeating the same words. They sounded like they grew falser the more she said them. "This is for the–"

"If you say ' _for the best_ ', I'll…" he trailed off with a growl, unable to complete the sentence. He slumped, looking like a lost child in a storm of uncertainty. "I can't watch you go. Damnit, we just got done saying _I love you_ 's, and now I've got to watch you fly away, where I might never see you again?"

"Garrus, you don't know that–"

"This is bureaucratic crap, Elaine." He suddenly grabbed hold of her shoulders, his eyes wild with fear and desperation. "Shepard won't say anything because he won't want to dash your hopes. But I can't sit by and let this happen. They're not interested in the truth, Elaine! They're gonna pin the blame on you because its easy and _some_ evidence (even if its unreliable) points to you."

"Then I will simply convince them the truth."

"How can you say that?! How can you act so calm?!"

"Because if I don't, I might fall apart." The words were quiet, but were enough to still her mate's anxiety. And the were true. Elaine felt as if at any moment she would break under the strain of her growing despair. It was only her training as a noble, as a Cousland, that was keeping her composure together now. She reached up and gently pulled Garrus' hands off her shoulders, yet held onto them close to her heart. "Garrus. They _will not_ hold me indefinitely. I will be free. And on that day, I will return to you. I swear it."

Eyes glistening, he leaned his head down to brush his forehead with hers. "How can you promise that?"

"Because you'll have a piece of me with you." She smiled up at his confusion. "I have agreed to surrender myself to Shepard's government. But I will not trust them with my arms or armour. Shepard has inconspicuously hidden my armour in storage, so no one will look too closely. EDI has helped me to hide away my shield as well. That just leaves my most precious possession…"

Catching on to her meaning, Garrus pulled away from her, alarmed. "No, Elaine, I–"

"Starfang," she murmured and unstrapped the sword from where it hung at her belt. She held it reverently in her hands, pulling the blade from the sheath just a little to admire its blue steel. "It was forged from the metal of a star that fell right in front of me when I travelled during the Blight. Perhaps, it was a sign from the Maker of the journey that was destined for me, and the love I'd meet amongst those stars. For that reason, I want you to have it for safekeeping."

She held it out to him, but he backed away further, throwing up his hands to try and ward her off. "I-I can't accept this! It's _your_ sword!"

"Please, Garrus." She pushed it into his hands, staring into his eyes intently – and noticing for the first time that the hue of his eyes matched that of her blade. "Safeguard this for me. Hold on to it, until we are reunited, and I can fight at your side with it once more."

He fought with himself. She knew how he hated this, that by doing this it would make her departure from him all the more real. And she had to agree. She suddenly felt naked and vulnerable without either her sword or shield. But he couldn't not say no. Reluctantly, his fingers closed around the sword, and he held it tightly against him. to try and soften the hardship, she pressed her forehead to his, to offer what comfort she could.

"Don't take too long, tough-girl," he whispered with some half-hearted attempt at his usual joking tone. "It's rude to keep the in-laws waiting."

Even now, he made her smile. Was it only yesterday she had awoken with the excitement of being part of his world? Now that seemed just as distant a dream as having him meet her own family. Her mother would've loved him, she realised.

Standing on her tiptoes, she tilted her face to capture his mouth-plates with her lips. It wasn't slow and passionate or hungry and filled with desire. It was loving and filled with infinite sorrow. She couldn't say the words 'goodbye' to him. it felt too final. Instead, she could only convey her parting through that kiss, and hope it also spoke to him of her promise to come back. Somehow, someway, she vowed to herself, she would find her way back to him.

Watching him leave onto the docks was the hardest of all.

* * *

It wasn't long after they left the Citadel that the Normandy was boarded by people assigned from Hackett's crew. They began to go through all parts of the ships, combing through for 'evidence', they said. Elaine had practically hissed at them when they attempted to mess with Garrus' carefully calibrated terminal for the main gun. She'd awaited in the Main Battery, unable to bring herself to leave it just yet, when they'd come, her personal escort. Two men in helmets and armour, to watch over her and make sure she didn't escape. Like she had anywhere to go now, she thought with a roll of her eyes.

The pair of grunts followed her everywhere she went about the ship. Elaine had to ignore them for fear she would snap at them in her growing ire. Eventually, she found herself meandering towards the cockpit. Joker was there but not in his usual place. The Alliance were 'investigating' him as well for dealings with Cerberus. As such, he was ousted from his usual throne, and a pretender had taken his place. Joker stood on his crutches just off to the side, glaring at the new pilot's back as if his stare could burn the usurper out of his seat. EDI was silent throughout, and Elaine decided it must be for a good reason, so decided not to comment.

Instead, she stared out the windows as they meandered through the Sol System. In the distance, she could see a glowing blue orb come closer and closer. More details began to appear, until she finally beheld the near legendary home of her fellow humans. "So that's Earth?"

"Yeah." Joker murmured glumly as he stepped up beside her. "Doesn't seem like much, does it?"

"I can think of worse places to call a prison."

Joker offered her a watery smile and bumped his fist softly on her shoulder. No more words were said because none were needed. As the drew closer to the growing blue and green planet, a call came up through the comms for most personnel to get to the shuttles, Elaine and Shepard included. Her guards prompted her to hurry along, and she soon found herself in the cargo-bay. Two shuttles were being prepared, stacked with crates and boxes filled with 'evidence'. Shepard was talking to someone with a datapad just off to the side. Elaine wanted to go to him, to not be alone as they entered new territory, but her guards tried to shove her towards one of the shuttles. She needn't have worried, however, for Shepard saw her and immediately came towards her.

"Sorry, Commander," called the smaller man with the datapad Shepard had previously been talking to, jogging to try and catch up with the Commander's long stride. He pointed at Elaine. "She's gotta be cuffed."

Shepard stopped, and slowly fixed the man with a cold glare. "What?"

The man shook in his boots, the wig covering the bald-patch on his head trembling in place. "I-I was told she was a dangerous criminal… protocol dictates–"

"Screw your protocol!" Shepard shouted, and many people in all corners of the cargohold paused in their tasks to watch. "This woman helped save all your asses against the Collectors, she isn't a criminal and she ain't getting in no damned–"

"Shepard, it's alright." Said Elaine. Shepard looked back at her pleadingly, and she shook her head. She fixed the little man with her ice-like-eyes. "Do what you must, sir."

The little man shivered and nodded. Her guards produced the shackles that would bind her, and Elaine held out her fists, Thane's coin secreted away inside her palm. The handcuffs were tight on her pale flesh, and she did her best not to wince as they pinched her skin. It was humiliating, to feel the stares of everyone on board watching her, their eyes lingering on the heavy weights on her wrists.

"Commander, you're up in shuttle one. Miss… Cousland? You're on shuttle two." Said the little man, scrutinising his datapad. Shepard sent the man another scowl, and he threw up his hands. "Don't give me that look, Commander. We didn't expect to haul so much baggage on the shuttle. There's no room. I'm just following orders."

Shepard growled to himself, but it was clear neither of them were going to win any battles here. Shepard sent her one last look of apology, and Elaine nodded her promise to meet him on the other side. Then, they both climbed into their respective shuttles. Elaine's guards sat on either side of her, stoic and silent and boring as ever. The short man with the datapad came onto her shuttle too, and spoke a few short words with an Asian pilot in the front before coming into the back with her. A few other crew members quickly hopped on their shuttle, and then the door was closing and they lifted off. Elaine held on tight, even as the shuddering and shuffling of the shuttle was minimal as they flew through space.

With little movements, she fiddled with Thane's coin, turning it from one side to the other between her fingers. The cool surface brought a peace of mind to her tumultuous conscience. Perhaps some of Thane's relaxed perceptiveness came through it, for Elaine found her mind clearing as she held the small coin, and with it a few observations became apparent to her.

She noticed how everyone on the shuttle – except for her – had a weapon on them. That shouldn't have been so shocking, they were Alliance soldiers after all. But some of these men and women looked dressed for technical work, like Gabby and Ken. And their weapons were not on proud display, but tucked away and out of sight – she only being able to tell because datapad-man's shirt rolled up high enough when he reached for a handhold that she saw the handle of his gun poke out of the waistband of his trousers. Then she began to notice how everyone was sliding looks her way, how muscles in their necks grew tense as in preparation for something… And then, Elaine noticed the corner of a familiar golden symbol on tattooed skin that poked out from underneath someone's sleeve.

Cerberus. Elaine closed her eyes. Balled her hands into fists, and breathed. Slow in… slow out…

With a lunge, she smashed her handcuffed wrists up into the helmet of the 'guard' on her left. The glass cracked, and he slumped immediately. The other shouted. Elaine twisted and threw the same cuffs into his head too. Everyone else in the shuttle surged onto her in a wave of bodies. Elaine roared, kicked and hissed and grabbed at whatever she could reach. She fought like a High-Dragon, fuelled by her own fury to lash out to deal whatever damage she could. Her boot kicked into someone's face and she felt a nose break and blood spurt onto her sole. Her elbow whipped back into someone else's throat. Another person she managed to headbutt in the gut when she got her feet under her and pushed herself upwards. Hands threw her down and she rolled with someone. Their head came too close and she bit down on the first thing that was in range – an ear – and ripped it off.

"Jesus! She's a viper!"

"Get her with the dart!"

More hands grabbed at her, people haphazardly piled onto her until she couldn't breathe. Her arms were pinned underneath her painfully, her legs twisted awkwardly. A pinprick stabbed into the back of her neck, and the Warden felt a coolness begin to spread through her veins. She seethed with fury, and fought with all her might to stay awake as she felt all her muscles begin to go slack. Her fists tightened, and she miraculously could still feel Thane's coin in her palm. She held onto it, not sure why, but she knew for certain it would be all that remained of her link home once she arrived wherever these fiends were taking her.

"Can't you idiots handle one woman?" suddenly came a deep and grating voice from the front.

"Bitch nearly took Ron's ear off!" retorted back someone sitting on Elaine's shoulders.

A man stood from the cockpit, and walked back into the light. He was Asian, though his eyes were covered by strange dark glasses. His black hair was tied into a short pony-tail, and he held himself with a practised stance that Elaine instantly recognised as one who was a warrior. A faint sense of recognition took hold of her as she looked up at him, but her brain was starting to get foggy, and it took her a moment longer than it should have to place his face. Donovan Hock's party!

The man knelt in front of her, and cupped her chin, turning her head this way and that. Elaine took every effort to pull away and snarl: "Get your hands off me!"

"A fighter. Good." He grinned. "That makes this fun."

She spat in his face.

A woman from further back muttered a little too loudly. "Don't see why the Illusive Man wants her so bad…"

The Asian man fixed her with a cold glower. "You aren't supposed to see. You're simply supposed to obey. Now get up front and guide us out of the system. I want us docked at the ship by 1300." The woman did as instructed. The man turned back to Elaine, and began to pet her hair as if she were a toy-dog, his smirk so hideous she wanted to claw it off, but found she didn't have the energy. "Welcome aboard, Miss Cousland. Cerberus thanks you for the contributions you're going to make towards Humanity's future; with our help, of course. My name is Kei Leng, and you and I are going to be the best of friends for the foreseeable future…"

Elaine wanted to fight him, she wanted to see where they were going, she wanted to escape. But none of it was possible. Her mind wailing in despair, the Grey Warden, the Hero of Ferelden, fell into the darkness of unconsciousness.

* * *

Shepard walked out of the shuttle into the sunny Vancouver day. It felt strange to be back on Earth, his feet hadn't touched her soil in so long. There were people swarming all over the docks, perhaps a little more frantically then what was considered normal. Elaine saw several dock-masters and soldiers arguing close by, and decided to wander closer to eavesdrop.

"What do you mean it's gone?!" asked the dockmaster.

"I don't know, sir!" said one of his subordinates. "It just clicked off all channels! I can't reach them."

"Could it be a malfunction?"

A sense of dread growing in his stomach, Shepard wandered closer and spoke up. "What's going on?"

"It's the other shuttle, it's gone!" cried a lieutenant in mounting hysteria. "They broke away from the descent to Earth, we can't reach them on any channel. And now they've just disappeared off all our ways to track them!"

"Just like the Normandy." Someone said offhandedly.

"But how? Only the Normandy has that kind of technology."

Shepard felt his stomach sink into the floor, panic engulphing him for a moment with such intensity he forgot how to breathe. "… which Cerberus helped build…" he stared up at the sky, praying it was a mistake, as if looking up there would bring into view the missing shuttle. Why had he opened his big mouth?! The Illusive Man had warned him of retaliation, and Shepard had goaded him on! He spun back onto the others and grabbed hold of the nearest soldier and shouted in his face. "Get me a ship! You have to let me after them!"

"No way!" cried the dockmaster, finally getting his wits together. "We just lost one criminal. We're not losing another!"

They all converged on him. Shepard fought, he struggled, but too many hands grabbed hold of him and began to drag him away. They would not release him, and he entire dock was starting to go into lockdown to prevent any other infiltrators escaping them. Shepard watched the sky for as long as he could, until he was taken away from the light entirely. With that one last glimpse, he sent a silent plea for forgiveness to Elaine, and swore on the graves of all his lost crew, he would one day get free, and he would find Elaine. He would make this right.

 ** _TO BE CONTINUED…_**

* * *

 **A/N: And here we are. The end (for now). I never thought I would get a story of this size done in just over a year, and I want to thank each and every one of you lovely readers for all your wonderful support throughout this story. I honestly am speechless by your love and help over the course of this story. Both 'Gravity' and myself as a writer, would not be what we are today without all of you. So thank you.**

 **And before people cry in despair: YES! There is a sequel planned and YES! it is coming very soon. I'd say give me two/three weeks and I'll be uploading the very first chapter of the sequel (title still unknown, so if anyone wants to give me any ideas, feel free!). I have so much planned, and I honestly can't wait!**

 **Once again, thank you all so much for all your support throughout this past year. And I hope you can stay with me in the future.**

 **Forever yours, DONOVAN94 x**


	43. Relativity

**ANNOUNEMENT:**

 **As promised, the sequel to 'Gravity' has now been posted!**

 **Set during the events of Mass Effect 3, the story 'Relativity' follows Commander Shepard and Elaine Cousland as they struggle to unite a galaxy in the war against the Reapers... and something else far more sinister.**

 **Official summary is:**

 **Elaine Cousland, stranded over 1000 years beyond her time, is thrust into the midst of the Reaper War alongside Commander Shepard and the crew of the Normandy. Even as they struggle to end the cycle, they are beset by betrayal and horror at every turn. Yet something else is coming, something that will change the face of this war forever, a threat only Elaine knows how to face.**


End file.
